4 Reasons Why You Can't Leave a Toxic Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Pirate
Ever since I joined secondary school, I have had this friend. At first, she seemed alright. Just a normal friend you'd make on your first day of school, is what I thought.
My twin brother even hanged out with her too, but that is when toxicity began to form. When she asked him for a pen or something he'd always lend one to her but she'd hide it behind her face. My brother would always have to confront her about it and then she would give it back. Apparently one lesson while he was watching a video she dug her hand in his pencil case and tried to steal something. Thankfully she didn't manage to steal anything. But just recently she successfully stole something from him. I immediately confronted her about it when my brother told me, at first she said she gave it back (which she didn't, then she said that she gave it to someone else (she is definitely lieing at this point. And then she came out with a I don't know. During lessons I find her using the exact same pen my brother owned.
That's not all. She always brags about her maths, science and history. At first I was applauding her. But soon enough, she was talking about herself all of the time. I got annoyed about it and all I could do was go along with it. I still do to this day. But anyways, she lies about her test scores and always tells me how good she is. Once she got 13/20 (which is alright) but suddenly she was bragging to me about how she got 19/20. It's okay if you want to lie about your score, but if she's gonna brag to me about it I can't accept that. Plus, she cheats in her history tests which is comepletely okay as long as she doesn't torment me about it. Unfortunately she did. She was like I got 34/34 on my history test. I had to act surprised because I am long-sighted and I could see that she was cheating.
That's all. I want to leave her but I don't know how to tell her. I'm sorry for the random vent, i just needed to get it off of my chest.
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Ever since I joined secondary school, I have had this friend. At first, she seemed alright. Just a normal friend you'd make on your first day of school, is what I thought.
My twin brother even hanged out with her too, but that is when toxicity began to form. When she asked him for a pen or something he'd always lend one to her but she'd hide it behind her face. My brother would always have to confront her about it and then she would give it back. Apparently one lesson while he was watching a video she dug her hand in his pencil case and tried to steal something. Thankfully she didn't manage to steal anything. But just recently she successfully stole something from him. I immediately confronted her about it when my brother told me, at first she said she gave it back (which she didn't, then she said that she gave it to someone else (she is definitely lieing at this point. And then she came out with a I don't know. During lessons I find her using the exact same pen my brother owned.
That's not all. She always brags about her maths, science and history. At first I was applauding her. But soon enough, she was talking about herself all of the time. I got annoyed about it and all I could do was go along with it. I still do to this day. But anyways, she lies about her test scores and always tells me how good she is. Once she got 13/20 (which is alright) but suddenly she was bragging to me about how she got 19/20. It's okay if you want to lie about your score, but if she's gonna brag to me about it I can't accept that. Plus, she cheats in her history tests which is comepletely okay as long as she doesn't torment me about it. Unfortunately she did. She was like I got 34/34 on my history test. I had to act surprised because I am long-sighted and I could see that she was cheating.
That's all. I want to leave her but I don't know how to tell her. I'm sorry for the random vent, i just needed to get it off of my chest.
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Maryam
It's also how much of yourself you've put into that person/relationship. You sacrifice so much for them that you start changing, you re no longer happy, able to focus, etc. And only your partner knows of these sacrifices and you might feel or they might promise you that they'll return all of that to you later, based on the fact that they emotionally drain you by making you belive that THEY are th victim, the broken pigeon in need of urgent care and once you've healed them it'll be your turn and their heald self is strong enough to bring back what you've lost for them. Suffice to say, that'll never happen, it'll never be your turn and they'll just keep draining more out of you. So really, you're attached to yourself that you've lost in this relationship, not them. You might even tell yourselves that you've lost way too much to wall out of that relationship so you're waiting to be paid back and then YOU'LL be the one that breaks up with them. Again, it won't happen and you'll just keep losing more which I know is painful as hell but think of it this way, losing a million dollars is better than losing 2 millions. Your million won't be paid back because that person took them and used them to build their life, it's no longer liquidated. Hope this helps the falsely hopeful people out there who are afraid to lose their sense of identity.
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It's also how much of yourself you've put into that person/relationship. You sacrifice so much for them that you start changing, you re no longer happy, able to focus, etc. And only your partner knows of these sacrifices and you might feel or they might promise you that they'll return all of that to you later, based on the fact that they emotionally drain you by making you belive that THEY are th victim, the broken pigeon in need of urgent care and once you've healed them it'll be your turn and their heald self is strong enough to bring back what you've lost for them. Suffice to say, that'll never happen, it'll never be your turn and they'll just keep draining more out of you. So really, you're attached to yourself that you've lost in this relationship, not them. You might even tell yourselves that you've lost way too much to wall out of that relationship so you're waiting to be paid back and then YOU'LL be the one that breaks up with them. Again, it won't happen and you'll just keep losing more which I know is painful as hell but think of it this way, losing a million dollars is better than losing 2 millions. Your million won't be paid back because that person took them and used them to build their life, it's no longer liquidated. Hope this helps the falsely hopeful people out there who are afraid to lose their sense of identity.
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Ryan
Oceans echoes uncanny valley bouts waveforms projections overwrite cutting backroom floor shenanigans whirrs wally plays pattycakes zounds one hand shadowboxy blursed blackbox baka besty furs beatsemups contesty gits wot wants mash oot how to b losty dark artes appreciation courses dat ded err dusty maido looky wots up knocky doon bads punchylines routines nuffins floop d fool returns d slab process moving dreams overactvate illmaggotnation hallucinations ood distraction theys kinda paranoid too ya err pheromone neurotoxin phenomenon effective affection whirrs microfractue vibes amplification tood filter fuzz feels squelchy volumes rando encounters possibly blip bleep radar friction function whirrs vee a ood sensation ood tension lifespan ood mental constructs err like a fiend zones oot instincts impulses autonomic muscle memories otto pilot ago guessing games play itty wits awkward awful practice idfk powerplay off switch when done err tiny details off popular idea notty so intuitive marr meh blankly oot o expression wurd play bouts ood position proximity differ vantage tally tilt heads wins tails ya lose toss coin to bard so professional plays meh oot prop up jukebox tones notes shivers tasty testy flying colours winds whiff whirrs sum eaty bit nya sojourneys
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Oceans echoes uncanny valley bouts waveforms projections overwrite cutting backroom floor shenanigans whirrs wally plays pattycakes zounds one hand shadowboxy blursed blackbox baka besty furs beatsemups contesty gits wot wants mash oot how to b losty dark artes appreciation courses dat ded err dusty maido looky wots up knocky doon bads punchylines routines nuffins floop d fool returns d slab process moving dreams overactvate illmaggotnation hallucinations ood distraction theys kinda paranoid too ya err pheromone neurotoxin phenomenon effective affection whirrs microfractue vibes amplification tood filter fuzz feels squelchy volumes rando encounters possibly blip bleep radar friction function whirrs vee a ood sensation ood tension lifespan ood mental constructs err like a fiend zones oot instincts impulses autonomic muscle memories otto pilot ago guessing games play itty wits awkward awful practice idfk powerplay off switch when done err tiny details off popular idea notty so intuitive marr meh blankly oot o expression wurd play bouts ood position proximity differ vantage tally tilt heads wins tails ya lose toss coin to bard so professional plays meh oot prop up jukebox tones notes shivers tasty testy flying colours winds whiff whirrs sum eaty bit nya sojourneys
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Orion
1. Im emotionally detached from my abuser
2. My self-esteem has never been stronger
3. I dont fear change; I thrive on change
4. My abuser is unwaveringly manipulative
The reason Im stuck in a toxic dynamic is because I genuinely have nowhere else to go, no-one else to whom I can turn, and nothing else upon which I can fall back without losing one or more basic human rights in the process (shelter being the most likely loss.
And this is after _five years_ of trying and failing to make it work, and a constant cycle of rejection and turning away from those who are meant to provide help in a crisis, yet are unable to meet my specific needs.
And now my most recent attempt to have a life has crashed and burned, resulting in yet another delay of at least 2-3 months to say Im stretched to my limit is a truth that became obsolete half a decade ago, and there is less than nothing else I can do alone to break the cycle once and for all.
I mean what else is left to try when humanity itself has failed you, whether it intended to do so or not? Because its how I feel. Little more than an afterthought, just another generic sob story among many, and very much an outcast who has never had a fair go
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1. Im emotionally detached from my abuser
2. My self-esteem has never been stronger
3. I dont fear change; I thrive on change
4. My abuser is unwaveringly manipulative
The reason Im stuck in a toxic dynamic is because I genuinely have nowhere else to go, no-one else to whom I can turn, and nothing else upon which I can fall back without losing one or more basic human rights in the process (shelter being the most likely loss.
And this is after _five years_ of trying and failing to make it work, and a constant cycle of rejection and turning away from those who are meant to provide help in a crisis, yet are unable to meet my specific needs.
And now my most recent attempt to have a life has crashed and burned, resulting in yet another delay of at least 2-3 months to say Im stretched to my limit is a truth that became obsolete half a decade ago, and there is less than nothing else I can do alone to break the cycle once and for all.
I mean what else is left to try when humanity itself has failed you, whether it intended to do so or not? Because its how I feel. Little more than an afterthought, just another generic sob story among many, and very much an outcast who has never had a fair go
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Y2kAstr1d
I have this online friend who i pretend to be his mom for fun. I recently got discord because he asked me to and i wish i didnt, im quite attached to him because he always talks about how he wants to ktm or hurt themselves. I was talking with him and my cousin in a group and then he left the group, he then started to dm about how his life doesnt matter and he might die, once i calmed him down he talked about taking a break, thats when i could tell i was attached because i was begging him not to. My cousin said it was toxic because he is manipulative and he have talk shit about me, around me. But i dont want to get rid of him because i love him sm but i know its bad for me because i dont even know him irl. And i know i will hurt his feelings and i dont know if he is actually going to hurt himself. I have a low social life too so i dont want him to go. Its complicated for me because i know if i stop talking to him he will be upset and so will i. But he even made me think he was going to ktm so that made me cry irl.
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I have this online friend who i pretend to be his mom for fun. I recently got discord because he asked me to and i wish i didnt, im quite attached to him because he always talks about how he wants to ktm or hurt themselves. I was talking with him and my cousin in a group and then he left the group, he then started to dm about how his life doesnt matter and he might die, once i calmed him down he talked about taking a break, thats when i could tell i was attached because i was begging him not to. My cousin said it was toxic because he is manipulative and he have talk shit about me, around me. But i dont want to get rid of him because i love him sm but i know its bad for me because i dont even know him irl. And i know i will hurt his feelings and i dont know if he is actually going to hurt himself. I have a low social life too so i dont want him to go. Its complicated for me because i know if i stop talking to him he will be upset and so will i. But he even made me think he was going to ktm so that made me cry irl.
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SilverCipher679
I have two friends. I've been friends with each of them for over 10 years. They have their own issues which makes me feel guilty for thinking this.
I can't stand their voices. I dread hearing them speak, I hate hearing their names mentioned, seeing messages pop up.
Friend A is all the way across the country but he's still a pest. I had to mute our chat.
Friend B has family issues and sees me and my family like more of a family than their own. They're like a leech. Has trauma they haven't really faced- it's just the little things they say and do that bother me. My brother in law said that it's my fault for being their friend then wanting to back out of the friendship when it is too much. If he wants to fix Friend B, then that's not my problem. He knows how hard it is now, I shouldn't have to deal with it. It feels like an endless loop.
I can't get out of these friendships.
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I have two friends. I've been friends with each of them for over 10 years. They have their own issues which makes me feel guilty for thinking this.
I can't stand their voices. I dread hearing them speak, I hate hearing their names mentioned, seeing messages pop up.
Friend A is all the way across the country but he's still a pest. I had to mute our chat.
Friend B has family issues and sees me and my family like more of a family than their own. They're like a leech. Has trauma they haven't really faced- it's just the little things they say and do that bother me. My brother in law said that it's my fault for being their friend then wanting to back out of the friendship when it is too much. If he wants to fix Friend B, then that's not my problem. He knows how hard it is now, I shouldn't have to deal with it. It feels like an endless loop.
I can't get out of these friendships.
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smol
My guy friend who at first thought was my friend that I could trust but I cant take anymore rude comment, judgement for the people I talk to, the talking behind my back, the gaslighting and the manipulation. Im tired of feeling I need their validation or for them to like me because weve been thru so much. Ive been scared of loosing this friendship and having him hate me but now I realize that I shouldnt care. He doesnt give a damn about me, doesnt care about me nor my feelings all he wanted was someone to control. I know that its better to let them go because it will be for the best for me, my mental health, and life.
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My guy friend who at first thought was my friend that I could trust but I cant take anymore rude comment, judgement for the people I talk to, the talking behind my back, the gaslighting and the manipulation. Im tired of feeling I need their validation or for them to like me because weve been thru so much. Ive been scared of loosing this friendship and having him hate me but now I realize that I shouldnt care. He doesnt give a damn about me, doesnt care about me nor my feelings all he wanted was someone to control. I know that its better to let them go because it will be for the best for me, my mental health, and life.
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[tocaxanne]
I have always, always wanted to get out of this relationship forever. But it seems like i couldnt, and even if i want to i still wouldnt do it. Why? Because we have a lot of fun together when we were younger. We give eachother support. And we met a new friend. We started becoming a trio but the trio broke, because i found her talking bad about me, abandoning me, made events and would not invite me, and she would only talk about herself and make herself look great to anyone else, even though she isnt. I mightve would break through this, and now im still trying to.
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I have always, always wanted to get out of this relationship forever. But it seems like i couldnt, and even if i want to i still wouldnt do it. Why? Because we have a lot of fun together when we were younger. We give eachother support. And we met a new friend. We started becoming a trio but the trio broke, because i found her talking bad about me, abandoning me, made events and would not invite me, and she would only talk about herself and make herself look great to anyone else, even though she isnt. I mightve would break through this, and now im still trying to.
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ItsTheAltron
The sad part is: I have more toxic relationships then normal ones.
If I where to take away all of my toxic friends Id be left with well nothing: (
Im only being bullied while they say nah were still fwiends
Ive been gaslight to the point where I dont know who I can trust and who not. I have trust issues with my parents. And about reaching for help Im underaged and couldnt go to a therapist and because my parents dont care/cant do anything about it, Im stuck in a life of pain and agony D:
(And Im being called emo for this)
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The sad part is: I have more toxic relationships then normal ones.
If I where to take away all of my toxic friends Id be left with well nothing: (
Im only being bullied while they say nah were still fwiends
Ive been gaslight to the point where I dont know who I can trust and who not. I have trust issues with my parents. And about reaching for help Im underaged and couldnt go to a therapist and because my parents dont care/cant do anything about it, Im stuck in a life of pain and agony D:
(And Im being called emo for this)
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not. _max
last year was my breaking point. i had to leave my toxic ex-bestfriend of 6 years. the outcome of this was almost 7 months of bullying, self-isolation because of the bullying and lies she told about me. this whole school year ive only talked to my parents and the occasional adults, no people my age which i think is a little bit well, traumatizing. im not trying to say that i have it bad, ik some people have it worse, but being socially isolated aint pleasant. i now find it hard to talk to other people, especially those my age.
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last year was my breaking point. i had to leave my toxic ex-bestfriend of 6 years. the outcome of this was almost 7 months of bullying, self-isolation because of the bullying and lies she told about me. this whole school year ive only talked to my parents and the occasional adults, no people my age which i think is a little bit well, traumatizing. im not trying to say that i have it bad, ik some people have it worse, but being socially isolated aint pleasant. i now find it hard to talk to other people, especially those my age.
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Najma_palsYT
I always telling him that we should be friends for now because we're always fighting and hurting
Then he always reply that's how loves works it's just some test from god how stable our relation is and ofc i was convinced. Like he's good at it. I really wanna end it but i always miss him. Like i feel depression even he's so big red flag. It's just. So hurt. Idk what to do he always playinh the victim like no one loves me even though i loved him like idk if he appreciate me or maybe im just not good enough. Idk.
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I always telling him that we should be friends for now because we're always fighting and hurting
Then he always reply that's how loves works it's just some test from god how stable our relation is and ofc i was convinced. Like he's good at it. I really wanna end it but i always miss him. Like i feel depression even he's so big red flag. It's just. So hurt. Idk what to do he always playinh the victim like no one loves me even though i loved him like idk if he appreciate me or maybe im just not good enough. Idk.
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Holly
Mine is a very hectic situation he is aware of his destructive ways and wants to change. He wants me in his life and says I dont deserve the things he says in person our relationship in perfect its only when he drinks and I get calls and its always constant fighting and him making things up gaslighting me to get a reaction out of me its so hard its like two different people. I want him to get help he knows he needs it. idk if I need to stay strong and hopeful or leave
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Mine is a very hectic situation he is aware of his destructive ways and wants to change. He wants me in his life and says I dont deserve the things he says in person our relationship in perfect its only when he drinks and I get calls and its always constant fighting and him making things up gaslighting me to get a reaction out of me its so hard its like two different people. I want him to get help he knows he needs it. idk if I need to stay strong and hopeful or leave
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Jalynn
I'm stuck in a friendship I don't want to be in. she never intentionally hurts anyone, but she's hurt me multiple times (accidentally offending me, threatening to sh/khs) and I've never said anything. I know it's my fault I'm in this mess. I never say anything about how I feel. I know that if I do tell her how I feel, she'll say it's okay, I'm not hurt but I know she will be. she's going to spiral if I leave her. that's why I'm trapped. I don't know what to do.
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I'm stuck in a friendship I don't want to be in. she never intentionally hurts anyone, but she's hurt me multiple times (accidentally offending me, threatening to sh/khs) and I've never said anything. I know it's my fault I'm in this mess. I never say anything about how I feel. I know that if I do tell her how I feel, she'll say it's okay, I'm not hurt but I know she will be. she's going to spiral if I leave her. that's why I'm trapped. I don't know what to do.
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sassytorchic47
i think my mom might be one of these, most likely the no confidence part maybe, im not sure but i know a 5th reason and it has quite abit to it. married to the toxic person with health problems with their feet, hands, body in general and such, no where to go, cant drive and no job so they are just stuck with the toxic person they married. how can that be helped?
edit: oh and the person is a narcist as well too
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i think my mom might be one of these, most likely the no confidence part maybe, im not sure but i know a 5th reason and it has quite abit to it. married to the toxic person with health problems with their feet, hands, body in general and such, no where to go, cant drive and no job so they are just stuck with the toxic person they married. how can that be helped?
edit: oh and the person is a narcist as well too
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Ally
I just got out of a toxic relationship with an ex partner. They were and to some point still are being emotionally abusive and controlling. They also have narcissistic tendency. To the point where i even feel bad about laughing at things i find funny anymore. At the moment they are trying to interfere with me moving away from the house we have together purely because i made the step to try and get out first
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I just got out of a toxic relationship with an ex partner. They were and to some point still are being emotionally abusive and controlling. They also have narcissistic tendency. To the point where i even feel bad about laughing at things i find funny anymore. At the moment they are trying to interfere with me moving away from the house we have together purely because i made the step to try and get out first
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Lisa
I had a friend who had borderline personality - ugh! She always lured me in bc shed use dogs which I love. After about a year, my husband heard my conversation with her on the phone. I hung up after being trapped again. He said to me these six simple words. Its either you or the dogs. THAT WAS IT! I shaped up and told her I couldnt help her anymore. Saw n heard from her less n less. Broke free. So so glad.
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I had a friend who had borderline personality - ugh! She always lured me in bc shed use dogs which I love. After about a year, my husband heard my conversation with her on the phone. I hung up after being trapped again. He said to me these six simple words. Its either you or the dogs. THAT WAS IT! I shaped up and told her I couldnt help her anymore. Saw n heard from her less n less. Broke free. So so glad.
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Julia
Hey Im I kinda am stuck in a dilemma and I was hoping someone can answer why I feel about it like I do so the problem is that I want a toxic relationship and I want someone to be toxic to me idk why and I know its bad but I cant help but want it can someone help me on why I feel like this and how to stop it? But its not a toxic friends thing more like I want my future partners to be toxic.
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Hey Im I kinda am stuck in a dilemma and I was hoping someone can answer why I feel about it like I do so the problem is that I want a toxic relationship and I want someone to be toxic to me idk why and I know its bad but I cant help but want it can someone help me on why I feel like this and how to stop it? But its not a toxic friends thing more like I want my future partners to be toxic.
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andrei
I am more curious about neglect. Because all of these signs covered manipulators or abusers, but none covered for people who have neglected others emotionally. How do people know if thats the case and how do people who have rely on emotionally neglectful people can handle their situations. I am curious because emotional neglect seems not so talked when it comes to emotional toxicity.
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I am more curious about neglect. Because all of these signs covered manipulators or abusers, but none covered for people who have neglected others emotionally. How do people know if thats the case and how do people who have rely on emotionally neglectful people can handle their situations. I am curious because emotional neglect seems not so talked when it comes to emotional toxicity.
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psych2go
I had a friend who slap me if I was messing around. Like embracing someone tightly in your arms as a gesture of affection or comfort is commonly known as hugging a friend. Then she thought I was starting rumors about, so I took that as a chance to end the friend ship. Also when I meant she slapped me she would hit my arms hard, swear at me a lot, and tell at me.
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I had a friend who slap me if I was messing around. Like embracing someone tightly in your arms as a gesture of affection or comfort is commonly known as hugging a friend. Then she thought I was starting rumors about, so I took that as a chance to end the friend ship. Also when I meant she slapped me she would hit my arms hard, swear at me a lot, and tell at me.
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Rufo
My brother is toxic that manipulating me for doing mistakes which makes me feel upset and I'm afraid that he yelled my name with anvry tone while having some meal even my mom doesnt help me with those problems which can lead to my brother's punishment. That's why I decided to leave inside the house to move another safe place which is comfortable and lovable
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My brother is toxic that manipulating me for doing mistakes which makes me feel upset and I'm afraid that he yelled my name with anvry tone while having some meal even my mom doesnt help me with those problems which can lead to my brother's punishment. That's why I decided to leave inside the house to move another safe place which is comfortable and lovable
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Rip
Just a couple of weeks ago i finally managed to get away from my toxic relationship. She kept saying that she could change the whole time but at the end after a few weeks she gets back to normal. I gave her so many chances during the last 7 months but i kept feeling shit all the time. So it was time to end it. Now i feel amazing and so free
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Just a couple of weeks ago i finally managed to get away from my toxic relationship. She kept saying that she could change the whole time but at the end after a few weeks she gets back to normal. I gave her so many chances during the last 7 months but i kept feeling shit all the time. So it was time to end it. Now i feel amazing and so free
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Glen
Yup yup yup. For me, the right move is to move from the US to Portugal, where it's more mellow, less triggering, where I'm not dependent on anyone, where I can start from scratch and admit only those who are awesome like me. Good weather, awesome vibe, great beach, mountain biking and hiking super close by.
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Yup yup yup. For me, the right move is to move from the US to Portugal, where it's more mellow, less triggering, where I'm not dependent on anyone, where I can start from scratch and admit only those who are awesome like me. Good weather, awesome vibe, great beach, mountain biking and hiking super close by.
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Bob
This is why one must use contraception and never put a ring on it. It helps to be physically appealing so there are many options easily available. I've seen many lonely Sub-5 males who are so thirsty for love they will bend a knee, work like a slave and more, just because they can't get any.
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This is why one must use contraception and never put a ring on it. It helps to be physically appealing so there are many options easily available. I've seen many lonely Sub-5 males who are so thirsty for love they will bend a knee, work like a slave and more, just because they can't get any.
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Stardust
I have a toxic relationship with one of my guy friends and he just so toxic and I am not sure how to stop it or help him and leave because he brings out the best in us and makes me and my friends laugh but he is also selfish, greedy, bossy, meant, toxic, etc and I am sure what to do
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I have a toxic relationship with one of my guy friends and he just so toxic and I am not sure how to stop it or help him and leave because he brings out the best in us and makes me and my friends laugh but he is also selfish, greedy, bossy, meant, toxic, etc and I am sure what to do
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Jolly
Oh this is so true, I can so relate with this video, sometimes, its just so easy to have low self esteem or feel as though you dont deserve to be happy or to question your self worth, but this video is so so helpful and I just love it! Awesome content. Thanks, psych2go.
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Oh this is so true, I can so relate with this video, sometimes, its just so easy to have low self esteem or feel as though you dont deserve to be happy or to question your self worth, but this video is so so helpful and I just love it! Awesome content. Thanks, psych2go.
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