STOP Unintentional Gaslighting (Say This Instead)
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Date: 2024-01-26
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Comments and reviews: 20
XXX-YYY09
Im sorry to the people I accidentally hurt. Sometimes I find myself manipulating others and I dont know it till later and I don't know how to stop. I dont want to be like my father. But I feel like I often manipulate people for selfish reasons and I don't know why because I dont even care about those reasons! It somehow just comes natural to me but I dont want to hurt my friends! I want everyone to get along and for nobody to feel alone so why am I often the person who seems to be the reason for exactly that to happen I care about the people around me and I don't want to hurt them or manipulate them. Like I'm friends with someone and I manipulated them to think less of our other friend but I like our other friend! But for some reason I just escalated it and they ended up clashing against each other but then they didnt blame but they blamed eachother! I tried to deescalete the situation by taking to our other friend but I did so with manipulation not healthy communication. Why did I do that I felt so bad after but relieved because everything turned 'normal' again without them being mad at me and atleast they stopped clashing against eachother. But I know that it didn't fix anything! I hate that I act like this. But I'm scared to just say 'hey! I just manipulated you and our entire friend group and this wasnt the first time! ' Im afraid of owning up to it because I dont want them to distrust me or dislike me. I dont want them to think of me as some evil manipulator. I dont want to seem like I don't care when I do! I do care. Im also scared of things changing. I know they need to change and I know it's not good but somehow I seem to just want for everything to stay like this even though it could be better because what if it would be worse And what if everyone starts hating me
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Im sorry to the people I accidentally hurt. Sometimes I find myself manipulating others and I dont know it till later and I don't know how to stop. I dont want to be like my father. But I feel like I often manipulate people for selfish reasons and I don't know why because I dont even care about those reasons! It somehow just comes natural to me but I dont want to hurt my friends! I want everyone to get along and for nobody to feel alone so why am I often the person who seems to be the reason for exactly that to happen I care about the people around me and I don't want to hurt them or manipulate them. Like I'm friends with someone and I manipulated them to think less of our other friend but I like our other friend! But for some reason I just escalated it and they ended up clashing against each other but then they didnt blame but they blamed eachother! I tried to deescalete the situation by taking to our other friend but I did so with manipulation not healthy communication. Why did I do that I felt so bad after but relieved because everything turned 'normal' again without them being mad at me and atleast they stopped clashing against eachother. But I know that it didn't fix anything! I hate that I act like this. But I'm scared to just say 'hey! I just manipulated you and our entire friend group and this wasnt the first time! ' Im afraid of owning up to it because I dont want them to distrust me or dislike me. I dont want them to think of me as some evil manipulator. I dont want to seem like I don't care when I do! I do care. Im also scared of things changing. I know they need to change and I know it's not good but somehow I seem to just want for everything to stay like this even though it could be better because what if it would be worse And what if everyone starts hating me
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siennaprice1351
I’ve limited myself from feeling my emotions for a long time. I’ve often told myself I’m not allowed to feel this way because my emotions aren’t valid and I need to never struggle and be happy 24/7 to fit in and prove to society that I’m strong and I never struggle because I’m invincible and that I can do it. I may have said some of these things, and I don’t truly mean to do it. I do ask people if it’s ok to say it, and if they say no, I ask why And if they tell me why, I ask what should I say instead I really shouldn’t limit people even though I limit myself! Ugh I’m trying not to beat the hell out of myself for this!
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I’ve limited myself from feeling my emotions for a long time. I’ve often told myself I’m not allowed to feel this way because my emotions aren’t valid and I need to never struggle and be happy 24/7 to fit in and prove to society that I’m strong and I never struggle because I’m invincible and that I can do it. I may have said some of these things, and I don’t truly mean to do it. I do ask people if it’s ok to say it, and if they say no, I ask why And if they tell me why, I ask what should I say instead I really shouldn’t limit people even though I limit myself! Ugh I’m trying not to beat the hell out of myself for this!
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sleeplessgames1677
I don’t feel I’m in a place mentally to talk about this right now. Can we come back to it once I’ve had time to think
Literally a game changer. Letting things cool down so we can circle back with a more logical mind can be very helpful. Just try not to sleep on it. Knowing the right time to re-approach, or if you should, can be a challenge. But it’s not made to ignore a problem, it’s a method for keeping discussions from turning hostile, where hurtful things can be said or misunderstandings can happen.
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I don’t feel I’m in a place mentally to talk about this right now. Can we come back to it once I’ve had time to think
Literally a game changer. Letting things cool down so we can circle back with a more logical mind can be very helpful. Just try not to sleep on it. Knowing the right time to re-approach, or if you should, can be a challenge. But it’s not made to ignore a problem, it’s a method for keeping discussions from turning hostile, where hurtful things can be said or misunderstandings can happen.
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psych2go
I was really scared when starting the video because I help people to push myself to do things. However when saying things I always (or at leats try) to let an open window. With sentences such as I do not have your point of view on the subject how do you think we can improve this to go forward Or maybe I am in the wrong but (sentence. So this video reassures me Yet some people said to me that I am mean but left bamboozled when I answered by having a constructive approch. Was I the one getting gaslighted
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I was really scared when starting the video because I help people to push myself to do things. However when saying things I always (or at leats try) to let an open window. With sentences such as I do not have your point of view on the subject how do you think we can improve this to go forward Or maybe I am in the wrong but (sentence. So this video reassures me Yet some people said to me that I am mean but left bamboozled when I answered by having a constructive approch. Was I the one getting gaslighted
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odysyr
I'd argue I'm only doing this because I care about you varies WILDLY depending on what this is.
For example, let's say someone has an all consuming and expensive addiction. Cutting them off from funding for it could well be in their best interests and done out of love, but would definitely have the benefit of saving money, which depending on your situation might be what forced the decision. It doesn't strike me as wise to bring money worries into an already emotionally fraught situation though.
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I'd argue I'm only doing this because I care about you varies WILDLY depending on what this is.
For example, let's say someone has an all consuming and expensive addiction. Cutting them off from funding for it could well be in their best interests and done out of love, but would definitely have the benefit of saving money, which depending on your situation might be what forced the decision. It doesn't strike me as wise to bring money worries into an already emotionally fraught situation though.
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DomFortress
I'm aware that I intentionally say about people's narcissistic validation seeking as clearly as a your problem, especially when they've consistently been abusing behaviors addictions, and failed to follow through with practicing quality sleep hygiene, while I no longer want to be a part of their problems by myself acting as just another enabler. Is that still gaslighting when I've communicated all of that, yet I'm still just getting the usual superficial agreeableness reaction from them
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I'm aware that I intentionally say about people's narcissistic validation seeking as clearly as a your problem, especially when they've consistently been abusing behaviors addictions, and failed to follow through with practicing quality sleep hygiene, while I no longer want to be a part of their problems by myself acting as just another enabler. Is that still gaslighting when I've communicated all of that, yet I'm still just getting the usual superficial agreeableness reaction from them
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Absolhunter251
I needed this. Is this what my relationship is going through at the moment with my partner doing pretty much the opposite of loving me, but wanting to hurt me. When they say they in the beginning they said they wouldn't.
This is gaslighting me if i ever saw it.
Thank you for how the proper words are supposed to be said.
Hopefully i can survive this.
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I needed this. Is this what my relationship is going through at the moment with my partner doing pretty much the opposite of loving me, but wanting to hurt me. When they say they in the beginning they said they wouldn't.
This is gaslighting me if i ever saw it.
Thank you for how the proper words are supposed to be said.
Hopefully i can survive this.
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cocoaocean
Thanks Yes we have to be careful. Saying things like it's all in your head is very painful. If someone opens up about being more scared than usual the best way to deal with the friend is to say something like things have a way of working out for the best or talk to me if you need to. We need to build up intuition, not tear down.
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Thanks Yes we have to be careful. Saying things like it's all in your head is very painful. If someone opens up about being more scared than usual the best way to deal with the friend is to say something like things have a way of working out for the best or talk to me if you need to. We need to build up intuition, not tear down.
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scarlet12234
Sometimes it is a you problem though. I agree that validating people's feelings is important, but some people live in a victim mentality and do actually pull problems out of nothing and shouldn't have their persecutory delusions validated. You can only validate them so much before you've got to tell them what's what.
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Sometimes it is a you problem though. I agree that validating people's feelings is important, but some people live in a victim mentality and do actually pull problems out of nothing and shouldn't have their persecutory delusions validated. You can only validate them so much before you've got to tell them what's what.
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psych2go
The more time we spend trying to control or change the behaviours of others, the less time we're focusing on our own behaviours and reactions. To increase our self-awareness, we will benefit from focusing on how we contribute to an interaction. Otherwise, we may not have enough awareness to be our best selves.
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The more time we spend trying to control or change the behaviours of others, the less time we're focusing on our own behaviours and reactions. To increase our self-awareness, we will benefit from focusing on how we contribute to an interaction. Otherwise, we may not have enough awareness to be our best selves.
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psych2go
I never said these things myself, but ive been told them many times. Even today. I hat hearing that so much bc when i really want to do something and a person is like thats invalid, go do something else when i really dont want to do other stuff u just end up procrastinating my life, i feel like
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I never said these things myself, but ive been told them many times. Even today. I hat hearing that so much bc when i really want to do something and a person is like thats invalid, go do something else when i really dont want to do other stuff u just end up procrastinating my life, i feel like
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saffyesperas2278
I am watching this while talking to a friend, it helped, but it didn’t with my sister, not only because she is at work, but because I asked a favor from her and she didn’t take that well. She did say I was gaslighting her and I thought it would help, but apparently not.
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I am watching this while talking to a friend, it helped, but it didn’t with my sister, not only because she is at work, but because I asked a favor from her and she didn’t take that well. She did say I was gaslighting her and I thought it would help, but apparently not.
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Bernie4life4182
What I learned is that a lot of my friends have been gaslighting me by saying I'm too sensitive when someone says something homophobic either towards me or someone else. What's worse to me is that they knew how hard it was for me to come out as bi to them.
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What I learned is that a lot of my friends have been gaslighting me by saying I'm too sensitive when someone says something homophobic either towards me or someone else. What's worse to me is that they knew how hard it was for me to come out as bi to them.
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mldag1678
Bro not me realizing my mom has been gaslighting me for YEARS when saying I should lose weight/excercise more/eat less followed by im doing this bc I care about you when I question her like BRO
Im glad I have good friends that have kept me from a major ED
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Bro not me realizing my mom has been gaslighting me for YEARS when saying I should lose weight/excercise more/eat less followed by im doing this bc I care about you when I question her like BRO
Im glad I have good friends that have kept me from a major ED
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. You're making a big deal out of nothing 0: 47
2. I'm only doing this because I care about you 1: 31
3. You're too sensitive 2: 27
4. It's your fault you feel that way 3: 17
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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Timestamps
1. You're making a big deal out of nothing 0: 47
2. I'm only doing this because I care about you 1: 31
3. You're too sensitive 2: 27
4. It's your fault you feel that way 3: 17
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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harrycline985
, you may not see this but pls if you do give me a SMILE: )Woah most of these unintentional sentences are straight-up mean, Thanks PSI for pointing them out, you may not see this comment, but pls if you do kindly smile wherever you are: )
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, you may not see this but pls if you do give me a SMILE: )Woah most of these unintentional sentences are straight-up mean, Thanks PSI for pointing them out, you may not see this comment, but pls if you do kindly smile wherever you are: )
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mohreda4413
Can you create a video that talks about emotional numbness (dullness of feelings) after a relationship that hurt the heart, or a vidio about losing enthusiasm and enjoying old or new things And also loss of passion please
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Can you create a video that talks about emotional numbness (dullness of feelings) after a relationship that hurt the heart, or a vidio about losing enthusiasm and enjoying old or new things And also loss of passion please
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luluramos2981
My suster used to use that, you're too sensitive phrase. Her latest one was, Youre the only sister i was able to talk to. That felt unreal and unemotional so i didn't fall for it. We haven't spoken for weeks now.
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My suster used to use that, you're too sensitive phrase. Her latest one was, Youre the only sister i was able to talk to. That felt unreal and unemotional so i didn't fall for it. We haven't spoken for weeks now.
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NotSteel
When I watch these videos I can never relate to what they're saying, but I almost always feel like I'm toxic, a gaslighter or the like. I wonder if that's my own psyche, or if my friends make me feel this way
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When I watch these videos I can never relate to what they're saying, but I almost always feel like I'm toxic, a gaslighter or the like. I wonder if that's my own psyche, or if my friends make me feel this way
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listentothelawww
Thank you for helping me all these years. I always enjoyed listening to these voices tell me it was going to be okay. I always knew it wasn't going to be. I'm going to miss this.
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Thank you for helping me all these years. I always enjoyed listening to these voices tell me it was going to be okay. I always knew it wasn't going to be. I'm going to miss this.
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