10 Gaslighting Signs in an Abusive Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Sarah
Afraid. can't keep living this but exhausted first 3 kids r just now adults n moved out we fled from their dad 9 years ago and this guy my 7 yos dad is the same and I've told myself (escalated immediately as I knew yet this weird way my mind is still saying maybe he's nice now day after terrorizing me and my daughter listening to it on headphones is popping me out of it but I feel bottom dropping out feeling every time n I'm feeling sick n so weary I feel like I can't make a move n start what I can't turn back from don't wanna but I'm so tired plus not sure what to do. I want him to leave n somehow legally keep him away but that's scary cause it's not like a cop will watch over us but I'm not losing anything else to this evil everything in house is mine bed he's sleeping on is mine. I'm of course financially dependent on him yet he gives me zero he's bringing just food to last to next day now n nothing I can cook premade stuff n yelling I don't even cook for him. my daughter ordered groceries from outta state for me n Dani n rent just paid n it's idk what to do. leave everything but nowhere to go plus daughter health issues n stressed from just moving set up her first alone room that I have been in every night cause he got bad immediately without older kid to keep line clear. sad why two of them same name first n middle no joke. Why I'm so weary. N confused idk how to choose best for us idk idk idk
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Afraid. can't keep living this but exhausted first 3 kids r just now adults n moved out we fled from their dad 9 years ago and this guy my 7 yos dad is the same and I've told myself (escalated immediately as I knew yet this weird way my mind is still saying maybe he's nice now day after terrorizing me and my daughter listening to it on headphones is popping me out of it but I feel bottom dropping out feeling every time n I'm feeling sick n so weary I feel like I can't make a move n start what I can't turn back from don't wanna but I'm so tired plus not sure what to do. I want him to leave n somehow legally keep him away but that's scary cause it's not like a cop will watch over us but I'm not losing anything else to this evil everything in house is mine bed he's sleeping on is mine. I'm of course financially dependent on him yet he gives me zero he's bringing just food to last to next day now n nothing I can cook premade stuff n yelling I don't even cook for him. my daughter ordered groceries from outta state for me n Dani n rent just paid n it's idk what to do. leave everything but nowhere to go plus daughter health issues n stressed from just moving set up her first alone room that I have been in every night cause he got bad immediately without older kid to keep line clear. sad why two of them same name first n middle no joke. Why I'm so weary. N confused idk how to choose best for us idk idk idk
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CJ
I began opening up to two close friends about what was going on, as I knew I wasnt in a healthy relationship, and questioned if I was even being abused (he was physical with me too, but talked through it in a Im not hurting you at all, Im using zero pressure, youre weak so I doubted that even - even after two near-limb-dislocations - the madness. After I fully recognized all that was going on, it took me time to get the courage to leave I told him how I was going to leave him. Hed forbade it and refused. I kept trusted friends in the loop about my plans and to call for help if you dont hear from me by this time. It took strategy and bit of sneaking around. Works arranging for a dinner for us coworkers but really I was meeting with a friend to discuss living with her until I found my own place. I took a day off work and moved my essentials and my dog and me out, while he was at work.
Everything else got sorted with time. I wasnt by myself when I went to collect the rest of my things, out of my safetys concern. My dog and I are no longer being abused or hurt (he threatened to kill my dog numerous times and hit him so much, and have an adorable, comfy home. The future is uncertain. But, we are safe and happy.
There is hope for all to get out. Sometimes it isnt going to be a clean or easy process, like mine wasnt. But its possible. Youll be so glad you did.
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I began opening up to two close friends about what was going on, as I knew I wasnt in a healthy relationship, and questioned if I was even being abused (he was physical with me too, but talked through it in a Im not hurting you at all, Im using zero pressure, youre weak so I doubted that even - even after two near-limb-dislocations - the madness. After I fully recognized all that was going on, it took me time to get the courage to leave I told him how I was going to leave him. Hed forbade it and refused. I kept trusted friends in the loop about my plans and to call for help if you dont hear from me by this time. It took strategy and bit of sneaking around. Works arranging for a dinner for us coworkers but really I was meeting with a friend to discuss living with her until I found my own place. I took a day off work and moved my essentials and my dog and me out, while he was at work.
Everything else got sorted with time. I wasnt by myself when I went to collect the rest of my things, out of my safetys concern. My dog and I are no longer being abused or hurt (he threatened to kill my dog numerous times and hit him so much, and have an adorable, comfy home. The future is uncertain. But, we are safe and happy.
There is hope for all to get out. Sometimes it isnt going to be a clean or easy process, like mine wasnt. But its possible. Youll be so glad you did.
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SomeCallMeVidal
I hate to admit but im in a new relationship. I was single for 7 years until i meet the girl of my dreams. I pour my whole soul and heart into this relationship. Sadly she blames me for everything all the time. Like we argue cause she thinks im cheating on her. Which im not. One time, she accused me of cheating and she told me to admit. I was like no i dont cheat, i only love you and she took all the love she gave me back. So i just said i did to please her even thou i didnt. Now she uses that on me saying im a cheater and a munipulator. I never cheated and i know i did. Another time, she gave me a gold necklace for our 3 months anniversaty. I didnt wear it the next day cause my job didnt allow it. So later that day i got a haircut and i sent her a picture of my mew haircut. She flipped out cause she thought i was cheating for not wearing the necklace she gave me. I told her that i didnt want to get in trouble at work for wearing it. She didnt believe me. Saying that i domt appreciate her. -sigh- as im typing this, she hasemt message me. I keep sending her messages that im sorry but she keeps not responding. I miss her all the time. Im deeply in love with her. When shes not mad at me, she does give me affection amd love. But she tends to pull that away from me for no reason just to make me cry.
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I hate to admit but im in a new relationship. I was single for 7 years until i meet the girl of my dreams. I pour my whole soul and heart into this relationship. Sadly she blames me for everything all the time. Like we argue cause she thinks im cheating on her. Which im not. One time, she accused me of cheating and she told me to admit. I was like no i dont cheat, i only love you and she took all the love she gave me back. So i just said i did to please her even thou i didnt. Now she uses that on me saying im a cheater and a munipulator. I never cheated and i know i did. Another time, she gave me a gold necklace for our 3 months anniversaty. I didnt wear it the next day cause my job didnt allow it. So later that day i got a haircut and i sent her a picture of my mew haircut. She flipped out cause she thought i was cheating for not wearing the necklace she gave me. I told her that i didnt want to get in trouble at work for wearing it. She didnt believe me. Saying that i domt appreciate her. -sigh- as im typing this, she hasemt message me. I keep sending her messages that im sorry but she keeps not responding. I miss her all the time. Im deeply in love with her. When shes not mad at me, she does give me affection amd love. But she tends to pull that away from me for no reason just to make me cry.
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Cle
My younger sister gaslights me though she would never admit it. In her eyes everything is my fault. I have lived 1, 500 miles away from her for 24 years and she still manipulates. Recently, I sent my niece (her daughter) $250 for her HS graduation. She got it Memorial Day weekend but my niece didnt thank me. My sister didnt text me or call me about how much I sent. I thought she would thank me for such a big check. My father sent money to my niece and she didnt acknowledge that either. A week after she got our checks my father send my niece an email saying she needed to thank me for the $250. Two hours later she called and thanked me. My niece kept saying your breaking up, I cant hear you when I knew she could. Mother like daughter! Still silence from my sister. It really makes me anxious bc I tend to blame myself. I know now thats how Ive been conditioned by my sister.
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My younger sister gaslights me though she would never admit it. In her eyes everything is my fault. I have lived 1, 500 miles away from her for 24 years and she still manipulates. Recently, I sent my niece (her daughter) $250 for her HS graduation. She got it Memorial Day weekend but my niece didnt thank me. My sister didnt text me or call me about how much I sent. I thought she would thank me for such a big check. My father sent money to my niece and she didnt acknowledge that either. A week after she got our checks my father send my niece an email saying she needed to thank me for the $250. Two hours later she called and thanked me. My niece kept saying your breaking up, I cant hear you when I knew she could. Mother like daughter! Still silence from my sister. It really makes me anxious bc I tend to blame myself. I know now thats how Ive been conditioned by my sister.
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Cody
My ex girlfriend did all 10 and unfortunately it took a very long time for me recover from this. The narrator was spot on about how damaging this can be. I remember the moment I began to question my own sanity, doubting myself at every turn, apologizing for everything, shutting down and not talking/sharing with others, and I actually started to think that something was wrong with me. I looked for answers in all the wrong places and that's another thing that the narrator got right. I had already recovered by the time I found this video. But, it still caused a lot of to go off and now I can't help but be absolutely FURIOUS with her! Got to fight the urge to text her and tell her off, lol. But, if you are experiencing this nonsense right now. get the hell out and do not look back. They ain't worth the headache and someday karma will come knockin' on their door.
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My ex girlfriend did all 10 and unfortunately it took a very long time for me recover from this. The narrator was spot on about how damaging this can be. I remember the moment I began to question my own sanity, doubting myself at every turn, apologizing for everything, shutting down and not talking/sharing with others, and I actually started to think that something was wrong with me. I looked for answers in all the wrong places and that's another thing that the narrator got right. I had already recovered by the time I found this video. But, it still caused a lot of to go off and now I can't help but be absolutely FURIOUS with her! Got to fight the urge to text her and tell her off, lol. But, if you are experiencing this nonsense right now. get the hell out and do not look back. They ain't worth the headache and someday karma will come knockin' on their door.
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Big
Recently blocked my mom on everything. my therapist suggestive I try to have a relationship with her again, but it only took 3 days for her to start lying, guilt tripping, and attacking me. I feel like it's my fault. I feel like I should've walked away from the conversation sooner. I asked her simply if we couldn't talk about some things and now she's mad because, and I quote, You're always trying to make everything about you. This was supposed to be about me- from day one. Idk what to do anymore. I just want a normal mom. Why can't I just be good enough for her?
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Recently blocked my mom on everything. my therapist suggestive I try to have a relationship with her again, but it only took 3 days for her to start lying, guilt tripping, and attacking me. I feel like it's my fault. I feel like I should've walked away from the conversation sooner. I asked her simply if we couldn't talk about some things and now she's mad because, and I quote, You're always trying to make everything about you. This was supposed to be about me- from day one. Idk what to do anymore. I just want a normal mom. Why can't I just be good enough for her?
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education
I watched this bc it popped up and bc my ex said i gaslighted her (couldnt give examples how) but now I realise she gaslighted me into thinking Im the bad guy (I think) I was clingy and didnt like one of her friends bc hes the reason my first relationship ended and he and my ex had a thing, idk if thats gaslighting her for being a bit sad and a bit mad about it and then also the cat thing where I didnt want a cat and she basically guilt tripped me into wanting one bc emotional support animal (yet its unhealthy and toxic to rely on your partner)
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I watched this bc it popped up and bc my ex said i gaslighted her (couldnt give examples how) but now I realise she gaslighted me into thinking Im the bad guy (I think) I was clingy and didnt like one of her friends bc hes the reason my first relationship ended and he and my ex had a thing, idk if thats gaslighting her for being a bit sad and a bit mad about it and then also the cat thing where I didnt want a cat and she basically guilt tripped me into wanting one bc emotional support animal (yet its unhealthy and toxic to rely on your partner)
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Honey
My classmates and friends gaslighted me.
They told me mean things everyday at school like: You're useless, Weakling Ugly, Bad, Filthy, And Almost every negative word that has a big impact on me,
They would also use my weakness against me,
I got very depressed and traumatized.
So I confronted them and they told me that they didn't say those things and that I'm just usually silent.
They made me question my own sanity,
I really thought that I was going insane,
This world is sorrounded by a lot of fake people, LITERALLY.
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My classmates and friends gaslighted me.
They told me mean things everyday at school like: You're useless, Weakling Ugly, Bad, Filthy, And Almost every negative word that has a big impact on me,
They would also use my weakness against me,
I got very depressed and traumatized.
So I confronted them and they told me that they didn't say those things and that I'm just usually silent.
They made me question my own sanity,
I really thought that I was going insane,
This world is sorrounded by a lot of fake people, LITERALLY.
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Pardis
I'm so exhausted. I lost 2L of blood two days ago and regardless of the stress and abuse I have received the traffickers are still outside completely untainted and with lots of support smiling and having a great time. I'm not sure where their confidence stems from either. I have changed my hair dye changed location my routines but no positive result from it and all this over my scientific work and nationality. I have no relationship whatsoever with the people doing this. They are just liars.
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I'm so exhausted. I lost 2L of blood two days ago and regardless of the stress and abuse I have received the traffickers are still outside completely untainted and with lots of support smiling and having a great time. I'm not sure where their confidence stems from either. I have changed my hair dye changed location my routines but no positive result from it and all this over my scientific work and nationality. I have no relationship whatsoever with the people doing this. They are just liars.
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psych2go
My whole family is entangled with toxic behavior. Everyone used me as a punching bag to get rid of their hate and despair, later questioning why I got depressed. Sometimes it's better to leave the ship and figure life out alone, just with friends. I got tricked into thinking I was just telling 'stories' till I got a letter from a former psychologist proving what I was perceiving. Folks trust your feelings and thoughts. Run before the spiders poison your soul.
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My whole family is entangled with toxic behavior. Everyone used me as a punching bag to get rid of their hate and despair, later questioning why I got depressed. Sometimes it's better to leave the ship and figure life out alone, just with friends. I got tricked into thinking I was just telling 'stories' till I got a letter from a former psychologist proving what I was perceiving. Folks trust your feelings and thoughts. Run before the spiders poison your soul.
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Lee
i definitely know this has been done to me, but its difficult, because i can also see where he may think i did this to him. I think often those who are in this situation often find their mirror. and it can always be helpful to check yourself too. if everyone stays in their own lane and praises non violent communication and active listening. gas lighting shouldn't become such a painful problem, its mixed into and hiding so many other dysfunctional things.
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i definitely know this has been done to me, but its difficult, because i can also see where he may think i did this to him. I think often those who are in this situation often find their mirror. and it can always be helpful to check yourself too. if everyone stays in their own lane and praises non violent communication and active listening. gas lighting shouldn't become such a painful problem, its mixed into and hiding so many other dysfunctional things.
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Meharunniza
3 happened to me, leading to 4, 5, always 6, 7.
But he's so convinced that he's perfect that he believes he's being gaslighted. I lied for him, on countless occasions.
When I finally spoke about us to my friends and family, from whom I was being isolated for so long, they told me that he was wrong. So very wrong.
Trying to get rid of him now.
Indians, please don't blindly go for an arranged marriage.
I did and paid the price.
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3 happened to me, leading to 4, 5, always 6, 7.
But he's so convinced that he's perfect that he believes he's being gaslighted. I lied for him, on countless occasions.
When I finally spoke about us to my friends and family, from whom I was being isolated for so long, they told me that he was wrong. So very wrong.
Trying to get rid of him now.
Indians, please don't blindly go for an arranged marriage.
I did and paid the price.
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education
If you have to beg for anythingaffection, attention, respect, whatever it is. it's time to leave before it gets worse. Bc it'll only get worse even if you never stop hoping. The bare minimum doesn't ever need to be begged. And please remember: you deserve to feel loved in a way that satisfies you instead of whats just convenient for your partner. Because if they wanted to, I can promise they would. They have no excuses, only lies
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If you have to beg for anythingaffection, attention, respect, whatever it is. it's time to leave before it gets worse. Bc it'll only get worse even if you never stop hoping. The bare minimum doesn't ever need to be begged. And please remember: you deserve to feel loved in a way that satisfies you instead of whats just convenient for your partner. Because if they wanted to, I can promise they would. They have no excuses, only lies
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la
I was constantly manipulated that someone was watching me. throughout. as he asked many unknowns to watch me. As I was in a distant relationship. I was constantly blamed and always under control. 5 years of toxic relationship. I couldn't overcome many trauma he caused to me. I had enough of that. always judged and taken down by him. many things. pain inevitably. couldn't come out. took months to come normal. I think I'm doing good now.
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I was constantly manipulated that someone was watching me. throughout. as he asked many unknowns to watch me. As I was in a distant relationship. I was constantly blamed and always under control. 5 years of toxic relationship. I couldn't overcome many trauma he caused to me. I had enough of that. always judged and taken down by him. many things. pain inevitably. couldn't come out. took months to come normal. I think I'm doing good now.
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zippylucks
I just realized that these were all the things my friend was doing to me for 2 years, and i didnt even notice it until a week ago. I cut ties with him that week, and im benefiting greatly from it. I can now feel more comfortable in myself now that he isnt looming over me all the time. LikeI literally trusted a dude that told me straight to my face that gossiping about people was valid. for 2 years.
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I just realized that these were all the things my friend was doing to me for 2 years, and i didnt even notice it until a week ago. I cut ties with him that week, and im benefiting greatly from it. I can now feel more comfortable in myself now that he isnt looming over me all the time. LikeI literally trusted a dude that told me straight to my face that gossiping about people was valid. for 2 years.
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education
My best advice Ive learned through abuse to anyone watching these videos is that: people CAN and WILL change if taught and instructed properly and not with too much toxic masculinity on either sides. Essentially the gaslighter believes in the gaslightee and vice versa too much divide. People can and will change for the better. Believe that Ive seen it a million times
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My best advice Ive learned through abuse to anyone watching these videos is that: people CAN and WILL change if taught and instructed properly and not with too much toxic masculinity on either sides. Essentially the gaslighter believes in the gaslightee and vice versa too much divide. People can and will change for the better. Believe that Ive seen it a million times
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Da
Recording conversations and setting up a camera in my own home. Simply for my personal sanity. All it does is cause the gaslighter to insist on pulling video. But theres no point because they deny it or claim it was a simple mistake. The purpose is for you yourself to use the recordings as fuel to end the abuse and leave.
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Recording conversations and setting up a camera in my own home. Simply for my personal sanity. All it does is cause the gaslighter to insist on pulling video. But theres no point because they deny it or claim it was a simple mistake. The purpose is for you yourself to use the recordings as fuel to end the abuse and leave.
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christian
My ex isnt from the usa so I was labeled and seen as a generic American not even in the beginning of the relationship like in the middle and since then I havent felt like me or real I am sad all the time and question whats the point in sharing or having new experiences when Im seen as anything but myself
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My ex isnt from the usa so I was labeled and seen as a generic American not even in the beginning of the relationship like in the middle and since then I havent felt like me or real I am sad all the time and question whats the point in sharing or having new experiences when Im seen as anything but myself
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Russell
Is there anyone else who finds many of the common definitions of gaslighting to be a convenient way for a covert narcissist to shift blame and or project it onto the other person (especially an empath) for caring, noticing, and or trying to hold them accountable to even their own personal standards?
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Is there anyone else who finds many of the common definitions of gaslighting to be a convenient way for a covert narcissist to shift blame and or project it onto the other person (especially an empath) for caring, noticing, and or trying to hold them accountable to even their own personal standards?
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Melissa
Very informative video however one thing: nobody can makesomebody lie; however these actions of gaslighting can easily feel some like someone feel pressured into lying would be the correct way to put it. Definitely a legitimate concern.
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Very informative video however one thing: nobody can makesomebody lie; however these actions of gaslighting can easily feel some like someone feel pressured into lying would be the correct way to put it. Definitely a legitimate concern.
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John
I don't even know if I've been gaslighted I think I'm trippin. If I assume I have been then I got to assume there's multiple people in my life doing it. So idk, I'm questioning reality and I really don't know who to trust right now.
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I don't even know if I've been gaslighted I think I'm trippin. If I assume I have been then I got to assume there's multiple people in my life doing it. So idk, I'm questioning reality and I really don't know who to trust right now.
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Thomas
After my mother died, my father married a psychologist. Because of her lofty credentials, I naively assumed that everything she said was true. That made gaslighting easy for her. In this video, she scores 9 out of 10.
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After my mother died, my father married a psychologist. Because of her lofty credentials, I naively assumed that everything she said was true. That made gaslighting easy for her. In this video, she scores 9 out of 10.
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Bertsbug
Just stay single and can't stay by yourself. There is too many bloodsuckers out there nowadays. You're better off just not making any friends and find a lot of things to do by yourself you can keep your Sanity then
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Just stay single and can't stay by yourself. There is too many bloodsuckers out there nowadays. You're better off just not making any friends and find a lot of things to do by yourself you can keep your Sanity then
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Chri
Yes I'm the flawed one. if he does exactly the same it's normal. I'm always in the wrong n he's always right, he's always suffering my day is non important, n if I feel bad it's for nothing
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Yes I'm the flawed one. if he does exactly the same it's normal. I'm always in the wrong n he's always right, he's always suffering my day is non important, n if I feel bad it's for nothing
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Jasmin
What can someone do if they have a mental health diagnosis, but are still being legitimately gaslighted? What if they're being manipulated by the people employed to help them?
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What can someone do if they have a mental health diagnosis, but are still being legitimately gaslighted? What if they're being manipulated by the people employed to help them?
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