8 Signs of a Controlling Partner To Watch Out For (when you get a partner)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Millie_Gilroy
My girlfriend came up to me and said I might be controlling or abusive. At the time I thought it was brave and I heard her out. I felt riddled with guilt and I tried to rack my brain for signs of these controlling actions. I was heartbroken because Id never want to hurt her on purpose but I did start a lot of arguments and I viewed that as me being controlling. I spoke to a group of friends about it and asked them to be brutal, if I was abusive or controlling I needed to know. They were all stunned. After reading through some text arguments they said that I do have some anger issues that I need to work on but it was in fact my girlfriend who was controlling. She picked her best friend over me every time. Which is usually ok but this friend hated me and my gf would blame me for that, asking me to change for that person so she could have us both. She was so happy after our Easter break because we hung out as a big group each day and she felt really happy that she got to experience that but weeks down the line she blamed me for her friends not asking her to hang out because we spent too much time together and hated that Id become her closest friend because she valued having lots of friends over me. Her best friend started making rude comments towards me and even downright lying or simply ignoring me. One example was where me, my girlfriend her bff and their bff were opening up about SA trauma. I said to this bff that it was ok to feel those feelings and you should never blame yourself for these scenarios. The bff turned round and continued to watch a video on full volume while I was mid sentence. That same week she told my gf that she thought I was toxic cause I bought her a switch lite for her birthday and she assumed I would use that as a tactic to get things out of her. I opened up to my girlfriend about how she was making me feel and she viewed it as me trying to take her away from her best friend but in truth it was the other way around. My girlfriend blamed me a lot for people being mean towards me, constantly playing devils advocate. (In reference to the previous scenario) maybe you took too long to get to the point (after other scenarios) dont you think you should change so that youre less of a target? (She says this after mentioning the fact she wants to be friends with everyone and im hard to like. its been a week or so since we broke up and she had a sleepover at her bffs house after the day after we broke up while I was left heartbroken at home. I knew I had to break up with her and Im proud of myself, we dated for 3 years and never once did she stand up for me or put me first when it came to her bff. Now please dont read this and think that all scenarios are ok to be someones top priority, its perfectly healthy for your partner to put their friend first sometimes but if theyre putting them first over you every single time and even blaming you for things theyve done and praising them for things youve done then you know its unhealthy. Dont be afraid to lose that person because once you take that step back and realise how they made you feel then maybe youll feel much better too.
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My girlfriend came up to me and said I might be controlling or abusive. At the time I thought it was brave and I heard her out. I felt riddled with guilt and I tried to rack my brain for signs of these controlling actions. I was heartbroken because Id never want to hurt her on purpose but I did start a lot of arguments and I viewed that as me being controlling. I spoke to a group of friends about it and asked them to be brutal, if I was abusive or controlling I needed to know. They were all stunned. After reading through some text arguments they said that I do have some anger issues that I need to work on but it was in fact my girlfriend who was controlling. She picked her best friend over me every time. Which is usually ok but this friend hated me and my gf would blame me for that, asking me to change for that person so she could have us both. She was so happy after our Easter break because we hung out as a big group each day and she felt really happy that she got to experience that but weeks down the line she blamed me for her friends not asking her to hang out because we spent too much time together and hated that Id become her closest friend because she valued having lots of friends over me. Her best friend started making rude comments towards me and even downright lying or simply ignoring me. One example was where me, my girlfriend her bff and their bff were opening up about SA trauma. I said to this bff that it was ok to feel those feelings and you should never blame yourself for these scenarios. The bff turned round and continued to watch a video on full volume while I was mid sentence. That same week she told my gf that she thought I was toxic cause I bought her a switch lite for her birthday and she assumed I would use that as a tactic to get things out of her. I opened up to my girlfriend about how she was making me feel and she viewed it as me trying to take her away from her best friend but in truth it was the other way around. My girlfriend blamed me a lot for people being mean towards me, constantly playing devils advocate. (In reference to the previous scenario) maybe you took too long to get to the point (after other scenarios) dont you think you should change so that youre less of a target? (She says this after mentioning the fact she wants to be friends with everyone and im hard to like. its been a week or so since we broke up and she had a sleepover at her bffs house after the day after we broke up while I was left heartbroken at home. I knew I had to break up with her and Im proud of myself, we dated for 3 years and never once did she stand up for me or put me first when it came to her bff. Now please dont read this and think that all scenarios are ok to be someones top priority, its perfectly healthy for your partner to put their friend first sometimes but if theyre putting them first over you every single time and even blaming you for things theyve done and praising them for things youve done then you know its unhealthy. Dont be afraid to lose that person because once you take that step back and realise how they made you feel then maybe youll feel much better too.
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education
What people don't understand is that this happens so slowly that you don't realize it until you are trapped. Before marriage, hubby would turn everything into a choice between him or my friends, as suddenly he had something he wanted to do with me at the same time as my other plans. Then, once you are married, they slowly separate you from family members, until you don't have anyone to talk to. He made me quit all of my jobs over the years. He threatened to go and tell my employer that I quit, and I was mortified that he would do it. If I didn't quit, then he wouldn't let me sleep. He would wake me up by screaming at me to get him a glass of water if I fell asleep from exhaustion at 10pm. I was working so that we would have health insurance. He would give me permission to work. But once I got the job, he would insist that I quit, or he would make me miserable. I was required to work a full day at the house as well as in the office. If I didn't get all of the housework finished, then I was to stay up until I did. (He did nothing at home) If I didn't stay up, he would wake me up repeatedly. He would also wake me up at 2am with some other demand or he would accuse me of cheating at work. When I was 15 minutes late (as I had filled the car up with gas, he would say he was leaving me due to my cheating. My day was scheduled (by him) every minute, but he said it only takes 15 minutes to cheat, so if I was 15 minutes late (due to traffic, a wreck, filling the car up, buying groceries on the way home, then I must have been cheating. In the end, I was so sleep deprived that I had a wreck, was injured, and finally gave up the job. I've been threatened with divorce and that he would kill me (if I leave him) so many times, that I no longer care if he kills me or divorces me. When I almost left him, family members kept telling me not to. I have no job, and he insists that every bit of money in the bank account is his (even money that I received from an insurance claim and from work that I do from home. It was only after I quit caring if he killed me or not that he has become nicer. I no longer have a bed to sleep in, as he ordered me out of the bedroom a few years ago because I talked. I now sleep in the living room recliner. I can only sleep once he decides to go to bed. He didn't think I would move out of the bedroom, so now he is nicer as I no longer care what happens to me. Without my caring about his threats, he no longer has the same leverage over me. Threaten to kill me? Do it. Threaten to leave me? Do it. I don't care. When I needed to go to the ER last year, he told me to sleep it off. The next day he told me the same thing, even though I could barely breathe. The doctor told me I was close to dying. If it was up to him, I would have died. He made me justify why I wanted to go to the ER, even though I couldn't breathe enough to talk. That is what happens when you are stuck with a controlling partner.
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What people don't understand is that this happens so slowly that you don't realize it until you are trapped. Before marriage, hubby would turn everything into a choice between him or my friends, as suddenly he had something he wanted to do with me at the same time as my other plans. Then, once you are married, they slowly separate you from family members, until you don't have anyone to talk to. He made me quit all of my jobs over the years. He threatened to go and tell my employer that I quit, and I was mortified that he would do it. If I didn't quit, then he wouldn't let me sleep. He would wake me up by screaming at me to get him a glass of water if I fell asleep from exhaustion at 10pm. I was working so that we would have health insurance. He would give me permission to work. But once I got the job, he would insist that I quit, or he would make me miserable. I was required to work a full day at the house as well as in the office. If I didn't get all of the housework finished, then I was to stay up until I did. (He did nothing at home) If I didn't stay up, he would wake me up repeatedly. He would also wake me up at 2am with some other demand or he would accuse me of cheating at work. When I was 15 minutes late (as I had filled the car up with gas, he would say he was leaving me due to my cheating. My day was scheduled (by him) every minute, but he said it only takes 15 minutes to cheat, so if I was 15 minutes late (due to traffic, a wreck, filling the car up, buying groceries on the way home, then I must have been cheating. In the end, I was so sleep deprived that I had a wreck, was injured, and finally gave up the job. I've been threatened with divorce and that he would kill me (if I leave him) so many times, that I no longer care if he kills me or divorces me. When I almost left him, family members kept telling me not to. I have no job, and he insists that every bit of money in the bank account is his (even money that I received from an insurance claim and from work that I do from home. It was only after I quit caring if he killed me or not that he has become nicer. I no longer have a bed to sleep in, as he ordered me out of the bedroom a few years ago because I talked. I now sleep in the living room recliner. I can only sleep once he decides to go to bed. He didn't think I would move out of the bedroom, so now he is nicer as I no longer care what happens to me. Without my caring about his threats, he no longer has the same leverage over me. Threaten to kill me? Do it. Threaten to leave me? Do it. I don't care. When I needed to go to the ER last year, he told me to sleep it off. The next day he told me the same thing, even though I could barely breathe. The doctor told me I was close to dying. If it was up to him, I would have died. He made me justify why I wanted to go to the ER, even though I couldn't breathe enough to talk. That is what happens when you are stuck with a controlling partner.
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AK-PokeStop
Iv been in a relationship for 6 years with my girlfriend. It started slow with her not liking my family to her not liking my friends. In which I ended up stop talking to all of them. Then came the way I was raised and how I viewed things. I ended up having to completely change who I was and how I viewed things to the way she saw things. Then while living together I would have to constantly be on the phone with her when out of work till she was home so she knew I wasn't talking to anyone. Also having to wait in my car till she was home sometimes 2 to 3 hours. When she was home I'd have a routine I would have to do in 3 steps coming 1 way I come home and put clothes away 2 how I walked into bathroom and 3 how I would brush and floss my teeth. All would need to be perfect to her way or I'd get timed for each mess up with my phone. Sometimes being over an hour before I could have my phone. Which was the only thing I had in my own house which I paid half the rent. I was constantly watched every step in our home. Bathroom door never closed ever. I would constantly be insulted and belittled for things she would be upset that I either messed up on or by her not liking how I saw something. My opinion never mattered and if I ever expressed how I feel. I would always get you are being to loud as to shush me and be quiet. I'm not allowed to touch her and she doesn't touch me. There is about a laundry list more of things I could add iv been through for so long. I did it cause I loved her and still do and because I was kinda a bum before meeting her which she did help me at first. But she only got worse in time. Let me know what you think if I was in a controlling relationship or not. Today's my move out and iv tired talking to her before and she has tried saying I never have and doesn't see how she has act and the effect it has had on my mental health. Btw lost about 40 ponds in this relationship over the years cause I was also had to be cooked and handed anything in the house wasn't allowed ever in kitchen or fridge. I have voiced my opinion to her countless time but always fell on deaf ears and like talking to a wall. I think I'm doing the right thing and I know I do need help so I never go back. Thank you for the video it did help alot
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Iv been in a relationship for 6 years with my girlfriend. It started slow with her not liking my family to her not liking my friends. In which I ended up stop talking to all of them. Then came the way I was raised and how I viewed things. I ended up having to completely change who I was and how I viewed things to the way she saw things. Then while living together I would have to constantly be on the phone with her when out of work till she was home so she knew I wasn't talking to anyone. Also having to wait in my car till she was home sometimes 2 to 3 hours. When she was home I'd have a routine I would have to do in 3 steps coming 1 way I come home and put clothes away 2 how I walked into bathroom and 3 how I would brush and floss my teeth. All would need to be perfect to her way or I'd get timed for each mess up with my phone. Sometimes being over an hour before I could have my phone. Which was the only thing I had in my own house which I paid half the rent. I was constantly watched every step in our home. Bathroom door never closed ever. I would constantly be insulted and belittled for things she would be upset that I either messed up on or by her not liking how I saw something. My opinion never mattered and if I ever expressed how I feel. I would always get you are being to loud as to shush me and be quiet. I'm not allowed to touch her and she doesn't touch me. There is about a laundry list more of things I could add iv been through for so long. I did it cause I loved her and still do and because I was kinda a bum before meeting her which she did help me at first. But she only got worse in time. Let me know what you think if I was in a controlling relationship or not. Today's my move out and iv tired talking to her before and she has tried saying I never have and doesn't see how she has act and the effect it has had on my mental health. Btw lost about 40 ponds in this relationship over the years cause I was also had to be cooked and handed anything in the house wasn't allowed ever in kitchen or fridge. I have voiced my opinion to her countless time but always fell on deaf ears and like talking to a wall. I think I'm doing the right thing and I know I do need help so I never go back. Thank you for the video it did help alot
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Johnny
I know I have an intensely strong innate desire to be controlling, manipulative, and dominant in a relationship. Its something Ive felt since I was little and long before I felt insecure about who I am. When asked what my dream pet would be, it was a regular, well-enough-trained dog. That is a classic giveaway when most kids at that age would obviously choose to have full mental reciprocation in any sort of a relationship like a talking elephant for example, where I was totally ok with holding the leash in that relationship so to speak.
Thats not scientific by any means but it is illuminating
I have successfully broken this desire to be controlling/manipulative in my personal friendships because without the muddle of confusing emotions of attraction its very easy to remind myself that they are who they are for their own reasons.
But simultaneously I have entirely and intentionally avoided romantic relationships because I know deep down I will choose to willingly to psychologically hurt the woman I love, and worse, the one that loves me.
I dont know if this is a product of being raised by a fairly narcissistic, somewhat controlling mother and very agreeable father, if Im just not cut out for intimate relationships at all, or if its something else entirely.
These videos are helpful in reminding me why Im a bad fit for someone when they show interest, thus sparing them.
Thanks for these informative videos. They have been great in recognizing where some of these insecurities/desires come from.
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I know I have an intensely strong innate desire to be controlling, manipulative, and dominant in a relationship. Its something Ive felt since I was little and long before I felt insecure about who I am. When asked what my dream pet would be, it was a regular, well-enough-trained dog. That is a classic giveaway when most kids at that age would obviously choose to have full mental reciprocation in any sort of a relationship like a talking elephant for example, where I was totally ok with holding the leash in that relationship so to speak.
Thats not scientific by any means but it is illuminating
I have successfully broken this desire to be controlling/manipulative in my personal friendships because without the muddle of confusing emotions of attraction its very easy to remind myself that they are who they are for their own reasons.
But simultaneously I have entirely and intentionally avoided romantic relationships because I know deep down I will choose to willingly to psychologically hurt the woman I love, and worse, the one that loves me.
I dont know if this is a product of being raised by a fairly narcissistic, somewhat controlling mother and very agreeable father, if Im just not cut out for intimate relationships at all, or if its something else entirely.
These videos are helpful in reminding me why Im a bad fit for someone when they show interest, thus sparing them.
Thanks for these informative videos. They have been great in recognizing where some of these insecurities/desires come from.
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education
My nephew is with a controlling abusive partner. The guy he's with is a total narcissist abuser and he's an excellent manipulator. He wont work. My nephew is the only one who works while his lazy abusive husbands sits around and get high all day playing video games, but he also controls every aspect of my nephews life. My nephew has autism and so does his abusive husband, but the abusive husband is higher functioning and he also has narcissistic personality disorder. Anyway, he KNOWS how to control my nephew, my nephew just don't see just how abusive and manipulative and controlling his husband is. Words can't even begin to describe what a creep this guys is. I hope one day my nephew will wake up and realize how much he is being controlled and used and abused, but sadly because of my nephew being the way he is and his husband being such a narcissistic controlling manipulator he will NEVER see this and be forever with the creep instead of someone who would treat him much better.
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My nephew is with a controlling abusive partner. The guy he's with is a total narcissist abuser and he's an excellent manipulator. He wont work. My nephew is the only one who works while his lazy abusive husbands sits around and get high all day playing video games, but he also controls every aspect of my nephews life. My nephew has autism and so does his abusive husband, but the abusive husband is higher functioning and he also has narcissistic personality disorder. Anyway, he KNOWS how to control my nephew, my nephew just don't see just how abusive and manipulative and controlling his husband is. Words can't even begin to describe what a creep this guys is. I hope one day my nephew will wake up and realize how much he is being controlled and used and abused, but sadly because of my nephew being the way he is and his husband being such a narcissistic controlling manipulator he will NEVER see this and be forever with the creep instead of someone who would treat him much better.
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Saleh
I can't lie and say I don't have this type of girlfriend. because I do and It has been somewhat of a torture and Idk how to solve it, I do love her. I love every bit of her and throughout the 1st 3-4 months our relationship seemed pretty peaceful and healthy. but as time went on I started to notice that she's being pretty controlling and possessive to the point where If I mention anything about Going out with the boys or even Just going out to buy some groceries or any small thing that could result in me not texting her that would turn into a toxic, and big argument and everytime I will be the one. Making it up for her, I don't wanna break up with her tho. She's really a friendly, kind, and overall a very intelligent and charming person, but Idk it's just one of those things where I have no idea what to do, she knows she's being possessive but continues on doing it. If anyone knows any way of solving this I'd be more than thankful to know
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I can't lie and say I don't have this type of girlfriend. because I do and It has been somewhat of a torture and Idk how to solve it, I do love her. I love every bit of her and throughout the 1st 3-4 months our relationship seemed pretty peaceful and healthy. but as time went on I started to notice that she's being pretty controlling and possessive to the point where If I mention anything about Going out with the boys or even Just going out to buy some groceries or any small thing that could result in me not texting her that would turn into a toxic, and big argument and everytime I will be the one. Making it up for her, I don't wanna break up with her tho. She's really a friendly, kind, and overall a very intelligent and charming person, but Idk it's just one of those things where I have no idea what to do, she knows she's being possessive but continues on doing it. If anyone knows any way of solving this I'd be more than thankful to know
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Nia
After watching this, this made me realize I'm being Manipulative in our relationship. He's younger than me and he said he wanted to be under because I'm the older and more responsible. Until one day I don't know what am I doing anymore. I lost path and misguided because I'm the one handling the relationship more I gave him all my trust, love and efforts but he didn't even told me straightforward I was being too much. I hate myself for being so toxic and in the first place of our relationship I told him to open up with me if I'm being too much with my attitude. Now he gave me up even if it hurts me I'm being guilty with myself and I want to apologize with him personally. We're ldr and I never met him in person so I'm taking the responsibility on my birthday to go their place and apologize with my toxicity. Though I still love him, he told me he will still be my friend.
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After watching this, this made me realize I'm being Manipulative in our relationship. He's younger than me and he said he wanted to be under because I'm the older and more responsible. Until one day I don't know what am I doing anymore. I lost path and misguided because I'm the one handling the relationship more I gave him all my trust, love and efforts but he didn't even told me straightforward I was being too much. I hate myself for being so toxic and in the first place of our relationship I told him to open up with me if I'm being too much with my attitude. Now he gave me up even if it hurts me I'm being guilty with myself and I want to apologize with him personally. We're ldr and I never met him in person so I'm taking the responsibility on my birthday to go their place and apologize with my toxicity. Though I still love him, he told me he will still be my friend.
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Star
Im not sure if its me or my partner but I just finally expressed my feelings to him that I fear him and he said what I said is mean.
But its honestly the reality. I feel like Im walking on eggshells around him most of the time.
Due to our religion and culture, people are used to the girl not getting in a contributed environment where itll be females and males together at the same place for example when it comes to education or work.
But nowadays things changed, every where its contributed by both males and females but it seems like I somehow makes him uncomfortable as I ask for his permission to take a co-ed course. And if I didnt ask and he knew its co-ed then problems would happen.
I wonder if this is controlling and I believe it is but I have no words that I can say
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Im not sure if its me or my partner but I just finally expressed my feelings to him that I fear him and he said what I said is mean.
But its honestly the reality. I feel like Im walking on eggshells around him most of the time.
Due to our religion and culture, people are used to the girl not getting in a contributed environment where itll be females and males together at the same place for example when it comes to education or work.
But nowadays things changed, every where its contributed by both males and females but it seems like I somehow makes him uncomfortable as I ask for his permission to take a co-ed course. And if I didnt ask and he knew its co-ed then problems would happen.
I wonder if this is controlling and I believe it is but I have no words that I can say
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kissedbyfire
I was dating and went on my 2nd date with this guy and noticed little things like these and was like. yeah, this is not gonna work out. I grew up in a house with a manipulative and controlling dad. I was no stranger to these signs bc I grew up watching how my dad treated my mom. I don't get along with my dad, but I should be thanking him because without him, I'd be vulnerable and wouldn't have seen these early signs. It made me strong and know who I am. I'd never stay with anyone who talks down or treats me as less than even in small and subtle ways. I learned to rely on myself, and I know who I am. It only took less than 14 hours for me to leave him. Funny enough, he'd tell me how narcissistic I was with red flags when we spent time together because I'd stand up for myself.
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I was dating and went on my 2nd date with this guy and noticed little things like these and was like. yeah, this is not gonna work out. I grew up in a house with a manipulative and controlling dad. I was no stranger to these signs bc I grew up watching how my dad treated my mom. I don't get along with my dad, but I should be thanking him because without him, I'd be vulnerable and wouldn't have seen these early signs. It made me strong and know who I am. I'd never stay with anyone who talks down or treats me as less than even in small and subtle ways. I learned to rely on myself, and I know who I am. It only took less than 14 hours for me to leave him. Funny enough, he'd tell me how narcissistic I was with red flags when we spent time together because I'd stand up for myself.
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fan
I am financially independent and my boyfriend is upset and angry that I booked a nice flat with my own money and finds all sorts of reasons to blame me for my decisions (we don't actually live together either and I never spend his money. Also, I wanted the option to attend a better-ranked school, but he was angry that I didn't choose a school closer to where he works. He kept saying that he wanted to do whatever he could to make me happy, but in reality, it seemed like he was constantly doubting my decisions and would even make digs at my achievements, making me uncomfortable and not wanting to share anything with him. I'm guessing that he doesn't use severe controlling lovers tendencies. Is this controlling?
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I am financially independent and my boyfriend is upset and angry that I booked a nice flat with my own money and finds all sorts of reasons to blame me for my decisions (we don't actually live together either and I never spend his money. Also, I wanted the option to attend a better-ranked school, but he was angry that I didn't choose a school closer to where he works. He kept saying that he wanted to do whatever he could to make me happy, but in reality, it seemed like he was constantly doubting my decisions and would even make digs at my achievements, making me uncomfortable and not wanting to share anything with him. I'm guessing that he doesn't use severe controlling lovers tendencies. Is this controlling?
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oscar
Im actually the controlling one. I'm having a big issue with her male co worker. We are in a long distance relationship, so knoewing the she is spending 8 hours a day 5 days a week with another man kills me slowly. Everyday they eat lunch together, they go out for drinks on Thursdays, and sometimes they get together on weekends with a group of co workers. I also know they have group text where they talk on the weekends and they chat once in a while on IG. To me this doesn't feel right that my girl is giving another man this much attention.
I love her so much, so it makes me sick to know she is forming a real strong bod with another man.
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Im actually the controlling one. I'm having a big issue with her male co worker. We are in a long distance relationship, so knoewing the she is spending 8 hours a day 5 days a week with another man kills me slowly. Everyday they eat lunch together, they go out for drinks on Thursdays, and sometimes they get together on weekends with a group of co workers. I also know they have group text where they talk on the weekends and they chat once in a while on IG. To me this doesn't feel right that my girl is giving another man this much attention.
I love her so much, so it makes me sick to know she is forming a real strong bod with another man.
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Lama
I noticed many of these signs in a (online)friends relationship. he is very kind and funny but also sensitive, so whenever I spend time with other friends he asks if I met them before or after him. if after I should just stay and play with him cuz he is closer to me(he said even if he is with his friends I can just call him and he will come immediately and play with me). Honestly I tried doing this for several times and he never rejected. Sometimes he leaves them and ask me to play. thats why I feel guilty. I feel like he is doing too much for me while Im not but at the same time when I think its not really something I have to do.
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I noticed many of these signs in a (online)friends relationship. he is very kind and funny but also sensitive, so whenever I spend time with other friends he asks if I met them before or after him. if after I should just stay and play with him cuz he is closer to me(he said even if he is with his friends I can just call him and he will come immediately and play with me). Honestly I tried doing this for several times and he never rejected. Sometimes he leaves them and ask me to play. thats why I feel guilty. I feel like he is doing too much for me while Im not but at the same time when I think its not really something I have to do.
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BunnyGirlRinASMR
can i be honest? ive been controlled my whole life. what if i want my partner to control me? what does that make me? if i want them to control what a wear or what i do, if i just want them to control everything i do? or if i want to be used? maybe that sounds wrong but i do seek comfort in it. i cant show off my body, because i end up taking it too far, and it feels like its all im good for, i dont feel like a person i feel like an object. what does that make me? ive tried researching and i get no answers i dont know whats wrong with me and i feel so alone
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can i be honest? ive been controlled my whole life. what if i want my partner to control me? what does that make me? if i want them to control what a wear or what i do, if i just want them to control everything i do? or if i want to be used? maybe that sounds wrong but i do seek comfort in it. i cant show off my body, because i end up taking it too far, and it feels like its all im good for, i dont feel like a person i feel like an object. what does that make me? ive tried researching and i get no answers i dont know whats wrong with me and i feel so alone
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Sejla
until today, where a friend of mine just pointed out the fact that I am controlling, I never thought I was. I thought I was being reasonable and because I cared for my partner I was telling him what to do. procrastination is something that I found bothers me a lot but I also forget that he is an adult who makes his own decisions. I am displaying all the controlling behaviour and I want to stop. I feel like a piece of shit for treating him this way. he deserves to be with a better person than I am. I need help!
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until today, where a friend of mine just pointed out the fact that I am controlling, I never thought I was. I thought I was being reasonable and because I cared for my partner I was telling him what to do. procrastination is something that I found bothers me a lot but I also forget that he is an adult who makes his own decisions. I am displaying all the controlling behaviour and I want to stop. I feel like a piece of shit for treating him this way. he deserves to be with a better person than I am. I need help!
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LeHaFu
I just realized I am very abusive and controlling. Thanks for this video, I've never wanted to control my partner but my fears of abandoned and being cheated off was so strong. Also my ethical believes are so strong that I didn't want to date someone who believes and acts differently. But my partner is different and believe different. What is wrong to me is not wrong to him, so what can I do, I have to accept him and his believes. Now I know is my problem and not his and I will do better.
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I just realized I am very abusive and controlling. Thanks for this video, I've never wanted to control my partner but my fears of abandoned and being cheated off was so strong. Also my ethical believes are so strong that I didn't want to date someone who believes and acts differently. But my partner is different and believe different. What is wrong to me is not wrong to him, so what can I do, I have to accept him and his believes. Now I know is my problem and not his and I will do better.
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Abi
He tells me what to wear he says I cant post on social media at all, he gets violent if I dont do what he says, I have to be intimate any time he wants and even if I say no he doesnt listen, he cries when I try to break up with him or hes yelling at me and I get upset, he tells me I cant go out, I cant have any male friends or do anything. I usually do attract controlling partners but he is one of the worse controllers I ever was with. I love him but he makes me sick.
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He tells me what to wear he says I cant post on social media at all, he gets violent if I dont do what he says, I have to be intimate any time he wants and even if I say no he doesnt listen, he cries when I try to break up with him or hes yelling at me and I get upset, he tells me I cant go out, I cant have any male friends or do anything. I usually do attract controlling partners but he is one of the worse controllers I ever was with. I love him but he makes me sick.
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Otaku
I know I'm late to the game but I told my fiance that I was coloring I shower him the picture and was just enjoying myself his replay to it wasn't oh that's cute or anything like that it was what are you 6. and that honestly bothered me alot because it made me feel like what I wad doing was wrong even thought I worked hard on it. It just came out of no where if I'm having a good day and I call my fiance all happy and if they're having a bad day so am I. is it me.
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I know I'm late to the game but I told my fiance that I was coloring I shower him the picture and was just enjoying myself his replay to it wasn't oh that's cute or anything like that it was what are you 6. and that honestly bothered me alot because it made me feel like what I wad doing was wrong even thought I worked hard on it. It just came out of no where if I'm having a good day and I call my fiance all happy and if they're having a bad day so am I. is it me.
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Kallie
I am deal with a definitely controlling person not to direct anything bad or gossipy. but I can't take it anymore! He literally said my disease is NO EXCUSE and doesn't mean anything just for slight unorganized items from time to time and I am in so much pain they never check on me threatens to throw my weed away thinks he has a right to do whatever.
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I am deal with a definitely controlling person not to direct anything bad or gossipy. but I can't take it anymore! He literally said my disease is NO EXCUSE and doesn't mean anything just for slight unorganized items from time to time and I am in so much pain they never check on me threatens to throw my weed away thinks he has a right to do whatever.
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Linda
Ok so I have a question so Im in a relationship and my bf told me I cant have ANY CONTACT with my exs wich Im friends with most of them and that if I do we were done is this a form of being controlling? now keep in mind my exs have partners except maybe 1 or 2 but they dont cross the line and know Im with someone.
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Ok so I have a question so Im in a relationship and my bf told me I cant have ANY CONTACT with my exs wich Im friends with most of them and that if I do we were done is this a form of being controlling? now keep in mind my exs have partners except maybe 1 or 2 but they dont cross the line and know Im with someone.
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Edigs
Just realised. my ex can tick all of these boxes. Despite the messed up stuff she did, I forgot about it, when she love bombed me. But each time for a very short period. And she only told me how much she loved me when I was away, but very rarely showed any love when I was with her.
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Just realised. my ex can tick all of these boxes. Despite the messed up stuff she did, I forgot about it, when she love bombed me. But each time for a very short period. And she only told me how much she loved me when I was away, but very rarely showed any love when I was with her.
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Aditya
I really really really wanted to see this and now I realise I am being controlling without knowing. Thank you for making this video and pointing out the obvious that I couldn't notice otherwise. I will 120% make sure to break the controlling patterns and be a better boyfriend
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I really really really wanted to see this and now I realise I am being controlling without knowing. Thank you for making this video and pointing out the obvious that I couldn't notice otherwise. I will 120% make sure to break the controlling patterns and be a better boyfriend
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Tiffany
I'm so grateful I was able to see this video. It clearly shows what kind of relationship I was in recently, and I can finally breathe for once and know that I've made the right decision not to be with someone like that anymore. I love these videos.
they help so much
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I'm so grateful I was able to see this video. It clearly shows what kind of relationship I was in recently, and I can finally breathe for once and know that I've made the right decision not to be with someone like that anymore. I love these videos.
they help so much
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Antraaw
Seriously my partner try to isolate me saying he's so insecure of me talking to anyone Bec of his past realationship and sometimes when I get pissed off of his overdoing he emotionally manuplate me to harm himself or try to charm me with whatever he knows might work
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Seriously my partner try to isolate me saying he's so insecure of me talking to anyone Bec of his past realationship and sometimes when I get pissed off of his overdoing he emotionally manuplate me to harm himself or try to charm me with whatever he knows might work
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Slashbash
The signs describe my friend's husband. I tried to warn her before their marriage and she agreed with every word I said; didn't even attempt to defend him. A month later, they're engaged. I'm guessing that was on of the phases.
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The signs describe my friend's husband. I tried to warn her before their marriage and she agreed with every word I said; didn't even attempt to defend him. A month later, they're engaged. I'm guessing that was on of the phases.
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MissFrancineTV
I learned Im like this but dont make comments about his appearance. Im in a marriage where he makes all the decisions for me with or without my knowledge even goes against what I disagree with.
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I learned Im like this but dont make comments about his appearance. Im in a marriage where he makes all the decisions for me with or without my knowledge even goes against what I disagree with.
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