Relationship Red Flags on the Silver Screen: Top 10 Movie Couples
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Date: 2023-11-21
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Comments and reviews: 30
KrisCynical
Cinema Therapy has excellent episodes about a lot of these couples/movies (like how Belle and Beast is _not_ Stockholm Syndrome.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying fiction, but the siblings/guardians/parents of younger people should definitely make an effort to make sure they know that these things aren't _actually_ as perfect or romantic as they seem on film because fiction is fiction, even when it might _seem_ realistic.
My niece was a tween when the Twilight books were released, and she was OBSESSED with them. Since my sister just obsessed right along with her and didn't see anything wrong at all about Edward or Jacob (her ex-husband would tell you a LOT about why, I had to be the one to have chats with her about things like:
It might seem romantic that Edward sneaks into Bella's room at night to watch her sleep, but if a boy ever does that to you? RUN. That's him being a stalker, and it's creepy. No normal boy does that. EVER.
and
No boy should ever take your decisions away from you to make them himself the way Edward and Jacob do to Bella. EVER. You are your own person, and your autonomy is something boys should value and respect just like _everybody's_ autonomy should be respected, _ESPECIALLY_ if they say they love you.
I often wonder how many girls from her generation ended up in manipulative, abusive relationships out of the starting gate because they thought Edward or Jacob was dreamy and romantic.
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Cinema Therapy has excellent episodes about a lot of these couples/movies (like how Belle and Beast is _not_ Stockholm Syndrome.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying fiction, but the siblings/guardians/parents of younger people should definitely make an effort to make sure they know that these things aren't _actually_ as perfect or romantic as they seem on film because fiction is fiction, even when it might _seem_ realistic.
My niece was a tween when the Twilight books were released, and she was OBSESSED with them. Since my sister just obsessed right along with her and didn't see anything wrong at all about Edward or Jacob (her ex-husband would tell you a LOT about why, I had to be the one to have chats with her about things like:
It might seem romantic that Edward sneaks into Bella's room at night to watch her sleep, but if a boy ever does that to you? RUN. That's him being a stalker, and it's creepy. No normal boy does that. EVER.
and
No boy should ever take your decisions away from you to make them himself the way Edward and Jacob do to Bella. EVER. You are your own person, and your autonomy is something boys should value and respect just like _everybody's_ autonomy should be respected, _ESPECIALLY_ if they say they love you.
I often wonder how many girls from her generation ended up in manipulative, abusive relationships out of the starting gate because they thought Edward or Jacob was dreamy and romantic.
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DIEGODUBBER
In all honesty, some rom-coms portrays relationships that are not exactly toxic, just a little problematic with the main couple having some issues they need to work out. But do you want to know, in my personal opinion, what is the single most toxic relationship I have ever seen in a movie, or other entertainment media, for that matter? Tessa and Hardin from the After movies. Tessa should just wake the hell up and dump that toxic, manipulative asshat like yesterday's newspaper. Like, no, girl. Stop trying to change him. He's NOT worth it. Date someone else and move the hell on, for crying out loud! He spends all of the movies carrying flags redder than a lobster. Violent tantrums, manipulative behavior, a chronic liar, Tessa has to walk on eggshells with him. Just confirms to me that this is the epitome of a toxic relationship in movie/series media. They're so toxic, they're burning my nose hair! Okay, forgiveness, seeing good in everyone and all, but he just never changes. Tessa should just dump him for good, move on and not look back, he doesn't deserve her.
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In all honesty, some rom-coms portrays relationships that are not exactly toxic, just a little problematic with the main couple having some issues they need to work out. But do you want to know, in my personal opinion, what is the single most toxic relationship I have ever seen in a movie, or other entertainment media, for that matter? Tessa and Hardin from the After movies. Tessa should just wake the hell up and dump that toxic, manipulative asshat like yesterday's newspaper. Like, no, girl. Stop trying to change him. He's NOT worth it. Date someone else and move the hell on, for crying out loud! He spends all of the movies carrying flags redder than a lobster. Violent tantrums, manipulative behavior, a chronic liar, Tessa has to walk on eggshells with him. Just confirms to me that this is the epitome of a toxic relationship in movie/series media. They're so toxic, they're burning my nose hair! Okay, forgiveness, seeing good in everyone and all, but he just never changes. Tessa should just dump him for good, move on and not look back, he doesn't deserve her.
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rubytuesdayphoenix
Yet another half-baked take of ermagahhhhhhd Grease was so PROBLEMATIC groundbreaking
People take it WAY too seriously. For godssakes, they FLY OFF in their car at the end! Frenchie deciding whether to drop out of beauty school and go back to high school takes the form of a highly stylized musical number with Frankie friggin Avalon as an angel! It's a fun fluffy fantasy, leave it alone
also, I consider the ending through the Cinderella principle: Cinderella wasn't a passive maiden who dreamt of meeting and marrying the prince, she just wanted a damn night off to dance at a ball and wear a pretty dress. In the same line, Sandy got a makeover for herself. She was a teenager! Teenagers frequently try on different personas as a way of finding out who they are. Hell for all we know, maybe a week after they flew off in the car and landed in Narnia, she went through a flapper phase. Danny digging her makeover was just the cherry on top.
(I know, this rant ironically shows that now I'M taking it too seriously lol whatever)
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Yet another half-baked take of ermagahhhhhhd Grease was so PROBLEMATIC groundbreaking
People take it WAY too seriously. For godssakes, they FLY OFF in their car at the end! Frenchie deciding whether to drop out of beauty school and go back to high school takes the form of a highly stylized musical number with Frankie friggin Avalon as an angel! It's a fun fluffy fantasy, leave it alone
also, I consider the ending through the Cinderella principle: Cinderella wasn't a passive maiden who dreamt of meeting and marrying the prince, she just wanted a damn night off to dance at a ball and wear a pretty dress. In the same line, Sandy got a makeover for herself. She was a teenager! Teenagers frequently try on different personas as a way of finding out who they are. Hell for all we know, maybe a week after they flew off in the car and landed in Narnia, she went through a flapper phase. Danny digging her makeover was just the cherry on top.
(I know, this rant ironically shows that now I'M taking it too seriously lol whatever)
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11cabadger
I know this isn't a fun topic but I enjoyed this video. Congrats on staying 100 about couples that have always seemed more icky than dreamy.
I agree with other commenters, you're being a little hard on Jenny. It's not a toxic relationship if the damaged partner isn't intentionally hurtful (Jenny wasn't being malicious in keeping the baby a secret) and don't forget Forrest understood Jenny's issues and loved her in spite of them. As for Beauty and the Beast, yeah, he wasn't a good guy at first, but isn't there room for growth in relationships? The guy was cursed for being a jerk and wouldn't have become Prince Handsome if his heart hadn't been truly reformed. As for Beauty, she needed the reality check.
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I know this isn't a fun topic but I enjoyed this video. Congrats on staying 100 about couples that have always seemed more icky than dreamy.
I agree with other commenters, you're being a little hard on Jenny. It's not a toxic relationship if the damaged partner isn't intentionally hurtful (Jenny wasn't being malicious in keeping the baby a secret) and don't forget Forrest understood Jenny's issues and loved her in spite of them. As for Beauty and the Beast, yeah, he wasn't a good guy at first, but isn't there room for growth in relationships? The guy was cursed for being a jerk and wouldn't have become Prince Handsome if his heart hadn't been truly reformed. As for Beauty, she needed the reality check.
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Buffy8Fan
I disagree with #'s 6, 4 & Honorable Mention Beauty and the Beast.
Sandy & Danny and Beast & Belle started off toxic and were willing to change themselves for one another, while Jenny couldn't be healthy for Forest until she loved herself and she couldn't do that until she dealt with her past, which she did. All three couples have different issues but go through the same needing to change to be with who they love story.
And when it comes to #1, it is and was always meant to be a cautionary tale. In no way have I ever seen it romanticized in viewers eyes. Only in Harley's eyes and she's even wised up to show the side of realization in said cautionary tale.
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I disagree with #'s 6, 4 & Honorable Mention Beauty and the Beast.
Sandy & Danny and Beast & Belle started off toxic and were willing to change themselves for one another, while Jenny couldn't be healthy for Forest until she loved herself and she couldn't do that until she dealt with her past, which she did. All three couples have different issues but go through the same needing to change to be with who they love story.
And when it comes to #1, it is and was always meant to be a cautionary tale. In no way have I ever seen it romanticized in viewers eyes. Only in Harley's eyes and she's even wised up to show the side of realization in said cautionary tale.
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safahmie
I'm sorry. No on the one from devil wears Prada. He had every right to question her. I would have done the same thing if the person I've been with for years changed so much from the person I once knew. She used to be there to support him and now she's ditching him without a phone call? I'd want to know what's going on too because I'm not gonna be staying in a relationship with a person I no longer know or respect. I'd also want my partner to burst my bubble like that if he knew I was truly unhappy and changed myself from every thing I once stood for just so I can be included. She was turning into a b and needed that wake up call
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I'm sorry. No on the one from devil wears Prada. He had every right to question her. I would have done the same thing if the person I've been with for years changed so much from the person I once knew. She used to be there to support him and now she's ditching him without a phone call? I'd want to know what's going on too because I'm not gonna be staying in a relationship with a person I no longer know or respect. I'd also want my partner to burst my bubble like that if he knew I was truly unhappy and changed myself from every thing I once stood for just so I can be included. She was turning into a b and needed that wake up call
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Taaya
No strong feelings about any of them (except for mostly agreeing on your takes about them, but. Maybe it's me being German, but how is being step-siblings toxic? Unless they're genetically related, that's completely legal and even rather common. And why is it okay with found family leading to more, but not if the found family has partially institutionalised their bond? (No idea about Clueless in general, it's been ages since I watched it and I don't remember much about it. So, idk, the couple can still be completely toxic. It's just that pointing out that they're step-siblings doesn't seem relevant to me regarding this list)
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No strong feelings about any of them (except for mostly agreeing on your takes about them, but. Maybe it's me being German, but how is being step-siblings toxic? Unless they're genetically related, that's completely legal and even rather common. And why is it okay with found family leading to more, but not if the found family has partially institutionalised their bond? (No idea about Clueless in general, it's been ages since I watched it and I don't remember much about it. So, idk, the couple can still be completely toxic. It's just that pointing out that they're step-siblings doesn't seem relevant to me regarding this list)
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Kelly's
10: never liked the entire movie due to the inappropriate romances
9: also never liked it
8: Ive never actually WATCHED this movie and thats because everyone told me how the romance progressed and it was so clear it was toxic
5: never watched it and probably never will
3: that series should have been called the red flag series
2: this series should have been called the 50 shades of red flags.
DHM - Beauty & the Beast: hahahaha. So true
1: for a much healthier comic book couple see Hellboy and Liz (still not great but better)
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10: never liked the entire movie due to the inappropriate romances
9: also never liked it
8: Ive never actually WATCHED this movie and thats because everyone told me how the romance progressed and it was so clear it was toxic
5: never watched it and probably never will
3: that series should have been called the red flag series
2: this series should have been called the 50 shades of red flags.
DHM - Beauty & the Beast: hahahaha. So true
1: for a much healthier comic book couple see Hellboy and Liz (still not great but better)
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Jennifer
The flawed relationships are the point of these stories. People are flawed, so therefore relationships are far from perfect. That doesnt mean that true love isn't present. It also doesnt mean we can't root for them to improve themselves and treat each other better and end up with something better than what they started with - even though we are sometimes disappointed in that regard. If people idealize these relationships, especially those that are meant to be tragedies, then that's an issue they need to address.
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The flawed relationships are the point of these stories. People are flawed, so therefore relationships are far from perfect. That doesnt mean that true love isn't present. It also doesnt mean we can't root for them to improve themselves and treat each other better and end up with something better than what they started with - even though we are sometimes disappointed in that regard. If people idealize these relationships, especially those that are meant to be tragedies, then that's an issue they need to address.
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BPJD
I completely disagree with the Beauty and The Beast one. She stays in the castle to protect her father, and although they started off wrong, she doesn't fall in love with him until he begins to truly change himself. Also, notice that the Beast never lays a hand on her the entire movie, until he lets her help him after the wolf attack. This is not Stockholm Syndrome, and you people who still think it is are seriously messed up because they have one of the most realistic romances ever seen in a Disney movie.
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I completely disagree with the Beauty and The Beast one. She stays in the castle to protect her father, and although they started off wrong, she doesn't fall in love with him until he begins to truly change himself. Also, notice that the Beast never lays a hand on her the entire movie, until he lets her help him after the wolf attack. This is not Stockholm Syndrome, and you people who still think it is are seriously messed up because they have one of the most realistic romances ever seen in a Disney movie.
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porfirio
i think the major mistake that Belle and the Beast has is the relationship aproach; in the original, it wasn't about enemies to lovers story, it was abaut a lonely gentle beast who wanted to pleasse her but very afraid to scare her away because how he looks. he was cultured, softspoken and very gentle; when she went away to meet her family, it wasn't cohercive, she really wanted to come back to him. the fact that Disney made it toxic tarneshed the classic story.
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i think the major mistake that Belle and the Beast has is the relationship aproach; in the original, it wasn't about enemies to lovers story, it was abaut a lonely gentle beast who wanted to pleasse her but very afraid to scare her away because how he looks. he was cultured, softspoken and very gentle; when she went away to meet her family, it wasn't cohercive, she really wanted to come back to him. the fact that Disney made it toxic tarneshed the classic story.
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alex
I feel like a lot of people misunderstand love, actually. The actually is the point, sometimes its actually messy and sometimes its not okay but also Hugh Grants character literally removes his assistant because he recognizes that its not okay to date an employee?
Also, Romeo and Juliet isnt supposed to be a love story, its supposed to be a tragedy. Their love was an illustration so that their deaths drove home the point, that hatred has real consequences.
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I feel like a lot of people misunderstand love, actually. The actually is the point, sometimes its actually messy and sometimes its not okay but also Hugh Grants character literally removes his assistant because he recognizes that its not okay to date an employee?
Also, Romeo and Juliet isnt supposed to be a love story, its supposed to be a tragedy. Their love was an illustration so that their deaths drove home the point, that hatred has real consequences.
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Blackout_Network
Honorable Metion:
Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (Sam Raimi's Spider-Man)
In SM1
She Cheats on Harry Osborn (Peter's Best Friend) and Dumped him after Norman Dies
In SM2
She agrees Marry a Man to Make Peter Jealous and when she Learned the Truth she Dumps her Fiance at the Alter
In SM3
Peter kisses Gwen Stacey and MJ cheats on him with Harry, while they Make up at the end, they need to Break up
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Honorable Metion:
Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (Sam Raimi's Spider-Man)
In SM1
She Cheats on Harry Osborn (Peter's Best Friend) and Dumped him after Norman Dies
In SM2
She agrees Marry a Man to Make Peter Jealous and when she Learned the Truth she Dumps her Fiance at the Alter
In SM3
Peter kisses Gwen Stacey and MJ cheats on him with Harry, while they Make up at the end, they need to Break up
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Artemis
12: 41 - Gotta majorly disagree with you guys on this one. A majority of people think their relationship is toxic because she falls in love with him and yet he kidnapped her when that's not even remotely the case. You can't call it kidnapping or being held captive if you willing choose to go with someone or choose not to leave the location you're at; which is exactly what Belle did in order to save her father.
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12: 41 - Gotta majorly disagree with you guys on this one. A majority of people think their relationship is toxic because she falls in love with him and yet he kidnapped her when that's not even remotely the case. You can't call it kidnapping or being held captive if you willing choose to go with someone or choose not to leave the location you're at; which is exactly what Belle did in order to save her father.
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Nicole
Andi broke up with Nate and gave everything to her job, all day & all night. We saw several examples of people not being able to have fulfilling personal lives in that cut throat industry.
Andi was a different person before she changed, Nate had feelings about that. He expressed himself, his hurt and anger.
Looked like a realistic and normal couple drifting apart. and only one person wanted it.
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Andi broke up with Nate and gave everything to her job, all day & all night. We saw several examples of people not being able to have fulfilling personal lives in that cut throat industry.
Andi was a different person before she changed, Nate had feelings about that. He expressed himself, his hurt and anger.
Looked like a realistic and normal couple drifting apart. and only one person wanted it.
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C. L. Brierley
Can we stop romanticising toxic relationships? You can have the passion, love, excitement and spice in a healthy relationship. Im hope the people involved in these films see how bad these were. Im not sure how Beauty and the Beast got an honourable mention when it isnt actually toxic when you look deeper into it, but After and 365 Days didnt get a mention though.
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Can we stop romanticising toxic relationships? You can have the passion, love, excitement and spice in a healthy relationship. Im hope the people involved in these films see how bad these were. Im not sure how Beauty and the Beast got an honourable mention when it isnt actually toxic when you look deeper into it, but After and 365 Days didnt get a mention though.
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cheyenne
Okay interesting concepts on all these movies. (not familiar with nearly all of them at that) 1991 Beauty and The Beast I completely wholeheartedly DISAGREE with. It wasn't Stockholm Syndrome, she took her father's place to protect him. Belle helped Adam change for his better, to be better for her. Belle only realizes her friend is more to her as he dies in her arms.
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Okay interesting concepts on all these movies. (not familiar with nearly all of them at that) 1991 Beauty and The Beast I completely wholeheartedly DISAGREE with. It wasn't Stockholm Syndrome, she took her father's place to protect him. Belle helped Adam change for his better, to be better for her. Belle only realizes her friend is more to her as he dies in her arms.
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Valerie
I don't agree with putting Andy and her bf from The Devil Wears Prada on this list. The truth is, he could see that her job was turning her into someone she wasn't. Her job was turning her into someone he didn't recognize. It was turning her into a jerk, and he could see that. That's why he said what he said. He's not as toxic as some people make him out to be.
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I don't agree with putting Andy and her bf from The Devil Wears Prada on this list. The truth is, he could see that her job was turning her into someone she wasn't. Her job was turning her into someone he didn't recognize. It was turning her into a jerk, and he could see that. That's why he said what he said. He's not as toxic as some people make him out to be.
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Jri
I'm surprised About Time isn't at least a dishonourable mention. As much as I love that film as a huge fan of Domhnall Gleeson, having the ability to go back in time to fix mistakes or dissatisfactions in his relationship makes him seem like the perfect partner for her but she doesn't have any idea about the flaws that had actually happened in the relationship.
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I'm surprised About Time isn't at least a dishonourable mention. As much as I love that film as a huge fan of Domhnall Gleeson, having the ability to go back in time to fix mistakes or dissatisfactions in his relationship makes him seem like the perfect partner for her but she doesn't have any idea about the flaws that had actually happened in the relationship.
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PandorasBox
I loved Shallow Hal. He got over his ego and went with his heart. It's not anti-fat or whatever, it's anti-ego. They make him look like a jackass (intentionally, showing how ugly the hate and trashy jokes are. People need to stop being so damn sensitive. Also, the Clueless thing - it was sweet. They aren't related. There's nothing wrong with it.
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I loved Shallow Hal. He got over his ego and went with his heart. It's not anti-fat or whatever, it's anti-ego. They make him look like a jackass (intentionally, showing how ugly the hate and trashy jokes are. People need to stop being so damn sensitive. Also, the Clueless thing - it was sweet. They aren't related. There's nothing wrong with it.
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Bryn
Joker & Harley are pretty much supposed to be toxic?
Romeo and Juliet hardly count as a 'movie couple', and even if they did, there were plenty of other movies of the story besides 1996. Likewise Beauty and the Beast having enough of a cultural history to not be a 'Disney Couple' - that wasn't even the first movie version
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Joker & Harley are pretty much supposed to be toxic?
Romeo and Juliet hardly count as a 'movie couple', and even if they did, there were plenty of other movies of the story besides 1996. Likewise Beauty and the Beast having enough of a cultural history to not be a 'Disney Couple' - that wasn't even the first movie version
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Artemis
14: 33 - Ok I totally agree with #1 and I get the category is 'Toxic Movie Couples' but you can't just say Suicide Squad, it the whole freaking DC Universe. Like the minute Harley was created and introduced in Batman the Animated series, they became the ultimate toxic couple, the king and queen of toxic couples.
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14: 33 - Ok I totally agree with #1 and I get the category is 'Toxic Movie Couples' but you can't just say Suicide Squad, it the whole freaking DC Universe. Like the minute Harley was created and introduced in Batman the Animated series, they became the ultimate toxic couple, the king and queen of toxic couples.
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joanne
Romeo and Juliet have always been the most toxic relationship in history. I dont know why people always aspire to be them. Because at the end of the film/story they die. Theyre both gone. So it doesnt matter how strong their love is. Because theyre both gone and I cant think of anything more tragic than that.
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Romeo and Juliet have always been the most toxic relationship in history. I dont know why people always aspire to be them. Because at the end of the film/story they die. Theyre both gone. So it doesnt matter how strong their love is. Because theyre both gone and I cant think of anything more tragic than that.
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Carrie
Ummm. are we maybe taking these couples too seriously? Couples are made of imperfect people, and sometimes - not always - that keeps the relationship a bit interesting and even exciting, and humorous? I mean, I tend to think we take ourselves wayyy too seriously, and then no one is ever good enough for us.
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Ummm. are we maybe taking these couples too seriously? Couples are made of imperfect people, and sometimes - not always - that keeps the relationship a bit interesting and even exciting, and humorous? I mean, I tend to think we take ourselves wayyy too seriously, and then no one is ever good enough for us.
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allison
Is anyone romanticizing Forrest and Jenny, though? The other couples on this list are seen as couple goals or classic couples, lots that people will dress up as for Halloween. But Ive never seen anyone look at Forrest and Jenny that way, I think theyve always been seen as maybe not toxic, but tragic.
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Is anyone romanticizing Forrest and Jenny, though? The other couples on this list are seen as couple goals or classic couples, lots that people will dress up as for Halloween. But Ive never seen anyone look at Forrest and Jenny that way, I think theyve always been seen as maybe not toxic, but tragic.
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Molly
Hal saw the inner beauty of all women he was shallow and had to learn to see past appearances. He finally got it when he saw Kadence again and saw her not as the sweet young child who didnt have anything wrong to seeing her as she actually was which was a patient in the childrens burn ward.
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Hal saw the inner beauty of all women he was shallow and had to learn to see past appearances. He finally got it when he saw Kadence again and saw her not as the sweet young child who didnt have anything wrong to seeing her as she actually was which was a patient in the childrens burn ward.
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Iggybart05
romeo and juliet made your top teen couple list, i'm not sure i can call something a top couple that's also toxic. and they are not the only one on both lists they just happen to be number 1 on the top teen couple list. also back off my favorite movie love actually lol
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romeo and juliet made your top teen couple list, i'm not sure i can call something a top couple that's also toxic. and they are not the only one on both lists they just happen to be number 1 on the top teen couple list. also back off my favorite movie love actually lol
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Dan_Gaming_Fan
The fact that there are people who still genuinely see The Joker and Harley Quinn's relationship as something to be romanticized is just wrong. No more Puddin', no more Mista J, just do like HBO Max and forever ship her and Poison Ivy instead.
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The fact that there are people who still genuinely see The Joker and Harley Quinn's relationship as something to be romanticized is just wrong. No more Puddin', no more Mista J, just do like HBO Max and forever ship her and Poison Ivy instead.
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Rachel
Couples that I would add:
1. Tessa and Hardin (The After series)
2. Harper and Robin (The Best Man)
3. Michael and Kaye ( The Godfather)
4. Johnny and June (Walk the Line)
5. Mr. And Mrs. Smith (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's movie)
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Couples that I would add:
1. Tessa and Hardin (The After series)
2. Harper and Robin (The Best Man)
3. Michael and Kaye ( The Godfather)
4. Johnny and June (Walk the Line)
5. Mr. And Mrs. Smith (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's movie)
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Incrediblya
Shallow Hall is one of my favourite movies and I can't agree with this pick. Yes, it extremely exagerates everythimg, but it's a comedy and should be considered as such. And also, Hall's behaviour and fatfobia clearly is shown as wrong.
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Shallow Hall is one of my favourite movies and I can't agree with this pick. Yes, it extremely exagerates everythimg, but it's a comedy and should be considered as such. And also, Hall's behaviour and fatfobia clearly is shown as wrong.
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