6 Signs You Might Have a Toxic Parent - Part 2
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Reyna
its terrible when they praise you and put you down in a time gap of half hour. you're given a lot of freedom just to be called ungrateful. you're being treated with kindness just to be reminded about it. you have been kept safely because you need to be grateful for it. and above everything they still believe they do all of it because they love you i have spend almost the entire 17 years of my existence believing that kids are supposed to be grateful and i'd go mad if i do something that doesnt get validated by my mom even if its the right thing to do. i got trust issues, i almost ended up feeling like a sociopath and it took me such a long time, effort, tears and anxiety to realise i was losing empathy. because thats the only way i could connect with my mom. i had to be like her in order to comfort her and aid her trauma. everything that she's undergone has to be understood by me and i should support her. because of that, i lived my enitre life believing that i was ungrateful whenever i wished she was different. its either that she's very kind and calm or she's being severely violent. i have been hit since i was 4-5 years old and i grew up believing it was the right thing to do. she'd spit such hurtful and manipulative statements but you cant talk back and if you did, you dont love your mother and your ungrateful because a mom behaving so is 'normal'. she'd apologize and agree to be a good mom saying she has been horrible, but if my sis or i agree with that and say that she indeed is, she's angry and uses abusive statements saying how no child is allowed to say that. also, having individual emotions is wrong and we're just the mirror images of her and every mother feels this way so if we went against it, we; re the weird ones. i grew up thinking every abnormal thing she did /said was normal, and if i didnt do it, ill never fit in and ill be bullied and hated forever. now when i start to look at myself, i feel much at peace when i think about death. im severely suicidal but dont want to seek help because it feels like thats what im supposed to do and i feel happier. my girlfriend was the only one that made me realise what true love feels like. i was never able to reciprocate it in the right way, but now i cant unsee her gestures of true love. maybe its too late now, its better to end everything. it feels so good to watch someone validate my feelings by posting videos like this. i finally feel like im an individual existence who has a heart and soul of her own that CAN get hurt and feel anger.
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its terrible when they praise you and put you down in a time gap of half hour. you're given a lot of freedom just to be called ungrateful. you're being treated with kindness just to be reminded about it. you have been kept safely because you need to be grateful for it. and above everything they still believe they do all of it because they love you i have spend almost the entire 17 years of my existence believing that kids are supposed to be grateful and i'd go mad if i do something that doesnt get validated by my mom even if its the right thing to do. i got trust issues, i almost ended up feeling like a sociopath and it took me such a long time, effort, tears and anxiety to realise i was losing empathy. because thats the only way i could connect with my mom. i had to be like her in order to comfort her and aid her trauma. everything that she's undergone has to be understood by me and i should support her. because of that, i lived my enitre life believing that i was ungrateful whenever i wished she was different. its either that she's very kind and calm or she's being severely violent. i have been hit since i was 4-5 years old and i grew up believing it was the right thing to do. she'd spit such hurtful and manipulative statements but you cant talk back and if you did, you dont love your mother and your ungrateful because a mom behaving so is 'normal'. she'd apologize and agree to be a good mom saying she has been horrible, but if my sis or i agree with that and say that she indeed is, she's angry and uses abusive statements saying how no child is allowed to say that. also, having individual emotions is wrong and we're just the mirror images of her and every mother feels this way so if we went against it, we; re the weird ones. i grew up thinking every abnormal thing she did /said was normal, and if i didnt do it, ill never fit in and ill be bullied and hated forever. now when i start to look at myself, i feel much at peace when i think about death. im severely suicidal but dont want to seek help because it feels like thats what im supposed to do and i feel happier. my girlfriend was the only one that made me realise what true love feels like. i was never able to reciprocate it in the right way, but now i cant unsee her gestures of true love. maybe its too late now, its better to end everything. it feels so good to watch someone validate my feelings by posting videos like this. i finally feel like im an individual existence who has a heart and soul of her own that CAN get hurt and feel anger.
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Kory
Toxic parents solve problems with their kids by using nothing but violence, yelling, threats, and punishments
Real loving parents solve problems with their kids by using their emotional intelligence
Toxic parents use nothing but their anger issues to solve problems with their kids
Real loving parents use understanding and listening to solve problems with their kids.
Toxic parents believe in forcing love and respect from their kids
Real loving parents believe in putting in the true effort to get it and actually a maintain a relationship with their kids
Toxic parents don't take no accountability for the wrongs that they do to their kids and are too stubborn and let pride get in the way
Real loving parents actually care about taking accountability for the wrongs that they do to their care kids and take ownership for their actions
Toxic parents are close minded
While real loving parents are not
Toxic parents make your teenage life miserable, annoying, and they make it hard for you to grow up
Real loving parents
Care about how they make you feel as a teen and as a human being
Toxic parents
See disrespect as not being a slave to them and not giving into their manipulation and blind obedience
Real loving parents
Sees disrespect as making their kid live by how they feel while they are not caring about how they make them feel in return
Toxic parents sees disrespect as being raw and honest about them as parents and how we feel about them as parents.
Real loving parents know how to take raw honesty about them as parents without letting their temper get out of the control
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Toxic parents solve problems with their kids by using nothing but violence, yelling, threats, and punishments
Real loving parents solve problems with their kids by using their emotional intelligence
Toxic parents use nothing but their anger issues to solve problems with their kids
Real loving parents use understanding and listening to solve problems with their kids.
Toxic parents believe in forcing love and respect from their kids
Real loving parents believe in putting in the true effort to get it and actually a maintain a relationship with their kids
Toxic parents don't take no accountability for the wrongs that they do to their kids and are too stubborn and let pride get in the way
Real loving parents actually care about taking accountability for the wrongs that they do to their care kids and take ownership for their actions
Toxic parents are close minded
While real loving parents are not
Toxic parents make your teenage life miserable, annoying, and they make it hard for you to grow up
Real loving parents
Care about how they make you feel as a teen and as a human being
Toxic parents
See disrespect as not being a slave to them and not giving into their manipulation and blind obedience
Real loving parents
Sees disrespect as making their kid live by how they feel while they are not caring about how they make them feel in return
Toxic parents sees disrespect as being raw and honest about them as parents and how we feel about them as parents.
Real loving parents know how to take raw honesty about them as parents without letting their temper get out of the control
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HBRTOZ
I feel like a trained dog. I hate it. But I depend on them. I eat their food and I stay under their roof.
Im not allowed to speak in their house. Like literally if they are talking I cant speak. If they are yelling I am not allowed to speak.
So many misunderstandings over the years that resulted in them screaming in my face and smacking me (only when younger though, then stopped when I was 16, but still yelling) but so many misunderstandings that could have been avoided if I was allowed to break house hold rules of not being allowed to speak. I could have just explained that what they were angry at was a misunderstanding or had nothing to do with me.
Ive only ever talked back one time to my dad and the house started shaking with yelling. It was bad.
The weird thing is that they wonder why I dont hug them I feel awkward doing it when we are at family events bec it feels fake. Then they get upset that me feeling awkward showing affection makes them look bad. That I shouldnt act this way since they provide me with food and shelter and I am ungrateful since k act that way. So I now have to act fake and pretend I like them in front of family its so weird.
I just want to leave and when I do I want to yell so bad for the 2nd time.
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I feel like a trained dog. I hate it. But I depend on them. I eat their food and I stay under their roof.
Im not allowed to speak in their house. Like literally if they are talking I cant speak. If they are yelling I am not allowed to speak.
So many misunderstandings over the years that resulted in them screaming in my face and smacking me (only when younger though, then stopped when I was 16, but still yelling) but so many misunderstandings that could have been avoided if I was allowed to break house hold rules of not being allowed to speak. I could have just explained that what they were angry at was a misunderstanding or had nothing to do with me.
Ive only ever talked back one time to my dad and the house started shaking with yelling. It was bad.
The weird thing is that they wonder why I dont hug them I feel awkward doing it when we are at family events bec it feels fake. Then they get upset that me feeling awkward showing affection makes them look bad. That I shouldnt act this way since they provide me with food and shelter and I am ungrateful since k act that way. So I now have to act fake and pretend I like them in front of family its so weird.
I just want to leave and when I do I want to yell so bad for the 2nd time.
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education
So when I was a kid I remember that both my mother and father kicked me on my leg and my mom when she's mad she just slapped me and when I was working on a project and didn't come out on my room for 6 hours they blame for being addicted on my phone and even said I have a
Boyfriend like bruh i was a kid that time and one day on my room while I'm studying I see a rope and tie that rope on my ceiling and I was planning to do suicide but I realized that there's person too who's loving me and the worst part too is that both of my grandparents too is affecting me like my grandpa body shamed me my grandma blamed me for being lazy even though I was just tired but now that I'm 20 years old I was free from cause when I was at the age of 18 I reported them and the authorities said that they are accused of abuse but they denied it and it even got to the court but at last they are proved they are toxic and I got adopted to by my 4th grade teacher who was very nice to me and supported me and because I want to help people with mental illness I got a psychology course and my parents came back and said to me to go back to them and I said no I have more supportive family now
(Yeah I know my life is like a drama but this really happen to me)
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So when I was a kid I remember that both my mother and father kicked me on my leg and my mom when she's mad she just slapped me and when I was working on a project and didn't come out on my room for 6 hours they blame for being addicted on my phone and even said I have a
Boyfriend like bruh i was a kid that time and one day on my room while I'm studying I see a rope and tie that rope on my ceiling and I was planning to do suicide but I realized that there's person too who's loving me and the worst part too is that both of my grandparents too is affecting me like my grandpa body shamed me my grandma blamed me for being lazy even though I was just tired but now that I'm 20 years old I was free from cause when I was at the age of 18 I reported them and the authorities said that they are accused of abuse but they denied it and it even got to the court but at last they are proved they are toxic and I got adopted to by my 4th grade teacher who was very nice to me and supported me and because I want to help people with mental illness I got a psychology course and my parents came back and said to me to go back to them and I said no I have more supportive family now
(Yeah I know my life is like a drama but this really happen to me)
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Madam
Why be rude to us or mean when we dont even have a chance to explain. Moms or dads be on a call and say SHH Im sorry but I have a RIGHT to talk and state my intentions and what Im thinking so dont tell me to shhh cuz I have a right and saying do this and do that next time ima say I have a right to do it and if I wanna do it I will but I dont cant force me cuz your doing something against my will and I will not stand for it and we throw a fit were expressing how we feel without saying cuz you would yell at us so we ACT how we feel and I dont care when you say back in my day we did not have phones or other stuff are we back in your time NO were in our time were we have these things that we can use and we will and Im not you so yeah, also telling me what to wear NO its my fashion ok and I always pick out my outfit at the end so pls shut up
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Why be rude to us or mean when we dont even have a chance to explain. Moms or dads be on a call and say SHH Im sorry but I have a RIGHT to talk and state my intentions and what Im thinking so dont tell me to shhh cuz I have a right and saying do this and do that next time ima say I have a right to do it and if I wanna do it I will but I dont cant force me cuz your doing something against my will and I will not stand for it and we throw a fit were expressing how we feel without saying cuz you would yell at us so we ACT how we feel and I dont care when you say back in my day we did not have phones or other stuff are we back in your time NO were in our time were we have these things that we can use and we will and Im not you so yeah, also telling me what to wear NO its my fashion ok and I always pick out my outfit at the end so pls shut up
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MiddleChild
As someone who was raised in a very toxic environment, being told my dad's failures were my fault, being told nothing I did was good enough, being called all kinds of names and more, I can say, I got out. I got myself mentally healthy, and eventually got married to someone who deserved me. We even have a child together. That child is 8, and ever since she was born, I've done my absolute best to ensure she grows up knowing she is loved beyond measure, knowing she can talk about her feelings. When there are problens, we work together to solve them. I don't call her rude names, but use plenty of terms of endearment. I don't blame her for my shortcomings or mistakes. She knows she IS good enough, and her dad and I will always support her. And I just don't understand how someone could NOT do that for their child.
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As someone who was raised in a very toxic environment, being told my dad's failures were my fault, being told nothing I did was good enough, being called all kinds of names and more, I can say, I got out. I got myself mentally healthy, and eventually got married to someone who deserved me. We even have a child together. That child is 8, and ever since she was born, I've done my absolute best to ensure she grows up knowing she is loved beyond measure, knowing she can talk about her feelings. When there are problens, we work together to solve them. I don't call her rude names, but use plenty of terms of endearment. I don't blame her for my shortcomings or mistakes. She knows she IS good enough, and her dad and I will always support her. And I just don't understand how someone could NOT do that for their child.
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WhatPach
Um. Just an interesting fact: in the 1st part 4/7 signs were and there are 3/6 maximum. But also, I still don't think about toxicity of my parent. We can communicate, but not so much, and some problems in our relationships are my fault (for example, didn't support or didn't praise for something.
I can say the reason why everything changed like this, and say this as a reason. It is because before everything was better, and after one of the worst events it changed our lives (yes, I'm talking about 24. 02. 2022, 5: 00 AM (GMT+3. We have our problems, and know that our situation is way better than others from our country, and. It's really complicated to describe everything: /
The result: check everything what you can (even past) and don't blame someone in something before time
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Um. Just an interesting fact: in the 1st part 4/7 signs were and there are 3/6 maximum. But also, I still don't think about toxicity of my parent. We can communicate, but not so much, and some problems in our relationships are my fault (for example, didn't support or didn't praise for something.
I can say the reason why everything changed like this, and say this as a reason. It is because before everything was better, and after one of the worst events it changed our lives (yes, I'm talking about 24. 02. 2022, 5: 00 AM (GMT+3. We have our problems, and know that our situation is way better than others from our country, and. It's really complicated to describe everything: /
The result: check everything what you can (even past) and don't blame someone in something before time
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Dreadblader
Watching both parts, I realized my parents are completely toxic. They throw around/away my personal stuff just because they're mad, they also belittle me for everything I do wrong. I guess that's the reason I feel safe, loved, and at home at my best friend's house because his family is actually nice and loving. And they don't discriminate every mistake I make. Being at my best friend's house makes me feel welcome, accepted, and loved. And because my parents are that toxic, I've ended up trying to run away multiple times, sometimes I just wish I could live with my best friend for the rest of my life.
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Watching both parts, I realized my parents are completely toxic. They throw around/away my personal stuff just because they're mad, they also belittle me for everything I do wrong. I guess that's the reason I feel safe, loved, and at home at my best friend's house because his family is actually nice and loving. And they don't discriminate every mistake I make. Being at my best friend's house makes me feel welcome, accepted, and loved. And because my parents are that toxic, I've ended up trying to run away multiple times, sometimes I just wish I could live with my best friend for the rest of my life.
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Mumma
Feel I watch these for validation. again & again & again & again & again & again & again. I'm healing and feel so much better since I stopped contact still being blamed and guilt tripped. if I'm so toxic, selfish, evil, horrible then surely I've done the best thing for YOU! They will never change. And I never treat my children in such a way. I'm a good mother and considerate and puy myself last after everyone. I AM going to heaven lady! Damaged or not. sending love to each and every 1 of u who has suffered. U are strong, kind, clever, beautiful and can loved and be loved. ur worth a million of them! Xxx
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Feel I watch these for validation. again & again & again & again & again & again & again. I'm healing and feel so much better since I stopped contact still being blamed and guilt tripped. if I'm so toxic, selfish, evil, horrible then surely I've done the best thing for YOU! They will never change. And I never treat my children in such a way. I'm a good mother and considerate and puy myself last after everyone. I AM going to heaven lady! Damaged or not. sending love to each and every 1 of u who has suffered. U are strong, kind, clever, beautiful and can loved and be loved. ur worth a million of them! Xxx
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Marlon
1 and 2 really described my parents
Actually an hour ago, because of asking my mom for a few money for paying some expenses she makes the situation worse coz she bursted all of her anger to me that she almost stabbed the scissor to me just because it was only this time i asked and beg some few money to her because i have school expenses to pay next day. I didn't get my paycheck as a working student, from my job and i only got it every 2 weeks
But maybe next week i would totally move out of my parents because they put so much pressure to me and didn't understand my problems
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1 and 2 really described my parents
Actually an hour ago, because of asking my mom for a few money for paying some expenses she makes the situation worse coz she bursted all of her anger to me that she almost stabbed the scissor to me just because it was only this time i asked and beg some few money to her because i have school expenses to pay next day. I didn't get my paycheck as a working student, from my job and i only got it every 2 weeks
But maybe next week i would totally move out of my parents because they put so much pressure to me and didn't understand my problems
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education
i am 16 i got like a far dad i barely even talk to him he barely pays for my bills and barelly even cares he got remarried to another woman and have another 3 children and forgot about me my mom did the same and she barelly even cares about me anymore i live with my mom but everyday it's just a bad talk and sometimes i feel like i am the problem even though i did nothing and sometimes it's hard for a person to actually think of leaving their parents please wish me the support i need and thank you for your time
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i am 16 i got like a far dad i barely even talk to him he barely pays for my bills and barelly even cares he got remarried to another woman and have another 3 children and forgot about me my mom did the same and she barelly even cares about me anymore i live with my mom but everyday it's just a bad talk and sometimes i feel like i am the problem even though i did nothing and sometimes it's hard for a person to actually think of leaving their parents please wish me the support i need and thank you for your time
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Terapia
Sorry but if it is normal to distance from toxic people so why it is not normal to distance from toxic parents? More over couple with sound which can motivate your partner to himself or herself in order to save family but we can not change our parents! Our parents will never apologize in front of us. They will always be defending themselves. They only seen we can do in order to save up our life is to distance from toxic parents to break up those toxic relationship!
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Sorry but if it is normal to distance from toxic people so why it is not normal to distance from toxic parents? More over couple with sound which can motivate your partner to himself or herself in order to save family but we can not change our parents! Our parents will never apologize in front of us. They will always be defending themselves. They only seen we can do in order to save up our life is to distance from toxic parents to break up those toxic relationship!
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Pika
I just left a month ago, but the damage has been done and it will take me years to heal. I would have left years sooner but. well. I guess it took my mother screaming at me for not doing the yard work while I was dying of a septic gallbladder that it finally hit me.
She never apologized, she only said, paraphrasing: oh, I didn't know you were dying or I wouldn't have yelled at you.
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I just left a month ago, but the damage has been done and it will take me years to heal. I would have left years sooner but. well. I guess it took my mother screaming at me for not doing the yard work while I was dying of a septic gallbladder that it finally hit me.
She never apologized, she only said, paraphrasing: oh, I didn't know you were dying or I wouldn't have yelled at you.
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Cacao-chan
The only WAY to fix me is that one special girl finds me and comes to me and date me and help me leave my family and replace my entire bloodline with her family like the Sopranos family cause when I get married I'm taking her lastname for a new start and as a new human cause rn I'm not a human I'm just a programmed T-800 I'm beyond hopeless it's better off is I wasn't here.
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The only WAY to fix me is that one special girl finds me and comes to me and date me and help me leave my family and replace my entire bloodline with her family like the Sopranos family cause when I get married I'm taking her lastname for a new start and as a new human cause rn I'm not a human I'm just a programmed T-800 I'm beyond hopeless it's better off is I wasn't here.
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education
I knew that my mother hated me from a very young age! I was punished for things that had happened in her family many years before she was married and I was born.
I eventually got help and understand what I own and what I do not. Still it was far too late. But for a few days Interlude, she has been out of my life for at least 30 years and that was still not enough.
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I knew that my mother hated me from a very young age! I was punished for things that had happened in her family many years before she was married and I was born.
I eventually got help and understand what I own and what I do not. Still it was far too late. But for a few days Interlude, she has been out of my life for at least 30 years and that was still not enough.
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education
Me: Washes a ton of dishes for a total stranger
The stranger: Thank you so much! You're so helpful and kind!
Me: washes dishes at home
My mother: You didn't clean the sink strainers out. You never clean them out. (untrue) I'm always going behind you. I need a break around here, nobody helps me, I don't feel like doing anything, I'm too tired. boo-hoo-hoo.
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Me: Washes a ton of dishes for a total stranger
The stranger: Thank you so much! You're so helpful and kind!
Me: washes dishes at home
My mother: You didn't clean the sink strainers out. You never clean them out. (untrue) I'm always going behind you. I need a break around here, nobody helps me, I don't feel like doing anything, I'm too tired. boo-hoo-hoo.
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its
to people who have toxic parents and are still living with them (like me, just remember, all the toxicity is only till u are an adult and move out. after u move out, they are NOT YOUR BOSS BUT YOU ARE. deal with it till u get rid of it. And most importantly if u want to cry, CRY. Holding back Ur tears can lead to depression and other mental disorders. take care yall
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to people who have toxic parents and are still living with them (like me, just remember, all the toxicity is only till u are an adult and move out. after u move out, they are NOT YOUR BOSS BUT YOU ARE. deal with it till u get rid of it. And most importantly if u want to cry, CRY. Holding back Ur tears can lead to depression and other mental disorders. take care yall
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Lady
I remember asking my mom why her mom never learned sign language to communicate with her daughter (my mom's sister)
The response: Mom just said she knows how to talk to her daughter and she understands.
Me as a child watching my grandma communicate (yell) at her daughter:
What the hell is wrong with you? You hear me talking to you girl?
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I remember asking my mom why her mom never learned sign language to communicate with her daughter (my mom's sister)
The response: Mom just said she knows how to talk to her daughter and she understands.
Me as a child watching my grandma communicate (yell) at her daughter:
What the hell is wrong with you? You hear me talking to you girl?
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Clara
With my mom when I was young she would hover over me as I did school work. If I made a mistake or even wrote anything, shed literally scream behind me and say what are you doing! And either hit me or yell at me for making mistakes. It affects me now if anyone stands behind me to watch me work.
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With my mom when I was young she would hover over me as I did school work. If I made a mistake or even wrote anything, shed literally scream behind me and say what are you doing! And either hit me or yell at me for making mistakes. It affects me now if anyone stands behind me to watch me work.
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education
Me: forgets a household chore because I'm busy doing something else I've got to get done
My mother after doing it herself: I'm tired of being the only who does this or that, you used to help me more around here, you've slacked off on doing stuff. blah blah blah
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Me: forgets a household chore because I'm busy doing something else I've got to get done
My mother after doing it herself: I'm tired of being the only who does this or that, you used to help me more around here, you've slacked off on doing stuff. blah blah blah
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AKS
i wish i could go back in time and just tell my dad that the kid you're going to raise is going to have a mind, thoughts, personality and a life of his own. and if he wants to keep that child inside the small space of their boundaries. then just dont give birth to him.
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i wish i could go back in time and just tell my dad that the kid you're going to raise is going to have a mind, thoughts, personality and a life of his own. and if he wants to keep that child inside the small space of their boundaries. then just dont give birth to him.
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One
I think for a strong mind to grow, you need these parents, abusive and obnoxious father and mother. Because loving parents create dependent children who never turn into man. The child will never know what hatred is and will never truly realize what love is.
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I think for a strong mind to grow, you need these parents, abusive and obnoxious father and mother. Because loving parents create dependent children who never turn into man. The child will never know what hatred is and will never truly realize what love is.
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GigaNigga
You know what really boils my blood? When people who didn't have to deal with toxic parents and had a good childhood come along and say shit like don't say about them like that they love you they're doing it only for your betterment etc.
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You know what really boils my blood? When people who didn't have to deal with toxic parents and had a good childhood come along and say shit like don't say about them like that they love you they're doing it only for your betterment etc.
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Jean-Pierre
Not my parents but most of my family. To be honest I hate them with every fiber of my being, for how they treat me I can't even stand being in the same room as them. One day I'll leave and never look back hell I hope we oceans apart.
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Not my parents but most of my family. To be honest I hate them with every fiber of my being, for how they treat me I can't even stand being in the same room as them. One day I'll leave and never look back hell I hope we oceans apart.
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MEONG
Even when a doctor told my parents to pay more attention because the test results showed that I was depressed, their reaction on the way home was that doctor was talking nonsense. And my siblings mocked me when my mother told them
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Even when a doctor told my parents to pay more attention because the test results showed that I was depressed, their reaction on the way home was that doctor was talking nonsense. And my siblings mocked me when my mother told them
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