How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
thea
Lmaoo I remember when I was younger I've always said ew to anyone who tried to have kind physical acts such as hugging and holding hands. It turns out that I didn't really receive an actual hug from my parents and whenever I cry they just get mad and scolded me to go to my room oof. The fact that I'm disappointed in my own parents is just miserable, I just wished that they would be more mature.
I remembered that day I heard that my father who I used to look up to had another woman in his life. Once I heard that, I freezed. My whole body just froze. My eyes were widened and my body just went to bed and those memories I had with him were fake. They were just not there anymore. And on that day onwards, I have never trusted him or even talk to him again. I was 6 at that time. So after he got caught by my mother, she started having an alcohol addiction at the point where my dad had to go take care of my lil brother and I.
I still have those memories left in my heavy heart, I just didn't know that my parents would be people I really hate. But so far, my parents are still together. At the same time everytime I see them having romantic moments, I just didn't want to believe that those moments were true. I still think they're fake.
I have ignored the past but will never forget them. It is literally a huge memory of myself looking up to my parents.
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Lmaoo I remember when I was younger I've always said ew to anyone who tried to have kind physical acts such as hugging and holding hands. It turns out that I didn't really receive an actual hug from my parents and whenever I cry they just get mad and scolded me to go to my room oof. The fact that I'm disappointed in my own parents is just miserable, I just wished that they would be more mature.
I remembered that day I heard that my father who I used to look up to had another woman in his life. Once I heard that, I freezed. My whole body just froze. My eyes were widened and my body just went to bed and those memories I had with him were fake. They were just not there anymore. And on that day onwards, I have never trusted him or even talk to him again. I was 6 at that time. So after he got caught by my mother, she started having an alcohol addiction at the point where my dad had to go take care of my lil brother and I.
I still have those memories left in my heavy heart, I just didn't know that my parents would be people I really hate. But so far, my parents are still together. At the same time everytime I see them having romantic moments, I just didn't want to believe that those moments were true. I still think they're fake.
I have ignored the past but will never forget them. It is literally a huge memory of myself looking up to my parents.
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Denki
With my dad I cry when he sits me down to have a nice calm talk when he shouts i dont cry hes called me very bad things i am extremely insecure and I've had such a toxic school life i have social anxiety and have passed depression but after that i have come extremely sensitive and cry for almost anything like when things dont go my way when my mom yells at me for something I didn't do I cry so far as I remember it has happened once I cry but i dont feel sadness or when I'm about to cry i dont feel sadness rising it's just like I break I dont know my parents are currently divorcing they share custody in my love relationship I used to have made me happier from this life but only him not his friends I've felt like I dont know who I am I try being someone im not I dont even notice and when I try to find myself I say how do I know that's me what if that's someone else I want attention with my friends I want to talk a lot I want to be the center but it's not like that im lost and I didn't see a therapist for my depression it slowly faded I guess
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With my dad I cry when he sits me down to have a nice calm talk when he shouts i dont cry hes called me very bad things i am extremely insecure and I've had such a toxic school life i have social anxiety and have passed depression but after that i have come extremely sensitive and cry for almost anything like when things dont go my way when my mom yells at me for something I didn't do I cry so far as I remember it has happened once I cry but i dont feel sadness or when I'm about to cry i dont feel sadness rising it's just like I break I dont know my parents are currently divorcing they share custody in my love relationship I used to have made me happier from this life but only him not his friends I've felt like I dont know who I am I try being someone im not I dont even notice and when I try to find myself I say how do I know that's me what if that's someone else I want attention with my friends I want to talk a lot I want to be the center but it's not like that im lost and I didn't see a therapist for my depression it slowly faded I guess
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L0calGam3r
Is it weird that I relate to all of these love styles and the reasons behind them, and yet my parents aren't like the descriptions given with each? Like, I relate to every single love style presented, and yet my parents are different. The one thing I would say I feel is that I need to conceal my emotions around them, but that's just because they're usually busy. With my first crush, I think the issue was that I was too attached, too needy. I've moved on, because she and I didn't work out, and I have another crush now. I've tried to take notes from my first crush though so that I can try to avoid making the same mistakes, and so far she and I are still in the friend stage, I haven't told her that I have a crush on her, so that's already an improvement given that I told my first crush I liked her within 3 months of realizing I had a crush on her.
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Is it weird that I relate to all of these love styles and the reasons behind them, and yet my parents aren't like the descriptions given with each? Like, I relate to every single love style presented, and yet my parents are different. The one thing I would say I feel is that I need to conceal my emotions around them, but that's just because they're usually busy. With my first crush, I think the issue was that I was too attached, too needy. I've moved on, because she and I didn't work out, and I have another crush now. I've tried to take notes from my first crush though so that I can try to avoid making the same mistakes, and so far she and I are still in the friend stage, I haven't told her that I have a crush on her, so that's already an improvement given that I told my first crush I liked her within 3 months of realizing I had a crush on her.
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education
I am for sure the controller. My parents always had to much job to do. Whenever I asked them once to stay the answer was: Sweety, we do this for you and that made me guilty. Nobody ever gave me the attention I needed, so I grew up quiet and really shy, I hated any type of attention to me. It was like everyone was reaching to judge me. Noone was good enough, and I needed to hide from them, for my own good. And I try to protect friends like that also. I HATE IT! My teachers were even worse. They made my confidence go lower than the ground. And today, I live the worst day in my life bottled. Why? Because that's what I learned to do. Or else I just break, but I never had the comfort to do that. Control=compulsion. I can't let myself on someone anymore. Me, or nothing.
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I am for sure the controller. My parents always had to much job to do. Whenever I asked them once to stay the answer was: Sweety, we do this for you and that made me guilty. Nobody ever gave me the attention I needed, so I grew up quiet and really shy, I hated any type of attention to me. It was like everyone was reaching to judge me. Noone was good enough, and I needed to hide from them, for my own good. And I try to protect friends like that also. I HATE IT! My teachers were even worse. They made my confidence go lower than the ground. And today, I live the worst day in my life bottled. Why? Because that's what I learned to do. Or else I just break, but I never had the comfort to do that. Control=compulsion. I can't let myself on someone anymore. Me, or nothing.
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The
A bit of everything but not in a bad way I guess. My parents do give me the attention, well at least they made the effort to pretend like they do. Thats why sometimes they do forget their promises. One of my parents would let me go out and the other would yell at me when I get home and make me promise to not do that again. I experienced a bit of everything so I figured out the best way to live on is just ignore them. I pretty much mature on my own, provide emotional need to myself and trying to get rid of my emotional problems the hard way. So I have a big problem in all kind of relationships is that Im not close to, rely on or have expectation in anyone even the peoples that I really know them.
-Avoider maybe
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A bit of everything but not in a bad way I guess. My parents do give me the attention, well at least they made the effort to pretend like they do. Thats why sometimes they do forget their promises. One of my parents would let me go out and the other would yell at me when I get home and make me promise to not do that again. I experienced a bit of everything so I figured out the best way to live on is just ignore them. I pretty much mature on my own, provide emotional need to myself and trying to get rid of my emotional problems the hard way. So I have a big problem in all kind of relationships is that Im not close to, rely on or have expectation in anyone even the peoples that I really know them.
-Avoider maybe
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Anna
I find it both funny and confusing how my childhood is similar to the first love style shown, yet, I am very much both a people pleaser, a victim, and an avoider [due to the heavy amount of bullying I received from ages 3-12; mainly for me not being able to handle my own (and others) emotions, from having to grow up fast].
And, don't judge my parents for not being there for me when I was little, as my older brother (who was 11 at the time) was diagnosed with liver failure and almost died. For about 6 months, I only ever saw one (or less) parent at a time unless we (me and my oldest brother; who was14 at the time) were visiting him at the hospital with my parents.
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I find it both funny and confusing how my childhood is similar to the first love style shown, yet, I am very much both a people pleaser, a victim, and an avoider [due to the heavy amount of bullying I received from ages 3-12; mainly for me not being able to handle my own (and others) emotions, from having to grow up fast].
And, don't judge my parents for not being there for me when I was little, as my older brother (who was 11 at the time) was diagnosed with liver failure and almost died. For about 6 months, I only ever saw one (or less) parent at a time unless we (me and my oldest brother; who was14 at the time) were visiting him at the hospital with my parents.
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Kayla_Scarlett
I'm like a combo of the pleaser, the facillitator, the avoider, and the victim (it's hard for me to show my love for the person I love the most and I tend to stay serious most of the time, but they helped me so much to the point of me being able to somewhat break free from some of the parts of being the victim and yes, I have depression and yes my parents told me that I shouldn't cry and I forced myself to stop crying and I usually don't cry at all even if I'm in absolute pain, but when I met my special someone, I started to take it slow and steady on to be able to show emotions and I was able to do that, I'm happy that I met them)
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I'm like a combo of the pleaser, the facillitator, the avoider, and the victim (it's hard for me to show my love for the person I love the most and I tend to stay serious most of the time, but they helped me so much to the point of me being able to somewhat break free from some of the parts of being the victim and yes, I have depression and yes my parents told me that I shouldn't cry and I forced myself to stop crying and I usually don't cry at all even if I'm in absolute pain, but when I met my special someone, I started to take it slow and steady on to be able to show emotions and I was able to do that, I'm happy that I met them)
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Skai
Can you make a video on how to deal with a narcissistic parent. I love my mom, she showed me a lot of affection growing up. But she has anger issues and gets upset very easily. She's also the type of narcissist that thinks that everything is about her. She's easily offended, makes a lot of rage the minute things don't go her way, she's very manipulative, she always think people are jealous of her, she never acknowledges the truth about herself, she's very judgmental. etc.
How can I make her see her narcissism? Because she never thinks she's in the wrong. Any tactics?
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Can you make a video on how to deal with a narcissistic parent. I love my mom, she showed me a lot of affection growing up. But she has anger issues and gets upset very easily. She's also the type of narcissist that thinks that everything is about her. She's easily offended, makes a lot of rage the minute things don't go her way, she's very manipulative, she always think people are jealous of her, she never acknowledges the truth about herself, she's very judgmental. etc.
How can I make her see her narcissism? Because she never thinks she's in the wrong. Any tactics?
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Vengeful
1 attention - dad no,
(dad cared for work more than family)
CONTROLLER
2. too strict - makes people too compliant, INDECISION
3. overly critical - dad hates chewing noises. I ate in fear. slowly.
PLEASER
4. alone and misunderstood.
inconsistent parent.
ROMANTIC AND IDEALISTIC
5. neglected emotional needs.
doesn't open up
AVOIDER
6. bad childhood experiences.
full-grown female teachers and girls my age and older bullied me since age five. whole life.
VICTIM
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1 attention - dad no,
(dad cared for work more than family)
CONTROLLER
2. too strict - makes people too compliant, INDECISION
3. overly critical - dad hates chewing noises. I ate in fear. slowly.
PLEASER
4. alone and misunderstood.
inconsistent parent.
ROMANTIC AND IDEALISTIC
5. neglected emotional needs.
doesn't open up
AVOIDER
6. bad childhood experiences.
full-grown female teachers and girls my age and older bullied me since age five. whole life.
VICTIM
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Daemonenkoenigin13
Can your Love Style be molded or affected by your current relationship?
It seems like originally I am a controlling Facilitator (yay, which means I crave intimacy but naturally have problems trusting others. But since my current relationship I've become an Avoider as well. Or do these three love styles go hand in hand anyways?
I never thought my childhood was that bad: 'D
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Can your Love Style be molded or affected by your current relationship?
It seems like originally I am a controlling Facilitator (yay, which means I crave intimacy but naturally have problems trusting others. But since my current relationship I've become an Avoider as well. Or do these three love styles go hand in hand anyways?
I never thought my childhood was that bad: 'D
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AlexTheConfuddled
2 and 3 definitely hit home. I find it difficult to make decisions, say no to people etc because i overthink it all of the time and whatever i say might not be what they want me to say. This is because ive grew up in a very controlling childhood and was made to do a lot of things in a certain order, when they wanted it etc. I didnt really have much freedom.
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2 and 3 definitely hit home. I find it difficult to make decisions, say no to people etc because i overthink it all of the time and whatever i say might not be what they want me to say. This is because ive grew up in a very controlling childhood and was made to do a lot of things in a certain order, when they wanted it etc. I didnt really have much freedom.
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Tatianna
How do I fix myself if all of these things happened and all of it has left me feeling lost and scarred and lonely? So often these videos and others similar to it help with the recognition of a problem but not with finding solutions. So if anybody's got resources for solutions to these problems, I'm here for it. Please?
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How do I fix myself if all of these things happened and all of it has left me feeling lost and scarred and lonely? So often these videos and others similar to it help with the recognition of a problem but not with finding solutions. So if anybody's got resources for solutions to these problems, I'm here for it. Please?
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Alayna
me: can I go for a ride to the store thats literally next to our house
my gma: sigh god you ask for too much, no
me: can I go for a little ride to go dump the garbage just to get out of this house?
my gma: sighs
me: walks away and lays back down from last week because I already know what the answer is
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me: can I go for a ride to the store thats literally next to our house
my gma: sigh god you ask for too much, no
me: can I go for a little ride to go dump the garbage just to get out of this house?
my gma: sighs
me: walks away and lays back down from last week because I already know what the answer is
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Waldmeister
So. I feel like I had genuinely good, loving and reliable parents, that never let me down in any way. So in theory none of these types should match
I guess I'm probably closest to the pleaser type, even though I was never pressured to meet any expectations.
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So. I feel like I had genuinely good, loving and reliable parents, that never let me down in any way. So in theory none of these types should match
I guess I'm probably closest to the pleaser type, even though I was never pressured to meet any expectations.
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Stephen
It is too far beyond comprehension to see someone who grew up like that as a kid, to actually have any relationships at all. I had parents who split before I was ten, and now I am almost 61, and I still feel much to estranged to think about girlfriends.
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It is too far beyond comprehension to see someone who grew up like that as a kid, to actually have any relationships at all. I had parents who split before I was ten, and now I am almost 61, and I still feel much to estranged to think about girlfriends.
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mimi
An off topic opinion but I think the Psych2Go staff loves Korean culture. They often mention Korean things like bibimbap, ramen, k drama. I am a K drama, K pop fan and it hypes me up every time they mention mention something related to Koreans
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An off topic opinion but I think the Psych2Go staff loves Korean culture. They often mention Korean things like bibimbap, ramen, k drama. I am a K drama, K pop fan and it hypes me up every time they mention mention something related to Koreans
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Lay's
Just now I realized that my childhood was not that great and I relate to most of the points. I always thought that I'm the reason for all the troubles I'm going through but now I feel a bit relieved knowing I'm not the only reason.
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Just now I realized that my childhood was not that great and I relate to most of the points. I always thought that I'm the reason for all the troubles I'm going through but now I feel a bit relieved knowing I'm not the only reason.
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Sadique
Yes, But these conditions can suppressed by love you have for your partner.
I am one of them who experience may be all these experiences at some point of my life but I am not what they predict about my behavior.
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Yes, But these conditions can suppressed by love you have for your partner.
I am one of them who experience may be all these experiences at some point of my life but I am not what they predict about my behavior.
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Imp
Why do I relate to all of them.
dads violent and judges and hates emotions
mom is distant unpredictable a doesnt care
sigh fml this is why i cant have normal relationships
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Why do I relate to all of them.
dads violent and judges and hates emotions
mom is distant unpredictable a doesnt care
sigh fml this is why i cant have normal relationships
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Mr
Number 1: I kinda got taught more on the internet than my own parents
Number 4: This happens too much lately
Number 6: COWABUNGA I HAVE TOO MANY STORIES
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Number 1: I kinda got taught more on the internet than my own parents
Number 4: This happens too much lately
Number 6: COWABUNGA I HAVE TOO MANY STORIES
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Dira
I didn't live with my parents, I lived with my aunt who's a single mother, and yeah it turns out that I'm a avoidant. I'm being a single since birth lmao
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I didn't live with my parents, I lived with my aunt who's a single mother, and yeah it turns out that I'm a avoidant. I'm being a single since birth lmao
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John
Also, important is if you were bullied at school, had no friends and had to walk around on eggshells your whole life until they were about 18 years old.
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Also, important is if you were bullied at school, had no friends and had to walk around on eggshells your whole life until they were about 18 years old.
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David
After listening to this again, you describe everyone with bad childhoods is toxic, you did a video of gaslighting maybe you should watch that again.
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After listening to this again, you describe everyone with bad childhoods is toxic, you did a video of gaslighting maybe you should watch that again.
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Sweaty
Ok what happens when you grow up with parents that treat you with every need throughout your entire childhood. What love style do you have then?
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Ok what happens when you grow up with parents that treat you with every need throughout your entire childhood. What love style do you have then?
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Honey
I'm the pleaser easily I just get so scared by my dad that I just say lets talk about it later and walk away and never bring it up again
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I'm the pleaser easily I just get so scared by my dad that I just say lets talk about it later and walk away and never bring it up again
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