7 Hidden Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
hi
i cant be diagnosed right now, i cant tell my parents everything ive been through and ask for a diagnosis. since im under 18, its unlikely it is bpd unless the symptoms have occured for many years, for me its been my whole life, but it used to be similar to hidden bpd, i wouldnt show it, and for the past 2 years i have shown symptoms. bpd is the only thing that alligns with all of my symptoms and background. it explains everything that happens to me. episodes, splitting on people, drastic mood swings, sh, suic--l thoughts (theres more but trying to keep it short. but i cant get a diagnosis, i have no excuse when someone asks me why i randomly stopped being their friend or why im only ever at the lowest point of my life or the peak of my life. i have no excuse. i have done research on the nhs page, i have read hundreds and i mean hundreds of articles and essays about bpd, i even wrote my own essay about my symptoms and experiences in my life and how they align with bpd but not bipolar disorder for example. people say u cant self diagnose things so im just knows as a toxic person with unstable relationships with her only friends who understand. every single video, i can see myself in all those situations, i can remember times when ive been experiencing those things. every single article and essay and powerpoint and medical page i can strongly relate to. i struggle with anger issues but no one thinks i do since i rarely lash out infront of people unless if i have no strength left to mask it. i have struggled with sh and su1c1dl thoughts for years now, whenever i try to explain how i feel to someone i always end up saying something different, like i was venting to a friend and i ended up saying how everyone always hates me. i wasnt even upset, at the time it was barely even true, i just never know how i feel unless i explain it with bpd terms. i cant count all of the impulsive decisions, all the times ive screamed at my parents when they say something i disagree with, all the times ive run away, all the times ive ran out of class or school, all the times ive done illegal things which i wont say on here, all of the problems with food that dont quite class themself as any ed (not eating for long periods of time, then binging, then puk1ng it up. i know its not bipolar disorder since they can be manic which lasts days up to a month or multiple months (i think, i havent done too much research on bd recently) but i dont, i have short periods, usually a few hours to a day or two at most of just sh, non stop crying, isolating myself or when someone tries to talk to me i lash out at them, planning a whole date to commit just to stop all of these emotions after a few hours/days and everything is amazing again, and then it gets horibble and worse and then i have one of these again, if i have bpd then its an episode. i never know if i miss someone because i genuinely miss them or if i was obsessed with them and miss them even if they were manipulative and ruined my life, which is like bpd and their fp (favourite person. i do things and its not me doing it, i lash out, i scream horrible things at people i love that care about me, i have episodes (if its not bpd then i still experience all these symptoms, i do many illegal thinsg not caring if i get caught, knowing cameras and witnesses exist, but i cant do anything to stop.
im a horrible person and i cant control what i do, its like im not even in my body, im aware of everything i do but i do it without thinking through it, i constantly act on impulse. but i cant be diagnosed, and most people say self diagnosis isnt valid. i cant explain anything i do, apart from that i did it for a reason i dont know. you called me a name an buser called me as a joke so i began hating u and sent u multiple messsages that would take you hours to read about how much i hate you, when u did nothing at all. but i cant say 'its my bpd' since im undiagnosed. i cant say 'its my undiagnosed bpd' since then ill seem like one of those quirky emo kids who self diagnose themself with everything. so when you say 'i understand' you really dont. i dont understand myself, and u, someone who doesnt even have a personality disorder would never ever know what its like. i want a diagnosis so bad but i cant tell my family everything ive been through. ive been to therapy before, i hate it, it doesnt help, saying 5 things i can see when im having a panic attack does not help. they act like they know what you're going through, they say they get it but no one does. i need help, but ive gotten better before, i can do it alone without anyone having to worry about me again, i dont want people to give me special treatment, i dont want my parents to raid my room and take away things like lighters or deodrant because they dont trust me. every single symptom in this, every single symptom in everything ive read i extremely strongly relate to. so if i dont have bpd, im just really really messed up then i guess
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i cant be diagnosed right now, i cant tell my parents everything ive been through and ask for a diagnosis. since im under 18, its unlikely it is bpd unless the symptoms have occured for many years, for me its been my whole life, but it used to be similar to hidden bpd, i wouldnt show it, and for the past 2 years i have shown symptoms. bpd is the only thing that alligns with all of my symptoms and background. it explains everything that happens to me. episodes, splitting on people, drastic mood swings, sh, suic--l thoughts (theres more but trying to keep it short. but i cant get a diagnosis, i have no excuse when someone asks me why i randomly stopped being their friend or why im only ever at the lowest point of my life or the peak of my life. i have no excuse. i have done research on the nhs page, i have read hundreds and i mean hundreds of articles and essays about bpd, i even wrote my own essay about my symptoms and experiences in my life and how they align with bpd but not bipolar disorder for example. people say u cant self diagnose things so im just knows as a toxic person with unstable relationships with her only friends who understand. every single video, i can see myself in all those situations, i can remember times when ive been experiencing those things. every single article and essay and powerpoint and medical page i can strongly relate to. i struggle with anger issues but no one thinks i do since i rarely lash out infront of people unless if i have no strength left to mask it. i have struggled with sh and su1c1dl thoughts for years now, whenever i try to explain how i feel to someone i always end up saying something different, like i was venting to a friend and i ended up saying how everyone always hates me. i wasnt even upset, at the time it was barely even true, i just never know how i feel unless i explain it with bpd terms. i cant count all of the impulsive decisions, all the times ive screamed at my parents when they say something i disagree with, all the times ive run away, all the times ive ran out of class or school, all the times ive done illegal things which i wont say on here, all of the problems with food that dont quite class themself as any ed (not eating for long periods of time, then binging, then puk1ng it up. i know its not bipolar disorder since they can be manic which lasts days up to a month or multiple months (i think, i havent done too much research on bd recently) but i dont, i have short periods, usually a few hours to a day or two at most of just sh, non stop crying, isolating myself or when someone tries to talk to me i lash out at them, planning a whole date to commit just to stop all of these emotions after a few hours/days and everything is amazing again, and then it gets horibble and worse and then i have one of these again, if i have bpd then its an episode. i never know if i miss someone because i genuinely miss them or if i was obsessed with them and miss them even if they were manipulative and ruined my life, which is like bpd and their fp (favourite person. i do things and its not me doing it, i lash out, i scream horrible things at people i love that care about me, i have episodes (if its not bpd then i still experience all these symptoms, i do many illegal thinsg not caring if i get caught, knowing cameras and witnesses exist, but i cant do anything to stop.
im a horrible person and i cant control what i do, its like im not even in my body, im aware of everything i do but i do it without thinking through it, i constantly act on impulse. but i cant be diagnosed, and most people say self diagnosis isnt valid. i cant explain anything i do, apart from that i did it for a reason i dont know. you called me a name an buser called me as a joke so i began hating u and sent u multiple messsages that would take you hours to read about how much i hate you, when u did nothing at all. but i cant say 'its my bpd' since im undiagnosed. i cant say 'its my undiagnosed bpd' since then ill seem like one of those quirky emo kids who self diagnose themself with everything. so when you say 'i understand' you really dont. i dont understand myself, and u, someone who doesnt even have a personality disorder would never ever know what its like. i want a diagnosis so bad but i cant tell my family everything ive been through. ive been to therapy before, i hate it, it doesnt help, saying 5 things i can see when im having a panic attack does not help. they act like they know what you're going through, they say they get it but no one does. i need help, but ive gotten better before, i can do it alone without anyone having to worry about me again, i dont want people to give me special treatment, i dont want my parents to raid my room and take away things like lighters or deodrant because they dont trust me. every single symptom in this, every single symptom in everything ive read i extremely strongly relate to. so if i dont have bpd, im just really really messed up then i guess
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GEORDIE
nment adviser for years and supported people online for the past 30 yrs and never takes praise or ever been paid as he also has mental illness. seems ever singer, sports personality or movie star say they have a mental illness it is the norm. he fought ever1 and still do. no 1 ever talks about what he did. ty even if u check his 4 songs and then compair to now and truth. he has always said any dr. frof, institution to say he has it wrong. everytime he has won, he don't have letters to his name, all his life he has had it and supported and been taught by the people who r ill. from uk to usa, from oz to africa, india, spain inface all of europe asia and the americas. no 1 is the same he preaches and diff countirs, religion, race, colour or even from 1, 2nd or 3rd as we say countiris r, he never says nothing but he is there, he saved my live and his admin and mods on line saved hundreds of thousands, try be4 u say no we won't. plz. i will get anthony nemo to take any of u online, he knows and will agree with so much u have read from a book but will teach every 1 of u the truth and u pick the crowd that will see this live. just ask and prove this post is true or challange and sort this, fool him or he will just make u see what u have wrong
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nment adviser for years and supported people online for the past 30 yrs and never takes praise or ever been paid as he also has mental illness. seems ever singer, sports personality or movie star say they have a mental illness it is the norm. he fought ever1 and still do. no 1 ever talks about what he did. ty even if u check his 4 songs and then compair to now and truth. he has always said any dr. frof, institution to say he has it wrong. everytime he has won, he don't have letters to his name, all his life he has had it and supported and been taught by the people who r ill. from uk to usa, from oz to africa, india, spain inface all of europe asia and the americas. no 1 is the same he preaches and diff countirs, religion, race, colour or even from 1, 2nd or 3rd as we say countiris r, he never says nothing but he is there, he saved my live and his admin and mods on line saved hundreds of thousands, try be4 u say no we won't. plz. i will get anthony nemo to take any of u online, he knows and will agree with so much u have read from a book but will teach every 1 of u the truth and u pick the crowd that will see this live. just ask and prove this post is true or challange and sort this, fool him or he will just make u see what u have wrong
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Stan
I have BPD and something that i feel i needed to hear when i was just diagnosed with it or when i was undiagnosed is:
You can love and be loved without this disorder getting in the way, you can be a loving and good person, people can love you the way you are.
BDP is one of those disorders with so much prejudice. It is hard, going through it and getting to a controlled point. There will be always better and worst days, but therapy helps, a good therapist helps.
I know it's not as easy to get good quality therapy, but keep trying, don't give up and push through those intrusive thoughts about yourself. You deserve it, you can do it and you have a place in this world. Look for help of any kind. Life can be worth living and fighting for.
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I have BPD and something that i feel i needed to hear when i was just diagnosed with it or when i was undiagnosed is:
You can love and be loved without this disorder getting in the way, you can be a loving and good person, people can love you the way you are.
BDP is one of those disorders with so much prejudice. It is hard, going through it and getting to a controlled point. There will be always better and worst days, but therapy helps, a good therapist helps.
I know it's not as easy to get good quality therapy, but keep trying, don't give up and push through those intrusive thoughts about yourself. You deserve it, you can do it and you have a place in this world. Look for help of any kind. Life can be worth living and fighting for.
reply
Nezumi
I think I have It cuz I did a research and really dig into it. I still wanna go to get professional opinion obviously I'm not gonna diagnosed myself but lot of the symptoms fits me scarily well. Especially the part when I get so fixated on one person and then I am obsessed with them and they are all I care about but once they change their behaviour even slightly I think they hate me and that makes me hate them too. I can't help but spent money when I have them. I just can NOT help myself. I spent 3000 impulsively in one hour. Today I spent 20k. Sure most of it was bills I have to pay. I don't know what it is. but something is not okey. I need to stop it it's like I'm out of control
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I think I have It cuz I did a research and really dig into it. I still wanna go to get professional opinion obviously I'm not gonna diagnosed myself but lot of the symptoms fits me scarily well. Especially the part when I get so fixated on one person and then I am obsessed with them and they are all I care about but once they change their behaviour even slightly I think they hate me and that makes me hate them too. I can't help but spent money when I have them. I just can NOT help myself. I spent 3000 impulsively in one hour. Today I spent 20k. Sure most of it was bills I have to pay. I don't know what it is. but something is not okey. I need to stop it it's like I'm out of control
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Asha
I have all these, yet I've previously been treated for Bipolar. I've never been manic in my life. I've been impulsive, but not manic. I tried telling one therapist I attempted to see, that I thought I had BPD. She said if I did I would have a criminal record history of assault from raging and everyone around me would hate me because of how I acted and that I didn't seem that way to her. People are quick to diagnose bipolar disorder when it's really BPD, and it's been EXTREMELY frustrating. Why do doctors immediately become dismissive when you feel like you have something wrong with you? Do they think we're dumber than them in knowing about our own bodies?
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I have all these, yet I've previously been treated for Bipolar. I've never been manic in my life. I've been impulsive, but not manic. I tried telling one therapist I attempted to see, that I thought I had BPD. She said if I did I would have a criminal record history of assault from raging and everyone around me would hate me because of how I acted and that I didn't seem that way to her. People are quick to diagnose bipolar disorder when it's really BPD, and it's been EXTREMELY frustrating. Why do doctors immediately become dismissive when you feel like you have something wrong with you? Do they think we're dumber than them in knowing about our own bodies?
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GREY
I always thought there was something wrong with me because I experienced all of these symptoms. But I didn't know they were symptoms of BPD. I make others mad and upset from these things that I can't control/handle. I'm scared to mention it to an adult because they might act weird toward me, get mad at me or say I'm faking it (or just wanting attention or something to rely on as en excuse) Two of my main concerns are- that I am terrified of being abandoned and I have very aggressive impulses/intrusive thoughts to the point where they're interfering with my relationships and studying.
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I always thought there was something wrong with me because I experienced all of these symptoms. But I didn't know they were symptoms of BPD. I make others mad and upset from these things that I can't control/handle. I'm scared to mention it to an adult because they might act weird toward me, get mad at me or say I'm faking it (or just wanting attention or something to rely on as en excuse) Two of my main concerns are- that I am terrified of being abandoned and I have very aggressive impulses/intrusive thoughts to the point where they're interfering with my relationships and studying.
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Mike
Ive had BPD my entire life. 37 years. I realized this disease destroys people. Today will be my last day. Theirs to many people I love. They all have left me because of this illness no one can fix or relate with.
Ive tried everything. I hope one day someone finds a way to beat it. But I lost my fight. If anyone sees this. If its not too late. Trust me fight like hell early. Trust everyone around you before its too late. This disease kills 10% of who has it.
Its torture. Good luck. Sorry if you have this illness. No one deserves it
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Ive had BPD my entire life. 37 years. I realized this disease destroys people. Today will be my last day. Theirs to many people I love. They all have left me because of this illness no one can fix or relate with.
Ive tried everything. I hope one day someone finds a way to beat it. But I lost my fight. If anyone sees this. If its not too late. Trust me fight like hell early. Trust everyone around you before its too late. This disease kills 10% of who has it.
Its torture. Good luck. Sorry if you have this illness. No one deserves it
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ayumiichie
I get very jealous when my few friends or partner starts spending more time with others. It feels like my people are being taken away from me and I can't take that. I also feel shitty, that I don't have people like this to spend time with me so I feel like a total loser. I keep on telling others they should message me more frequently to ease the stress, but they dont. Leave me on seen or not at all and I already feel my anger kicking back in. It's extremely self harmful.
I am diagnosed with borderline btw.
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I get very jealous when my few friends or partner starts spending more time with others. It feels like my people are being taken away from me and I can't take that. I also feel shitty, that I don't have people like this to spend time with me so I feel like a total loser. I keep on telling others they should message me more frequently to ease the stress, but they dont. Leave me on seen or not at all and I already feel my anger kicking back in. It's extremely self harmful.
I am diagnosed with borderline btw.
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Kali
The girl I was falling for was diagnosed with bpd and we always connected because her life story really resonated with me and after needing increasing alone time these last few weeks I noticed that I've been acting waaaay too weird for way too long and it's mainly because I've divided my whole existence in tiny pieces that when they intertwine I feel more and more lost. so if anything, these videos bring a sense of comfort in knowing every problem at least has a name and I really need to get a therapist.
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The girl I was falling for was diagnosed with bpd and we always connected because her life story really resonated with me and after needing increasing alone time these last few weeks I noticed that I've been acting waaaay too weird for way too long and it's mainly because I've divided my whole existence in tiny pieces that when they intertwine I feel more and more lost. so if anything, these videos bring a sense of comfort in knowing every problem at least has a name and I really need to get a therapist.
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MacquarieRidge
I've found that giving myself the love that I didn't receive as a kid can often stop bpd episodes in their tracks. Sometimes its as simple as I love you Macquarie, I see how hard you're working and im really proud of you. Lets go get you some food now.
Its by no means a perfect method but it gives me alot of hope to know that I have been able to provide the most effective treatment in my own healing process.
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I've found that giving myself the love that I didn't receive as a kid can often stop bpd episodes in their tracks. Sometimes its as simple as I love you Macquarie, I see how hard you're working and im really proud of you. Lets go get you some food now.
Its by no means a perfect method but it gives me alot of hope to know that I have been able to provide the most effective treatment in my own healing process.
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Lyna
I feel like I have BPD but I don't know how to say that I want a diagnosis about it to my psychiatrist. I fear that she will mistake it for depression or something to do with autism. (I got the autism diagnosis at 6 and later on the depression one.
I may or may not be confused, but I've informed myself a lot about it and I truly feel like I have BPD.
Any help/suggestions?
Thanks!
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I feel like I have BPD but I don't know how to say that I want a diagnosis about it to my psychiatrist. I fear that she will mistake it for depression or something to do with autism. (I got the autism diagnosis at 6 and later on the depression one.
I may or may not be confused, but I've informed myself a lot about it and I truly feel like I have BPD.
Any help/suggestions?
Thanks!
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SunnyPlays
I identify with a lot of these but is till cant say that i have BPD as i cant get professionally diagnosed as i cant tell my parents anything especially because im young and they will think im just faking it or something like that to waste their time or to get their attention but PLEASE never self diagnose because its really hard for people who ACTUALLY got diagnosed.
love you all
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I identify with a lot of these but is till cant say that i have BPD as i cant get professionally diagnosed as i cant tell my parents anything especially because im young and they will think im just faking it or something like that to waste their time or to get their attention but PLEASE never self diagnose because its really hard for people who ACTUALLY got diagnosed.
love you all
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Angelita
I was recently diagnosed with BPD and I experience every symptom, especially dissociation. I often dissociate a lot and sometimes switch to another personality or start arguing with voices in my head that are of each personality. The dissociation is scary sometimes though when Im not in full control. My body feels heavy like lead and I can even move or speak
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I was recently diagnosed with BPD and I experience every symptom, especially dissociation. I often dissociate a lot and sometimes switch to another personality or start arguing with voices in my head that are of each personality. The dissociation is scary sometimes though when Im not in full control. My body feels heavy like lead and I can even move or speak
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call
My boyfriend has BPD. I know it, I accept it. I'm trying to help him as much as I can. Everything is fine. But Im still scared Ill lose him because I really love him. I'd like to know if there's anything I can do to avoid hurting him in any way. Or if there's anything I can do to make him feel better and comfortable with me. I'll take any advice
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My boyfriend has BPD. I know it, I accept it. I'm trying to help him as much as I can. Everything is fine. But Im still scared Ill lose him because I really love him. I'd like to know if there's anything I can do to avoid hurting him in any way. Or if there's anything I can do to make him feel better and comfortable with me. I'll take any advice
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Moonlight
I have BPD and i am in a relationship. I told him about it and he said I'll get over it. I'll heal with the passage of time so I tried explaining what it is and it's not any mental illness, its a disorder. But he didn't listen and honestly i don't feel good around him or in his company. We're still together but i want to leave
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I have BPD and i am in a relationship. I told him about it and he said I'll get over it. I'll heal with the passage of time so I tried explaining what it is and it's not any mental illness, its a disorder. But he didn't listen and honestly i don't feel good around him or in his company. We're still together but i want to leave
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education
when i was 9-10 years old, i had extreme BPD, but after i accidentally yelled at my friend and hurt her feelings, i completely stopped, i got scared of losing my friends, because that was my greatest fear, having no one, and my bad habits from before when i had BPD are slowly coming back, and i dont like it: (
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when i was 9-10 years old, i had extreme BPD, but after i accidentally yelled at my friend and hurt her feelings, i completely stopped, i got scared of losing my friends, because that was my greatest fear, having no one, and my bad habits from before when i had BPD are slowly coming back, and i dont like it: (
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Caring4u
I never thought I had BPD but now Im having second thoughts. But Im scared to tell my parents because I dont think they will believe me. I relate with all of these. I often feel disconnected from my body like its not real? This rlly helped, Ty! But this all stressed me out and I dont know what to do?
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I never thought I had BPD but now Im having second thoughts. But Im scared to tell my parents because I dont think they will believe me. I relate with all of these. I often feel disconnected from my body like its not real? This rlly helped, Ty! But this all stressed me out and I dont know what to do?
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Widow
Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, there is always a comorbidity. I was diagnosed with BPD and MDD funny enough my therapist suggested I find an emotional support human. I identify with all the hidden BDP symptoms. Some days are good some bad, but connecting to people, anyone is so hard.
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Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, there is always a comorbidity. I was diagnosed with BPD and MDD funny enough my therapist suggested I find an emotional support human. I identify with all the hidden BDP symptoms. Some days are good some bad, but connecting to people, anyone is so hard.
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NewdleSoup
Watching this because my partner may have bpd. I want to be as good as a girlfriend as I can for
her so im doing my research.
Thank you for posting videos like these, psych2go! They helped me so much in realizing I have anxiety and other various problems. NEVER STOP POSTING!
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Watching this because my partner may have bpd. I want to be as good as a girlfriend as I can for
her so im doing my research.
Thank you for posting videos like these, psych2go! They helped me so much in realizing I have anxiety and other various problems. NEVER STOP POSTING!
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Oxe
I really need to talk to my therapist I havent seen her in like a year and since then Ive realized I have a lot of symptoms of bpd and anxiety, and for about 2 years, I just never realized before, and if I think back, I showed symptoms 3-4 years back as well, just not as many
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I really need to talk to my therapist I havent seen her in like a year and since then Ive realized I have a lot of symptoms of bpd and anxiety, and for about 2 years, I just never realized before, and if I think back, I showed symptoms 3-4 years back as well, just not as many
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J$B
I'm diagnosed with BPD i love my girlfriend but my emotions aren't in control does that make me a bad person? She has suffered a lot because of me, i dont wanna hirt her but my other side always controls me and i hurt my parents, freinds, and my relationship is unstable too
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I'm diagnosed with BPD i love my girlfriend but my emotions aren't in control does that make me a bad person? She has suffered a lot because of me, i dont wanna hirt her but my other side always controls me and i hurt my parents, freinds, and my relationship is unstable too
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Ghstie
everyone in my family and past relationships have all told me im just emotional and unbalanced but dont realize what i already tell myself on a daily and the things i internalize which leaves me feeling misunderstood and rejected by everyone
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everyone in my family and past relationships have all told me im just emotional and unbalanced but dont realize what i already tell myself on a daily and the things i internalize which leaves me feeling misunderstood and rejected by everyone
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Patriacia
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
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Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
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Ian
I think I have these signs but I kept it hidden for too long. Now it haunts me everyday, weeks and months because of the past I experience. But I'm afraid to share this to them because my parent's think I'm just a dramatic person.
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I think I have these signs but I kept it hidden for too long. Now it haunts me everyday, weeks and months because of the past I experience. But I'm afraid to share this to them because my parent's think I'm just a dramatic person.
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Eva
I'm not officially diagnosed with BPD, but all these signs hit a little too close to home. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 4 years ago, but somehow it seems like I am not recovering, and my relapses get worse and worse
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I'm not officially diagnosed with BPD, but all these signs hit a little too close to home. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 4 years ago, but somehow it seems like I am not recovering, and my relapses get worse and worse
reply
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