Signs You Were Raised by Narcissist Parents
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Tamashii
Number 5 hits me harder than it should. I have narcissistic parents and they always make me obedience and put others before me so they can look good in others' eyes. If we have a guest over and that guest bring children who destroy my stuffs, they won't even scold the children and instead forcing me to forgive whatever the guests do to me or my stuffs. They force me to endure bullying so they don't have to go through the trouble of standing up for me or making them look bad in front of others' parents. I hate them so much and I still cannot forgive them for what they did to me. Anyone who has loving parents keep telling me why I am not nice to my parents and they assume that my parents are such loving and good parents. People judge and force you to behave the way they think you should behave without even knowing what you've been through and sometimes, some people really push me to the point that I want to destroy their lives too, in order to see what they will react if someone do the same to them. My parents really ruined my psyche and good image of people. I grow up thinking anyone is pretentious and taking advantage of me or trying to harm me in any way. I still cannot trust anyone completely that's why I have only 1-2 friends. There are days when I think if my parents suffer more, then I can finally be content and satisfied. I once had this heavy feeling in my chest, thinking that they were torturing me for their own amuse, not raising me properly like they should, like I'm actually their enemy's child, because no parents should treat their child like a property they own. But my parents did and I despise them so much.
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Number 5 hits me harder than it should. I have narcissistic parents and they always make me obedience and put others before me so they can look good in others' eyes. If we have a guest over and that guest bring children who destroy my stuffs, they won't even scold the children and instead forcing me to forgive whatever the guests do to me or my stuffs. They force me to endure bullying so they don't have to go through the trouble of standing up for me or making them look bad in front of others' parents. I hate them so much and I still cannot forgive them for what they did to me. Anyone who has loving parents keep telling me why I am not nice to my parents and they assume that my parents are such loving and good parents. People judge and force you to behave the way they think you should behave without even knowing what you've been through and sometimes, some people really push me to the point that I want to destroy their lives too, in order to see what they will react if someone do the same to them. My parents really ruined my psyche and good image of people. I grow up thinking anyone is pretentious and taking advantage of me or trying to harm me in any way. I still cannot trust anyone completely that's why I have only 1-2 friends. There are days when I think if my parents suffer more, then I can finally be content and satisfied. I once had this heavy feeling in my chest, thinking that they were torturing me for their own amuse, not raising me properly like they should, like I'm actually their enemy's child, because no parents should treat their child like a property they own. But my parents did and I despise them so much.
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pajamas
I have a very complicated case of a narcissistic mother that unfortunately I still live with. As a result of her abuse Ive been struggling with self isolation for over 10 years now and am only just beginning to come out of my bubble. We live in a retirement based neighborhood and so Im surrounded by people not even close to my age of 31. Everyone I talk to raves about how kind and caring and great my mother is and how she volunteers at the local animal shelter. It took SO long for me to realize that shes like that for everyone else, but for me she is controlling, perfectionist and extremely critical of my hobbies. I used to draw all the time and posted stuff online, but for 4 years now I havent felt like drawing anything and it wasnt till 3 weeks ago that I even picked up a pencil or sketch pad. I used to get so excited about how much progress I made and would show off my stuff to her only to be told oh thats nice, but why is it so weird? Or why did you draw that? Make something cuter.
I had a therapist that truly understood me and helped me to respect and appreciate myself. For once she told me that she was in my corner not my moms. But because my mom paid the bills I was made to stop seeing her because she didnt say hello to my mom in the waiting room. So she was rude and to this day my mom says she hates her. Its just exhausting and Im always tired. Ive finally gained the confidence to look for another therapist on my own and to draw whatever the hell I want. Im still constantly evading her, but hopefully soon I can move away.
Thank you so much for helping me feel like Im validated.
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I have a very complicated case of a narcissistic mother that unfortunately I still live with. As a result of her abuse Ive been struggling with self isolation for over 10 years now and am only just beginning to come out of my bubble. We live in a retirement based neighborhood and so Im surrounded by people not even close to my age of 31. Everyone I talk to raves about how kind and caring and great my mother is and how she volunteers at the local animal shelter. It took SO long for me to realize that shes like that for everyone else, but for me she is controlling, perfectionist and extremely critical of my hobbies. I used to draw all the time and posted stuff online, but for 4 years now I havent felt like drawing anything and it wasnt till 3 weeks ago that I even picked up a pencil or sketch pad. I used to get so excited about how much progress I made and would show off my stuff to her only to be told oh thats nice, but why is it so weird? Or why did you draw that? Make something cuter.
I had a therapist that truly understood me and helped me to respect and appreciate myself. For once she told me that she was in my corner not my moms. But because my mom paid the bills I was made to stop seeing her because she didnt say hello to my mom in the waiting room. So she was rude and to this day my mom says she hates her. Its just exhausting and Im always tired. Ive finally gained the confidence to look for another therapist on my own and to draw whatever the hell I want. Im still constantly evading her, but hopefully soon I can move away.
Thank you so much for helping me feel like Im validated.
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Mrjamjam
The moment you free yourself and cut all contact with the narc and anyone who has contact with the narc youll finally be able to become the person you were always destined to become.
Its a lot to take on at first as lets face it narc parents dont prepare you for life in any way shape or form, it does get better but only when you free yourself first.
Have faith in yourself and understand that healing and growth is a process that can be longer or shorter for some depending on their own circumstances so dont be hard on yourself and dont compare yourself to others.
Youll be alright in the end, all the hard work that you will do will be worth it and youll thank your younger self for never giving up even when it seems unbearable.
Happiness is 100% possible in a life post narc abuse i can promise you that from personal experience, dont be afraid to ask for help from professionals as you didnt get into this situation on your own and help from others makes it a whole lot easier to get out of that deep dark pit it may feel like you are stuck in.
Theres plenty of good in the world and life is truly beautiful and wonderful even if it doesnt seem like it now.
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The moment you free yourself and cut all contact with the narc and anyone who has contact with the narc youll finally be able to become the person you were always destined to become.
Its a lot to take on at first as lets face it narc parents dont prepare you for life in any way shape or form, it does get better but only when you free yourself first.
Have faith in yourself and understand that healing and growth is a process that can be longer or shorter for some depending on their own circumstances so dont be hard on yourself and dont compare yourself to others.
Youll be alright in the end, all the hard work that you will do will be worth it and youll thank your younger self for never giving up even when it seems unbearable.
Happiness is 100% possible in a life post narc abuse i can promise you that from personal experience, dont be afraid to ask for help from professionals as you didnt get into this situation on your own and help from others makes it a whole lot easier to get out of that deep dark pit it may feel like you are stuck in.
Theres plenty of good in the world and life is truly beautiful and wonderful even if it doesnt seem like it now.
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Kyn
Narcissistic parents (np) think of relationships as what can you do for me. But the opposite of what can the np do for the child is not considered. The child is conditioned to feel guilty when breaking away, becoming independent and cutting ties.
Many games are played by the np to make the child feel inadequate. When the child stops performing for the np it is time to make the child feel worse or to throw that child away. Although, when the np gets bored they might return to see what that child can provide again.
A good parent loves the child unconditionally and encourages the child to be independent with realistic expectations, good values and skills.
The np is a parasite.
The child suffers from all sorts of trauma. That trauma makes most feel helpless and for a tiny number excel in some endevour as to not feel helpless again. But, make no mistake about it, that trauma will always be there regardless of outward success. There is no way to be happy with that trauma.
If at some point, the awareness is achieved and the child can let go of most of the damage caused some contentment is achievable.
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Narcissistic parents (np) think of relationships as what can you do for me. But the opposite of what can the np do for the child is not considered. The child is conditioned to feel guilty when breaking away, becoming independent and cutting ties.
Many games are played by the np to make the child feel inadequate. When the child stops performing for the np it is time to make the child feel worse or to throw that child away. Although, when the np gets bored they might return to see what that child can provide again.
A good parent loves the child unconditionally and encourages the child to be independent with realistic expectations, good values and skills.
The np is a parasite.
The child suffers from all sorts of trauma. That trauma makes most feel helpless and for a tiny number excel in some endevour as to not feel helpless again. But, make no mistake about it, that trauma will always be there regardless of outward success. There is no way to be happy with that trauma.
If at some point, the awareness is achieved and the child can let go of most of the damage caused some contentment is achievable.
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Bryan
My father started almost yearly fistfights with me and seemed to love the phrase We brought you into this world and we can take you back out.
My mother for a number of years had the habit of trying to take plates of food literally out from under me, even if it was the only thing I'd grabbed to eat all day. That stopped when I tried to stab my mother with a fork. Neither of them were supportive in any way and talked me out of everything I'd ever wanted to do with my life. Now I'm married to someone who has had to deal with the same nonsense and we're both currently dealing with it via my wife's mother, who just the other day threatened to call the police on me for taking a bag of trash to our outside bins and not being interested in hearing her flip out for no reason when I came back in. After a certain amount of time, just like with my own parents, dealing with that narcissism over long periods of time becomes less and less emotionally taxing and more about annoyed frustration. Because every day I have to put up with it is like sitting on a crowded plane full of screaming children.
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My father started almost yearly fistfights with me and seemed to love the phrase We brought you into this world and we can take you back out.
My mother for a number of years had the habit of trying to take plates of food literally out from under me, even if it was the only thing I'd grabbed to eat all day. That stopped when I tried to stab my mother with a fork. Neither of them were supportive in any way and talked me out of everything I'd ever wanted to do with my life. Now I'm married to someone who has had to deal with the same nonsense and we're both currently dealing with it via my wife's mother, who just the other day threatened to call the police on me for taking a bag of trash to our outside bins and not being interested in hearing her flip out for no reason when I came back in. After a certain amount of time, just like with my own parents, dealing with that narcissism over long periods of time becomes less and less emotionally taxing and more about annoyed frustration. Because every day I have to put up with it is like sitting on a crowded plane full of screaming children.
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Anders
It doesnt make it better being born as a middle child, and the game is over. Nothing i do is enough to impress my parents anymore, because my siblings always come first, and their mere existence is enough to get attention and support.
My family can bite me.
My big brother was always allowed to go on adventures. My sister was always allowed to have friends over. I was denied both, so now i rarely go out, and have only a little circle of friends now.
Thats what my parents wanted for me. To not develop, and to not become anything in life. They have never actually genuinely cared about me or my wellbeing. I have always been, and i still am a burden to the family.
No wonder i dont care i rarely see my parents, call or even text them, after i moved out 5 years ago.
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It doesnt make it better being born as a middle child, and the game is over. Nothing i do is enough to impress my parents anymore, because my siblings always come first, and their mere existence is enough to get attention and support.
My family can bite me.
My big brother was always allowed to go on adventures. My sister was always allowed to have friends over. I was denied both, so now i rarely go out, and have only a little circle of friends now.
Thats what my parents wanted for me. To not develop, and to not become anything in life. They have never actually genuinely cared about me or my wellbeing. I have always been, and i still am a burden to the family.
No wonder i dont care i rarely see my parents, call or even text them, after i moved out 5 years ago.
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Wild
I know someone who, very likely according to this video, suffered from narcissistic abus coming from their parents. She still suffers because of it. I advised her to reach for the help of a professional, since I witnessed a lot of pain. Problem: she got to see a professional, chosen by her parents, and it seems this professional is listening more to the parents than her. I don't think I can do anything to help, I tried. She currently is still somewhat bound to her parents since they are still paying for mostly everything she needs (she's a student. I wonder what I should do if I should do anything. All I can say is that, I consider their relationship as toxic and unhealthy, that she suffers a lot from this. She needsto be helped and I'm not competent or able to.
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I know someone who, very likely according to this video, suffered from narcissistic abus coming from their parents. She still suffers because of it. I advised her to reach for the help of a professional, since I witnessed a lot of pain. Problem: she got to see a professional, chosen by her parents, and it seems this professional is listening more to the parents than her. I don't think I can do anything to help, I tried. She currently is still somewhat bound to her parents since they are still paying for mostly everything she needs (she's a student. I wonder what I should do if I should do anything. All I can say is that, I consider their relationship as toxic and unhealthy, that she suffers a lot from this. She needsto be helped and I'm not competent or able to.
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education
A few days ago, I was hanging out with my mom, and I was telling her about my day. She didnt seem like she was paying attention, so I asked, mama? Are you listening? And she replyed with, oh, sorry I got distracted by how fat you are. You should diet more, you look ugly.
The thing is, she calls he fat a lot, and when I told her to stop and that it makes me feel bad, she said why? If I dont tell you this, who will?
Shes on a business trip in another state rn, and Im kinda happy shes not home. I feel like I an be myself and not be judged, but when she comes over for a visit, she just judges me more. I dont know what to do about it, I dont want to be rude to her, but I dont want her to be rude to me, either.
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A few days ago, I was hanging out with my mom, and I was telling her about my day. She didnt seem like she was paying attention, so I asked, mama? Are you listening? And she replyed with, oh, sorry I got distracted by how fat you are. You should diet more, you look ugly.
The thing is, she calls he fat a lot, and when I told her to stop and that it makes me feel bad, she said why? If I dont tell you this, who will?
Shes on a business trip in another state rn, and Im kinda happy shes not home. I feel like I an be myself and not be judged, but when she comes over for a visit, she just judges me more. I dont know what to do about it, I dont want to be rude to her, but I dont want her to be rude to me, either.
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Marlene
Any time i didnt want to try something i knew i probably wouldn't like they would say you dont know whats good anytime i didnt like some or want to try it and i never really spoke up to my parents since they werent really always there just working and i had to learn to problem-solving not by them but by what school taught having trouble in home talk to a counsler but then the counsler tells your parent meaning theres. Really no way to avoid talking to a parent, but you should trust a parent how? If there not there all the time to really build a bond even if they have good intentions I dont know i havent know them so long to know they might not do something.
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Any time i didnt want to try something i knew i probably wouldn't like they would say you dont know whats good anytime i didnt like some or want to try it and i never really spoke up to my parents since they werent really always there just working and i had to learn to problem-solving not by them but by what school taught having trouble in home talk to a counsler but then the counsler tells your parent meaning theres. Really no way to avoid talking to a parent, but you should trust a parent how? If there not there all the time to really build a bond even if they have good intentions I dont know i havent know them so long to know they might not do something.
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education
It's been less than 2 years since I've started living away (no contact. Not only did my depressive episodes lessen, my life and career have slowly taken off since then. I never needed to walk on eggshells or look for any sign of approval - because whatever I did was either not enough or it was wrong. If I hadn't taken the big step I'd have still been stuck back there, crying most nights to sleep. I'm still healing, and I don't know how long it will take to finally shake off the bouts of worthlessness despite what I've achieved so far. but progress is progress. I can do what I do with my head held high.
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It's been less than 2 years since I've started living away (no contact. Not only did my depressive episodes lessen, my life and career have slowly taken off since then. I never needed to walk on eggshells or look for any sign of approval - because whatever I did was either not enough or it was wrong. If I hadn't taken the big step I'd have still been stuck back there, crying most nights to sleep. I'm still healing, and I don't know how long it will take to finally shake off the bouts of worthlessness despite what I've achieved so far. but progress is progress. I can do what I do with my head held high.
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Statos
I came from an dysfunctional family. In early age I've to be the dad many times. Dad acknowledge before he died that he needed listen more to my advise and I forgive him. I apologized him, as he apologized what I did to him. It was wonderful last years of my life. But my mom I had to break of any contact with her, because she never could accept it that she was wrong, always told me that she raised me and etc, etc. I went trough serval years therapy and know I'm in my life that I feelin good about my self.
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I came from an dysfunctional family. In early age I've to be the dad many times. Dad acknowledge before he died that he needed listen more to my advise and I forgive him. I apologized him, as he apologized what I did to him. It was wonderful last years of my life. But my mom I had to break of any contact with her, because she never could accept it that she was wrong, always told me that she raised me and etc, etc. I went trough serval years therapy and know I'm in my life that I feelin good about my self.
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Liam
Is a Narcissistic parent someone who always complains and argues with you when you make a bad choice you rarely do like mouthing off at a Customer at work while pushing and pulling trolley's even when you weren't the one who started the mouthing off? And is a Narcissistic parent someone who forces their 21 year old son to stay home and not go and play basketball early in the morning before work even when their Son remembers to get to work on time?
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Is a Narcissistic parent someone who always complains and argues with you when you make a bad choice you rarely do like mouthing off at a Customer at work while pushing and pulling trolley's even when you weren't the one who started the mouthing off? And is a Narcissistic parent someone who forces their 21 year old son to stay home and not go and play basketball early in the morning before work even when their Son remembers to get to work on time?
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Garrett
I have dealt with a narcissistic stepmother for the past several years. She not only does this to me but also to my father. She has decided that my father is the main antagonist in her life and that I am an extension of him, so she tends to take her anger at him out on me or vice versa. The way she treats my father is absolutely sickening. Im so grateful that he is finally going through with a divorce.
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I have dealt with a narcissistic stepmother for the past several years. She not only does this to me but also to my father. She has decided that my father is the main antagonist in her life and that I am an extension of him, so she tends to take her anger at him out on me or vice versa. The way she treats my father is absolutely sickening. Im so grateful that he is finally going through with a divorce.
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Craig
I remember being around my father was quite Narcissistic, the last time I was in his presence before he died. He was in a convalescent hospital but he wanted me the care take him, I basically told him he should have a professional do that because it's not my skill set. Unless I'm attempting first aid I'm much more useful calling and somebody that knows what they're doing with an elderly disabled person.
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I remember being around my father was quite Narcissistic, the last time I was in his presence before he died. He was in a convalescent hospital but he wanted me the care take him, I basically told him he should have a professional do that because it's not my skill set. Unless I'm attempting first aid I'm much more useful calling and somebody that knows what they're doing with an elderly disabled person.
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SeliSmiley
I just realised two years ago that my mom was narcissistic she made my brother and me work till we were completely exhausted bc nothing in life is for free
For the longest time i had to find somehow an identity for myself bc all i ever did was work.
Still finding myself. For my brother its a little harder bc he still lives with her and he is so belittled that he cant see how shes using him.
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I just realised two years ago that my mom was narcissistic she made my brother and me work till we were completely exhausted bc nothing in life is for free
For the longest time i had to find somehow an identity for myself bc all i ever did was work.
Still finding myself. For my brother its a little harder bc he still lives with her and he is so belittled that he cant see how shes using him.
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Kodi
Unfortunately, I was luckily aware that my parents turned out to be narcissists at a very young age, and had grown to ignore their beliefs and belittling. I decided to disown my dad simply due to the fact that he was, and still is, too draining than useful for my mental and physical health aside from my mother. She too is a narcissist, but she gave me enough reason to keep her in contacts.
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Unfortunately, I was luckily aware that my parents turned out to be narcissists at a very young age, and had grown to ignore their beliefs and belittling. I decided to disown my dad simply due to the fact that he was, and still is, too draining than useful for my mental and physical health aside from my mother. She too is a narcissist, but she gave me enough reason to keep her in contacts.
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FlameIsExisting
I hate the fact i had to become the parent. I quite literally do everything, and my mom has the audacity to say I have to do everything around this house! She doesn't aknowledge my biological dad. I say im depressed and i'm yelled at for that feeling. My mom says Why don't you talk to us? Yet whenever i talk I'm met with silence or oh, hm. I'm quite tired of it honestly
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I hate the fact i had to become the parent. I quite literally do everything, and my mom has the audacity to say I have to do everything around this house! She doesn't aknowledge my biological dad. I say im depressed and i'm yelled at for that feeling. My mom says Why don't you talk to us? Yet whenever i talk I'm met with silence or oh, hm. I'm quite tired of it honestly
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Sara
That woman who is the foster ''mother'' (myself I call her as witch)
She keeps opening my room door. she says that I'm isolating myself, that I'm doing something wrong, that I'm in a locked hole, that she'll take the door off if I close it, that I have no right to close it because she says so. .
A normal mother would knock on the door and ask me if she could come in. right?
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That woman who is the foster ''mother'' (myself I call her as witch)
She keeps opening my room door. she says that I'm isolating myself, that I'm doing something wrong, that I'm in a locked hole, that she'll take the door off if I close it, that I have no right to close it because she says so. .
A normal mother would knock on the door and ask me if she could come in. right?
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M3LiHah
Why does that very much sound like my mother?
I am unsure, Im not stating that she is narcissistic though I am pointing out that the described things in the video do sound very much like my mother.
I do hate that she pressures me and the she accuses me of things but still its my fault Im too lazy and honestly I cant really change anything, its just how I was born?
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Why does that very much sound like my mother?
I am unsure, Im not stating that she is narcissistic though I am pointing out that the described things in the video do sound very much like my mother.
I do hate that she pressures me and the she accuses me of things but still its my fault Im too lazy and honestly I cant really change anything, its just how I was born?
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psych2go
Yeah, thats both of them, mother and daddy And for 32 years, I thought I was the problem, I just could never figure out what the hell I was doing wrong I live by myself and I literally have no one but my parents because for some reason people just kept leaving me and I never knew why or what I did to make everyone that USED to be in my life not be in my life anymore
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Yeah, thats both of them, mother and daddy And for 32 years, I thought I was the problem, I just could never figure out what the hell I was doing wrong I live by myself and I literally have no one but my parents because for some reason people just kept leaving me and I never knew why or what I did to make everyone that USED to be in my life not be in my life anymore
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Prince
I was abused by both of my parents physically and mentally and never had a say. To this day I feel liek a burden to everything. My social anxiety is bad because I feel like everything I say is wrong and just dont feel liek my voice is heard. Thats why Im so used to being in my room and everyone ask all the time why do you stay in your room all day?
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I was abused by both of my parents physically and mentally and never had a say. To this day I feel liek a burden to everything. My social anxiety is bad because I feel like everything I say is wrong and just dont feel liek my voice is heard. Thats why Im so used to being in my room and everyone ask all the time why do you stay in your room all day?
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Chemtech
Her: lets watch an emotional drama
Me: Shows her Psych2Go videos
Also aside from #2 ye, I been ordered 10 days suicide watch first time I visited psychologist not so long ago, even though I wasn't contemplating suicide or been particularly emotional about this. But the psychologist said severe depression + mild autism is one hell of a combo
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Her: lets watch an emotional drama
Me: Shows her Psych2Go videos
Also aside from #2 ye, I been ordered 10 days suicide watch first time I visited psychologist not so long ago, even though I wasn't contemplating suicide or been particularly emotional about this. But the psychologist said severe depression + mild autism is one hell of a combo
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RON209
As an only child of both Narcissistic Parents I was blamed for all Things going wrong in their life
They blamed me for their failed relationship
My Mother had a huge crush on her sisters husband and she Flirted with him Shamelessly and openly which Triggered my Father and my Father used to take out all that Rage and Frustations on me
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As an only child of both Narcissistic Parents I was blamed for all Things going wrong in their life
They blamed me for their failed relationship
My Mother had a huge crush on her sisters husband and she Flirted with him Shamelessly and openly which Triggered my Father and my Father used to take out all that Rage and Frustations on me
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playmobilbus
I happily check all seven boxes! (Sarcasm) Unfortunately, I am still in this situation and it will take long before I can start the healing process. I could stand up for myself, and win a lot for myself, but I'll also lose a lot in the process, in this case: a roof above my head.
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I happily check all seven boxes! (Sarcasm) Unfortunately, I am still in this situation and it will take long before I can start the healing process. I could stand up for myself, and win a lot for myself, but I'll also lose a lot in the process, in this case: a roof above my head.
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Felicia
I can relate on 04: 06 so much. I have been dealing with some kind of sick joke people told me at school that I actually hate it and really make me sad. I want to tell my parents but voice in my head keep telling me that I'm just being over dramatic.
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I can relate on 04: 06 so much. I have been dealing with some kind of sick joke people told me at school that I actually hate it and really make me sad. I want to tell my parents but voice in my head keep telling me that I'm just being over dramatic.
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