Does Closeness Kill Relationships?
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 24
Elaine
this video was kind of confusing. so closeness is referring to how close two are in an emotional connection and identity. but distance is physical proximity? Closeness isn't an issue bc there is a positive correlation with happiness. but personal space is another thing (distance? and distance would cover how often you talk, hang out, and see each other? Idk it sounded like the closeness and distance were interchangeable.
I think with this kind of research the extremes of what too close and too far varies too. So the scale would have to be relative to ones view of normal closeness. So I like how the solution was to match closeness levels with your partner anyway. And it makes sense, it's hard to be in a relationship with someone too clingy or distant to you. but then closeness is another issue right, because now with these terms you can have a good distance but not be close. ugh.
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this video was kind of confusing. so closeness is referring to how close two are in an emotional connection and identity. but distance is physical proximity? Closeness isn't an issue bc there is a positive correlation with happiness. but personal space is another thing (distance? and distance would cover how often you talk, hang out, and see each other? Idk it sounded like the closeness and distance were interchangeable.
I think with this kind of research the extremes of what too close and too far varies too. So the scale would have to be relative to ones view of normal closeness. So I like how the solution was to match closeness levels with your partner anyway. And it makes sense, it's hard to be in a relationship with someone too clingy or distant to you. but then closeness is another issue right, because now with these terms you can have a good distance but not be close. ugh.
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Mosab
Whenever we mention 'closeness in relationships', we must talk about what researchers call 'attachment theory'. People who don't want much closeness in relationships are considered 'Avoidant type'. People who want a lot of closeness and connection in relationships are considered 'Anxious type'. Avoidants are afraid of too much intimacy and closeness and kind of want to be left alone; Anxious are afraid of being abandoned and being alone and want a lot of connection. But we also have the 'Secure type' which isn't afraid of intimacy and closeness and isn't afraid of being alone. But surprisingly, avoidants and anxious usually end up together and confirm each other's insecurities. There's much more, of course, about the theory. You can look it up. I recommend the next books: 1) Attached. 2) Insecure in Love.
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Whenever we mention 'closeness in relationships', we must talk about what researchers call 'attachment theory'. People who don't want much closeness in relationships are considered 'Avoidant type'. People who want a lot of closeness and connection in relationships are considered 'Anxious type'. Avoidants are afraid of too much intimacy and closeness and kind of want to be left alone; Anxious are afraid of being abandoned and being alone and want a lot of connection. But we also have the 'Secure type' which isn't afraid of intimacy and closeness and isn't afraid of being alone. But surprisingly, avoidants and anxious usually end up together and confirm each other's insecurities. There's much more, of course, about the theory. You can look it up. I recommend the next books: 1) Attached. 2) Insecure in Love.
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Mond
I'm getting the point of this but the title should say: does being too similar kill relationship? Distance is neither the right term of this, use the term emotional distance. But it's not compatible with the fact of different personalities. Regardless, your partner is supposed to be your best friend at the same time. Although you do not welcome them, conflicts can make a relationship healthy, but intentionally making emotionally distant is never healthy. But as your relationship progresses over the years, yet you still have your differences, the similar you become until you are both old.
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I'm getting the point of this but the title should say: does being too similar kill relationship? Distance is neither the right term of this, use the term emotional distance. But it's not compatible with the fact of different personalities. Regardless, your partner is supposed to be your best friend at the same time. Although you do not welcome them, conflicts can make a relationship healthy, but intentionally making emotionally distant is never healthy. But as your relationship progresses over the years, yet you still have your differences, the similar you become until you are both old.
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kyouney
jeez what a complicated topic, seems like lots of people here didnt get the main point either saying if you dont want to be around your partner 24/7 youre not in love or saying that being clingy is toxic and will definitely kill the relationship. its about finding a partner who has or will develop just the same needs coming to closeness as you, whatever they may be. for a large group of people that is being a little different in personality/interests/thoughts and having a little distance from time to time. doesnt work for all. thats basically it.
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jeez what a complicated topic, seems like lots of people here didnt get the main point either saying if you dont want to be around your partner 24/7 youre not in love or saying that being clingy is toxic and will definitely kill the relationship. its about finding a partner who has or will develop just the same needs coming to closeness as you, whatever they may be. for a large group of people that is being a little different in personality/interests/thoughts and having a little distance from time to time. doesnt work for all. thats basically it.
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mentaf
my friend can't go a day without seeing her boyfriend AND always talks about him even when she is with her friends. and they fight A LOT, like you have no idea how many times she called me crying. And she is like ah why do we argue so much why can't we be more like you and your boyfriend but we are not some kind of perfect couple? we are just a normal couple? her boyfriend is a good guy and you can see they love each other, but she really needs to learn to be her own person and that having a boyfriend is not everything in life
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my friend can't go a day without seeing her boyfriend AND always talks about him even when she is with her friends. and they fight A LOT, like you have no idea how many times she called me crying. And she is like ah why do we argue so much why can't we be more like you and your boyfriend but we are not some kind of perfect couple? we are just a normal couple? her boyfriend is a good guy and you can see they love each other, but she really needs to learn to be her own person and that having a boyfriend is not everything in life
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Cibum
Soo. How do I do if we crave different amount of closeness?
I personally could spend 100% of my time with my partner and I feel gradually more alone and not prioritized otherwise. This is nothing I can control and for context, in this scenario me and my ex had been together for 18 months.
She however, wanted some space, which I don't believe is weird. It's just that she needs more space than I'm comfortable giving in our relationship.
How does a couple solve this issue?
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Soo. How do I do if we crave different amount of closeness?
I personally could spend 100% of my time with my partner and I feel gradually more alone and not prioritized otherwise. This is nothing I can control and for context, in this scenario me and my ex had been together for 18 months.
She however, wanted some space, which I don't believe is weird. It's just that she needs more space than I'm comfortable giving in our relationship.
How does a couple solve this issue?
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Monica
When I was 16 i had my 1st bf. We would see each other 3 times a week. I thought that was too little, I would miss him. I was unhappy; he was happy and thought that was enough. Due to that we left it. Now I'm in a happy relationship, I'm always missing him, I dont count the days I can't see him because I know that every chance he gets he'll come to me. Honestly I think I would see each the same amount. It's also the way they are towards you that can change the distance.
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When I was 16 i had my 1st bf. We would see each other 3 times a week. I thought that was too little, I would miss him. I was unhappy; he was happy and thought that was enough. Due to that we left it. Now I'm in a happy relationship, I'm always missing him, I dont count the days I can't see him because I know that every chance he gets he'll come to me. Honestly I think I would see each the same amount. It's also the way they are towards you that can change the distance.
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education
This is exactly the issue bw me and my parents. I always need a personal space every twice a day, but a simple close of the door to my room can make them unreasonably angry. They demand me to always keep my doors open so they always know what I am doing, and so they can 'fix' me if I'm not going along my daily schedule.
Now tell me that isn't creepy and suffocating af. I don't even know how to deal with their overeactions.
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This is exactly the issue bw me and my parents. I always need a personal space every twice a day, but a simple close of the door to my room can make them unreasonably angry. They demand me to always keep my doors open so they always know what I am doing, and so they can 'fix' me if I'm not going along my daily schedule.
Now tell me that isn't creepy and suffocating af. I don't even know how to deal with their overeactions.
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Jill
i feel like i might to too close to my boyfriend just because for the most part we are usually talking to each other when we aren't with each other and we have similar friends (we do occasionally hang out with other people with out each other so it's not as suffocating as it seems) i just wonder if anyone else is this way (mind you i don't think we are too close just that in other people's perspective)
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i feel like i might to too close to my boyfriend just because for the most part we are usually talking to each other when we aren't with each other and we have similar friends (we do occasionally hang out with other people with out each other so it's not as suffocating as it seems) i just wonder if anyone else is this way (mind you i don't think we are too close just that in other people's perspective)
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Akitos
Sounds like a good idea, but hard to pull off when you're unstable in terms of how close you'd like to be with someone. I switch between GET OUTTA MY SIGHT and PLEASE DON'T LEAVE all the time. I never know what it'll be like the next day, or even the next minute to be fair D: Finding someone who has the same issue and happens to need closeness/distance at the same time as me is very unrealistic.
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Sounds like a good idea, but hard to pull off when you're unstable in terms of how close you'd like to be with someone. I switch between GET OUTTA MY SIGHT and PLEASE DON'T LEAVE all the time. I never know what it'll be like the next day, or even the next minute to be fair D: Finding someone who has the same issue and happens to need closeness/distance at the same time as me is very unrealistic.
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education
I enjoy being close to my partner and the feeling is mutual between the two of us because we are both very clingy people. I think we cure each others loneliness. To add on to that, we aren't always doing the same thing when we are together. I think just being able to have that special person in the same room is just as nice as quality time where we share an activity
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I enjoy being close to my partner and the feeling is mutual between the two of us because we are both very clingy people. I think we cure each others loneliness. To add on to that, we aren't always doing the same thing when we are together. I think just being able to have that special person in the same room is just as nice as quality time where we share an activity
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Eleni
In my opinion, in relationships people have to deal with the hedgehog's dilemma. A group of porcupines try to get close in order to share heat during winter. However, they will hurt each other with their spines if they get too close. Like porcupines people should be close with their loved ones but they also should try to keep a distance so as they wont hurt each other.
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In my opinion, in relationships people have to deal with the hedgehog's dilemma. A group of porcupines try to get close in order to share heat during winter. However, they will hurt each other with their spines if they get too close. Like porcupines people should be close with their loved ones but they also should try to keep a distance so as they wont hurt each other.
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RedheaD
Wow, this was really amazing. it gave me a lot to think about. There are some people that have no DESIRE to be close, or no DESIRE to be farther away. I think it's equally damaging. Someone who goes Yeah whatever i'll see my girlfriend whenever is equally as problematic as someone who becomes so distraught when they are more than a few steps away. Balance is key!
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Wow, this was really amazing. it gave me a lot to think about. There are some people that have no DESIRE to be close, or no DESIRE to be farther away. I think it's equally damaging. Someone who goes Yeah whatever i'll see my girlfriend whenever is equally as problematic as someone who becomes so distraught when they are more than a few steps away. Balance is key!
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Kamilah
This video is actually just explaining the different effects that the mirroring Personality can cause, whether it's positively or negatively, On certain relationships! But the mirror issue is not something you all might be aware of(mainly if you're under 25. It all depends on how good the Reflected Image is; to then Start measuring the distance that's needed.
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This video is actually just explaining the different effects that the mirroring Personality can cause, whether it's positively or negatively, On certain relationships! But the mirror issue is not something you all might be aware of(mainly if you're under 25. It all depends on how good the Reflected Image is; to then Start measuring the distance that's needed.
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Msmimundo
I always thought this.
It's like, my best friends and I go to the same class. At first we are all happy, but by the end of the grade, is like we get angry more often and ignore each other most times. Then we don't see ourselves in the whole summer and begin classes like best friends again. Is like, the closer we are, the more distant we get
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I always thought this.
It's like, my best friends and I go to the same class. At first we are all happy, but by the end of the grade, is like we get angry more often and ignore each other most times. Then we don't see ourselves in the whole summer and begin classes like best friends again. Is like, the closer we are, the more distant we get
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Gabriela
I think it's true that both closeness and distance can kill a relationship, not only a romantic relationship but it also applies to family, friendship and even work relationships. I think the key is mostly to keep balance of both closeness and distance, and it starts by learning to be independent and love yourself in a healthy way first.
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I think it's true that both closeness and distance can kill a relationship, not only a romantic relationship but it also applies to family, friendship and even work relationships. I think the key is mostly to keep balance of both closeness and distance, and it starts by learning to be independent and love yourself in a healthy way first.
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Anna
No, closeness does not kill relationships. It's the narcissist that kills the relationship. You can be soulmates with a narcissist, but it doesn't mean, you have to stay with them. Same with anyone else. If you need and want that person equally, then it'll work. Love is about comfort between with you and your partner.
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No, closeness does not kill relationships. It's the narcissist that kills the relationship. You can be soulmates with a narcissist, but it doesn't mean, you have to stay with them. Same with anyone else. If you need and want that person equally, then it'll work. Love is about comfort between with you and your partner.
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Jукєя
I need advice. Its been almost a year since ive been with my boyfriend. But lately we wont quit arguing, constantly fighting. Him talking about giving up on me. All that kind of stuff. I feel as though hes too far gone from me now. And i need help on ways i could possibly bring him back closer to me.
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I need advice. Its been almost a year since ive been with my boyfriend. But lately we wont quit arguing, constantly fighting. Him talking about giving up on me. All that kind of stuff. I feel as though hes too far gone from me now. And i need help on ways i could possibly bring him back closer to me.
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Alex
I'm in middle school a I have been with a guy for half the school year and the other quarter broken up, well the rest of my peers were already broken up by a month with their girlfriends or boyfriends and somewhere at the 4th 5th or maybe 6th boyfriend or girlfriend. And this guy was my first boyfriend.
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I'm in middle school a I have been with a guy for half the school year and the other quarter broken up, well the rest of my peers were already broken up by a month with their girlfriends or boyfriends and somewhere at the 4th 5th or maybe 6th boyfriend or girlfriend. And this guy was my first boyfriend.
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Jenna
Me and my best friend are nothing like each other, but both of us are talking to my mother when the other isn't around, and she told me that he's just like me. Like, we buy the same things. We talk about each other the same way. I don't even knkw what is going on beetween us anymore.
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Me and my best friend are nothing like each other, but both of us are talking to my mother when the other isn't around, and she told me that he's just like me. Like, we buy the same things. We talk about each other the same way. I don't even knkw what is going on beetween us anymore.
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lolita
I enjoy being by myself so when I was in a relationship with this man we were together 24/7 also bc we worked together and I wanted some alone time it was so overwhelming omg and he would get a little upset when I told him I needed a day for myself, but he somewhat understood.
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I enjoy being by myself so when I was in a relationship with this man we were together 24/7 also bc we worked together and I wanted some alone time it was so overwhelming omg and he would get a little upset when I told him I needed a day for myself, but he somewhat understood.
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Kyera
My boyfriend and I are close, to the point that in the past we've both been called clingy. We enjoy it though and have discussed needing space for ourselves, friends/family, and school. We're pretty similar, almost alike actually but we have a stable and healthy relationship.
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My boyfriend and I are close, to the point that in the past we've both been called clingy. We enjoy it though and have discussed needing space for ourselves, friends/family, and school. We're pretty similar, almost alike actually but we have a stable and healthy relationship.
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Loli
I once read that when a couple has some space, when they are together again they enrich the relationship, bringing new experiences and new things.
Sometimes too close soffocates the relationship and too far can also be dangerous. Guess the virtue is in the middle ground!
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I once read that when a couple has some space, when they are together again they enrich the relationship, bringing new experiences and new things.
Sometimes too close soffocates the relationship and too far can also be dangerous. Guess the virtue is in the middle ground!
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education
I think I get it. I have felt the closest to people who had a smiliar emotionality and level of sensitivity. But those people were still different from me. Different interests, often also different strengths, some similar interests help of course. Different styles.
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I think I get it. I have felt the closest to people who had a smiliar emotionality and level of sensitivity. But those people were still different from me. Different interests, often also different strengths, some similar interests help of course. Different styles.
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