3 Signs You Have Good Child Complex, Not Authentic
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Date: 2023-12-03
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Comments and reviews: 20
dragoneer121
While I dont think I have it, A lot of this video resonates with me, I just never had extreme situations of abuse. I did have a lot of feelings growing up about not dissapointing and how meltdowns and anger were only met with shame and dissapointmnet like the video says, so maybe there is a little bit of it in my life. I also never really felt capable of trying to win that approval and love either so I stopped trying.
Though I have one event where I showed something like this. Whe I was 14 my grandparents seperated and my grandmother need to be moved out of their home. This has ended up with me sharing a room with my grandmother for the last 12 years. I am 26 now and its still happening. I remeber feeling like I had to be good and not speak up, I remember being shamed an told of when I was i tried to talk about it.
I did finally speak up in 2020 but by then the housing crisis here in Australia had deepened so much and being in the pandemic I could do nothing. I now dont see myself ever being able to move out and fix it myself either,
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While I dont think I have it, A lot of this video resonates with me, I just never had extreme situations of abuse. I did have a lot of feelings growing up about not dissapointing and how meltdowns and anger were only met with shame and dissapointmnet like the video says, so maybe there is a little bit of it in my life. I also never really felt capable of trying to win that approval and love either so I stopped trying.
Though I have one event where I showed something like this. Whe I was 14 my grandparents seperated and my grandmother need to be moved out of their home. This has ended up with me sharing a room with my grandmother for the last 12 years. I am 26 now and its still happening. I remeber feeling like I had to be good and not speak up, I remember being shamed an told of when I was i tried to talk about it.
I did finally speak up in 2020 but by then the housing crisis here in Australia had deepened so much and being in the pandemic I could do nothing. I now dont see myself ever being able to move out and fix it myself either,
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psych2go
Ah crap. Got me again. Not trying to diagnose myself, but all of these sound familiar I was the youngest and the favorite, but I was the son of the father abused the rest of the family and my mom kicked my older siblings out because they were bad. I was always afraid of losing her approval and did whatever she said. Always. She even stated she never had to discipline me much growing up because I always did what I was told. And as an adult, it seems like basically everyone sees me as the good kid and part of me really wants people to think that of me. I never wanna be perceived as bad at all. But ultimately I m learning a lot as an adult. My mom was pretty terrible and not just because of the stuff I mentioned earlier. Now that I m 100% on my own, I m rediscovering my own voice and realizing slowly I don t need people s approval to be happy or to even be seen as good. But it s a struggle. Hopefully not forever.
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Ah crap. Got me again. Not trying to diagnose myself, but all of these sound familiar I was the youngest and the favorite, but I was the son of the father abused the rest of the family and my mom kicked my older siblings out because they were bad. I was always afraid of losing her approval and did whatever she said. Always. She even stated she never had to discipline me much growing up because I always did what I was told. And as an adult, it seems like basically everyone sees me as the good kid and part of me really wants people to think that of me. I never wanna be perceived as bad at all. But ultimately I m learning a lot as an adult. My mom was pretty terrible and not just because of the stuff I mentioned earlier. Now that I m 100% on my own, I m rediscovering my own voice and realizing slowly I don t need people s approval to be happy or to even be seen as good. But it s a struggle. Hopefully not forever.
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MaxTecia-rm6ry
I cried five minutes in because of how much I related to this video, if I get a B my test I would feel happy but then I would think, what would my parents think? I criticize myself because I feel that there's something wrong with me, If I ask my parent if I can go to therapy they tell me that they can be my therapist instead. But, they're the reason why I need it, or, part of it. Personally if im not the top of my class im a disappointment. I hide things from my parents so they don't think badly about me, or get hurt.
P. S; sometimes my parents say, maybe you have that brain disease like grandpa did, I'd ask what they mean and they'd reply with something like this, yknow schizophrenia. Which hurts me because that makes me feel like there's actually something wrong with me.
-please comment on this do you think I have something wrong with me?
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I cried five minutes in because of how much I related to this video, if I get a B my test I would feel happy but then I would think, what would my parents think? I criticize myself because I feel that there's something wrong with me, If I ask my parent if I can go to therapy they tell me that they can be my therapist instead. But, they're the reason why I need it, or, part of it. Personally if im not the top of my class im a disappointment. I hide things from my parents so they don't think badly about me, or get hurt.
P. S; sometimes my parents say, maybe you have that brain disease like grandpa did, I'd ask what they mean and they'd reply with something like this, yknow schizophrenia. Which hurts me because that makes me feel like there's actually something wrong with me.
-please comment on this do you think I have something wrong with me?
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CGandM1000
Definitely felt this many a time, but it had more effect on school. I always and still do hate group projects because me and sometimes 1 other person actually crack down and do the work. And if I get a good grade so do others, but if it s the opposite, my mom will make me feel like I didn t do good enough for her just because I got one bad grade.
It s like no matter what I do, I can t be enough for her. Because this is how our relationship is, I can only tell my dad things like this. He just loves me for who I am. And while he may not be a doctor, he is probably the most trustworthy person I know.
I can t even deal with normal kid problems, like training up on golf or working on a yt video without thinking, it s gotta be perfect
This video was helpful, do you recommend any others that would help me?
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Definitely felt this many a time, but it had more effect on school. I always and still do hate group projects because me and sometimes 1 other person actually crack down and do the work. And if I get a good grade so do others, but if it s the opposite, my mom will make me feel like I didn t do good enough for her just because I got one bad grade.
It s like no matter what I do, I can t be enough for her. Because this is how our relationship is, I can only tell my dad things like this. He just loves me for who I am. And while he may not be a doctor, he is probably the most trustworthy person I know.
I can t even deal with normal kid problems, like training up on golf or working on a yt video without thinking, it s gotta be perfect
This video was helpful, do you recommend any others that would help me?
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psych2go
It reminds me of Steven Universe. Aside from being trained to fight monsters, for as long as he could remember, he was groomed to be his legal guardians (and later his aunts and grandma) s babysitter and therapist with no degree, just because they willy-nilly wanted him to be his deceased mother s copycat.
They failed him. They failed to understand that for all his godlike powers and good-nature, he is just a kid with too much adult responsibilities on his shoulder, who has every right to be his own person, warts and all, that it s okay to be selfish and put boundaries to protect yourself from unnecessary pressure. It got worse when the moment they no longer needed him, all his trauma (it s confirmed he has C-PTSD, guilt and resentment finally exploded in a monstrous mental breakdown
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It reminds me of Steven Universe. Aside from being trained to fight monsters, for as long as he could remember, he was groomed to be his legal guardians (and later his aunts and grandma) s babysitter and therapist with no degree, just because they willy-nilly wanted him to be his deceased mother s copycat.
They failed him. They failed to understand that for all his godlike powers and good-nature, he is just a kid with too much adult responsibilities on his shoulder, who has every right to be his own person, warts and all, that it s okay to be selfish and put boundaries to protect yourself from unnecessary pressure. It got worse when the moment they no longer needed him, all his trauma (it s confirmed he has C-PTSD, guilt and resentment finally exploded in a monstrous mental breakdown
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alexlamia9946
I experienced this as a child and teenager. About eight years ago, I started showing my true self and emotions and feelings around my family. My parents, especially my mother, didn t care for it. She blamed my friends for it or tried to say I was trying to fit in with them. We fought a lot about it. Now, our relationship is better. There s things about me that my mom doesn t like, and it s okay. I m 29 now, and there s two problems I have with her, or maybe I should say she has with me. For example, she ll say something disrespectful to me or about me, and I ll call her out on it. She doesn t think I should be mad at her for that. And she still tries to control me and bribe me with love and gifts, and she gets mad when I don t give in.
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I experienced this as a child and teenager. About eight years ago, I started showing my true self and emotions and feelings around my family. My parents, especially my mother, didn t care for it. She blamed my friends for it or tried to say I was trying to fit in with them. We fought a lot about it. Now, our relationship is better. There s things about me that my mom doesn t like, and it s okay. I m 29 now, and there s two problems I have with her, or maybe I should say she has with me. For example, she ll say something disrespectful to me or about me, and I ll call her out on it. She doesn t think I should be mad at her for that. And she still tries to control me and bribe me with love and gifts, and she gets mad when I don t give in.
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vespidolive741
While this is very much about pqrent child relationships, this hit me hard in regards to friendships. I'm adhd and autistic, got bullied alot, and was always that friend that was just. there. Like a nameless extra on a tv show where everyone else are the main characters. I was just there to make the group look bigger, not to actually connect with anyone. I've bent over backwards and have tried to create a friendgroup of my own. but its hard and I've ended up in some really toxic friendgroups, despite trying to be as accepted as possible.
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While this is very much about pqrent child relationships, this hit me hard in regards to friendships. I'm adhd and autistic, got bullied alot, and was always that friend that was just. there. Like a nameless extra on a tv show where everyone else are the main characters. I was just there to make the group look bigger, not to actually connect with anyone. I've bent over backwards and have tried to create a friendgroup of my own. but its hard and I've ended up in some really toxic friendgroups, despite trying to be as accepted as possible.
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OOJTS
Village Oaks Elementary School was the first elementary school I attended I remember in music class, my cousin would not leave me alone, sitting behind me he kept poking & poking so i turned around and just took off on him. Well I end up going to the principal's officeo In the 80s they still had Corporate Punishment so I had to get the paddles
Put your hands in the way again, I'mma give you 2 more, but like always my natural reaction was to protect butt. I didn't learn for the rest of the day it was very confusing and tough time for me 5: 36
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Village Oaks Elementary School was the first elementary school I attended I remember in music class, my cousin would not leave me alone, sitting behind me he kept poking & poking so i turned around and just took off on him. Well I end up going to the principal's officeo In the 80s they still had Corporate Punishment so I had to get the paddles
Put your hands in the way again, I'mma give you 2 more, but like always my natural reaction was to protect butt. I didn't learn for the rest of the day it was very confusing and tough time for me 5: 36
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user-bs9fb6nz4l
Can you please make some sort of video on long term suicide. This is when people plan ahead in life what they are going to do to make themselves die, so they can make themselves useful one last time. I have this. I constantly dream on wanting to go to war and die a soldier, serving my people on the battlefield. I talked about this with my therapist and this is called long term suicide. Although I don't really know what to do about it. Does anyone else have long term suicide plans and, if so, how did you prevent it?
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Can you please make some sort of video on long term suicide. This is when people plan ahead in life what they are going to do to make themselves die, so they can make themselves useful one last time. I have this. I constantly dream on wanting to go to war and die a soldier, serving my people on the battlefield. I talked about this with my therapist and this is called long term suicide. Although I don't really know what to do about it. Does anyone else have long term suicide plans and, if so, how did you prevent it?
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ASiteSee
This video really made me look at myself for a minute. It makes me believe that I may have this problem, considering all the different types of abuse that I got as a child. It also sparked a question: does this problem play a part in my constant negativity? Bc I don't know what is keeping my happiness all caged up all the time anymore. I've been told it's my cptsd, but I'm wondering if there's more to it than that. I'll remember to save this video in case I want to show others.
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This video really made me look at myself for a minute. It makes me believe that I may have this problem, considering all the different types of abuse that I got as a child. It also sparked a question: does this problem play a part in my constant negativity? Bc I don't know what is keeping my happiness all caged up all the time anymore. I've been told it's my cptsd, but I'm wondering if there's more to it than that. I'll remember to save this video in case I want to show others.
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haileythomas5248
Psych2Go I was wondering if you can make a video about different types of depression? Yesterday my mom confronts me worrying if I had depression I won t go into detail but I wanna learn what type of depression I have. Recently I got diagnosed with ADHD and expressive Language Disorder or something like that, which makes it hard to know which type of depression I have since I m lazy to begin with. Don t worry about me because on Monday I m visiting the doctors about this.
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Psych2Go I was wondering if you can make a video about different types of depression? Yesterday my mom confronts me worrying if I had depression I won t go into detail but I wanna learn what type of depression I have. Recently I got diagnosed with ADHD and expressive Language Disorder or something like that, which makes it hard to know which type of depression I have since I m lazy to begin with. Don t worry about me because on Monday I m visiting the doctors about this.
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BCSchmerker
+Psych2GoTv Thanks for the symptoms of Good Child Syndrome:
0: 47 1. Did I Do Good?
2: 30 2. I'll work hard to make you love me!
3: 50 3. I'll do whatever ye want, whenever ye want.
As an autist whom the school systems o' the late 20th Century failed due to immature resources, I might have an exceptional strain of GCS: Legalistic Perfectionism, viz, holding oneself to as impossible a standard as the Code of Moshe and Yashar-El requires.
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+Psych2GoTv Thanks for the symptoms of Good Child Syndrome:
0: 47 1. Did I Do Good?
2: 30 2. I'll work hard to make you love me!
3: 50 3. I'll do whatever ye want, whenever ye want.
As an autist whom the school systems o' the late 20th Century failed due to immature resources, I might have an exceptional strain of GCS: Legalistic Perfectionism, viz, holding oneself to as impossible a standard as the Code of Moshe and Yashar-El requires.
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S-link999
I feel like i definitely have this, especially with one of my parents being my narcissistic
1. YES, as soon as school even started, i feel this way with anything, homework/tests/projects/exams (anything below a B- is considered unacceptable to him.
2. Yes but i only feel like i do that for the opposite reason, so he does not get mad at me.
3. I did not directly say this to them, but i feel like i have to, or risk enduring his wrath.
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I feel like i definitely have this, especially with one of my parents being my narcissistic
1. YES, as soon as school even started, i feel this way with anything, homework/tests/projects/exams (anything below a B- is considered unacceptable to him.
2. Yes but i only feel like i do that for the opposite reason, so he does not get mad at me.
3. I did not directly say this to them, but i feel like i have to, or risk enduring his wrath.
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philfeng3796
Now that I'm 30 and the financially independent of my mother I finally finally got the courage to start saying no to her. She's very controlling when I was younger when I don't listen to her she would say things likez I am paying for all your food and education if you don't listen to me find someone else as your mother. Now I find my self not relying on her, she now stop talking to me. I realize she doesn't love me that much at all
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Now that I'm 30 and the financially independent of my mother I finally finally got the courage to start saying no to her. She's very controlling when I was younger when I don't listen to her she would say things likez I am paying for all your food and education if you don't listen to me find someone else as your mother. Now I find my self not relying on her, she now stop talking to me. I realize she doesn't love me that much at all
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karaiidesu
I have all the three syntoms, but I can't blame my parents. They never did any of the things listed in the video to me. The opposite, my mom loved me a lot and created me with a lot of support. And I remember she saying that the only thing that she didn't want was me going to a prison.
But still, somehow, I managed to develop every single syntom this video describes. I have no idea how I ended like this.
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I have all the three syntoms, but I can't blame my parents. They never did any of the things listed in the video to me. The opposite, my mom loved me a lot and created me with a lot of support. And I remember she saying that the only thing that she didn't want was me going to a prison.
But still, somehow, I managed to develop every single syntom this video describes. I have no idea how I ended like this.
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SomeGuy-gc8zs
I was raised in a way that would normally produce this sort of thing. Fortunately or unfortunately, the autistic brain can behave in unpredictable ways; I stopped caring about external approval a long, long time ago. Instead of developing people-pleasing behavior as a defense mechanism, I learned that being sufficiently violent would motivate people to leave me alone and it worked.
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I was raised in a way that would normally produce this sort of thing. Fortunately or unfortunately, the autistic brain can behave in unpredictable ways; I stopped caring about external approval a long, long time ago. Instead of developing people-pleasing behavior as a defense mechanism, I learned that being sufficiently violent would motivate people to leave me alone and it worked.
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GNGU247
First time I've heard about this. Thanks. It makes so much sense. Sometimes I feel like in general we are like robots w souls that are constantly being programmed and updated involuntarily or without realizing it as it's happening. And it's like once you do realize this you start fighting trying to get back to your default settings. I think this is what happens in toxic relationships.
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First time I've heard about this. Thanks. It makes so much sense. Sometimes I feel like in general we are like robots w souls that are constantly being programmed and updated involuntarily or without realizing it as it's happening. And it's like once you do realize this you start fighting trying to get back to your default settings. I think this is what happens in toxic relationships.
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spongeyspikes09
Obedience, one of the deadliest things it can do to you is that for a while it teaches you self control, but too much of it destroys you on the inside and will rob you of the person you wanted to be
Parents will manipulate you, use you, for their own selfish wants and needs. And when you don't follow and obey them they accuse you of being such a horrid child.
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Obedience, one of the deadliest things it can do to you is that for a while it teaches you self control, but too much of it destroys you on the inside and will rob you of the person you wanted to be
Parents will manipulate you, use you, for their own selfish wants and needs. And when you don't follow and obey them they accuse you of being such a horrid child.
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psych2go
I wish yhe video had been titled Perfect Child Syndrome. People, including myself, often misinterpret good to mean not setting boundaries, always putting everyone else's needs above your own, never standing up for oneself, never saying no, not looking out for your own best interest. That is codependence. The world needs more truly good people who are not codependent.
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I wish yhe video had been titled Perfect Child Syndrome. People, including myself, often misinterpret good to mean not setting boundaries, always putting everyone else's needs above your own, never standing up for oneself, never saying no, not looking out for your own best interest. That is codependence. The world needs more truly good people who are not codependent.
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yuzukiruby8636
The first one hit me HARD. Growing up, whenever I want something my parents would always say Do that then we'll give you this or Do that first then we'll buy you what you wanted and If I fail I would never receive any kind of award. And everytime I express negative emotions I would get scolded that It's quite hard for me now to express other emotions.
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The first one hit me HARD. Growing up, whenever I want something my parents would always say Do that then we'll give you this or Do that first then we'll buy you what you wanted and If I fail I would never receive any kind of award. And everytime I express negative emotions I would get scolded that It's quite hard for me now to express other emotions.
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