What Does Lack of Empathy Do To Your Brain
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Date: 2025-07-20
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Comments and reviews: 20
Zubairkhan-j2i9h
She told me I was sweet in bed, and I thought it was a compliment until I realized it was the kiss of death. The moment I understood that sweet meant boring, predictable, forgettable - thats when I knew I had to completely rebuild my approach to intimacy. Three weeks ago, I was that nice guy who thought being gentle and asking permission for everything would make her feel cherished, while she was probably fantasizing about someone who knew how to take control. Then I found out about the book Break Her Bed by Jake Black, and it felt like learning that Id been playing checkers while everyone else knew it was chess. His pornstar experience gives him insights that no relationship guru could ever have - he knows what actually happens behind closed doors versus what people say they want. I stopped being sweet and started being confident. Stopped asking and started leading. The transformation has been mind-blowing - she went from tolerating our sessions to initiating them, from faking enthusiasm to genuine addiction. This book doesnt teach you to be a better boyfriend - it teaches you to be unforgettable.
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She told me I was sweet in bed, and I thought it was a compliment until I realized it was the kiss of death. The moment I understood that sweet meant boring, predictable, forgettable - thats when I knew I had to completely rebuild my approach to intimacy. Three weeks ago, I was that nice guy who thought being gentle and asking permission for everything would make her feel cherished, while she was probably fantasizing about someone who knew how to take control. Then I found out about the book Break Her Bed by Jake Black, and it felt like learning that Id been playing checkers while everyone else knew it was chess. His pornstar experience gives him insights that no relationship guru could ever have - he knows what actually happens behind closed doors versus what people say they want. I stopped being sweet and started being confident. Stopped asking and started leading. The transformation has been mind-blowing - she went from tolerating our sessions to initiating them, from faking enthusiasm to genuine addiction. This book doesnt teach you to be a better boyfriend - it teaches you to be unforgettable.
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psych2go
I realized she was scheduling our intimacy around her least horny times when I found her cycle tracker app. The devastating truth that she was actively avoiding being turned on when we were together should have been my rock bottom, but somehow I convinced myself she was just busy. Four weeks ago, I was that husband wondering why the passion died, why she seemed relieved when I didnt initiate, making excuses for a dead bedroom while dying inside. Then I found the book Break Her Bed by Jake Black, and reading it was like discovering Id been doing everything wrong for years. His insider knowledge from the adult industry reveals what women actually respond to versus what they say they want. I stopped trying to be romantic and started being magnetic. Stopped being predictable and started being irresistible. Now shes the one tracking my schedule, the one making excuses to get me alone, the one who cant keep her hands off me. This book doesnt teach you to try harder - it teaches you to be the man she craves instead of tolerates.
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I realized she was scheduling our intimacy around her least horny times when I found her cycle tracker app. The devastating truth that she was actively avoiding being turned on when we were together should have been my rock bottom, but somehow I convinced myself she was just busy. Four weeks ago, I was that husband wondering why the passion died, why she seemed relieved when I didnt initiate, making excuses for a dead bedroom while dying inside. Then I found the book Break Her Bed by Jake Black, and reading it was like discovering Id been doing everything wrong for years. His insider knowledge from the adult industry reveals what women actually respond to versus what they say they want. I stopped trying to be romantic and started being magnetic. Stopped being predictable and started being irresistible. Now shes the one tracking my schedule, the one making excuses to get me alone, the one who cant keep her hands off me. This book doesnt teach you to try harder - it teaches you to be the man she craves instead of tolerates.
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MikeAnn193
This is such an important topic to me -- maybe even more than I realized, because I found myself pausing and thinking a lot. I want to watch it more than once to catch things I missed.
Before I clicked the Play button, I wondered if it meant lack of _giving_ empathy for others, or _receiving it from_ others. Giving and receiving seem like awkward words when applied to empathy, but maybe you know what I mean. We can either _want others_ to feel it for us, or we can feel it for them. I think I feel it for others pretty naturally, but I sometimes wish others could feel it for _me. _
Since this turned out to be more about feeling it for _others, _ I'm hoping to see a future video in which you address what _not receiving it_ does to a person.
By the way, I'm glad you brought up the shopping cart example! It's a pet peeve -- I'm the guy who _always_ parks his cart where it belongs AND takes a few seconds to move one or two others, always shaking my head over the oblivious or uncaring people who left them.
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This is such an important topic to me -- maybe even more than I realized, because I found myself pausing and thinking a lot. I want to watch it more than once to catch things I missed.
Before I clicked the Play button, I wondered if it meant lack of _giving_ empathy for others, or _receiving it from_ others. Giving and receiving seem like awkward words when applied to empathy, but maybe you know what I mean. We can either _want others_ to feel it for us, or we can feel it for them. I think I feel it for others pretty naturally, but I sometimes wish others could feel it for _me. _
Since this turned out to be more about feeling it for _others, _ I'm hoping to see a future video in which you address what _not receiving it_ does to a person.
By the way, I'm glad you brought up the shopping cart example! It's a pet peeve -- I'm the guy who _always_ parks his cart where it belongs AND takes a few seconds to move one or two others, always shaking my head over the oblivious or uncaring people who left them.
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FurbYhouse24
The shopping car I let stay and ignore completely. Not, I have compassion ( Empathy/ Sympathy) Be wise to get out of trouble because if you touch it you done it. ( My heart say, of course small effort but my depraved country hell, no! ) Learn good deeds are consequences and punishments.
Sorry, for others that effect.
For me its indeed trauma case. Grew literally up in frozen cold-hearted and lack of any humanity. At home no affection ( only when they needed, if to use you or else/ if young child struggles and felt on floor; get your face quick of the ground, to not embarrass them)
Indeed we all have right to Compassion ( Empathy/sympathy), Excitement, Love, respect/ decency, rights/ laws, and so on. Sadly not all grew up in a healthy, earm, safe, protect, environment, wish mine my worse enemy not.
My human being is erased feel dead inside. My soul already released from its self. Despite I can feel it but wise let it. Enough misery.
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The shopping car I let stay and ignore completely. Not, I have compassion ( Empathy/ Sympathy) Be wise to get out of trouble because if you touch it you done it. ( My heart say, of course small effort but my depraved country hell, no! ) Learn good deeds are consequences and punishments.
Sorry, for others that effect.
For me its indeed trauma case. Grew literally up in frozen cold-hearted and lack of any humanity. At home no affection ( only when they needed, if to use you or else/ if young child struggles and felt on floor; get your face quick of the ground, to not embarrass them)
Indeed we all have right to Compassion ( Empathy/sympathy), Excitement, Love, respect/ decency, rights/ laws, and so on. Sadly not all grew up in a healthy, earm, safe, protect, environment, wish mine my worse enemy not.
My human being is erased feel dead inside. My soul already released from its self. Despite I can feel it but wise let it. Enough misery.
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Sammy_PlayzROBLOX
I'm too young for understanding what older people say, But I do have depression, Anxiety, Social unsecurities and (Also I forgot the name is it It's like very like in tidy things or a schedules)
I hope if you or anyone read this. I hope you're struggles and mine will disappear and we will be happy in our life's. No one is perfect, Except god! God makes all of us have our downs and ups, If someone says you're not perfect you can say No one is perfect tough! If the fight back remember, That's a bad behavior. Soon on they will realize you're pain or go to hll, People sometimes have no empathy! Just like the video, Abuse and trauma makes others have struggles in their life because they are sad, Drained and half broken! Don't worry, You and I. (Maybe not me) Will heal, You're wounds and pain will go and disappear. Stay strong and stay safe out there! A helpfull message from a 14 year old
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I'm too young for understanding what older people say, But I do have depression, Anxiety, Social unsecurities and (Also I forgot the name is it It's like very like in tidy things or a schedules)
I hope if you or anyone read this. I hope you're struggles and mine will disappear and we will be happy in our life's. No one is perfect, Except god! God makes all of us have our downs and ups, If someone says you're not perfect you can say No one is perfect tough! If the fight back remember, That's a bad behavior. Soon on they will realize you're pain or go to hll, People sometimes have no empathy! Just like the video, Abuse and trauma makes others have struggles in their life because they are sad, Drained and half broken! Don't worry, You and I. (Maybe not me) Will heal, You're wounds and pain will go and disappear. Stay strong and stay safe out there! A helpfull message from a 14 year old
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srobbins-ukraine
You got to be crazy, gotta have a real need
Gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street
You got to be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight
You got to strike when the moment is right without thinking
And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye, and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you
You'll get the chance to put the knife in
You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder
You know it's gonna get harder, harder, and harder as you get older
Yeah, and in the end you'll pack up, fly down south
Hide your head in the sand
Just another sad old man
All alone and dying of cancer
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You got to be crazy, gotta have a real need
Gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street
You got to be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight
You got to strike when the moment is right without thinking
And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye, and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you
You'll get the chance to put the knife in
You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder
You know it's gonna get harder, harder, and harder as you get older
Yeah, and in the end you'll pack up, fly down south
Hide your head in the sand
Just another sad old man
All alone and dying of cancer
reply
Anushka_san-b7b
Absence of empathy is bearable, liberating & powerful.
But lack of empathy when you are sensitive, it numbs you, you feel you lost a purposeful emotion of your life, you feel you can't love as fiercely as you did anymore, you would not resonate with yourself anymore & would wish if you never had any empathy from birth then the loss of it would never cause any grief.
Something I desperately wish, I was born apathetic then i would be an evil person freely but my hypersensitivity, empathy & guilt made me a kind person despite the fact that I never wanted to be this way. The idealistic side is that i also love my empathy & sensitivity It has made me clever, it taught me the art of loving & what it feels to be a HUMAN & BEING ALIVE (I'm a devastating mix of being angelic & demonic)
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Absence of empathy is bearable, liberating & powerful.
But lack of empathy when you are sensitive, it numbs you, you feel you lost a purposeful emotion of your life, you feel you can't love as fiercely as you did anymore, you would not resonate with yourself anymore & would wish if you never had any empathy from birth then the loss of it would never cause any grief.
Something I desperately wish, I was born apathetic then i would be an evil person freely but my hypersensitivity, empathy & guilt made me a kind person despite the fact that I never wanted to be this way. The idealistic side is that i also love my empathy & sensitivity It has made me clever, it taught me the art of loving & what it feels to be a HUMAN & BEING ALIVE (I'm a devastating mix of being angelic & demonic)
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MaulyMayhem
I didn’t know the shopping cart thing was a test for empathy. I get so frustrated when people don’t return the carts to the corrals and will grab nearby carts and wrangle them in. I understand that 1 out of the 3 people who left the carts probably couldn’t return them for various reasons, but I also know most people just don’t when they are capable. I use to gather carts and I know how dangerous it is, so definitely have empathy from experience. So I will get other people’s carts, but I will complain about it the entire time (that injustice thing with my adhd. And to be fair most of the time it is carts that are like right next to an empty corral or right in parking spots that irk me the most. It’s like, it’s right there!
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I didn’t know the shopping cart thing was a test for empathy. I get so frustrated when people don’t return the carts to the corrals and will grab nearby carts and wrangle them in. I understand that 1 out of the 3 people who left the carts probably couldn’t return them for various reasons, but I also know most people just don’t when they are capable. I use to gather carts and I know how dangerous it is, so definitely have empathy from experience. So I will get other people’s carts, but I will complain about it the entire time (that injustice thing with my adhd. And to be fair most of the time it is carts that are like right next to an empty corral or right in parking spots that irk me the most. It’s like, it’s right there!
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blueshimmerss
While empathy isn’t an issue for me i struggle to sympathize with people often resulting in un-genuine interactions. I’m very genuine but when it comes to negative occurrences I’ve always had a thing to brush off problems that I can’t fix or change so seeing other people do so results in empathy but not sympathy and when they discuss their problem with me I’m always so lost because I don’t understand them, it doesn’t stop me from trying to provide support but its such a gray area for me and I don’t know why I’m like this no matter how I try to put myself in their shoes. It might stir up from my avoidant/clingy attachment style mess but I’m not sure and i would like some input and even tips.
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While empathy isn’t an issue for me i struggle to sympathize with people often resulting in un-genuine interactions. I’m very genuine but when it comes to negative occurrences I’ve always had a thing to brush off problems that I can’t fix or change so seeing other people do so results in empathy but not sympathy and when they discuss their problem with me I’m always so lost because I don’t understand them, it doesn’t stop me from trying to provide support but its such a gray area for me and I don’t know why I’m like this no matter how I try to put myself in their shoes. It might stir up from my avoidant/clingy attachment style mess but I’m not sure and i would like some input and even tips.
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jezevecmartin6122
I like empathy because it is a big part of my moral compass. I don't know if these two are connected but empathy and kindness go together and when I'm in a situation where I can be empathetic/kind or if there is mostly more positive thing I can do or how I can interact to make things better (return shopping cart, help a stranger who tripped and fell) I almost almost always choose the better thing. It takes less effort to not do anything or do the negative thing but then it weights on me or smt. What I'm trying to say is that the thing that seems easier is usually much more difficult in the long run if you have higher (or in my case very very high) level of empathy. Love you all
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I like empathy because it is a big part of my moral compass. I don't know if these two are connected but empathy and kindness go together and when I'm in a situation where I can be empathetic/kind or if there is mostly more positive thing I can do or how I can interact to make things better (return shopping cart, help a stranger who tripped and fell) I almost almost always choose the better thing. It takes less effort to not do anything or do the negative thing but then it weights on me or smt. What I'm trying to say is that the thing that seems easier is usually much more difficult in the long run if you have higher (or in my case very very high) level of empathy. Love you all
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BR3ADP00KI3
I don't believe that empathy has very much to do with doing the right thing. It's a form of motivation to follow your moral compass, like guilt. Not moral superiority. Almost everyone feels empathy, but there are so many people who can be cruel despite it. Why Because they put their own insecurities/feelings over morals. Insecurity or malice overrides the moral compass, despite empathy. Some people have a strong enough moral compass and can do the right thing even without empathy. Even if no one's watching. Even if they can't relate. Even if they can't feel for them. They can still care, and choose to do the right thing even if it doesn't benefit them emotionally.
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I don't believe that empathy has very much to do with doing the right thing. It's a form of motivation to follow your moral compass, like guilt. Not moral superiority. Almost everyone feels empathy, but there are so many people who can be cruel despite it. Why Because they put their own insecurities/feelings over morals. Insecurity or malice overrides the moral compass, despite empathy. Some people have a strong enough moral compass and can do the right thing even without empathy. Even if no one's watching. Even if they can't relate. Even if they can't feel for them. They can still care, and choose to do the right thing even if it doesn't benefit them emotionally.
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KameCrush
Empathy, the act of kindness towards others, is often overshadowed and referred to as weakness because people use manipulative tactics to take advantage of others and people are often blinded by their successes and the destination rather than how they got there or even why they started. Nowadays people in society usually try to fit in because they fear of being an outcast and different to the rest of them, hence why hardly anyone decides to open their heart. Amanda is right, billionaires rarely show empathy towards others and some of them are so engulfed by success that they act irrationally and forget why they even bothered to begin.
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Empathy, the act of kindness towards others, is often overshadowed and referred to as weakness because people use manipulative tactics to take advantage of others and people are often blinded by their successes and the destination rather than how they got there or even why they started. Nowadays people in society usually try to fit in because they fear of being an outcast and different to the rest of them, hence why hardly anyone decides to open their heart. Amanda is right, billionaires rarely show empathy towards others and some of them are so engulfed by success that they act irrationally and forget why they even bothered to begin.
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erniecolussy1705
Empathy is the ability to to understand or see things from another person's perspective. If we understand that perspective to include their physical perspective not just an emotional perspective than empathy can improve our safety and many other things.
A driver that understands what other drivers actually can and can't see is a safer driver.
A parent that understands and remembers that their child has no experience with the pre 9/11 world will remember to explain how things have changed. How we use to greet visiting family and friends at the airport gate when they arrived instead of at baggage pickup or curb side.
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Empathy is the ability to to understand or see things from another person's perspective. If we understand that perspective to include their physical perspective not just an emotional perspective than empathy can improve our safety and many other things.
A driver that understands what other drivers actually can and can't see is a safer driver.
A parent that understands and remembers that their child has no experience with the pre 9/11 world will remember to explain how things have changed. How we use to greet visiting family and friends at the airport gate when they arrived instead of at baggage pickup or curb side.
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psych2go
Almost all of my emotions have become cognitive.
I don't know if I actually care about anybody, But if you were to watch me or read my messages and not find me specifically saying so, You'd think I'm highly empathetic, I believe.
I try to express empathy more because it's what should be done and because it makes people feel better, Even when I feel nothing.
And I follow a ruleset I came up with and developed over my childhood, That and I try to make people happy overall.
I personally believe it was because of my mom, Who I've come to view as manipulative.
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Almost all of my emotions have become cognitive.
I don't know if I actually care about anybody, But if you were to watch me or read my messages and not find me specifically saying so, You'd think I'm highly empathetic, I believe.
I try to express empathy more because it's what should be done and because it makes people feel better, Even when I feel nothing.
And I follow a ruleset I came up with and developed over my childhood, That and I try to make people happy overall.
I personally believe it was because of my mom, Who I've come to view as manipulative.
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HRBART
I'm just so tired of being good. People have done so much to me. It hurts it always hurts. But no empathy is shown to me. This has gone on for so long, i just became so depressed and retracted. I cant and wont do this anymore. Its gotten to the point where itsike people notice how checked out i have become. That they have to try to trigger some kind of reaction. Reminding me of horrible things. Trying to get me to feel good so that i can hurt again. Sometimes I become so disgusted with life and the human beings in it. I dont want to do this anymore.
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I'm just so tired of being good. People have done so much to me. It hurts it always hurts. But no empathy is shown to me. This has gone on for so long, i just became so depressed and retracted. I cant and wont do this anymore. Its gotten to the point where itsike people notice how checked out i have become. That they have to try to trigger some kind of reaction. Reminding me of horrible things. Trying to get me to feel good so that i can hurt again. Sometimes I become so disgusted with life and the human beings in it. I dont want to do this anymore.
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chastie50
I’m honestly one of the most empathetic people you could meet. deeply feeling, caring, always wanting to connect. And that’s exactly what made me vulnerable.
I went through serious emotional abuse in my last relationship. He was a narcissist, manipulative, cold, controlling, emotionally absent.
At some point, I just needed to understand what was happening in his brain, but also in mine.
This video really hit hard.
Empathy isn’t weakness. But when it meets someone who lacks all of it the damage runs deep.
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I’m honestly one of the most empathetic people you could meet. deeply feeling, caring, always wanting to connect. And that’s exactly what made me vulnerable.
I went through serious emotional abuse in my last relationship. He was a narcissist, manipulative, cold, controlling, emotionally absent.
At some point, I just needed to understand what was happening in his brain, but also in mine.
This video really hit hard.
Empathy isn’t weakness. But when it meets someone who lacks all of it the damage runs deep.
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psych2go
I've met people who aren't affected by moral or emotional arguments. But that doesn't mean they are selfish. You just have to argue the practicality.
You can say You should share your only sandwich with your friend because it's better if nobody is hungry than if one person is hungry while the other is full and that'll work on a nonempathetic person.
The arguments that don't work with nonempathetic people are you should share because it's the right thing to do! I'm so hurt that you won't help a friend!
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I've met people who aren't affected by moral or emotional arguments. But that doesn't mean they are selfish. You just have to argue the practicality.
You can say You should share your only sandwich with your friend because it's better if nobody is hungry than if one person is hungry while the other is full and that'll work on a nonempathetic person.
The arguments that don't work with nonempathetic people are you should share because it's the right thing to do! I'm so hurt that you won't help a friend!
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juliabrnssr
This is interesting. I always saw empathy as a bad thing. Growing up, I was always told that others well being was better than my own. When I was in a position to put myself first, I felt fantastic, even empowered. People would emotionally manipulate me throughout the years. When you stop caring, they no longer have control over me. Now I'm told empathy is a good thing, that should be practiced more often Feels like a way to be taken advantage of, or emotionally drained like before.
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This is interesting. I always saw empathy as a bad thing. Growing up, I was always told that others well being was better than my own. When I was in a position to put myself first, I felt fantastic, even empowered. People would emotionally manipulate me throughout the years. When you stop caring, they no longer have control over me. Now I'm told empathy is a good thing, that should be practiced more often Feels like a way to be taken advantage of, or emotionally drained like before.
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ZephyrtheCat-x5b
I sometimes struggle to empathize with my parents' wish to spend time with me, instead shutting my family out to do my own thing. I also have trouble accepting opposing points of view, and I'm very judgmental. I tend to disregard my family members when they're trying to give advice. When family members are hurt by my actions, my first reaction is to be annoyed instead of empathetic. To be clear: these are NOT things I like about myself. I DO NOT like being this way.
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I sometimes struggle to empathize with my parents' wish to spend time with me, instead shutting my family out to do my own thing. I also have trouble accepting opposing points of view, and I'm very judgmental. I tend to disregard my family members when they're trying to give advice. When family members are hurt by my actions, my first reaction is to be annoyed instead of empathetic. To be clear: these are NOT things I like about myself. I DO NOT like being this way.
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Santana_Art
The shopping cart test isn’t always accurate.
As a former bag boy, collecting shopping carts were my favorite part of the day. Escape all the customers, get some fresh air and chatting with the other bag boys about video games and stuff.
I’d say if you were to leave the shopping cart in the parking lot PLEASE put it somewhere that won’t be an obstacle for parking spaces. Somewhere between pillars or mount one on a curb so it won’t roll around the area.
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The shopping cart test isn’t always accurate.
As a former bag boy, collecting shopping carts were my favorite part of the day. Escape all the customers, get some fresh air and chatting with the other bag boys about video games and stuff.
I’d say if you were to leave the shopping cart in the parking lot PLEASE put it somewhere that won’t be an obstacle for parking spaces. Somewhere between pillars or mount one on a curb so it won’t roll around the area.
reply
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