8 Signs Youre Depressed About Your Life
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Hero
Okay so Im (pretty young) and I have a nice life kinda. I cant reach out to anyone about this kind of depression cause I have an alternate self (which I call my fragmented self to give it a cool name, and bc it shows fragments of my actual self. I find myself being scared of what will happen after Im dead and questioning about my success for my dream to become an actor. Because of my fragmented self I cant reach out to anyone (one of my friends or sister)and if I do they will think its a joke (I have tried numerous times and the reason why I cant show my parents is bc I like anime and I swear a lot) I usually stay in my room bc its a safe place to watch anime/be myself. I cant deal with this by myself and the only one who can/will listen to me is my online friend named Jake. I say on how I feel like nobody cares about me or wants to do anything with me (example: my sister promised to watch an anime called rent a girlfriend but she never did and kept backing out on it) I say to myself on how Im worthless and I also say I hate myself. And now Im in my room writing a whole goddamn paragraph on this. But Im working on healing and I have been getting better (a bit) by expressing myself to vocaloid songs that relate to me (Cherry Blossoms Before Dawn and That Day I Was Absent From School Both By Kikuo) And I Just Wanted to share my story with you all to get this all off of my chest!
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Okay so Im (pretty young) and I have a nice life kinda. I cant reach out to anyone about this kind of depression cause I have an alternate self (which I call my fragmented self to give it a cool name, and bc it shows fragments of my actual self. I find myself being scared of what will happen after Im dead and questioning about my success for my dream to become an actor. Because of my fragmented self I cant reach out to anyone (one of my friends or sister)and if I do they will think its a joke (I have tried numerous times and the reason why I cant show my parents is bc I like anime and I swear a lot) I usually stay in my room bc its a safe place to watch anime/be myself. I cant deal with this by myself and the only one who can/will listen to me is my online friend named Jake. I say on how I feel like nobody cares about me or wants to do anything with me (example: my sister promised to watch an anime called rent a girlfriend but she never did and kept backing out on it) I say to myself on how Im worthless and I also say I hate myself. And now Im in my room writing a whole goddamn paragraph on this. But Im working on healing and I have been getting better (a bit) by expressing myself to vocaloid songs that relate to me (Cherry Blossoms Before Dawn and That Day I Was Absent From School Both By Kikuo) And I Just Wanted to share my story with you all to get this all off of my chest!
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Dvq
All my life, I've never been happy. I'm always overwhelmed with expectations of my family, friends, and everyone we else. It's always been:
1. Friends and family
2. Everyone one I love
3. Strangers
4. Everyone I hate
5. Me
Sometimes, I feel like I'm just everyone's chump, but it's all OK, since I can keep screwing things up, fix it and no one will ever have to worry about it. All the friends that I've made have moved on with their lives, and my love life is so crappy that all the love that I've ever had, I've symbolicly burned it all into ashes, and I don't want to love anyone else now. The worst part, about it is, I'm just a kid. This isn't supposed to happen to me. I've been dealing with huge amounts of stress at such a young age, that now my body reacts to minor stress/threats as if my life were in danger. How messed up is that? That this has gone unnoticed for so long. no one has any idea how messed up my physical, mental, and emotional health is. People think that I'm this angel and I always know what to do, but that's not true. I haven't learned a thing from my problems. They've all just made me worse. People think that I'm this happy person who will never snap, but I'm not that kid at all. I'm a fraud. I'm a mistake. I'm a monster
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All my life, I've never been happy. I'm always overwhelmed with expectations of my family, friends, and everyone we else. It's always been:
1. Friends and family
2. Everyone one I love
3. Strangers
4. Everyone I hate
5. Me
Sometimes, I feel like I'm just everyone's chump, but it's all OK, since I can keep screwing things up, fix it and no one will ever have to worry about it. All the friends that I've made have moved on with their lives, and my love life is so crappy that all the love that I've ever had, I've symbolicly burned it all into ashes, and I don't want to love anyone else now. The worst part, about it is, I'm just a kid. This isn't supposed to happen to me. I've been dealing with huge amounts of stress at such a young age, that now my body reacts to minor stress/threats as if my life were in danger. How messed up is that? That this has gone unnoticed for so long. no one has any idea how messed up my physical, mental, and emotional health is. People think that I'm this angel and I always know what to do, but that's not true. I haven't learned a thing from my problems. They've all just made me worse. People think that I'm this happy person who will never snap, but I'm not that kid at all. I'm a fraud. I'm a mistake. I'm a monster
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ooi
When you have a boyfriend who don't understand anything but just want his ways, you will be depressed isn't it? For example he only wants you to stay at home but he forgot the world is not just you & him, your mom will ask, why are you staying home only, she'll say you are not like that, are you sick? Next, she'll say you better see a doctor. What excuse to change your life without an explanation? Nope, he wants his way only, you can't tell your mom you have a boyfriend who is not interested to meet you but only want you to stay at home, you also can't tell your mom yet why he want it to be like that because this boyfriend is invincible, worse when your mom doesn't know what are your capabilities or your abilities, because it's not something she believes, so what is there to tell, but nope your boyfriend want his ways only. You will be depressed that way because actually the problem is easy to resolve, just a little coordination and communication and understanding, nope but remember he won't meet you, so how can you be not depressed. He want something, he is ruining the same thing he wanted to go smoothly and he thinks it's because of you, because you refuse to heed his advice to stay at home. It's really amusing isn't it
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When you have a boyfriend who don't understand anything but just want his ways, you will be depressed isn't it? For example he only wants you to stay at home but he forgot the world is not just you & him, your mom will ask, why are you staying home only, she'll say you are not like that, are you sick? Next, she'll say you better see a doctor. What excuse to change your life without an explanation? Nope, he wants his way only, you can't tell your mom you have a boyfriend who is not interested to meet you but only want you to stay at home, you also can't tell your mom yet why he want it to be like that because this boyfriend is invincible, worse when your mom doesn't know what are your capabilities or your abilities, because it's not something she believes, so what is there to tell, but nope your boyfriend want his ways only. You will be depressed that way because actually the problem is easy to resolve, just a little coordination and communication and understanding, nope but remember he won't meet you, so how can you be not depressed. He want something, he is ruining the same thing he wanted to go smoothly and he thinks it's because of you, because you refuse to heed his advice to stay at home. It's really amusing isn't it
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Sn0W
TW//: mentions of suicide
- possibly a vent
The thing with me is that I dont care. From a young age, like 11, I didnt know what I was gonna do with my life, and that was kinda starting to reach worrying limits. I wasnt ever uncomfortable or afraid of any kind of death mentioning, and never understood why people treasured life so much. I also thought a few times about taking my life away. I dont really feel like I would be happy doing anything in future, and the possible fact that I wont be happy for the rest of my life stresses me alot. With that, Im also stressed because Im starting to doubt that I have depersonalization and now I realize how uncomfortable living is to me. And when I started to go to school (so also early age, I was taking religion classes and also felt pretty uncomfortable with the fact that I will be alive for eternity, immortality always terrified me. Was also weirded out by how much my classmates were afraid of death and pleasured the fact that afterlife (may) exsist. If it was up to me, I would pick to float somwhere endless, not having consiousness and just being at peace, not exsisting.
Thanks for listening, if you did: )
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TW//: mentions of suicide
- possibly a vent
The thing with me is that I dont care. From a young age, like 11, I didnt know what I was gonna do with my life, and that was kinda starting to reach worrying limits. I wasnt ever uncomfortable or afraid of any kind of death mentioning, and never understood why people treasured life so much. I also thought a few times about taking my life away. I dont really feel like I would be happy doing anything in future, and the possible fact that I wont be happy for the rest of my life stresses me alot. With that, Im also stressed because Im starting to doubt that I have depersonalization and now I realize how uncomfortable living is to me. And when I started to go to school (so also early age, I was taking religion classes and also felt pretty uncomfortable with the fact that I will be alive for eternity, immortality always terrified me. Was also weirded out by how much my classmates were afraid of death and pleasured the fact that afterlife (may) exsist. If it was up to me, I would pick to float somwhere endless, not having consiousness and just being at peace, not exsisting.
Thanks for listening, if you did: )
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Sadist
I am professionally diagnosed with severe antisocial personality disorder and I have alot of these symptoms, I 100% stand behind my ASPD diagnosis because it really describes me BUT I think the same feelings with me are because of my lack of emotion and my lack of care, I dont care about alot because I simply cant get myself to care and I think it results in feelings alot of the things in the video. I also think it has alot to do with everything that I do try to do fails, like seeking help for my mental health that I consider a threat to both society and myself but they refuse to help me, Ive been rejected 3 times because 1. I was too severe in most of my symptoms 2. It was too far away according to them 3. I was too aggressive.
Since Im disabled, I have been trying to get help to either find a suitable job that is willing to change things for me to make me able to work (the government pays certain companies for it, but I havent finished my education due to my disability and dont get help, they also refuse to give me disability I believe its called because they believe there can be a cure for me in 10 years so for now I just have to fxck off.
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I am professionally diagnosed with severe antisocial personality disorder and I have alot of these symptoms, I 100% stand behind my ASPD diagnosis because it really describes me BUT I think the same feelings with me are because of my lack of emotion and my lack of care, I dont care about alot because I simply cant get myself to care and I think it results in feelings alot of the things in the video. I also think it has alot to do with everything that I do try to do fails, like seeking help for my mental health that I consider a threat to both society and myself but they refuse to help me, Ive been rejected 3 times because 1. I was too severe in most of my symptoms 2. It was too far away according to them 3. I was too aggressive.
Since Im disabled, I have been trying to get help to either find a suitable job that is willing to change things for me to make me able to work (the government pays certain companies for it, but I havent finished my education due to my disability and dont get help, they also refuse to give me disability I believe its called because they believe there can be a cure for me in 10 years so for now I just have to fxck off.
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Smiling
The 'deep, concerning thoughts at night' part struck me, especially these last two years. A thought that regularly comes to mind when I go to sleep is the argument of consciousness being numbed, suspended, or dissolved in REM sleep. The argument is that you 'die' and a consciousness forms the next day with all of your memories and thoughts believing themselves to be you. Something similar to the 'teleportation is destruction of 'you' and reconstruction of something else that thinks it's you' argument.
It makes time and life feel unreal to me. The idea that 'I' didn't live yesterday, that my memories of yesterday are just imprints someone else lived. It feels detached and numb in the present because that's 'real', but tomorrow is terrifying and the past is a ghost of a moment in time imprinted on my brain's synapses. And who knows how that actually works, even neuroscientists are still mapping that out.
It's the worst thought to have before bed, but also a disturbing one on nights when I stumble under the covers after a long day, contemplate that theory/philosophy, shrug my shoulders tiredly, and resignedly turn off the light.
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The 'deep, concerning thoughts at night' part struck me, especially these last two years. A thought that regularly comes to mind when I go to sleep is the argument of consciousness being numbed, suspended, or dissolved in REM sleep. The argument is that you 'die' and a consciousness forms the next day with all of your memories and thoughts believing themselves to be you. Something similar to the 'teleportation is destruction of 'you' and reconstruction of something else that thinks it's you' argument.
It makes time and life feel unreal to me. The idea that 'I' didn't live yesterday, that my memories of yesterday are just imprints someone else lived. It feels detached and numb in the present because that's 'real', but tomorrow is terrifying and the past is a ghost of a moment in time imprinted on my brain's synapses. And who knows how that actually works, even neuroscientists are still mapping that out.
It's the worst thought to have before bed, but also a disturbing one on nights when I stumble under the covers after a long day, contemplate that theory/philosophy, shrug my shoulders tiredly, and resignedly turn off the light.
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Heather
I've had most of these symptoms for the past 30 years & while I've found momentary distractions from these feelings over the years, I've never found anything that helped me find long term meaning or purpose in life.
Most advice that's given when people go through this is to help others & you'll find meaning & fulfillment through the connections you make with people.
I've been helping others my entire life, giving all I can, & probably more than I should, & it's just made me feel empty.
I give all this time & energy to help those I care about but I don't always get that feeling of fulfillment, & when I do, it's usually fleeting because the thoughts of why bother & what's the point when nothing really matters anyway are at the forefront of my mind most days
I don't know why I bother anymore except that if I didn't, I would feel immensely guilty for not helping when my friends are in need & even if I can't find meaning or purpose in life, I know that they do
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I've had most of these symptoms for the past 30 years & while I've found momentary distractions from these feelings over the years, I've never found anything that helped me find long term meaning or purpose in life.
Most advice that's given when people go through this is to help others & you'll find meaning & fulfillment through the connections you make with people.
I've been helping others my entire life, giving all I can, & probably more than I should, & it's just made me feel empty.
I give all this time & energy to help those I care about but I don't always get that feeling of fulfillment, & when I do, it's usually fleeting because the thoughts of why bother & what's the point when nothing really matters anyway are at the forefront of my mind most days
I don't know why I bother anymore except that if I didn't, I would feel immensely guilty for not helping when my friends are in need & even if I can't find meaning or purpose in life, I know that they do
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Bar
Well maybe people will not read it, but I will type it anyway.
I suffer from depression, I never take pills because I choose not to, it very easy to get to the loop of sadness because it more easy, I fight with that every day and I keep fighting and the reason is because I find something that is important to me, to help people who suffer they way I am, and to be something that I wanted to be, no one can promise me it will be, but I will do everything to get there.
I try to avoid as much as I can with though like I did not choose to live, but when I try to took my life people make it that big a deal. If you want to find small hope is to start do something that will be your goal, if you don't belive in yourself find friend or someone who will belive in you, that what help me at least, I hope I will help you as well
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Well maybe people will not read it, but I will type it anyway.
I suffer from depression, I never take pills because I choose not to, it very easy to get to the loop of sadness because it more easy, I fight with that every day and I keep fighting and the reason is because I find something that is important to me, to help people who suffer they way I am, and to be something that I wanted to be, no one can promise me it will be, but I will do everything to get there.
I try to avoid as much as I can with though like I did not choose to live, but when I try to took my life people make it that big a deal. If you want to find small hope is to start do something that will be your goal, if you don't belive in yourself find friend or someone who will belive in you, that what help me at least, I hope I will help you as well
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Microwave-San
just my opinion so no reason to read this but i feel like its a little pointless telling people that want to commit self-die that there is a way out. as someone who who experiences pretty much everything in this video on and off all at once (when i start thinking about one thing it just snowballs) I kind of feel called out when a suicide helpline or something is mentioned, which just makes me feel even worse about it and not want to get any help and just want people to leave me alone about it. I'm obviously not saying it isn't worth a shot but im sure im not the only one who feels like it just further decreases the likelihood of myself actually going and getting help. i also spent way to long writing this comment i kept switching tabs to other stuff xd
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just my opinion so no reason to read this but i feel like its a little pointless telling people that want to commit self-die that there is a way out. as someone who who experiences pretty much everything in this video on and off all at once (when i start thinking about one thing it just snowballs) I kind of feel called out when a suicide helpline or something is mentioned, which just makes me feel even worse about it and not want to get any help and just want people to leave me alone about it. I'm obviously not saying it isn't worth a shot but im sure im not the only one who feels like it just further decreases the likelihood of myself actually going and getting help. i also spent way to long writing this comment i kept switching tabs to other stuff xd
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LilasBest
Though I dont think sucidice hotlines or any sort of hotlines help with mental illnesses (my opinion) thank you for putting it in the description anyway cause my friend has been suffering from severe depression and she has recently been talking to me a lot about killing herself or even cutting so I will tell her about the suicide hotlines to see if they will be of any help.
Thank you for also making this video because ive been feeling nothing but sadness and having the feeling of not being good enough for anyone for the last 3 years or so and my mum said it was nothing important, I believed her but after watching this video I realised it wasnt actually nothing important but it was a serious problem so thank you again: )
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Though I dont think sucidice hotlines or any sort of hotlines help with mental illnesses (my opinion) thank you for putting it in the description anyway cause my friend has been suffering from severe depression and she has recently been talking to me a lot about killing herself or even cutting so I will tell her about the suicide hotlines to see if they will be of any help.
Thank you for also making this video because ive been feeling nothing but sadness and having the feeling of not being good enough for anyone for the last 3 years or so and my mum said it was nothing important, I believed her but after watching this video I realised it wasnt actually nothing important but it was a serious problem so thank you again: )
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RedLP5000S
Yup. This is me to a T. Luckily, I have a stubbornness that refuses to let me give up completely. Because of this, I have tried countless treatments to get help such as counseling, pharmaceuticals, partial hospitalization, TMS therapy, and currently ECT. Since my depression is treatment resistant, I knew that desperate measures were needed. Out of everything that I've tried, ECT seems to be the only procedure that has made any modicum of difference. I am well aware that I will never be completely cured, however getting to be accepting of the things that I do not have any control over helps with the monumental burden of existentialism.
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Yup. This is me to a T. Luckily, I have a stubbornness that refuses to let me give up completely. Because of this, I have tried countless treatments to get help such as counseling, pharmaceuticals, partial hospitalization, TMS therapy, and currently ECT. Since my depression is treatment resistant, I knew that desperate measures were needed. Out of everything that I've tried, ECT seems to be the only procedure that has made any modicum of difference. I am well aware that I will never be completely cured, however getting to be accepting of the things that I do not have any control over helps with the monumental burden of existentialism.
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Mani
Truthfully, Im tired of being tired. I want to get help but all these obstacles are in my way and I dont know what to do about it. I have a problem with trusting people too, even my own family. Meaning I could never open up to any of them. Ive tired and it just got pushed under the rug. I dont like seeming weak to the people around me. I try distracting myself from all this pain but most of the time it just leaks out or makes me extremely anxious because I know the balance has to to tip one way or the either. Eh I dont really know.
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Truthfully, Im tired of being tired. I want to get help but all these obstacles are in my way and I dont know what to do about it. I have a problem with trusting people too, even my own family. Meaning I could never open up to any of them. Ive tired and it just got pushed under the rug. I dont like seeming weak to the people around me. I try distracting myself from all this pain but most of the time it just leaks out or makes me extremely anxious because I know the balance has to to tip one way or the either. Eh I dont really know.
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Mika
The thing is that I'm related to all of this point but not even my doctor diagnostic me as depressive, I fell into this hole and I feel like no one will ever understand me, these last days are even harder and thinking of the suicide is like so often that I imagine scenarios in my head to know how to kill myself, only the fear of dying stop me, I just don't know why I'm alive I can't imagine a better scenario than never existing, at the point of my life there are not even good reasons for me to live, everything is bad
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The thing is that I'm related to all of this point but not even my doctor diagnostic me as depressive, I fell into this hole and I feel like no one will ever understand me, these last days are even harder and thinking of the suicide is like so often that I imagine scenarios in my head to know how to kill myself, only the fear of dying stop me, I just don't know why I'm alive I can't imagine a better scenario than never existing, at the point of my life there are not even good reasons for me to live, everything is bad
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Stephen
I dont so much struggle with ideation as regard it as an old acquaintance. Ive dealt with it for 40+ years. Ive pictured it so many different ways in my head thatnot unlike Phil Connors, Im not even sure I exist anymore.
A very specific choice has been made countless times, allowing me to leave this comment.
How do I keep going? To-do list. Its never empty, and if I cant make myself do something on it, its easy enough to find something that somebody else screwed up and fix that instead.
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I dont so much struggle with ideation as regard it as an old acquaintance. Ive dealt with it for 40+ years. Ive pictured it so many different ways in my head thatnot unlike Phil Connors, Im not even sure I exist anymore.
A very specific choice has been made countless times, allowing me to leave this comment.
How do I keep going? To-do list. Its never empty, and if I cant make myself do something on it, its easy enough to find something that somebody else screwed up and fix that instead.
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Janine
I think i finally found the answer for my mood, recently i been feeling like this and i asked myself okay but what am i feeling sadness? anger? anxiety? and the answer was no im just not feeling nothing everything is pointless i dont have motivation to do something with my life because i just dont care about nothing, is such a horrible sensation because no matter what i do i feel empty i dont even feel sadness, it makes me feel like im not a normal human being
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I think i finally found the answer for my mood, recently i been feeling like this and i asked myself okay but what am i feeling sadness? anger? anxiety? and the answer was no im just not feeling nothing everything is pointless i dont have motivation to do something with my life because i just dont care about nothing, is such a horrible sensation because no matter what i do i feel empty i dont even feel sadness, it makes me feel like im not a normal human being
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Psych2Go
May is Mental Health Awareness month. And as May is coming to an end, we want to release this video to continue raise awareness that we should take care of our mental health. If you feel that your mental health has been declining as of late, we recommend you start seeking professional help or make the necessary changes to your habits.
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May is Mental Health Awareness month. And as May is coming to an end, we want to release this video to continue raise awareness that we should take care of our mental health. If you feel that your mental health has been declining as of late, we recommend you start seeking professional help or make the necessary changes to your habits.
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GrumpyToadGaming
I hate existential crises. Every single time I always think way too deep and my mind just triggers what I can only describe as feeling like a self-destruct sequence, trying to cease every and all thoughts I'm having (be they related or unrelated) and even the urge to drop out of consciousness. Hate 'em, dude.
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I hate existential crises. Every single time I always think way too deep and my mind just triggers what I can only describe as feeling like a self-destruct sequence, trying to cease every and all thoughts I'm having (be they related or unrelated) and even the urge to drop out of consciousness. Hate 'em, dude.
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Oarabile
I always knew I was depressed but couldn't entirely relate to any type of depression I'd heard of except major depression(which is a broad term. I really wanted to know WHY I felt so pessimistic about life's reality, myself and how I fit into the world. Now I know I have existential depression.
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I always knew I was depressed but couldn't entirely relate to any type of depression I'd heard of except major depression(which is a broad term. I really wanted to know WHY I felt so pessimistic about life's reality, myself and how I fit into the world. Now I know I have existential depression.
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SneakS847TV
Right now you all might not understand, but we need you more then ever I don't mind you bother me all the time you got this we got this together we will stand to get every evil that's killing and hurting our parents and loved ones we need you though always remember we all need each other.
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Right now you all might not understand, but we need you more then ever I don't mind you bother me all the time you got this we got this together we will stand to get every evil that's killing and hurting our parents and loved ones we need you though always remember we all need each other.
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education
she explained me in this entire video, even- the ending of my story and I am so scared everyday- I want to talk to people but I just cant, I go away from others- it hurts to know I wont talk back to people when they maybe say something to me. I really wish I was better, I wish I was good.
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she explained me in this entire video, even- the ending of my story and I am so scared everyday- I want to talk to people but I just cant, I go away from others- it hurts to know I wont talk back to people when they maybe say something to me. I really wish I was better, I wish I was good.
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Nikki
I feel like I relate to this whole video and I just wanted to see this if I might have depression so I guess I might. Comparing yourself to others or calling people perfect because they look like they have a lot of friends and a happy life in general was one of the most common things for me.
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I feel like I relate to this whole video and I just wanted to see this if I might have depression so I guess I might. Comparing yourself to others or calling people perfect because they look like they have a lot of friends and a happy life in general was one of the most common things for me.
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lionstarwolf
In my 12-13 I felt depressed because I suffered and still suffer existential crisis and I was feeling very alone because I kept looking for someone with my point of view. I think I'm over that but even though I'm not much depressed I still suffer from existential crisis
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In my 12-13 I felt depressed because I suffered and still suffer existential crisis and I was feeling very alone because I kept looking for someone with my point of view. I think I'm over that but even though I'm not much depressed I still suffer from existential crisis
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BEATRIX
talking to someone abt my mental health.
parents: I haven't talk to them i think i would never talk to them abt mental health bc i think they're the type to say it's bc of that phone, liar so yeahh.
therapist: I can't afford that.
friends: I don't have one.
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talking to someone abt my mental health.
parents: I haven't talk to them i think i would never talk to them abt mental health bc i think they're the type to say it's bc of that phone, liar so yeahh.
therapist: I can't afford that.
friends: I don't have one.
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Zerx
I try to talk and reach out to people, but no one wants to seem to help me. I try and better myself, but nothing seems to actually work in the end. I really wish I had people to talk to in my life but everyone just seems to not care about me and I feel so unloved.
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I try to talk and reach out to people, but no one wants to seem to help me. I try and better myself, but nothing seems to actually work in the end. I really wish I had people to talk to in my life but everyone just seems to not care about me and I feel so unloved.
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Amanda
Except for suicidal feelings (never even occurred to me) every other point is bang on. I wish I had known about this video last October when I began sinking into existential depression. Ive gone through a lot of it now, working on the rest. Thank you for this.
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Except for suicidal feelings (never even occurred to me) every other point is bang on. I wish I had known about this video last October when I began sinking into existential depression. Ive gone through a lot of it now, working on the rest. Thank you for this.
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