6 Unhealthy Mother-Daughter Relationships
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
MademoiselleRia
My mom is closest to 1, 2, and 6. I am 14 and started trying to stay distanced from my mom when I was around 11. I started doing that because she used to cut off bits of my hair as a punishment, Until I was in 4th or 5th grade maybe. One time my friend asked me why my hair was so choppy and i told her oh my mom just cut my because I didnt do my homework I thought this was normal, but friend told me it was messed up. So I told my teacher, my teacher called my mom, and mom said she didnt do that. She quit cutting my hair after that. Now she calls me not normal (I have bpd, autism spectrum, and my therapist thinks I MAY have cptsd) and talks about how Im such an embarrassment and just tries to start arguments in a way with me. I either cave in and defend my self and she get angry or stay quiet and she get angry. The other night I was trying to play league of legends with my younger cousin and she heard me talking to them on discord so she tried to say bad things loud enough for them to hear it (Tell your friend you hate your mother! Tell your friend you sleep in the closet! Tell your friend you dont talk to your mother, and when I didnt respond to her she started throwing bottles at me (plastic but it still hurt) at around 3 am I could hear her screaming at my dad over the phone about how she was going to shoot him and his girlfriend in their sleep, so me and my younger sister were both crying. I sleep in my closet most of the time because of that, its a safe place to me. My younger sister is like my moms mom, especially when my mom is drunk. I told her she doesnt have to do what she makes her do (cook her food, fetch items from around the house, clean her room/make her bed) but she does anyway
I gave up on my mom a long time ago, I dont want to fix the relationship, I do not trust her whatsoever. I just want to live with my dad so bad at this point. But where I live emotional abuse or mental isnt bad enough for me to not live with because shes still my mother where I live you can only live with the parent you wish to live with if the other is physically abusing you.
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My mom is closest to 1, 2, and 6. I am 14 and started trying to stay distanced from my mom when I was around 11. I started doing that because she used to cut off bits of my hair as a punishment, Until I was in 4th or 5th grade maybe. One time my friend asked me why my hair was so choppy and i told her oh my mom just cut my because I didnt do my homework I thought this was normal, but friend told me it was messed up. So I told my teacher, my teacher called my mom, and mom said she didnt do that. She quit cutting my hair after that. Now she calls me not normal (I have bpd, autism spectrum, and my therapist thinks I MAY have cptsd) and talks about how Im such an embarrassment and just tries to start arguments in a way with me. I either cave in and defend my self and she get angry or stay quiet and she get angry. The other night I was trying to play league of legends with my younger cousin and she heard me talking to them on discord so she tried to say bad things loud enough for them to hear it (Tell your friend you hate your mother! Tell your friend you sleep in the closet! Tell your friend you dont talk to your mother, and when I didnt respond to her she started throwing bottles at me (plastic but it still hurt) at around 3 am I could hear her screaming at my dad over the phone about how she was going to shoot him and his girlfriend in their sleep, so me and my younger sister were both crying. I sleep in my closet most of the time because of that, its a safe place to me. My younger sister is like my moms mom, especially when my mom is drunk. I told her she doesnt have to do what she makes her do (cook her food, fetch items from around the house, clean her room/make her bed) but she does anyway
I gave up on my mom a long time ago, I dont want to fix the relationship, I do not trust her whatsoever. I just want to live with my dad so bad at this point. But where I live emotional abuse or mental isnt bad enough for me to not live with because shes still my mother where I live you can only live with the parent you wish to live with if the other is physically abusing you.
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RobinUrGender
I was called a cry baby a lot by my mom. As a result, I cry easily, but not often. If Im upset with someone Ill usually go to violence because I was told crying was for little kids and I was a big kid. I have two very vivid memories, one of my mom explaining why my sister made fun of me. Because and I quote Its funny to her when you get set off so easily. I mean look at you, its pretty funny right I turned to the mirror tears streaming down my face, my cheeks and nose red, my nose was running and started crying harder at the thought that my own mother thought that my tears were funny. Another time I was crying and my mom told me to be tough like my grandpa. My grandpa who was in a war. I remember screaming IM NOT HIM and running upstairs in tears. In the fourth grade I would get in the back of my moms car and just start balling. I dont know why, I just would. My younger sister always got what she asked for, she would often shove this down my throat. My mom would buy me cake pops so she could pretend that I was getting stuff too. My younger sister also stole the attention, and I was ignored. As a result I hated my little sister. I didnt want to play with her and I didnt tell her I was sorry or that I loved her unless I was told to. Instead of trying to help me in anyway my mom would tell me that she understood what I was going through as the middle child. That was it. She didnt try to play with me more, she just patted me on the back and told me she understood. I am very isolated now and Im not very close with my mom. Im not sure if this makes me a bad daughter, but Im not sure I trust her enough to become close with her again. She made a lot of empty promises, well do it tomorrow is a phrase Im very familiar with. She would often say wed do it tomorrow, it usually never ended up happening. Thats probably the reason I dont trust her, because she made (and makes) promises she just doesnt keep.
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I was called a cry baby a lot by my mom. As a result, I cry easily, but not often. If Im upset with someone Ill usually go to violence because I was told crying was for little kids and I was a big kid. I have two very vivid memories, one of my mom explaining why my sister made fun of me. Because and I quote Its funny to her when you get set off so easily. I mean look at you, its pretty funny right I turned to the mirror tears streaming down my face, my cheeks and nose red, my nose was running and started crying harder at the thought that my own mother thought that my tears were funny. Another time I was crying and my mom told me to be tough like my grandpa. My grandpa who was in a war. I remember screaming IM NOT HIM and running upstairs in tears. In the fourth grade I would get in the back of my moms car and just start balling. I dont know why, I just would. My younger sister always got what she asked for, she would often shove this down my throat. My mom would buy me cake pops so she could pretend that I was getting stuff too. My younger sister also stole the attention, and I was ignored. As a result I hated my little sister. I didnt want to play with her and I didnt tell her I was sorry or that I loved her unless I was told to. Instead of trying to help me in anyway my mom would tell me that she understood what I was going through as the middle child. That was it. She didnt try to play with me more, she just patted me on the back and told me she understood. I am very isolated now and Im not very close with my mom. Im not sure if this makes me a bad daughter, but Im not sure I trust her enough to become close with her again. She made a lot of empty promises, well do it tomorrow is a phrase Im very familiar with. She would often say wed do it tomorrow, it usually never ended up happening. Thats probably the reason I dont trust her, because she made (and makes) promises she just doesnt keep.
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Ale
My mom is more of a people-pleaser and I feel like I have to be emotional support for her. I work at a job where I have to see her everyday and she says yo come see her in the mornings and always gets onto me when I don't show up at 9 AM, when she doesn't even do so herself. Each time I do something for work, she always says that she appreciates and says I love you, but she does it so often that I don't say it back because I just don't feel anything.
Often at times when visitors come in with conversations, she always does this fake laugh and sounds happy when she really isn't.
Worst of all? There are just some aspects that make me really uncomfortable.
When she asks for a hug, I just don't want to hug back. It's been difficult for me to say no, and setting boundaries.
I've felt more pressure since I was the firstborn and older sister, and that aside learned as I got out of my parents house that it was a toxic environment.
I physically felt sick and nauseous the last time I stepped or even went down roads near the house because it reminded me of my childhood.
Parents arguing, dad drinking, mom always coming to me an my sister for some kind of support when we were just kids.
I want to quit my job because of her, but I'm only there for the paycheck.
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My mom is more of a people-pleaser and I feel like I have to be emotional support for her. I work at a job where I have to see her everyday and she says yo come see her in the mornings and always gets onto me when I don't show up at 9 AM, when she doesn't even do so herself. Each time I do something for work, she always says that she appreciates and says I love you, but she does it so often that I don't say it back because I just don't feel anything.
Often at times when visitors come in with conversations, she always does this fake laugh and sounds happy when she really isn't.
Worst of all? There are just some aspects that make me really uncomfortable.
When she asks for a hug, I just don't want to hug back. It's been difficult for me to say no, and setting boundaries.
I've felt more pressure since I was the firstborn and older sister, and that aside learned as I got out of my parents house that it was a toxic environment.
I physically felt sick and nauseous the last time I stepped or even went down roads near the house because it reminded me of my childhood.
Parents arguing, dad drinking, mom always coming to me an my sister for some kind of support when we were just kids.
I want to quit my job because of her, but I'm only there for the paycheck.
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Anisha
is it possible for a mom to be all 6 of them?
like she's bossom buddies but the part where the daughter tries to be independant, the mother becomes boss and subbordinate type? the daughter who was pressured all her life to do well, or behave certainways, but never guided or helped? then could 3 and 4 fall under same catergory? as if the daughter was always considered rival, and is judged by the amount of chores she does around the house. but also has to be emotionally available for the mother, and gets called selfish, when she wants emotional support as well? Also i need an elaboration on number 5, the part where the mother gives love to her other child. on what grounds do you believe thats the case? and lastly number 6, but the good and bad mom doesnt depend on whether other people are around or not?
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is it possible for a mom to be all 6 of them?
like she's bossom buddies but the part where the daughter tries to be independant, the mother becomes boss and subbordinate type? the daughter who was pressured all her life to do well, or behave certainways, but never guided or helped? then could 3 and 4 fall under same catergory? as if the daughter was always considered rival, and is judged by the amount of chores she does around the house. but also has to be emotionally available for the mother, and gets called selfish, when she wants emotional support as well? Also i need an elaboration on number 5, the part where the mother gives love to her other child. on what grounds do you believe thats the case? and lastly number 6, but the good and bad mom doesnt depend on whether other people are around or not?
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Sleepy
My relationship with my mom is the boss and subordinate one.
I used to want to get my moms approval but right now I strongly dislike her I cant be around her half of the time cause all the time she tends to use threats against me but she used them so much in my 16 years of living it doesnt affect me. Like shooting up with needles, leaving me with her baby for a week, any sort of threat that negatively affects her health. Ig in hopes that Ill feel bad and go back to obeying her maybe? I did understand the part where this video said that theres a resentfulness towards my mother cause Im having a resentfulness towards her. How it said that the daughter will rebel loudly or quietly. Im doing it quietly.
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My relationship with my mom is the boss and subordinate one.
I used to want to get my moms approval but right now I strongly dislike her I cant be around her half of the time cause all the time she tends to use threats against me but she used them so much in my 16 years of living it doesnt affect me. Like shooting up with needles, leaving me with her baby for a week, any sort of threat that negatively affects her health. Ig in hopes that Ill feel bad and go back to obeying her maybe? I did understand the part where this video said that theres a resentfulness towards my mother cause Im having a resentfulness towards her. How it said that the daughter will rebel loudly or quietly. Im doing it quietly.
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Desiree
2. And 6. Is me to a T. Didnt realize until I got older. Never realized it until now as Im an adult raising my own kid. My tolerance for my mom is lower as time goes on. I always felt like growing up my mom was more to be feared and cold and not emotionally there. Prayed and asked God why my self esteem wasnt what it should be and realized I never felt like I could be good enough for the first most important relationship of my life. I struggle with it now. But Im trying to get through it by being kind to others and making sure my son never grows up or feels like I did. Its a work in progress as now I struggle to connect and be in solid relationships with others
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2. And 6. Is me to a T. Didnt realize until I got older. Never realized it until now as Im an adult raising my own kid. My tolerance for my mom is lower as time goes on. I always felt like growing up my mom was more to be feared and cold and not emotionally there. Prayed and asked God why my self esteem wasnt what it should be and realized I never felt like I could be good enough for the first most important relationship of my life. I struggle with it now. But Im trying to get through it by being kind to others and making sure my son never grows up or feels like I did. Its a work in progress as now I struggle to connect and be in solid relationships with others
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LadyLotus
I had the ghost and the boss in one mother. I didnt have a mother I had an army general. Actually not even that cause at least an army general would be more concerned with what I am hiding. There was good discipline I guess but no emotional support or closeness beyond that. if I was doing a bad thing, shed discipline me harshly but if I did a good thing or if we were just spending time together thered be no emotion there. There was all demand but no real emotional relationship to balance it out so if she was ever talking to me then I learned that it was probably for a negative reason. No news is good news.
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I had the ghost and the boss in one mother. I didnt have a mother I had an army general. Actually not even that cause at least an army general would be more concerned with what I am hiding. There was good discipline I guess but no emotional support or closeness beyond that. if I was doing a bad thing, shed discipline me harshly but if I did a good thing or if we were just spending time together thered be no emotion there. There was all demand but no real emotional relationship to balance it out so if she was ever talking to me then I learned that it was probably for a negative reason. No news is good news.
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Rebecca
I had a ghost mother when I was very young, but it wasn't a choice by my mother. My father was never around, so my mother was constantly frazzled and overwhelmed because she had an absent husband and three kids to raise. I am the youngest, so it was easier for my mom to take care of the tangible needs or her more independent older children than to tend to the emotional needs of a toddler. My mother now is very supportive, loving, and understanding. We are very close, although I think she sometimes bends over backwards to help me because she has some underlying guilt about my mental illness
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I had a ghost mother when I was very young, but it wasn't a choice by my mother. My father was never around, so my mother was constantly frazzled and overwhelmed because she had an absent husband and three kids to raise. I am the youngest, so it was easier for my mom to take care of the tangible needs or her more independent older children than to tend to the emotional needs of a toddler. My mother now is very supportive, loving, and understanding. We are very close, although I think she sometimes bends over backwards to help me because she has some underlying guilt about my mental illness
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education
Mine is a lot of 2, she did this unintentionally but I've tried to explain to her MULTIPLE times. And she's always gotten defensive and angry whenever I tell her how I feel, and pulls the victim card and goes Well you never stop to think how what you say effects other people, now I feel like a horrible parent. and it's horrible. I just want to have a safe place to share my feelings without her invalidating them, saying hers are worse, or acting like I can't experience them. I'm only 14 but I want to run away.
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Mine is a lot of 2, she did this unintentionally but I've tried to explain to her MULTIPLE times. And she's always gotten defensive and angry whenever I tell her how I feel, and pulls the victim card and goes Well you never stop to think how what you say effects other people, now I feel like a horrible parent. and it's horrible. I just want to have a safe place to share my feelings without her invalidating them, saying hers are worse, or acting like I can't experience them. I'm only 14 but I want to run away.
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sleepynetwork
i think my mom is the ghost one, i still live with her but she refuses to let me see my father, most of the time she gives more to her boyfriends kids than her own. she yells at me when i do something wrong but if boyfriends kids do the exact same thing they just get a slight slap on the wrist and thats it while i get all of my technology, and friends taken away. after this week im just now realizing she hasnt made dinner not once and i had to cook
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i think my mom is the ghost one, i still live with her but she refuses to let me see my father, most of the time she gives more to her boyfriends kids than her own. she yells at me when i do something wrong but if boyfriends kids do the exact same thing they just get a slight slap on the wrist and thats it while i get all of my technology, and friends taken away. after this week im just now realizing she hasnt made dinner not once and i had to cook
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VictorTori
My mother often tells me Im the reason we lost my brother. I really dont wanna believe her, but she told me this ever since she lost the baby. I was four, and she told me I ran, and she ran after me, so she lost the baby because she ran too much. I know almost everyone here goes through stuff, and its hard. I know I definitely dont have it the worst, and I wish all of you luck who are either still recovering or are in her grasp. Dont give up.
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My mother often tells me Im the reason we lost my brother. I really dont wanna believe her, but she told me this ever since she lost the baby. I was four, and she told me I ran, and she ran after me, so she lost the baby because she ran too much. I know almost everyone here goes through stuff, and its hard. I know I definitely dont have it the worst, and I wish all of you luck who are either still recovering or are in her grasp. Dont give up.
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Chyna
I'm 13
My mom is working ( she got a job 2 days ago) and has stopped paying me attention. I do the household chores, etc. I have to attend my online classes everyday. I've lost my bond with my mom! She was the only one with whom I used to share everything! I don't know what should I do now, I don't have much friends and I don't feel to talk to anyone. I'm devastated. Can anyone help me?
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I'm 13
My mom is working ( she got a job 2 days ago) and has stopped paying me attention. I do the household chores, etc. I have to attend my online classes everyday. I've lost my bond with my mom! She was the only one with whom I used to share everything! I don't know what should I do now, I don't have much friends and I don't feel to talk to anyone. I'm devastated. Can anyone help me?
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/3LL
Boss & Subordinate 2%
But
Good Mom/Bad Mom 98%
My mom is very very nice when there are people. But we it is just me and her she is the devil. She makes me feel like i have done something bad. And the nicknames are worse smelly belly and more like that about my heath. And she and my aunts and gramma make fun of my dad that is not with my mom on call.
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Boss & Subordinate 2%
But
Good Mom/Bad Mom 98%
My mom is very very nice when there are people. But we it is just me and her she is the devil. She makes me feel like i have done something bad. And the nicknames are worse smelly belly and more like that about my heath. And she and my aunts and gramma make fun of my dad that is not with my mom on call.
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awela
I think mostly role reversal in my situation, especially since we lost my dad. But theres also favouritism of my older brothers. She often allows them to be openly angry, offensive and aggressive toward me, despite them being adults. Ive been called every name in the book and its always thats just how they vent and as though I brought it upon myself?
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I think mostly role reversal in my situation, especially since we lost my dad. But theres also favouritism of my older brothers. She often allows them to be openly angry, offensive and aggressive toward me, despite them being adults. Ive been called every name in the book and its always thats just how they vent and as though I brought it upon myself?
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Olivia
I have a good mom bad mom type relationship she's so kid and sweet when we're out in public always hugging and kissing and trying to love me and show that she's a good mom but when were at home she yells throws things and is overall just a toxic person and now that I'm older she wonders why I stay as far as possible smh
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I have a good mom bad mom type relationship she's so kid and sweet when we're out in public always hugging and kissing and trying to love me and show that she's a good mom but when were at home she yells throws things and is overall just a toxic person and now that I'm older she wonders why I stay as far as possible smh
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Stephanie
My mother is like the ghost she left when I was 8 and was gone from my life for 3 years and now she back in my life but she doesnt fell like a mother figure to me anymore. But shes still in my life Im trying to get her to talk to me about what happened but I know she wont and will make it all about her self if I do.
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My mother is like the ghost she left when I was 8 and was gone from my life for 3 years and now she back in my life but she doesnt fell like a mother figure to me anymore. But shes still in my life Im trying to get her to talk to me about what happened but I know she wont and will make it all about her self if I do.
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Bbwong
Sometimes Im scared of my caretaker which is my grandma because sometimes shes just going to have an Anger outbursts and its really stressful to know when and Im always really just scared I cant move out because Im not 18 And when she has anger outbursts she will either hit me choke me kick me etc
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Sometimes Im scared of my caretaker which is my grandma because sometimes shes just going to have an Anger outbursts and its really stressful to know when and Im always really just scared I cant move out because Im not 18 And when she has anger outbursts she will either hit me choke me kick me etc
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Dreamy
Im not sure what type of mom mine is but shes there physically and emotionally but I dont feel like I can talk to her because shes always comparing me to my sisters and saying hurtful comments like im a brat, im spoiled, I need to try harder stuff like that and that my sisters better Anyone else?
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Im not sure what type of mom mine is but shes there physically and emotionally but I dont feel like I can talk to her because shes always comparing me to my sisters and saying hurtful comments like im a brat, im spoiled, I need to try harder stuff like that and that my sisters better Anyone else?
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barbiee
idk actually i just know she already has and will have a bad life and is living one and i don't wanna be mean to her but we get in fights almost everyday one day she is kind and i am mad and visa versa
anyone anything to say or opinion on what i should do
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idk actually i just know she already has and will have a bad life and is living one and i don't wanna be mean to her but we get in fights almost everyday one day she is kind and i am mad and visa versa
anyone anything to say or opinion on what i should do
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Shreya
Honestly I don't expect my mother to be suddenly a great mom or non toxic, cuz she is also a human so I get it but I just wished sometimes for them just try to listen and look into themselves of how they are acting and affecting relationship with their kids
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Honestly I don't expect my mother to be suddenly a great mom or non toxic, cuz she is also a human so I get it but I just wished sometimes for them just try to listen and look into themselves of how they are acting and affecting relationship with their kids
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Vibe
My mom is both a buddy and a good/bad mom
- she acts like my best friend
- doesn't take care of me
- acts well in front of others
- acts badly around me
- attempts to make my dad suffer, only to make ME suffer
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My mom is both a buddy and a good/bad mom
- she acts like my best friend
- doesn't take care of me
- acts well in front of others
- acts badly around me
- attempts to make my dad suffer, only to make ME suffer
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Princess
Yep my mom definitely is a boss and subordinate and emotionally unavailable she shows more love to my sister she acts concerned but if I don't do something she wants done her whole demeanor changes and she closes off
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Yep my mom definitely is a boss and subordinate and emotionally unavailable she shows more love to my sister she acts concerned but if I don't do something she wants done her whole demeanor changes and she closes off
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Thumb
My mom doesnt rlly fit into any of these however she did try to prostitute me to an old man a few weeks ago, sent me to a mental facility because my dad wanted custody and if I can't have you no one can
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My mom doesnt rlly fit into any of these however she did try to prostitute me to an old man a few weeks ago, sent me to a mental facility because my dad wanted custody and if I can't have you no one can
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Diah
I just want to be a good mom for my children in the future, I dont want them to experience what ive been through: ( Hope this bitterness doesnt drives me to do the same thing as what my mom did to meee
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I just want to be a good mom for my children in the future, I dont want them to experience what ive been through: ( Hope this bitterness doesnt drives me to do the same thing as what my mom did to meee
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RowannJordan
Wow I never realized this before! That you so much I now have a better understanding of my mother and I relationship. #4 switching-roles. My whole like I've have to help or stand up for her.
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Wow I never realized this before! That you so much I now have a better understanding of my mother and I relationship. #4 switching-roles. My whole like I've have to help or stand up for her.
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