What Your Love Language Says About Your Childhood
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Date: 2025-02-11
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Comments and reviews: 20
audreyeggroll7857
I like to give gifts and I really thought of it, it’s because of the few times my mom freaked out over getting a similar gift despite asking for it again and again. She’s better about it
Acts of service was from watching my parents when they didn’t do stuff for each other or my sister so I felt like I couldn’t ask for help, I still struggle with asking and it means a lot when people try and do stuff for me
I don’t think I crave words of affirmation as much as the others but only because my parents always tried to tell me how good I was and help me with my depression.
Physical touch is strange because I always have given my parents good night kisses and hugs and my parents always soothed me when I would cry. But I still always want it
Quality time is my biggest love language. I feel like if I don’t share everything my parents are missing something about me, they’ve been accidentally late a few times to things and sometimes my mom couldn’t show up because she was working. I love being around people and hate being alone even when I’m sick of people I still want to be next to someone
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I like to give gifts and I really thought of it, it’s because of the few times my mom freaked out over getting a similar gift despite asking for it again and again. She’s better about it
Acts of service was from watching my parents when they didn’t do stuff for each other or my sister so I felt like I couldn’t ask for help, I still struggle with asking and it means a lot when people try and do stuff for me
I don’t think I crave words of affirmation as much as the others but only because my parents always tried to tell me how good I was and help me with my depression.
Physical touch is strange because I always have given my parents good night kisses and hugs and my parents always soothed me when I would cry. But I still always want it
Quality time is my biggest love language. I feel like if I don’t share everything my parents are missing something about me, they’ve been accidentally late a few times to things and sometimes my mom couldn’t show up because she was working. I love being around people and hate being alone even when I’m sick of people I still want to be next to someone
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confusedmole
I noticed in various older videos aswell you say that most roots for our behavior could come from childhood, but I never felt that way, like, I can’t remember 1 scenario of these opposites that have taken place (f. e. not getting physical affection as a kid leading to being obsessed over it today - and me always being this way with my parents also, while I also noticed friends or dates not being comfortable with physical touch while having a complicated relationship with their parents etc)
Im asking myself why it’s always the opposites and if all studies say the same on that topic bc I just don’t really believe it. What I’m loving to do today I always loved to do as a child, can anyone else relate to this or do I have SEVERE holes in my memory
Im curious how others see this bc these type of examples really never applies to my life and were rather a result of experiences with various other people (like workplace, school, uni, Friends, relationships) or development and mindshifts in myself that took place mostly in adulthood in general
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I noticed in various older videos aswell you say that most roots for our behavior could come from childhood, but I never felt that way, like, I can’t remember 1 scenario of these opposites that have taken place (f. e. not getting physical affection as a kid leading to being obsessed over it today - and me always being this way with my parents also, while I also noticed friends or dates not being comfortable with physical touch while having a complicated relationship with their parents etc)
Im asking myself why it’s always the opposites and if all studies say the same on that topic bc I just don’t really believe it. What I’m loving to do today I always loved to do as a child, can anyone else relate to this or do I have SEVERE holes in my memory
Im curious how others see this bc these type of examples really never applies to my life and were rather a result of experiences with various other people (like workplace, school, uni, Friends, relationships) or development and mindshifts in myself that took place mostly in adulthood in general
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IamDaBlitz64
Being the oldest of 4 to a single mother. I suppose Acts of Service / Gift Giving would be the best bet; note the Would tho, as honestly so many people have disappointed me growing up even now that I've had to learn to be self-sufficient at a young age & only feel really comfortable alone, away from other people.
Love me Madre & understand her situation raising us. but I still feel like I hated her growing up, 'coz SO MUCH PRESSURE was placed on me to get good grades / be there for the siblings / be responsible. never any real time to explore what I wanted to do, making it so that I rn do not know what I want out of life anymore; all dreams dashed.
All I have are my games & social media (which is hopefully full of cute art & videos that day, not massive amounts of political stuff.
Also definitely doubting I'll ever find someone who gets me enough that I'd want to commit to a relationship, 'coz. well, just tired of being let down. :/
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Being the oldest of 4 to a single mother. I suppose Acts of Service / Gift Giving would be the best bet; note the Would tho, as honestly so many people have disappointed me growing up even now that I've had to learn to be self-sufficient at a young age & only feel really comfortable alone, away from other people.
Love me Madre & understand her situation raising us. but I still feel like I hated her growing up, 'coz SO MUCH PRESSURE was placed on me to get good grades / be there for the siblings / be responsible. never any real time to explore what I wanted to do, making it so that I rn do not know what I want out of life anymore; all dreams dashed.
All I have are my games & social media (which is hopefully full of cute art & videos that day, not massive amounts of political stuff.
Also definitely doubting I'll ever find someone who gets me enough that I'd want to commit to a relationship, 'coz. well, just tired of being let down. :/
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sinofsanity6593
As much as the vid opens with loving your parents, from my side sire, how much did that brick wall care when I was growing up though
Don't get me wrong, I always felt my mom felt something. She passed away though and since then it's like I've seen how my father felt
I don't want to make the entire thing about my parents but my mom did pass away when I was an adult, I believe my love language is touch and it stopped when my mother was gone
Now I don't trust anyone, anyone thst close is like they have a knife. It's been too long since it felt anyone cared. Anyone left in the family is men, by now in their own relationships
Being torn between being a man, the lack of trust and practical begging for touch, yup I've been losing hope and any idea in what might drag me out of it
Sure, I'd love the touch, what's the chance by now someone wants to stab me though. My parents never tought me about friends
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As much as the vid opens with loving your parents, from my side sire, how much did that brick wall care when I was growing up though
Don't get me wrong, I always felt my mom felt something. She passed away though and since then it's like I've seen how my father felt
I don't want to make the entire thing about my parents but my mom did pass away when I was an adult, I believe my love language is touch and it stopped when my mother was gone
Now I don't trust anyone, anyone thst close is like they have a knife. It's been too long since it felt anyone cared. Anyone left in the family is men, by now in their own relationships
Being torn between being a man, the lack of trust and practical begging for touch, yup I've been losing hope and any idea in what might drag me out of it
Sure, I'd love the touch, what's the chance by now someone wants to stab me though. My parents never tought me about friends
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LetsGoKnicks
Hey, I've been watching you 24/7 on my other account. I need major help.
I know this really cute boy from summer camp, and we were frien-imies ish and often teased each other. We were in a filming class with cameras and learned how to take shots and angles. I have 2 years experience, so it was fun to teach others. I remember my heart skipping a beat when he was the camera man and they had to do a close up, and the way he adjusted my face made my heart flutter. Summer camp soon came to an end and I had to admit, I was rather sad. Now, I just realized hes in my school! Its so awkward because no one has decided to say something yet. Reminder, its been like this for nearly 4 months now, AND we're in the same afterschool! What do I do: (
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Hey, I've been watching you 24/7 on my other account. I need major help.
I know this really cute boy from summer camp, and we were frien-imies ish and often teased each other. We were in a filming class with cameras and learned how to take shots and angles. I have 2 years experience, so it was fun to teach others. I remember my heart skipping a beat when he was the camera man and they had to do a close up, and the way he adjusted my face made my heart flutter. Summer camp soon came to an end and I had to admit, I was rather sad. Now, I just realized hes in my school! Its so awkward because no one has decided to say something yet. Reminder, its been like this for nearly 4 months now, AND we're in the same afterschool! What do I do: (
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devenmellor
My crush (a girl) once opened the door for me. As a guy, usually it would be me opening the door instead. I had already met her a couple years prior and after her act of chivalry, that's when I decided to thank her and begin talking to her again. I proceeded to go about physical touch by finding myself gently tapping her shoulder because I was too shy to say her name and make eye contact sometimes. I also got her a bracelet for her birthday. This was years ago when I was in highschool, she's a couple years older than me and diabetic and very stoic/reserved. We were friends for a while but she didn't feel the same way towards me. She was also the most naturally beautiful person I've ever met (Vietnamese/Cambodian/Arabic.
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My crush (a girl) once opened the door for me. As a guy, usually it would be me opening the door instead. I had already met her a couple years prior and after her act of chivalry, that's when I decided to thank her and begin talking to her again. I proceeded to go about physical touch by finding myself gently tapping her shoulder because I was too shy to say her name and make eye contact sometimes. I also got her a bracelet for her birthday. This was years ago when I was in highschool, she's a couple years older than me and diabetic and very stoic/reserved. We were friends for a while but she didn't feel the same way towards me. She was also the most naturally beautiful person I've ever met (Vietnamese/Cambodian/Arabic.
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TheSaneHatter
Hmmm. I didn't realize that Gift-Giving was considered a love language: I would have filed it under Acts of Service, which I would have considered my own love language. (However, considering how much Gift-Giving I've done, at least among friends, that may note be true)
In turn, my preference for Acts of Service, according to this video, might well stem from my having been a latchkey kid from the first grade onward. On the other hand, it could also be from the lack of guidance and support I got dealing with my undiagnosed disabilities and social problems in childhood, and from feeling like I was thrown to the wolves coping with the adult world without assistance or guidance.
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Hmmm. I didn't realize that Gift-Giving was considered a love language: I would have filed it under Acts of Service, which I would have considered my own love language. (However, considering how much Gift-Giving I've done, at least among friends, that may note be true)
In turn, my preference for Acts of Service, according to this video, might well stem from my having been a latchkey kid from the first grade onward. On the other hand, it could also be from the lack of guidance and support I got dealing with my undiagnosed disabilities and social problems in childhood, and from feeling like I was thrown to the wolves coping with the adult world without assistance or guidance.
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EXSwitchback
I have diagnosed C-PTSD from childhood neglect. I'm a suicide survivor with severe Dysthymia, stress, anxiety, and depression to top it all off - it took years to discover all this. But I'm high-functioning, and I think the only reason why is because I had to be. I grew up alone and had to rely on myself to survive. I have zero self-esteem if not into the negatives. To this day I struggle to feel happy. I'm always 'okay' and always feel down. Every single one of these speaks to me, but Acts of Service and Gift Giving are my biggest love languages. Especially service. No wonder why.
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I have diagnosed C-PTSD from childhood neglect. I'm a suicide survivor with severe Dysthymia, stress, anxiety, and depression to top it all off - it took years to discover all this. But I'm high-functioning, and I think the only reason why is because I had to be. I grew up alone and had to rely on myself to survive. I have zero self-esteem if not into the negatives. To this day I struggle to feel happy. I'm always 'okay' and always feel down. Every single one of these speaks to me, but Acts of Service and Gift Giving are my biggest love languages. Especially service. No wonder why.
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LeahLovesNature
Interesting. I took a quiz recently to determine my love language priorities, and Acts of Service came out on top. But I don't think it's because my parents didn't do anything for me; in fact, they did a lot of things for me, and as an adult it takes me a long time to do those same things, so I appreciate all the help I can get. Words of Affirmation was a close second, but I think that's largely because I'm autistic and can't tell what most people actually think or if they really mean what they say (because I've learned from experience that a lot of people don't.
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Interesting. I took a quiz recently to determine my love language priorities, and Acts of Service came out on top. But I don't think it's because my parents didn't do anything for me; in fact, they did a lot of things for me, and as an adult it takes me a long time to do those same things, so I appreciate all the help I can get. Words of Affirmation was a close second, but I think that's largely because I'm autistic and can't tell what most people actually think or if they really mean what they say (because I've learned from experience that a lot of people don't.
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0Great_White0
My main love language is acts of service and the reason for it is so far off what's described here, I can't even find the words to express my surprise. I'm not saying this vid is wrong, I'm simply sharing my experience. Acts of service, and I took the test multiple times to confirm, makes for 47% my love language. The other 2 I scored were physical touch and quality time. I had plenty of all 3 in my life, and I guess that's the reason for me to have all 3 - the great memories, great moments that I still have. I give what I get, I guess
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My main love language is acts of service and the reason for it is so far off what's described here, I can't even find the words to express my surprise. I'm not saying this vid is wrong, I'm simply sharing my experience. Acts of service, and I took the test multiple times to confirm, makes for 47% my love language. The other 2 I scored were physical touch and quality time. I had plenty of all 3 in my life, and I guess that's the reason for me to have all 3 - the great memories, great moments that I still have. I give what I get, I guess
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phantompyro6482
I feel like this may be why I'm fairly evenly split between all love languages. I just like receiving any kind of help, contact, gift, etc because I never received any of that growing up. A new friend I've only known for about a month gave me a gift and I was so stunned and awkward because I literally don't know how to react when people do that. Now I've been questioning how I can pay them back for the kindness because gifts in my childhood were always reciprocal (you only got them as rewards or as a condition of doing something)
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I feel like this may be why I'm fairly evenly split between all love languages. I just like receiving any kind of help, contact, gift, etc because I never received any of that growing up. A new friend I've only known for about a month gave me a gift and I was so stunned and awkward because I literally don't know how to react when people do that. Now I've been questioning how I can pay them back for the kindness because gifts in my childhood were always reciprocal (you only got them as rewards or as a condition of doing something)
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mariaa. 7624
I don't know. The things I lacked as a child didn't make me crave them once I grew up. It just made me to feel awkward when it comes to receive or give said affection displays. My mother wasn't exactly the kind who could say I love you easily, so now I feel weirded out when it comes to saying it to my partner. She didn't spend quality time with me either, or had interest in what I liked, as she considered it another motherhood chore, so now I rather leave someone to enjoy their time alone however they please.
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I don't know. The things I lacked as a child didn't make me crave them once I grew up. It just made me to feel awkward when it comes to receive or give said affection displays. My mother wasn't exactly the kind who could say I love you easily, so now I feel weirded out when it comes to saying it to my partner. She didn't spend quality time with me either, or had interest in what I liked, as she considered it another motherhood chore, so now I rather leave someone to enjoy their time alone however they please.
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P1dds
I use acts of service and gift giving. My friends and family appreciate it very much, and I feel as though they finally notice me. I'm still working on my relationship with my sister, but she's older than me and openly dislikes my hobbies with a passion, and I accept the fact that it'll be harder.
I do small things as handmaking gifts and throwing their trash away for them.
I make clay models with the clay I rarely get and let them paint it!
Finally, being noticed and loved knowingly is awesome!
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I use acts of service and gift giving. My friends and family appreciate it very much, and I feel as though they finally notice me. I'm still working on my relationship with my sister, but she's older than me and openly dislikes my hobbies with a passion, and I accept the fact that it'll be harder.
I do small things as handmaking gifts and throwing their trash away for them.
I make clay models with the clay I rarely get and let them paint it!
Finally, being noticed and loved knowingly is awesome!
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Lavenderrose73
Quality time. A lot of broken promises to play a game or otherwise spend time with me. Not so much with my father, he was more reliable about that. When I was supposed to go with him and my then stepmother to Six Flags Magic Mountain for the day, it was raining so he couldn't go. All I cared was that it didn't mean I couldn't spend the day with him some other way. I don't remember what we did, but we still enjoyed the day together, and we ended up going to Magic Mountain another day.
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Quality time. A lot of broken promises to play a game or otherwise spend time with me. Not so much with my father, he was more reliable about that. When I was supposed to go with him and my then stepmother to Six Flags Magic Mountain for the day, it was raining so he couldn't go. All I cared was that it didn't mean I couldn't spend the day with him some other way. I don't remember what we did, but we still enjoyed the day together, and we ended up going to Magic Mountain another day.
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nerdexproject
With all due respect, and while I'm no psychologist, but this video has one major flaw: The assumption that you only have a certain love language due to a lack in your childhood. Not saying that's wrong but based on my experience it can also be exactly the opposite!
My mom gave me a ton of physical touch and yet it's my love language! Why Bc I learned to strongly connect physical touch with love! It actually makes a lot of sense!
I love Psych2Go but I had to point this out!
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With all due respect, and while I'm no psychologist, but this video has one major flaw: The assumption that you only have a certain love language due to a lack in your childhood. Not saying that's wrong but based on my experience it can also be exactly the opposite!
My mom gave me a ton of physical touch and yet it's my love language! Why Bc I learned to strongly connect physical touch with love! It actually makes a lot of sense!
I love Psych2Go but I had to point this out!
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mirai1-p8g
I don't like very much this video, bacause I don't think love languages reflects what you lacked! There are people who hates fisical touch exactly because they lacked it from their parents. I love fisical touch, I didn't lack it, you learn from how your parents love you how to love others, so how come now you're telling me that all these pretty normal and sane love languages are coming from a lack of love from parents You're making people feeling unsecure for no reason at all.
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I don't like very much this video, bacause I don't think love languages reflects what you lacked! There are people who hates fisical touch exactly because they lacked it from their parents. I love fisical touch, I didn't lack it, you learn from how your parents love you how to love others, so how come now you're telling me that all these pretty normal and sane love languages are coming from a lack of love from parents You're making people feeling unsecure for no reason at all.
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RebelDogDude-gl2sh
Well, now I am confused, because either am the least in the gift language. Yet, nobody k ew what the actual f to give me, because I am happy with rocks, not picky, and when anyone wants to find out what I want for birthday, Christmas, etc, (family mostly) tries to ask me for 3 months, just so yjat they can know or even have an idea because i don't want anything(I actually hate gifts, but they want to give them anyway) so what the actual is wrong with me
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Well, now I am confused, because either am the least in the gift language. Yet, nobody k ew what the actual f to give me, because I am happy with rocks, not picky, and when anyone wants to find out what I want for birthday, Christmas, etc, (family mostly) tries to ask me for 3 months, just so yjat they can know or even have an idea because i don't want anything(I actually hate gifts, but they want to give them anyway) so what the actual is wrong with me
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Ferrils
Quality time, it is indeed amazing to feel like they actually want to talk to you, be with you, hangout with you. As someone with a busy mind, I always find myself doubting if the other speaks the truth and really want to hangout with me, but if noticed it's for real, it's the absolute best. And the parent thing too! It did feel like they didn't really wanna listen to me when I talked about things I like or think about. Great video, thanks! :)
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Quality time, it is indeed amazing to feel like they actually want to talk to you, be with you, hangout with you. As someone with a busy mind, I always find myself doubting if the other speaks the truth and really want to hangout with me, but if noticed it's for real, it's the absolute best. And the parent thing too! It did feel like they didn't really wanna listen to me when I talked about things I like or think about. Great video, thanks! :)
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psych2go
Eh. I do want a romantic relationship one day. But I don't always have a very high level of self-confidence. Often it swings from high to low. And in those lows, where every word that comes out of my mouth annoys me, it's nearly impossible to imagine anyone to actually like me, especially in that way. I don't know what my love language is, but besides gift-giving, everything listed here is a fantasy (in both senses of that phrase.
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Eh. I do want a romantic relationship one day. But I don't always have a very high level of self-confidence. Often it swings from high to low. And in those lows, where every word that comes out of my mouth annoys me, it's nearly impossible to imagine anyone to actually like me, especially in that way. I don't know what my love language is, but besides gift-giving, everything listed here is a fantasy (in both senses of that phrase.
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Tori_T_Artist
Quality time has always been my love language, and while my parents did make time for me/the fam, I lacked connection at school throughout my childhood, and because of that, quality time has only deepened/strengthened as my love language. It tells me someone believes I'm worth hanging out with like my family do Being a lone wolf, a social outcast, the forgotten ghost, it's really validating to be seen for once.
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Quality time has always been my love language, and while my parents did make time for me/the fam, I lacked connection at school throughout my childhood, and because of that, quality time has only deepened/strengthened as my love language. It tells me someone believes I'm worth hanging out with like my family do Being a lone wolf, a social outcast, the forgotten ghost, it's really validating to be seen for once.
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