10 Types of Emotional Manipulation
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Crinkle
Just thought I'd throw this out to the community here and get your take. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have had 3 kids together and endured a stillbirth with one of them. During Thanksgiving week my wife went to visit both of our families. She left with the kids the weekend before Thanksgiving and everything seemed just fine before that. I met my wife and kids the following Wednesday. My wife seemed a little moody, but it was nothing too out of the ordinary. Every day it seemed like she was getting more distant. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving my mom told me I should talk to Tiffany. She asked me if we were having relationship problems and I mentioned that she told me she wanted me to give her more affection right before leaving to visit family and I acknowledged her feelings on that pledging to set aside more time in the future. Other than that everything seemed healthy in our marriage. My mom then told me that Tiffany was going around saying some pretty damning things about me to the wives of all of our mutual friends as well as my mom and sister. I figured I would talk to my wife about it when she returned from her trip that weekend. My wife went to a BTS concert during the weekend after Thanksgiving and when she came back she had changed quite a bit. Her smile, gaze, mannerisms, humor, etc. were all changed a little. She told me she finally loves herself and she doesn't love me anymore. She said she wanted a divorce right away so that she could break away from my control and finally be happy. I was stunned and did my best to accept it, which I didn't do very well because I was an emotional wreck trying to grasp onto the idea of saving the marriage. As time has gone on, she has become more detached. Her mood swings are all over the place. One minute she is a happy and energetic mom and the next she is punishing the kids by smacking them every time she gets irritated. She is on her phone all the time and stares off into the abyss a lot. She used to be really good at crafts and other hobbies like baking and suddenly she is really bad at them. Put it this way, she made our 4-tier wedding cake all by herself. Her birthday cake was a simple layer cake that was falling apart. She says that she feels no empathy towards me and barely feels anything towards me as a friend. I've noticed that she now uses a few forms of manipulation seen in this video. She doesn't see her fault in anything no matter how small. For instance, she upset her boss at work by not being productive and she said he was picking on her. My head is spinning just trying to make sense of all of this. It's like I'm talking to a mostly different person. None of this stuff was in her character before. Some of it was, but not so prominently. Does anyone have any idea of what might be happening?
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Just thought I'd throw this out to the community here and get your take. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have had 3 kids together and endured a stillbirth with one of them. During Thanksgiving week my wife went to visit both of our families. She left with the kids the weekend before Thanksgiving and everything seemed just fine before that. I met my wife and kids the following Wednesday. My wife seemed a little moody, but it was nothing too out of the ordinary. Every day it seemed like she was getting more distant. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving my mom told me I should talk to Tiffany. She asked me if we were having relationship problems and I mentioned that she told me she wanted me to give her more affection right before leaving to visit family and I acknowledged her feelings on that pledging to set aside more time in the future. Other than that everything seemed healthy in our marriage. My mom then told me that Tiffany was going around saying some pretty damning things about me to the wives of all of our mutual friends as well as my mom and sister. I figured I would talk to my wife about it when she returned from her trip that weekend. My wife went to a BTS concert during the weekend after Thanksgiving and when she came back she had changed quite a bit. Her smile, gaze, mannerisms, humor, etc. were all changed a little. She told me she finally loves herself and she doesn't love me anymore. She said she wanted a divorce right away so that she could break away from my control and finally be happy. I was stunned and did my best to accept it, which I didn't do very well because I was an emotional wreck trying to grasp onto the idea of saving the marriage. As time has gone on, she has become more detached. Her mood swings are all over the place. One minute she is a happy and energetic mom and the next she is punishing the kids by smacking them every time she gets irritated. She is on her phone all the time and stares off into the abyss a lot. She used to be really good at crafts and other hobbies like baking and suddenly she is really bad at them. Put it this way, she made our 4-tier wedding cake all by herself. Her birthday cake was a simple layer cake that was falling apart. She says that she feels no empathy towards me and barely feels anything towards me as a friend. I've noticed that she now uses a few forms of manipulation seen in this video. She doesn't see her fault in anything no matter how small. For instance, she upset her boss at work by not being productive and she said he was picking on her. My head is spinning just trying to make sense of all of this. It's like I'm talking to a mostly different person. None of this stuff was in her character before. Some of it was, but not so prominently. Does anyone have any idea of what might be happening?
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LimeTime
As a blaster type who's been working on getting their anger under control, let me just say this: if you blow up on someone, make sure you follow these steps:
1. Excuse yourself from the situation, but tell them you'll be back to talk when you're calm. Putting a pause on the discussion rather than a full stop will give you time to calm down and assure the other party that you're going to hear them out once you can think straight again.
2. Make sure you are fully calm and grounded before returning. Seems obvious, but I personally feel pressured to return to high-risk situations early, and thus blow up again due to not being calm enough to handle any potential curveballs.
3. When you do return, be as clear as possible with what made you upset to begin with, making sure to use calm and neutral language. You can't have a discussion about your feelings if your partner doesn't know them, and they're probably going to be in shock after you went off on them like that.
4. Keep your mind open to their side. Anger is a defensive emotion as well as an offensive one, so it's easy to shut down and turn a blind eye to the experiences of others when you're coming down from a rage. Still, they more than likely didn't even mean to set you off, so just hear them out and put whatever was said into their perspective.
Whatever happens from there depends on your situation, but these steps make a good starting point in my experience. Remember: anger problems don't make a toxic person, improper handling of them does.
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As a blaster type who's been working on getting their anger under control, let me just say this: if you blow up on someone, make sure you follow these steps:
1. Excuse yourself from the situation, but tell them you'll be back to talk when you're calm. Putting a pause on the discussion rather than a full stop will give you time to calm down and assure the other party that you're going to hear them out once you can think straight again.
2. Make sure you are fully calm and grounded before returning. Seems obvious, but I personally feel pressured to return to high-risk situations early, and thus blow up again due to not being calm enough to handle any potential curveballs.
3. When you do return, be as clear as possible with what made you upset to begin with, making sure to use calm and neutral language. You can't have a discussion about your feelings if your partner doesn't know them, and they're probably going to be in shock after you went off on them like that.
4. Keep your mind open to their side. Anger is a defensive emotion as well as an offensive one, so it's easy to shut down and turn a blind eye to the experiences of others when you're coming down from a rage. Still, they more than likely didn't even mean to set you off, so just hear them out and put whatever was said into their perspective.
Whatever happens from there depends on your situation, but these steps make a good starting point in my experience. Remember: anger problems don't make a toxic person, improper handling of them does.
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Стилян
I need advice.
My girlfriend has divorced parents and she has a very big problem with her dad, which cause her many anger issues, trust issues(mainly boys) and of course, my favourite - the distancing. We are still together and after a year and a half, I now see how bad she really is. I have always told her that those problems will get away and I am close to her and by her side, but those days I see that she is actually really trying to distance herself from me and the last night I called her and asked: I've always known what is happening, but what about this time. You look like that you are doing your best to go away from me? and she replied: I have told you many times before, that this is something I can't control. It is just happening to the people who I want the most. I'm sorry that I can't help myself and as you said this, you even made me feel worse. and I said: Well then, what are you gonna do after this happens. and she said: If you are done with this patience you are free to go and I told her Okay, why I even mentioned this problem.
My question is, What I can do to help her or help me?
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I need advice.
My girlfriend has divorced parents and she has a very big problem with her dad, which cause her many anger issues, trust issues(mainly boys) and of course, my favourite - the distancing. We are still together and after a year and a half, I now see how bad she really is. I have always told her that those problems will get away and I am close to her and by her side, but those days I see that she is actually really trying to distance herself from me and the last night I called her and asked: I've always known what is happening, but what about this time. You look like that you are doing your best to go away from me? and she replied: I have told you many times before, that this is something I can't control. It is just happening to the people who I want the most. I'm sorry that I can't help myself and as you said this, you even made me feel worse. and I said: Well then, what are you gonna do after this happens. and she said: If you are done with this patience you are free to go and I told her Okay, why I even mentioned this problem.
My question is, What I can do to help her or help me?
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Matthew
I was in a relationship in October I broke up with her because I needed to support my family she then tried her hardest to talk to me I then was getting stalked by her and I told her Id ring the police. She tried to get me arrested for what she did to me I made up with her after a couple of months but she would not stop talking about what I apparently did to her like apparently I gave her depression she had no friends because of me but she got my best friend to be friend me. I then stopped talking to her for a few weeks. I confronted her about her manipulating me she started saying it was all my fault and shes victim but I said you dont understand what has gone on in my life everyone else dose. She then started threatening me trying to get me arrested for what I told everyone about her. I said that the police wont do anything (freedom of speech) if you agree with me like if you think it should be taken to the police because of harassment, false Accusations and slander
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I was in a relationship in October I broke up with her because I needed to support my family she then tried her hardest to talk to me I then was getting stalked by her and I told her Id ring the police. She tried to get me arrested for what she did to me I made up with her after a couple of months but she would not stop talking about what I apparently did to her like apparently I gave her depression she had no friends because of me but she got my best friend to be friend me. I then stopped talking to her for a few weeks. I confronted her about her manipulating me she started saying it was all my fault and shes victim but I said you dont understand what has gone on in my life everyone else dose. She then started threatening me trying to get me arrested for what I told everyone about her. I said that the police wont do anything (freedom of speech) if you agree with me like if you think it should be taken to the police because of harassment, false Accusations and slander
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Wtf
I am a 15 year old girl and I have an older sister whos almost 21 and shes manipulating me that I get panic attacks.
She acts like she is right and I am not, she blames me for anything.
She is also stuck in her past and brings it up all the time to make me and other people feel bad for er.
She gets mad literally over ANYTHING AND PUTS IT ON ME because its easy.
She gets mad over video games and MUCH MORE.
She doesnt do that to mom or dad because they can also get angry and tell her off.
She calls me things, She tells me things that are not true, she brings up her past to make me feel bad or guilty, she makes me feel like EVERYTHING is my fault.
I believe her because she is an adult.
I am really sorry but she is also the reason my self-esteem and confidence are low.
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I am a 15 year old girl and I have an older sister whos almost 21 and shes manipulating me that I get panic attacks.
She acts like she is right and I am not, she blames me for anything.
She is also stuck in her past and brings it up all the time to make me and other people feel bad for er.
She gets mad literally over ANYTHING AND PUTS IT ON ME because its easy.
She gets mad over video games and MUCH MORE.
She doesnt do that to mom or dad because they can also get angry and tell her off.
She calls me things, She tells me things that are not true, she brings up her past to make me feel bad or guilty, she makes me feel like EVERYTHING is my fault.
I believe her because she is an adult.
I am really sorry but she is also the reason my self-esteem and confidence are low.
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Tiger
I think all of us are guilty of some of these emotional manipulation we put on others as well. It probably even comes off as natural manipulation we aren't even aware of that is causing so much damage to others. It's sort of like a defense mechanism to protect ourselves. I've seen people do it to others, but they were not so much intentional. Even if they were, some are still good people. So we can't classify all these people as bad people. Unfortunately these are the kinds of people we have to deal with in life and accept it as a part of life. We can't avoid or hide from these people. They will be one of your family members or people at work. I've learned to accept it and go face to face with manipulators.
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I think all of us are guilty of some of these emotional manipulation we put on others as well. It probably even comes off as natural manipulation we aren't even aware of that is causing so much damage to others. It's sort of like a defense mechanism to protect ourselves. I've seen people do it to others, but they were not so much intentional. Even if they were, some are still good people. So we can't classify all these people as bad people. Unfortunately these are the kinds of people we have to deal with in life and accept it as a part of life. We can't avoid or hide from these people. They will be one of your family members or people at work. I've learned to accept it and go face to face with manipulators.
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angel
im just realizing that i was emotionally manipulated by someone i liked. i made a few mistakes but i did take accountability and apologize, but they always found a way to make themselves the victim at the end of teh conversation, even when i was disappointed in something that they did. im sure the flirt was there as well and many more, but i was blind. i was even given the silent treatment, which is also a form of abuse.
at the end of the day though, words/conversations are always contradictory to multiple perceptions. everyones flawed and capable of taking part in toxic behavior patterns. but we are all capable of bettering ourselves.
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im just realizing that i was emotionally manipulated by someone i liked. i made a few mistakes but i did take accountability and apologize, but they always found a way to make themselves the victim at the end of teh conversation, even when i was disappointed in something that they did. im sure the flirt was there as well and many more, but i was blind. i was even given the silent treatment, which is also a form of abuse.
at the end of the day though, words/conversations are always contradictory to multiple perceptions. everyones flawed and capable of taking part in toxic behavior patterns. but we are all capable of bettering ourselves.
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Jasmine
I have question. Mom always says everything she wants (comment on child mistake, angry insult, talk from behind. When I know it, she said Don't be negative. Just positive. You always think negative. Blablabla and turned out the next 30 minutes of very serious talk. Dad is on her side, always. When she's angry and notice by me, she said: I'm not angry. If i'm angry, it's okay because I want to give you advice. The point is she thinks that parents can be angry anytime they want and child isn't allow (prohibit forever. If child angry, they thought mean child, unrespectful person. Is that include manipulative?
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I have question. Mom always says everything she wants (comment on child mistake, angry insult, talk from behind. When I know it, she said Don't be negative. Just positive. You always think negative. Blablabla and turned out the next 30 minutes of very serious talk. Dad is on her side, always. When she's angry and notice by me, she said: I'm not angry. If i'm angry, it's okay because I want to give you advice. The point is she thinks that parents can be angry anytime they want and child isn't allow (prohibit forever. If child angry, they thought mean child, unrespectful person. Is that include manipulative?
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Marlene
I know this person is the blaster/ the projector. This was a first date situation. He blasted the waitress at the restaurant because her shift ended. She came over to tell us (she was nice) yet he blasted (loudly at) her. She left our table. I looked at him saying she didn't deserve that and he said he was perfect, in everything he does. That is the projector right? I went on to say to him, nobody's perfect. And then he exploded shouting at me and walked out of the restaurant. I thought then he was a problem I am glad that left. Wow, was I glad to never see or hear from him again.
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I know this person is the blaster/ the projector. This was a first date situation. He blasted the waitress at the restaurant because her shift ended. She came over to tell us (she was nice) yet he blasted (loudly at) her. She left our table. I looked at him saying she didn't deserve that and he said he was perfect, in everything he does. That is the projector right? I went on to say to him, nobody's perfect. And then he exploded shouting at me and walked out of the restaurant. I thought then he was a problem I am glad that left. Wow, was I glad to never see or hear from him again.
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Natxxgg
I have someone who sits next to me on the bus, he kept saying rude things and being annoying so I asked to move. The next few days he ignored me, then sent me an awful text telling me how I bad I made him feel. I said sorry and tried to apologize, but he didnt listen. This has happened multiple times, and we havent talked in a month since then. I told a few people this, and they told me he sounds like the type of person that will manipulate you, or guilt trip you. Ive done my absolute best to stay away from him since then
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I have someone who sits next to me on the bus, he kept saying rude things and being annoying so I asked to move. The next few days he ignored me, then sent me an awful text telling me how I bad I made him feel. I said sorry and tried to apologize, but he didnt listen. This has happened multiple times, and we havent talked in a month since then. I told a few people this, and they told me he sounds like the type of person that will manipulate you, or guilt trip you. Ive done my absolute best to stay away from him since then
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Nova
OMG! #7! I am SOOOOOOOOO GLAD you posted this.
The deliberate mis-interpreter. My wife does this and it drives me to the loony bin. IMHO, this is super hard to deal with. I'd say a thing and what she would repeat would be absolutely horrific. She would take my words, spin the around to be awful, then ridicule me being upset because she was just repeating what I said.
It's like an insidious form of gaslighting, if such a thing were possible
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OMG! #7! I am SOOOOOOOOO GLAD you posted this.
The deliberate mis-interpreter. My wife does this and it drives me to the loony bin. IMHO, this is super hard to deal with. I'd say a thing and what she would repeat would be absolutely horrific. She would take my words, spin the around to be awful, then ridicule me being upset because she was just repeating what I said.
It's like an insidious form of gaslighting, if such a thing were possible
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Natalie
I'm married to a man with all the above and the step kids well let's just say I'm standing here like a quivering train wreck, anxiety flying off the scale and serious PTSD. I can't leave as I've been WARNED! If I leave I have to leave 2 of my dogs there because he likes 2 out of my 4 dogs or he will ruin me. I can't leave 2 of my dogs they are my life. There's only 1 way out of this and that's in a box.
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I'm married to a man with all the above and the step kids well let's just say I'm standing here like a quivering train wreck, anxiety flying off the scale and serious PTSD. I can't leave as I've been WARNED! If I leave I have to leave 2 of my dogs there because he likes 2 out of my 4 dogs or he will ruin me. I can't leave 2 of my dogs they are my life. There's only 1 way out of this and that's in a box.
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education
Alright so I would be in this friend group, they were all fake
After the drama and all, I always see what they are saying of me
For example: You are a toxic friend- get on my level- I have a better friend then u
I act like I dont care but it hurts in the inside.
Edit: Bruh this video is like my friends personality
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Alright so I would be in this friend group, they were all fake
After the drama and all, I always see what they are saying of me
For example: You are a toxic friend- get on my level- I have a better friend then u
I act like I dont care but it hurts in the inside.
Edit: Bruh this video is like my friends personality
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yakisoba
my girlfriend's is a nice person not until we've had a fight she'll become like this. saying that she's being invalited even if it's not and i never cared for her. i always cared for people's feeling and never fake it. i don't even know if i should continue this relationship or just end this up. it's draining me inside.
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my girlfriend's is a nice person not until we've had a fight she'll become like this. saying that she's being invalited even if it's not and i never cared for her. i always cared for people's feeling and never fake it. i don't even know if i should continue this relationship or just end this up. it's draining me inside.
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jaeger
im really worried that im doing some of these things to my friends because i have been an asshole before and over the past year and a half a friend has been saying im a narcissist or fake or anything similar despite them only knowing me half as long as my friends who rarely say that stuff about me.
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im really worried that im doing some of these things to my friends because i have been an asshole before and over the past year and a half a friend has been saying im a narcissist or fake or anything similar despite them only knowing me half as long as my friends who rarely say that stuff about me.
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Vengeful
10 types of emotional manipulators.
1. the constant victim
2. the I'm better than you
3. powerful dependants.
4. triangulators
5. anger blasters
6 the projector
7 deliberate mis interpreter
8 the flirt
9 the intimidator
10 multiple offender.
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10 types of emotional manipulators.
1. the constant victim
2. the I'm better than you
3. powerful dependants.
4. triangulators
5. anger blasters
6 the projector
7 deliberate mis interpreter
8 the flirt
9 the intimidator
10 multiple offender.
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Jerrod
I've known and been close friends with several of these. There's another type, too. The gifter. They are always giving you things, buying stuff or taking you out to eat. Eventually it's going to come against you, or you're a mooch. Neither is a good thing
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I've known and been close friends with several of these. There's another type, too. The gifter. They are always giving you things, buying stuff or taking you out to eat. Eventually it's going to come against you, or you're a mooch. Neither is a good thing
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Uenoyama
Is it depressing to say that I've experienced all of them and from the same person? No wonder I am mentally depleted. Thank you so much for this video, it made me sure that I wasn't the wrong one in relationship, it was my partner who was extremely toxic
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Is it depressing to say that I've experienced all of them and from the same person? No wonder I am mentally depleted. Thank you so much for this video, it made me sure that I wasn't the wrong one in relationship, it was my partner who was extremely toxic
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Matt. S
I accused my friend of being manipulative and I was blocked. We argued and everything I said was turned against me, like I was working on eggshells. I tried so hard to be a gud friend, I sometimes I still doubt myself and wonder if I was the problem.
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I accused my friend of being manipulative and I was blocked. We argued and everything I said was turned against me, like I was working on eggshells. I tried so hard to be a gud friend, I sometimes I still doubt myself and wonder if I was the problem.
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randomishation
1. The Constant Victim
2. one-upsmanship expert
3. powerful dependent
4. triangulators
5. the blasters
6. the projector
7. Deliberate misinterpreters
8. The flirt
9. The iron fist
10. The multiple offender
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1. The Constant Victim
2. one-upsmanship expert
3. powerful dependent
4. triangulators
5. the blasters
6. the projector
7. Deliberate misinterpreters
8. The flirt
9. The iron fist
10. The multiple offender
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Kristine
This information comes from Pamela Y. Ableidinger, Ph. D, a clinical psychologist based in CA. Her pamphlet detailing the character traits of each type of manipulator and how you can move on or confront these people is free online (:
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This information comes from Pamela Y. Ableidinger, Ph. D, a clinical psychologist based in CA. Her pamphlet detailing the character traits of each type of manipulator and how you can move on or confront these people is free online (:
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Jaden
Oh jeez. my abusive ex-friend is like 9 out of 10 of these. constantly twisting words, saying he's never wrong, one-upping my struggles to get his way and make himself look like the victim, and trying to bring people to his side.
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Oh jeez. my abusive ex-friend is like 9 out of 10 of these. constantly twisting words, saying he's never wrong, one-upping my struggles to get his way and make himself look like the victim, and trying to bring people to his side.
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zam
I got 3 out of 10 myself. Someone I ended the friendship with because she drained me mentally, has 5. Someone I fell in love with has 7. This is sad to observe, that toxicity like this exists. Hopefully we all learn from our flaws
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I got 3 out of 10 myself. Someone I ended the friendship with because she drained me mentally, has 5. Someone I fell in love with has 7. This is sad to observe, that toxicity like this exists. Hopefully we all learn from our flaws
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Jason
I was manipulated by my old manager. He knew I looked up to him and greatly respected him, so he used that to make me into the person he wanted me to be and often made me feel that I'll never measure up to his expectations
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I was manipulated by my old manager. He knew I looked up to him and greatly respected him, so he used that to make me into the person he wanted me to be and often made me feel that I'll never measure up to his expectations
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Ali
Well normally in game anyone tried to manipulate me with talking he was think i am gonna fall this but he dont know im an manipulator so i said u can say anything u want i dont care i did best choice?
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Well normally in game anyone tried to manipulate me with talking he was think i am gonna fall this but he dont know im an manipulator so i said u can say anything u want i dont care i did best choice?
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