8 Signs It's Obsession, NOT Love
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Michael
I've dealt with a few of these with my most recent partner. At first we never had issues communicating and these things were never a problem per se. We were very much in sync. I never required constant contact and could go days with talking to each other but as time went on we communicated less and it became an issue. We've been through a lot. but recently she realized she likely has adult ADHD. She had mentioned it from time to time but it never really clicked. We both sought therapy respectively. Once I started looking into adult ADHD a lot behaviors began to make sense. Now that I have some understanding it's made some things a bit easier. It's up to her if she wants to pursue seeing a psychiatrist or medication etc.
But as far as how I react to said behaviors. Well those are things I need to work on from within. I tend to worry about things and often ruminate with negative thoughts about myself and relationships and they in turn amplify my insecurities. Currently working on controlling those thoughts and setting myself free from the mental prisons i create for myself.
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I've dealt with a few of these with my most recent partner. At first we never had issues communicating and these things were never a problem per se. We were very much in sync. I never required constant contact and could go days with talking to each other but as time went on we communicated less and it became an issue. We've been through a lot. but recently she realized she likely has adult ADHD. She had mentioned it from time to time but it never really clicked. We both sought therapy respectively. Once I started looking into adult ADHD a lot behaviors began to make sense. Now that I have some understanding it's made some things a bit easier. It's up to her if she wants to pursue seeing a psychiatrist or medication etc.
But as far as how I react to said behaviors. Well those are things I need to work on from within. I tend to worry about things and often ruminate with negative thoughts about myself and relationships and they in turn amplify my insecurities. Currently working on controlling those thoughts and setting myself free from the mental prisons i create for myself.
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GreatCity
Thank you for making this video. I find this video valuable because it was so helpful and useful as it can help me watch out for signs of obsession.
I want to tell yall a story about something happening relating to one of the signs shown in this video.
Last year during my junior year of high school when I was talking with my friends during the passing period between 3rd and 4th period, there was a group of girls who were just demanding my attention when I didnt want to talk to them as I was talking to my friends.
After I got done talking with my friends, I was going to class and the group of girls that were demanding my attention were demanding my attention again when I was going to class. It felt like were showing signs of extremely controlling behavior. When they did, it felt like they were attempting to convince me that they were the only ones I desire even though I dont.
I am sorry this comment is long, its because everything Ive mentioned in my story is what I wanted to talk about.
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Thank you for making this video. I find this video valuable because it was so helpful and useful as it can help me watch out for signs of obsession.
I want to tell yall a story about something happening relating to one of the signs shown in this video.
Last year during my junior year of high school when I was talking with my friends during the passing period between 3rd and 4th period, there was a group of girls who were just demanding my attention when I didnt want to talk to them as I was talking to my friends.
After I got done talking with my friends, I was going to class and the group of girls that were demanding my attention were demanding my attention again when I was going to class. It felt like were showing signs of extremely controlling behavior. When they did, it felt like they were attempting to convince me that they were the only ones I desire even though I dont.
I am sorry this comment is long, its because everything Ive mentioned in my story is what I wanted to talk about.
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Dudewhatthewhat
The only one I might have some problems with is the daily contact, however it is difficult for me to really know how much contact is too much. Me and my partner are in a long distance relationship, which isnt easy when your love language is quality time. Its not that I want us to have long conversations everyday, or dont understand that they need space to do their own thing, but when I go multiple days, without them sending just a little text like: hello I miss you. Hope youre doing well. It just kind of feels like they have left me behind. I dont know where to set the line, especially since most times were I have gotten advise on long distance relationships, I have been told try to communicate or be on the phone everyday. Not for long but, just 10 minutes or something to check up on each other. I just dont know how to handle it.
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The only one I might have some problems with is the daily contact, however it is difficult for me to really know how much contact is too much. Me and my partner are in a long distance relationship, which isnt easy when your love language is quality time. Its not that I want us to have long conversations everyday, or dont understand that they need space to do their own thing, but when I go multiple days, without them sending just a little text like: hello I miss you. Hope youre doing well. It just kind of feels like they have left me behind. I dont know where to set the line, especially since most times were I have gotten advise on long distance relationships, I have been told try to communicate or be on the phone everyday. Not for long but, just 10 minutes or something to check up on each other. I just dont know how to handle it.
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David
I strongly disagree! Love is hormone based, in other words not rational, it is uncontrollable. In other words, an obsession! Love without obsession is called infatuation. People that are in love if it's unrequited or not are deeply repulsive. they act and think mentally retarded thoughts! They should be locked up in (separate) looney bins until the hormones get to normal levels! All marriages that work are based on infatuation or cold hard calculations about what the mutual benefits are, or just because everyone else does it! You can never and will never marry the one you love! For one: the hormone level is not sustainable in the long run and two: in the end, someone who loves you is more scary than nice! This why in many countries you have a betrothal period of at least half a year so the hormones can settle!
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I strongly disagree! Love is hormone based, in other words not rational, it is uncontrollable. In other words, an obsession! Love without obsession is called infatuation. People that are in love if it's unrequited or not are deeply repulsive. they act and think mentally retarded thoughts! They should be locked up in (separate) looney bins until the hormones get to normal levels! All marriages that work are based on infatuation or cold hard calculations about what the mutual benefits are, or just because everyone else does it! You can never and will never marry the one you love! For one: the hormone level is not sustainable in the long run and two: in the end, someone who loves you is more scary than nice! This why in many countries you have a betrothal period of at least half a year so the hormones can settle!
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Hannah
I find this really interesting that a lot of people commenting on this video are the obsessed ones. Im on the opposite end. I couldnt have found this video at a more perfect time. My ex ticked off every one of these signs unfortunately and made me think it was love. I knew it wasnt. Things were moving too fast for my first relationship and he wasnt respecting my space with my friends and family. And wanting to be #1 on my list above friends and family after only knowing each other for only 3 weeks. I told him I needed some space after having him spend the night and spending all day together and he got extremely mad so I broke it off. Found this video a week after confirming it wasnt healthy love at all. And I dont think there was a way to truly heal the relationship as my ex is extremely insecure.
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I find this really interesting that a lot of people commenting on this video are the obsessed ones. Im on the opposite end. I couldnt have found this video at a more perfect time. My ex ticked off every one of these signs unfortunately and made me think it was love. I knew it wasnt. Things were moving too fast for my first relationship and he wasnt respecting my space with my friends and family. And wanting to be #1 on my list above friends and family after only knowing each other for only 3 weeks. I told him I needed some space after having him spend the night and spending all day together and he got extremely mad so I broke it off. Found this video a week after confirming it wasnt healthy love at all. And I dont think there was a way to truly heal the relationship as my ex is extremely insecure.
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Vivianqooz
I like boys but they always ended up liked someone so, i might be kinda heart broken but thats not really a big deal for me, after moving on i found my bestfriend ex crush (she doesn't like him again) he seems different to me he makes my heat felt different whenever he do some social with me i feel so excited and clumsy. I feel like i like him too much. Summer arrives and we don't have to go to school summer ofc, thats the time my crazy obsession? Stopped but when i met him again he seems to like to interact with me more but when he interacts with me but im glad im not like excited and clumsy anymore when he interacts with me but my heart still have strong feeling for him how do i make myself not look like a limerence
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I like boys but they always ended up liked someone so, i might be kinda heart broken but thats not really a big deal for me, after moving on i found my bestfriend ex crush (she doesn't like him again) he seems different to me he makes my heat felt different whenever he do some social with me i feel so excited and clumsy. I feel like i like him too much. Summer arrives and we don't have to go to school summer ofc, thats the time my crazy obsession? Stopped but when i met him again he seems to like to interact with me more but when he interacts with me but im glad im not like excited and clumsy anymore when he interacts with me but my heart still have strong feeling for him how do i make myself not look like a limerence
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Wilavy
This shows that Im somehow crossing the line of being in love to obsessed at some parts. I feel bad abt it. My bf seems like hes in love in a healthy way to me. He also told me once that youre not toxic, but youre needy.
Im not controlling, but i get extremely anxious when he goes out partying with his friends at the club, doesnt reply to my text for hours esp after work hours, and this will affect my mood and makes me angry or mostly cry due to anxiety.
I feel bad for him. but im trying my best everyday to be more chill and more controlling of my own emotion. Also my anxiety comes from being cheated on 3 times and left by my father since i was a kid (diagnosed. But im trying to be a better and stable person
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This shows that Im somehow crossing the line of being in love to obsessed at some parts. I feel bad abt it. My bf seems like hes in love in a healthy way to me. He also told me once that youre not toxic, but youre needy.
Im not controlling, but i get extremely anxious when he goes out partying with his friends at the club, doesnt reply to my text for hours esp after work hours, and this will affect my mood and makes me angry or mostly cry due to anxiety.
I feel bad for him. but im trying my best everyday to be more chill and more controlling of my own emotion. Also my anxiety comes from being cheated on 3 times and left by my father since i was a kid (diagnosed. But im trying to be a better and stable person
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Lexi
I am well aware and fortunately have the learned experience from the recipient side of obsession, to now know the red flags. I agree with all of these points and appreciate them.
Despite being old fashioned, I am beginning to believe in online romances. When data analytics lead to like minds, it can be a beautiful thing. It also keeps people at safe distances, and challenges new ways of communication and interpretation. I have learned a lot about myself by following certain topics and people. Especially when it narrows down to common traits that you see in someone else and once used to regularly appreciate in yourself.
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I am well aware and fortunately have the learned experience from the recipient side of obsession, to now know the red flags. I agree with all of these points and appreciate them.
Despite being old fashioned, I am beginning to believe in online romances. When data analytics lead to like minds, it can be a beautiful thing. It also keeps people at safe distances, and challenges new ways of communication and interpretation. I have learned a lot about myself by following certain topics and people. Especially when it narrows down to common traits that you see in someone else and once used to regularly appreciate in yourself.
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Poly
This is why you shouldn't want anyone to be obsessed with you.
A little while ago i went through a situation where a covert narcissist became obsessed with me. Once the red flags became too big to ignore, i told him i no longer wanted to see him and he proceeded to try to contact me for another 9 days.
I was even concerned to just go out in case he showed up outside or ar my workplace and made a scene.
He was the type that loves attention and needs people to see him in a good light, but i was still worried
Hopefully he never contacts me again
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This is why you shouldn't want anyone to be obsessed with you.
A little while ago i went through a situation where a covert narcissist became obsessed with me. Once the red flags became too big to ignore, i told him i no longer wanted to see him and he proceeded to try to contact me for another 9 days.
I was even concerned to just go out in case he showed up outside or ar my workplace and made a scene.
He was the type that loves attention and needs people to see him in a good light, but i was still worried
Hopefully he never contacts me again
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CatHedgehog
The first one especially worried me in regards of myself. I have a crush who also likes me back and whenever he speaks of something he does on his own, independently, I start to become angry. The rest of these flags mentioned dont much apply to this relationship NOW but has before in the past on my part. I am curious to know if theres more videos on this kind of behavior. I really hope to know I love this person and is not obsessed with them. Love the video, thanks for making amazing content.
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The first one especially worried me in regards of myself. I have a crush who also likes me back and whenever he speaks of something he does on his own, independently, I start to become angry. The rest of these flags mentioned dont much apply to this relationship NOW but has before in the past on my part. I am curious to know if theres more videos on this kind of behavior. I really hope to know I love this person and is not obsessed with them. Love the video, thanks for making amazing content.
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H.
Obsession is based on jealousy and fear. I hate it when people falsely call their love to people an obsession to brand you a stalker. It create a doubt if one's self spontaneously liking people. Creating a lack of self acceptance of being themselves and afraid to talk to people.
It's really destroying yourself and I think one shouldn't be afraid to be shamed as a stalker if its just being yourself. These people are foolish or even manipulative fearmongerers towards you.
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Obsession is based on jealousy and fear. I hate it when people falsely call their love to people an obsession to brand you a stalker. It create a doubt if one's self spontaneously liking people. Creating a lack of self acceptance of being themselves and afraid to talk to people.
It's really destroying yourself and I think one shouldn't be afraid to be shamed as a stalker if its just being yourself. These people are foolish or even manipulative fearmongerers towards you.
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Chris
Perhaps they're asking serious questions about the future BECAUSE they want to know if its worth building a future together, so you don't feel even more heartbroken when it comes to realising you arent going to work out further dkwn the line.
I think these deep and more serious questions should come fairly early on to know whether its worth it for both of you.
To me, thats is respect and loving to both of you.
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Perhaps they're asking serious questions about the future BECAUSE they want to know if its worth building a future together, so you don't feel even more heartbroken when it comes to realising you arent going to work out further dkwn the line.
I think these deep and more serious questions should come fairly early on to know whether its worth it for both of you.
To me, thats is respect and loving to both of you.
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anonymous
The worst thing is that the fact that they accuse you of being obcessive when in reality it's them who avoid compromise and they hate themselves when their friends get close to them and then they discard them.
-If you get close to them, they call you clingy
-If you know that they avoided you and you confront them, they call you obsessive.
-If they want you to chase them, they'll call you stalker.
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The worst thing is that the fact that they accuse you of being obcessive when in reality it's them who avoid compromise and they hate themselves when their friends get close to them and then they discard them.
-If you get close to them, they call you clingy
-If you know that they avoided you and you confront them, they call you obsessive.
-If they want you to chase them, they'll call you stalker.
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just
I instinctively and sub-consciencely do some of these
No wonder why my instincts say I'm always going to be single and that I'm the problem
Even if I try my best to have a healthy relationship
the time I watched this is the time I realized I was doing it wrong xd
I'm actually glad that I realized and am now aware of my flaws.
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I instinctively and sub-consciencely do some of these
No wonder why my instincts say I'm always going to be single and that I'm the problem
Even if I try my best to have a healthy relationship
the time I watched this is the time I realized I was doing it wrong xd
I'm actually glad that I realized and am now aware of my flaws.
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Lallawmzuala
Now I know it's an obsessed crush but it doesn't just go always so I thought it was not it's Benn years ever since I met him I really like him I try to like someone else cuz it was hard to forget him but if I met him again once I will immediately go back to the beginning, but we aren't even considered friends n r just classmates
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Now I know it's an obsessed crush but it doesn't just go always so I thought it was not it's Benn years ever since I met him I really like him I try to like someone else cuz it was hard to forget him but if I met him again once I will immediately go back to the beginning, but we aren't even considered friends n r just classmates
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Pooja
according toh this signs I'm 9/10 obsessed over a girl. now i know its extreme and toxic for me as well as her and our relationship ( frnds only) i wanted to make thing's better for us and wanted to become someone normal and not controlling someone's life. i will take a journal on my behaviour and this video helped a lot
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according toh this signs I'm 9/10 obsessed over a girl. now i know its extreme and toxic for me as well as her and our relationship ( frnds only) i wanted to make thing's better for us and wanted to become someone normal and not controlling someone's life. i will take a journal on my behaviour and this video helped a lot
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Mark
All of this mumbo jumbo depends on the subjective definition of words such as unhealthy, crazy, bad, extreme, evil.
It's like those religious leaders who claim to be prophet of God, this video is pretending to be the prophet, the savior who gives definition to human life.
How sad.
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All of this mumbo jumbo depends on the subjective definition of words such as unhealthy, crazy, bad, extreme, evil.
It's like those religious leaders who claim to be prophet of God, this video is pretending to be the prophet, the savior who gives definition to human life.
How sad.
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education
It's not romantic, it's creepy af always give shivers. Experience it right now, it been 5 yrs and he's still obsessed over me. I don't like him but he's still trying, he even manipulate me into killing himself so I feel guilty but idgaf anymore. But he's still bothering me
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It's not romantic, it's creepy af always give shivers. Experience it right now, it been 5 yrs and he's still obsessed over me. I don't like him but he's still trying, he even manipulate me into killing himself so I feel guilty but idgaf anymore. But he's still bothering me
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dream
A obsessed person is someone who always contact you even with no reason and always jealous the partner is with someone else they use violence and always stalk you and don't allow you to go to work I don't have experience but I read bl manhua so I kind of know
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A obsessed person is someone who always contact you even with no reason and always jealous the partner is with someone else they use violence and always stalk you and don't allow you to go to work I don't have experience but I read bl manhua so I kind of know
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talytsu
just discovered i was obsessed, i dont know how to feel because i have been with a highly obsessed person for years, now i am with someone that is healthy mentally and has their own life and my heart always hurt when i think about it
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just discovered i was obsessed, i dont know how to feel because i have been with a highly obsessed person for years, now i am with someone that is healthy mentally and has their own life and my heart always hurt when i think about it
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education
I got a Text message randomly from this girl saying hello hello hello i missed you this aint right but i never felt this way before i feel like im actually obsessed with you but i dont know if its obssesion or just love
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I got a Text message randomly from this girl saying hello hello hello i missed you this aint right but i never felt this way before i feel like im actually obsessed with you but i dont know if its obssesion or just love
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Sweet_Rain
I'm surprised to relate with a lot of them. I actually think that I'm deeply in love with him, but it turns out I'm obsessed. Suddenly all of my obsessive behavior that I call love makes more sense. I need therapy.
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I'm surprised to relate with a lot of them. I actually think that I'm deeply in love with him, but it turns out I'm obsessed. Suddenly all of my obsessive behavior that I call love makes more sense. I need therapy.
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Fatiisa
I'm obsessed wth someone, i though it was love but when i stoped to feeling thoes Butterflies and still wanting his atenttion and be the only, even though i don't want something serious wth him, i saw they true
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I'm obsessed wth someone, i though it was love but when i stoped to feeling thoes Butterflies and still wanting his atenttion and be the only, even though i don't want something serious wth him, i saw they true
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Lucifer-the-goat
The thing is, we have never met. He doesnt know I exist. I obsess over him to much, I barely think of anyone else when I think of the word love. I cant stop thinking about him and I hate it.
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The thing is, we have never met. He doesnt know I exist. I obsess over him to much, I barely think of anyone else when I think of the word love. I cant stop thinking about him and I hate it.
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Coby
Sadly I realized I was obsessed with my girlfriend. I hurt her a lot and I have a lot of regrets. I still struggle with thinking of her all the time, maybe it's love- but maybe im just still obsessed
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Sadly I realized I was obsessed with my girlfriend. I hurt her a lot and I have a lot of regrets. I still struggle with thinking of her all the time, maybe it's love- but maybe im just still obsessed
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