6 Tips For A Successful Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Questionmark05
I'm chronically ill. I've got a neurological condition. It's mild, but I'm on a disability pension. And I live with my parents in my own separate smallish building. I've had it since 14, and I'm now 30. I managed to work for a while, and I got a degree and half a postgraduate degree before it got debilitating. Before I left the postgraduate course I had a job offer in my field, a sponsor for my professional licence, a job teaching in the undergraduate degree and a scholarship overseas to get a rare licence qualification. I never dated because I wanted to fix it and my situation before I tried because I didn't want to inflict this on someone else. After a recent diagnosis, my Dr says it won't go away. They should be able to limit most impacts, but it's here to stay. I won't die early, and I can walk unassisted. I look normal to an outside observer. I can do everything a normal person can just more unco, and clumsily. Now at 30, when most people my age are getting into proper careers, buying houses and starting families, I can't. I'm not sure it's fair to ask someone to put up with everything that is me. I'm not sure if I should not try at all, I know it's selfish, but dam sometimes it gets so lonely. And while It was the right decision with the information I had at the time, I kinda regret waiting so long. I don't know how dating works, I've never done it.
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I'm chronically ill. I've got a neurological condition. It's mild, but I'm on a disability pension. And I live with my parents in my own separate smallish building. I've had it since 14, and I'm now 30. I managed to work for a while, and I got a degree and half a postgraduate degree before it got debilitating. Before I left the postgraduate course I had a job offer in my field, a sponsor for my professional licence, a job teaching in the undergraduate degree and a scholarship overseas to get a rare licence qualification. I never dated because I wanted to fix it and my situation before I tried because I didn't want to inflict this on someone else. After a recent diagnosis, my Dr says it won't go away. They should be able to limit most impacts, but it's here to stay. I won't die early, and I can walk unassisted. I look normal to an outside observer. I can do everything a normal person can just more unco, and clumsily. Now at 30, when most people my age are getting into proper careers, buying houses and starting families, I can't. I'm not sure it's fair to ask someone to put up with everything that is me. I'm not sure if I should not try at all, I know it's selfish, but dam sometimes it gets so lonely. And while It was the right decision with the information I had at the time, I kinda regret waiting so long. I don't know how dating works, I've never done it.
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education
I just dont know how to get back into the dating scene again after almost 5 years of staying out of it. My first and last relationship lasted for more than 6 years to the point we were planning marriage and kids and what not, but everything just fell apart and the following years leading after that bad memory was just depressing.
Im better now, and I did a lot of self evaluation and thinking after getting myself back up on my feet. As of recently I wanted to get back into dating and tried my luck with dating apps and sites, i get matches but when planning for a meet-up or an actual date things just fall through. So Im starting to think I might be sending off the wrong vibes, maybe Im not completely over my last long relationship and people can feel it? I just dont know.
Should I stay off dating for a while longer to figure myself out some more? Or just keep trying until I get that one luck date that really sparks my heart again?
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I just dont know how to get back into the dating scene again after almost 5 years of staying out of it. My first and last relationship lasted for more than 6 years to the point we were planning marriage and kids and what not, but everything just fell apart and the following years leading after that bad memory was just depressing.
Im better now, and I did a lot of self evaluation and thinking after getting myself back up on my feet. As of recently I wanted to get back into dating and tried my luck with dating apps and sites, i get matches but when planning for a meet-up or an actual date things just fall through. So Im starting to think I might be sending off the wrong vibes, maybe Im not completely over my last long relationship and people can feel it? I just dont know.
Should I stay off dating for a while longer to figure myself out some more? Or just keep trying until I get that one luck date that really sparks my heart again?
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Amy
I've never really been someone to go on dates since I'm already in a long-term relationship. I do want to be honest, though, and say that because my current relationship is long distance, it's been difficult for me not to give into my impulses in the past when I'm not feeling my best or just dissatisfied overall with my life. I feel like it'd be harder to find someone all over again if I were to seriously break up with my current partner since we've invested so much time and energy into our relationship. Guess this means that while my current circumstances are very much difficult, I realize that just having him to talk to and share my life with still provides me with a sense of joy.
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I've never really been someone to go on dates since I'm already in a long-term relationship. I do want to be honest, though, and say that because my current relationship is long distance, it's been difficult for me not to give into my impulses in the past when I'm not feeling my best or just dissatisfied overall with my life. I feel like it'd be harder to find someone all over again if I were to seriously break up with my current partner since we've invested so much time and energy into our relationship. Guess this means that while my current circumstances are very much difficult, I realize that just having him to talk to and share my life with still provides me with a sense of joy.
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Michael
I don't think I understand the point of dating. I mean I do have a general idea, but I don't really understand why someone would go through all the effort. Just asking someone out sounds like a herculean task, and then you have to come up with a location for the date, topics of conversation, you need to consider how the other person is feeling, but also consider your own feelings, you need to think about the future and what you want, but also what they want. Way way too complicated. I mean I'm miserable now, but I don't think going though all of that will improve things. Bloody hell.
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I don't think I understand the point of dating. I mean I do have a general idea, but I don't really understand why someone would go through all the effort. Just asking someone out sounds like a herculean task, and then you have to come up with a location for the date, topics of conversation, you need to consider how the other person is feeling, but also consider your own feelings, you need to think about the future and what you want, but also what they want. Way way too complicated. I mean I'm miserable now, but I don't think going though all of that will improve things. Bloody hell.
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HailAnts
So, number 1, Know yourself.
Yeah, ok. I know that I have absolutely no self-confidence and zero self-esteem.
Number 2, ah, nothing.
Seriously, there is absolutely nowhere to go from here. You cannot achieve anything with no self-esteem. So don't even try.
You can spend years trying to find out the truth, but if the truth is you have no self-worth, just give up.
Forget therapy, it won't work. Ever. Nothing will. You have to have some self-esteem to build on. If you have none, just kill yourself. Sorry, but that's the hard truth.
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So, number 1, Know yourself.
Yeah, ok. I know that I have absolutely no self-confidence and zero self-esteem.
Number 2, ah, nothing.
Seriously, there is absolutely nowhere to go from here. You cannot achieve anything with no self-esteem. So don't even try.
You can spend years trying to find out the truth, but if the truth is you have no self-worth, just give up.
Forget therapy, it won't work. Ever. Nothing will. You have to have some self-esteem to build on. If you have none, just kill yourself. Sorry, but that's the hard truth.
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Vadim
I literally recognize myself in some of these for sure! But there were different times at which these were manifested and in some cases AFTER a successful dating, especially when someone hurts you and you need to go out and look for a new one. People tend to make even more mistakes on their second attempt, like in sports. After a missed shot, you may lose concentration and miss even more than scoring. Therefore a RED FLAG doesn't mean anything if everyone has them. You just need to know which one of them you'd prefer to live with.
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I literally recognize myself in some of these for sure! But there were different times at which these were manifested and in some cases AFTER a successful dating, especially when someone hurts you and you need to go out and look for a new one. People tend to make even more mistakes on their second attempt, like in sports. After a missed shot, you may lose concentration and miss even more than scoring. Therefore a RED FLAG doesn't mean anything if everyone has them. You just need to know which one of them you'd prefer to live with.
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PikaFunGuy
Time to vent about my day.
This morning i found out the girl i like was dating someone else. I go through my day bummed out, but then i get to band class. As soon as i enter the band room, my band friends say LELAND GET OVER HERE. So i go over and they tell me that the other guy is after me and that i need to back off. It turns out that was all a joke. And the girl was leading me on and flirting with me during the band trip. But i texted her and cleared everything up with her. I hope tomorrow will be better.
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Time to vent about my day.
This morning i found out the girl i like was dating someone else. I go through my day bummed out, but then i get to band class. As soon as i enter the band room, my band friends say LELAND GET OVER HERE. So i go over and they tell me that the other guy is after me and that i need to back off. It turns out that was all a joke. And the girl was leading me on and flirting with me during the band trip. But i texted her and cleared everything up with her. I hope tomorrow will be better.
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Gonalo
Hi Psych2go
I think dating apps dont work. I went there and felt wrong with myselfastim and my pride.
I never liked those apps. Because things need to happen naturally or do talk to someone that is friend or not of the person you saw and liked or not and tell them that you have feelings for that person and they will help you or not.
I always prefer taking time on things and talk to people directly or waiting for nature and the divine to help me.
Thank you.
Have a nice day: )
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Hi Psych2go
I think dating apps dont work. I went there and felt wrong with myselfastim and my pride.
I never liked those apps. Because things need to happen naturally or do talk to someone that is friend or not of the person you saw and liked or not and tell them that you have feelings for that person and they will help you or not.
I always prefer taking time on things and talk to people directly or waiting for nature and the divine to help me.
Thank you.
Have a nice day: )
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Richard
Im a 32yr old gay man who has never been in a relationship. nothing went past the first date until a month ago, when I found this awesome guy (who Im still getting to know) and he as well has never been in a relationship. Seeing this video definitely reassured me about my approach in dating. While Im still trying to figure myself out, dating is a part that I will now begin to understand a bit more about myself and Im excited to see how I and this relationship evolves. Thanks for this video!
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Im a 32yr old gay man who has never been in a relationship. nothing went past the first date until a month ago, when I found this awesome guy (who Im still getting to know) and he as well has never been in a relationship. Seeing this video definitely reassured me about my approach in dating. While Im still trying to figure myself out, dating is a part that I will now begin to understand a bit more about myself and Im excited to see how I and this relationship evolves. Thanks for this video!
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Indrid
For just a somewhat good relationship, you have to return to around 1995. That is just for the last of the good relationships. Since that is not possible, do not even bother to seek amicable or amorous relationships. You will find heartbreak, hardships, loss, broken promises, debt, emotional woe, and possibly lost of property. Spare yourself the needless agony trying to accomplish the unobtainable. Adopt a stoic existence and keep a healthy distance from all.
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For just a somewhat good relationship, you have to return to around 1995. That is just for the last of the good relationships. Since that is not possible, do not even bother to seek amicable or amorous relationships. You will find heartbreak, hardships, loss, broken promises, debt, emotional woe, and possibly lost of property. Spare yourself the needless agony trying to accomplish the unobtainable. Adopt a stoic existence and keep a healthy distance from all.
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Deadly
Timestamps
1. Know yourself 0: 29
2. Go at your own pace 1: 16
3. Think of each step as practice 1: 55
4. Communicate and be honest 2: 42
5. Watch out for red flags 4: 31
5. 1. Criticism 4: 51
5. 2. Defensiveness 5: 06
5. 3. Stonewalling 5: 39
5. 4. Contempt 5: 58
6. Tell someone you know where you are and be aware of your surroundings 7: 02
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. Know yourself 0: 29
2. Go at your own pace 1: 16
3. Think of each step as practice 1: 55
4. Communicate and be honest 2: 42
5. Watch out for red flags 4: 31
5. 1. Criticism 4: 51
5. 2. Defensiveness 5: 06
5. 3. Stonewalling 5: 39
5. 4. Contempt 5: 58
6. Tell someone you know where you are and be aware of your surroundings 7: 02
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Michael
I've faced a few of these red flags before without knowing about it until moments later.
I've dated for over 12 years now (I'm turning 32) and even though I have plenty of fight in me, I feel like no matter what I try to do to improve my situation, none of my hard work bears any fruit. Definitely doesn't help being in the Gay Community, where being shallow and superficial is quite prominent. I just wish I knew what was going wrong.
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I've faced a few of these red flags before without knowing about it until moments later.
I've dated for over 12 years now (I'm turning 32) and even though I have plenty of fight in me, I feel like no matter what I try to do to improve my situation, none of my hard work bears any fruit. Definitely doesn't help being in the Gay Community, where being shallow and superficial is quite prominent. I just wish I knew what was going wrong.
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yamur
i was feeling like if love is real from the beginning then its not gonna fade away. so i was comfortable, i was thinking he loves me so bad, he never gonna give up on me. we were seeing each other once in a month but i was happy. but sadly his love for me was over. so basically for me, just pay attention to the activities, events etc. make time for each other, even if u guys busy. just do your best if u don't want to lose that person.
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i was feeling like if love is real from the beginning then its not gonna fade away. so i was comfortable, i was thinking he loves me so bad, he never gonna give up on me. we were seeing each other once in a month but i was happy. but sadly his love for me was over. so basically for me, just pay attention to the activities, events etc. make time for each other, even if u guys busy. just do your best if u don't want to lose that person.
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Keval
Can you suggest or make a video of explaining how to handle Emotionally weak partner or a partner who get hurt by small things or incidents? I hope you're getting my point please suggest it's been 2 years of our relationship and now I'm not able to handel her emotionally
We often fight, in a week we hardly smile while talking with eachother
There's always an awkward silence between us
Please suggest something
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Can you suggest or make a video of explaining how to handle Emotionally weak partner or a partner who get hurt by small things or incidents? I hope you're getting my point please suggest it's been 2 years of our relationship and now I'm not able to handel her emotionally
We often fight, in a week we hardly smile while talking with eachother
There's always an awkward silence between us
Please suggest something
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Marc
Hello! About communication: I am introvert guy (but I talk when someone talk tome, if a women doesnt talk neither during a date, what should I conclude? I work in Eastern Europe, and women there never smile or take initiative to talk, is their mentality or they are not interested? What is strange, they are very commuicative via sms, but I dont like this method of communication (I was born in the 80's)
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Hello! About communication: I am introvert guy (but I talk when someone talk tome, if a women doesnt talk neither during a date, what should I conclude? I work in Eastern Europe, and women there never smile or take initiative to talk, is their mentality or they are not interested? What is strange, they are very commuicative via sms, but I dont like this method of communication (I was born in the 80's)
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dsmscenester
After being away for a super long time and give no reason.
What if you have never dated before and is now considering dating later in life after several curveballs (health, etc? What is the proper way to answer the question without oversharing?
There are people who want to date, but things like health, unemployment, and life situations get in the way.
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After being away for a super long time and give no reason.
What if you have never dated before and is now considering dating later in life after several curveballs (health, etc? What is the proper way to answer the question without oversharing?
There are people who want to date, but things like health, unemployment, and life situations get in the way.
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Honey&Noodles
THANK YOU. the timing of this video is literally the best
Im in a position which i will possibly confess soon or not, depends on how this girl percieves my signs honestly.
But im kinda scared how things will go i love her a lot and dont wanna hurt her or hurt myself even
Any dating advice? Pls feel free to help me out a bit any comment helps!
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THANK YOU. the timing of this video is literally the best
Im in a position which i will possibly confess soon or not, depends on how this girl percieves my signs honestly.
But im kinda scared how things will go i love her a lot and dont wanna hurt her or hurt myself even
Any dating advice? Pls feel free to help me out a bit any comment helps!
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Downside
I watched this video because Ive never had much luck with dating and when it reached the red flag part I realized that some of those can be me sometimes, I can get very defensive and contempt, and Idk if these are just the traits everyone has a little of and Im looking to much into it or if I need to change. but if I do, How? If Im the problem how do I stop?
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I watched this video because Ive never had much luck with dating and when it reached the red flag part I realized that some of those can be me sometimes, I can get very defensive and contempt, and Idk if these are just the traits everyone has a little of and Im looking to much into it or if I need to change. but if I do, How? If Im the problem how do I stop?
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Tiger
I do know myself so there's that. And we agreed to take things slow. I don't want to rush her. A few hugs, hand holding and a sprinkle of flirting. This is the girlfriend I've had so I'm in for a lot of practice. I don't always get my words out but I think she understands that. I'll have to talk to her about a first date but I'm still nervous
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I do know myself so there's that. And we agreed to take things slow. I don't want to rush her. A few hugs, hand holding and a sprinkle of flirting. This is the girlfriend I've had so I'm in for a lot of practice. I don't always get my words out but I think she understands that. I'll have to talk to her about a first date but I'm still nervous
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Sweet
Since I'm reading those bitter comment from man in their 30ties which never dated, some even haven't kissed a girl once, maybe consider to produce a video about how to get a partner for life? I mean dating is honest and brutal and there are dynamics between man and women that someone who is new to dating has no clue of.
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Since I'm reading those bitter comment from man in their 30ties which never dated, some even haven't kissed a girl once, maybe consider to produce a video about how to get a partner for life? I mean dating is honest and brutal and there are dynamics between man and women that someone who is new to dating has no clue of.
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Astrofrank
Good tips for people who are able to start something like small talk, but I am socially awkward and any date would turn into something that appears strange or creepy to the woman. We could talk about many things in daily life, but a date would result in never talking to each other again.
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Good tips for people who are able to start something like small talk, but I am socially awkward and any date would turn into something that appears strange or creepy to the woman. We could talk about many things in daily life, but a date would result in never talking to each other again.
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Juuchan17
I've never been on a date before (and I'm nearing 40. I know, it's a rarity, so this is very helpful for someone like me that has no idea what to look for or deal with. I hope that these can help me out in perhaps finding that soulmate that I hope is out there! Thank you for making this!
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I've never been on a date before (and I'm nearing 40. I know, it's a rarity, so this is very helpful for someone like me that has no idea what to look for or deal with. I hope that these can help me out in perhaps finding that soulmate that I hope is out there! Thank you for making this!
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Bugsmasherr
Oh no, my bf is definitely doing the stonewalling thing. He says he just doesnt talk so it wont get any worse every time it gets pretty heated. I feel ignored sometimes, but he's good in all other aspects. It's also I who teaches him to say sorry because he doesnt know how
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Oh no, my bf is definitely doing the stonewalling thing. He says he just doesnt talk so it wont get any worse every time it gets pretty heated. I feel ignored sometimes, but he's good in all other aspects. It's also I who teaches him to say sorry because he doesnt know how
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Marc
Thank you for these advices: ) For as an old introvert man, I still don't know how to meet single women.
The problem of dating app, is I dont know who is behind the screen. social events: nobody talk to me and if I go talking to someone, he/she will bully me: (
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Thank you for these advices: ) For as an old introvert man, I still don't know how to meet single women.
The problem of dating app, is I dont know who is behind the screen. social events: nobody talk to me and if I go talking to someone, he/she will bully me: (
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Nobody
Is it possible to have a video like this but for men over 30 who have never dated or had a girlfriend before? Is there actually hope for us or should we just give up? And I dont mean the usual take care of yourself jargon. Actual useful advice.
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Is it possible to have a video like this but for men over 30 who have never dated or had a girlfriend before? Is there actually hope for us or should we just give up? And I dont mean the usual take care of yourself jargon. Actual useful advice.
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