Why You've Given Up On Dating
video description
Date: 2024-07-16
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 20
And-lj5gb
I'm in my early thirties and I've never wanted to date. From my childhood I've had a very negative view on dating and relationships. I didn't like how men in my family were treated by their wives. I didn't like the portrayal of relationships in popular culture. It was universally portrayed in TV series in my country that a wife always has to have the last word over her husband and there were many instances of wife using violence against her husband and it being portrayed as something to laugh at. Husbands always had to lie to keep their wives happy because the wives couldn't handle the truth. I have also experienced a lot of girl favouritism as a little boy. It made me lost faith in receiving a fair treatment from the rest of society should I ever find myself in disagreement with a potential girlfriend. The cultural narrative I got of what a man needs to do to in a relationship and what he can expect in return was laughably imbalanced. It's like they all tried to raise us as sckers ready for being willingly exploited and gaslight us to think it's the right thing. It never seemed appealing. It seemed like a relationship is supposed to be a net negative in a man's life.
And then I was a very introverted guy so I've never had the opportunity to meet many girls and get to know someonoe who could help to break these negative notions and stereotypes. Dating has seemed like a chore so I've never fancied to even try it. I've had quite a few girls seeming keen on me in a romantic way during my life but the fear of having to be someone's boyfriend was too much to bear and I've pushed them all away instantly and instinctively. Some of them were pretty attractive and I wish they knew how to be a good friend before demanding the other type of attention but unfortunately it's not something that any of them knew how to do it.
reply
I'm in my early thirties and I've never wanted to date. From my childhood I've had a very negative view on dating and relationships. I didn't like how men in my family were treated by their wives. I didn't like the portrayal of relationships in popular culture. It was universally portrayed in TV series in my country that a wife always has to have the last word over her husband and there were many instances of wife using violence against her husband and it being portrayed as something to laugh at. Husbands always had to lie to keep their wives happy because the wives couldn't handle the truth. I have also experienced a lot of girl favouritism as a little boy. It made me lost faith in receiving a fair treatment from the rest of society should I ever find myself in disagreement with a potential girlfriend. The cultural narrative I got of what a man needs to do to in a relationship and what he can expect in return was laughably imbalanced. It's like they all tried to raise us as sckers ready for being willingly exploited and gaslight us to think it's the right thing. It never seemed appealing. It seemed like a relationship is supposed to be a net negative in a man's life.
And then I was a very introverted guy so I've never had the opportunity to meet many girls and get to know someonoe who could help to break these negative notions and stereotypes. Dating has seemed like a chore so I've never fancied to even try it. I've had quite a few girls seeming keen on me in a romantic way during my life but the fear of having to be someone's boyfriend was too much to bear and I've pushed them all away instantly and instinctively. Some of them were pretty attractive and I wish they knew how to be a good friend before demanding the other type of attention but unfortunately it's not something that any of them knew how to do it.
reply
Auricerise
It gets worse the older you get for a couple of reasons (esp. if you're part of a minority group):
- IRL single and speed dating events, most of these are catered towards people over 40. There's basically nothing for anyone in their late 20s and early 30s.
- Workplaces are basically a no-no.
- Practically impossible to meet available people near your age unless you live in big cities.
- You're stuck with people who aren't looking for anything serious or leftovers (as shitty as I may sound for that. There are people who are single for very good reasons or people basically expect you to be perfect and if you show any sort of flaws, you get dropped immediately. Good luck trying to find a partner with a healthy mindset.
- Instant gratification really ruined dating culture via dating apps.
- And if you're open to online LDRs, that chance is practically gone by the time you hit late 20s. Sadly the male friends I vibed with the best and was into weren't into this (even though one of them did return my feelings to me many years ago.
reply
It gets worse the older you get for a couple of reasons (esp. if you're part of a minority group):
- IRL single and speed dating events, most of these are catered towards people over 40. There's basically nothing for anyone in their late 20s and early 30s.
- Workplaces are basically a no-no.
- Practically impossible to meet available people near your age unless you live in big cities.
- You're stuck with people who aren't looking for anything serious or leftovers (as shitty as I may sound for that. There are people who are single for very good reasons or people basically expect you to be perfect and if you show any sort of flaws, you get dropped immediately. Good luck trying to find a partner with a healthy mindset.
- Instant gratification really ruined dating culture via dating apps.
- And if you're open to online LDRs, that chance is practically gone by the time you hit late 20s. Sadly the male friends I vibed with the best and was into weren't into this (even though one of them did return my feelings to me many years ago.
reply
rogerr. 7228
This definitely me. 28 years old, going on 29 in November. I tried finding a loving partner for almost 13 years and no success. Don't know how, but somehow I'm almost always falling for people who are already taken and a lot of the girls I've asked I didn't even know were in a relationship until the moment I asked due to never seeing them with their partner, never hearing them talk about their partner, nor seeing them wearing an engagement or wedding ring on their ring finger. Also it seems there's no woman out there I have interest in romantically likes me back. Vice-versa is the same. I feel like every girl who does have romantic interest in me always happens to be someone I'm unfortunately not that into. So yeah. I gave up. Only thing I'm really doing about it now is praying for a miracle.
reply
This definitely me. 28 years old, going on 29 in November. I tried finding a loving partner for almost 13 years and no success. Don't know how, but somehow I'm almost always falling for people who are already taken and a lot of the girls I've asked I didn't even know were in a relationship until the moment I asked due to never seeing them with their partner, never hearing them talk about their partner, nor seeing them wearing an engagement or wedding ring on their ring finger. Also it seems there's no woman out there I have interest in romantically likes me back. Vice-versa is the same. I feel like every girl who does have romantic interest in me always happens to be someone I'm unfortunately not that into. So yeah. I gave up. Only thing I'm really doing about it now is praying for a miracle.
reply
TzoKu
Dating is learning, learning what you want and don't. Setting boundaries, standards and building trust. It's not about finding someone that'll go on fun adventures with you(sure dating can be a part of that but not entirely. But it's about finding someone that'll go through all the struggles with you, arguments, misunderstandings, nights where you don't talk, or the times it feels like its all over. And yet still stick with you to learn, build and establish an actual long lasting relationship, where it isn't about the gifts, lavish dates or other stuff. But the love and comfort you both share, the trust and bond you built by being through thick and thin and still making ends meet.
reply
Dating is learning, learning what you want and don't. Setting boundaries, standards and building trust. It's not about finding someone that'll go on fun adventures with you(sure dating can be a part of that but not entirely. But it's about finding someone that'll go through all the struggles with you, arguments, misunderstandings, nights where you don't talk, or the times it feels like its all over. And yet still stick with you to learn, build and establish an actual long lasting relationship, where it isn't about the gifts, lavish dates or other stuff. But the love and comfort you both share, the trust and bond you built by being through thick and thin and still making ends meet.
reply
notayoutuber09
Men gave up because women have too much options and dont give them the time of day, or one minor mistake and he gets ghosted forever, or shes just a miserable, non communicative, combative, disrespectful, masculine female. (Im sure there are men that fit jnto this too) Meanwhile for women: theyre all going for looks and materialism, dealing with bad boys who just use them while they ghost and swipe left on all the good men saying all men are pigs, where are all the good men Mid women dont give mid men the time of day and then only expect the top tier men. Thats dating in todays world in a nut shell.
reply
Men gave up because women have too much options and dont give them the time of day, or one minor mistake and he gets ghosted forever, or shes just a miserable, non communicative, combative, disrespectful, masculine female. (Im sure there are men that fit jnto this too) Meanwhile for women: theyre all going for looks and materialism, dealing with bad boys who just use them while they ghost and swipe left on all the good men saying all men are pigs, where are all the good men Mid women dont give mid men the time of day and then only expect the top tier men. Thats dating in todays world in a nut shell.
reply
S4ito_DnZ.
I was at a point where i gave up completely, but nowadays i don't feel like that, i still have some hope, maybe one day I'll find someone, someone who i will feel like its not a waste of time and it isn't leading me on and fooling me into thinking i have a chance, when i really don't. Although i feel pretty lonely, im not helpless, im not desperate, its something i want, i want a relationship, but i don't need one, i can live alone no problem, but I want someone by my side, so maybe one day we all will find that someone, it just takes time thats all.
reply
I was at a point where i gave up completely, but nowadays i don't feel like that, i still have some hope, maybe one day I'll find someone, someone who i will feel like its not a waste of time and it isn't leading me on and fooling me into thinking i have a chance, when i really don't. Although i feel pretty lonely, im not helpless, im not desperate, its something i want, i want a relationship, but i don't need one, i can live alone no problem, but I want someone by my side, so maybe one day we all will find that someone, it just takes time thats all.
reply
ip1136
To me, giving up on dating was one of the most freeing things I've ever done for myself in my whole entire life.
When I let go of all that hope and refused to not focus entirely on myself, I found that I have been much more stable and happier, calmer.
My life is so much more peaceful without dating and I spend time on things that actually lead to something and feel rewarding.
My efforts finally pay off, which was never the case in dating.
I am thankful I threw in the towel. And believe me, I am not keen on picking it back up again, EVER.
reply
To me, giving up on dating was one of the most freeing things I've ever done for myself in my whole entire life.
When I let go of all that hope and refused to not focus entirely on myself, I found that I have been much more stable and happier, calmer.
My life is so much more peaceful without dating and I spend time on things that actually lead to something and feel rewarding.
My efforts finally pay off, which was never the case in dating.
I am thankful I threw in the towel. And believe me, I am not keen on picking it back up again, EVER.
reply
EBThisThat
I'm 44, 4 years single and I am someone who has disorganized attachment. I like someone at work but can't ask them out due to company protocol but I'm figuring that I actually may be too broken for a relationship even though I desperately want one. I am someone who loves deeply but I don't want to be a burden to anyone else, and I certainly don't want to hurt anyone. So I'm sorting through whether I think I should just remain single or jump into the dating realm again. It's very irritating.
reply
I'm 44, 4 years single and I am someone who has disorganized attachment. I like someone at work but can't ask them out due to company protocol but I'm figuring that I actually may be too broken for a relationship even though I desperately want one. I am someone who loves deeply but I don't want to be a burden to anyone else, and I certainly don't want to hurt anyone. So I'm sorting through whether I think I should just remain single or jump into the dating realm again. It's very irritating.
reply
Xiviuz
Easier for people to go next and look for the greener grass with social media in their hands. A lot of people also don't realize they've made this ideal fantasy relationship in their heads which is impossible to meet in real life. So when people can't be comfortable nonstop and it doesn't meet their ideal fantasy, no matter what the compromises are it becomes too much of an effort to work for.
Just remember guys, you're more than good enough and don't forget to love yourselves. You're valuable
reply
Easier for people to go next and look for the greener grass with social media in their hands. A lot of people also don't realize they've made this ideal fantasy relationship in their heads which is impossible to meet in real life. So when people can't be comfortable nonstop and it doesn't meet their ideal fantasy, no matter what the compromises are it becomes too much of an effort to work for.
Just remember guys, you're more than good enough and don't forget to love yourselves. You're valuable
reply
IQUY5707
Tbh I genuinely seem to have no choice but to give up, and I actually do work on myself. Went to the gym consistently and lost weight, went to therapy healing past traumas, made bank and quit my job now back to a student on a subject that I'm passionate for. The only thing I cant do is approaching a lady coz thats relatively frowned upon and ignored where I'm living now, so I tried going to events and all that yet there is just no luck. idk mannn now this is just getting distracting
reply
Tbh I genuinely seem to have no choice but to give up, and I actually do work on myself. Went to the gym consistently and lost weight, went to therapy healing past traumas, made bank and quit my job now back to a student on a subject that I'm passionate for. The only thing I cant do is approaching a lady coz thats relatively frowned upon and ignored where I'm living now, so I tried going to events and all that yet there is just no luck. idk mannn now this is just getting distracting
reply
ShatteredRebel
After my last situation, I've just had enough of all the games and shenanigans. I had even said it myself that after the next bs, im done. It's been a little over a year, and I'm staying true to my word.
Every woman I have ever met only wanted to use me, whether it's for money, to be a rebound. Hell, the last situation was both. It's exhausting. People will tell you anything until they get what they want from you. I don't even think real love exists anymore.
reply
After my last situation, I've just had enough of all the games and shenanigans. I had even said it myself that after the next bs, im done. It's been a little over a year, and I'm staying true to my word.
Every woman I have ever met only wanted to use me, whether it's for money, to be a rebound. Hell, the last situation was both. It's exhausting. People will tell you anything until they get what they want from you. I don't even think real love exists anymore.
reply
psych2go
Dating apps are the single worst way to find a date if your an average guy. I never got matched so I thought I got rejected by every single person in my state. I felt so defeated and despair infested my thoughts to the point where I needed therapy to recover.
It was soon after therapy I discovered dating apps don't treat all people as equal. The more you like the more desperate you are and will never get matched cuz your account is never shown to people.
reply
Dating apps are the single worst way to find a date if your an average guy. I never got matched so I thought I got rejected by every single person in my state. I felt so defeated and despair infested my thoughts to the point where I needed therapy to recover.
It was soon after therapy I discovered dating apps don't treat all people as equal. The more you like the more desperate you are and will never get matched cuz your account is never shown to people.
reply
nickthepick8043
The focus on dating is appreciated. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a challenge for me too, but I think one can benefit from being a alone for a bit. It opens yourself up to reflection. Important stuff going forward with a relationship in the future, since you'll have refreshed perspective on what you're looking for in terms of values, morals, and compatibility. The last part about emotional baggage fits with this.
reply
The focus on dating is appreciated. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a challenge for me too, but I think one can benefit from being a alone for a bit. It opens yourself up to reflection. Important stuff going forward with a relationship in the future, since you'll have refreshed perspective on what you're looking for in terms of values, morals, and compatibility. The last part about emotional baggage fits with this.
reply
hutek96
It is very disappointing to see that in today's time very few people are ready for the unpleasant talks. You try to communicate with them, telling them how you feel and what you think but as soon as it is about important stuff that isn't pleasant to talk about, they just turn around and disappear because i want to have fun, I want to have it easy. The throw-away society.
reply
It is very disappointing to see that in today's time very few people are ready for the unpleasant talks. You try to communicate with them, telling them how you feel and what you think but as soon as it is about important stuff that isn't pleasant to talk about, they just turn around and disappear because i want to have fun, I want to have it easy. The throw-away society.
reply
MrAlexH1991
The worst part is how we no longer give each other space to be human and flawed without psychoanalysis or imagining that the person we’re dating MUST be a narcissist because of any and all flaws in personality or decision making we see from them. Social media has conditioned us to accept NOTHING LESS than a PERFECT person, and that’s just not gonna happen.
reply
The worst part is how we no longer give each other space to be human and flawed without psychoanalysis or imagining that the person we’re dating MUST be a narcissist because of any and all flaws in personality or decision making we see from them. Social media has conditioned us to accept NOTHING LESS than a PERFECT person, and that’s just not gonna happen.
reply
justoniascool9410
I feel like for a lot of people it's just because it seems like more work than it's worth, it takes up a lot of time that could be spent progressing your career, doing schooling, or pursuing personal interests. I know it's the most fulfilling thing you can do there's just too many things that can go wrong that it's intimidating.
reply
I feel like for a lot of people it's just because it seems like more work than it's worth, it takes up a lot of time that could be spent progressing your career, doing schooling, or pursuing personal interests. I know it's the most fulfilling thing you can do there's just too many things that can go wrong that it's intimidating.
reply
uifwastaken
I felt called out by the title of this video, totally not having a crush on this girl from my chess tournament and it's the last round tomorrow, my last chance to talk to her lol but I'm not sure I feel quite ready, like, maybe I'd rather just focus on feeling well for now and find someone to kms over later: )
reply
I felt called out by the title of this video, totally not having a crush on this girl from my chess tournament and it's the last round tomorrow, my last chance to talk to her lol but I'm not sure I feel quite ready, like, maybe I'd rather just focus on feeling well for now and find someone to kms over later: )
reply
justinholliday9979
Personally, my biggest problem is actually getting a date. I don't remember the last time I actually got a match on a dating app and living in small towns, finding a date is difficult as I either know everyone, the ones I'm interested in have a SO, or their all too old or young.
reply
Personally, my biggest problem is actually getting a date. I don't remember the last time I actually got a match on a dating app and living in small towns, finding a date is difficult as I either know everyone, the ones I'm interested in have a SO, or their all too old or young.
reply
beamcore1410
27 next monthnever had a gfnever been on a datenever had a girl even remotely interested in mebeen on dating apps for about a year with a total of 0 matchesI’m not into sports or cars or other normal guy things and I’m a 3/10 at bestI’ve given up on ever finding happiness
reply
27 next monthnever had a gfnever been on a datenever had a girl even remotely interested in mebeen on dating apps for about a year with a total of 0 matchesI’m not into sports or cars or other normal guy things and I’m a 3/10 at bestI’ve given up on ever finding happiness
reply
mynursekel7958
My handicapped kid (young adult) gets attached and then he would leave and not communicate with the kid again.
Yeah. Don’t need this crap.
No bf is better than needy drama and those that don’t actually know what commitment or communication is.
reply
My handicapped kid (young adult) gets attached and then he would leave and not communicate with the kid again.
Yeah. Don’t need this crap.
No bf is better than needy drama and those that don’t actually know what commitment or communication is.
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
