8 Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
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Things that I stopped doing because others scolded me for feeling those feelings:
-Jumping in a particular way when I'm happy and excited
-Turning around in circles (because that was the only dance that felt natural)
-Clapping, stomping or doing everything related to following a beat, because apparently my clapping was always very off
-Singing (because they always made me feel like that wasn't something I was supposed to be doing when anyone could hear me
-Crying with sounds / crying in front of others. Because my feeling of sadness, hurt or fear was never valid
-Trying to win in competitions. There was just no beating my older siblings. They were older, got more attention, my sister is smart, so is my brother (although he has some issues, both are sport people
-Refusing uncomfortable female things. My sister didn't like pink, skirts, makeup, anything too girly. i wasn't allowed to do the same. If there were three of a kind (one for boys, one for girls and a neutral one) I was always expected or bullied into taking the girly one. What I wanted didn't matter enough. Only with shoes my mother was sensible enough to let me avoid pink and glitter
-Being the center of attention. because my siblings used to have fights who could play with me because they did not like each other but didn't want to play alone
-Asking for anything special. Because my parents attitude towards me was always like: Not you too.
My brother was what some people would call a problem child and my sister was somehow always more important because she had the bigger problems in life due to being the oldest (example: my troubles with homework in let's say 4th grade weren't as important as hers because she was already in a gymnasium. I do get how that makes sense on some level, but there is an issue with this, especially since my parents have gone on a huge the children are adult now and should learn to do stuff on their own. Mum, dad, please. it's not the same to say this to a 22 year old daughter that has already graduated, worked, been to the military and now has chosen a subject to study and is moving out, and ME a 19 year old graduate with no direction in life. It's not the same. But they act like it is. And since i don't have a strong identity i can either become my sister who succeeds in almost everything that can be put on paper or I can become my brother who has lots of emotional issues, doesn't work and desperatedly tries to move out but can't because of the house market in our region. So there it is. linear and simple. We don't know who you should be, in fact we cared very little about that all troughout your life. But you better figure it out. All on your own. We're watching, curious to see if you can beat your sister or be a burden like your brother. Oh and you do have to be better than your sister, as good isn't enough. We have already showed you that countless times. So which will it be, little one?
I am determined. I will not let this get the better of me. I will never off myself because of this and I will never stop trying to figure out who I am, what i like and what I am capable of. No matter how much they belittle me. Even if I truly end up all by myself i will always have me, for better or worse. There is no perfect person. There is no god. I will fight my battles with what I have cause it's all I got and anyone who finds something wrong with that is just unfair. I will not stop doing everything wrong. I will not stop doing everything. i will not stop doing. I will not stop. i will be and that's my resolve.
And you know what this means: i have to stop apologizing. I don't know how to stop repeating this mistake but I will figure it out.
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Things that I stopped doing because others scolded me for feeling those feelings:
-Jumping in a particular way when I'm happy and excited
-Turning around in circles (because that was the only dance that felt natural)
-Clapping, stomping or doing everything related to following a beat, because apparently my clapping was always very off
-Singing (because they always made me feel like that wasn't something I was supposed to be doing when anyone could hear me
-Crying with sounds / crying in front of others. Because my feeling of sadness, hurt or fear was never valid
-Trying to win in competitions. There was just no beating my older siblings. They were older, got more attention, my sister is smart, so is my brother (although he has some issues, both are sport people
-Refusing uncomfortable female things. My sister didn't like pink, skirts, makeup, anything too girly. i wasn't allowed to do the same. If there were three of a kind (one for boys, one for girls and a neutral one) I was always expected or bullied into taking the girly one. What I wanted didn't matter enough. Only with shoes my mother was sensible enough to let me avoid pink and glitter
-Being the center of attention. because my siblings used to have fights who could play with me because they did not like each other but didn't want to play alone
-Asking for anything special. Because my parents attitude towards me was always like: Not you too.
My brother was what some people would call a problem child and my sister was somehow always more important because she had the bigger problems in life due to being the oldest (example: my troubles with homework in let's say 4th grade weren't as important as hers because she was already in a gymnasium. I do get how that makes sense on some level, but there is an issue with this, especially since my parents have gone on a huge the children are adult now and should learn to do stuff on their own. Mum, dad, please. it's not the same to say this to a 22 year old daughter that has already graduated, worked, been to the military and now has chosen a subject to study and is moving out, and ME a 19 year old graduate with no direction in life. It's not the same. But they act like it is. And since i don't have a strong identity i can either become my sister who succeeds in almost everything that can be put on paper or I can become my brother who has lots of emotional issues, doesn't work and desperatedly tries to move out but can't because of the house market in our region. So there it is. linear and simple. We don't know who you should be, in fact we cared very little about that all troughout your life. But you better figure it out. All on your own. We're watching, curious to see if you can beat your sister or be a burden like your brother. Oh and you do have to be better than your sister, as good isn't enough. We have already showed you that countless times. So which will it be, little one?
I am determined. I will not let this get the better of me. I will never off myself because of this and I will never stop trying to figure out who I am, what i like and what I am capable of. No matter how much they belittle me. Even if I truly end up all by myself i will always have me, for better or worse. There is no perfect person. There is no god. I will fight my battles with what I have cause it's all I got and anyone who finds something wrong with that is just unfair. I will not stop doing everything wrong. I will not stop doing everything. i will not stop doing. I will not stop. i will be and that's my resolve.
And you know what this means: i have to stop apologizing. I don't know how to stop repeating this mistake but I will figure it out.
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JoMarieM
Some of the things on this video really hit home with me, and as an adult, I'm struggling with some trust issues. I grew up with a mother who probably still has unresolved trauma issues herself. As a child, all my physical needs were met, and I even had many of the toys and other items I wanted, but I also grew up with a verbally abusive mother who was not especially nurturing. I took a LOT of verbal abuse from my mom as a child (I believe that it was due to a combination of undiagnosed ADHD, which I also have, trauma from spending her early childhood during wartime Europe in WW2, and having parents who were not emotionally supportive and nurturing, and I felt like I was a verbal punching bag for her frustrations, and sadly, I STILL feel that way sometimes as an adult -- I'm currently living with her due to circumstances, and I can't afford to live my own right now. I have a complicated relationship with my mother -- sometimes we get along fine together and have fun, and I think that she TRIES to be a good mom, but when my mom gets angry, she has a very shrill, cutting voice, and can say things that really hurt. I was always easily overpowered or shut down when I tried to make my opinions known. I never had, and still don't have, one of those my mother is my best friend, and I can tell her anything kind of relationships, though. I have learned how to keep some of my interests a secret from her (like favorite celebrities or TV shows that I like, because I want to have something she can't get to. She seems to sometimes take delight in saying very negative things about people or TV shows that she knows I like, when she gets mad, making me feel guilty for liking those people or things. And sometimes she will suddenly start yelling at me about things that really have nothing to do about the subject at hand, or things that should have been forgiven or forgotten long ago, which makes me feel like my past mistakes will never really be forgotten about it. I keep a diary because it's about the only real outlet that I have for my feelings as an adult, and I know that a diary will not judge me. I feel like no one really cares about how I'm feeling as an adult, and during the pandemic, when I was unemployed for a couple of years and felt like all my old friends had completely forgotten about me, I went through one of the darkest periods of depression in my lifetime and got through it alone, because nobody really cared enough to help me get through it. I lived with my parents, who were sympathetic to a degree, but they didn't know how bad it REALLY was, and nobody suggested therapy for me because when my parents were growing up, paying attention to one's mental health wasn't really a thing. If you were depressed, you just simply got through it alone as best as you could, alone, which was simply what I did because I had to. Even now, as a grown woman, I feel like I'm completely on my own emotionally, and that no one is coming for me. In the US, therapy sessions as insanely expensive, so I'm just going to have to manage on my own as best as I can, as a single adult! My father, whom I had a good relationship with, passed on last year, and my siblings have their own families and lives, and there are things I simply just can't talk to my mom about. It's also surprisingly difficult to make and keep friends as an adult once you get past the college stage, since adults are all on different wavelengths, and everyone is juggling adult responsibilities to some degree. Being an adult, especially a single, middle-aged adult with ADHD, can really be the pits at times!
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Some of the things on this video really hit home with me, and as an adult, I'm struggling with some trust issues. I grew up with a mother who probably still has unresolved trauma issues herself. As a child, all my physical needs were met, and I even had many of the toys and other items I wanted, but I also grew up with a verbally abusive mother who was not especially nurturing. I took a LOT of verbal abuse from my mom as a child (I believe that it was due to a combination of undiagnosed ADHD, which I also have, trauma from spending her early childhood during wartime Europe in WW2, and having parents who were not emotionally supportive and nurturing, and I felt like I was a verbal punching bag for her frustrations, and sadly, I STILL feel that way sometimes as an adult -- I'm currently living with her due to circumstances, and I can't afford to live my own right now. I have a complicated relationship with my mother -- sometimes we get along fine together and have fun, and I think that she TRIES to be a good mom, but when my mom gets angry, she has a very shrill, cutting voice, and can say things that really hurt. I was always easily overpowered or shut down when I tried to make my opinions known. I never had, and still don't have, one of those my mother is my best friend, and I can tell her anything kind of relationships, though. I have learned how to keep some of my interests a secret from her (like favorite celebrities or TV shows that I like, because I want to have something she can't get to. She seems to sometimes take delight in saying very negative things about people or TV shows that she knows I like, when she gets mad, making me feel guilty for liking those people or things. And sometimes she will suddenly start yelling at me about things that really have nothing to do about the subject at hand, or things that should have been forgiven or forgotten long ago, which makes me feel like my past mistakes will never really be forgotten about it. I keep a diary because it's about the only real outlet that I have for my feelings as an adult, and I know that a diary will not judge me. I feel like no one really cares about how I'm feeling as an adult, and during the pandemic, when I was unemployed for a couple of years and felt like all my old friends had completely forgotten about me, I went through one of the darkest periods of depression in my lifetime and got through it alone, because nobody really cared enough to help me get through it. I lived with my parents, who were sympathetic to a degree, but they didn't know how bad it REALLY was, and nobody suggested therapy for me because when my parents were growing up, paying attention to one's mental health wasn't really a thing. If you were depressed, you just simply got through it alone as best as you could, alone, which was simply what I did because I had to. Even now, as a grown woman, I feel like I'm completely on my own emotionally, and that no one is coming for me. In the US, therapy sessions as insanely expensive, so I'm just going to have to manage on my own as best as I can, as a single adult! My father, whom I had a good relationship with, passed on last year, and my siblings have their own families and lives, and there are things I simply just can't talk to my mom about. It's also surprisingly difficult to make and keep friends as an adult once you get past the college stage, since adults are all on different wavelengths, and everyone is juggling adult responsibilities to some degree. Being an adult, especially a single, middle-aged adult with ADHD, can really be the pits at times!
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Claudia
i often felt like i was walking on eggshells in childhood and definitely felt like i had to be happy all the time, if i expressed any sort of negative emotion, i would get ignored or punished for expressing it. i often put others first and my sister actually asked why do you do that? put your needs below other peoples? and i couldnt answer her only because i felt like whatever i did, it wasnt good enough. i always felt like i had to mask my emotions and be happy around others even if it wasnt how i truly felt. everything was my fault. maybe if you didn't throw it, youd still have it and it wouldnt be broken. i struggle with Alexithymia and i definitely feel broken. i always felt like i was constantly not enough and whatever i did HAD to be perfect. my mom says you need to stop being so hard on yourself, i think this is you being hard on yourself again, or other comments similar to that. i never knew why but now i know because i never felt a connection to my parents like my siblings always had growing up. i felt like the odd one out, the broken one, and i was easily targeted for bullying and harassment as a child from my family/friends but never understood why. being diagnosed Autistic, i now understand, but still feel broken. i have had lots of people in my family roll their eyes at me for speaking too slowly, not responding quickly enough and generally just being myself so i always felt like an outcast who could never do anything right. i find it difficult to ask for help now as an adult, as well in childhood. i always feared i wouldnt say the right thing and get laughed at, etc and often stayed quiet even when i wanted to speak up, which led to abuse, mistreatment and bullying from others around me. i always felt like asking for help was a sign of weakness and that i wasnt good enough to be helped because it would be silly, so i often struggled in silence. when people asked me later, why didnt you ask for help? i would never know what to say. it just felt weird to me.
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i often felt like i was walking on eggshells in childhood and definitely felt like i had to be happy all the time, if i expressed any sort of negative emotion, i would get ignored or punished for expressing it. i often put others first and my sister actually asked why do you do that? put your needs below other peoples? and i couldnt answer her only because i felt like whatever i did, it wasnt good enough. i always felt like i had to mask my emotions and be happy around others even if it wasnt how i truly felt. everything was my fault. maybe if you didn't throw it, youd still have it and it wouldnt be broken. i struggle with Alexithymia and i definitely feel broken. i always felt like i was constantly not enough and whatever i did HAD to be perfect. my mom says you need to stop being so hard on yourself, i think this is you being hard on yourself again, or other comments similar to that. i never knew why but now i know because i never felt a connection to my parents like my siblings always had growing up. i felt like the odd one out, the broken one, and i was easily targeted for bullying and harassment as a child from my family/friends but never understood why. being diagnosed Autistic, i now understand, but still feel broken. i have had lots of people in my family roll their eyes at me for speaking too slowly, not responding quickly enough and generally just being myself so i always felt like an outcast who could never do anything right. i find it difficult to ask for help now as an adult, as well in childhood. i always feared i wouldnt say the right thing and get laughed at, etc and often stayed quiet even when i wanted to speak up, which led to abuse, mistreatment and bullying from others around me. i always felt like asking for help was a sign of weakness and that i wasnt good enough to be helped because it would be silly, so i often struggled in silence. when people asked me later, why didnt you ask for help? i would never know what to say. it just felt weird to me.
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Dean
So I'd been laying in bed a couple days ago, and this idea that I'd been emotionally neglected suddenly clicked as I thought of things in life through self-reflection. My parents had been through a truly messy, drawn out divorce while I grew up and I was in my mother's custody most of my childhood to my teenage years. Despite her upbringing me to be a strong, respectable man with all of the things I needed to grow, she was too busy working to be there for me in person. I was left to my own devices in the house for increasingly long amounts of time, and when she was home she would be too exhausted to do much else but sleep.
Learning to care for myself and claw at whatever I could to push my mind out of the loneliness was a daily process and with my Asperger's as well as my ostracized nature in school keeping me from making friendships and things to keep me up, it was excruciatingly hard to be isolated but as hard to find a connection with other people that could help me bear the silence and the emptiness. I've always carved a human connection, and nothing softens you more to having people around and pushing your own needs away for them than having the world you know all to yourself.
I've been speaking too much here, but this video of yours is just the start of my research into how the emotional neglect I've suffered through has carved out my mind, my personality and all of who I am as a person.
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So I'd been laying in bed a couple days ago, and this idea that I'd been emotionally neglected suddenly clicked as I thought of things in life through self-reflection. My parents had been through a truly messy, drawn out divorce while I grew up and I was in my mother's custody most of my childhood to my teenage years. Despite her upbringing me to be a strong, respectable man with all of the things I needed to grow, she was too busy working to be there for me in person. I was left to my own devices in the house for increasingly long amounts of time, and when she was home she would be too exhausted to do much else but sleep.
Learning to care for myself and claw at whatever I could to push my mind out of the loneliness was a daily process and with my Asperger's as well as my ostracized nature in school keeping me from making friendships and things to keep me up, it was excruciatingly hard to be isolated but as hard to find a connection with other people that could help me bear the silence and the emptiness. I've always carved a human connection, and nothing softens you more to having people around and pushing your own needs away for them than having the world you know all to yourself.
I've been speaking too much here, but this video of yours is just the start of my research into how the emotional neglect I've suffered through has carved out my mind, my personality and all of who I am as a person.
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Saint
My Dad was, and is an alcoholic, a workaholic and a chainsmoker at the age of 70. He was always to busy, stressed out and self concerned to invest anything into his son As a kid I always tried to help make him less stressed/depressed and try to convince him to take better care of himself. He left my mother to do all of the house work, shopping, transporting, schooling ect. His failure to fulfil his role as a father and a husband let to a whole bag of trauma and scars that I have been carrying for years now I have been conditioned by my environment to try and fix things and care for peoples emotional needs while neglecting my own. I didnt even know what I was trying to fix but I knew something was very wrong in the family dynamic I wasnt safe and because my Mom tried to shelter me from the reality of the situation I had nothing to blame it on expect myself: ( I internalised and personalised every time I was dismissed or ignored I felt like a bother and annoyance to my dad, every time I tried to share my excitement about something I was dismissed and crushed. How am I ever supposed to love myself when my own father made me feel like a wast of time and energy: ( How am I supposed to trust myself when I was never given that guidance and reassurance from my Dad? My whole sense of self worth comes externally, I wish I knew how to be carefree again
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My Dad was, and is an alcoholic, a workaholic and a chainsmoker at the age of 70. He was always to busy, stressed out and self concerned to invest anything into his son As a kid I always tried to help make him less stressed/depressed and try to convince him to take better care of himself. He left my mother to do all of the house work, shopping, transporting, schooling ect. His failure to fulfil his role as a father and a husband let to a whole bag of trauma and scars that I have been carrying for years now I have been conditioned by my environment to try and fix things and care for peoples emotional needs while neglecting my own. I didnt even know what I was trying to fix but I knew something was very wrong in the family dynamic I wasnt safe and because my Mom tried to shelter me from the reality of the situation I had nothing to blame it on expect myself: ( I internalised and personalised every time I was dismissed or ignored I felt like a bother and annoyance to my dad, every time I tried to share my excitement about something I was dismissed and crushed. How am I ever supposed to love myself when my own father made me feel like a wast of time and energy: ( How am I supposed to trust myself when I was never given that guidance and reassurance from my Dad? My whole sense of self worth comes externally, I wish I knew how to be carefree again
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Jfull
Back when I was young the divorce of my parents caused me to move from school to school, never get any answers why and it lead to me not being able to be like the others, I never got good at sport because I spent most of my days alone in my room. I never got to have much friends for the same reason. I find myself not caring about important things allthough I should. The only time I feel that i'm alive is when I remember the past in which I was alive. I will never reach the potencial I had in me because of what happened. I will never get to have childhood stories and experiences because I spent my days doing nothing and wondering why everyone isn't caring about me or answering my questions. Why are you divorcing dad? Why don't we have barely enough money to buy food sometimes eversince my parents split up? How come everyone speaks about their childhood years in such a possitive way? . Why did I not get to have any of the nice things everyone told me about.
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Back when I was young the divorce of my parents caused me to move from school to school, never get any answers why and it lead to me not being able to be like the others, I never got good at sport because I spent most of my days alone in my room. I never got to have much friends for the same reason. I find myself not caring about important things allthough I should. The only time I feel that i'm alive is when I remember the past in which I was alive. I will never reach the potencial I had in me because of what happened. I will never get to have childhood stories and experiences because I spent my days doing nothing and wondering why everyone isn't caring about me or answering my questions. Why are you divorcing dad? Why don't we have barely enough money to buy food sometimes eversince my parents split up? How come everyone speaks about their childhood years in such a possitive way? . Why did I not get to have any of the nice things everyone told me about.
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David
Being asked how did I feel during my years seeing therapists was always hard to answer. More often than not I would be speechless, scrounging around on the inside for evidence of feelings. But there were none. Now, in my seventh decade, I understand this intellectually but still have trouble identifying my feelings. Its left me lonely and alone, unable to make friends and estranged from my siblings who are equally afflicted but remain unaware of the consequences of neglectful and harmful parenting.
Of the four of us Im the only one one who sought professional help and Im grateful for the clarity its given me. My siblings maintain a kind of pantomime as they continue in their damaged and unaware state.
This short video is an excellent explainer. For those of you who recognize these traits you should seek professional help to allow you to live a more meaningful and rich life. You deserve nothing less.
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Being asked how did I feel during my years seeing therapists was always hard to answer. More often than not I would be speechless, scrounging around on the inside for evidence of feelings. But there were none. Now, in my seventh decade, I understand this intellectually but still have trouble identifying my feelings. Its left me lonely and alone, unable to make friends and estranged from my siblings who are equally afflicted but remain unaware of the consequences of neglectful and harmful parenting.
Of the four of us Im the only one one who sought professional help and Im grateful for the clarity its given me. My siblings maintain a kind of pantomime as they continue in their damaged and unaware state.
This short video is an excellent explainer. For those of you who recognize these traits you should seek professional help to allow you to live a more meaningful and rich life. You deserve nothing less.
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MindfulnessAsia108
Forgiveness means that you don't hang on to something that a person did that made you suffer. If we are quick to forgive, this is a quality of someone who sings the Holy Names of the Supreme Lord.
If you forgive, you are free from that anger. We need to be eager to forgive. It's a liberating reality for both ourselves and those who we forgive.
If you don't forgive someone, you are basically saying that you are a great person and should be given great respect. One can never find real lasting happiness and inner peace when one demands great respect from others.
If you can forgive all who have offended you, only then will you be able to approach the Supreme Lord and ask Him Please forgive me for all my offenses. You know how sinful you have been. These forgiving others must go together with asking the Supreme Lord for forgiveness.
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Forgiveness means that you don't hang on to something that a person did that made you suffer. If we are quick to forgive, this is a quality of someone who sings the Holy Names of the Supreme Lord.
If you forgive, you are free from that anger. We need to be eager to forgive. It's a liberating reality for both ourselves and those who we forgive.
If you don't forgive someone, you are basically saying that you are a great person and should be given great respect. One can never find real lasting happiness and inner peace when one demands great respect from others.
If you can forgive all who have offended you, only then will you be able to approach the Supreme Lord and ask Him Please forgive me for all my offenses. You know how sinful you have been. These forgiving others must go together with asking the Supreme Lord for forgiveness.
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Book
I don't see any advantage in displaying emotions, especially if you're a man or a boy. If you cry, you will be openly mocked or secretly held in contempt. If you display love for a potential partner, you will likely be regarded with pity or disdain from the object of your affection. If you show anger, people will either be afraid of you or think you're being a dick. If you are feeling down, people won't want to be near you. If you're afraid, hide it or it will spread to others and possibly cause panic. If your are disgusted by anything other than food, you're a judgmental ass. Happiness is the only, universally accepted emotion. If you can keep the rest bottled up and only spread happiness, everyone will like you.
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I don't see any advantage in displaying emotions, especially if you're a man or a boy. If you cry, you will be openly mocked or secretly held in contempt. If you display love for a potential partner, you will likely be regarded with pity or disdain from the object of your affection. If you show anger, people will either be afraid of you or think you're being a dick. If you are feeling down, people won't want to be near you. If you're afraid, hide it or it will spread to others and possibly cause panic. If your are disgusted by anything other than food, you're a judgmental ass. Happiness is the only, universally accepted emotion. If you can keep the rest bottled up and only spread happiness, everyone will like you.
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Khadis
3: 38 I feel like a problem with me is that I feel like life is reinforcing this belief to this day
When I do ask for help, I feel like Im not taking seriously
So not only does it make me uncomfortable, but it also waste my time because I still wind up doing whatever it was largely on my own
Then, after being shown that I shouldnt of asked for help, because either somebody made a joke out of me, or somebody told me, they wouldve just never came back to help me
The next time my situation comes up I just dont even have the energy to try to ask for help
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3: 38 I feel like a problem with me is that I feel like life is reinforcing this belief to this day
When I do ask for help, I feel like Im not taking seriously
So not only does it make me uncomfortable, but it also waste my time because I still wind up doing whatever it was largely on my own
Then, after being shown that I shouldnt of asked for help, because either somebody made a joke out of me, or somebody told me, they wouldve just never came back to help me
The next time my situation comes up I just dont even have the energy to try to ask for help
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MeshyCuts
I wish I could say the 8 years of my life where fun and they hosted advents sometimes but I was vastly different over talkative unfocused no one would even come up to me to start a conversation most of them saw me as the annoying kid so my grades dropped got beat got beat at home then got beat at school it was a cycle I couldnt understand at the time being younger and I did not know why it hurt no one cared because I was a kid and understanding now does not make myself better makes me feel 10x worse actually
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I wish I could say the 8 years of my life where fun and they hosted advents sometimes but I was vastly different over talkative unfocused no one would even come up to me to start a conversation most of them saw me as the annoying kid so my grades dropped got beat got beat at home then got beat at school it was a cycle I couldnt understand at the time being younger and I did not know why it hurt no one cared because I was a kid and understanding now does not make myself better makes me feel 10x worse actually
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Bd
Over the past years i didn't realise somthing but i dont feel love i dont know what it is even if my parents did love but things changed after some family problemes i descoverd that they dont love me or neather my older sister they love their sons and their selfes my mother always threatend me by her leaving the house and m'y father doesn't care about m'y feelings and treats me as an adulte even if am 13 and when i confronted them about how i feel they said it was nothing am just dramatique
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Over the past years i didn't realise somthing but i dont feel love i dont know what it is even if my parents did love but things changed after some family problemes i descoverd that they dont love me or neather my older sister they love their sons and their selfes my mother always threatend me by her leaving the house and m'y father doesn't care about m'y feelings and treats me as an adulte even if am 13 and when i confronted them about how i feel they said it was nothing am just dramatique
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Andy
This video and other videos about CEN just opened me up to what I have always had - but never really knew that I did. All of the characteristics - ESPECIALLY putting others first - affect me deeply. Making others happy. Not wanting confrontation. Not wanting to rock the boat. Doing all these things to please others while in the long run it personally affects me negatively is what I do best. And looking back on my life knowing that I've done this my entire life. painful. Just painful.
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This video and other videos about CEN just opened me up to what I have always had - but never really knew that I did. All of the characteristics - ESPECIALLY putting others first - affect me deeply. Making others happy. Not wanting confrontation. Not wanting to rock the boat. Doing all these things to please others while in the long run it personally affects me negatively is what I do best. And looking back on my life knowing that I've done this my entire life. painful. Just painful.
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Suzi
ouch. I painted a portrait of my mother for Mother's day. Then I wrote an 8 page letter to her. Then I wrote all her nasty quotes I heard all my life from her on the portrait. I did not have children because I did not want another child to be in this toxic family system. I left the family 18 years ago and have so much relief. Probably won't see any of them again in this life. I could not save the already broken marriage so I was scapegoated. Moving on and you can too.
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ouch. I painted a portrait of my mother for Mother's day. Then I wrote an 8 page letter to her. Then I wrote all her nasty quotes I heard all my life from her on the portrait. I did not have children because I did not want another child to be in this toxic family system. I left the family 18 years ago and have so much relief. Probably won't see any of them again in this life. I could not save the already broken marriage so I was scapegoated. Moving on and you can too.
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Adam
The hardest part about this type of childhood is how incredibly lonely it felt.
It's strange feeling so lonely, but feeling more comfortable isolating than socializing. It's almost like tension between being enticed to drink the cold glass of water when you're thirsty, but choosing not to because it's salty. You recognize you have a need you want to fulfil, but it can't be met even though on the surface it seems like an obvious solution.
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The hardest part about this type of childhood is how incredibly lonely it felt.
It's strange feeling so lonely, but feeling more comfortable isolating than socializing. It's almost like tension between being enticed to drink the cold glass of water when you're thirsty, but choosing not to because it's salty. You recognize you have a need you want to fulfil, but it can't be met even though on the surface it seems like an obvious solution.
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hannie
I remember all my friends used to be so jealous of my parents that they never cared where I was if I was out late, or that they didn't ask about my grades. I didn't know how to explain to them that it was because they simply weren't interested in me as a person. Not that the other extreme of helicopter parents is any better, but I wish they would have once given me a call if I didn't come back home at night, just to show they cared
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I remember all my friends used to be so jealous of my parents that they never cared where I was if I was out late, or that they didn't ask about my grades. I didn't know how to explain to them that it was because they simply weren't interested in me as a person. Not that the other extreme of helicopter parents is any better, but I wish they would have once given me a call if I didn't come back home at night, just to show they cared
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speddermqnman
Howcome my mom lets me miss school, sometimes she complains on how I miss school but doesnt do anything about it, She gives me love and effection but it feels fake, and only when i go to her for love and effection, if i tell her about a problem she re directs it to herself, Im just confused about life i dont really know how to view myself, i always overthink and i have no friends cuz i dont go to school, What do i do?
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Howcome my mom lets me miss school, sometimes she complains on how I miss school but doesnt do anything about it, She gives me love and effection but it feels fake, and only when i go to her for love and effection, if i tell her about a problem she re directs it to herself, Im just confused about life i dont really know how to view myself, i always overthink and i have no friends cuz i dont go to school, What do i do?
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Cyleste
I find it hard to ask for help tell what I am feeling and just feel nothing when I'm doing daytoday things my mom was a single parent and had to work all the time but she always gave me hugs when she could and asked me about my day as well as tell me bedtime stories so I don't know why I feel this way is it because I'm mentaly diverse or something else I'm confused does anyone know what is going on with me?
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I find it hard to ask for help tell what I am feeling and just feel nothing when I'm doing daytoday things my mom was a single parent and had to work all the time but she always gave me hugs when she could and asked me about my day as well as tell me bedtime stories so I don't know why I feel this way is it because I'm mentaly diverse or something else I'm confused does anyone know what is going on with me?
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warlord
Thanks for the list because it does compare to me. I usually bottle up emotions but it takes a long time to come up with a way so that I don't sound offensive. Always on the edge sometimes and it weighs its toll to the point that I usually forget the smallest pleasures of the day. Trying to play a game became a steep thing that I couldn't understand what was played. It became a void of emptiness.
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Thanks for the list because it does compare to me. I usually bottle up emotions but it takes a long time to come up with a way so that I don't sound offensive. Always on the edge sometimes and it weighs its toll to the point that I usually forget the smallest pleasures of the day. Trying to play a game became a steep thing that I couldn't understand what was played. It became a void of emptiness.
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The
So I guess I new all along, slapping, cussing, yelling, threatening, pulling my hair to hit me in the face and telling me to put my hands down so she could hit me in the face with no defense to myself, Huh thanks Mom what a absolutely beautiful human being you are.
And we know longer speak, Well Ill be darned
This is not normal folks, she had anger issues and is a extreme narcissist.
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So I guess I new all along, slapping, cussing, yelling, threatening, pulling my hair to hit me in the face and telling me to put my hands down so she could hit me in the face with no defense to myself, Huh thanks Mom what a absolutely beautiful human being you are.
And we know longer speak, Well Ill be darned
This is not normal folks, she had anger issues and is a extreme narcissist.
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Shannon
My mom never wanted to do anything with us! All she ever wanted to do was lay on her bed, talk on the phone and sleep. When did she last take us to the movies, when's the last time she took us to visit a library? Since she passed away I can't ask her to do that anymore but my fiance will usually try to get me to do things to get me out of the house.
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My mom never wanted to do anything with us! All she ever wanted to do was lay on her bed, talk on the phone and sleep. When did she last take us to the movies, when's the last time she took us to visit a library? Since she passed away I can't ask her to do that anymore but my fiance will usually try to get me to do things to get me out of the house.
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Kevin
Yes I'm broken and I've been broken for years I think I experienced so much emotional physical pain in both of my childhood home and in the group home that I just died inside and really haven't felt a genuine emotion other than anger that I can't control an inability to forgive when I shouldn't be angry in the first place
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Yes I'm broken and I've been broken for years I think I experienced so much emotional physical pain in both of my childhood home and in the group home that I just died inside and really haven't felt a genuine emotion other than anger that I can't control an inability to forgive when I shouldn't be angry in the first place
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WolfyDoesThings
i've been emotionally neglected since like 3 years old. i was never allowed to be angry, and when i was, i would either be scolded, or instantly soothed, when i just needed to get it out. its mainly my mum, she has anger issues. but she wont realise that its her thats neglected me, and im scared to tell her: (
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i've been emotionally neglected since like 3 years old. i was never allowed to be angry, and when i was, i would either be scolded, or instantly soothed, when i just needed to get it out. its mainly my mum, she has anger issues. but she wont realise that its her thats neglected me, and im scared to tell her: (
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TheBread
All of these 8 things i siffer from and im only a boy who is living with 2 woman/my older sister and my mother. My sister also has been emotionaly been neglected by my mother and now i see that she also acts like het cuz she learned it from her. Now im getting emotionaly neglected by those 2.
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All of these 8 things i siffer from and im only a boy who is living with 2 woman/my older sister and my mother. My sister also has been emotionaly been neglected by my mother and now i see that she also acts like het cuz she learned it from her. Now im getting emotionaly neglected by those 2.
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Ethan
This is why I dont call my parents M and D I just call them by their real names. They gave me zero support mentally or emotionally. It was always about my younger siblings. And my family see me as the problem even though I did nothing wrong. Once I move out, they wont hear from me ever again.
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This is why I dont call my parents M and D I just call them by their real names. They gave me zero support mentally or emotionally. It was always about my younger siblings. And my family see me as the problem even though I did nothing wrong. Once I move out, they wont hear from me ever again.
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