10 Signs Your Parent is a Narcissist
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Alexis
Yea. even when you address the behavior or express how the way they treated you made you feel xyz even STATING OBVIOUSLY and preframing that you are talking about it for learning and growth mindset reasons, this goes over their heads. No empathy, just well that's ridiculous, you should be grateful. I've done so much for you. I'm not this bad guy you play me out to be Dont even get me started about pressuring me to make big life decisions on their terms and have them be there for it (so they can control the situation. I hate resorting to fawning but my mind gets in a knot and I just become a bystander to the situation because it feels like nothing I say has much value or will change anything with them around. Never mind even going out somewhere and being asked to change after I feel confident and myself for what I'm wearing. I'll never forget the day when I was a kid and didnt wear makeup because it was the weekend and my mother seemed disappointed and asked Aren't you going to look nice for your family? Like ouch. I didnt realize the weight that carried until I moved on my own. No wonder i had constant struggling self esteem. Every time I'd try to improve it, it would just be beaten down by the people I'm supposed to look up to, admire & respect.
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Yea. even when you address the behavior or express how the way they treated you made you feel xyz even STATING OBVIOUSLY and preframing that you are talking about it for learning and growth mindset reasons, this goes over their heads. No empathy, just well that's ridiculous, you should be grateful. I've done so much for you. I'm not this bad guy you play me out to be Dont even get me started about pressuring me to make big life decisions on their terms and have them be there for it (so they can control the situation. I hate resorting to fawning but my mind gets in a knot and I just become a bystander to the situation because it feels like nothing I say has much value or will change anything with them around. Never mind even going out somewhere and being asked to change after I feel confident and myself for what I'm wearing. I'll never forget the day when I was a kid and didnt wear makeup because it was the weekend and my mother seemed disappointed and asked Aren't you going to look nice for your family? Like ouch. I didnt realize the weight that carried until I moved on my own. No wonder i had constant struggling self esteem. Every time I'd try to improve it, it would just be beaten down by the people I'm supposed to look up to, admire & respect.
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psych2go
I figured out my dad is a narcissist because he has a pattern of trying to take advantage of me as an instinctive response to criticism, or if I expose some vulnerability I have.
One time I went to do something on my own because it's especially annoying to be around him when he's drunk. His response was to drunkenly ask me if anything was wrong and I can talk to him about it. When I told him directly what I was doing his first response was to get really defensive and try to fish for information he could use against me regarding how much drinking I do (which isn't much) and project everything onto me. It really disgusts me when people do that grubby BS. Like the natural aversion/disgust most people would experience from being around someone who wipes their butt with their bare hands and doesn't wash afterwards despite being told constantly how unhealthy that is.
Used to think he was just dumb or something, but now I see it's much deeper than that. He essentially told me recently that he's a complete POS who can't help but naturally try to constantly manipulate people as a default mode of doing things. Human garbage. Don't waste time trying to reason with trash. Get it out of your life or it will continue stinking up the place.
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I figured out my dad is a narcissist because he has a pattern of trying to take advantage of me as an instinctive response to criticism, or if I expose some vulnerability I have.
One time I went to do something on my own because it's especially annoying to be around him when he's drunk. His response was to drunkenly ask me if anything was wrong and I can talk to him about it. When I told him directly what I was doing his first response was to get really defensive and try to fish for information he could use against me regarding how much drinking I do (which isn't much) and project everything onto me. It really disgusts me when people do that grubby BS. Like the natural aversion/disgust most people would experience from being around someone who wipes their butt with their bare hands and doesn't wash afterwards despite being told constantly how unhealthy that is.
Used to think he was just dumb or something, but now I see it's much deeper than that. He essentially told me recently that he's a complete POS who can't help but naturally try to constantly manipulate people as a default mode of doing things. Human garbage. Don't waste time trying to reason with trash. Get it out of your life or it will continue stinking up the place.
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Noah
I think only now I started looking at this more seriously. I identified my parents in most of the parental behaviour mentioned here and I relate to pretty much ALL of the consequences listed
Im constantly feeling really tired while also feeling Im not doing enough to be an acceptable person, even when people in my good circle tell me Im a great guy.
Im nice to everyone and truly feel like I care about people much more intensely than most care about me, which usually leaves me feeling like a burden. And I wish I wasnt this intensely emotional, because I believe, rationally, it isnt healthy, even if Ive learned to hide it better on the outside.
Not only that, but I think it affects me in the search for a partner. I feel like Im brimming with love to give, but I have a hard time getting a date with the people Im interested in. And then also cannot hold on to relationships Im on a 5 year streak of the few dates I got leaving after no longer than 3 months, ALWAYS saying that Im a great guy / the BEST GUY EVAR. Ive come to loathe this particular type of phrase
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I think only now I started looking at this more seriously. I identified my parents in most of the parental behaviour mentioned here and I relate to pretty much ALL of the consequences listed
Im constantly feeling really tired while also feeling Im not doing enough to be an acceptable person, even when people in my good circle tell me Im a great guy.
Im nice to everyone and truly feel like I care about people much more intensely than most care about me, which usually leaves me feeling like a burden. And I wish I wasnt this intensely emotional, because I believe, rationally, it isnt healthy, even if Ive learned to hide it better on the outside.
Not only that, but I think it affects me in the search for a partner. I feel like Im brimming with love to give, but I have a hard time getting a date with the people Im interested in. And then also cannot hold on to relationships Im on a 5 year streak of the few dates I got leaving after no longer than 3 months, ALWAYS saying that Im a great guy / the BEST GUY EVAR. Ive come to loathe this particular type of phrase
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Melissa
I was wondering. when you talked about self destruction, can self harm like cutting be included? Also when you were talking about gaslighting, sometimes I call out my parents on something they said a few years or months ago, they say it never happened. And when i talk about things that happened when I was younger, my parents also say it never happened. And the gaslighting can be the exact same with friends. My friend gaslit me while we were playing video games and made me question my sight/sanity. He later admitted that he was gaslighting me and LAUGHED. He bragged about how sadistic he is and how many people he make feel like shit for his own pleasure.
Also I have a pretty short fuse for a thirteen year old. He often takes advantage of that and enjoys making me angry and laughing about it to my other friends and laughed at me. My other friend Emma says that he is constantly hitting her on the bus to wake her up more. I really need advice on how to deal with him.
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I was wondering. when you talked about self destruction, can self harm like cutting be included? Also when you were talking about gaslighting, sometimes I call out my parents on something they said a few years or months ago, they say it never happened. And when i talk about things that happened when I was younger, my parents also say it never happened. And the gaslighting can be the exact same with friends. My friend gaslit me while we were playing video games and made me question my sight/sanity. He later admitted that he was gaslighting me and LAUGHED. He bragged about how sadistic he is and how many people he make feel like shit for his own pleasure.
Also I have a pretty short fuse for a thirteen year old. He often takes advantage of that and enjoys making me angry and laughing about it to my other friends and laughed at me. My other friend Emma says that he is constantly hitting her on the bus to wake her up more. I really need advice on how to deal with him.
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6ColourMeRainbow9
Well now I'm confused! My mum demonstrates a lot of these, but in a different way. Can't take criticism without crying or removing her presence(either physically or mentally, gaslights when I call her out or when I tell her something about me and she says I'm wrong(which, you're not me how the hell do you know fr, and she walls off my independence like I'm 26 and not allowed to go for a walk in the dark and guilt trips me till i give in to her overprotective whims. She comments on my weight and coping mechs(food and music) at random but indulges in them herself.
She's never intentionally malicious, and ik her childhood made her adopt these behavior, so it's hard to put this label on her, and I have no idea how harmful she really is to me. I can't afford to move out tho, and I've got a system, but I'm so tired of walking on eggshells.
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Well now I'm confused! My mum demonstrates a lot of these, but in a different way. Can't take criticism without crying or removing her presence(either physically or mentally, gaslights when I call her out or when I tell her something about me and she says I'm wrong(which, you're not me how the hell do you know fr, and she walls off my independence like I'm 26 and not allowed to go for a walk in the dark and guilt trips me till i give in to her overprotective whims. She comments on my weight and coping mechs(food and music) at random but indulges in them herself.
She's never intentionally malicious, and ik her childhood made her adopt these behavior, so it's hard to put this label on her, and I have no idea how harmful she really is to me. I can't afford to move out tho, and I've got a system, but I'm so tired of walking on eggshells.
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hime
it is almost unbelievable how you described my mother, by far her most narcissist trait is to give sharp and very emotional comebacks to any form of criticism, everything in this house has do be done her way or no other way, she hit me countless times and choked me even, every now and then she tell stories of when i was a kid of stuff i do not remember doing, i feel as i can not talk to her about my problems, the first time i had my heart broke all she had to say was it is better this way, all the girls on your school are probably trying to fake having a baby with you and she still says that with every single relationship i have.
i can not express how much i try to bend and fold myself to not make any person slightly upset and not disagree with them, just to now realize I've nothing but a doormat: ')
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it is almost unbelievable how you described my mother, by far her most narcissist trait is to give sharp and very emotional comebacks to any form of criticism, everything in this house has do be done her way or no other way, she hit me countless times and choked me even, every now and then she tell stories of when i was a kid of stuff i do not remember doing, i feel as i can not talk to her about my problems, the first time i had my heart broke all she had to say was it is better this way, all the girls on your school are probably trying to fake having a baby with you and she still says that with every single relationship i have.
i can not express how much i try to bend and fold myself to not make any person slightly upset and not disagree with them, just to now realize I've nothing but a doormat: ')
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FlameIsExisting
Yep. Can't wait to move out. Whenever i talk about moving out my mom goes off on me on how much i will miss her etc. She says i look exactly like her, but i look like my dad. I criticize sometimes and she flips out on me. She would take my phone which is my property, that developed the habit of hiding everything. It feels like i have no privacy. She says my mental health is important yet she's the one who ruins it. My anxiety and depression stems from her and my step-father. I had anger issues as a child and she would always make it worse by screaming at me and yelling slurs. After college, I'm moving out. I feel like i have no privacy at all, and I'm forced to keep my door open at all times. Keep in mind I'm currently 18.
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Yep. Can't wait to move out. Whenever i talk about moving out my mom goes off on me on how much i will miss her etc. She says i look exactly like her, but i look like my dad. I criticize sometimes and she flips out on me. She would take my phone which is my property, that developed the habit of hiding everything. It feels like i have no privacy. She says my mental health is important yet she's the one who ruins it. My anxiety and depression stems from her and my step-father. I had anger issues as a child and she would always make it worse by screaming at me and yelling slurs. After college, I'm moving out. I feel like i have no privacy at all, and I'm forced to keep my door open at all times. Keep in mind I'm currently 18.
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PalaK
Parents can have bad behavior but only few wish bad for you.
We can learn communicate with them correctly and they do often change.
Most Parents are not pschologist they don't know the perfect recipe for your happiness but know mostly what is good for you. Narcissist parents are not like narcissist outsiders understand the diffence. Of course there can be a few who are completely self engrossed very very few.
Your parent is 95% not a narcissist self engrossed parent.
If you have problem talk to them
Or can't do that talk to a trustworthy person to talk to them. Understand parents love their children more than themselves, most live a life to make you grow up happily as much they can
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Parents can have bad behavior but only few wish bad for you.
We can learn communicate with them correctly and they do often change.
Most Parents are not pschologist they don't know the perfect recipe for your happiness but know mostly what is good for you. Narcissist parents are not like narcissist outsiders understand the diffence. Of course there can be a few who are completely self engrossed very very few.
Your parent is 95% not a narcissist self engrossed parent.
If you have problem talk to them
Or can't do that talk to a trustworthy person to talk to them. Understand parents love their children more than themselves, most live a life to make you grow up happily as much they can
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Potato
My mom is a narcissist and my dad just sat there and let her run her mouth. Shed publicly shamed/ scream at my sister even after my sister started sobbing. Even today at almost 30, I can be pretty harsh on myself, have addictive behaviors, and have low confidence, and struggle to set strong boundaries. But since last year, I finally moved out of their home and sought a therapist. It was the best decision ever. I only see my parents once or twice a month now as seeing/ talking to them can be very triggering. Whats sad is that my sister is turning out exactly like my mom, taking no accountability for her harsh actions/ words.
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My mom is a narcissist and my dad just sat there and let her run her mouth. Shed publicly shamed/ scream at my sister even after my sister started sobbing. Even today at almost 30, I can be pretty harsh on myself, have addictive behaviors, and have low confidence, and struggle to set strong boundaries. But since last year, I finally moved out of their home and sought a therapist. It was the best decision ever. I only see my parents once or twice a month now as seeing/ talking to them can be very triggering. Whats sad is that my sister is turning out exactly like my mom, taking no accountability for her harsh actions/ words.
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smolsheriff
Growing up my mom constantly told me that I always had an 'attitude' whenever I spoke up about something, felt upset, or questioned her. It made me feel like I was always in the wrong because something was wrong with me, not her. My emotions never really mattered, If I felt upset, it's my problem and she always made sure I understand hers were always worse than mine, even if it's small. I still struggle to this day questioning myself at times, but I know now with the knowledge of narcissists that it's ok to have feelings of your own and that my emotions are valid.
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Growing up my mom constantly told me that I always had an 'attitude' whenever I spoke up about something, felt upset, or questioned her. It made me feel like I was always in the wrong because something was wrong with me, not her. My emotions never really mattered, If I felt upset, it's my problem and she always made sure I understand hers were always worse than mine, even if it's small. I still struggle to this day questioning myself at times, but I know now with the knowledge of narcissists that it's ok to have feelings of your own and that my emotions are valid.
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Marcel
Unfortunately I am being raised by narcissist I have been monitord they will constantly go through my stuff thy did everything on the video and more unfortunately the trama is really getting out of hand I always get emotional abuse and some thimes Ewen fiscal abuse it is not easy to be a scapegoat in a narcissistic family if I am going to put this comment in deatel it would be too long to read the best way to cope with narcissist parints is to not take it personal I know that it is Easter sead then done but it sometimes works
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Unfortunately I am being raised by narcissist I have been monitord they will constantly go through my stuff thy did everything on the video and more unfortunately the trama is really getting out of hand I always get emotional abuse and some thimes Ewen fiscal abuse it is not easy to be a scapegoat in a narcissistic family if I am going to put this comment in deatel it would be too long to read the best way to cope with narcissist parints is to not take it personal I know that it is Easter sead then done but it sometimes works
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Nunya
My dad is very narcissistic, but I'm very lucky to have my mom and brother. As far as I can tell, I'm the only one my dad 'loves', he doesn't consider my brother his son because he is only my half-brother, and he is very emotionally abusive with my mother. But my mom has always been there with me and I've always been able to talk with her if I need to. She gives me a lot of advice for how to deal with my dad when he forces me to go places and do things with him.
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My dad is very narcissistic, but I'm very lucky to have my mom and brother. As far as I can tell, I'm the only one my dad 'loves', he doesn't consider my brother his son because he is only my half-brother, and he is very emotionally abusive with my mother. But my mom has always been there with me and I've always been able to talk with her if I need to. She gives me a lot of advice for how to deal with my dad when he forces me to go places and do things with him.
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Lala
10. The anxiety and depression and feeling unable to self soothe when anxious. And the performance anxiety and feeling like you cant live up to others expectations.
Being screamed at and belittled when you eloquently try to highlight an issue. Speaking maturely about a conflict throws them into a hate spewing rage where how dare you attack me.
Astounding hypocrisy. Its all about them and their feelings at the expense of the truth.
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10. The anxiety and depression and feeling unable to self soothe when anxious. And the performance anxiety and feeling like you cant live up to others expectations.
Being screamed at and belittled when you eloquently try to highlight an issue. Speaking maturely about a conflict throws them into a hate spewing rage where how dare you attack me.
Astounding hypocrisy. Its all about them and their feelings at the expense of the truth.
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Angelica
They said mother's know best they say Mr. Right and Mrs. Right but no that self-centered person bs stuff besides they shouldn't put a title label for a lie like that Not all parents knows best and they are not always right you see people have kids and do such a cruel thing to their children and the other hand people drained washed other people and passed on to their children to be cruel and evil as they are
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They said mother's know best they say Mr. Right and Mrs. Right but no that self-centered person bs stuff besides they shouldn't put a title label for a lie like that Not all parents knows best and they are not always right you see people have kids and do such a cruel thing to their children and the other hand people drained washed other people and passed on to their children to be cruel and evil as they are
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education
The thing is. How do you let a narcissist parent know that they're hurting you with their toxic behaviour without making them snap? It's practically Impossible to talk to my mom about stuff like this without her getting all dramatic, saying that I'm ungrateful and asking me if I'm questioning her parenting abilities. I really want things to work out between us, but I'm so tired of arguing with her.
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The thing is. How do you let a narcissist parent know that they're hurting you with their toxic behaviour without making them snap? It's practically Impossible to talk to my mom about stuff like this without her getting all dramatic, saying that I'm ungrateful and asking me if I'm questioning her parenting abilities. I really want things to work out between us, but I'm so tired of arguing with her.
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Daki_Ume
The privacy one, My mum would look through all of my things, My social media, My books. I don't have privacy, when they see a bad thing they don't like, like swearing because I was stressed they would take the upper hand. When I give them a vaild point they would be like Since when did YOU learn that! I wanted a perfect child! Not a useless child like you! They actually said that and it hurted, alot
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The privacy one, My mum would look through all of my things, My social media, My books. I don't have privacy, when they see a bad thing they don't like, like swearing because I was stressed they would take the upper hand. When I give them a vaild point they would be like Since when did YOU learn that! I wanted a perfect child! Not a useless child like you! They actually said that and it hurted, alot
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Yo
5 and 6, number 6 that did happen to me in preschool some kids walk over thinking that I'm nothing same with my parnets a little making me independent and play alone that how my preschool find out that I have autism later around 4 years old. Now I know why I hated my parents think I'm nothing around being a baby, toddler and teenager from the past now I know about the truth I'm just a broken person.
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5 and 6, number 6 that did happen to me in preschool some kids walk over thinking that I'm nothing same with my parnets a little making me independent and play alone that how my preschool find out that I have autism later around 4 years old. Now I know why I hated my parents think I'm nothing around being a baby, toddler and teenager from the past now I know about the truth I'm just a broken person.
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Beck
I knew both of my parents were narcissists before seeing this video so it didn't surprise me when all 10 signs were something they've done or said. After years of healing, I'm not afraid to say it now - I can't wait for them both to be dead. Unfortunately society still has a lot of catching up to do in terms of understanding that not all parents love their children and treat them as they should.
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I knew both of my parents were narcissists before seeing this video so it didn't surprise me when all 10 signs were something they've done or said. After years of healing, I'm not afraid to say it now - I can't wait for them both to be dead. Unfortunately society still has a lot of catching up to do in terms of understanding that not all parents love their children and treat them as they should.
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Alija
Actually I'm being raised by a narcissist parent and can't get out I'm just 15 but uk what I'm greatful for knowing my problems and solving them all by myself with the help of my lord only I'm glad that i can take every step alone never got any emotional support in my life but it's not something I'm desperate for rn cos now i handle my own healing
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Actually I'm being raised by a narcissist parent and can't get out I'm just 15 but uk what I'm greatful for knowing my problems and solving them all by myself with the help of my lord only I'm glad that i can take every step alone never got any emotional support in my life but it's not something I'm desperate for rn cos now i handle my own healing
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Wearing
I never had low self esteem but she sure tried to make me feel like I wasnt at my best. She would ask me to be like my girlfriend not knowing that she got pregnant twice by the age 14. I felt relief when I got the perfect chance to throw it in her face. She never used that line again, instead she tried to sleep with my boyfriend. NO CONTACT!
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I never had low self esteem but she sure tried to make me feel like I wasnt at my best. She would ask me to be like my girlfriend not knowing that she got pregnant twice by the age 14. I felt relief when I got the perfect chance to throw it in her face. She never used that line again, instead she tried to sleep with my boyfriend. NO CONTACT!
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Kid
All except 7. They just didn't care. I waa the black sheep, as the head narcissist attempted to kill me. I know how that sounds, but its true. The worse part of it, nobody even confronted her. By the time i realized what they were, my money was gone, nobody in my family, or even close friends would speak to me. How isn't gaslighting slander?
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All except 7. They just didn't care. I waa the black sheep, as the head narcissist attempted to kill me. I know how that sounds, but its true. The worse part of it, nobody even confronted her. By the time i realized what they were, my money was gone, nobody in my family, or even close friends would speak to me. How isn't gaslighting slander?
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Jordana
My therapist last night pointed out my parents narcissistic tendencies, and recommended I watch this video. Hes spot on, and so is this video. A parent calling a child bipolar because they show emotions and set boundaries, is wrong. Reading their journal, wrong. Taking their door, wrong.
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My therapist last night pointed out my parents narcissistic tendencies, and recommended I watch this video. Hes spot on, and so is this video. A parent calling a child bipolar because they show emotions and set boundaries, is wrong. Reading their journal, wrong. Taking their door, wrong.
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education
Recently went no contact with my father hes the biggest d-bag EVER. last straw was when he made me homeless on my birthday. Long story, dont feel like sharing it but no contact anymore im so done now hes breadcruming me with money. Blocked blocked and blocked. Im done with his sh! t
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Recently went no contact with my father hes the biggest d-bag EVER. last straw was when he made me homeless on my birthday. Long story, dont feel like sharing it but no contact anymore im so done now hes breadcruming me with money. Blocked blocked and blocked. Im done with his sh! t
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Taceria
Has anyone ever experienced the troublesome childhood where they have problems with complimenting themselves that's me when I make a little mistake I insult myself as a way to learn from my mistakes and say, come on man your as worthless as thator, have you ever dreamed to fail like
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Has anyone ever experienced the troublesome childhood where they have problems with complimenting themselves that's me when I make a little mistake I insult myself as a way to learn from my mistakes and say, come on man your as worthless as thator, have you ever dreamed to fail like
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MissPrettyN'Pink
My mom is and when I say draining. Even now she will say she wants to get together but I have made plans for the last three holidays she says she is busy. But she was the main one wanting me to come over. It hurts to constantly have a parent hurt you even at my age
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My mom is and when I say draining. Even now she will say she wants to get together but I have made plans for the last three holidays she says she is busy. But she was the main one wanting me to come over. It hurts to constantly have a parent hurt you even at my age
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