5 Reasons Why You Don't Need to Be Afraid of Therapy
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1. The therapists are accusatory - There seems to be a lot of blame put back your way, when you explain to them what is wrong. They make it seem like you are the cause of all the problems and you have more control than you're letting on in changing them. It always seems like a character assassination.
2. They are subjective - They seem to only latch on to one bit of information and focus entirely on that. They make assumptions and create their own truth, based on something you have told them. They fill blanks with things that aren't relevant or applicable, when the gaps are usually either there because you've not had a chance to explain the full situation or gaps that didn't exist in the first place. They can end up misdiagonising you or making out that you don't have a problem at all, as they've only concentrated on a certain bit and been very selective of how they look at it. It also feels that they make a decision on what your problem is early on and adjust all the things you tell them to fit in with their theory. I also feel they can belittle the problem you have, as they clearly don't have a full understanding.
3. They are provocative - It really feels like a lot of therapists try to push your buttons and almost mock and ridicule you. I've felt they can be quite smirky and some of what they say is just point-blank insulting and judgemental. This goes back to what I said in a previous point about it being a character assassination, instead of being sympathetic and understanding.
4. They have a very black and white way of thinking - Whatever you say to them, they always seem to resort to the extreme. When you speak negatively about something you must either be saying it hypocritically or you must be the polar opposite E. g. When I told a counsellor I had a fear of being judged she suggested that was because I was judgmental myself? And if you're not THIS than you must be THAT or if you don't agree with THAT you must think THIS.
5. They don't actually offer any sort of support - So after attending 6 or so gruelling appointments to discuss your problems and be criticised, they then suggest what it is YOU need to do to improve things but don't at all offer a helping hand in carrying that out.
I'm sure not all therapists are like this, but with the few I've seen, this was always the case.
Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 24
Meanness
My friend told me he will block me if I don't go to therapist. I had trauma because of bad things mental doctors did in the past. And I saw idea that I could have any illness/disorder as showing me that I'm broken, that I'm a trash. But I tried. He blocked me just after I started. But I continued because through other people I asked to help to talk with him again he said he may be back if I try. But each time someone said I'm fine and I don't need therapy he said I must forget about him. And this caused breakdown and I tried to talk with someone else to find something and show him that I'm really trying, that I'm not lying to them, that there really isn't anything wrong with me. In the end I hate myself, I think I may really have something and just all talking with those people made my want to die. Yeah, talking with mental help people caused suicidal thoughts. And this only proves that they don't care about patients. It's just You are suicidal? We'll talk about it on next visit, please don't text me. Or charging a lot and You don't think you have depression? So you don't. And if I have anything it would still mean I shouldn't exist. If I keep going there I will have even more reasons to die. If I won't go there I will lose a chance to have my friends back so I won't have any reason to live. So yeah, I have only one option left. Only because my friend's therapist said he shouldn't talk with me because I'm stressing him and because I went to those people and just idea of having anything makes me want to die. So yeah, thanks for brainwashing until I don't have anything left in my mind than urge to disappear.
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My friend told me he will block me if I don't go to therapist. I had trauma because of bad things mental doctors did in the past. And I saw idea that I could have any illness/disorder as showing me that I'm broken, that I'm a trash. But I tried. He blocked me just after I started. But I continued because through other people I asked to help to talk with him again he said he may be back if I try. But each time someone said I'm fine and I don't need therapy he said I must forget about him. And this caused breakdown and I tried to talk with someone else to find something and show him that I'm really trying, that I'm not lying to them, that there really isn't anything wrong with me. In the end I hate myself, I think I may really have something and just all talking with those people made my want to die. Yeah, talking with mental help people caused suicidal thoughts. And this only proves that they don't care about patients. It's just You are suicidal? We'll talk about it on next visit, please don't text me. Or charging a lot and You don't think you have depression? So you don't. And if I have anything it would still mean I shouldn't exist. If I keep going there I will have even more reasons to die. If I won't go there I will lose a chance to have my friends back so I won't have any reason to live. So yeah, I have only one option left. Only because my friend's therapist said he shouldn't talk with me because I'm stressing him and because I went to those people and just idea of having anything makes me want to die. So yeah, thanks for brainwashing until I don't have anything left in my mind than urge to disappear.
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Sarah
For me the problem is just that I have a Disorder that I am really embarrassed of and feel really afraid to tell anyone in real life because I am constantly afraid that people will judge me.
I did find a website that offers therapy for exactly that disorder and I could afford it and whatever but I do not want to take that therapy right now because if I pay for it, my parents will see that I payed for an online therapy and I am just too embarrassed to tell them and it is really uncomfortable to talk to my parents about problems that I have.
So I am really stuck in a difficult situation. And I think I will seek therapy as soon as I move out but it is just that it is always getting worse. (it is a physical disorder and nothing like depression or stuff like that, and ok I mean since I am on the internet I guess I can name it. I have skin picking disorder. Means whenever I am really anxious I start picking off the skin of my fingers (yes it sounds disgusting, sorry) and therefore they are just constantly red or covered by band aids because it is just so awful and I do not want anyone in my real life to know. So I am really conflicted because I am also afraid I will never be able to stop if I don't get help soon
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For me the problem is just that I have a Disorder that I am really embarrassed of and feel really afraid to tell anyone in real life because I am constantly afraid that people will judge me.
I did find a website that offers therapy for exactly that disorder and I could afford it and whatever but I do not want to take that therapy right now because if I pay for it, my parents will see that I payed for an online therapy and I am just too embarrassed to tell them and it is really uncomfortable to talk to my parents about problems that I have.
So I am really stuck in a difficult situation. And I think I will seek therapy as soon as I move out but it is just that it is always getting worse. (it is a physical disorder and nothing like depression or stuff like that, and ok I mean since I am on the internet I guess I can name it. I have skin picking disorder. Means whenever I am really anxious I start picking off the skin of my fingers (yes it sounds disgusting, sorry) and therefore they are just constantly red or covered by band aids because it is just so awful and I do not want anyone in my real life to know. So I am really conflicted because I am also afraid I will never be able to stop if I don't get help soon
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Isaac
I strongly believe living in these modern times with the advancement of technology and social media its much easier to succumb to mental health issues due to pressures of success, comparing yourself to your school counterparts that seem to be successful post college and you think youre not because youre working a job you hate, seeing your friends and peers travelling often and youre stuck with all this debt and living in a tiny apartment with 5 other roommates you hate and barely have any savings. Its very easy to feel down & out and give up on life but one day itll get better. At first I always thought therapy was for couples on the verge of a break-up or divorce and for crazy people but taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
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I strongly believe living in these modern times with the advancement of technology and social media its much easier to succumb to mental health issues due to pressures of success, comparing yourself to your school counterparts that seem to be successful post college and you think youre not because youre working a job you hate, seeing your friends and peers travelling often and youre stuck with all this debt and living in a tiny apartment with 5 other roommates you hate and barely have any savings. Its very easy to feel down & out and give up on life but one day itll get better. At first I always thought therapy was for couples on the verge of a break-up or divorce and for crazy people but taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
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Linda
I seem to not be able to open up to my therapist. My therapist gives me an odd feeling. She constantly asks why im isolating myself from everyone, I keep saying I'm not, i just keep to myself most the time. And im not very social. Im usually talking to friends online for help, not my therapist. I've went to the suicide hotline a few times because i had bottled so much up and didnt have the gut to tell my therapist. I feel more comfortable talking by text or a call. I only have one friend that I've went to for help, She has depression and she's suicidal just like me. We're both in therapy but open up more to each other then our therapists.
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I seem to not be able to open up to my therapist. My therapist gives me an odd feeling. She constantly asks why im isolating myself from everyone, I keep saying I'm not, i just keep to myself most the time. And im not very social. Im usually talking to friends online for help, not my therapist. I've went to the suicide hotline a few times because i had bottled so much up and didnt have the gut to tell my therapist. I feel more comfortable talking by text or a call. I only have one friend that I've went to for help, She has depression and she's suicidal just like me. We're both in therapy but open up more to each other then our therapists.
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Iris
I have a problem with my mom because she is so convinced that therapy wouldn't help her. She thinks that doctors won't tell her anything she doesn't already know and they'll just put her on pills that will make her bloated and gain weight. She's depressed and we all know it but she just doesn't accept that therapy will help. Instead, she dumps everything on me. So I'm thinking about going to therapy because of her. I don't even know what is or isn't wrong with me thanks to all that. Also makes me think that therapy might not help ME because it would help me more if SHE got therapy. I'm so tired of going in circles with her.
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I have a problem with my mom because she is so convinced that therapy wouldn't help her. She thinks that doctors won't tell her anything she doesn't already know and they'll just put her on pills that will make her bloated and gain weight. She's depressed and we all know it but she just doesn't accept that therapy will help. Instead, she dumps everything on me. So I'm thinking about going to therapy because of her. I don't even know what is or isn't wrong with me thanks to all that. Also makes me think that therapy might not help ME because it would help me more if SHE got therapy. I'm so tired of going in circles with her.
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Theobald
I tried talking to someone (dunno if they were a therapist, councillor, etc) a few times. But the two recent times, made me really hesitant
1. I was talking to someone, about a problem that didnt affect me as much as others. And she always focused on that, even if I tried talking about another problem. So Im afraid, that the same thing, would happen again
2. Whenever I talked to the school counsellor, about how my dad was treating me. He made the problem smaller. As in, he thought it was normal parenting. So Im afraid, that when/if I see another person, that theyll end up doing the same thing
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I tried talking to someone (dunno if they were a therapist, councillor, etc) a few times. But the two recent times, made me really hesitant
1. I was talking to someone, about a problem that didnt affect me as much as others. And she always focused on that, even if I tried talking about another problem. So Im afraid, that the same thing, would happen again
2. Whenever I talked to the school counsellor, about how my dad was treating me. He made the problem smaller. As in, he thought it was normal parenting. So Im afraid, that when/if I see another person, that theyll end up doing the same thing
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Forrest
My therapist told my parents that they should kick me out because I don't have a job. I'm German and sixteen years old, graduated after 10th grade.
Also, he didn't exactly say this but he told my dad that he would kick his son out it he wasn't getting a job like I do.
I just, I don't know what I should do and I don't have the courage to start anything because I'm afraid of being unhappy.
And yes, I do want to change my therapist but I'm afraid of what my parents will say, since my mom thought about kicking me out before and I'm afraid she would do that
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My therapist told my parents that they should kick me out because I don't have a job. I'm German and sixteen years old, graduated after 10th grade.
Also, he didn't exactly say this but he told my dad that he would kick his son out it he wasn't getting a job like I do.
I just, I don't know what I should do and I don't have the courage to start anything because I'm afraid of being unhappy.
And yes, I do want to change my therapist but I'm afraid of what my parents will say, since my mom thought about kicking me out before and I'm afraid she would do that
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Katie
I have my first appointment in 5 days. Im scared and nervous. I just got out of a really terrible relationship and my family and friends suggested that I get help. I have panic attacks and anxiety whenever I have to talk about the subject. How in the world am I supposed to talk to a complete stranger about it? And them understand and accept me? Wont they judge me? Ill cry and I dont cry in-front of people. It has to be over zoom because of quarantine. Im so nervous yet Im the one the pushed for the appointment.
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I have my first appointment in 5 days. Im scared and nervous. I just got out of a really terrible relationship and my family and friends suggested that I get help. I have panic attacks and anxiety whenever I have to talk about the subject. How in the world am I supposed to talk to a complete stranger about it? And them understand and accept me? Wont they judge me? Ill cry and I dont cry in-front of people. It has to be over zoom because of quarantine. Im so nervous yet Im the one the pushed for the appointment.
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Shalya
At first I hated the Idea of my husband and my nephew telling me I should see a therapist and I kept telling them nothing was wrong with me and Id argue with them. But I eventually went and i felt great. I understood I had a lot of flaws and therapy help me overcome many of them. Although I think my husband and nephew was overreacting, I realized that they were just trying to help and they cared about me. Im happy they helped me before it got worse because I dont think I wouldve been the same as I was ever.
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At first I hated the Idea of my husband and my nephew telling me I should see a therapist and I kept telling them nothing was wrong with me and Id argue with them. But I eventually went and i felt great. I understood I had a lot of flaws and therapy help me overcome many of them. Although I think my husband and nephew was overreacting, I realized that they were just trying to help and they cared about me. Im happy they helped me before it got worse because I dont think I wouldve been the same as I was ever.
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NotSoBright
Recently, my mum has been telling me that she wants me to see a psychiatrist or a mental health professional cuz shes been noticing how mentally drained I've been. But the thing is, I'm afraid of going, and I feel like my reasons and problems are invalid. I fear they'll judge me. However, I've been wanting to see a therapist for a long time. I dont think i can improve by myself. I have bulimia, self harmed and maybe. depression? I dunno. But what I know is that I've lost purpose, making me seem lazy
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Recently, my mum has been telling me that she wants me to see a psychiatrist or a mental health professional cuz shes been noticing how mentally drained I've been. But the thing is, I'm afraid of going, and I feel like my reasons and problems are invalid. I fear they'll judge me. However, I've been wanting to see a therapist for a long time. I dont think i can improve by myself. I have bulimia, self harmed and maybe. depression? I dunno. But what I know is that I've lost purpose, making me seem lazy
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Ultimateswag123
I dont mind talking about therapy with my friends and siblings but i do find it hard to talk about with my parents.
Because when i say i have a mental disorder, people think of psychopathy and schizophrenia and i dont have this fear for my close friends, but i do fear being judge by my parents.
I find it uncomfortable to talk about my social anxiety and OCD. And saying i need therapy makes me feel like they will view me differently.
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I dont mind talking about therapy with my friends and siblings but i do find it hard to talk about with my parents.
Because when i say i have a mental disorder, people think of psychopathy and schizophrenia and i dont have this fear for my close friends, but i do fear being judge by my parents.
I find it uncomfortable to talk about my social anxiety and OCD. And saying i need therapy makes me feel like they will view me differently.
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T'is
My biggest issue has been finding a therapist that's either religiously unbiased (as in they practice whatever religion they want, but don't mention it in therapy, or doesn't believe in god.
I live in a rural small town in texas. Everyone here is very, very Christian. My first counselling session was uncomfortable to me because of how much the counselor talked about god, and even had me and my mom, who was there for the session, pray at the end.
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My biggest issue has been finding a therapist that's either religiously unbiased (as in they practice whatever religion they want, but don't mention it in therapy, or doesn't believe in god.
I live in a rural small town in texas. Everyone here is very, very Christian. My first counselling session was uncomfortable to me because of how much the counselor talked about god, and even had me and my mom, who was there for the session, pray at the end.
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kikii
can you give me some advice please? Because i have had depression and other things since I can remember i kind off want to go to therapy but i don't think therapy would work for me because I know I would lie to my therapist about stuff. and I have a really really hard time talking about my feelings. plus I don't have a supportive family and I don't want them to know that I am going through stuff. can you give me some advice please: c
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can you give me some advice please? Because i have had depression and other things since I can remember i kind off want to go to therapy but i don't think therapy would work for me because I know I would lie to my therapist about stuff. and I have a really really hard time talking about my feelings. plus I don't have a supportive family and I don't want them to know that I am going through stuff. can you give me some advice please: c
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Bird
My first therapist was wonderful and lovely, eager to help me. But she didn't work in my mom's favour so that one was cancelled. Then we moved and I tried again, you won't believe it, this dude thought my problems weren't spicy enough and tried to convince me that I had been raped by my parents. Welp that moment he got a taste of my anger issues and now I'm scared of seeking help cause I fear that stuff happens again
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My first therapist was wonderful and lovely, eager to help me. But she didn't work in my mom's favour so that one was cancelled. Then we moved and I tried again, you won't believe it, this dude thought my problems weren't spicy enough and tried to convince me that I had been raped by my parents. Welp that moment he got a taste of my anger issues and now I'm scared of seeking help cause I fear that stuff happens again
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Laura
I am finally seeking out therapy recently after like seven or so months of not seeking help. My mental health seems (or so it feels) to be declining. And for so long, growing up, as a Christian, I felt like therapy wasn't Biblical. But a few days ago, from fellow Christians (and Christian therapists, I found out it is okay to seek a therapist so my whole mindset is changed from that opinion.
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I am finally seeking out therapy recently after like seven or so months of not seeking help. My mental health seems (or so it feels) to be declining. And for so long, growing up, as a Christian, I felt like therapy wasn't Biblical. But a few days ago, from fellow Christians (and Christian therapists, I found out it is okay to seek a therapist so my whole mindset is changed from that opinion.
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Rameji
I wanted to seek help for years now but at first I was too anxious (and still am) about my family finding out that I need therapy because I was still a student and living at home at that time. and now I don't have any time for therapy at all. It's already bad enough but stress just keeps adding up and I don't have the time, money and energy to deal with it. :/
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I wanted to seek help for years now but at first I was too anxious (and still am) about my family finding out that I need therapy because I was still a student and living at home at that time. and now I don't have any time for therapy at all. It's already bad enough but stress just keeps adding up and I don't have the time, money and energy to deal with it. :/
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Weiner-
After 1 and a half year of being out of therapy, I am planning on going back. I quit therapy because of an event that my old therapist had caused and has caused great suffering for me. I know I need help right now but I have been so scared to share my thoughts with people. Though, i'm going to try and tough it out and I guess I'll see how it goes.
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After 1 and a half year of being out of therapy, I am planning on going back. I quit therapy because of an event that my old therapist had caused and has caused great suffering for me. I know I need help right now but I have been so scared to share my thoughts with people. Though, i'm going to try and tough it out and I guess I'll see how it goes.
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Jamya
I hate therapy because my mom is forcing me and I feel like they dont care I wanted a friend or family member who I ready know. but I have a really good friend who was living close and moved to Ohio with his dad and we talk every day because we have had some of the same problems in our life and I still get dragged to therapy
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I hate therapy because my mom is forcing me and I feel like they dont care I wanted a friend or family member who I ready know. but I have a really good friend who was living close and moved to Ohio with his dad and we talk every day because we have had some of the same problems in our life and I still get dragged to therapy
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sanneke
I really struggle with going or not going. Im still in college and dont work at the moment, but i feel that i need help. The only problem, is that i dont want it. i want to finish school first, but i dont know if im ready then. i dont want to go to therapy but i feel that i dont have a choice. What should i do?
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I really struggle with going or not going. Im still in college and dont work at the moment, but i feel that i need help. The only problem, is that i dont want it. i want to finish school first, but i dont know if im ready then. i dont want to go to therapy but i feel that i dont have a choice. What should i do?
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MegaHertzMHz
Thanks for all your videos! I haven't seen every video, but only the ones I rely on. Can we pass therapy if we talk to friends? I tried talking about my mental health to my friends but they keep ignoring it. So I guess I have my answer, but I'm constantly asking myself if A or B. So, therapy or friends?
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Thanks for all your videos! I haven't seen every video, but only the ones I rely on. Can we pass therapy if we talk to friends? I tried talking about my mental health to my friends but they keep ignoring it. So I guess I have my answer, but I'm constantly asking myself if A or B. So, therapy or friends?
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Oxy
Talking to a therapist feels weird.
When the therapist asked me what I wanted to talk about today. I just didnt know what to say. I dont feel. good? Telling my thoughts to someone I dont even know.
After my first session it just felt. awkward? You know? Almost the whole session was a awkward silence.
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Talking to a therapist feels weird.
When the therapist asked me what I wanted to talk about today. I just didnt know what to say. I dont feel. good? Telling my thoughts to someone I dont even know.
After my first session it just felt. awkward? You know? Almost the whole session was a awkward silence.
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Carrie
I have a question? Is this depression? I don't feel sad and I don't feel happy. I just feel empty and emotionless. It's like I have to plaster emotions on my face to make people believe what I'm saying or whatever. It confuses me, I don't know if it's depression or if it's a side affect of my anxiety.
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I have a question? Is this depression? I don't feel sad and I don't feel happy. I just feel empty and emotionless. It's like I have to plaster emotions on my face to make people believe what I'm saying or whatever. It confuses me, I don't know if it's depression or if it's a side affect of my anxiety.
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TThief
I'm scared to tell anyone how I truly feel. I can't tell my closest friends so why would I be able to tell a random person. I'm scared I'll never get the help I need. My anxiety is out of control and just getting worse by the day but idk how to speak up
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I'm scared to tell anyone how I truly feel. I can't tell my closest friends so why would I be able to tell a random person. I'm scared I'll never get the help I need. My anxiety is out of control and just getting worse by the day but idk how to speak up
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reila
I'm not afraid of therapy, I always wanted to have therapy, it's like one of my wishes so that I can end this anxiety, I really really want to end this but I can't tell it to my friends and family because I think they'll criticsize me or something
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I'm not afraid of therapy, I always wanted to have therapy, it's like one of my wishes so that I can end this anxiety, I really really want to end this but I can't tell it to my friends and family because I think they'll criticsize me or something
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