10 Signs Someones Always Playing the Victim
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Patricia
I won't lie, this was actually difficult to hear. I'm pretty independent, so I'm not one to ask for much, but I would say that a person needs to be emotionally bullet proof to deal with me these days. I feel that I require a lot of emotional attention, which can appear toxic in a lot of situations/relationships although I never have ill intentions. I honestly can't help it a lot of the time, and this may have lots to do with my longing of genuine, strong, and consistent emotional support. In fact, mental health and emotional stability was never taken seriously in my childhood home. Overall though, I'm glad I realized that I'm stunting my own growth in a lot of ways; the first step is always being honest with oneself and realizing! I'm working to understand how this could've developed and how to reverse it, and I hope anyone else having this same realization is working to improve their overall stability. I've been making progress, and I'm optimistic about where this internal work will take me!
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I won't lie, this was actually difficult to hear. I'm pretty independent, so I'm not one to ask for much, but I would say that a person needs to be emotionally bullet proof to deal with me these days. I feel that I require a lot of emotional attention, which can appear toxic in a lot of situations/relationships although I never have ill intentions. I honestly can't help it a lot of the time, and this may have lots to do with my longing of genuine, strong, and consistent emotional support. In fact, mental health and emotional stability was never taken seriously in my childhood home. Overall though, I'm glad I realized that I'm stunting my own growth in a lot of ways; the first step is always being honest with oneself and realizing! I'm working to understand how this could've developed and how to reverse it, and I hope anyone else having this same realization is working to improve their overall stability. I've been making progress, and I'm optimistic about where this internal work will take me!
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whynotfrancis
clicked on this thinking of my friend, and it fits her perfectly. she always has to have someone to emotionally attach to like a leech and suck all the support she can out of them until they cant take it anymore and become distant. right now, shes doing it to me. and its so much worse because whenever i try to express that i cant deal with it, she just apologizes over and over again and talks about how terrible of a person she is, then does nothing to change it. i dont want to abandon her because she doesnt have many real friends AT ALL and i know it would destroy her, but idk what to do when ive communicated my boundaries time after time and she keeps trying to talk to me five times a day. any time im going through something it turns into me comforting HER. ive been really brutally honest with her recently, in part because im autistic and i cant keep up this mask anymore. i feel like an awful person for it but i dont know what else to do. also shes in love with me so thats fun
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clicked on this thinking of my friend, and it fits her perfectly. she always has to have someone to emotionally attach to like a leech and suck all the support she can out of them until they cant take it anymore and become distant. right now, shes doing it to me. and its so much worse because whenever i try to express that i cant deal with it, she just apologizes over and over again and talks about how terrible of a person she is, then does nothing to change it. i dont want to abandon her because she doesnt have many real friends AT ALL and i know it would destroy her, but idk what to do when ive communicated my boundaries time after time and she keeps trying to talk to me five times a day. any time im going through something it turns into me comforting HER. ive been really brutally honest with her recently, in part because im autistic and i cant keep up this mask anymore. i feel like an awful person for it but i dont know what else to do. also shes in love with me so thats fun
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Annweta
I know someone who is exactly like this. Initially I thought that maybe she is suffering from whats going on in her life. But one day I realised, that yes she has suffered but now she needs genuine help from definitely some expert. While trying to make her understand about something, the way she responded was all about how I was judging or making a fuss or appearing aggressive. For a moment I stopped and read my conversations again. I was not at all aggressive but what I saw was the whole conversation, if seen through a third erson view may portray me as abad person who did something bad to her. I stopped immediately. Gave her some time, and later mentioned to her in a genuine way to contact someone. But she cant because she believes she will be judged by her family and her family will be criticised in public. Mental health is so important but still many a people think of it as a stigma. I just pray she gets better soon or else it may affect her relations in future.
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I know someone who is exactly like this. Initially I thought that maybe she is suffering from whats going on in her life. But one day I realised, that yes she has suffered but now she needs genuine help from definitely some expert. While trying to make her understand about something, the way she responded was all about how I was judging or making a fuss or appearing aggressive. For a moment I stopped and read my conversations again. I was not at all aggressive but what I saw was the whole conversation, if seen through a third erson view may portray me as abad person who did something bad to her. I stopped immediately. Gave her some time, and later mentioned to her in a genuine way to contact someone. But she cant because she believes she will be judged by her family and her family will be criticised in public. Mental health is so important but still many a people think of it as a stigma. I just pray she gets better soon or else it may affect her relations in future.
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Melly241000
I have a friend that pretty much is all of this the only thing is he doesn't blame me me for his problems and he doesn't it attract drama But he has lashed out at me because of his problems. And if I even suggest anything like going to a doctor or getting help he lashed out pretty much everything on this video. He has done and I don't even know anymore how to help him no matter how encouraging I try to be your advice. I try to give or anything it never is good enough. He either comes up he always comes up with excuses on why he can't do things He refuses to see the good in anything with his life and what he does have. I admit his situation is not the greatest But He still has so many things to be grateful for but he refuses to be. I just don't know what to do anymore I do care about him. I want him happy but i'm pretty much out of ways to help it is very draining
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I have a friend that pretty much is all of this the only thing is he doesn't blame me me for his problems and he doesn't it attract drama But he has lashed out at me because of his problems. And if I even suggest anything like going to a doctor or getting help he lashed out pretty much everything on this video. He has done and I don't even know anymore how to help him no matter how encouraging I try to be your advice. I try to give or anything it never is good enough. He either comes up he always comes up with excuses on why he can't do things He refuses to see the good in anything with his life and what he does have. I admit his situation is not the greatest But He still has so many things to be grateful for but he refuses to be. I just don't know what to do anymore I do care about him. I want him happy but i'm pretty much out of ways to help it is very draining
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Kieras
I used to be friends with someone who used to play the victim. Its part of the reason why Im not friends with her anymore. Her sister used to live abroad and then moved home after a few years. We were in our last year of high school when she moved back. She has 2 kids and at the time they were too young to be left alone so they were left with the ex friend and sisters parent while the sister and her husband were at work. The ex friend was convinced that her sister was leaving the kids specifically with her and the kids were the reason why she was doing so badly at school. Even if neither of her parents were at home, her brother (who did shift work) was almost always around when the kids were over. Occasionally she would try to blame her teachers too. I was in a couple of the same classes as her and believe me, the teachers werent the problem
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I used to be friends with someone who used to play the victim. Its part of the reason why Im not friends with her anymore. Her sister used to live abroad and then moved home after a few years. We were in our last year of high school when she moved back. She has 2 kids and at the time they were too young to be left alone so they were left with the ex friend and sisters parent while the sister and her husband were at work. The ex friend was convinced that her sister was leaving the kids specifically with her and the kids were the reason why she was doing so badly at school. Even if neither of her parents were at home, her brother (who did shift work) was almost always around when the kids were over. Occasionally she would try to blame her teachers too. I was in a couple of the same classes as her and believe me, the teachers werent the problem
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beomgyu
My so called best friend let's call her B once talked bad behind my back by saying let's say my name is A and my other friends name is C. So B said C is a better option than A and I would rather be her friend and I was broken at that time cuz she was my best friend. C is also really nice and a total sweetheart towards everyone. C and B had a falling out and just cut each other off. Now that I'm friends with both C and B, B keeps playing victim by sending me stuff like If they care about you they won't stay in contact with the people who hurt u and is always like it's ok go be happy while playing victim while in reality I give them both equal attention and C never complains and B targets ME only while litreally three of my other friends AND her sister are in contact with C. B has talked bad about me multiple times. What should I do y'all
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My so called best friend let's call her B once talked bad behind my back by saying let's say my name is A and my other friends name is C. So B said C is a better option than A and I would rather be her friend and I was broken at that time cuz she was my best friend. C is also really nice and a total sweetheart towards everyone. C and B had a falling out and just cut each other off. Now that I'm friends with both C and B, B keeps playing victim by sending me stuff like If they care about you they won't stay in contact with the people who hurt u and is always like it's ok go be happy while playing victim while in reality I give them both equal attention and C never complains and B targets ME only while litreally three of my other friends AND her sister are in contact with C. B has talked bad about me multiple times. What should I do y'all
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Phystruction
I can see myself in every single trait shared in this video, and I've been aware of it for some time now, the only exception is that I mainly blame myself extremely harshly about my shortcomings, not other people around me. I'm amazed how much it takes to learn to take true responsibility for my actions and for my life, I've realized that the victim mentality have been like in every corner of my perception for years, and It takes alot of time and effort to change those toxic habits of learned helplessness that I've been dealing with. I mostly sorry for all people in my vicinity who has been negatively affected by my negative behaviour: /
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I can see myself in every single trait shared in this video, and I've been aware of it for some time now, the only exception is that I mainly blame myself extremely harshly about my shortcomings, not other people around me. I'm amazed how much it takes to learn to take true responsibility for my actions and for my life, I've realized that the victim mentality have been like in every corner of my perception for years, and It takes alot of time and effort to change those toxic habits of learned helplessness that I've been dealing with. I mostly sorry for all people in my vicinity who has been negatively affected by my negative behaviour: /
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Themeepsarecoming
Ik I have a lot of trouble with letting go of the past. I was once very needy and depended too much on a person I held close, and even if they did take advantage of me, Ill have to say some of it was my fault. I didnt communicate properly and I was acting dependent on their word. Now that I know how to regulate my emotions a bit better, it helped me realize I cant always rely on others, but it is ok to ask for help as long as I make it clear, allow them to help, and do the same thing for them in return.
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Ik I have a lot of trouble with letting go of the past. I was once very needy and depended too much on a person I held close, and even if they did take advantage of me, Ill have to say some of it was my fault. I didnt communicate properly and I was acting dependent on their word. Now that I know how to regulate my emotions a bit better, it helped me realize I cant always rely on others, but it is ok to ask for help as long as I make it clear, allow them to help, and do the same thing for them in return.
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Sakura
Sometimes I recognize some of the traits, but I've learnd to cope with them. Our family had suffered from a disgusting tyrant for decades, who was always the victim. When someone broke accidentally a cheap tool it was a drama for years on end, but when he himself caused a car accident after consuming masses of alcohol, he was the victim of the unforgiving authorities. Might he burn in hell forever! Victim-playing comes often along with a narcissistic character deformtion
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Sometimes I recognize some of the traits, but I've learnd to cope with them. Our family had suffered from a disgusting tyrant for decades, who was always the victim. When someone broke accidentally a cheap tool it was a drama for years on end, but when he himself caused a car accident after consuming masses of alcohol, he was the victim of the unforgiving authorities. Might he burn in hell forever! Victim-playing comes often along with a narcissistic character deformtion
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Drew
The hallmark I have learned to look for is when conversations always seem to revolve around the same problem over and over again and never result in any insight or solution or plan, especially if there are obvious solutions being dismissed. At that point its just someone manipulating the room for attention and sympathy. They dont want the problem solved because that would end the supply of this type of attention and may upset their learned identity.
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The hallmark I have learned to look for is when conversations always seem to revolve around the same problem over and over again and never result in any insight or solution or plan, especially if there are obvious solutions being dismissed. At that point its just someone manipulating the room for attention and sympathy. They dont want the problem solved because that would end the supply of this type of attention and may upset their learned identity.
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Stewie
My 71 year-old sister has been playing victim her whole adult life. Her husband found a way out and left her. Now she is playing victim/manipulator to get money from me. I gave her a loan of several hundred dollars but she is angry at me because I want her to pay it back. She has a chronic history of bankruptcies and stooped low enough to steal money from her own brother. She has been on SSI for decades defrauding the government as well.
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My 71 year-old sister has been playing victim her whole adult life. Her husband found a way out and left her. Now she is playing victim/manipulator to get money from me. I gave her a loan of several hundred dollars but she is angry at me because I want her to pay it back. She has a chronic history of bankruptcies and stooped low enough to steal money from her own brother. She has been on SSI for decades defrauding the government as well.
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Tania
I was very much guilty of this when I was younger. I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I did every single one of these things! No wonder my anxiety always hung around! I was convinced that it was always x and y's fault (it wasn't) and I thought I was much too helpless to do anything. It's so unfortunate we get caught in self pity. I actually found this video empowering because you don't always have to play this role. There is a choice
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I was very much guilty of this when I was younger. I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I did every single one of these things! No wonder my anxiety always hung around! I was convinced that it was always x and y's fault (it wasn't) and I thought I was much too helpless to do anything. It's so unfortunate we get caught in self pity. I actually found this video empowering because you don't always have to play this role. There is a choice
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Ichi
How can you help someone with this mindset? I hate feeling like a toxic victim, I don't know why it's hard to pull out of this mindset. I want to change and be better, but I always feel like something holds me back. It really sucks when there are people in my life I want to actually work with and make happy. I hate feeling like I'm a toxic sludge. I want to know how i can work on taking accountability and not being dramatic
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How can you help someone with this mindset? I hate feeling like a toxic victim, I don't know why it's hard to pull out of this mindset. I want to change and be better, but I always feel like something holds me back. It really sucks when there are people in my life I want to actually work with and make happy. I hate feeling like I'm a toxic sludge. I want to know how i can work on taking accountability and not being dramatic
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Sky
A friend of mine really likes to do this. I've known them for a long time, and they're a good person in some respects, but they constantly cause drama and then won't take any responsibility for it. Everybody else is always out to gang up on poor little them and they love to exaggerate normal disagreements into abuse just because others didn't want to go along with everything they personally wanted. It's exhausting.
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A friend of mine really likes to do this. I've known them for a long time, and they're a good person in some respects, but they constantly cause drama and then won't take any responsibility for it. Everybody else is always out to gang up on poor little them and they love to exaggerate normal disagreements into abuse just because others didn't want to go along with everything they personally wanted. It's exhausting.
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AuBurney
I've been accused of playing victim because of my sensory sensitivities making it difficult to leave the house without being torture by everyday noises, textures, lights, smells. It's not an excuse or a victim mentality. These are real things that are painful! Still, I end up questioning if I am having victim mentality or if I am actually in pain. I really do need a therapist.
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I've been accused of playing victim because of my sensory sensitivities making it difficult to leave the house without being torture by everyday noises, textures, lights, smells. It's not an excuse or a victim mentality. These are real things that are painful! Still, I end up questioning if I am having victim mentality or if I am actually in pain. I really do need a therapist.
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GreysonPlayz
I have played the victim before and ik its not something to keep doing. My dad passed away last year and I still hold on to that traumatic event. I also had a bad argument with a friend a few mins ago after a joke that I made that wasnt thrown at anyone, and he jus goes off on me and brings his family in the convo. idk if hes victimizing himself but Im pretty sure he is
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I have played the victim before and ik its not something to keep doing. My dad passed away last year and I still hold on to that traumatic event. I also had a bad argument with a friend a few mins ago after a joke that I made that wasnt thrown at anyone, and he jus goes off on me and brings his family in the convo. idk if hes victimizing himself but Im pretty sure he is
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Amy
My friend always plays the victim and is really insecure but somehow also has this weird idea that they're better than everyone else which is why everyone is out to get them. but if I say anything about it then they'll turn it around on me and create a whole sob story about how their life sucks and no one understands and how I'm just like everyone else. are they a narcissist?
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My friend always plays the victim and is really insecure but somehow also has this weird idea that they're better than everyone else which is why everyone is out to get them. but if I say anything about it then they'll turn it around on me and create a whole sob story about how their life sucks and no one understands and how I'm just like everyone else. are they a narcissist?
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Cayne
If you have to ASK yourself if you have a victim complex, you are already doing something wrong.
NOT EVERYONES HARDSHIPS ARE EQUAL AND VALID.
SOME HARDSHIPS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE DIFFICULT THAN OTHERS.
So many of you commented on this video yet you have a complete victim mentality on twitter and TikTok and dont even realize.
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If you have to ASK yourself if you have a victim complex, you are already doing something wrong.
NOT EVERYONES HARDSHIPS ARE EQUAL AND VALID.
SOME HARDSHIPS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE DIFFICULT THAN OTHERS.
So many of you commented on this video yet you have a complete victim mentality on twitter and TikTok and dont even realize.
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Paul
I watched this video to test again if that friend manipulated me, he said multiple times that i play the victim and this video shows he tried to make me believe this only why i got angry when he used videogames interactions to make me tilt, connecting them with social things like the appreance of me with the friends i was with him
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I watched this video to test again if that friend manipulated me, he said multiple times that i play the victim and this video shows he tried to make me believe this only why i got angry when he used videogames interactions to make me tilt, connecting them with social things like the appreance of me with the friends i was with him
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Harrison
Grudges and resentment, blaming everyone but themselves, always in drama, defensive and passive aggressive, unable to take criticism or feedback, never apologize or take accountability
These are the 6 hallmark for me. Being in a relationship with someone like this will leave you with psychological damage
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Grudges and resentment, blaming everyone but themselves, always in drama, defensive and passive aggressive, unable to take criticism or feedback, never apologize or take accountability
These are the 6 hallmark for me. Being in a relationship with someone like this will leave you with psychological damage
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Dani
My ex did this. He would give up after one setback, and I tried so hard to support him, and help him, while I was dealing with a lot too. I felt bad for being so disconnected and not caring anymore, but it's because he wouldnt help himself or take any help i offered.
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My ex did this. He would give up after one setback, and I tried so hard to support him, and help him, while I was dealing with a lot too. I felt bad for being so disconnected and not caring anymore, but it's because he wouldnt help himself or take any help i offered.
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v1de0
For anyone who doesn't have six minutes to spare, let me sum up the video:
Have you or anyone you know ever felt or expressed a negative emotion, regardless of duration, scope, or context? Congratulations, you/they were playing the victim
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For anyone who doesn't have six minutes to spare, let me sum up the video:
Have you or anyone you know ever felt or expressed a negative emotion, regardless of duration, scope, or context? Congratulations, you/they were playing the victim
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Jamie
My mum always told me I was playing the victim card, I never knew what she was talking about. I now know that was not the one playing the victim card, she was, and she was projecting it onto me. This video made me realise this, so thanks!
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My mum always told me I was playing the victim card, I never knew what she was talking about. I now know that was not the one playing the victim card, she was, and she was projecting it onto me. This video made me realise this, so thanks!
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education
It seems like an actual victim can play an incident as a weapon, you can't criticize because theyre an actual victim. Like you can use the incident as something to get what you want instead of trying to improve the situation.
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It seems like an actual victim can play an incident as a weapon, you can't criticize because theyre an actual victim. Like you can use the incident as something to get what you want instead of trying to improve the situation.
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Boop
A lot of this can be solved on your part by simply not trying to solve other peoples problems. Someone can play the victim but you dont have to play the same game, and they also might not even realize thats what theyre doing.
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A lot of this can be solved on your part by simply not trying to solve other peoples problems. Someone can play the victim but you dont have to play the same game, and they also might not even realize thats what theyre doing.
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