6 Signs You're Living in a TOXIC Environment
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 25
ItsCaduceus
Im 23 and live in a toxic environment. It took me years to realize what my family was like was not how a family should be; specifically, my mother. Growing up I was constantly compared to my siblings, my friends were trash-talked about, I was not allowed to cut my hair or change my clothing style, I had to take certain classes, and I had to follow a certain career path laid out for me. If these were occurring on their own, it would be easy to see that its toxic, but my mother made it difficult. She would buy me gifts, take me on trips, etc, but each time was paired with her telling me reasons I should be grateful. Any time I told her I was upset, I was mocked. Or guilt-tripped. Or she told me I was ungrateful, or that she was a terrible mother, or that I was disrespectful. And I believed her. For years I believed I was a terrible person, that I was hurting my family I still think that. I still believe my family would be better without me, and that Im a selfish, manipulative abuser but. Im working on getting better; if it means overcoming an incorrect image of myself, or if it means amending my bad behaviour. Im getting help and treatment now. And Ill be moving out of the family home soon.
Heres to escaping toxic environments; if you read through all this, and youre in a toxic environment, just know you can get out. And its okay to accept help, even if you think you dont need it. You got this. Good luck!
reply
Im 23 and live in a toxic environment. It took me years to realize what my family was like was not how a family should be; specifically, my mother. Growing up I was constantly compared to my siblings, my friends were trash-talked about, I was not allowed to cut my hair or change my clothing style, I had to take certain classes, and I had to follow a certain career path laid out for me. If these were occurring on their own, it would be easy to see that its toxic, but my mother made it difficult. She would buy me gifts, take me on trips, etc, but each time was paired with her telling me reasons I should be grateful. Any time I told her I was upset, I was mocked. Or guilt-tripped. Or she told me I was ungrateful, or that she was a terrible mother, or that I was disrespectful. And I believed her. For years I believed I was a terrible person, that I was hurting my family I still think that. I still believe my family would be better without me, and that Im a selfish, manipulative abuser but. Im working on getting better; if it means overcoming an incorrect image of myself, or if it means amending my bad behaviour. Im getting help and treatment now. And Ill be moving out of the family home soon.
Heres to escaping toxic environments; if you read through all this, and youre in a toxic environment, just know you can get out. And its okay to accept help, even if you think you dont need it. You got this. Good luck!
reply
Spirit
well, i tryed talk with they but they never understand and always tells me on my face that you're crazy, what a hell you're talking about, are you telling us to look ourselves because we messed up with you, look what you done, etc they even got my phone without my permission when i got sick i had a anxiety atack i got really sick then my mom asked for my phone to send a message to my gf, but she haven't done, she scrolled all my phone, saw absolutely everything and she told to my dad, now my phone is 100% secure against them because i don't trust them, one of my brothers is like a demon, everything bad happened here he planned everything because he knows my parents will never touch on him, they always gaslight me, never accept their own fault, everything you can imagine, but now i'm happy and ready to fly away and live my own life without them, this toxic behavior hehehe, i love meet new places, discover and is this i'm doing now
reply
well, i tryed talk with they but they never understand and always tells me on my face that you're crazy, what a hell you're talking about, are you telling us to look ourselves because we messed up with you, look what you done, etc they even got my phone without my permission when i got sick i had a anxiety atack i got really sick then my mom asked for my phone to send a message to my gf, but she haven't done, she scrolled all my phone, saw absolutely everything and she told to my dad, now my phone is 100% secure against them because i don't trust them, one of my brothers is like a demon, everything bad happened here he planned everything because he knows my parents will never touch on him, they always gaslight me, never accept their own fault, everything you can imagine, but now i'm happy and ready to fly away and live my own life without them, this toxic behavior hehehe, i love meet new places, discover and is this i'm doing now
reply
Gippuccino
Welp, for yall who dont really know, unfortunately, there are other ways of being toxic to, not only kids, but also people around them, Ill just say one that I know from experience:
- Forcing their beliefs and truths onto other people - To put it simply, the person constantly makes points that you can either agree or not and if you dont theyll either force it subtly to you or shove it straight into your face, its pretty toxic and also bad. They dont give you the liberty to think nor act differently than them, because they think that their world view is the standard and that anyone that contradicts it is wrong.
Another thing that is unfortunate is that some, or most, of the times the toxic people dont know theyre toxic, so its even more difficult if youd ever try to help them realize it, since theyre either unaware or just dont want to change, at all: (
Also, pardon my english, not my first language u
reply
Welp, for yall who dont really know, unfortunately, there are other ways of being toxic to, not only kids, but also people around them, Ill just say one that I know from experience:
- Forcing their beliefs and truths onto other people - To put it simply, the person constantly makes points that you can either agree or not and if you dont theyll either force it subtly to you or shove it straight into your face, its pretty toxic and also bad. They dont give you the liberty to think nor act differently than them, because they think that their world view is the standard and that anyone that contradicts it is wrong.
Another thing that is unfortunate is that some, or most, of the times the toxic people dont know theyre toxic, so its even more difficult if youd ever try to help them realize it, since theyre either unaware or just dont want to change, at all: (
Also, pardon my english, not my first language u
reply
Emily
My grandpa is the one who is raising me and he's not really trying to be toxic but it's a toxic environment nonetheless because he is disabled and I'm the one really taking care of him (besides a home health worker) I am also only 15 so I am in high school and it is very difficult and some days I can hardly get out of bed. I'm also bi and have to listen to his homophobic comments and how I need to get a boyfriend and just being homophobic in general. On top of that my sister who is 26 and my cousin except me to keep the house spotless and to provide my grandpa with nurse level care which I shouldn't have to be doing. My sister also doesn't understand boundaries and is pretty unreliable and yells at me a lot but she is also basically like my mom or the closest to it. Anyway yeah just wanted to rant abt this since I don't think I can actually talk to anyone abt it irl lol
reply
My grandpa is the one who is raising me and he's not really trying to be toxic but it's a toxic environment nonetheless because he is disabled and I'm the one really taking care of him (besides a home health worker) I am also only 15 so I am in high school and it is very difficult and some days I can hardly get out of bed. I'm also bi and have to listen to his homophobic comments and how I need to get a boyfriend and just being homophobic in general. On top of that my sister who is 26 and my cousin except me to keep the house spotless and to provide my grandpa with nurse level care which I shouldn't have to be doing. My sister also doesn't understand boundaries and is pretty unreliable and yells at me a lot but she is also basically like my mom or the closest to it. Anyway yeah just wanted to rant abt this since I don't think I can actually talk to anyone abt it irl lol
reply
Wendy
I grew up in a patently non-toxic environment! My mom's family is huge, and whileseveral of her siblings are doctors, nurses, or educators, and several of my cousins are lawyers, each of us was encouraged in our own interests and personalities. My mom's dad, according to her mom, always wanted to be a shepherder, and he ran an 85-acre ranch, worked with the highway department, and later at a juvenile facility (where my grandma, who earned her Masters degree in her 70s, taught English at about the same time. Once my mom made a cake and forgot the sugar; when he ate it he said, It's very good. Next time you might want to add some sugar. I was raised with similar encouragement, with my dad always suggesting ways to improve and my mom pointing out that I was fine whether anything changed or not.
reply
I grew up in a patently non-toxic environment! My mom's family is huge, and whileseveral of her siblings are doctors, nurses, or educators, and several of my cousins are lawyers, each of us was encouraged in our own interests and personalities. My mom's dad, according to her mom, always wanted to be a shepherder, and he ran an 85-acre ranch, worked with the highway department, and later at a juvenile facility (where my grandma, who earned her Masters degree in her 70s, taught English at about the same time. Once my mom made a cake and forgot the sugar; when he ate it he said, It's very good. Next time you might want to add some sugar. I was raised with similar encouragement, with my dad always suggesting ways to improve and my mom pointing out that I was fine whether anything changed or not.
reply
JOYS
I need some advice. My only distraction that I learned to like, which is my computer and videogames on that computer, has been completely taken from me. What do I mean by this? I mean I still have my computer and it used to be my safe space to distract myself, however my parent has put up a camera facing it to watch everything. They said it was just so they can test to see if the camera is broken because it wasn't working outside.
Now I'm left with anxiety all of the time inside the house because there is cameras everywhere. As you mentioned, I set my boundaries I tried to converse with them but they always end up changing it into something completely different. What can I do? My mental health has taken a toll and it's starting to affect my daily life at my house
reply
I need some advice. My only distraction that I learned to like, which is my computer and videogames on that computer, has been completely taken from me. What do I mean by this? I mean I still have my computer and it used to be my safe space to distract myself, however my parent has put up a camera facing it to watch everything. They said it was just so they can test to see if the camera is broken because it wasn't working outside.
Now I'm left with anxiety all of the time inside the house because there is cameras everywhere. As you mentioned, I set my boundaries I tried to converse with them but they always end up changing it into something completely different. What can I do? My mental health has taken a toll and it's starting to affect my daily life at my house
reply
ashton
ok so story time
me and a friend of mines tried running away because we both lived in a toxic household. we got caught though. while we were in my friends dad's car, he told my friend, and i quote: There is no reason for you to run away. You were raised by your mother and I. We made you happy. I bet it was your friend here. She dragged you into this. She disgusts me. You can't be her friend anymore or else I will disown you. and ofc i got mad and said to him Maybe if you realized how toxic you were and tried to change, she wouldnt have ran away. and then i got hit by my friends dad. it didnt help with my mom and dad taking away all the things that comfort me for a whole month so ye
reply
ok so story time
me and a friend of mines tried running away because we both lived in a toxic household. we got caught though. while we were in my friends dad's car, he told my friend, and i quote: There is no reason for you to run away. You were raised by your mother and I. We made you happy. I bet it was your friend here. She dragged you into this. She disgusts me. You can't be her friend anymore or else I will disown you. and ofc i got mad and said to him Maybe if you realized how toxic you were and tried to change, she wouldnt have ran away. and then i got hit by my friends dad. it didnt help with my mom and dad taking away all the things that comfort me for a whole month so ye
reply
lac92576
My mom always belittled my job choices, telling a relative that I have no future in said job, yet she always asked for money (rarely ever paying me back. My parents never treated me like an adult, even now at 46, they need to know my every move Its to the point that I feel the need to lie to them when I want to sleep over at my bfs place - long story short, I left an abusive marriage and moved back home with my kids; then I started dating a man 7 months ago who treats me well and makes me happy. My dad is super judgemental and will 100% complain about it to my mom. Its a very twisted and ridiculous situation, and I cannot wait to move out and finally have some peace!
reply
My mom always belittled my job choices, telling a relative that I have no future in said job, yet she always asked for money (rarely ever paying me back. My parents never treated me like an adult, even now at 46, they need to know my every move Its to the point that I feel the need to lie to them when I want to sleep over at my bfs place - long story short, I left an abusive marriage and moved back home with my kids; then I started dating a man 7 months ago who treats me well and makes me happy. My dad is super judgemental and will 100% complain about it to my mom. Its a very twisted and ridiculous situation, and I cannot wait to move out and finally have some peace!
reply
INFP
Honestly. I'm in tears right now. I only have 1 family and knowing that I literally have each and every one of these things going on in my home hurts so much. if you are familiar with the Myers Briggs Personality Types. My mother is an ENTJ. and my brother is an ESTJ. both of them scare me so much and are difficult to please. especially my mom. every word she says to me is screamed at me and are hurtful words. sometimes I wish they would leave me be or dissappear but I know that I don't REALLY want that. because regardless I love them and as toxic as our relationship is. I couldn't imagine a world without them.
- ISFJ. 2w1
reply
Honestly. I'm in tears right now. I only have 1 family and knowing that I literally have each and every one of these things going on in my home hurts so much. if you are familiar with the Myers Briggs Personality Types. My mother is an ENTJ. and my brother is an ESTJ. both of them scare me so much and are difficult to please. especially my mom. every word she says to me is screamed at me and are hurtful words. sometimes I wish they would leave me be or dissappear but I know that I don't REALLY want that. because regardless I love them and as toxic as our relationship is. I couldn't imagine a world without them.
- ISFJ. 2w1
reply
education
I grew up in the same atmosphere and now an year ago I saw my landlord treating her 14 year old daughter same as I was treated so I talked to the child and she was so upset that she cried an ocean in front of me and when the parents found out that she's openly sharing the problems her parents cause her with me they asked me to leave my apartment and scolded that little child a lot because they think she was talking behind her back I wonder how she is?
I hope she's happy and move away from her toxic parents as quickly as possible I can truly understand her because I have been raised up in the same way as she is now
reply
I grew up in the same atmosphere and now an year ago I saw my landlord treating her 14 year old daughter same as I was treated so I talked to the child and she was so upset that she cried an ocean in front of me and when the parents found out that she's openly sharing the problems her parents cause her with me they asked me to leave my apartment and scolded that little child a lot because they think she was talking behind her back I wonder how she is?
I hope she's happy and move away from her toxic parents as quickly as possible I can truly understand her because I have been raised up in the same way as she is now
reply
fabulous
My dad: my dad used to beat us with a belt, the older kids got it worse but everyone prob got hit some point
Both my parents: smack us anyway? One time mum choked me and she denies it ever happened or just says well I must have been rly annoyed. Another time on holiday w our uncle and his family, I'd done something wrong and was tying my shoelaces so my dad kicked me and I hit my head on the wall (not that hard, I think.
I don't remember much of my childhood but I get flashes sometimes, and it's sad that I have those memories and not happier ones
reply
My dad: my dad used to beat us with a belt, the older kids got it worse but everyone prob got hit some point
Both my parents: smack us anyway? One time mum choked me and she denies it ever happened or just says well I must have been rly annoyed. Another time on holiday w our uncle and his family, I'd done something wrong and was tying my shoelaces so my dad kicked me and I hit my head on the wall (not that hard, I think.
I don't remember much of my childhood but I get flashes sometimes, and it's sad that I have those memories and not happier ones
reply
Fang
I remember when i failed my math final as a kid i came home to my room just a matress on the floor and a math textbook i was made to work outside allday during daylight hours and then read the math book at night i wasnot allowed to eat with the family i was only given the leftover scraps from their dinner and was even locked outside while they went to the zoo in the middle of summer in texas with no food or water last thing i remember was waking up in my neighbors living room i really wish i had had the nerve to call cps back then
reply
I remember when i failed my math final as a kid i came home to my room just a matress on the floor and a math textbook i was made to work outside allday during daylight hours and then read the math book at night i wasnot allowed to eat with the family i was only given the leftover scraps from their dinner and was even locked outside while they went to the zoo in the middle of summer in texas with no food or water last thing i remember was waking up in my neighbors living room i really wish i had had the nerve to call cps back then
reply
Breanna
What happens when you express that the things your family says hurts you and they tell you to suck it up? Or they get mad at you for being the way you are? Im 28 and I still live with my parents I havent the entire time. Anyways how do I go about that whenever I try to express my feelings my dad gets really angry and starts breaking things and getting in our faces and starts being kind of abusive. I dont know how to get out of this situation now because Im an adult so when I call for help they just send me back to my parents
reply
What happens when you express that the things your family says hurts you and they tell you to suck it up? Or they get mad at you for being the way you are? Im 28 and I still live with my parents I havent the entire time. Anyways how do I go about that whenever I try to express my feelings my dad gets really angry and starts breaking things and getting in our faces and starts being kind of abusive. I dont know how to get out of this situation now because Im an adult so when I call for help they just send me back to my parents
reply
Matt
my family is somewhat similar but I understand why they're doing it, Im not close to any of my family members so it kinda makes a lot of things awkward when it comes to communicating with each other and getting to know better. But the only thing that makes me tick is how they're so sure that they understand me so well and accuses me of something or feeling angry towards my parents. I dont hate anybody or actually care too much of them but that doesnt mean I dont appreciate for having a roof over my head and everything.
reply
my family is somewhat similar but I understand why they're doing it, Im not close to any of my family members so it kinda makes a lot of things awkward when it comes to communicating with each other and getting to know better. But the only thing that makes me tick is how they're so sure that they understand me so well and accuses me of something or feeling angry towards my parents. I dont hate anybody or actually care too much of them but that doesnt mean I dont appreciate for having a roof over my head and everything.
reply
Nivedita
My family is the same. My mom and dad were divorced. I have lived with my mom and grandpa. My mom died 6 years ago. My grandpa is very toxic. I have seen him like this since my childhood. I'm an adult but I don't even have the freedom to eat my favorite food at home. He doesn't let me go my friends places and doesn't let them come to meet me at home. He is very dominating.
He doesn't care about my opinion. Doesn't approve what I want to do in my life. Always makes fun of my ideas and thoughts.
reply
My family is the same. My mom and dad were divorced. I have lived with my mom and grandpa. My mom died 6 years ago. My grandpa is very toxic. I have seen him like this since my childhood. I'm an adult but I don't even have the freedom to eat my favorite food at home. He doesn't let me go my friends places and doesn't let them come to meet me at home. He is very dominating.
He doesn't care about my opinion. Doesn't approve what I want to do in my life. Always makes fun of my ideas and thoughts.
reply
Alexi0s
My bestfriend has an abusive dad he use to hit her with a dustpan and actually this year gave her a bloody nose she excused it by saying he didnt hit her hard but Im still worried for her yknow? Plus hes really strict and banned her from horse riding after she broke her arm which can happen even if youre careful being a riding instructor is her dream but she cant do what she loves EVEN THOUGH THE REST OF HER FAMILY GREW GETS TO GO RIDING DOING WHAT SHE LOVES AFTER SHE BROUGHT IT UP!
reply
My bestfriend has an abusive dad he use to hit her with a dustpan and actually this year gave her a bloody nose she excused it by saying he didnt hit her hard but Im still worried for her yknow? Plus hes really strict and banned her from horse riding after she broke her arm which can happen even if youre careful being a riding instructor is her dream but she cant do what she loves EVEN THOUGH THE REST OF HER FAMILY GREW GETS TO GO RIDING DOING WHAT SHE LOVES AFTER SHE BROUGHT IT UP!
reply
Kimly
One common sign is that you cant be who youre.
I spent most of the time hardworking not just for the grade but also to learn from every perspective in life.
Its obsolete to say that people will connect together when theyre dependent too much on others.
However, everyone has their own choice to live their lives.
Who could blame them when they either spend their time studying hard or playing hard. Just let them be.
reply
One common sign is that you cant be who youre.
I spent most of the time hardworking not just for the grade but also to learn from every perspective in life.
Its obsolete to say that people will connect together when theyre dependent too much on others.
However, everyone has their own choice to live their lives.
Who could blame them when they either spend their time studying hard or playing hard. Just let them be.
reply
INFP
When I was little. all of these things happened to me. Especially all of the emotional abuse.
I remember when my nana died and my mom would emotionally abuse me every time I cried about it and call be the b word. I remember shutting myself in the closet to hide from her and would cry myself to sleep. for years. well anyway. I had great friends that helped me so it is all in the past
reply
When I was little. all of these things happened to me. Especially all of the emotional abuse.
I remember when my nana died and my mom would emotionally abuse me every time I cried about it and call be the b word. I remember shutting myself in the closet to hide from her and would cry myself to sleep. for years. well anyway. I had great friends that helped me so it is all in the past
reply
SHAY
One time my dad did something to my brother (he was in kindergarten at the time)that caused a bruise on his face. The bruise was caused out of my dad anger. The next day, my dad used my mom make-up to hide the bruise so the teachers and the students don't question what happened. Honestly, I felt really bad for my brother and I still do. The bruise is still on his face till this day.
reply
One time my dad did something to my brother (he was in kindergarten at the time)that caused a bruise on his face. The bruise was caused out of my dad anger. The next day, my dad used my mom make-up to hide the bruise so the teachers and the students don't question what happened. Honestly, I felt really bad for my brother and I still do. The bruise is still on his face till this day.
reply
Jonathan
As someone whose paternal side of the family checks a lot of these boxes, I speculate but can't confirm if the factors around my Caribbean descent might explain why they are so fine with it. Or in other words, does the colonial past of Jamaica have something to do with why my dad is so harsh and he'll only respond that at least he'snot as harsh as his parents?
reply
As someone whose paternal side of the family checks a lot of these boxes, I speculate but can't confirm if the factors around my Caribbean descent might explain why they are so fine with it. Or in other words, does the colonial past of Jamaica have something to do with why my dad is so harsh and he'll only respond that at least he'snot as harsh as his parents?
reply
Iljeko
actually, here in Philippines. mostly some parents here are so toxic and they just dont care about it. the most problem is that they just saying the underestimating someone or even their child is normal. as a teen, its so dissapointing. i really hate what my mom or dad saying to me. im just a person. i changed alot and they still comparing me to other
reply
actually, here in Philippines. mostly some parents here are so toxic and they just dont care about it. the most problem is that they just saying the underestimating someone or even their child is normal. as a teen, its so dissapointing. i really hate what my mom or dad saying to me. im just a person. i changed alot and they still comparing me to other
reply
Daemon
I'm 29 and still live with my toxic mother because i have no money to move out. And the reason i'm in this situation is because she treated me like trash growing up, emotionally abusing me and even beating me when i was a kid. This resulted in a emotionally unstable adult, plagued with severe anxiety, depression and ptsd.
reply
I'm 29 and still live with my toxic mother because i have no money to move out. And the reason i'm in this situation is because she treated me like trash growing up, emotionally abusing me and even beating me when i was a kid. This resulted in a emotionally unstable adult, plagued with severe anxiety, depression and ptsd.
reply
Claudia
When you go to psychotherapy and the specialist don't understand it. I went heavily medicated and growing thinking that something is wrong with me instead my parents, siblings.
Now I'm grown up but I can't scape them because I've been without right diagnosis of rare diseases.
I feel very frustrated.
reply
When you go to psychotherapy and the specialist don't understand it. I went heavily medicated and growing thinking that something is wrong with me instead my parents, siblings.
Now I'm grown up but I can't scape them because I've been without right diagnosis of rare diseases.
I feel very frustrated.
reply
Jo
I wonder how people in America deal with their parents when they have to deal with the fact that their parents thought that the appropriate initiation into life was to strap them to a table and remove the most sensitive part of their body, without even the insult of anaesthetic to commit to assault.
reply
I wonder how people in America deal with their parents when they have to deal with the fact that their parents thought that the appropriate initiation into life was to strap them to a table and remove the most sensitive part of their body, without even the insult of anaesthetic to commit to assault.
reply
education
Blaming all Responsibility to me, even on certain Unnecessary things, and then i can't finish my own Obligations and such, Smear Campaign, No Empathy, Envy, Jealousy, Gossiping, Arrogancy, to the point of Racism, anticulture, Authotarian behaviour.
I want to die honestly
reply
Blaming all Responsibility to me, even on certain Unnecessary things, and then i can't finish my own Obligations and such, Smear Campaign, No Empathy, Envy, Jealousy, Gossiping, Arrogancy, to the point of Racism, anticulture, Authotarian behaviour.
I want to die honestly
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
