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What is the psychology of envy? [Interview]
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Ango
I used to feel envy a lot when I was in college, when I realized that even though I worked hard to have good grades, I wasn't able to find jobs or internships because of my lack of professionnal connections, nobody told me that it was all that counts in the game. I envied peoples with lots of connections who had their future already traced in the jobs I fancied, I wanted to hurt them and sabotage their success, but I knew that it was bad, so I used a lot of self control to retain myself. And eventually I realized that if I couldn't make them loose what they already have, I just had to work even harder to obtain it for myself, and it worked, it took 4 years but now I am in the position I wanted, without having to hurt anybody. And I feel so proud of myself, because I tamed the green-eyed monster within me and made it a friend, I was able to turn negative envy into positive envy, and this mindset is still with me today.
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I used to feel envy a lot when I was in college, when I realized that even though I worked hard to have good grades, I wasn't able to find jobs or internships because of my lack of professionnal connections, nobody told me that it was all that counts in the game. I envied peoples with lots of connections who had their future already traced in the jobs I fancied, I wanted to hurt them and sabotage their success, but I knew that it was bad, so I used a lot of self control to retain myself. And eventually I realized that if I couldn't make them loose what they already have, I just had to work even harder to obtain it for myself, and it worked, it took 4 years but now I am in the position I wanted, without having to hurt anybody. And I feel so proud of myself, because I tamed the green-eyed monster within me and made it a friend, I was able to turn negative envy into positive envy, and this mindset is still with me today.
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Kurisuchiinu
I feel envious with people who are successful with their career. I was always contented with what I have, not knowing that it was really just not enough especially with financial sources. I try to do my best to improve my creative and social skills but end up being a failure. I avoid logging in too much social networks to avoid comparing my life to others. Because when I see them doing something I want, I tend to do self pity. I want to get to where they are and so I had to do my best too!
Having a green friend all the time is not a nice feeling but it actually depends on us how to react to it. Either we use it to improve on what we currently have or just watch others and be envious for the rest of our lives.
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I feel envious with people who are successful with their career. I was always contented with what I have, not knowing that it was really just not enough especially with financial sources. I try to do my best to improve my creative and social skills but end up being a failure. I avoid logging in too much social networks to avoid comparing my life to others. Because when I see them doing something I want, I tend to do self pity. I want to get to where they are and so I had to do my best too!
Having a green friend all the time is not a nice feeling but it actually depends on us how to react to it. Either we use it to improve on what we currently have or just watch others and be envious for the rest of our lives.
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Winter
Envy is really complex. You could be envious of someone's achievements, but because you are not willing to put in the same hard work to reach similar goals, you end up really disliking that person.
It may also mean that you want too much, you are too greedy, and wanting an easy path, or things handed to you on a silver plate.
In parallel, you may not appreciate and value enough what you already have.
Hence feeling inadequate and envious of others.
It is an odd sense of low self esteem and either not yet willing to change your perspective, or put in efforts to reach similar goals.
Not yet found a way to crack this.
Would welcome comments. Thanks
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Envy is really complex. You could be envious of someone's achievements, but because you are not willing to put in the same hard work to reach similar goals, you end up really disliking that person.
It may also mean that you want too much, you are too greedy, and wanting an easy path, or things handed to you on a silver plate.
In parallel, you may not appreciate and value enough what you already have.
Hence feeling inadequate and envious of others.
It is an odd sense of low self esteem and either not yet willing to change your perspective, or put in efforts to reach similar goals.
Not yet found a way to crack this.
Would welcome comments. Thanks
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Paulina
I am most often envious of two things: slim body and being engaged/married.
I am slightly overweight and have been on a very strict diet in order to lose weight, and it freaks me out when I see skinny people eating pizza whenever they want just because they can.
And when I hear that someone I know moved in together, got engaged, or got married or is preparing for the wedding, I also get so frustrated. I am very happy in my relationship, but I want this all for myself too, and I get upset that someone gets it sooner than me.
Today I started a journal for my envy treatment, I'm gonna try self-help CBT. Wish me luck!
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I am most often envious of two things: slim body and being engaged/married.
I am slightly overweight and have been on a very strict diet in order to lose weight, and it freaks me out when I see skinny people eating pizza whenever they want just because they can.
And when I hear that someone I know moved in together, got engaged, or got married or is preparing for the wedding, I also get so frustrated. I am very happy in my relationship, but I want this all for myself too, and I get upset that someone gets it sooner than me.
Today I started a journal for my envy treatment, I'm gonna try self-help CBT. Wish me luck!
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Charles
Ive definitely been dealing with some envy and insecurity issues with my friend group. As the only guy whos single and falling behind in life I always felt this subtle rage towards my friends that makes it difficult for me to open up with them. They seem to have everything in their lives sorted out, decent career paths, beautiful girlfriends, and looks and intelligence, while I always felt inadequate compared to them. I dont want to feel this way, because Ive been friends with them for a while, but its also frustrating that I have to be the one who is struggling while everyone seems to be happy.
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Ive definitely been dealing with some envy and insecurity issues with my friend group. As the only guy whos single and falling behind in life I always felt this subtle rage towards my friends that makes it difficult for me to open up with them. They seem to have everything in their lives sorted out, decent career paths, beautiful girlfriends, and looks and intelligence, while I always felt inadequate compared to them. I dont want to feel this way, because Ive been friends with them for a while, but its also frustrating that I have to be the one who is struggling while everyone seems to be happy.
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materialgirl
You can envy someone without it being categorised into positive (motivating) or negative (feeling jealous or having ill feelings towards that person. You can envy them simply because they have a life or quality that you desire. For example, I envy many celebrities because they are rich and beautiful lol, but it doesn't mean I think nasty things about them, and it doesn't particularly motivate me to do anything about it either. The envy is simply superficial. I think there are probably more people who feel this neutral envy than the positive or negative examples given in the video.
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You can envy someone without it being categorised into positive (motivating) or negative (feeling jealous or having ill feelings towards that person. You can envy them simply because they have a life or quality that you desire. For example, I envy many celebrities because they are rich and beautiful lol, but it doesn't mean I think nasty things about them, and it doesn't particularly motivate me to do anything about it either. The envy is simply superficial. I think there are probably more people who feel this neutral envy than the positive or negative examples given in the video.
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Fatiha
positive envy sounds ridiculous. seeing someone else's success and using envy of that to do and be better will only give you a sense of entitlement and a ''i am better than you, always have been'' kind of attitude i think. envy arises due to false beliefs that cause insecurities. the false belief says because that person is prettier, smarter, has more success, it is now longer available for you. the scarcity mindset basically. believe in abundance. use the fact they have achieved the finer things as proof that it IS achievable. get inspired, not ''positively envied''
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positive envy sounds ridiculous. seeing someone else's success and using envy of that to do and be better will only give you a sense of entitlement and a ''i am better than you, always have been'' kind of attitude i think. envy arises due to false beliefs that cause insecurities. the false belief says because that person is prettier, smarter, has more success, it is now longer available for you. the scarcity mindset basically. believe in abundance. use the fact they have achieved the finer things as proof that it IS achievable. get inspired, not ''positively envied''
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YOUSRA
Envy, jealousy Is its doer indirect way to say iam way too low, i cant proved for my self, that person is way much better than me and i know it, iam a frauderster i fear exposed & icant compete with that, Simply that the psychology of these traits /motives comes from it.
But who reached these level will never heals even if they got the world because hunger/greed & lowness is part of gentical nature.
They call them the bad seeds, some people gets delivered from womb but some get sted, not every thing that delivers baby deliver a human.
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Envy, jealousy Is its doer indirect way to say iam way too low, i cant proved for my self, that person is way much better than me and i know it, iam a frauderster i fear exposed & icant compete with that, Simply that the psychology of these traits /motives comes from it.
But who reached these level will never heals even if they got the world because hunger/greed & lowness is part of gentical nature.
They call them the bad seeds, some people gets delivered from womb but some get sted, not every thing that delivers baby deliver a human.
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File
Being envied by others is not something to be envied about. Trust me, it was a torturous thing to experience. Knowing that those people hate you and are there to sabotage you. They've tried sabotaging my relationship with my bf at that time, calling me names, bullying my innocent friend and anything to weaken my self-esteem. That kind of experience is not a joke. Some of my friends at that time understand what i was going through and even my mom and they dont see it as a bragging thing to talk about.
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Being envied by others is not something to be envied about. Trust me, it was a torturous thing to experience. Knowing that those people hate you and are there to sabotage you. They've tried sabotaging my relationship with my bf at that time, calling me names, bullying my innocent friend and anything to weaken my self-esteem. That kind of experience is not a joke. Some of my friends at that time understand what i was going through and even my mom and they dont see it as a bragging thing to talk about.
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Katie
Often times when I feel envious - It's usually because my friends get a promotion or opportunity in life.
But I would never openly sabotage them, because I admire how hard they work to get there & continue to love & support them regardless of my envy. But ontop of that, I'm always thrilled for them when I hear of them doing well, seeing them happy makes me happy & I'll do anything to help them back up if/when they fall
So definitely positive envy is what i'm experiencing
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Often times when I feel envious - It's usually because my friends get a promotion or opportunity in life.
But I would never openly sabotage them, because I admire how hard they work to get there & continue to love & support them regardless of my envy. But ontop of that, I'm always thrilled for them when I hear of them doing well, seeing them happy makes me happy & I'll do anything to help them back up if/when they fall
So definitely positive envy is what i'm experiencing
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ZakEmeraldBoi
I had really bad envy to whenever I'd see people in love, I knew my personality was nothing like other women and even my looks. No one ever had interest in me so I always felt envy because I couldn't have that. It's the same whenever I'd see other people who have friends. I had to create my own friends in my mind practically to not feel lonely, and was envy seeing others not going through the pain, especially when they take advantage of that and don't appreciate it.
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I had really bad envy to whenever I'd see people in love, I knew my personality was nothing like other women and even my looks. No one ever had interest in me so I always felt envy because I couldn't have that. It's the same whenever I'd see other people who have friends. I had to create my own friends in my mind practically to not feel lonely, and was envy seeing others not going through the pain, especially when they take advantage of that and don't appreciate it.
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Skinny
I have a friend (Mary) who is a straight A student and she is a very good girl and my other friend (Ellie) for no reason, she was talking shit about her when she was angry. Then they got into a fight and Ellie thought she didn't do nothing wrong and it was all Mary's fault. She didn't even want to apologize for her mistakes. Today Mary told me that Ellie 's mother told Mary' s mother that Ellie was jealous of Mary. Ellie acts like a 5 year old and we are 14.
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I have a friend (Mary) who is a straight A student and she is a very good girl and my other friend (Ellie) for no reason, she was talking shit about her when she was angry. Then they got into a fight and Ellie thought she didn't do nothing wrong and it was all Mary's fault. She didn't even want to apologize for her mistakes. Today Mary told me that Ellie 's mother told Mary' s mother that Ellie was jealous of Mary. Ellie acts like a 5 year old and we are 14.
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Shchagm
this method will never put you in peace with your self. you will always chase that feeling of self worth, and will never get it because there will always be something to be envy about. real way is the hard way of relaxing and understanding that you are not that special, and that someone is better in something then you. but this video is true in one way. understanding what are you good at. be grateful for that and the envy is gone.
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this method will never put you in peace with your self. you will always chase that feeling of self worth, and will never get it because there will always be something to be envy about. real way is the hard way of relaxing and understanding that you are not that special, and that someone is better in something then you. but this video is true in one way. understanding what are you good at. be grateful for that and the envy is gone.
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Park
_I envy someone when they're way prettier and gets alot of praises, they're popular, has alot of friends, is talented, smart, kind. they have __everything_
_And honestly, I hate myself for it, I don't like it when I feel this kind of envy for a person, I just thought that they don't deserve it if I hated them for it. I dont hate the person, I just hate the thought that they got everything, I just want this jealousy to end. _
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_I envy someone when they're way prettier and gets alot of praises, they're popular, has alot of friends, is talented, smart, kind. they have __everything_
_And honestly, I hate myself for it, I don't like it when I feel this kind of envy for a person, I just thought that they don't deserve it if I hated them for it. I dont hate the person, I just hate the thought that they got everything, I just want this jealousy to end. _
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Beater
I now understand why people move jobs so often. When you stay at a job you will feel envy at new starters being paid more than you even though you've worked long and hard. Bosses are bastards. They have you on the hook now, they know you want a wage rise and will work you till you're ill and doubt your own sanity. That's a fact. You can't win this game unless you move on. That means you Chris you slavedriving psychopath!
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I now understand why people move jobs so often. When you stay at a job you will feel envy at new starters being paid more than you even though you've worked long and hard. Bosses are bastards. They have you on the hook now, they know you want a wage rise and will work you till you're ill and doubt your own sanity. That's a fact. You can't win this game unless you move on. That means you Chris you slavedriving psychopath!
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DANIEL
The last time when I felt envious, is was when I was suffering emotional. To the point where my suffering internally took control over me. And all I wanted to do was get married. And I saw a couple get married and it hurt me so much. And made me so angry.
But now looking back I was just in alot of pain and suffering. And wasnt in my right state of mind. But thank god I didnt act upon it.
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The last time when I felt envious, is was when I was suffering emotional. To the point where my suffering internally took control over me. And all I wanted to do was get married. And I saw a couple get married and it hurt me so much. And made me so angry.
But now looking back I was just in alot of pain and suffering. And wasnt in my right state of mind. But thank god I didnt act upon it.
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Anna
Genesis 3: 1-4- The beginning of envy.
Consider others superior to you- Philippians 2: 3. Humility can help take away envy. See your brain as a machine that needs you to replace negative emotion with positive emotion. Humility helps a person work on themselves and appreciate themselves. Show yourselves thankful-Colossians 3: 15.
Bad company ruins good morals-1 Corinthians 15: 33.
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Genesis 3: 1-4- The beginning of envy.
Consider others superior to you- Philippians 2: 3. Humility can help take away envy. See your brain as a machine that needs you to replace negative emotion with positive emotion. Humility helps a person work on themselves and appreciate themselves. Show yourselves thankful-Colossians 3: 15.
Bad company ruins good morals-1 Corinthians 15: 33.
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psych2go
I experinace envy in a way neither of these described exactly.
I feel jelous and upset but I dont want to see the other person fail but it also doesnt motivate me instead it just makes me feel defeated and like nothing I do will ever be good enough because they have some advantage I dont that let them succeed.
Basically I have insecure envy x, D
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I experinace envy in a way neither of these described exactly.
I feel jelous and upset but I dont want to see the other person fail but it also doesnt motivate me instead it just makes me feel defeated and like nothing I do will ever be good enough because they have some advantage I dont that let them succeed.
Basically I have insecure envy x, D
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Anna
Envy can also be about wanting people beneath you, so you can feel superior to them. Envy is the reason why injustice, unequality exist. It all boils down to insecurity and not focusing on ourselves.
Matthew 7: 1-5- Do not judge or you be judged. Look at the rafter in your own eye so then you can help take out the stick in your brothers/ sisters eye.
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Envy can also be about wanting people beneath you, so you can feel superior to them. Envy is the reason why injustice, unequality exist. It all boils down to insecurity and not focusing on ourselves.
Matthew 7: 1-5- Do not judge or you be judged. Look at the rafter in your own eye so then you can help take out the stick in your brothers/ sisters eye.
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MRE
What's your opinion on knowing your co-workers' salaries? There's mix opinion about this.
Knowing another's income feels wrong because you would always compare yourself with others.
But other's point of view is that knowing people's salaries make you knowledgeable if the company is playing you or not.
Just curious to know what you think
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What's your opinion on knowing your co-workers' salaries? There's mix opinion about this.
Knowing another's income feels wrong because you would always compare yourself with others.
But other's point of view is that knowing people's salaries make you knowledgeable if the company is playing you or not.
Just curious to know what you think
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File
Remembering about my sad past with those people who hated and tried to sabotage me made me feel sad now. It's not about bragging that they envy me, it's just simply what really happened to my life. I don't think I'm much better than others, I just want to talk about the hurt that ive experienced from the past and what caused it.
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Remembering about my sad past with those people who hated and tried to sabotage me made me feel sad now. It's not about bragging that they envy me, it's just simply what really happened to my life. I don't think I'm much better than others, I just want to talk about the hurt that ive experienced from the past and what caused it.
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HappyFlower
The literal translation for shadow joy is Schattenfreude. Schadenfreude instead would be damage joy.
Can you see difference between Scha tt enfreude and Scha d enfreude?
One means shadow the other damage.
Still figuretively shadow joy feels useable. As in shadow, dark or cold.
Which one would you use?
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The literal translation for shadow joy is Schattenfreude. Schadenfreude instead would be damage joy.
Can you see difference between Scha tt enfreude and Scha d enfreude?
One means shadow the other damage.
Still figuretively shadow joy feels useable. As in shadow, dark or cold.
Which one would you use?
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Romen
Envy is a bad thing anyways.
Reason 1: Motivation doesn't guarantee success.
Reason 2: Motivation that is caused by envy disappears when equality is established.
It means that positively envious people need someone to follow.
P. S.
Try to be a person of worth, not a person of status.
A. Einstein
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Envy is a bad thing anyways.
Reason 1: Motivation doesn't guarantee success.
Reason 2: Motivation that is caused by envy disappears when equality is established.
It means that positively envious people need someone to follow.
P. S.
Try to be a person of worth, not a person of status.
A. Einstein
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sun
am i the only one that never felt envy? i feel like an outsider. isn't jealousy a negative version of admiration? i have always admire the people that are better than me, and i love learning new things from them, i don't see life as a competition, i never felt sad and angry for someone more successful than me.
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am i the only one that never felt envy? i feel like an outsider. isn't jealousy a negative version of admiration? i have always admire the people that are better than me, and i love learning new things from them, i don't see life as a competition, i never felt sad and angry for someone more successful than me.
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sneez
a little note: the german word schadenfreude is not shadow joy as it was translated in the video but harm joy or joy or seeing someone being or having been harmed. but this little oversight doesnt mar the validity of everything else in the video. i loved it and watched it for a second time now
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a little note: the german word schadenfreude is not shadow joy as it was translated in the video but harm joy or joy or seeing someone being or having been harmed. but this little oversight doesnt mar the validity of everything else in the video. i loved it and watched it for a second time now
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