6 Things To Say When Someone's In Pain
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 25
Johanowitz
Comforting someone can be a meaningful and compassionate gesture. Here are some steps you can follow to provide comfort to someone in need:
Listen attentively: Give the person your undivided attention. Maintain eye contact, nod, and use verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are actively engaged in listening. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption.
Offer empathy: Show understanding and empathy for what the person is going through. Acknowledge their emotions and let them know that their feelings are valid. Phrases like I understand how difficult this must be for you or It's okay to feel upset right now can convey empathy.
Provide reassurance: Reassure the person that they are not alone and that you are there to support them. Let them know that you care about their well-being and that they can rely on you. Offer words of encouragement and remind them of their strengths and resilience.
Avoid minimizing or dismissing their feelings: It's important to avoid saying things like Don't worry, it's not a big deal or Just get over it. Such statements can invalidate their emotions and make them feel unheard. Instead, validate their feelings and show that you take them seriously.
Be patient and non-judgmental: Everyone processes emotions differently, so it's important to be patient with the person. Avoid passing judgment or offering unsolicited advice unless they specifically ask for it. Sometimes, simply being present and supportive can be more comforting than offering solutions.
Physical presence and touch (if appropriate): Physical touch, such as a gentle hug or holding their hand, can provide comfort to some individuals. However, it's essential to consider their comfort level and the nature of your relationship before initiating any physical contact. Respect personal boundaries.
Offer practical support: Depending on the situation, you may be able to provide practical assistance. This could involve helping with chores, offering to run errands, or providing information or resources related to their situation. Offering concrete support can alleviate some of their burdens and show that you care.
Follow-up and check-in: After the initial conversation, continue to check in on the person periodically. Let them know that you are there for them in the long run. Offer ongoing support, be available to listen, and remind them that they are not alone.
Remember, each person is unique, and different situations may require different approaches. Pay attention to the individual's needs and adapt your comforting style accordingly.
reply
Comforting someone can be a meaningful and compassionate gesture. Here are some steps you can follow to provide comfort to someone in need:
Listen attentively: Give the person your undivided attention. Maintain eye contact, nod, and use verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you are actively engaged in listening. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption.
Offer empathy: Show understanding and empathy for what the person is going through. Acknowledge their emotions and let them know that their feelings are valid. Phrases like I understand how difficult this must be for you or It's okay to feel upset right now can convey empathy.
Provide reassurance: Reassure the person that they are not alone and that you are there to support them. Let them know that you care about their well-being and that they can rely on you. Offer words of encouragement and remind them of their strengths and resilience.
Avoid minimizing or dismissing their feelings: It's important to avoid saying things like Don't worry, it's not a big deal or Just get over it. Such statements can invalidate their emotions and make them feel unheard. Instead, validate their feelings and show that you take them seriously.
Be patient and non-judgmental: Everyone processes emotions differently, so it's important to be patient with the person. Avoid passing judgment or offering unsolicited advice unless they specifically ask for it. Sometimes, simply being present and supportive can be more comforting than offering solutions.
Physical presence and touch (if appropriate): Physical touch, such as a gentle hug or holding their hand, can provide comfort to some individuals. However, it's essential to consider their comfort level and the nature of your relationship before initiating any physical contact. Respect personal boundaries.
Offer practical support: Depending on the situation, you may be able to provide practical assistance. This could involve helping with chores, offering to run errands, or providing information or resources related to their situation. Offering concrete support can alleviate some of their burdens and show that you care.
Follow-up and check-in: After the initial conversation, continue to check in on the person periodically. Let them know that you are there for them in the long run. Offer ongoing support, be available to listen, and remind them that they are not alone.
Remember, each person is unique, and different situations may require different approaches. Pay attention to the individual's needs and adapt your comforting style accordingly.
reply
ADRIAN
Warning: long text.
So, I have this friend that is real far apart. We just can't hang out. But I talk every single day with her.
From time to time, I give her what I call thoughts documentary. I just get my phone, try to think in a topic and drop out every single word that pops up in my head, no matter how bad it sounds.
Doing this has seriously helped me, and I have discovered issues in me that I wouldn't have if she wasn't there to hear. And after all of my big confession, she is always saying something that cheers me up, either a compliment that feels honest, a virtual-hug or something else.
The other day, she was the one struggling. So I knew I had to return the favor. I tried to cheer her up, or to make she talk to me without making her feel forced. But I couldn't. She said that she'd need one entire hour to type it and I won't understand. I tried to convince her to at least _try_, but she refused.
I feel really bad. She said she wanted to talk about it, but she found it important that I understood her. And she was forcing herself into thinking I can't.
I feel really bad. She is better now, but I feel bad because I couldn't support her when she needed it. She is always giving me support and it makes me feel bad and useless. I want her to be alright, and to tell me what she's worried about.
Just the fact that I couldn't help her makes me think it will be harder to help her in the future.
reply
Warning: long text.
So, I have this friend that is real far apart. We just can't hang out. But I talk every single day with her.
From time to time, I give her what I call thoughts documentary. I just get my phone, try to think in a topic and drop out every single word that pops up in my head, no matter how bad it sounds.
Doing this has seriously helped me, and I have discovered issues in me that I wouldn't have if she wasn't there to hear. And after all of my big confession, she is always saying something that cheers me up, either a compliment that feels honest, a virtual-hug or something else.
The other day, she was the one struggling. So I knew I had to return the favor. I tried to cheer her up, or to make she talk to me without making her feel forced. But I couldn't. She said that she'd need one entire hour to type it and I won't understand. I tried to convince her to at least _try_, but she refused.
I feel really bad. She said she wanted to talk about it, but she found it important that I understood her. And she was forcing herself into thinking I can't.
I feel really bad. She is better now, but I feel bad because I couldn't support her when she needed it. She is always giving me support and it makes me feel bad and useless. I want her to be alright, and to tell me what she's worried about.
Just the fact that I couldn't help her makes me think it will be harder to help her in the future.
reply
Lylas
Story: So today I THINK I HAD ANXIETY. So today at recess, I was just crying on the swings because I was sad and anxious. After like three minutes on the swing I went to my teacher. When I came to my teacher, I was crying and she said Awww whats wrong? and I said Im sad. And she said do you want to go talk about it in the classroom? I was just like, yes please. And she was like ok, lets go to the classroom. When we came to the classroom. She came to my desk and she said, so whats wrong? And I said I am anxious, sad, worried, and upset. She was like Awww Im here for you. I was really speechless trying to say those words and she was like, I am here to listen to you. After I told her that she was like, is there anything I could do to help you, and I said, I dont know. And she was like dont worry I understand. After we were done talking, I walked up to her and gave her a tight hug because she made me feel better.
I can agree that if youre sad, worried upset or anything, go hug someone that you know that cares about you and tell them whats wrong. Thats also just in my opinion.
reply
Story: So today I THINK I HAD ANXIETY. So today at recess, I was just crying on the swings because I was sad and anxious. After like three minutes on the swing I went to my teacher. When I came to my teacher, I was crying and she said Awww whats wrong? and I said Im sad. And she said do you want to go talk about it in the classroom? I was just like, yes please. And she was like ok, lets go to the classroom. When we came to the classroom. She came to my desk and she said, so whats wrong? And I said I am anxious, sad, worried, and upset. She was like Awww Im here for you. I was really speechless trying to say those words and she was like, I am here to listen to you. After I told her that she was like, is there anything I could do to help you, and I said, I dont know. And she was like dont worry I understand. After we were done talking, I walked up to her and gave her a tight hug because she made me feel better.
I can agree that if youre sad, worried upset or anything, go hug someone that you know that cares about you and tell them whats wrong. Thats also just in my opinion.
reply
John
I have a question: how do you cheer an insecure person up if everything they say about themself is _true? _ My neighbor feels like a loser and was expressing his self-doubt and pain. But The thing is. everything he said was completely right. He has a learning disability and ASD; he's a very slow learner; he can't drive; he's lived with his mom for 27 years and has never moved out; he went to a small charter school instead of the superior local public high school; he graduated at 20, not 18; he depends on others to do tasks right; he can't manage things alone very well; his boss won't let him work shifts alone, without someone to guide him. I don't see his skills or potential. So. I don't know what to tell him. I actually agree that the people around him (and many more, of course) are better. He. actually _is_ less/lesser, as far as I'm concerned. So yeah. what do you say to someone when their pain and insecurities are part of the truth and aren't exaggerated? I don't know what to tell this guy, so I didn't say anything when he talked about how weak and inferior he was.
reply
I have a question: how do you cheer an insecure person up if everything they say about themself is _true? _ My neighbor feels like a loser and was expressing his self-doubt and pain. But The thing is. everything he said was completely right. He has a learning disability and ASD; he's a very slow learner; he can't drive; he's lived with his mom for 27 years and has never moved out; he went to a small charter school instead of the superior local public high school; he graduated at 20, not 18; he depends on others to do tasks right; he can't manage things alone very well; his boss won't let him work shifts alone, without someone to guide him. I don't see his skills or potential. So. I don't know what to tell him. I actually agree that the people around him (and many more, of course) are better. He. actually _is_ less/lesser, as far as I'm concerned. So yeah. what do you say to someone when their pain and insecurities are part of the truth and aren't exaggerated? I don't know what to tell this guy, so I didn't say anything when he talked about how weak and inferior he was.
reply
May
Ive noticed a lot of my friends have been stressed lately and are having breakdowns, it depends on the person Im with and how I help them/listen to them, now recently one of my friends had a breakdown about something Id rather not talk about and she was crying. I didnt know how to help her cause Ive never been in a situation like this with her before, I tired my best on how to comfort her like I do my other friends but I felt like I didnt do anything to help or make her feel a bit better. I asked a bit of questions to get an understanding and asked if she need water or a hug, I rubbed her back cause ik most ppl like that, I asked people to leave us alone whenever someone came to figure out she was upset but I feel that I didnt help cause it felt rlly awkward, I tried to make her laugh a bit to lighten the mood but I feel that I talked a bit more than I should have. Anyone have anything that could help me please?
reply
Ive noticed a lot of my friends have been stressed lately and are having breakdowns, it depends on the person Im with and how I help them/listen to them, now recently one of my friends had a breakdown about something Id rather not talk about and she was crying. I didnt know how to help her cause Ive never been in a situation like this with her before, I tired my best on how to comfort her like I do my other friends but I felt like I didnt do anything to help or make her feel a bit better. I asked a bit of questions to get an understanding and asked if she need water or a hug, I rubbed her back cause ik most ppl like that, I asked people to leave us alone whenever someone came to figure out she was upset but I feel that I didnt help cause it felt rlly awkward, I tried to make her laugh a bit to lighten the mood but I feel that I talked a bit more than I should have. Anyone have anything that could help me please?
reply
KidsTh3s3Days
What if that person doesn't want to talk about it? How can I help them? Earlier I have a friend that was having a hard time dealing with their anger. their upset and broken at that time. they also said that they dont want to talk about it. I said that I'm there for them and i try to keep them in company. I ask them what can I do and how can I help. they replied idk. i give them advices that they can do and I told them try to take their time to calm down. one of my advices didn't work for them. They said that why can't I try to make them happy. I ask what are the things that make them cheer up. but it ends in a different way. They said i didn't help at all. but i tried. that person has helped me a lot and I asked myself that why can't I repay them.
reply
What if that person doesn't want to talk about it? How can I help them? Earlier I have a friend that was having a hard time dealing with their anger. their upset and broken at that time. they also said that they dont want to talk about it. I said that I'm there for them and i try to keep them in company. I ask them what can I do and how can I help. they replied idk. i give them advices that they can do and I told them try to take their time to calm down. one of my advices didn't work for them. They said that why can't I try to make them happy. I ask what are the things that make them cheer up. but it ends in a different way. They said i didn't help at all. but i tried. that person has helped me a lot and I asked myself that why can't I repay them.
reply
Oopy
I always use these, but after watching this video I realize why I don't like to talk about my feelings. No one says or does these things when I need them because they don't understand. I know the importance of using these very simple things to help someone because I wish I could be treated like this. I am like my own therapist until I find someone-ANYone who can help. I've become quite good at therapy now, so maybe I could make a living at it. Another tip I have isn't something you SHOULD say, it's something you SHOULDN'T. One thing to never say to someone in pain is it's fine or it's going to be fine or someone is going through worse. It feels like being stabbed in the heart to hear that when you're down. I hope this helps. Have a great day
reply
I always use these, but after watching this video I realize why I don't like to talk about my feelings. No one says or does these things when I need them because they don't understand. I know the importance of using these very simple things to help someone because I wish I could be treated like this. I am like my own therapist until I find someone-ANYone who can help. I've become quite good at therapy now, so maybe I could make a living at it. Another tip I have isn't something you SHOULD say, it's something you SHOULDN'T. One thing to never say to someone in pain is it's fine or it's going to be fine or someone is going through worse. It feels like being stabbed in the heart to hear that when you're down. I hope this helps. Have a great day
reply
Elii!
As a person who struggles with comforting others this helped me a lot, especially right now because I'm trying to help my friend, whos sister tried to c0mm! t s_! cide. however her attempt failed and now as she is in the hospital because of this, my friend is really stressed because his family may not be able to afford the hospital bills, and he's trying to find a better paying job so he can help her, as he doesn't want to loose her, this is also extremely hard for me as he is one of my closest friends, the hardest thing is having to sit here knowing there's nothing I can do to help besides try and give him words of encouragement because of the fact that we live half a country away.
reply
As a person who struggles with comforting others this helped me a lot, especially right now because I'm trying to help my friend, whos sister tried to c0mm! t s_! cide. however her attempt failed and now as she is in the hospital because of this, my friend is really stressed because his family may not be able to afford the hospital bills, and he's trying to find a better paying job so he can help her, as he doesn't want to loose her, this is also extremely hard for me as he is one of my closest friends, the hardest thing is having to sit here knowing there's nothing I can do to help besides try and give him words of encouragement because of the fact that we live half a country away.
reply
Kyndel
What if i dont feel like i know what i need? Im trying to help my girlfriend support me, but im autistic and we communicate vastly differently. She often says what can i do to help, and it makes me feel worse because im usually not sure what i need to feel better. She also says im sorry a lot. For me, this is confusing and feels disingenuous. I have an extremely difficult time expressing how im feeling and what i need because its often outside of my own understanding. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rock being my emotions and the hard place being my own inability to determine how i feel and what i need.
reply
What if i dont feel like i know what i need? Im trying to help my girlfriend support me, but im autistic and we communicate vastly differently. She often says what can i do to help, and it makes me feel worse because im usually not sure what i need to feel better. She also says im sorry a lot. For me, this is confusing and feels disingenuous. I have an extremely difficult time expressing how im feeling and what i need because its often outside of my own understanding. I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rock being my emotions and the hard place being my own inability to determine how i feel and what i need.
reply
Crystl
My girlfriend was in pain but when I went to her and hugged her, I sang to her its not fair to be alone, after what youve been through and Ill always ease your pain, Ill always stay with you! Ill continue to reach out, Ill never abandon you, determination fuels me, Ill always be with you and her eyes lightened up and she started crying because those exact words reminded her of her big brother before he passed away and when she felt better, she said thank you for being with me, Carlos. That meant a lot to me and if your suffering the same thing as me, Ill always be with you too no matter what happens
reply
My girlfriend was in pain but when I went to her and hugged her, I sang to her its not fair to be alone, after what youve been through and Ill always ease your pain, Ill always stay with you! Ill continue to reach out, Ill never abandon you, determination fuels me, Ill always be with you and her eyes lightened up and she started crying because those exact words reminded her of her big brother before he passed away and when she felt better, she said thank you for being with me, Carlos. That meant a lot to me and if your suffering the same thing as me, Ill always be with you too no matter what happens
reply
Rin
haha I always say lmfao but it doesn't mean I'm happy
everyone left me. I thought they will help me survive this hell hole but instead replaced me. the one I love found someone better, my friends changed. I comfort people, I help people complete their wish, I help people at the darkest time, I make people feel like they are the number 1, the main character, And a someone. but who helps me if I am in the darkest time? they left me in this hell hole, they found someone better, when they told you they love you but found someone better than you? what a lie. I am alone in this life.
reply
haha I always say lmfao but it doesn't mean I'm happy
everyone left me. I thought they will help me survive this hell hole but instead replaced me. the one I love found someone better, my friends changed. I comfort people, I help people complete their wish, I help people at the darkest time, I make people feel like they are the number 1, the main character, And a someone. but who helps me if I am in the darkest time? they left me in this hell hole, they found someone better, when they told you they love you but found someone better than you? what a lie. I am alone in this life.
reply
Marchosias
How would you guys help someone that doesn't wanna go out or do anything anymore besides sleeping? My friend is so stressed from work that when he gets home he doesn't wanna do anything anymore, which I really get but he doesn't want it to be that way. He already told me that it helps him when i'm with him over the weekend and cuddling him or even just constantly texting helps him or else he would isolate completely, but it is getting worse, I really wanna help him does anyone know what to do in this situation?
reply
How would you guys help someone that doesn't wanna go out or do anything anymore besides sleeping? My friend is so stressed from work that when he gets home he doesn't wanna do anything anymore, which I really get but he doesn't want it to be that way. He already told me that it helps him when i'm with him over the weekend and cuddling him or even just constantly texting helps him or else he would isolate completely, but it is getting worse, I really wanna help him does anyone know what to do in this situation?
reply
Nerf
I feel so bad for my family Im always so negative about my situation when something is not going my way or smth is not going well in my life I complain so much and my family does their best to help me and I push it away kinda and always cry and now I feel bad to cause I act like Im such a victim and I just make things harder for my family. I wish I just wouldnt give up so easily I just notice I always choose the wrong way In my life I hope my family really knows without them I would be nothing
reply
I feel so bad for my family Im always so negative about my situation when something is not going my way or smth is not going well in my life I complain so much and my family does their best to help me and I push it away kinda and always cry and now I feel bad to cause I act like Im such a victim and I just make things harder for my family. I wish I just wouldnt give up so easily I just notice I always choose the wrong way In my life I hope my family really knows without them I would be nothing
reply
No
I remember my friend who's a medical psychologist saying almost all of these to me. And I'm happy that he can be of a great friend of mine!
I want to learn more of these because I think I'm inspired by him since he told me some ways in psychology, like an overview about graphology, and how they diagnose someone with mental health problems, and others.
Thank you for this Ma'am!
You psychologists are all amazing!
reply
I remember my friend who's a medical psychologist saying almost all of these to me. And I'm happy that he can be of a great friend of mine!
I want to learn more of these because I think I'm inspired by him since he told me some ways in psychology, like an overview about graphology, and how they diagnose someone with mental health problems, and others.
Thank you for this Ma'am!
You psychologists are all amazing!
reply
Lil
My cousin and I are really close but shes going through a lot at home right now and Im really bad with how I should feel or do in situations and my coping is making jokes but I feel like she thinks i dont care enough and it makes me tear up thinking about it and she might have to move and a lot is going on but I feel like Im not doing enough and I dont do much and Im scared for her I dont know what to do
reply
My cousin and I are really close but shes going through a lot at home right now and Im really bad with how I should feel or do in situations and my coping is making jokes but I feel like she thinks i dont care enough and it makes me tear up thinking about it and she might have to move and a lot is going on but I feel like Im not doing enough and I dont do much and Im scared for her I dont know what to do
reply
Yuzziixx
Omg PHEWHHH TY SOO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS VID because just recently I wanted to help a friend hurting but have bo idea how because I'm not gonna lie kinda immature even she was shocked I was kinda mature wanting to help her but yea ty SOO much because she wants to go through a call instead of a text which makes sense but I would've been dead without this video probably
reply
Omg PHEWHHH TY SOO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS VID because just recently I wanted to help a friend hurting but have bo idea how because I'm not gonna lie kinda immature even she was shocked I was kinda mature wanting to help her but yea ty SOO much because she wants to go through a call instead of a text which makes sense but I would've been dead without this video probably
reply
aDm
My experience and what I red people say. Be emotionally isolated neglected no details. People say they try to talk and help shy or lonely kid. My experience. If they see someone hurt and down they make him feel down even more. So yeah I don't trust people. I mean animals since people didn't seem to exist in my life apart from few people I'm grateful to
reply
My experience and what I red people say. Be emotionally isolated neglected no details. People say they try to talk and help shy or lonely kid. My experience. If they see someone hurt and down they make him feel down even more. So yeah I don't trust people. I mean animals since people didn't seem to exist in my life apart from few people I'm grateful to
reply
Justin
I want to make sure my college is an enjoyable experience. Why is it that people are always mean to me. I want a breakthrough. I love being with people. My heart is really broken. Why is it that in the beginning people are really unfriendly. They say my name in an annoying way. Girls are becoming toxic. I want people to love me. They are annoying
reply
I want to make sure my college is an enjoyable experience. Why is it that people are always mean to me. I want a breakthrough. I love being with people. My heart is really broken. Why is it that in the beginning people are really unfriendly. They say my name in an annoying way. Girls are becoming toxic. I want people to love me. They are annoying
reply
Yusi. 08_
Nowadays, I feel like many people around me has been going through a lot. And I am the one who is always left to comfort a person. But then I really dont know how to comfort them. So i hope that now onwards, I will be helpful to them instead of just standing there awkwardly.
reply
Nowadays, I feel like many people around me has been going through a lot. And I am the one who is always left to comfort a person. But then I really dont know how to comfort them. So i hope that now onwards, I will be helpful to them instead of just standing there awkwardly.
reply
education
My friend used to be strong she only used to talk about her family issues to me and then she recovered by herself but now she seems so down that idk what to do. I want to cheer her up but i think it's useless and i'm afraid it will let her feel worse than before.
reply
My friend used to be strong she only used to talk about her family issues to me and then she recovered by herself but now she seems so down that idk what to do. I want to cheer her up but i think it's useless and i'm afraid it will let her feel worse than before.
reply
Heaven
My sister has been severely struggling and I am so dedicated to helping her and making sure she feels happy and loved that it is starting to affect my own mental heath. I am too empathetic to the point that it hurts me when she is sad. I'm not really sure what to do
reply
My sister has been severely struggling and I am so dedicated to helping her and making sure she feels happy and loved that it is starting to affect my own mental heath. I am too empathetic to the point that it hurts me when she is sad. I'm not really sure what to do
reply
zen
Thank you so much for making this video. Im trying my best to learn how to properly comfort someone irl and in chat cause of my lack of comforting skills, my relationship w/ my friend got ruined and now that were okay, i dont want that to happen again: (
reply
Thank you so much for making this video. Im trying my best to learn how to properly comfort someone irl and in chat cause of my lack of comforting skills, my relationship w/ my friend got ruined and now that were okay, i dont want that to happen again: (
reply
ThatArtChick
Whenever i brought something to my boyfriend, he would just deny it. Like id tell him about how my mother would say something about my clothes, and I'd say that shes slt shaming me. Hed say i doubt she meant it like that
Dont do that.
reply
Whenever i brought something to my boyfriend, he would just deny it. Like id tell him about how my mother would say something about my clothes, and I'd say that shes slt shaming me. Hed say i doubt she meant it like that
Dont do that.
reply
lilyyy
I made friends with someone whos going through something. Its hard to see them upset and although I know I may not be able to fix their problems, I really want to try and learn how to help in the most comfortable way I can.
reply
I made friends with someone whos going through something. Its hard to see them upset and although I know I may not be able to fix their problems, I really want to try and learn how to help in the most comfortable way I can.
reply
education
A family member got diagnosed with cancer and my moms taking it hard. Feelings make me uncomfortable but I wanna help.
I hope everyone who watched this is ok and so is the person they're trying to comfort
reply
A family member got diagnosed with cancer and my moms taking it hard. Feelings make me uncomfortable but I wanna help.
I hope everyone who watched this is ok and so is the person they're trying to comfort
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
