5 Signs It's NOT Real Love, It's Pseudomutuality
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Date: 2024-06-16
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Comments and reviews: 20
allisonjohnson6770
I wasn't raised in a pseudomutuality house hold but it feels like the main groups of people are ones that'll use me until I start to stand up for myself and speak my own opinions. Then they ghost me, unfriend me and everything. And I don't mean to brag when I say this but everyone who has ever talked about me has said I'm the sweetest thing. I just don't get why I'm always left alone to go through the hardest times of my life but I make sure to let people know that they can talk to me about anything. I know I'm a people pleaser but on the same hand I've learned to say no if I need to take time to take care of myself. It just seems like no one my age wants to be friends with me anymore, they just wanna use me and break me. I'm just tired of being the girl who is always alone and lonely no matter what she does. And if I do get any true friends who truly care about me, they're taken away from me and forced out of my life. Any type of advice anyone has that's not to just keep pushing through is greatly appreciated. I've been pushing through almost my whole social life and it only gets worse.
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I wasn't raised in a pseudomutuality house hold but it feels like the main groups of people are ones that'll use me until I start to stand up for myself and speak my own opinions. Then they ghost me, unfriend me and everything. And I don't mean to brag when I say this but everyone who has ever talked about me has said I'm the sweetest thing. I just don't get why I'm always left alone to go through the hardest times of my life but I make sure to let people know that they can talk to me about anything. I know I'm a people pleaser but on the same hand I've learned to say no if I need to take time to take care of myself. It just seems like no one my age wants to be friends with me anymore, they just wanna use me and break me. I'm just tired of being the girl who is always alone and lonely no matter what she does. And if I do get any true friends who truly care about me, they're taken away from me and forced out of my life. Any type of advice anyone has that's not to just keep pushing through is greatly appreciated. I've been pushing through almost my whole social life and it only gets worse.
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user-fc2tj8lf2m
My remaining family loves to tell me about family events after they have happened, or posting pictures of them all together having fun, smiling with me being given no invitation or opportunity to say no thank you. They know i struggle a lot with extreme anxiety, so anytime I ask if i can come visit, they say sure, but then proceed to tell me how many people will be there and never offer a chance to visit when it isn't so busy. My parents died when I was young and the only brother who cared or was close to me died and I'm left with the ones who take pleasure in my suffering, but act as though they care by saying nice things without actually doing anything.
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My remaining family loves to tell me about family events after they have happened, or posting pictures of them all together having fun, smiling with me being given no invitation or opportunity to say no thank you. They know i struggle a lot with extreme anxiety, so anytime I ask if i can come visit, they say sure, but then proceed to tell me how many people will be there and never offer a chance to visit when it isn't so busy. My parents died when I was young and the only brother who cared or was close to me died and I'm left with the ones who take pleasure in my suffering, but act as though they care by saying nice things without actually doing anything.
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Koko-puffles
Normally these sort of videos are things I sorta relate to but this hit WAY too close to home for me. All my life, I've never pursued anything I wanted to do. I did every single sports activity my parents wanted, and even began pursuing a career my dad wanted for me. I grew up without any actual dreams and aspirations. And it was only until fairly recently I realised how screwed up my home life has been and still is. It sucks because all these points apply to me, and I hate it. But I do feel seen.
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Normally these sort of videos are things I sorta relate to but this hit WAY too close to home for me. All my life, I've never pursued anything I wanted to do. I did every single sports activity my parents wanted, and even began pursuing a career my dad wanted for me. I grew up without any actual dreams and aspirations. And it was only until fairly recently I realised how screwed up my home life has been and still is. It sucks because all these points apply to me, and I hate it. But I do feel seen.
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subarulenz1470
I still remember my dad used to forced me to attended guitar classes back in elementary school because he thought I would be a social person if I know how to play guitar but I had no interest so I showed no progress. However, when I get to high school, my friends played rock and I was extremely into it but when he knew me interested in guitar. He kept mocking me about how he used to paid for me to study guitar and I will quit in just a few days.
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I still remember my dad used to forced me to attended guitar classes back in elementary school because he thought I would be a social person if I know how to play guitar but I had no interest so I showed no progress. However, when I get to high school, my friends played rock and I was extremely into it but when he knew me interested in guitar. He kept mocking me about how he used to paid for me to study guitar and I will quit in just a few days.
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ellie_cr
TIL I grew up with pseudomutuality. It makes sense now that when I stopped contacting my parents, I got to figure out myself, and it really did feel cathartic. I had to do that a couple of times in my life to stop feeling like a trapped puppet and make a future I wanted to have. there's hope in my life now & I've got amazing people to support me. I hope everyone who reads this, I wish them, hope, love, and control of their future you got this
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TIL I grew up with pseudomutuality. It makes sense now that when I stopped contacting my parents, I got to figure out myself, and it really did feel cathartic. I had to do that a couple of times in my life to stop feeling like a trapped puppet and make a future I wanted to have. there's hope in my life now & I've got amazing people to support me. I hope everyone who reads this, I wish them, hope, love, and control of their future you got this
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psych2go
I disagree that parents like this don't do it on purpose. They know exactly what they're doing. This is a form of abuse and we need to stop saying abusers' actions aren't on purpose, it's bc [insert reason here]. Yes they are. Hold them accountable. Esp narcissistic people. Every move they make is calculated to make you suffer the maximum amount possible and keep you in line, keep you scared and terrified of disobeying them.
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I disagree that parents like this don't do it on purpose. They know exactly what they're doing. This is a form of abuse and we need to stop saying abusers' actions aren't on purpose, it's bc [insert reason here]. Yes they are. Hold them accountable. Esp narcissistic people. Every move they make is calculated to make you suffer the maximum amount possible and keep you in line, keep you scared and terrified of disobeying them.
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ytandejimmy
Omg woooow, I just learned the term that my mum was using with al of us. she had severe narcissistic traits. how did I dealed with it Tons of therapy and the 12 steps in ACA and treating the wounds of the chidhood, rebirthing, ayahuasca, family constellation, between other stuff. and finally agter 6 heavy years I feel I am recovering. and still learning loads. Thx
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Omg woooow, I just learned the term that my mum was using with al of us. she had severe narcissistic traits. how did I dealed with it Tons of therapy and the 12 steps in ACA and treating the wounds of the chidhood, rebirthing, ayahuasca, family constellation, between other stuff. and finally agter 6 heavy years I feel I am recovering. and still learning loads. Thx
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ArtairMcKinley
This video just helped me learn something new today, definitely going to be researching more into the topic. This also reminds me of Melanie Martinez’s song, Dollhouse.
Pictures, pictures. Smile for the pictures. Pose with your brother, won’t you be a good sister
Everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don’t let them look through the curtains.
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This video just helped me learn something new today, definitely going to be researching more into the topic. This also reminds me of Melanie Martinez’s song, Dollhouse.
Pictures, pictures. Smile for the pictures. Pose with your brother, won’t you be a good sister
Everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don’t let them look through the curtains.
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redheadbelle
This is how I was raised. To heal, it’s crucial cutting all toxic ties, doing therapy, and choosing a loving & supportive environment.
To break the pattern, we have to cut off the past and choose to heal and pursue healthy relationships.
Thank you for educating & raising awareness!
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This is how I was raised. To heal, it’s crucial cutting all toxic ties, doing therapy, and choosing a loving & supportive environment.
To break the pattern, we have to cut off the past and choose to heal and pursue healthy relationships.
Thank you for educating & raising awareness!
reply
None-Too-Subtle
Bingo. I'm adopted, and this nails my mother. She's passed, but my entire life was a struggle with her. She wouldn't acknowledge any of my accomplishments, UNLESS she had an audience of people who didn't know listening. I wish my situation had a haqppy ending, but it hasn't.
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Bingo. I'm adopted, and this nails my mother. She's passed, but my entire life was a struggle with her. She wouldn't acknowledge any of my accomplishments, UNLESS she had an audience of people who didn't know listening. I wish my situation had a haqppy ending, but it hasn't.
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. What is pseudomutuality 0: 40
2. Rigid rules 1: 39
3. You are depersonalised 2: 27
4. String attached 3: 02
5. Adult relationships mirror your family dynamic 4: 06
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. What is pseudomutuality 0: 40
2. Rigid rules 1: 39
3. You are depersonalised 2: 27
4. String attached 3: 02
5. Adult relationships mirror your family dynamic 4: 06
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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hannahking3491
This is an eye opener, especially when I look at my current relationship and my previous, and I can definitely say my current is a real relationship that doesn't make me feel like I need to be or act a certain way to receive happiness or love.
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This is an eye opener, especially when I look at my current relationship and my previous, and I can definitely say my current is a real relationship that doesn't make me feel like I need to be or act a certain way to receive happiness or love.
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psych2go
I'm proud that despite how I was raised, I was able to raise an emotionally stable adult who's done more with his life at 19 than anyone with the last name before him. I'm still messed up, but I never let it affect the people I truly love.
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I'm proud that despite how I was raised, I was able to raise an emotionally stable adult who's done more with his life at 19 than anyone with the last name before him. I'm still messed up, but I never let it affect the people I truly love.
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psych2go
This girl has so much wisdom and self confidence. Aight I'll just say it.
I wanna get to know you and discover the encyclopedia of your first chapter. just to discover each chapter of your personality has its own encyclopedia.
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This girl has so much wisdom and self confidence. Aight I'll just say it.
I wanna get to know you and discover the encyclopedia of your first chapter. just to discover each chapter of your personality has its own encyclopedia.
reply
luke30067
My family is like this I'm currently getting my driver's license to move out without telling them i don't have any friends or anyone so I'm pretty much doing everything myself and it's pretty overwhelming but It'll be worth it
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My family is like this I'm currently getting my driver's license to move out without telling them i don't have any friends or anyone so I'm pretty much doing everything myself and it's pretty overwhelming but It'll be worth it
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joyjones6927
What! Even if I go along to get along I could still end up with anxiety, depression, low self esteem and a empty shell of my true self There’s just no winning with a narcissist! #cepv #IMustWin
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What! Even if I go along to get along I could still end up with anxiety, depression, low self esteem and a empty shell of my true self There’s just no winning with a narcissist! #cepv #IMustWin
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wetwillyis_1881
Because you brought up extreme rules, I'm now wondering what causes overprotective parenting I know it's not directly related to this topic, but it's a rabbit hole I've been sent down.
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Because you brought up extreme rules, I'm now wondering what causes overprotective parenting I know it's not directly related to this topic, but it's a rabbit hole I've been sent down.
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bentosan
I’m the scapegoat. I thought I could at-least get my siblings to wake up and talked about this plus of other stuff nope.
Just leave everyone is easier. It’s not love it’s abuse.
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I’m the scapegoat. I thought I could at-least get my siblings to wake up and talked about this plus of other stuff nope.
Just leave everyone is easier. It’s not love it’s abuse.
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Gracie123
Two that’s what to one girl (or maybe trans nonbinary I can’t remember) to looks tomboyish was going through. The one with the narcissistic parent and she was wearing a red shirt.
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Two that’s what to one girl (or maybe trans nonbinary I can’t remember) to looks tomboyish was going through. The one with the narcissistic parent and she was wearing a red shirt.
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noobzito2
Timestamp!
-0: 41 What is pseudomutuality
-1: 40 Rigid rules
-2: 28 You are depersonalized
-3: 03 String attached
-4: 07 Adult relationships mirror your family dynamic
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Timestamp!
-0: 41 What is pseudomutuality
-1: 40 Rigid rules
-2: 28 You are depersonalized
-3: 03 String attached
-4: 07 Adult relationships mirror your family dynamic
reply
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