5 Toxic People To Walk Away From
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Claudia
I gave this video a chance despite disliking them for simplifying and categorizing human beings. Even though there are bad cases, hopeless cases even, and one may be too weak in various ways to deal with others' unfortunate behaviours and ways.
But often it is not vicious but they are unhappy, unaware, stuck in bad patterns, depressed, sick/imbalanced healthwise lost etc, and
I question how good and humane people are themselves when just cutting someone off and out like you suggest, treating them like worthless rubbish. We are often unaware opf our blnd spots and need some correction. Cutting others out like you suggest is rather toxic and selfish in itself, and doesn't bring humanity any forward. How would YOU feel if you were treated that way and did not know why? Hope you reflect and reply. There are different aspects to things.
I think there should be some discernment and humanity.
F ex. practice to at least:
1. Tell them how their. .name the behaviour or attitude - makes you feel.
2. Ask if they are aware of it not being viable/nice.
3. Ask if there is something lying behind it, which they could do/say instead.
4. Warn them that you have serious issue with the behaviour they show, and can't have it in your life, and ask them to (ex)change it-. Or else you might have to leave the relationship/contact.
5. ask yourself what in you might attract the behaviour. Is there something YOU do to attract it, are on the same vibration unconsciously? Because often, people don't behave the same way with everybody, but we bring out different parts/traits in each other.
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I gave this video a chance despite disliking them for simplifying and categorizing human beings. Even though there are bad cases, hopeless cases even, and one may be too weak in various ways to deal with others' unfortunate behaviours and ways.
But often it is not vicious but they are unhappy, unaware, stuck in bad patterns, depressed, sick/imbalanced healthwise lost etc, and
I question how good and humane people are themselves when just cutting someone off and out like you suggest, treating them like worthless rubbish. We are often unaware opf our blnd spots and need some correction. Cutting others out like you suggest is rather toxic and selfish in itself, and doesn't bring humanity any forward. How would YOU feel if you were treated that way and did not know why? Hope you reflect and reply. There are different aspects to things.
I think there should be some discernment and humanity.
F ex. practice to at least:
1. Tell them how their. .name the behaviour or attitude - makes you feel.
2. Ask if they are aware of it not being viable/nice.
3. Ask if there is something lying behind it, which they could do/say instead.
4. Warn them that you have serious issue with the behaviour they show, and can't have it in your life, and ask them to (ex)change it-. Or else you might have to leave the relationship/contact.
5. ask yourself what in you might attract the behaviour. Is there something YOU do to attract it, are on the same vibration unconsciously? Because often, people don't behave the same way with everybody, but we bring out different parts/traits in each other.
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CHARLES
This week I told my subs what the criteria is to exit someone from you life. I've had to do this three times in the last three years and all three were friends for over 20 years. But people change--or you change and progress and have to leave those who won't behind. For example, as a former alcoholic now clean well over a decade, I had to lose someone who wasn't an alcoholic but continued to live in a life of chaos. Which was normal in my old days and not so much in the new ones. 27 years we were friends and I had to move on. But this is what you look for.
Are they a substance abuser? If yes lose them. You cannot progress hanging around addicts and that includes family--actually all of this includes even family
Do you dread seeing them and are relieved when you leave? You are under no obligation to spend time around people you don't wish to--even if it hurts their feelings
Are they a cauldron of negativity? Negativity is like a virus--it will flow into you as well.
Are they enhancing your life or not? Simple. If they are enhancing you then they are worth your time--if not, find better people.
That was my message this week in a nutshell and I hope it helps someone here as well.
Charles
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This week I told my subs what the criteria is to exit someone from you life. I've had to do this three times in the last three years and all three were friends for over 20 years. But people change--or you change and progress and have to leave those who won't behind. For example, as a former alcoholic now clean well over a decade, I had to lose someone who wasn't an alcoholic but continued to live in a life of chaos. Which was normal in my old days and not so much in the new ones. 27 years we were friends and I had to move on. But this is what you look for.
Are they a substance abuser? If yes lose them. You cannot progress hanging around addicts and that includes family--actually all of this includes even family
Do you dread seeing them and are relieved when you leave? You are under no obligation to spend time around people you don't wish to--even if it hurts their feelings
Are they a cauldron of negativity? Negativity is like a virus--it will flow into you as well.
Are they enhancing your life or not? Simple. If they are enhancing you then they are worth your time--if not, find better people.
That was my message this week in a nutshell and I hope it helps someone here as well.
Charles
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Maggie
I'm here because my sister has had a total personality change over the last few years. Our relationship was never perfect, but we used to have inside jokes and be able to talk for hours some nights. But she went to college and changed, and not in a good way. She came back throwing extreme tantrums where she would yell for hours about something small. Now she doesn't have such extreme screaming fits, but the last few times she visited, it's still felt like walking on eggshells around her, and she also hasn't shown any desire to spend time with me, and even treated me like her feelings mattered only, not mine, anytime. It was like being swept under the rug. At first I was worried about her, but now I'm just sick of being treated like I'm not important or wanted. I'm looking for people who prioritize me and treat me as an equal. It sucks because this is my sister I'm talking about here, but I'm sick of being treated this way. Unless she realizes what she's doing is wrong and is willing to work on it, I'm almost at the point where I just don't want to spend time with her. I hope things get better though.
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I'm here because my sister has had a total personality change over the last few years. Our relationship was never perfect, but we used to have inside jokes and be able to talk for hours some nights. But she went to college and changed, and not in a good way. She came back throwing extreme tantrums where she would yell for hours about something small. Now she doesn't have such extreme screaming fits, but the last few times she visited, it's still felt like walking on eggshells around her, and she also hasn't shown any desire to spend time with me, and even treated me like her feelings mattered only, not mine, anytime. It was like being swept under the rug. At first I was worried about her, but now I'm just sick of being treated like I'm not important or wanted. I'm looking for people who prioritize me and treat me as an equal. It sucks because this is my sister I'm talking about here, but I'm sick of being treated this way. Unless she realizes what she's doing is wrong and is willing to work on it, I'm almost at the point where I just don't want to spend time with her. I hope things get better though.
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education
I think some of these videos can be misleading, the things you describe here doesn't mean that that person is 100% toxic, bad or unlovable because they may have a few things wrong with them, some of what you're describing is symptomatic behavior from, ptsd, depression, abuse etc. Al lot of people who have been hurt may do some of the same things as someone who IS TOXIC or someone you should just WALK AWAY FROM. but it doesn't mean they ARE toxic or unworthy of peoples love or attention. A person may show these traits if they have been hurt, abandoned or betrayed by people they have loved and desperately need someone to stick with them and help them not just abandon them because the are broken. A lot of these traits if not all can be a sign of mental illness and you're advising people to just turn their backs on another human who may be suffering just because they seem toxic, that's the problem today too much judgement and narrow mindedness. No love or compassion. Nobody wants to understand or help people anymore
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I think some of these videos can be misleading, the things you describe here doesn't mean that that person is 100% toxic, bad or unlovable because they may have a few things wrong with them, some of what you're describing is symptomatic behavior from, ptsd, depression, abuse etc. Al lot of people who have been hurt may do some of the same things as someone who IS TOXIC or someone you should just WALK AWAY FROM. but it doesn't mean they ARE toxic or unworthy of peoples love or attention. A person may show these traits if they have been hurt, abandoned or betrayed by people they have loved and desperately need someone to stick with them and help them not just abandon them because the are broken. A lot of these traits if not all can be a sign of mental illness and you're advising people to just turn their backs on another human who may be suffering just because they seem toxic, that's the problem today too much judgement and narrow mindedness. No love or compassion. Nobody wants to understand or help people anymore
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James
I've gotten to the point where I'm beginning to cut off nearly everyone these days, due to the overwhelming amount of narcissistic behavior from everywhere lately. Apparently this seems to be the new trend, along with being hypocritical and attempting to glamorize mental illness. Too many seem to be hell bent on doing whatever gets them attention regardless of the damage it does to those around them.
This type of behavior makes me literally I'll, and I'm at a place where I'd just rather be alone anymore. because it seems that everyone has a hidden agenda, and nobody seems to be able to just be real anymore. SMH. I truly believe that before much longer I will have to make the choice to just be alone for good. both romantically and platonically speaking. It's the only safe alternative, in a world where it's become mainstream to abuse others in order to get ahead, or just to maintain the status quo.
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I've gotten to the point where I'm beginning to cut off nearly everyone these days, due to the overwhelming amount of narcissistic behavior from everywhere lately. Apparently this seems to be the new trend, along with being hypocritical and attempting to glamorize mental illness. Too many seem to be hell bent on doing whatever gets them attention regardless of the damage it does to those around them.
This type of behavior makes me literally I'll, and I'm at a place where I'd just rather be alone anymore. because it seems that everyone has a hidden agenda, and nobody seems to be able to just be real anymore. SMH. I truly believe that before much longer I will have to make the choice to just be alone for good. both romantically and platonically speaking. It's the only safe alternative, in a world where it's become mainstream to abuse others in order to get ahead, or just to maintain the status quo.
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Red_Scarey
All this time, I thought that I could help a friend who has posted many times over the years about how she could just disappear and nobody would give a damn. She gets her reassurances from friends that she's a good person, awesome, whatever, but those don't seem to have given her enough reasons to actually change for the better. She continues to post things about how irrelevant she feels, or how her husband treats her. She may be in therapy now. I just don't feel like I can be a real friend to her anymore. I don't believe in coddling someone's insecurities when they make no apparent effort to heal themselves. I try to offer advice when I can, yet it's reached the point where, for being a long-distance friendship that I've had for several years, I just don't feel any true connection like I've been trying to maintain.
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All this time, I thought that I could help a friend who has posted many times over the years about how she could just disappear and nobody would give a damn. She gets her reassurances from friends that she's a good person, awesome, whatever, but those don't seem to have given her enough reasons to actually change for the better. She continues to post things about how irrelevant she feels, or how her husband treats her. She may be in therapy now. I just don't feel like I can be a real friend to her anymore. I don't believe in coddling someone's insecurities when they make no apparent effort to heal themselves. I try to offer advice when I can, yet it's reached the point where, for being a long-distance friendship that I've had for several years, I just don't feel any true connection like I've been trying to maintain.
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Not
life tip: don't interact with those edgy haha hentai funny girls with peepee funny type people because they are toxic as all HELL! they'll rope you in with the edgy humour. then the Jokes start getting stale and their mask starts to peel off and you start contemplating if you should just unfriend them. then they keep you in by constantly telling you how shitty their life is and how no one loves them and that they do self harm. then they start sending you pictures of their self harm and acting like that's just something a sane person would do. then they try to show and tell you and just in general things that will slowly break you down until you're a sad moping piece of shit like them.
so if you feel discouraged from leaving a toxic friendship just because the person is deppressed just don't. go with your gut and leave
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life tip: don't interact with those edgy haha hentai funny girls with peepee funny type people because they are toxic as all HELL! they'll rope you in with the edgy humour. then the Jokes start getting stale and their mask starts to peel off and you start contemplating if you should just unfriend them. then they keep you in by constantly telling you how shitty their life is and how no one loves them and that they do self harm. then they start sending you pictures of their self harm and acting like that's just something a sane person would do. then they try to show and tell you and just in general things that will slowly break you down until you're a sad moping piece of shit like them.
so if you feel discouraged from leaving a toxic friendship just because the person is deppressed just don't. go with your gut and leave
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12DAMDO
what i hate about these type of videos is that you can't just walk away from your family. like, these type of videos treat people like they're just acquaintances and doesn't seem to understand that if a toxic person is inside your life, they're INside your life. cutting off people is an unrealistic power fantasy made up by people who most likely never went through a situation where they can't just walk away from it. it's kinda like that meme getting mugged? just say no! your mugger can't legally take your possessions without your consent or like feeling depressed? just stop being sad
that's like, my one flaw with this genre of videos. other than that, i think it's still important to be able to identify a problem before it escalates
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what i hate about these type of videos is that you can't just walk away from your family. like, these type of videos treat people like they're just acquaintances and doesn't seem to understand that if a toxic person is inside your life, they're INside your life. cutting off people is an unrealistic power fantasy made up by people who most likely never went through a situation where they can't just walk away from it. it's kinda like that meme getting mugged? just say no! your mugger can't legally take your possessions without your consent or like feeling depressed? just stop being sad
that's like, my one flaw with this genre of videos. other than that, i think it's still important to be able to identify a problem before it escalates
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Chrysanthi
I have a friend that idk if they are a true friend or toxic I mean they make me feel bad abt myself, they don't let me do things that makes me happy, arent there for me e. t. c but sometimes they are kind, funny and they look like they care abt me so idk. I want to get rid of them cause I want to be free but they have some cringe/funny pics with me and they know my biggest secrets(when we first met they were so kind but then they changed)Plus when people make them mad or sad or leave them they show their bffs cringe pics with them and tell some of their secrets so yeah I'm afraid. they don't delete the pics. idk what to do please tell me
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I have a friend that idk if they are a true friend or toxic I mean they make me feel bad abt myself, they don't let me do things that makes me happy, arent there for me e. t. c but sometimes they are kind, funny and they look like they care abt me so idk. I want to get rid of them cause I want to be free but they have some cringe/funny pics with me and they know my biggest secrets(when we first met they were so kind but then they changed)Plus when people make them mad or sad or leave them they show their bffs cringe pics with them and tell some of their secrets so yeah I'm afraid. they don't delete the pics. idk what to do please tell me
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stqrsii
i have this one friend that always lie like she said she was american, gurl i asked your mom and dad if you american they said no. then she lies about her parents, she said her dad died and 4 weeks later she is at her dad's place. then she lies about where she goes on vacation, she said she went to New York but gurl i saw on your snap you were still where you actually live (france) she lies about everything and she is so angry for nothing, so energetic in the morning like she would literally slap us, one day i went home with bruises all over my arms and legs just because of her. and one day she would insult me, make me cry and all
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i have this one friend that always lie like she said she was american, gurl i asked your mom and dad if you american they said no. then she lies about her parents, she said her dad died and 4 weeks later she is at her dad's place. then she lies about where she goes on vacation, she said she went to New York but gurl i saw on your snap you were still where you actually live (france) she lies about everything and she is so angry for nothing, so energetic in the morning like she would literally slap us, one day i went home with bruises all over my arms and legs just because of her. and one day she would insult me, make me cry and all
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Shirley
Better to be alone than trust in anyone, most not all but seem to be like everyone else, hard to trust anyone these days. there's a few sweeties tho that I so want to trust in (just been used to much) and they are the one's that make life better tho my guard is still up, like waiting for the other shoe to drop, most people just usually let me down and use my kindness and calls me names. verbal abuse! Try to bring me down so they'll feel better about themselves, such sad people and the world is full of them! If I stand up for myself I'm looked down upon how dare you not just lay there and take it NOT NO MORE!
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Better to be alone than trust in anyone, most not all but seem to be like everyone else, hard to trust anyone these days. there's a few sweeties tho that I so want to trust in (just been used to much) and they are the one's that make life better tho my guard is still up, like waiting for the other shoe to drop, most people just usually let me down and use my kindness and calls me names. verbal abuse! Try to bring me down so they'll feel better about themselves, such sad people and the world is full of them! If I stand up for myself I'm looked down upon how dare you not just lay there and take it NOT NO MORE!
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Bravemoon
What if there is a great person, loving, caring, giving. But extremely exhausted, so he becomes cynical, pessimistic, and whining? Im talking about my husband, we have two young kids, one of them is a real challenge. Husband struggles with the kid. And dont forget those childhood traumas. And I become toxic too, despite the fact that normally Im really good to others. Its just the exhaustion. I wouldnt want my beloved one to leave me because of all this. I consider these issues temporary. And those people on the video, I bet they are not always the same. Maybe thats traumas and tiredness talking.
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What if there is a great person, loving, caring, giving. But extremely exhausted, so he becomes cynical, pessimistic, and whining? Im talking about my husband, we have two young kids, one of them is a real challenge. Husband struggles with the kid. And dont forget those childhood traumas. And I become toxic too, despite the fact that normally Im really good to others. Its just the exhaustion. I wouldnt want my beloved one to leave me because of all this. I consider these issues temporary. And those people on the video, I bet they are not always the same. Maybe thats traumas and tiredness talking.
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Artistic
I had a best friend for 4 years in middle school who friended a bully who would bully me and she would join along with it. They would purposely ignore me, harass me, thow away my drawing i used to give to her, and they would falsely accuse me of stuff I didn't even do. It got so bad to the point I had to end the friendship. And whenever she wasn't around the bully she would be nice to me. Thinking about it I think the two were jealous of me over something. But it's been 5 years and I'm so glad that girl isn't in my life anymore.
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I had a best friend for 4 years in middle school who friended a bully who would bully me and she would join along with it. They would purposely ignore me, harass me, thow away my drawing i used to give to her, and they would falsely accuse me of stuff I didn't even do. It got so bad to the point I had to end the friendship. And whenever she wasn't around the bully she would be nice to me. Thinking about it I think the two were jealous of me over something. But it's been 5 years and I'm so glad that girl isn't in my life anymore.
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Evita
Your video's are spot on. till this day my parents have damaged me and i'm a full grown adult still feeling the insecurity of never being good enough. The thing is they dont even know they did this. I hurt myself in my teen years just because i didnt want to feel worthless like they made me feel by saying hurtfull things. I rather feel the physical pain then the emotional one. The only reason im sharing this is to warn new parents that they need to choose their words carefully: ) Hope no one feels offended by this.
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Your video's are spot on. till this day my parents have damaged me and i'm a full grown adult still feeling the insecurity of never being good enough. The thing is they dont even know they did this. I hurt myself in my teen years just because i didnt want to feel worthless like they made me feel by saying hurtfull things. I rather feel the physical pain then the emotional one. The only reason im sharing this is to warn new parents that they need to choose their words carefully: ) Hope no one feels offended by this.
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psych2go
There's this girl, we've got a complicated history but she's never really around and she just straight up ignores me, or just doesn't seem interested in talking but when I can't talk or so on she thinks that I don't want to talk to her or even want her around. We both struggle with mental health issues and sometimes I feel like she uses that as an excuse to treat me like trash and take advantage of me
But I feel horrible for even thinking of that so I keep letting her back in
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There's this girl, we've got a complicated history but she's never really around and she just straight up ignores me, or just doesn't seem interested in talking but when I can't talk or so on she thinks that I don't want to talk to her or even want her around. We both struggle with mental health issues and sometimes I feel like she uses that as an excuse to treat me like trash and take advantage of me
But I feel horrible for even thinking of that so I keep letting her back in
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Jul'o_Ghst
Actually, about type 2, I was one of them, but I changed, so sometimes, you just need to listen to what they say and how they say it, if they keep talking about their negativity and pessimism to you and doesn't order you to leave immediately, they are probably trying to vent their emotions and they didn't find another way to it. But the ones who take pleasure in it or are mean just to be it should be ignored, most of the time.
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Actually, about type 2, I was one of them, but I changed, so sometimes, you just need to listen to what they say and how they say it, if they keep talking about their negativity and pessimism to you and doesn't order you to leave immediately, they are probably trying to vent their emotions and they didn't find another way to it. But the ones who take pleasure in it or are mean just to be it should be ignored, most of the time.
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yul
I currently have this colleague of mine who is a verbal abuser(not towards me but towards others but it makes me feel no better) and cynical I have no other choice but to listen her opinions on other people because we must be in one space for the whole day, it makes me so exhausted since theres no chance of changing anything at the moment. I feel so tired at the end of the day from all that negativity i want to cry sometimes
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I currently have this colleague of mine who is a verbal abuser(not towards me but towards others but it makes me feel no better) and cynical I have no other choice but to listen her opinions on other people because we must be in one space for the whole day, it makes me so exhausted since theres no chance of changing anything at the moment. I feel so tired at the end of the day from all that negativity i want to cry sometimes
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no
Oof I don't know how to be positive most of the time and honestly I enjoy complaining about everything.
Not sure where to even start improving but I want to badly, I'm not lazy I'm not trying to be mean I just don't get a lot of enjoyment out of most of my life, aside from my friends.
therefore hearing this has left me really quite worried I don't want to drive any of them away.
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Oof I don't know how to be positive most of the time and honestly I enjoy complaining about everything.
Not sure where to even start improving but I want to badly, I'm not lazy I'm not trying to be mean I just don't get a lot of enjoyment out of most of my life, aside from my friends.
therefore hearing this has left me really quite worried I don't want to drive any of them away.
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Kazrylle
. so im toxic? Maybe make a video HOW to help toxic people or YOURSELF, . i find this helpful just because now i know that im a toxic perosn and i should be avoided. then. what about that toxic persons future? If people keep avoiding he/her HOW in the world is she gonna have a relation ship. yeah. sorry if you find this very stressing.
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. so im toxic? Maybe make a video HOW to help toxic people or YOURSELF, . i find this helpful just because now i know that im a toxic perosn and i should be avoided. then. what about that toxic persons future? If people keep avoiding he/her HOW in the world is she gonna have a relation ship. yeah. sorry if you find this very stressing.
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Phantom
My classmate didn't give me a chair. He had 2 of them but I had none.
When he decided to move to a different seat he only had one chair, so he asked me for one of mine. I declined and he immediately went on a rant about HOW I, YES ME was being selfish and how I wasn't being a friend.
What a sad excuse for a human being.
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My classmate didn't give me a chair. He had 2 of them but I had none.
When he decided to move to a different seat he only had one chair, so he asked me for one of mine. I declined and he immediately went on a rant about HOW I, YES ME was being selfish and how I wasn't being a friend.
What a sad excuse for a human being.
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Me
Ive looked up what self pity means multiple times because I need to explain to my friends that I'm not doing self pity because I'm not seeking attention but every time my friends say I am I feel more and more like I'm a bad friend and now that I've seen this I feel like I'm toxic because I'm always talking bad about myself.
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Ive looked up what self pity means multiple times because I need to explain to my friends that I'm not doing self pity because I'm not seeking attention but every time my friends say I am I feel more and more like I'm a bad friend and now that I've seen this I feel like I'm toxic because I'm always talking bad about myself.
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Элианна
when i've heard the second tipe of toxic friend I've been understood that I was that friend who always though about what people will think and get out of funny and happy things, now it's the summer and I'm in depression how fun yay. I really hope that I'm gonna change that. I am a really bad friend.
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when i've heard the second tipe of toxic friend I've been understood that I was that friend who always though about what people will think and get out of funny and happy things, now it's the summer and I'm in depression how fun yay. I really hope that I'm gonna change that. I am a really bad friend.
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oops
ngl im in a very complicated situation where my friends is toxic to eachother and to the point some of them end up cutting me off without any explanation, i feel like i am turning toxic myself because of it, idk if it will be worth if i cut off everyone else instead even though ill just end up being alone
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ngl im in a very complicated situation where my friends is toxic to eachother and to the point some of them end up cutting me off without any explanation, i feel like i am turning toxic myself because of it, idk if it will be worth if i cut off everyone else instead even though ill just end up being alone
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GnopKing
My problem is that I always give people trust and care that I forget to care about myself.
I only allow sincere people to be my friends, no matter what their problems are, I always like to put efforts to listen to and to help others.
This is why I barely have some friends left
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My problem is that I always give people trust and care that I forget to care about myself.
I only allow sincere people to be my friends, no matter what their problems are, I always like to put efforts to listen to and to help others.
This is why I barely have some friends left
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WhatAreYouReally?
i just wanna know how to become less competitive bc i allways want to be first in everything aggainst one of my friends but i dont wanna hurt them, i feel like i am because i never let them win, anyone have advice?
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i just wanna know how to become less competitive bc i allways want to be first in everything aggainst one of my friends but i dont wanna hurt them, i feel like i am because i never let them win, anyone have advice?
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