12 Signs You're in an Unhealthy Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
PJ
1) Fighting: The last two 3 months of our relationship. yes
2) Hide things: She hid and lied to me that she was texting her crush. that she was planning on leaving me and practicing stripping for him for when she could finally leave me
3) Her way or the highway: Dunno. By the end she simply didn't like being around me.
4) Feeling guilty: I did. Even for things like coming home after work bc I knew she wouldn't want me there.
5) One sided: More than anything on this list. YES! I did Everything for her. And she still resented me bc after she found out her crush was into her too I was the one standing in her way. It was incredibly Incredibly hurtful
6) They put you down: yes but infrequently to my face.
7) Refuse to do things that matter to you: Yes. No bike rides bc she didn't like it. But, again, by the end she didn't even like being around me. It was incredibly hurtful. all bc she wanted another guy. I Never cheated. Never even came close. I didn't want anyone else
8) Codependent: Full disclosure. YES! I've done a LOT of research on codependency after getting out of this relationship and it's like they were describing me to a T. I'm trying to fix this.
9) They make you feel insecure: YES! Nothing I did was good enough. Drove her Everywhere, appts, grocery shopping, bought her groceries, took her to and from class, paid her phone bill, utilities, paid part of her rent, I was her emotional support/punching bag. but in the end I was just the guy standing in her way
10) They're abusive: Emotionally yes. She would resent it when I would come home from work bc she wanted the apartment to herself. So I would go on looooooooong walks, head to a friend's house for hours, hang out at a friend's for days. and she'd still resent it when I came home. She wasn't like this before she found out her crush was attracted to her too. The day she found out she changed. overnight
11) Change yourself to be what they want: Any plan she wanted to do I threw out my plans and did whatever she wanted. But, again, by the end even that she began to resent. I let her treat me like a doormat. The funny thing is, when you let people treat you like a doormat. they wipe their shitty shoes all over you
12) You're unhappy: This past summer was PURE HELL. She was Super nice and sweet when she wanted something or when she was feeling guilty. but the next day or week she would become vile and hurtful.
The strange thing is. Throughout it all, I still loved her. I still do. I miss her so much! Why?
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1) Fighting: The last two 3 months of our relationship. yes
2) Hide things: She hid and lied to me that she was texting her crush. that she was planning on leaving me and practicing stripping for him for when she could finally leave me
3) Her way or the highway: Dunno. By the end she simply didn't like being around me.
4) Feeling guilty: I did. Even for things like coming home after work bc I knew she wouldn't want me there.
5) One sided: More than anything on this list. YES! I did Everything for her. And she still resented me bc after she found out her crush was into her too I was the one standing in her way. It was incredibly Incredibly hurtful
6) They put you down: yes but infrequently to my face.
7) Refuse to do things that matter to you: Yes. No bike rides bc she didn't like it. But, again, by the end she didn't even like being around me. It was incredibly hurtful. all bc she wanted another guy. I Never cheated. Never even came close. I didn't want anyone else
8) Codependent: Full disclosure. YES! I've done a LOT of research on codependency after getting out of this relationship and it's like they were describing me to a T. I'm trying to fix this.
9) They make you feel insecure: YES! Nothing I did was good enough. Drove her Everywhere, appts, grocery shopping, bought her groceries, took her to and from class, paid her phone bill, utilities, paid part of her rent, I was her emotional support/punching bag. but in the end I was just the guy standing in her way
10) They're abusive: Emotionally yes. She would resent it when I would come home from work bc she wanted the apartment to herself. So I would go on looooooooong walks, head to a friend's house for hours, hang out at a friend's for days. and she'd still resent it when I came home. She wasn't like this before she found out her crush was attracted to her too. The day she found out she changed. overnight
11) Change yourself to be what they want: Any plan she wanted to do I threw out my plans and did whatever she wanted. But, again, by the end even that she began to resent. I let her treat me like a doormat. The funny thing is, when you let people treat you like a doormat. they wipe their shitty shoes all over you
12) You're unhappy: This past summer was PURE HELL. She was Super nice and sweet when she wanted something or when she was feeling guilty. but the next day or week she would become vile and hurtful.
The strange thing is. Throughout it all, I still loved her. I still do. I miss her so much! Why?
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John
Please help. I did some of those unhealthy relationship to my long distance relationship boyfriend. We were just 3 months but I want to rush things, I'm anxious when he's not messaging me even for an hour, I broke his privacy, and everything these unhealthy traits I did to him until I realize it suffocated him. and I apologized to him. I slowly took away my insecurities from him. I slowly trusted him even though it's so hard for me to trust him. It's like I freed him and gave him all his freedom. But one night, I exploded when I felt like he did something wrong there. I called him many times until he answered with a weak voice saying he's too tired from work. Only then, I realized I was wrong. I thought my guts told me he's cheating but I was wrong! I just let my mind control me so now he told me he needed a space. He said we're not breaking up, but he just want a cool off from a relationship. I don't know when he will be coming back. But he told me I have to heal myself first. I have to deal with my trust issues and overthinking and that he's doing it to make our relationship more healthier when we come back. But still. I have doubts if he'll ever come back to me. Maybe he'll find something new that is not toxic. And I understood he needed space. I respected his decision. And if ever he might find someone new, I will be happy for him. I've been preparing myself if ever he's breaking up from me. I cried so hard lately so that I might be strong whenever that will happen.
But what should I do when we'll be back together? What if I still couldn't trust him? Should I just keep it to myself? I don't want to sabotage our relationship again if ever he will come back. I want to have this healthy relationship and I know the problem is me. I'm really working on my trust issues but it's just so hard esp. we are in a long-distance relationship. Also, I don't want to be the person who'll break. I promised I won't leave him unless he cheated on me. But I don't have that evidence anymore. I mean I won't know if he'll cheat or not. How would I ever know if he'll cheat? Maybe I should just trust him? No matter what? IDK anymore.
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Please help. I did some of those unhealthy relationship to my long distance relationship boyfriend. We were just 3 months but I want to rush things, I'm anxious when he's not messaging me even for an hour, I broke his privacy, and everything these unhealthy traits I did to him until I realize it suffocated him. and I apologized to him. I slowly took away my insecurities from him. I slowly trusted him even though it's so hard for me to trust him. It's like I freed him and gave him all his freedom. But one night, I exploded when I felt like he did something wrong there. I called him many times until he answered with a weak voice saying he's too tired from work. Only then, I realized I was wrong. I thought my guts told me he's cheating but I was wrong! I just let my mind control me so now he told me he needed a space. He said we're not breaking up, but he just want a cool off from a relationship. I don't know when he will be coming back. But he told me I have to heal myself first. I have to deal with my trust issues and overthinking and that he's doing it to make our relationship more healthier when we come back. But still. I have doubts if he'll ever come back to me. Maybe he'll find something new that is not toxic. And I understood he needed space. I respected his decision. And if ever he might find someone new, I will be happy for him. I've been preparing myself if ever he's breaking up from me. I cried so hard lately so that I might be strong whenever that will happen.
But what should I do when we'll be back together? What if I still couldn't trust him? Should I just keep it to myself? I don't want to sabotage our relationship again if ever he will come back. I want to have this healthy relationship and I know the problem is me. I'm really working on my trust issues but it's just so hard esp. we are in a long-distance relationship. Also, I don't want to be the person who'll break. I promised I won't leave him unless he cheated on me. But I don't have that evidence anymore. I mean I won't know if he'll cheat or not. How would I ever know if he'll cheat? Maybe I should just trust him? No matter what? IDK anymore.
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Chris
god, its so sad whem i look up these relationships videos to know wheather or not im the problem. i wish so bad that i would fix myself. i know its not my partner's fault, but reather, mine. tbh, my mental health has decreased, but not because of them, theyve only helped me to get through my worst days, but i feel, and know this is draining them off. I don't have anyone to talk to, and a psichyatrist is way too far from my reality, and they are the only thing i have. i wish i would stop worring so much to the point i just explode and breakdown in tears in front of them. We love each other, and true, relationships are supposed to be an addition to our lifes, to be balanced. but it sucks when you know you're the one draining them. i wish they knew how much i care and love them, and really don't know what to do. i don't know where to start and this fear keeps getting over my head, and this just becomes a loop where i fear everything and eventually cause us to fight about my behavior.
i really don't know what to do. i wish they knew how they matter to me. i wish they knew how much i love them, and how much i wanna change.
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god, its so sad whem i look up these relationships videos to know wheather or not im the problem. i wish so bad that i would fix myself. i know its not my partner's fault, but reather, mine. tbh, my mental health has decreased, but not because of them, theyve only helped me to get through my worst days, but i feel, and know this is draining them off. I don't have anyone to talk to, and a psichyatrist is way too far from my reality, and they are the only thing i have. i wish i would stop worring so much to the point i just explode and breakdown in tears in front of them. We love each other, and true, relationships are supposed to be an addition to our lifes, to be balanced. but it sucks when you know you're the one draining them. i wish they knew how much i care and love them, and really don't know what to do. i don't know where to start and this fear keeps getting over my head, and this just becomes a loop where i fear everything and eventually cause us to fight about my behavior.
i really don't know what to do. i wish they knew how they matter to me. i wish they knew how much i love them, and how much i wanna change.
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Kai
Everything in this Video is true, BUT! .
To find a partner you are really attracted to is a rare thing. And it will be more rare the older you get. Dont break up too soon! Dont give up too soon! I know I can be toxic sometimes. And not because I am bad by nature. I can become inconsiderate, ignorant, selfish without really realising it. So at least try hard for some time to make your partner see whats going on (in your perspective. Try harder and with love! If your partner really does not see your point, you can always quit.
We seem to live in a society that criticises less and less. Its all about pleasing people to get followers and thumbs up. Few people hold the mirror in front of us, we all might just not see our flaws anymore. Nor do we want. We lack. meekness, we re always the center of the universe.
But then - after all the efforts turned out to have been in vain - quit for good!
Hugs.
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Everything in this Video is true, BUT! .
To find a partner you are really attracted to is a rare thing. And it will be more rare the older you get. Dont break up too soon! Dont give up too soon! I know I can be toxic sometimes. And not because I am bad by nature. I can become inconsiderate, ignorant, selfish without really realising it. So at least try hard for some time to make your partner see whats going on (in your perspective. Try harder and with love! If your partner really does not see your point, you can always quit.
We seem to live in a society that criticises less and less. Its all about pleasing people to get followers and thumbs up. Few people hold the mirror in front of us, we all might just not see our flaws anymore. Nor do we want. We lack. meekness, we re always the center of the universe.
But then - after all the efforts turned out to have been in vain - quit for good!
Hugs.
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Anjum
How about?
1. They don't trust or believe you. [Eg: you told you made something extraordinary and they question are you kidding me? Until you prove them you made it]
2. They always say they're correct. They're always right on the both sides of a coin.
3. They want you but can't understand you or express their love much.
4. They hardly ask you out. And sometimes you initiate a lot and then they make time to meet.
5. They don't want you to be around men.
6. They compare you with other women or men
7. They stop you from doing something you like and tell you they're really concerned about you hence they don't want you to do it.
Are these red flags? But they always tell you they love you. They want you. They never want to loose you. At any cost.
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How about?
1. They don't trust or believe you. [Eg: you told you made something extraordinary and they question are you kidding me? Until you prove them you made it]
2. They always say they're correct. They're always right on the both sides of a coin.
3. They want you but can't understand you or express their love much.
4. They hardly ask you out. And sometimes you initiate a lot and then they make time to meet.
5. They don't want you to be around men.
6. They compare you with other women or men
7. They stop you from doing something you like and tell you they're really concerned about you hence they don't want you to do it.
Are these red flags? But they always tell you they love you. They want you. They never want to loose you. At any cost.
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Drian
I have a wife who is blaming everything on me. I stopped loving her for years and Our relax has gotten worse year after year. Today, I no longer feel her as my wife nor she does. We fee l as if we were not meant to be together. She is the type of person who is perfectionist whereas I just feel the opposite way I find charm in imperfection: ) I am actually looking for someone who is into the same situation and who knows, may be we can start to write each other and share our burdens! It is good to have someone to talk to outside your partner of family. I am in my early forties, cute face, fine lips and live in Canada. I am looking to talk with female preferably.
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I have a wife who is blaming everything on me. I stopped loving her for years and Our relax has gotten worse year after year. Today, I no longer feel her as my wife nor she does. We fee l as if we were not meant to be together. She is the type of person who is perfectionist whereas I just feel the opposite way I find charm in imperfection: ) I am actually looking for someone who is into the same situation and who knows, may be we can start to write each other and share our burdens! It is good to have someone to talk to outside your partner of family. I am in my early forties, cute face, fine lips and live in Canada. I am looking to talk with female preferably.
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Stuart
I've just ended a relationship with someone who, on the surface, was perfect and open with love but due to so many past abusive relationships, tended to take insecurities out on me, I ended up putting my life on hold too afraid to admit to her what I was doing as I knew it would end up being an argument which would only end when I took full responsibility on why it started even if I didn't. Did everything I could to make her happy but at the cost of my own happiness.
I've been doubting if I'd made the right decision and this video helped to see that our relationship was actually very unhealthy. Thanks Psyc2go
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I've just ended a relationship with someone who, on the surface, was perfect and open with love but due to so many past abusive relationships, tended to take insecurities out on me, I ended up putting my life on hold too afraid to admit to her what I was doing as I knew it would end up being an argument which would only end when I took full responsibility on why it started even if I didn't. Did everything I could to make her happy but at the cost of my own happiness.
I've been doubting if I'd made the right decision and this video helped to see that our relationship was actually very unhealthy. Thanks Psyc2go
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Gunjan
Can somebody please help!
I am the unhealthy one i mean i don't fight, yell, abuse but i priorities him before myself i always wait for his calls if i don't talk to him everyday i feel like i am dying inside and oh my god i don't know what's going to happen why am i so dependent on him for my emotional needs.
Like i always pick his calls before anyone else's and when he doesn't pick my call i start thinking negatively about that like he doesn't love me or maybe he will cheat on me but on the other side that's not the case it's just my mind how do i help this.
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Can somebody please help!
I am the unhealthy one i mean i don't fight, yell, abuse but i priorities him before myself i always wait for his calls if i don't talk to him everyday i feel like i am dying inside and oh my god i don't know what's going to happen why am i so dependent on him for my emotional needs.
Like i always pick his calls before anyone else's and when he doesn't pick my call i start thinking negatively about that like he doesn't love me or maybe he will cheat on me but on the other side that's not the case it's just my mind how do i help this.
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Dragon
I'm grateful for videos like these. I recently felt like I had to break up with my partner. I wasn't happy. Especially, when they would get super annoyed over the smallest things. There were even more unlikeable things about them. I feel sad after breaking up with them but I think I made the right choice. I may be sad at the moment but at least I'm not in a relationship that makes me feel trapped. If anyone is in a relationship where they're unhappy, do your best to leave. It will hurt but at least you can move on and maybe you'll find a better partner.
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I'm grateful for videos like these. I recently felt like I had to break up with my partner. I wasn't happy. Especially, when they would get super annoyed over the smallest things. There were even more unlikeable things about them. I feel sad after breaking up with them but I think I made the right choice. I may be sad at the moment but at least I'm not in a relationship that makes me feel trapped. If anyone is in a relationship where they're unhappy, do your best to leave. It will hurt but at least you can move on and maybe you'll find a better partner.
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Ready
Unfortunately, you are not always going to be happy especially when you are married with responsibilities such as a career and children to add on top of it all. I think many people are also quick to leave the moment they are not happy. Perhaps your husband or wife has to put in more hours to make more money so they don't have as much time to spend with you anymore because they are taking care of the family. Situations could change with communication, time, and effort. It's important to take everything into consideration.
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Unfortunately, you are not always going to be happy especially when you are married with responsibilities such as a career and children to add on top of it all. I think many people are also quick to leave the moment they are not happy. Perhaps your husband or wife has to put in more hours to make more money so they don't have as much time to spend with you anymore because they are taking care of the family. Situations could change with communication, time, and effort. It's important to take everything into consideration.
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Sea
No relationship is better than a unhealthy unhappy relationship! That is so correct. I'm middle aged and I've found out long ago that it's not worth it going through any of this people! I'm so happy on my own. If your partner that mistreats you wants to change and truly does change your relationship might be worth it. You will lose yourselves if you continue to put up with it. look for relationships you deserve. Even with friends. Noones perfect but you shouldn't put up with any kind of abuse manipulation or fear at all!
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No relationship is better than a unhealthy unhappy relationship! That is so correct. I'm middle aged and I've found out long ago that it's not worth it going through any of this people! I'm so happy on my own. If your partner that mistreats you wants to change and truly does change your relationship might be worth it. You will lose yourselves if you continue to put up with it. look for relationships you deserve. Even with friends. Noones perfect but you shouldn't put up with any kind of abuse manipulation or fear at all!
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N3koD3mon
I searched this up for my bestie because she's in a relationship that doesn't seem good at all. :/ I'm trying so hard to help her out and to make her realize about him. She doesn't know how to not be so attached to him and like she doesn't know how to let him go. I care about her and love her sm and I know it's none of my business but I'm trying to help her out. I sent this to her and yeah. Your videos always help me and I definitely think you're good at what you speak about. Stay safe!
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I searched this up for my bestie because she's in a relationship that doesn't seem good at all. :/ I'm trying so hard to help her out and to make her realize about him. She doesn't know how to not be so attached to him and like she doesn't know how to let him go. I care about her and love her sm and I know it's none of my business but I'm trying to help her out. I sent this to her and yeah. Your videos always help me and I definitely think you're good at what you speak about. Stay safe!
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Big
Many of these points I see in my girlfriend. But its only like 5 months into our relationship, and these points dont happen often. Is this a sign of whats to come in the future? If so should I just get out now or wait and see? I also would feel guilty for leaving her because with her previous relationship her boyfriend left her and she got really depressed and had suicidal thoughts. Is this her guilt tripping me to stay with her? Would really like some insight on this, thank you.
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Many of these points I see in my girlfriend. But its only like 5 months into our relationship, and these points dont happen often. Is this a sign of whats to come in the future? If so should I just get out now or wait and see? I also would feel guilty for leaving her because with her previous relationship her boyfriend left her and she got really depressed and had suicidal thoughts. Is this her guilt tripping me to stay with her? Would really like some insight on this, thank you.
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tanjiro
Being insecure may not necessarily make the relationship unhealthy or toxic. Because of personal experience, I really just find it hard to trust other people and often overthink things. Sometimes we just gotta calm down and think. It may not be as bad as we think. He is nice to me and spends time with me. I'm the one who thinks too much which makes me doubt everything sometimes, even my existence. Just calm down.
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Being insecure may not necessarily make the relationship unhealthy or toxic. Because of personal experience, I really just find it hard to trust other people and often overthink things. Sometimes we just gotta calm down and think. It may not be as bad as we think. He is nice to me and spends time with me. I'm the one who thinks too much which makes me doubt everything sometimes, even my existence. Just calm down.
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SilverSkyler
4: 30 They can be unhappy for a countless number of reasons, many of which could be self-induced or from a misperception or misunderstanding or anything. You overgeneralizing this condition and saying time to let the relationship go instead of suggesting they try to work it out first is very callous and disappointing. I watched many of your other vids and enjoyed them but this one is very poorly written.
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4: 30 They can be unhappy for a countless number of reasons, many of which could be self-induced or from a misperception or misunderstanding or anything. You overgeneralizing this condition and saying time to let the relationship go instead of suggesting they try to work it out first is very callous and disappointing. I watched many of your other vids and enjoyed them but this one is very poorly written.
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Howard
According to #drwiseone, repairing a toxic relationship will take time, patience, & diligence. This is especially the case, Astrologer #drwiseone, given that most toxic relationships often occur as a result of longstanding issues in the current relationship or as a result of unaddressed issues from prior relationships. But a big thanks to him in resolving the toxic relationship with a loving spell portion
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According to #drwiseone, repairing a toxic relationship will take time, patience, & diligence. This is especially the case, Astrologer #drwiseone, given that most toxic relationships often occur as a result of longstanding issues in the current relationship or as a result of unaddressed issues from prior relationships. But a big thanks to him in resolving the toxic relationship with a loving spell portion
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unknown
ive experienced a lot of these in my relationship, its my first relationship so im a little lost, but ive brought a lot of this up multiple times and he continues to do it. i feel like im constantly on an emotional rollercoaster bc its really bad some days but then so good on other days and im a little stuck. i dont feel good in the relationship anymore but i dont know what to do
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ive experienced a lot of these in my relationship, its my first relationship so im a little lost, but ive brought a lot of this up multiple times and he continues to do it. i feel like im constantly on an emotional rollercoaster bc its really bad some days but then so good on other days and im a little stuck. i dont feel good in the relationship anymore but i dont know what to do
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Tay11
how to fix unhealthy relationships
1. Don't dwell on the past. Sure, part of repairing the relationship will likely involve addressing past events.
2. View your partner with compassion.
3. Start therapy.
4. Find support.
5. Practice healthy communication.
6. Be accountable.
7. Heal individually.
8. Hold space for the other's change.
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how to fix unhealthy relationships
1. Don't dwell on the past. Sure, part of repairing the relationship will likely involve addressing past events.
2. View your partner with compassion.
3. Start therapy.
4. Find support.
5. Practice healthy communication.
6. Be accountable.
7. Heal individually.
8. Hold space for the other's change.
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Savvy
My mum and dad have most of these signs but unfortunately she will never leave my dad. Lol When you're in love with someone, you really don't see the red flags. I know they're both my parents but I really don't think they're right for each other, and my dad is super toxic to me and my brother, he's very negative, sometimes puts us down and controlling.
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My mum and dad have most of these signs but unfortunately she will never leave my dad. Lol When you're in love with someone, you really don't see the red flags. I know they're both my parents but I really don't think they're right for each other, and my dad is super toxic to me and my brother, he's very negative, sometimes puts us down and controlling.
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Xiaobow
its hard since when they ignore me i start realizing how toxic it is, but the moment they talk to me, i forget all about ir and call myself crazy saying how its not toxic, this relationship caused me depression and so on but i can't leave because then i'll be all alone and i wont have any one, its so hard and i really dont want to be alone
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its hard since when they ignore me i start realizing how toxic it is, but the moment they talk to me, i forget all about ir and call myself crazy saying how its not toxic, this relationship caused me depression and so on but i can't leave because then i'll be all alone and i wont have any one, its so hard and i really dont want to be alone
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Susan
these look like a true sign of splitting-up thing. but i must say the third one isn't so clear and definite. .. btw my man is just asking me for some great expereince in bed. as usual. that is my secret that i use natural drops spanish fly 10 minutes before so i'll delay him now for a while
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these look like a true sign of splitting-up thing. but i must say the third one isn't so clear and definite. .. btw my man is just asking me for some great expereince in bed. as usual. that is my secret that i use natural drops spanish fly 10 minutes before so i'll delay him now for a while
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VINEGAR
2: 37 & 1: 19 - This hit hard. I didnt know that i was in an abusive relationship until my parents called it out, and while i'm still in that relationship, this one hit me like a freight train. Like, this is our entire relationship summarized.
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2: 37 & 1: 19 - This hit hard. I didnt know that i was in an abusive relationship until my parents called it out, and while i'm still in that relationship, this one hit me like a freight train. Like, this is our entire relationship summarized.
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Radish
Not my last relationship but the one before was extremely toxic and he hurt me a lot, but I was the one accused for abuse and other things, this video reminds me of how bad it was, it was extremely one way and it was just horrible
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Not my last relationship but the one before was extremely toxic and he hurt me a lot, but I was the one accused for abuse and other things, this video reminds me of how bad it was, it was extremely one way and it was just horrible
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Диннер
ive had all of these problems in my first and last relationships, damn i fcking hate relationships and love after such an exhausting experience, i hope ill never fall in love again, such a terrible feeling
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ive had all of these problems in my first and last relationships, damn i fcking hate relationships and love after such an exhausting experience, i hope ill never fall in love again, such a terrible feeling
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Sushmitha
In my relationship am wrong and he is wrong too. But I have tried to resolve and correct things many times. But everytime things went wrong. Please help should I breakup or continue. Please help
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In my relationship am wrong and he is wrong too. But I have tried to resolve and correct things many times. But everytime things went wrong. Please help should I breakup or continue. Please help
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