10 Characteristics Of Highly Toxic Parents
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
vectoranvil
It took me 40 years to understand that a toxic parent is one OF THE BEST THING that can happen to you. Because you learn to be self-reliant, whether you like it or not. I am a first-born child. Our father was always very harsh on me, the more I tried to outdo myself, to somehow please him, the harsher he got. YEAR AFTER YEAR of insults, belittling, cruel jokes. And then and I got a chance to meet with people that were a second child, that were caressed and loved by the same parents that were toxic to the first born, because they were still learning how to parent. And these second-born children were almost all sissies, idiots, couch potatoes. I was amazed at how one of them couldn't perform basic operations on a PC while I have learned all kinds of tricks to make my software help me earn my daily bread. And those losers never had either a girlfriend nor were able to hold a job! EMBRACE YOUR SUFFERING. IT GIVES YOU YOUR VALUE.
This realization may take you years but when the penny finally drops, there will be no stopping you. You'll bulldozer through obstacles that make special snowflakes cry in the fetal position.
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It took me 40 years to understand that a toxic parent is one OF THE BEST THING that can happen to you. Because you learn to be self-reliant, whether you like it or not. I am a first-born child. Our father was always very harsh on me, the more I tried to outdo myself, to somehow please him, the harsher he got. YEAR AFTER YEAR of insults, belittling, cruel jokes. And then and I got a chance to meet with people that were a second child, that were caressed and loved by the same parents that were toxic to the first born, because they were still learning how to parent. And these second-born children were almost all sissies, idiots, couch potatoes. I was amazed at how one of them couldn't perform basic operations on a PC while I have learned all kinds of tricks to make my software help me earn my daily bread. And those losers never had either a girlfriend nor were able to hold a job! EMBRACE YOUR SUFFERING. IT GIVES YOU YOUR VALUE.
This realization may take you years but when the penny finally drops, there will be no stopping you. You'll bulldozer through obstacles that make special snowflakes cry in the fetal position.
reply
Jonah
Currently, cps is investigating my family because they believe that there's abuse going on. To do a little research, I watched a few of these psych2go videos and saw a lot of similarities. Currently, I'm working at a summer camp for the next few weeks, although I'm scared to go home to my parents. They're mad because I reported the abuse when I was asked specifically if there was anything going on at home. I'm really hurt and have a lot of mixed emotions between loving them and not wanting to be in those abusive situations. They have done most everything in this video to me and it really hurts yet they don't want to listen. I'm just fixing to go into my sophomore year of high school, so I have to have legal guardians anyways until I graduate; I just don't know who they might be at this point. Sorry for writing war and peace here, but just thought I'd clear my brain.
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Currently, cps is investigating my family because they believe that there's abuse going on. To do a little research, I watched a few of these psych2go videos and saw a lot of similarities. Currently, I'm working at a summer camp for the next few weeks, although I'm scared to go home to my parents. They're mad because I reported the abuse when I was asked specifically if there was anything going on at home. I'm really hurt and have a lot of mixed emotions between loving them and not wanting to be in those abusive situations. They have done most everything in this video to me and it really hurts yet they don't want to listen. I'm just fixing to go into my sophomore year of high school, so I have to have legal guardians anyways until I graduate; I just don't know who they might be at this point. Sorry for writing war and peace here, but just thought I'd clear my brain.
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Nazgulcik
I don't hurry to accuse my parents of being toxic, but there are few matching traits/behaviours from the list. Second one is particularly traumatizing - bad, negative emotions were always a taboo in my family, I mean you're not allowed to feel bad emotionally or say that you want to be alone in your room for a while, after being tired of interactions (I'm an introvert, been always just questioned why do I need that for, feeling like I have no right to do that. The more I was trying to explain, the more aggressive and negative their communication was getting. So I gave up and I'd always rather answer that my day went well and hide my emotions than telling the truth, in order to avoid constant questioning what's wrong with me or telling I'm ungrateful. It resulted me having regular emotional breakdowns, releasing all the accumulated emotions.
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I don't hurry to accuse my parents of being toxic, but there are few matching traits/behaviours from the list. Second one is particularly traumatizing - bad, negative emotions were always a taboo in my family, I mean you're not allowed to feel bad emotionally or say that you want to be alone in your room for a while, after being tired of interactions (I'm an introvert, been always just questioned why do I need that for, feeling like I have no right to do that. The more I was trying to explain, the more aggressive and negative their communication was getting. So I gave up and I'd always rather answer that my day went well and hide my emotions than telling the truth, in order to avoid constant questioning what's wrong with me or telling I'm ungrateful. It resulted me having regular emotional breakdowns, releasing all the accumulated emotions.
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Citronime
To all the parents who demand their kids to act their age, whos also checking this video via recommendation by their own kids or by yourself, I have a small question for you.
Have you taught your kids what they need to learn by that age? Or do you just tell them to get their crap together and force them to mature when they dont even have a clue on what to do to please you? Im just asking because I am a victim of this. Im currently 16 and my parents have taught me no basic knowledge on home construction, hobbies, important life skills such as cooking, and I had to undergo these training myself
So if you can kindly reply to this comment with your perspectives and thoughts, that would be great.
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To all the parents who demand their kids to act their age, whos also checking this video via recommendation by their own kids or by yourself, I have a small question for you.
Have you taught your kids what they need to learn by that age? Or do you just tell them to get their crap together and force them to mature when they dont even have a clue on what to do to please you? Im just asking because I am a victim of this. Im currently 16 and my parents have taught me no basic knowledge on home construction, hobbies, important life skills such as cooking, and I had to undergo these training myself
So if you can kindly reply to this comment with your perspectives and thoughts, that would be great.
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nymphadora
There's a shame around admitting that my parents were unintentionally toxic to me and my siblings. I recognise it now but to say it out aloud is being ungrateful and selfish. Even if I know they were wrong in treating me the wrong way as a child I can't say anything to them now. I don't want to be separated from them because I care about them, but now being in a relationship with my partner I realise how presence of a person who loves you unconditionally and helps you grow can mend your soul. I'm greatly thankful that finally I can trust someone with my craziest of thoughts and feelings and not be judged for it.
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There's a shame around admitting that my parents were unintentionally toxic to me and my siblings. I recognise it now but to say it out aloud is being ungrateful and selfish. Even if I know they were wrong in treating me the wrong way as a child I can't say anything to them now. I don't want to be separated from them because I care about them, but now being in a relationship with my partner I realise how presence of a person who loves you unconditionally and helps you grow can mend your soul. I'm greatly thankful that finally I can trust someone with my craziest of thoughts and feelings and not be judged for it.
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David
My dad is convinced my bad back & pinched sciatica is because of my lack of mobility. as opposed to his great idea of putting a concrete panel fence back together manually. I've done a lot of walking since. If he was right about mobility, I'd be better by now instead of worse. We've argued about it, but he still won't accept he was wrong. On top of that, one thing I'm not supposed to do much is drive. If I say no to a lift because my leg is killing me, I get an earful of abuse.
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My dad is convinced my bad back & pinched sciatica is because of my lack of mobility. as opposed to his great idea of putting a concrete panel fence back together manually. I've done a lot of walking since. If he was right about mobility, I'd be better by now instead of worse. We've argued about it, but he still won't accept he was wrong. On top of that, one thing I'm not supposed to do much is drive. If I say no to a lift because my leg is killing me, I get an earful of abuse.
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Oswald
Idk
When I was away at college my family member threatened to get rid of my dog and created a lot of problems with me, they said a lot of not nice things before I left like how I would never make it (in public at a chili's) but this summer has been really good! Except today when I got home from work and I was just yelled at and ignored and laughed at. I feel really upset and I remembered how bad it was before I came home and idk how to feel.
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Idk
When I was away at college my family member threatened to get rid of my dog and created a lot of problems with me, they said a lot of not nice things before I left like how I would never make it (in public at a chili's) but this summer has been really good! Except today when I got home from work and I was just yelled at and ignored and laughed at. I feel really upset and I remembered how bad it was before I came home and idk how to feel.
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Loud
im still a child and i have a single mother. my mom gets attacked by my brother and she doesnt care and gives him unconditional love. whenever i try and stop her from getting another bruise, she screams at me and threatens everything that makes me happy. she tells me that i dont get to be human because im a child. i dont know if this is abuse or not but a lot of your points are making sense to me and that scares me.
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im still a child and i have a single mother. my mom gets attacked by my brother and she doesnt care and gives him unconditional love. whenever i try and stop her from getting another bruise, she screams at me and threatens everything that makes me happy. she tells me that i dont get to be human because im a child. i dont know if this is abuse or not but a lot of your points are making sense to me and that scares me.
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education
Me: Voluntarily washes a ton of dishes
My mother: You didn't clean the sink strainers out. You never empty the strainers! (This is a false statement, I just get sick of doing it so I don't do it every stinking time. I'm always going behind you and fixing stuff, I need a break around here, no one helps me. blah blah blah.
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Me: Voluntarily washes a ton of dishes
My mother: You didn't clean the sink strainers out. You never empty the strainers! (This is a false statement, I just get sick of doing it so I don't do it every stinking time. I'm always going behind you and fixing stuff, I need a break around here, no one helps me. blah blah blah.
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Shroomie
My dad was incredibly toxic. He fits into a lot of the categories on this list, especially #5. Anytime I would try and tell him the things he did wrong, his go-to excuse was, Well, I could've treated you so much worse. I'm not as bad as other parents out there. I've been no contact with him for about 7-8 months now.
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My dad was incredibly toxic. He fits into a lot of the categories on this list, especially #5. Anytime I would try and tell him the things he did wrong, his go-to excuse was, Well, I could've treated you so much worse. I'm not as bad as other parents out there. I've been no contact with him for about 7-8 months now.
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Maytal
Most of these is true to my mother like her constantly being watching me in my room asking me what I was doing when I didn't asked her too, her cleaning my room without consent, and of course coming to me like a ticking time bomb exploding at me when I never asked for it is when I realized she's a toxic parent.
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Most of these is true to my mother like her constantly being watching me in my room asking me what I was doing when I didn't asked her too, her cleaning my room without consent, and of course coming to me like a ticking time bomb exploding at me when I never asked for it is when I realized she's a toxic parent.
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education
My mother: in a whiny mood Can't you put something on TV? (She can't live without the TV on)
Me: Meh, I don't wanna watch TV. Or, You put something on, I'm always the one picking stuff out
My mother: What's your problem, you've been ugly today, what's wrong with you. yakity, yakity, yakity.
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My mother: in a whiny mood Can't you put something on TV? (She can't live without the TV on)
Me: Meh, I don't wanna watch TV. Or, You put something on, I'm always the one picking stuff out
My mother: What's your problem, you've been ugly today, what's wrong with you. yakity, yakity, yakity.
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UnWieldy
Ive recognized some of the traits across these videos in my parents, and Ive talked to them about it, but it seems like there is no real solution to this problem. I keep getting treated the same, and I just dont know what to do.
Recognizing a problem is one thing. Dealing with it is another.
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Ive recognized some of the traits across these videos in my parents, and Ive talked to them about it, but it seems like there is no real solution to this problem. I keep getting treated the same, and I just dont know what to do.
Recognizing a problem is one thing. Dealing with it is another.
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Leati
By watching this video ive finally understand that my mothers behavior wasnt normal
Shes so toxic and at the end of the day she says she does this for me
She made me become a liar and depressed with anxiety
Please to the future parents dont ever do this you will destroy your kids life
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By watching this video ive finally understand that my mothers behavior wasnt normal
Shes so toxic and at the end of the day she says she does this for me
She made me become a liar and depressed with anxiety
Please to the future parents dont ever do this you will destroy your kids life
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Harman
Toxic parents never ever admit they are toxic. They just make us count their sacrifices and show us how ungrateful we are. And if you try to point out anything in them they ll ask jokingly to leave their house if you are having this much problem, as if this house doesnt belongs to you.
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Toxic parents never ever admit they are toxic. They just make us count their sacrifices and show us how ungrateful we are. And if you try to point out anything in them they ll ask jokingly to leave their house if you are having this much problem, as if this house doesnt belongs to you.
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Riishu
I've related to every Points that you said. It hurts really. They just thinks of me as a tool who talk or walk in their command. I'm just a human.
They never seem to understand it.
Every time I have an argument, I'm the only one who feels tired and they feel irritation. Why?
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I've related to every Points that you said. It hurts really. They just thinks of me as a tool who talk or walk in their command. I'm just a human.
They never seem to understand it.
Every time I have an argument, I'm the only one who feels tired and they feel irritation. Why?
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education
#8 My mother does not respect my boundaries. NEVER can I go off in my room to do anything just to myself. She expects me to be closer to her so that whatever I'm doing entertains her as well. I also can't put ear buds in, that hurts her little feelings when she's gotta gab.
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#8 My mother does not respect my boundaries. NEVER can I go off in my room to do anything just to myself. She expects me to be closer to her so that whatever I'm doing entertains her as well. I also can't put ear buds in, that hurts her little feelings when she's gotta gab.
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education
#7 My mother definetly demands my attention. She gets her little feelings hurt if I put my ear buds in my ear to hear myself practice the piano or listen to music during the day. She'd much rather I be available for her to gab to or sympathize with her whiny mood.
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#7 My mother definetly demands my attention. She gets her little feelings hurt if I put my ear buds in my ear to hear myself practice the piano or listen to music during the day. She'd much rather I be available for her to gab to or sympathize with her whiny mood.
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Emily
Am important thing to note, it doesn't have to be a parent. An adult caregiver can have as much impact. For me, it was my aunt. I still hear her voice when I'm anxious 20 years later.
Question: are there studies available for one HTP and the other intervening?
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Am important thing to note, it doesn't have to be a parent. An adult caregiver can have as much impact. For me, it was my aunt. I still hear her voice when I'm anxious 20 years later.
Question: are there studies available for one HTP and the other intervening?
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Annie
On a good note to find some positivity. i really really like your graphics these days. You've grown and gotten so good at these. I love your creativity. Even tho true and sad as duck. at least they are totally watchable. Great job. Thank you.
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On a good note to find some positivity. i really really like your graphics these days. You've grown and gotten so good at these. I love your creativity. Even tho true and sad as duck. at least they are totally watchable. Great job. Thank you.
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SidDrawsStuff
I love the anime references. This is a serious topic, and one that should be talked about, but sometimes it can be hard to visualize. Having a media reference to look back to can help give that reference, and thats valuable
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I love the anime references. This is a serious topic, and one that should be talked about, but sometimes it can be hard to visualize. Having a media reference to look back to can help give that reference, and thats valuable
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Jason
Your parents did the best they could -- well, there's only one thing to say about that: you as a child also did the best you could, but that didn't prevent you being punished when the best you could wasn't good enough.
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Your parents did the best they could -- well, there's only one thing to say about that: you as a child also did the best you could, but that didn't prevent you being punished when the best you could wasn't good enough.
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Maryln
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS. Some Children r Growing up in Families were They r Made into Family Problems because Their Family Need to Turn Them into that in order to make their own terrible marriage seem to work
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(FACTS OVA FEELINGS. Some Children r Growing up in Families were They r Made into Family Problems because Their Family Need to Turn Them into that in order to make their own terrible marriage seem to work
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Pinky
The one who gives the golden-boy treatment to the younger crackhead sibling to the point where the messiest of messy divorces happen just in time to screw over college plans. which kind is that?
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The one who gives the golden-boy treatment to the younger crackhead sibling to the point where the messiest of messy divorces happen just in time to screw over college plans. which kind is that?
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education
Me: puts ear buds in my ears so I can practice piano on my tablet for a little while
My mother: feelings hurt because I'm not paying attention to her needs You've been doing that all day!
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Me: puts ear buds in my ears so I can practice piano on my tablet for a little while
My mother: feelings hurt because I'm not paying attention to her needs You've been doing that all day!
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