Signs You're Not Meant To Be In A Relationship
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Date: 2024-06-22
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Comments and reviews: 20
RetroManiac64
For me, I'd say that I'm not ready for a relationship, but I still really want one, and my biggest reason for wanting one is because I deeply want to feel loved and cared for by someone other than family. I have a great relationship with my mother and love her a lot, and I know she loves me, however, I've gotten to the point where her love just isn't enough anymore, I need someone my own age who I love and care for to do the same for me now, and she understands this too. Another major reason is because of the huge lack of people in my life.
To get slightly more personal, the amount of people in my life is extremely low. I'm an only child, none of my grandparents are alive, and while I have some aunts, uncles and cousins, none of them are blood-related, and I don't really have a relationship with them at all and rarely see them. While my father is alive, our relationship is a little strained and I rarely see him either, and I also have no friends. So basically, the only person I have in my life is my mother, and again, while I love her, I just need more. I have a void in my life that, I feel, DESPARATELY needs to be filled.
I always hear that getting into a relationship simply to fill in a void is generally a bad idea, but for me, because of how my life is, I just can't see it as a bad thing. After all, I hear constantly that humans are social creatures, and of course, most of us have a biological drive to find a mate. So I'm sorry, I just can't see filling in a void as a bad thing in my case. Plus, it's not wrong to want to be loved and have a fulfilling relationship, so my want and even need for one, I feel is completely justified. Now some might say that I should focus on making friends first, and I can understand that too. But to me, I view a partner as not only a romantic interest, but as your best friend, so in my mind, focusing on a partner is also focusing on friends to a degree. Now, of course having friends would be nice too, but even just having one person in my life (either a romantic partner or great friend, but preferably the former) would help me a ton. Of course, I can't know for sure until I have one, but that's how I feel currently.
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For me, I'd say that I'm not ready for a relationship, but I still really want one, and my biggest reason for wanting one is because I deeply want to feel loved and cared for by someone other than family. I have a great relationship with my mother and love her a lot, and I know she loves me, however, I've gotten to the point where her love just isn't enough anymore, I need someone my own age who I love and care for to do the same for me now, and she understands this too. Another major reason is because of the huge lack of people in my life.
To get slightly more personal, the amount of people in my life is extremely low. I'm an only child, none of my grandparents are alive, and while I have some aunts, uncles and cousins, none of them are blood-related, and I don't really have a relationship with them at all and rarely see them. While my father is alive, our relationship is a little strained and I rarely see him either, and I also have no friends. So basically, the only person I have in my life is my mother, and again, while I love her, I just need more. I have a void in my life that, I feel, DESPARATELY needs to be filled.
I always hear that getting into a relationship simply to fill in a void is generally a bad idea, but for me, because of how my life is, I just can't see it as a bad thing. After all, I hear constantly that humans are social creatures, and of course, most of us have a biological drive to find a mate. So I'm sorry, I just can't see filling in a void as a bad thing in my case. Plus, it's not wrong to want to be loved and have a fulfilling relationship, so my want and even need for one, I feel is completely justified. Now some might say that I should focus on making friends first, and I can understand that too. But to me, I view a partner as not only a romantic interest, but as your best friend, so in my mind, focusing on a partner is also focusing on friends to a degree. Now, of course having friends would be nice too, but even just having one person in my life (either a romantic partner or great friend, but preferably the former) would help me a ton. Of course, I can't know for sure until I have one, but that's how I feel currently.
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psych2go
I have a friend I’ve known for over 5 years. Ive had feelings for her that entire time. She never felt the same way, however. For the longest time, it was very difficult for me to come to terms with that. Hell, it still is. But one thing that helps, is that I know our relationship as very close friends, would absolutely be ruined if we were to take it further.
I love her dearly. She means so much to me. And because of that, and pretty much every reason listed here, going into a relationship with her would be a terrible idea.
The heart wants what the heart wants, still. But that’s going away more and more as I come to terms with this reality.
There’s so much more to life than being with someone. We are our own people. We are infinitely complex creatures, to the point of sometimes even being hypocritical in nature. We are not defined by one thing, person, or event. And when we choose to be that way, it stifles our growth in all aspects. It makes us into a fraction of ourselves. And no one person can make us any more whole than how we choose to be, consciously or unconsciously.
No one is going to complete you. No one is going to save you. A relationship just complicates things. And yes, there are so many beautiful things on the other side of all that complicated stuff, but unless you have someone with whom you can navigate that with, you’re never going to get there. And both of you are just going to become super messed up because of it all.
Take time. Find yourself. And once you do, strive to become the greatest version of yourself. It doesn’t have to be all at once. Just a little bit every day. The only too little is nothing at all.
Everything else will fall into place after that.
I promise.
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I have a friend I’ve known for over 5 years. Ive had feelings for her that entire time. She never felt the same way, however. For the longest time, it was very difficult for me to come to terms with that. Hell, it still is. But one thing that helps, is that I know our relationship as very close friends, would absolutely be ruined if we were to take it further.
I love her dearly. She means so much to me. And because of that, and pretty much every reason listed here, going into a relationship with her would be a terrible idea.
The heart wants what the heart wants, still. But that’s going away more and more as I come to terms with this reality.
There’s so much more to life than being with someone. We are our own people. We are infinitely complex creatures, to the point of sometimes even being hypocritical in nature. We are not defined by one thing, person, or event. And when we choose to be that way, it stifles our growth in all aspects. It makes us into a fraction of ourselves. And no one person can make us any more whole than how we choose to be, consciously or unconsciously.
No one is going to complete you. No one is going to save you. A relationship just complicates things. And yes, there are so many beautiful things on the other side of all that complicated stuff, but unless you have someone with whom you can navigate that with, you’re never going to get there. And both of you are just going to become super messed up because of it all.
Take time. Find yourself. And once you do, strive to become the greatest version of yourself. It doesn’t have to be all at once. Just a little bit every day. The only too little is nothing at all.
Everything else will fall into place after that.
I promise.
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PokidotGamer898
Honestly, I am a bit insecure about some things like my height, my singing sometimes, but my crush is always supportive and encourages me to keep doing what I love. As far as conflict goes, I usually either take it or find out a way to compromise to where both of what we want can work. A perfect example is having kids. My crush wants kids but I don't, so I told him that if we were ever together the only kid he would have at least until I'm ready or even if I don't want kids ever, that he would have to deal with having a dog for a child, and by having a dog for a child I mean getting one and viewing it as taking care of a child because owning a dog is basically like owning a child except they don't leave you until they die. Then he told me that he'd be willing to compromise if he were to be with me. Another work around with kids is if I do ever end up wanting a kid there's always adoption. Like I feel like if I did want a kid, I wouldn't want to have it the normal way a couple would, I would want to adopt one if anything because the normal process is painful as crap from what I've heard. As far as knowing what I want, I know somewhat of what I want, not completely but enough to know what I need to work on in order to achieve it. I'm really good when it comes to workin around stuff and making compromises to make stuff work.
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Honestly, I am a bit insecure about some things like my height, my singing sometimes, but my crush is always supportive and encourages me to keep doing what I love. As far as conflict goes, I usually either take it or find out a way to compromise to where both of what we want can work. A perfect example is having kids. My crush wants kids but I don't, so I told him that if we were ever together the only kid he would have at least until I'm ready or even if I don't want kids ever, that he would have to deal with having a dog for a child, and by having a dog for a child I mean getting one and viewing it as taking care of a child because owning a dog is basically like owning a child except they don't leave you until they die. Then he told me that he'd be willing to compromise if he were to be with me. Another work around with kids is if I do ever end up wanting a kid there's always adoption. Like I feel like if I did want a kid, I wouldn't want to have it the normal way a couple would, I would want to adopt one if anything because the normal process is painful as crap from what I've heard. As far as knowing what I want, I know somewhat of what I want, not completely but enough to know what I need to work on in order to achieve it. I'm really good when it comes to workin around stuff and making compromises to make stuff work.
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dragon_force4843
27 and never been in a relationship. My thoughts over the years of being in a relationship alone have felt good. Thought of sharing my life with someone. Going on adventures, laughing with, and sharing intimacy, and being weird with each other. I think about that. But the thing is is I still am working on myself and the war that's going on in my head. Not to mention I'm introverted and get social anxiety. My social anxiety though has been getting better: D. I did have a girl tell me when I did go out that I'm the love of her life. I think about her alot. But I'm just working myself for right still. But a part of me just wants to scoop her up. But I am just not ready for a relationship.
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27 and never been in a relationship. My thoughts over the years of being in a relationship alone have felt good. Thought of sharing my life with someone. Going on adventures, laughing with, and sharing intimacy, and being weird with each other. I think about that. But the thing is is I still am working on myself and the war that's going on in my head. Not to mention I'm introverted and get social anxiety. My social anxiety though has been getting better: D. I did have a girl tell me when I did go out that I'm the love of her life. I think about her alot. But I'm just working myself for right still. But a part of me just wants to scoop her up. But I am just not ready for a relationship.
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Rando_mIndividual
0: 31 How do you act in your other relationships
1: 23 How do you feel about yourself
2: 07 Do you know what you want
2: 52 Do you change to attract people
3: 37 Do you feel pressured
Also, just for anyone who needs to hear it, please take your time. The world will not spin without you, it’s not gonna leave you behind. You deserve every kind of love, and self love is arguably the most important love of all. You’re allowed to take time to yourself, you’re allowed to feel uncertain, you are completely valid to value yourself. Don’t feel bad, you’re gonna do so well in life once you learn how much you matter and how much you’re truly loved.
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0: 31 How do you act in your other relationships
1: 23 How do you feel about yourself
2: 07 Do you know what you want
2: 52 Do you change to attract people
3: 37 Do you feel pressured
Also, just for anyone who needs to hear it, please take your time. The world will not spin without you, it’s not gonna leave you behind. You deserve every kind of love, and self love is arguably the most important love of all. You’re allowed to take time to yourself, you’re allowed to feel uncertain, you are completely valid to value yourself. Don’t feel bad, you’re gonna do so well in life once you learn how much you matter and how much you’re truly loved.
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jonaichi_09
Being alone isn't all that bad. It can be a journey to find yourself and evolve to the best version of yourself as well.
And another important thing: In my opinion, you grow more alone, since you have to face your own challenges/fears in life and overcome them yourself. Compared to when in you're in a relationship, where you also improve yourself but maybe more for the other person next to you Dunno, then again, that's subjective. After all, getting support from a partner is very nice thing to have too.
Good luck out there guys, be yourselves and accept the hard rejections. They will make you grow into an even better person.
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Being alone isn't all that bad. It can be a journey to find yourself and evolve to the best version of yourself as well.
And another important thing: In my opinion, you grow more alone, since you have to face your own challenges/fears in life and overcome them yourself. Compared to when in you're in a relationship, where you also improve yourself but maybe more for the other person next to you Dunno, then again, that's subjective. After all, getting support from a partner is very nice thing to have too.
Good luck out there guys, be yourselves and accept the hard rejections. They will make you grow into an even better person.
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mariekeb8226
I’m a 35 yo woman, I’m alone for over 10 years now. At first because I needed my own time, and dated casually over time, nothing serious. Since last year I wanted to take it seriously again, and dated a woman who I really came to like. She liked me too, but she didn’t had deeper feelings then that, so after a couple of months she gave up. We don’t speak anymore, I still miss her, I really wanted it to work out.
We had so much in common, and how we see our future etc.
I don’t see myself with anyone else anymore.
I feel so lost and alone, because I want to feel loved, and I’ve got so much love to give as well
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I’m a 35 yo woman, I’m alone for over 10 years now. At first because I needed my own time, and dated casually over time, nothing serious. Since last year I wanted to take it seriously again, and dated a woman who I really came to like. She liked me too, but she didn’t had deeper feelings then that, so after a couple of months she gave up. We don’t speak anymore, I still miss her, I really wanted it to work out.
We had so much in common, and how we see our future etc.
I don’t see myself with anyone else anymore.
I feel so lost and alone, because I want to feel loved, and I’ve got so much love to give as well
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jirehzamudio25
I believe we just need to find someone who will help us grow. If it is true that romantic relationship is not meant for someone, i think it should not be a reason to stop one's personal growth, example: teachers they don't need to be alone when their purpose is to teach students. What matters in life is you know your purpose and you can manage stress do you won't end up being depressed like the lonely people who lost their hope to continue living, because they think they don't have a purpose. This is just my insight based on my observations/ecperiences.
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I believe we just need to find someone who will help us grow. If it is true that romantic relationship is not meant for someone, i think it should not be a reason to stop one's personal growth, example: teachers they don't need to be alone when their purpose is to teach students. What matters in life is you know your purpose and you can manage stress do you won't end up being depressed like the lonely people who lost their hope to continue living, because they think they don't have a purpose. This is just my insight based on my observations/ecperiences.
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goontheracoon
signs dude, you don't need to look for signs. go to the closest mirror, self reflect on pros and cons. you'll find that no amount of personality can make up for that face of yours.
stop being needy, get a dog and live a life without other ppl's piling problems on your back. despite looking like one, your not an emotional donkey so don't set yourself up to be one.
come back in 25 years to thank me when all your friends are emotionally drained, divorced, economically ruined and at the brink of antihero.
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signs dude, you don't need to look for signs. go to the closest mirror, self reflect on pros and cons. you'll find that no amount of personality can make up for that face of yours.
stop being needy, get a dog and live a life without other ppl's piling problems on your back. despite looking like one, your not an emotional donkey so don't set yourself up to be one.
come back in 25 years to thank me when all your friends are emotionally drained, divorced, economically ruined and at the brink of antihero.
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Juuchan17
I honestly WANT to experience being in a romantic relationship (I'm forever single at 38, never dated anyone because I'm extremely nervous about the whole process and more scared of no one really wanting someone so old & inexperienced, but I'm more into becoming friends with people first before anything can go further into romance territory. I mean, maybe one day it'll happen. right I still have hope that my soulmate has been waiting to meet me, but I have no idea how to find him (I'm such a hopeless romantic.
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I honestly WANT to experience being in a romantic relationship (I'm forever single at 38, never dated anyone because I'm extremely nervous about the whole process and more scared of no one really wanting someone so old & inexperienced, but I'm more into becoming friends with people first before anything can go further into romance territory. I mean, maybe one day it'll happen. right I still have hope that my soulmate has been waiting to meet me, but I have no idea how to find him (I'm such a hopeless romantic.
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tatum2509
The only thing I can see I struggle with (and my partner as well) is the fact that I couldn't imagine a future for myself before meeting my bf, I felt horrible about myself, and just when I met him I felt like I had some worth, not just as a partner but as a whole person. I dont think that'll go away if we break up, but I've learned it with him. I hope we both get treated someday and can learn to love ourselves more, but I don't think I need to leave them to feel worthy for myself now.
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The only thing I can see I struggle with (and my partner as well) is the fact that I couldn't imagine a future for myself before meeting my bf, I felt horrible about myself, and just when I met him I felt like I had some worth, not just as a partner but as a whole person. I dont think that'll go away if we break up, but I've learned it with him. I hope we both get treated someday and can learn to love ourselves more, but I don't think I need to leave them to feel worthy for myself now.
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yavuzakkus9548
You should work on becoming the best version of yourself. It is such a tiresome and useless piece of advice that it should be banned forever. It could make people think that only the best people deserve to be in a romantic relationship. Like, how many people in a relationship have worked hard and became the best versions of themselves I'm not buying it, never have. Work on yourself if you need to, but never for a potential relationship.
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You should work on becoming the best version of yourself. It is such a tiresome and useless piece of advice that it should be banned forever. It could make people think that only the best people deserve to be in a romantic relationship. Like, how many people in a relationship have worked hard and became the best versions of themselves I'm not buying it, never have. Work on yourself if you need to, but never for a potential relationship.
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sandiletwala3001
Yeah I never have dated but I can relate to this topic because I don't know how to communicate with another person and I'm still working on improving my life and achieving my goals and honestly I may be a patient person but I'm really used to being alone and being independent. Honestly I want to be single until I die and I don't want to give a romantic relationship a chance ever in my life. I'm good with being single
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Yeah I never have dated but I can relate to this topic because I don't know how to communicate with another person and I'm still working on improving my life and achieving my goals and honestly I may be a patient person but I'm really used to being alone and being independent. Honestly I want to be single until I die and I don't want to give a romantic relationship a chance ever in my life. I'm good with being single
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Laniya.
When i was talking to someone for the first time, I realized how insecure i was. On top of that, I was dismissing all the red flags from this guy because I got attached so quickly, and I just wanted to be with him. I realized I had an attachment issue and a communication issue. So I am glad he ghosted me because I needed to work on myself so that I could attract people that also worked on themselves
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When i was talking to someone for the first time, I realized how insecure i was. On top of that, I was dismissing all the red flags from this guy because I got attached so quickly, and I just wanted to be with him. I realized I had an attachment issue and a communication issue. So I am glad he ghosted me because I needed to work on myself so that I could attract people that also worked on themselves
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dont_ask_none
Want a relationship but still kinda figuring out who I am, what my goals are, and just really trying to live in the moment.
I don’t want to get into a relationship just to impose on others because I wasn’t ready.
I kind of had already made up my mind about this so I’m not sure why I watched the video now
maybe I’ll be back in a few years time to reflect on these things.
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Want a relationship but still kinda figuring out who I am, what my goals are, and just really trying to live in the moment.
I don’t want to get into a relationship just to impose on others because I wasn’t ready.
I kind of had already made up my mind about this so I’m not sure why I watched the video now
maybe I’ll be back in a few years time to reflect on these things.
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jwanie366
I've been asking myself recently if I'm ready for a long-term relationship (or if I actually even want one. So many people I've known for awhile have gotten married or had kids over the last few years so I've been getting that FOMO. But my family keeps telling me it's just not my time yet; I just gotta keep working on maturing as a person and eventually I'll meet that special someone
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I've been asking myself recently if I'm ready for a long-term relationship (or if I actually even want one. So many people I've known for awhile have gotten married or had kids over the last few years so I've been getting that FOMO. But my family keeps telling me it's just not my time yet; I just gotta keep working on maturing as a person and eventually I'll meet that special someone
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psych2go
Nah I'm cool Anytime I tried to occasionally ask anyone out I got shot down but sometimes gently so then I had somebody cool to at laugh and joke with at least. Where I moved in the past three years I only had two crushes. That's how I know I'm not ready for a relationship because nobody else is. The best kind of humor is the self deprecating kind.
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Nah I'm cool Anytime I tried to occasionally ask anyone out I got shot down but sometimes gently so then I had somebody cool to at laugh and joke with at least. Where I moved in the past three years I only had two crushes. That's how I know I'm not ready for a relationship because nobody else is. The best kind of humor is the self deprecating kind.
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smilesmile9355
I already know I'm not compatible on being on a relationship haha, even if I liked to be in one I know I'm just gonna cause trouble my friends and family saying I haven't try yet why do I giving such conclusion already, but the reason I know myself more than anyone I really had an high self-awareness of own character and needs
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I already know I'm not compatible on being on a relationship haha, even if I liked to be in one I know I'm just gonna cause trouble my friends and family saying I haven't try yet why do I giving such conclusion already, but the reason I know myself more than anyone I really had an high self-awareness of own character and needs
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RealNorbol
Honestly I know full well I'm unlovable, I'll never deserve it. It's why I keep away from people because then they aren't burdened by having to look at me or be around me. I just wish I wasn't so selfish and worthless for wanting to be loved even though I know it's impossible for me to be lovable.
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Honestly I know full well I'm unlovable, I'll never deserve it. It's why I keep away from people because then they aren't burdened by having to look at me or be around me. I just wish I wasn't so selfish and worthless for wanting to be loved even though I know it's impossible for me to be lovable.
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silver9062
Great video, but I feel like there's a lot missing: The facet of how your personality influences the types of people you attract. Are you a super nice and agreeable person Then you'll probably attract vindictive narcissists, and relationships are something better avoided due to this kind of thing.
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Great video, but I feel like there's a lot missing: The facet of how your personality influences the types of people you attract. Are you a super nice and agreeable person Then you'll probably attract vindictive narcissists, and relationships are something better avoided due to this kind of thing.
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