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How to Make New England Beach Pizza - Food Wishes

How to Make New England Beach Pizza - Food Wishes

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Rating: 4.0; Vote: 1
When I heard New England beach pizza called America's worst pizza, I knew I had to give it a try. Featuring a thin crust, a very sweet sauce, a scant sprinkle of mozzarella, and full slices of provolone it does possibly deserve its dubious reputation. But, I will admit that it’s good in a guilty-pleasure sort of way, and this was a fun experiment.
Date: 2024-08-14

Comments and reviews: 20


I've been making beach pizza for years for two purposes, to please kids and to serve as an hors d'oeuvre. I make two minor changes to the recipe you've showed. I smash 2 anchovy fillets (I use King Oscar) into the olive oil just before adding the tomato paste. I do NOT use Prego type sauce, I use Contadina Pizza sauce--this sauce is thick, very strong tomato flavor without that dusty old herbs flavor. I do add some fresh oregano and thyme from the plants in my window (or sometimes not. I also add the chili flakes, I use the Calabrian crushed dried chili flakes, they are fruitier and still nice and spicy.
If I'm making this for kids, they like it best with smoked mozzarella (from whole foods, I just chop it up as best I can and put it all over the pizza. .. no provolone.
If I'm making this for adults at a drinks buffet, I use regular mozzarella and add the provolone OR the smoked mozzarella and use more of it. Then I cut it so that each slice of provolone becomes 4 pieces.
This pizza, which in our house is known as square pizza is also a super favorite for pot-luck, I get, Why don't you bring that square pizza with the round cheese.
There are NEVER any leftovers.
If the crust is yeasty and the sauce is tomatoey (which it needs to be) this is a good pizza. I think it is its own category of pizza.

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New England pizza Lived here my entire life and did not know about this type of pizza. We used to have a pizza that was called Mock Pizza that involved the same recipe style but on a toasted english muffin. School lunch fav for many!
We have Italian bakery pizza everywhere here (New England but mostly in RI) and it's really popular at our beaches. It's often sold at the checkout counter at a 7-11 or some other convenience store wrapped in saran wrap with no cheese. Just a pan pizza with way too much oregano, but with a sweet sauce. Sold and eaten cold because eating it warm allows all the true flavors to blossom.
We've made, copied, this type of pizza at home often & as a matter of fact they used to sell Appian Way pizza in a box to make at home and it's kinda like this New England pizza. There were other brands of pizza in a box also but I can't remember their names. Maybe Franco-American or Chef Boyardee But Appian Way had the way coolest looking box.
Chef John continues to give us really cool recipes that we all can make at home. Very cool thing to do! Too hip!
Thank you Chef!

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The sheer hubris of Massholes- this is a Boston area thing, and only Boston. They do not speak for the rest of New England, especially Northern New England and the Berkshires. In most of New England, this recipe rejected by school lunch programs is either unknown to the luckily ignorant or despised by everyone it has been inflicted upon. You have to consider Charles River water drinkable to think this is good. I wouldn't let me dog squat on it, much less put this thing near my mouth again.
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This is perfect for kids who do not like extremely flavorful food.
The NE beach pizza place near my family is like this without the provolone. Actually I have never seen beach pizza with provolone. Maybe it's a MA thing.
Anyway. that pizza place is famous but I think it's because they have been there forever. It's just like how you describe this pizza. Is it really good pizza No. But it's still pizza and when you are near a beach on a nice day it hits the spot.

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I'd be willing to try this beach pizza without any fear of it being vile, but in terms of finding the worst regional pizza style, there's no way this is worse than Altoona-style pizza. At least we're using cheese that belongs on a pizza here instead of nasty American cheese singles. Really, look up Altoona-style pizza if you dare. So weird and nasty I still doubt that isn't some elaborate act of trolling to pizza lovers.
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This pizza is specific to the North Shore of Massachusetts (where I live. Tripoli is the OG and my wife grew up on the stuff. I can't stand the sweet sauce, but you can order it without regular sauce and it's actually pretty good.
And for true Beach Pizza you need more of a pastry dough, not store bought. Which adds a more buttery and flaky crust.
I can't explain it but this is a pizza you hate to love.

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I feel very fortunate to be one of the few NewEnglanders who has known this awful pizza since childhood. It is incredibly unsatisfying and the last thing I would recommend to tourists. But there's a steady line at Salisbury Beach every time I'm there. Maybe I'm due for another slice. just to savor the idea of eating something so niche. I never knew how lucky I was
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I was kind of hoping there would be an Iron Chef Dad, make this beach pizza gourmet video after this
I feel like whoever first added sugar to this cafeteria pizza was too lazy to cook the tomato sauce long enough to caramelise and decided it would be a hack. Like the people who add sugar to caramelised onions thinking it’s the same.

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If you like a sweet sauce and spicy meats, try Trader Joe’s Spicy Meat frozen pizza. It doesn’t mention sweet sauce on the box, so it was surprisingly sweet (even more sweet than Papa John’s) on the first bite, but after that shock, it was also pretty spicy and pretty good. Haven’t had it again, but wouldn’t be against it.
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I happen to live near one outlet of the bakery that originated this pizza (North Shore of Massachusetts. It’s wildly popular. I can’t stand this pizza and it’s a total mystey why people would line up to purchase it. The rest of the items in the bakery are excellent though (fresh canolli, other Italian pastries, etc. all great.
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Funny Vid, Off topic though I have a question about Cast Iron cooking. These flip over griddles/steak marking flat cast iron sheet tray/ pans. How does the seasoning of the pan stay on Blasting the griddle side with campfire or gas stove to cook a marked steak seems like a Seasoning Killer for my egg/grilled cheese smooth side.
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This reminds me of Old Forge, PA pizza. Old Forge proclaims themselves the pizza capital of the world. That's like a certain former President proclaiming himself the best President ever.
Anyway, Old Forge pizza is gross once you leave NEPA and then come back. White bread, ketchup and jarred sauce and government cheese.

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Popping it back in the oven for colour definitely would have improved the looks of it, maybe a drizzle of olive oil or a bright green pesto if you want to put more effort into what already is a pretty sacrilegious pizza.
Though sweet pizza kinda rocks if you offset it with salty toppings.

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I'm reminded of my high school friends and I referring to salt 'n vinegar chips as shitty chips even though we kept buying them. They aren't exactly good but once you start it's hard not to lean into them to keep the assault on your pallet going. The experience outweighs the flavor, I suppose.
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As Chef John always says -- that's just you cookin'.
Chicago has imported quite a few styles of pizza over my lifetime, just put SAUSAGE on it that's all I ever ask.
By the way someone below mentioned sh! t-on-a-shingle -- let's see if Chef John will do it for Veterans Day

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Nothing better than a fresh slice from calvitos at hitting Narragansett Beach.
The reason the pizza is so different is because it's normally only sold at Italian bakeries. So it's a much crispier greasier bread like pizza. Sound like a French bread but more crunchy and pizza-y.

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56, 000 views; 3, 500 likes. All in 14 hours. Chef John is amazing. Here in the UK we also can make good Pizza but I will give this a try with perhaps a few tweaks such as much less sugar and with some salami or pepperoni. As it’s Chef John I must give it a go.
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Was thinking Ellio's frozen pizza rectangles for kids while watching this. I don't like very sweet sauce so if I were to make this but not use any sugar, I'm wondering if doing that would make it better Or should I just search for Chef's other pizza recipes
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I've lived in MA for my entire life and I've never even heard of this, it sounds horible. I can't even get past putting sugar in a tomato sauce, never mind precooking a sauce that you're going to put on a pizza to then cook even more. I could not.
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Unfortunately, chef John did not do this pizza any justice. And there is a lot of bad beach pizza. Growing up in New England Tripoli pizza was what I looked forward to every week. Grab a box 8 and sit on the wall at the beach.
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