8 Things People with High Functioning Depression Want You To Know
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
keggycat
If you are struggling with depression, I can tell you that in most cases it can be dealt with. Though my depression has been under control for years, I remember what it was like. I was super high functioning, because Id always felt pressure to be perfect. I hid it very, very well, even from myself. I could work effectively, go out, laugh, have fun. But inside I was constantly criticizing myself. Everything was gray. There were no highs in my life, and I felt detached. I started thinking it wouldnt be such a bad thing if I wasnt around anymore. I finally got treatment when I started struggling with anxiety. I decided to tell my counselor what Id been feeling. She looked at me and said, youre depressed. I looked back at her and said, youre right. It was a revelation. I had convinced myself that the way I felt was just what happened as you got older. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was really shocked when I told them. It took months of counseling, along with medication, to start to feel like myself again. My emotions are normal now. I feel the normal ups and downs of life. If I feel I might have a problem, I have a session with my counselor to put it into perspective. If you are struggling, please, please get help. You may feel that the world is better off without you, but you have people who would strongly disagree. You can get through this. Im rooting for you.
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If you are struggling with depression, I can tell you that in most cases it can be dealt with. Though my depression has been under control for years, I remember what it was like. I was super high functioning, because Id always felt pressure to be perfect. I hid it very, very well, even from myself. I could work effectively, go out, laugh, have fun. But inside I was constantly criticizing myself. Everything was gray. There were no highs in my life, and I felt detached. I started thinking it wouldnt be such a bad thing if I wasnt around anymore. I finally got treatment when I started struggling with anxiety. I decided to tell my counselor what Id been feeling. She looked at me and said, youre depressed. I looked back at her and said, youre right. It was a revelation. I had convinced myself that the way I felt was just what happened as you got older. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was really shocked when I told them. It took months of counseling, along with medication, to start to feel like myself again. My emotions are normal now. I feel the normal ups and downs of life. If I feel I might have a problem, I have a session with my counselor to put it into perspective. If you are struggling, please, please get help. You may feel that the world is better off without you, but you have people who would strongly disagree. You can get through this. Im rooting for you.
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Khushboo
My best-est friend, when I told her I had depression, she tried to dissect what I was feeling.
The word depression is so stigmatised, she tried to make me believe I was just frustated and not really depressed.
More friends called me lazy and attention -seeker, always crying despite having everything, when I tried to explain to them what depression felt like to me.
Now, I rarely use the term depression anymore. And my friends are fine. They would use it to make jokes themselves but when I bring it up seriously, they'll judge me.
When I first admitted to my brother that maybe I need to see a psychiatrist because I really really was having trouble handling things and my depression, he said, 'I know you got wounded (emotionally) a lot, but maybe its not depression '. He tried to hint if PMS mood swings had something to do with it.
And my father was like, 'Dont lose to life's challenges. There's no such thing like depression. '
Some of these instances are common between people suffering from depression, in general and those suffering from PDD, but whatever.
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My best-est friend, when I told her I had depression, she tried to dissect what I was feeling.
The word depression is so stigmatised, she tried to make me believe I was just frustated and not really depressed.
More friends called me lazy and attention -seeker, always crying despite having everything, when I tried to explain to them what depression felt like to me.
Now, I rarely use the term depression anymore. And my friends are fine. They would use it to make jokes themselves but when I bring it up seriously, they'll judge me.
When I first admitted to my brother that maybe I need to see a psychiatrist because I really really was having trouble handling things and my depression, he said, 'I know you got wounded (emotionally) a lot, but maybe its not depression '. He tried to hint if PMS mood swings had something to do with it.
And my father was like, 'Dont lose to life's challenges. There's no such thing like depression. '
Some of these instances are common between people suffering from depression, in general and those suffering from PDD, but whatever.
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Whiskey
An above average day for me is if any of the following happen: I manage to not sleep in past the bus time and don't cab to work, if I eat breakfast before actually starting my work day, if remember to order my lunch before lunch hour, and if I get home from work and do something other than lay in bed doing/feeling nothing (or doing a trivial addicting activity like net surfing, texting, or mobile gaming) while the hours literally sprint by or even just flat out sleep for most of the evening, and if I don't stay up late on account of anxiously sensing the need to get last minute work done because I wasn't able to bring basic tasks on my chore/to do list to the forefront of my consciousness and find the motivation to do them, if breakfast and supper are actual meals rather than whatever bits and pieces I scrounge up or buy from a convenience store last minute, and if I prepare a lunch for work and manage to actually eat said lunch without wasting any of it
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An above average day for me is if any of the following happen: I manage to not sleep in past the bus time and don't cab to work, if I eat breakfast before actually starting my work day, if remember to order my lunch before lunch hour, and if I get home from work and do something other than lay in bed doing/feeling nothing (or doing a trivial addicting activity like net surfing, texting, or mobile gaming) while the hours literally sprint by or even just flat out sleep for most of the evening, and if I don't stay up late on account of anxiously sensing the need to get last minute work done because I wasn't able to bring basic tasks on my chore/to do list to the forefront of my consciousness and find the motivation to do them, if breakfast and supper are actual meals rather than whatever bits and pieces I scrounge up or buy from a convenience store last minute, and if I prepare a lunch for work and manage to actually eat said lunch without wasting any of it
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Andrew
I lost my dad 2 weeks ago. He was retired but extremely active around the house, volunteering, and with his hobbies. He was social and excited about plans for the future. His face was full of warm smiles. Then he left us with nothing but a note saying he loves us all and a phone call from the police.
Everyone around him saw him as a rock they could rely on, someone who never faltered or failed to lend a hand to someone in need. I can't know for sure what he was dealing with, but I know for certainthat I wish he asked for help. If you are struggling inside and you're afraid of disappointing people by opening up, please please consider being honest with someone about how you're feeling. Even if you feel like you're strong enough to take care of it yourself, all it takes is one off day.
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I lost my dad 2 weeks ago. He was retired but extremely active around the house, volunteering, and with his hobbies. He was social and excited about plans for the future. His face was full of warm smiles. Then he left us with nothing but a note saying he loves us all and a phone call from the police.
Everyone around him saw him as a rock they could rely on, someone who never faltered or failed to lend a hand to someone in need. I can't know for sure what he was dealing with, but I know for certainthat I wish he asked for help. If you are struggling inside and you're afraid of disappointing people by opening up, please please consider being honest with someone about how you're feeling. Even if you feel like you're strong enough to take care of it yourself, all it takes is one off day.
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Do
There is no help. This must be generic or a spiritual affliction. We can maybe get support from some paid cheerleader therapists but ultimately this is just who we are and we have to find ways to make it through life. Ive been this way since second grade, if not earlier. I am 50 now. I kept my life responsibilities simple ( no marriage or children) because I always knew I dont and never would have the energy for any of it. Latest relapse into MDD has been on for over a year now. Each recovery is less. I am now comfortably numb. The only time I feel anything is when I fantasize about the life I wish I had and I cry and then I stuff it back in and forget about it and go being high functioning at my job, which is insanely stressful. I spend my days off in bed.
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There is no help. This must be generic or a spiritual affliction. We can maybe get support from some paid cheerleader therapists but ultimately this is just who we are and we have to find ways to make it through life. Ive been this way since second grade, if not earlier. I am 50 now. I kept my life responsibilities simple ( no marriage or children) because I always knew I dont and never would have the energy for any of it. Latest relapse into MDD has been on for over a year now. Each recovery is less. I am now comfortably numb. The only time I feel anything is when I fantasize about the life I wish I had and I cry and then I stuff it back in and forget about it and go being high functioning at my job, which is insanely stressful. I spend my days off in bed.
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Uatafak
When I was contemplating enging it all, I figured that if I do not, I will only do things I enjoy from now on and try spending more time doing what relaxes me and avoid what brought me to the brink. It is still hard at times, but with time and experience I learned how to let go and accepted that I will always have tough periods, but they eventually end and at times I really enjoy life and found some inner peace. Don't be ashamed of depression, when I started talking more openly to people about it, it sort of filtered out the ones who would never care and their 'toxic' positivity from the empthatic and wonderul human beings who really care about me. Wish y'all the best
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When I was contemplating enging it all, I figured that if I do not, I will only do things I enjoy from now on and try spending more time doing what relaxes me and avoid what brought me to the brink. It is still hard at times, but with time and experience I learned how to let go and accepted that I will always have tough periods, but they eventually end and at times I really enjoy life and found some inner peace. Don't be ashamed of depression, when I started talking more openly to people about it, it sort of filtered out the ones who would never care and their 'toxic' positivity from the empthatic and wonderul human beings who really care about me. Wish y'all the best
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RNolis
Tbh I didn't even know i had depression cuz i fooled myself even though a litteral normal day is rare for me and everyday has been 13/14 chance of being terrible. When i did reach out i didn't know what to say cuz i didn't know i was depressed all i knew was i was stressed and needed a break and that's what i said. And in 1-4 grade (me a boy) my only friends were 2-4 girls because every single boy and a lot of girls there bullied me mostly mentally and caused me to hide in my shell. I am even surprised i can still try to reach out at all tbh. Can anyone help me with what I can say because I ain't really a good speaker
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Tbh I didn't even know i had depression cuz i fooled myself even though a litteral normal day is rare for me and everyday has been 13/14 chance of being terrible. When i did reach out i didn't know what to say cuz i didn't know i was depressed all i knew was i was stressed and needed a break and that's what i said. And in 1-4 grade (me a boy) my only friends were 2-4 girls because every single boy and a lot of girls there bullied me mostly mentally and caused me to hide in my shell. I am even surprised i can still try to reach out at all tbh. Can anyone help me with what I can say because I ain't really a good speaker
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yoko
It's also hard to know when it starts, it's like the toad in the pot cooking over low heat. little by little everything loses color and so gradually that you get used to living like this, believing and deceiving yourself that it's just normal You even have lapses where your acting is so ingrained that you end up genuinely thinking it's over until the emptiness returns inside and you have to remind yourself to put yourself in the role of everything is fine. Over time it becomes more and more difficult to visualize what your life would be like if you did not have it.
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It's also hard to know when it starts, it's like the toad in the pot cooking over low heat. little by little everything loses color and so gradually that you get used to living like this, believing and deceiving yourself that it's just normal You even have lapses where your acting is so ingrained that you end up genuinely thinking it's over until the emptiness returns inside and you have to remind yourself to put yourself in the role of everything is fine. Over time it becomes more and more difficult to visualize what your life would be like if you did not have it.
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The
Wow. almost 3 years to find this. I used to go in the kitchen and stand in front of the sink and just start tearing up to the point where i couldnt even see the dishes anymore. i wouldnt get out of the bed until 5pm. I would just lay there all day. It was sad, disgusting, and one of the most important periods in my life. I'm still struggling through certain thoughts about myself and my capabilities, even though I kno I'm good at what I do. In my 20's, I never would have thought I wouldve suffered depression a decade later. God is the master of irony and humor.
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Wow. almost 3 years to find this. I used to go in the kitchen and stand in front of the sink and just start tearing up to the point where i couldnt even see the dishes anymore. i wouldnt get out of the bed until 5pm. I would just lay there all day. It was sad, disgusting, and one of the most important periods in my life. I'm still struggling through certain thoughts about myself and my capabilities, even though I kno I'm good at what I do. In my 20's, I never would have thought I wouldve suffered depression a decade later. God is the master of irony and humor.
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Elios
I most of the time are in a cycle of being super creative, productive, smart and stuff and then going into periods of um sadnes? Last time I tried to talk to my familly they just said that I needed to take some vitamin. I felt broken that time because I just couldn't hold my mind together anymore and a familly member just told me that obviously everyone suffers, and everyone allways act like they are fine, and that I should do that too. I'm not diagnosed with anything, and I'm probably ok. This is just a bad experience that I wanted to share haha.
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I most of the time are in a cycle of being super creative, productive, smart and stuff and then going into periods of um sadnes? Last time I tried to talk to my familly they just said that I needed to take some vitamin. I felt broken that time because I just couldn't hold my mind together anymore and a familly member just told me that obviously everyone suffers, and everyone allways act like they are fine, and that I should do that too. I'm not diagnosed with anything, and I'm probably ok. This is just a bad experience that I wanted to share haha.
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Solid
For almost a decade now, I'm almost 30 btw, I walk around like a zombie on some days. It feels like being immensely tired and it's easier by going out of anyone's way. Uni allows me the least amount of communication with others as well, happy about that. And It's manageable, playing Guitar and creating music always makes me happy, so I get joy on a lot of days. Rheumatoide Arthritis tho kind of plays against me progressively worse with that and more. So I'm thinking of getting professional help. So most described in the video hits home.
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For almost a decade now, I'm almost 30 btw, I walk around like a zombie on some days. It feels like being immensely tired and it's easier by going out of anyone's way. Uni allows me the least amount of communication with others as well, happy about that. And It's manageable, playing Guitar and creating music always makes me happy, so I get joy on a lot of days. Rheumatoide Arthritis tho kind of plays against me progressively worse with that and more. So I'm thinking of getting professional help. So most described in the video hits home.
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William
(Before this video I saw a video that I enjoyed but I felt like I was a bad viewer to. I changed it up and made a good comment and felt whole)
So I thought I could handle this video (at least briefly) and I wasn't (at that moment) in depression. I even told myself as I watched this video that I am not in depression.
I consider myself relatively healthy for the moment in that respect. ( but I suppose someone never knows how long it will last ) wholeness is precious.
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(Before this video I saw a video that I enjoyed but I felt like I was a bad viewer to. I changed it up and made a good comment and felt whole)
So I thought I could handle this video (at least briefly) and I wasn't (at that moment) in depression. I even told myself as I watched this video that I am not in depression.
I consider myself relatively healthy for the moment in that respect. ( but I suppose someone never knows how long it will last ) wholeness is precious.
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Bell
I now realise that I have suffered from this condition all my life and can ascribe many many poor decisions because of it. It is now paralysing me following the death of my wife 6 months ago. I cared for her at home for many years as she declined through a very hurtful paranoia into vascular dementia. She died at home. I had to put a beloved dog to sleep because I could not cope. I am talking the my doctor and am medicated but feel myself drifting towards suicide. I am 81.
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I now realise that I have suffered from this condition all my life and can ascribe many many poor decisions because of it. It is now paralysing me following the death of my wife 6 months ago. I cared for her at home for many years as she declined through a very hurtful paranoia into vascular dementia. She died at home. I had to put a beloved dog to sleep because I could not cope. I am talking the my doctor and am medicated but feel myself drifting towards suicide. I am 81.
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Winter
I think we hide the depression, so we don't appear even more like a failure.
We are ashamed of being depressed, and think we should simply work harder to overcome it.
We are being overloaded with criticism and expectations, and desperately try to justify yourself, thinking we should get on top of everything.
That's how i feel.
The abcess is now burst in my case. I resigned from a horrendous situation.
And feel devastated, as i set up the business.
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I think we hide the depression, so we don't appear even more like a failure.
We are ashamed of being depressed, and think we should simply work harder to overcome it.
We are being overloaded with criticism and expectations, and desperately try to justify yourself, thinking we should get on top of everything.
That's how i feel.
The abcess is now burst in my case. I resigned from a horrendous situation.
And feel devastated, as i set up the business.
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Wizdude
The one huge tip I could give to anyone trying to perform mental health analysis of a person - dont ask us if we are ok - we are programmed to always give the correct response and say everything is just fine. Ask us to rate it on a scale of 10. You might be surprised that you get a more accurate understanding of a person. I suffer from HFD and I rate my life as 2 out of 10 most days. Ill never get to a 10 or anything close. For me I just dream of getting to a 5.
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The one huge tip I could give to anyone trying to perform mental health analysis of a person - dont ask us if we are ok - we are programmed to always give the correct response and say everything is just fine. Ask us to rate it on a scale of 10. You might be surprised that you get a more accurate understanding of a person. I suffer from HFD and I rate my life as 2 out of 10 most days. Ill never get to a 10 or anything close. For me I just dream of getting to a 5.
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Penultimania
I don't want anyone to know anything. The world doesn't revolve around me and it's unreasonable to expect people to eDucAtE thEmSelVeS on literally every single condition out there. This is destroying us as a society and causing more depression. We can't be hyperaware of everything bad that's going on. Stop trying to be the centre of the universe. Just go about your life and try to deal with the hardships as best you can. Grow some balls people.
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I don't want anyone to know anything. The world doesn't revolve around me and it's unreasonable to expect people to eDucAtE thEmSelVeS on literally every single condition out there. This is destroying us as a society and causing more depression. We can't be hyperaware of everything bad that's going on. Stop trying to be the centre of the universe. Just go about your life and try to deal with the hardships as best you can. Grow some balls people.
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Layla
Went undiagnosed for depression for years. Medication, therapy, and self-awareness has really helped me feel normal. I thought it was normal for everything to always feel so difficult and it bled into my relationships. It didnt help that people around me were also depressed helping to normalize feeling like life is just always numb with some exceptions. It does get better, it just takes a lot of work and a good support system.
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Went undiagnosed for depression for years. Medication, therapy, and self-awareness has really helped me feel normal. I thought it was normal for everything to always feel so difficult and it bled into my relationships. It didnt help that people around me were also depressed helping to normalize feeling like life is just always numb with some exceptions. It does get better, it just takes a lot of work and a good support system.
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JussyRaven2
This totally described my every day.
I work from home because dealing with other people is just too much for me. I tend to watch videos while working and yea, I skate by on the minimum, even though my boss/es all think I'm great. I don't feel great. I don't feel like I deserve recognition, praise, or even a raise. which I have received but it took a LOT not to say: What, why?
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This totally described my every day.
I work from home because dealing with other people is just too much for me. I tend to watch videos while working and yea, I skate by on the minimum, even though my boss/es all think I'm great. I don't feel great. I don't feel like I deserve recognition, praise, or even a raise. which I have received but it took a LOT not to say: What, why?
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Christina
I exhibited imposter syndrome at maybe 4 yrs old. My mom dressed me up in a dress and had me show my dad who worked nights and was sleeping. She said show your daddy! So I woke him, he he groggily said oh ya you look pretty. I said you're just saying that cuz you're my daddy! And ran back to my room crying.
I constantly was in trouble for daydreaming in 2nd grade.
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I exhibited imposter syndrome at maybe 4 yrs old. My mom dressed me up in a dress and had me show my dad who worked nights and was sleeping. She said show your daddy! So I woke him, he he groggily said oh ya you look pretty. I said you're just saying that cuz you're my daddy! And ran back to my room crying.
I constantly was in trouble for daydreaming in 2nd grade.
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education
Very accurate. I know I often put on the mask of being ok. even when I am not as I don't want to burden others with my issues, feeling that it will hurt them in some way or make them see me differently and putty me instead of help.
I am working to try and not see that, but decades of wearing the mask makes it hard to stop.
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Very accurate. I know I often put on the mask of being ok. even when I am not as I don't want to burden others with my issues, feeling that it will hurt them in some way or make them see me differently and putty me instead of help.
I am working to try and not see that, but decades of wearing the mask makes it hard to stop.
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Cal
I personally suffer from PDD, its Herculean how hard it is to even give myself personal praise in any circumstance, and pretending to be normal honestly takes a toll each and every day.
At some point, I learned to just accept being ok on the surface for other peoples sake, and its a habit that is hard to shake.
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I personally suffer from PDD, its Herculean how hard it is to even give myself personal praise in any circumstance, and pretending to be normal honestly takes a toll each and every day.
At some point, I learned to just accept being ok on the surface for other peoples sake, and its a habit that is hard to shake.
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Weegan
Cries for help? screw that, I don't want people coming too close. but sure, if I'm up shi. creek without a paddle in the middle of the night during a thunder storm, I might say I'm that experiencing a less of an average day, just enough for that bit of sympathy to get me ashore without nobody getting any wiser.
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Cries for help? screw that, I don't want people coming too close. but sure, if I'm up shi. creek without a paddle in the middle of the night during a thunder storm, I might say I'm that experiencing a less of an average day, just enough for that bit of sympathy to get me ashore without nobody getting any wiser.
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Jenn
I throw myself into work and other things to distract myself from thinking. If I stop to think, I completely break down. My house is a disaster, my oldest child won't have anything to do with me and I feel like a complete and abject failure. And I've been doing this dance for years.
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I throw myself into work and other things to distract myself from thinking. If I stop to think, I completely break down. My house is a disaster, my oldest child won't have anything to do with me and I feel like a complete and abject failure. And I've been doing this dance for years.
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Winter
This is an exceptionally good description of the facts and feelings.
Some I was not even aware were happening to me.
Scary.
And because we are not conscious of the level of severe issues, we don't press the alarm bell.
Until something happens and events take over.
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This is an exceptionally good description of the facts and feelings.
Some I was not even aware were happening to me.
Scary.
And because we are not conscious of the level of severe issues, we don't press the alarm bell.
Until something happens and events take over.
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herzkine
Very well done, that's actually me the last 25 years and it got already got me into a very bad stroke and, lack of social private life and a career at the very bottom with university degree. Maybe this will help me to finally get some help, on the next normal, I promise; )
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Very well done, that's actually me the last 25 years and it got already got me into a very bad stroke and, lack of social private life and a career at the very bottom with university degree. Maybe this will help me to finally get some help, on the next normal, I promise; )
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