7 Signs You Have A Fear of Intimacy
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Kendall
For me, I tend to not fear intimacy when I manifest it in my mind. But once it's being pulled into reality, I retract. Not mainly because I view myself as inadequate (which plays a major part; especially because I do not fit society standard) but also because I will never allow myself to be gullible, and that mentality has backfired on me. I was toyed with and used, abused. I feel that also, I do not want to be waited on, to be an obstacle in the pit of someone elses desire and want. This crippling self-esteem and anxiety doesnt alwasy make forefront so quickly. I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, no doubt of it. (childhood trauma was associated with the utilization of MD to distract from painful memories. A history of childhood physical and emotional neglect as well as emotional abuse was associated with daydreaming aimed to regulate emotional pain. also, the excessive ability of daydreaming; sometimes interfering with everyday life) Which causes me to, again mainfest the story I want in my mind but. that ever happens, or I mess up even in my own mind and I fear doing that in reality. I cannot help that in my mind I view it as something I long for every day, to be loved unconditionally, for someone to cook me dinner, to kiss my head and cuddle me into a firey temperature. but in the physcial world, it's too vulnerable for me to process and cope with. And to bring it up, coagulates another fear, of being laughed at and not recognized. Of being left. Of that man (especially, I fear male intimacy. To an extent I'm not hopeless) to move on so quicly to someone more adequate, pretty and giving than I was. Though, I have begun to ignore the lump in my chest and the rotating black pit in my stomach because my mind knows better, it is still a task to get right everytime. Honestly, I can't even be in the same room [sometimes] as someone of that high horse without my watch telling me I've picked up an irregular heart rhythm. I do not wish for this curse on anyone, because watching relationships thrive outside of myself is so antagonizing to watch because of how desperatly my mind, heart and soul want it but how badly my body pushes it away. I believe, it is a safety reaction; that my body says this isn't safe even when I know it is.
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For me, I tend to not fear intimacy when I manifest it in my mind. But once it's being pulled into reality, I retract. Not mainly because I view myself as inadequate (which plays a major part; especially because I do not fit society standard) but also because I will never allow myself to be gullible, and that mentality has backfired on me. I was toyed with and used, abused. I feel that also, I do not want to be waited on, to be an obstacle in the pit of someone elses desire and want. This crippling self-esteem and anxiety doesnt alwasy make forefront so quickly. I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, no doubt of it. (childhood trauma was associated with the utilization of MD to distract from painful memories. A history of childhood physical and emotional neglect as well as emotional abuse was associated with daydreaming aimed to regulate emotional pain. also, the excessive ability of daydreaming; sometimes interfering with everyday life) Which causes me to, again mainfest the story I want in my mind but. that ever happens, or I mess up even in my own mind and I fear doing that in reality. I cannot help that in my mind I view it as something I long for every day, to be loved unconditionally, for someone to cook me dinner, to kiss my head and cuddle me into a firey temperature. but in the physcial world, it's too vulnerable for me to process and cope with. And to bring it up, coagulates another fear, of being laughed at and not recognized. Of being left. Of that man (especially, I fear male intimacy. To an extent I'm not hopeless) to move on so quicly to someone more adequate, pretty and giving than I was. Though, I have begun to ignore the lump in my chest and the rotating black pit in my stomach because my mind knows better, it is still a task to get right everytime. Honestly, I can't even be in the same room [sometimes] as someone of that high horse without my watch telling me I've picked up an irregular heart rhythm. I do not wish for this curse on anyone, because watching relationships thrive outside of myself is so antagonizing to watch because of how desperatly my mind, heart and soul want it but how badly my body pushes it away. I believe, it is a safety reaction; that my body says this isn't safe even when I know it is.
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MarzTunes
I've been in and out of relationships for the past 3 years. It's very hard for me to have in person relationships because intimacy scares me, so I decided to try online relationships. Of course they never worked out and it sucked because I tried so many different things including ghosting a partner, saying I like someone else, etc. I finally in January was asked out by someone in person and I said yes because I like them, we're supposed to kiss soon and I'm very nervous it might ruin things because of my fear. (This would be both of our first kisses, we've both never kissed anyone) I still want to try to kiss them because I love them and I want to get over my fear
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I've been in and out of relationships for the past 3 years. It's very hard for me to have in person relationships because intimacy scares me, so I decided to try online relationships. Of course they never worked out and it sucked because I tried so many different things including ghosting a partner, saying I like someone else, etc. I finally in January was asked out by someone in person and I said yes because I like them, we're supposed to kiss soon and I'm very nervous it might ruin things because of my fear. (This would be both of our first kisses, we've both never kissed anyone) I still want to try to kiss them because I love them and I want to get over my fear
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Dani
Yep. I was able to ruin any potential real relationship and chase after the emotionally unavailable ones. I get that disgusting feeling when someone gets too close and shows how much they actually care about me, but never thought it was actually my fault. Years of therapy but still find that same pattern happening to this day. I always want what I cant have, despite them making it clear they are not interested in a relationship, I get this idea that they will change for me. They never do. And here I am, mid 30s and countless heartbreaks due to my own sick mind. I really want a partner. But I dont think anyone really deserves me unless I fight for it. I hate that.
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Yep. I was able to ruin any potential real relationship and chase after the emotionally unavailable ones. I get that disgusting feeling when someone gets too close and shows how much they actually care about me, but never thought it was actually my fault. Years of therapy but still find that same pattern happening to this day. I always want what I cant have, despite them making it clear they are not interested in a relationship, I get this idea that they will change for me. They never do. And here I am, mid 30s and countless heartbreaks due to my own sick mind. I really want a partner. But I dont think anyone really deserves me unless I fight for it. I hate that.
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Mr.
Most of what's in the video applies to me. My father stopped caring about me, after I graduated high school. He set me up for a bunch of failed promises. I want that beautiful blonde (never got it. All the wrong ones have fallen for me, especially since I moved to my current place (6 years ago. I understand how I attracted alternative women (i. e. high intelligence, interests- history, sciences, etc. I have been trying to dumb myself down. I don't want to end up with a someone that looks like a vampire. I've learned that alternative men and women are absolute romantics. How can I repel them away from me? How can keep dumbing myself down?
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Most of what's in the video applies to me. My father stopped caring about me, after I graduated high school. He set me up for a bunch of failed promises. I want that beautiful blonde (never got it. All the wrong ones have fallen for me, especially since I moved to my current place (6 years ago. I understand how I attracted alternative women (i. e. high intelligence, interests- history, sciences, etc. I have been trying to dumb myself down. I don't want to end up with a someone that looks like a vampire. I've learned that alternative men and women are absolute romantics. How can I repel them away from me? How can keep dumbing myself down?
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Rose
I've only just started to realise the roots of my social anxiety and fear of intimacy - problem is, I'm also at the stage where I've sabotaged or ended enough potential relationships that I've convinced myself I'm better off alone so as to avoid getting hurt. Doesn't help that the only two guys I've ever been really interested in, and then have expressed that interest to, have rejected me. That's also partly my fault though because I'll indirectly insinuate that I'm interested and then don't know how to show it verbally or physically, which probably comes across as a mixed signal
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I've only just started to realise the roots of my social anxiety and fear of intimacy - problem is, I'm also at the stage where I've sabotaged or ended enough potential relationships that I've convinced myself I'm better off alone so as to avoid getting hurt. Doesn't help that the only two guys I've ever been really interested in, and then have expressed that interest to, have rejected me. That's also partly my fault though because I'll indirectly insinuate that I'm interested and then don't know how to show it verbally or physically, which probably comes across as a mixed signal
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XXXTENTATION
I can't make friends I can't date someone and I can't be happy. I'm always scared of being abandoned and I even did nightmares of it. Probably because I've lost a lot of friends literally each year of my life, I'm scared of being rejected, so I also have A BIG social anxiety. I don't feel ok if I'm to close to someone even some people of my family. Because of this I used to have a lot of depression. But thanks for making me realized what's really happening.
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I can't make friends I can't date someone and I can't be happy. I'm always scared of being abandoned and I even did nightmares of it. Probably because I've lost a lot of friends literally each year of my life, I'm scared of being rejected, so I also have A BIG social anxiety. I don't feel ok if I'm to close to someone even some people of my family. Because of this I used to have a lot of depression. But thanks for making me realized what's really happening.
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Audrey
I don't let anyone close because one issue I have had most of my life is trust. I don't just trust on blind faith. I need proof. Independence, I feel isn't so bad. Your feelings, emotions & reactions those feelings and emotions are the individuals only. I also learned the hard way that not all friends want to see the true you. That is why when I do get overwhelmed, I have to isolate myself to be able to have a sense of peace.
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I don't let anyone close because one issue I have had most of my life is trust. I don't just trust on blind faith. I need proof. Independence, I feel isn't so bad. Your feelings, emotions & reactions those feelings and emotions are the individuals only. I also learned the hard way that not all friends want to see the true you. That is why when I do get overwhelmed, I have to isolate myself to be able to have a sense of peace.
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Vanessa
It's easy to have a fear of intimacy when the older you get the more disappointing people keep getting. I'm so sick of just everyone I meet being so selfish, entitled, judgmental, and just plain rude! I have even recently been considering dropping out of a group of friends because the group has just become extremely toxic, and it feels like I'm not even allowed to have a slightly differing opinion.
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It's easy to have a fear of intimacy when the older you get the more disappointing people keep getting. I'm so sick of just everyone I meet being so selfish, entitled, judgmental, and just plain rude! I have even recently been considering dropping out of a group of friends because the group has just become extremely toxic, and it feels like I'm not even allowed to have a slightly differing opinion.
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Penetrical
I have intimacy and so is one of my friend I throw a lot of work into myself and I have this disgusted feeling whenever having a conversation with that friend and since she doesn't open up it makes me feel abandoned and ignored I have always wanted to tell her how I feel around her but I have a fear of breaking the friendship even though we are not close
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I have intimacy and so is one of my friend I throw a lot of work into myself and I have this disgusted feeling whenever having a conversation with that friend and since she doesn't open up it makes me feel abandoned and ignored I have always wanted to tell her how I feel around her but I have a fear of breaking the friendship even though we are not close
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Travelling
Some of it relates. I am independent but will accept help if I need it. I just get annoyed when people assume I cant possibly cope and try to take over. I tend to fall pretty hard for the wrong people and cant see them for who they really are until its too late. I am a perfectionist but find it very hard to accept compliments.
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Some of it relates. I am independent but will accept help if I need it. I just get annoyed when people assume I cant possibly cope and try to take over. I tend to fall pretty hard for the wrong people and cant see them for who they really are until its too late. I am a perfectionist but find it very hard to accept compliments.
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_MB_93
For anyone who's feeling this way, please stop getting into new relationship, or stop sabotaging your current one. I recently got involved with a girl like that and it was the worst thing that happened to me in years.
Start researching about Attachment Theory, and work yourself toward a more Secure tendency!
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For anyone who's feeling this way, please stop getting into new relationship, or stop sabotaging your current one. I recently got involved with a girl like that and it was the worst thing that happened to me in years.
Start researching about Attachment Theory, and work yourself toward a more Secure tendency!
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Kazi
Yes yes. Yes they do. I can relate to this so much. I lost my father at a young age, the lost my grand mother and my uncle in the later years. I think these played a big role. Also when I was young, I remember, when I used to get sad or cry, I did it by myself. In front of nobody else.
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Yes yes. Yes they do. I can relate to this so much. I lost my father at a young age, the lost my grand mother and my uncle in the later years. I think these played a big role. Also when I was young, I remember, when I used to get sad or cry, I did it by myself. In front of nobody else.
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Zin
Im okay with my relationship but I have fear of intimacy with stranger. Its weird. Like: if a waiter served me very nicely, I become very uncomfortable and want to run away. If a teacher notices me and cares about me in the classroom, I feel uncomfortable even though I want it.
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Im okay with my relationship but I have fear of intimacy with stranger. Its weird. Like: if a waiter served me very nicely, I become very uncomfortable and want to run away. If a teacher notices me and cares about me in the classroom, I feel uncomfortable even though I want it.
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Yehoshua
I just hate putting my emotions and memories into someone who can easily deceive me whether that be through manipulation or self interested goals and because of it, I tend to let go or choose to let them go because giving a chance can hurt me 2x more
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I just hate putting my emotions and memories into someone who can easily deceive me whether that be through manipulation or self interested goals and because of it, I tend to let go or choose to let them go because giving a chance can hurt me 2x more
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Shan
I'm glad none of those things have to do with love or happiness as to do a lot with a relationship first you have to be happy with yourself and know what real happiness is and love works with two people are not just have a great day
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I'm glad none of those things have to do with love or happiness as to do a lot with a relationship first you have to be happy with yourself and know what real happiness is and love works with two people are not just have a great day
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Karina
why am i so good at my friendships but so awful with relationships such as intimacy. im not flaky, distant, etc with friends but 100% that way when people are interested and even when im interested in them: (
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why am i so good at my friendships but so awful with relationships such as intimacy. im not flaky, distant, etc with friends but 100% that way when people are interested and even when im interested in them: (
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2basick
bro this is mostly me, except i am scared to even make friends because i feel i was betrayed and it hurt like hell. so i don't want to get close and also i see people's red flags and cut them off quickly
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bro this is mostly me, except i am scared to even make friends because i feel i was betrayed and it hurt like hell. so i don't want to get close and also i see people's red flags and cut them off quickly
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Andrew
Ive learned to say, Get Away From Me and I absolutely do not care how good looking or anything who they are, because? Theyre shallow and I love reading character in people and I can see it in their eyes
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Ive learned to say, Get Away From Me and I absolutely do not care how good looking or anything who they are, because? Theyre shallow and I love reading character in people and I can see it in their eyes
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Kay
I am involved in coaching classes. One of the books we are using is Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson. It is help me to understand my inner dynamics. It may be helpful to others.
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I am involved in coaching classes. One of the books we are using is Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson. It is help me to understand my inner dynamics. It may be helpful to others.
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Andrew
I love the ladies, but? I read character quickly than most and easily I get completely annoyed and agitated in common simple mistakes because they dont learn and never will
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I love the ladies, but? I read character quickly than most and easily I get completely annoyed and agitated in common simple mistakes because they dont learn and never will
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EVANDER
anyone else on here trying to help their gf how to love? :( this video is a perfect description of her. asking God daily how I can help her to recieve my Love
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anyone else on here trying to help their gf how to love? :( this video is a perfect description of her. asking God daily how I can help her to recieve my Love
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Oo
Me and my ex both tick a lot of those boxes! I'm working through my trauma with a fantastic therapist now. And I sincerely hope that he does one day, too.
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Me and my ex both tick a lot of those boxes! I'm working through my trauma with a fantastic therapist now. And I sincerely hope that he does one day, too.
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Blah
Don't need to watch this video for that I already knew, I'm working on it but tbh it feels like an uphill fight.
I mean how do I fix this?
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Don't need to watch this video for that I already knew, I'm working on it but tbh it feels like an uphill fight.
I mean how do I fix this?
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zubnasty
Sorry I cant trust women who emphasise $ in everything they say xD Ill take my chances losing that opportunity to be abused lol xD
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Sorry I cant trust women who emphasise $ in everything they say xD Ill take my chances losing that opportunity to be abused lol xD
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Detta
I knew I had intimacy issues before watching the video tbh and Im trying to change but sometimes I fall back into my old patterns
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I knew I had intimacy issues before watching the video tbh and Im trying to change but sometimes I fall back into my old patterns
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