8 Childhood Lessons You Should Unlearn
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
TheCharbeeClub
I think another thing should be Giving Up is Okay
As a kid I was always taught to never give up. Whenever I was having a hard time with something, the adult figures in my life would just tell me that if I just keep trying and never quit I'll figure everything out. However, that's not true. Sometimes the best tool you can have in life is the tool of knowing when it's time to quit. If you never give up and just push yourself to your limits, you're going to burn yourself out and you're not going to want to try anything ever again. I think this Never Give Up quote should be replaced with Do your best. The best thing you can do is try your best and give it your all, and then when it feels like you've done enough and there's nothing you can do to change the situation, give yourself a break so you'll have energy to fight another day. There's a quote I heard once. I can't remember where it's from or what it exactly says, but it goes something like this, Save your energy for things you can change, forgive the ones you can't
Another thought: Talking back to people is okay
I remember that I was never taught the concept of talking back to adults. I still don't understand it very much, but I remember once in Kindergarten-3rd grade I got in trouble for something at school and my teacher was giving me the talk. I tried to defend my side by saying that I wasn't in the wrong and I tried to explain the situation from my perspective. My teacher looked me dead in the eyes and just said, Did you just talk back to me?
Ever since that day, I've still had trouble backing up my opinions and my thoughts and standing up for what I think is right to people who are older than me. I don't think kids should be taught that just because they are younger than some people means that their opinions aren't valid because in reality, they are.
Now, you should never talk back to anyone in a disrespectful manner, but you should be allowed to share your side of the story without being looked down upon as immature or selfish
TL; DR: Giving up is okay and your opinions are valid no matter who you're up against
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I think another thing should be Giving Up is Okay
As a kid I was always taught to never give up. Whenever I was having a hard time with something, the adult figures in my life would just tell me that if I just keep trying and never quit I'll figure everything out. However, that's not true. Sometimes the best tool you can have in life is the tool of knowing when it's time to quit. If you never give up and just push yourself to your limits, you're going to burn yourself out and you're not going to want to try anything ever again. I think this Never Give Up quote should be replaced with Do your best. The best thing you can do is try your best and give it your all, and then when it feels like you've done enough and there's nothing you can do to change the situation, give yourself a break so you'll have energy to fight another day. There's a quote I heard once. I can't remember where it's from or what it exactly says, but it goes something like this, Save your energy for things you can change, forgive the ones you can't
Another thought: Talking back to people is okay
I remember that I was never taught the concept of talking back to adults. I still don't understand it very much, but I remember once in Kindergarten-3rd grade I got in trouble for something at school and my teacher was giving me the talk. I tried to defend my side by saying that I wasn't in the wrong and I tried to explain the situation from my perspective. My teacher looked me dead in the eyes and just said, Did you just talk back to me?
Ever since that day, I've still had trouble backing up my opinions and my thoughts and standing up for what I think is right to people who are older than me. I don't think kids should be taught that just because they are younger than some people means that their opinions aren't valid because in reality, they are.
Now, you should never talk back to anyone in a disrespectful manner, but you should be allowed to share your side of the story without being looked down upon as immature or selfish
TL; DR: Giving up is okay and your opinions are valid no matter who you're up against
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Lindsey
My father when I was younger would yell at me for never shutting my mouth, and now he yells at me for never speaking loud enough. He would tell me to stop complaining, but thats all he ever does. He told me when I was 6 that I should not chew with my mouth open, so I stopped so I wouldn't get yelled at, but the only way he eats is chewing with his mouth open. If I do things my way instead of his I get yelled at. And if I ever cry infront of him it's game over for me. One day my family was at my sisters tennis game and I mentioned I had picture day at school coming up, and he said oh your going to actually have to look nice for once. He is part of the reason I have mental break downs often. I mean my mother isn't much better. My sister's has severe anxiety shes going to a therapist and takes meds. I have been bullied physically and emotionally since I was 5, I get ignored at school and live in constant fear that someone is going to hurt me. One day I had a random and extreme panic attack, I called my mom, she picked me up, acted all nice, until we got to the car. Then she screamed at me saying that I wasn't as bad as my sister and my feelings don't matter. Now I have my sister and parent's who offer no support, I have a friend that is only using me for his personal benefit, and I friend that talks mean about me behind my back, I'm sick and tired of it but I keep my mouth shut. My self esteem has also been dropping since I've been rejected by 4 boys in the last year. That sounds like I move on fast but I got to know each boy very well. I can't wait till I can move out.
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My father when I was younger would yell at me for never shutting my mouth, and now he yells at me for never speaking loud enough. He would tell me to stop complaining, but thats all he ever does. He told me when I was 6 that I should not chew with my mouth open, so I stopped so I wouldn't get yelled at, but the only way he eats is chewing with his mouth open. If I do things my way instead of his I get yelled at. And if I ever cry infront of him it's game over for me. One day my family was at my sisters tennis game and I mentioned I had picture day at school coming up, and he said oh your going to actually have to look nice for once. He is part of the reason I have mental break downs often. I mean my mother isn't much better. My sister's has severe anxiety shes going to a therapist and takes meds. I have been bullied physically and emotionally since I was 5, I get ignored at school and live in constant fear that someone is going to hurt me. One day I had a random and extreme panic attack, I called my mom, she picked me up, acted all nice, until we got to the car. Then she screamed at me saying that I wasn't as bad as my sister and my feelings don't matter. Now I have my sister and parent's who offer no support, I have a friend that is only using me for his personal benefit, and I friend that talks mean about me behind my back, I'm sick and tired of it but I keep my mouth shut. My self esteem has also been dropping since I've been rejected by 4 boys in the last year. That sounds like I move on fast but I got to know each boy very well. I can't wait till I can move out.
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SNOOZE
Im still a kid, but it seems I know how to raise a child emotionally better than my family does. They all follow the rules of;
Dont talk back,
dont raise your voice at me,
calm down,
(or whenever Im angry, just like the other day and they wouldnt let pass them so I could be alone) they said, whats wrong with you,
theyd gossip all the time, and started seeing I do that all the time and I know it may be annoying- but I can help it,
Im the adult, your the child,
Im an adult- you need to respect me,
Im not one of your little friends!
And they always bring up my past mistakes, like how I was held back in the first grade because I couldnt understand the sudden change in how classes were set up and I only shapes and colors- heck, I was still learning the alphabet!
You shouldve known better!
And they always think I should know something because Im 13, but I was never taught how to do anything. And then they begin complaining about how lazy I am- but whenever I want to do something or talk so someone, everyone in the house is either doing there own thing or sitting around watching TV, while Im not just on my tablet doing nothing, Im trying to education myself on things they refuse or forget to tell me, and bettering my art skills- which is something that can gain me a career.
And they also force careers into me, I know in the last sentence I said art could be a career for me, but they always pressure me become an artist or something like that. Im thinking of just doing it so they shut up about it.
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Im still a kid, but it seems I know how to raise a child emotionally better than my family does. They all follow the rules of;
Dont talk back,
dont raise your voice at me,
calm down,
(or whenever Im angry, just like the other day and they wouldnt let pass them so I could be alone) they said, whats wrong with you,
theyd gossip all the time, and started seeing I do that all the time and I know it may be annoying- but I can help it,
Im the adult, your the child,
Im an adult- you need to respect me,
Im not one of your little friends!
And they always bring up my past mistakes, like how I was held back in the first grade because I couldnt understand the sudden change in how classes were set up and I only shapes and colors- heck, I was still learning the alphabet!
You shouldve known better!
And they always think I should know something because Im 13, but I was never taught how to do anything. And then they begin complaining about how lazy I am- but whenever I want to do something or talk so someone, everyone in the house is either doing there own thing or sitting around watching TV, while Im not just on my tablet doing nothing, Im trying to education myself on things they refuse or forget to tell me, and bettering my art skills- which is something that can gain me a career.
And they also force careers into me, I know in the last sentence I said art could be a career for me, but they always pressure me become an artist or something like that. Im thinking of just doing it so they shut up about it.
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Prophetic
Another one that can be unintentionally harmful is the don't talk to strangers rule. I know telling a child not to talk to strangers is important to keep them safe from potential abduction, but I keep getting told by my dad that I used to be a really friendly child and would randomly go up to people and talk to them about myself and my family all the time. I distinctly remember a class trip in 1st grade where, even though I was still with the group, I got on trouble for just saying hello to an adult passing us by, which I think I also got punished for when I got home. I wonder sometimes if that specifically contributed to the fact that I have such a problem with speaking to new people, or even people I've known for a while. To this day, my mother still presses the fact that I could easily be robbed or kidnapped or attacked at pretty much any given time, mainly when we're traveling together, and all that does is make my anxiety act up. I do my best to keep the information handy in the event that I do need to defend myself, but I can't do that without the fear of the scenarios she's put in my head overwhelming me.
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Another one that can be unintentionally harmful is the don't talk to strangers rule. I know telling a child not to talk to strangers is important to keep them safe from potential abduction, but I keep getting told by my dad that I used to be a really friendly child and would randomly go up to people and talk to them about myself and my family all the time. I distinctly remember a class trip in 1st grade where, even though I was still with the group, I got on trouble for just saying hello to an adult passing us by, which I think I also got punished for when I got home. I wonder sometimes if that specifically contributed to the fact that I have such a problem with speaking to new people, or even people I've known for a while. To this day, my mother still presses the fact that I could easily be robbed or kidnapped or attacked at pretty much any given time, mainly when we're traveling together, and all that does is make my anxiety act up. I do my best to keep the information handy in the event that I do need to defend myself, but I can't do that without the fear of the scenarios she's put in my head overwhelming me.
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Danimations
i tought i wont get anything here-
but the 1st one is half my case
they say girls dont cry or you will look ugly but i ignore that and that is to my 3 years old sister
they just make ANY seriusly chat really tense and the fact that they dont trust that i wont take inapropiate fotos chat with strangers and watch 18+ stuff just makes that a fear to say something
i also got a fear to being touched or disgust well more like disgust even for my own family since they seem to talk a lot of crap of my uncles when they leaved home to go to USA do a lot of disgusting things without washing their hands and dont seem to worry for anything
so no only i dont like talking but being touched
Edit: im also insecure of telling any problem i got and even small ones
i just couldnt got to my zoom class and my gran wont stop screaming acting nervous and that stuff for my error
so im facking my virtual class just for that
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i tought i wont get anything here-
but the 1st one is half my case
they say girls dont cry or you will look ugly but i ignore that and that is to my 3 years old sister
they just make ANY seriusly chat really tense and the fact that they dont trust that i wont take inapropiate fotos chat with strangers and watch 18+ stuff just makes that a fear to say something
i also got a fear to being touched or disgust well more like disgust even for my own family since they seem to talk a lot of crap of my uncles when they leaved home to go to USA do a lot of disgusting things without washing their hands and dont seem to worry for anything
so no only i dont like talking but being touched
Edit: im also insecure of telling any problem i got and even small ones
i just couldnt got to my zoom class and my gran wont stop screaming acting nervous and that stuff for my error
so im facking my virtual class just for that
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AlexaSimps
Whenever mom asks me for my grades or whenever she asks me about school, I kinda start to panic because when I had bad grades, my mom would be angry at me and go to the principal's office to talk to my teachers and ask them why I have low grades and then she ask me why I didn't submit some of my work. I couldn't talk to my teacher because I get really scared not because they're scary, because Im too shy. Of course my mom know that I'm shy, and my mom told me to stop being shy and use my mouth and talk with my teacher(s) around. She would get really mad, I mean it's my fault for being too shy to ask or talk to my teachers about projects that I need to pass, but sometimes I try to conquer my shyness because I'm been shy since grade 1 to high school (grade 7. Thank you for reading my long story(if you read it, sorry if it's long lol)
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Whenever mom asks me for my grades or whenever she asks me about school, I kinda start to panic because when I had bad grades, my mom would be angry at me and go to the principal's office to talk to my teachers and ask them why I have low grades and then she ask me why I didn't submit some of my work. I couldn't talk to my teacher because I get really scared not because they're scary, because Im too shy. Of course my mom know that I'm shy, and my mom told me to stop being shy and use my mouth and talk with my teacher(s) around. She would get really mad, I mean it's my fault for being too shy to ask or talk to my teachers about projects that I need to pass, but sometimes I try to conquer my shyness because I'm been shy since grade 1 to high school (grade 7. Thank you for reading my long story(if you read it, sorry if it's long lol)
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Deanna
I definitely need to unlearn that I'm not allowed to make mistakes. It's not because of my parents, but when I was at school in the 4th grade everytime I did a mistake or did something wrong I was always punished which is why I developed a bad habit of over-apoligizing because if I said I'm sorry enough times then I won't get a severe punishment and I always try to do everything right because if it's not right then it's wrong which can lead to impending doom or disaster for myself and my family.
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I definitely need to unlearn that I'm not allowed to make mistakes. It's not because of my parents, but when I was at school in the 4th grade everytime I did a mistake or did something wrong I was always punished which is why I developed a bad habit of over-apoligizing because if I said I'm sorry enough times then I won't get a severe punishment and I always try to do everything right because if it's not right then it's wrong which can lead to impending doom or disaster for myself and my family.
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Ted
Quotes from my dad to my 9 year old autistic brother (some might be wrong I have a bad memory) (might add more later) (Im not gonna say my age but lets just say Im pretty young)
Shut up already, asshole!
Im sick of your goddamn tantrums!
Shut up your crying!
Stop being a jerk and dont tell your sister (me) to leave your room! (anytime I go in there he (brother) tells me to get out) (he can barely have privacy)
Oh shut up already!
Im sick and tired of you being an asshole!
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Quotes from my dad to my 9 year old autistic brother (some might be wrong I have a bad memory) (might add more later) (Im not gonna say my age but lets just say Im pretty young)
Shut up already, asshole!
Im sick of your goddamn tantrums!
Shut up your crying!
Stop being a jerk and dont tell your sister (me) to leave your room! (anytime I go in there he (brother) tells me to get out) (he can barely have privacy)
Oh shut up already!
Im sick and tired of you being an asshole!
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EddenDrawsAnime
When i was younger my dad use to say why are you Crying? your a Marines Daughter! Don't show weakness!
i was always pressured to hold in my emotions, and act tough,
i am strong, yes, but i also grew up thinking crying was Bad. my sister and mom dont Understand why when i cry i Say I'm Sorry its cause of what i was Told,
its OK to be sad, its OK to show emotions, they dont make you weak, you become stronger after you let all of it out, I'm still in the process of that,
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When i was younger my dad use to say why are you Crying? your a Marines Daughter! Don't show weakness!
i was always pressured to hold in my emotions, and act tough,
i am strong, yes, but i also grew up thinking crying was Bad. my sister and mom dont Understand why when i cry i Say I'm Sorry its cause of what i was Told,
its OK to be sad, its OK to show emotions, they dont make you weak, you become stronger after you let all of it out, I'm still in the process of that,
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Johan
The one thing I wished my parents taught me helping others, not that they didn't teach me that but like tough. I don't know if your parents did this, but usually when we walked by a homeless person or someone working on the street, they told me that if I don't work hard enough in school, I'm gonna end up like that. What I wish they rather taught me, was that if I work hard enough in school, I would be able to help those people. Is it wrong of me to think like that?
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The one thing I wished my parents taught me helping others, not that they didn't teach me that but like tough. I don't know if your parents did this, but usually when we walked by a homeless person or someone working on the street, they told me that if I don't work hard enough in school, I'm gonna end up like that. What I wish they rather taught me, was that if I work hard enough in school, I would be able to help those people. Is it wrong of me to think like that?
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JaffaCakes
#1 really hit hard for me because Ive the years Ive grown this bad habit of not showing my sadness and holding back my tears, so much so to the point where it physically HURTS to keep it all in but I still do, even when people tell me its okay to be sad.
Edit: after watching the the video, practically all of these describe the lessons that I was taught as a child, and the lessons that have corrupted my brain to the point where its irreversible now.
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#1 really hit hard for me because Ive the years Ive grown this bad habit of not showing my sadness and holding back my tears, so much so to the point where it physically HURTS to keep it all in but I still do, even when people tell me its okay to be sad.
Edit: after watching the the video, practically all of these describe the lessons that I was taught as a child, and the lessons that have corrupted my brain to the point where its irreversible now.
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qwqeeqwq
I was taught by my sister dont talk when adults are talking or dont talk when Im punishing others
This caused me to keep in my words and keep me afraid. I can never speak up and when I try to, I can imagine the fight going on and I would lose and my sis would make more sense. She always say dont talk to me like that, Im am an adult and I know what Im doing being an 11year old is hard too: /
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I was taught by my sister dont talk when adults are talking or dont talk when Im punishing others
This caused me to keep in my words and keep me afraid. I can never speak up and when I try to, I can imagine the fight going on and I would lose and my sis would make more sense. She always say dont talk to me like that, Im am an adult and I know what Im doing being an 11year old is hard too: /
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TEREZ1
when i worked in daycare with 2yo there were lots of tantrums. i'm very happy now that my approach was to talk with them about why they were having a tantrum (i never called it that. this worked super well and they started coming up to me to tell me when they started to feel overwhelmed. a 2yo knew when they were feeling overwhelmed! im still so proud of them, and hope those kiddos are well
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when i worked in daycare with 2yo there were lots of tantrums. i'm very happy now that my approach was to talk with them about why they were having a tantrum (i never called it that. this worked super well and they started coming up to me to tell me when they started to feel overwhelmed. a 2yo knew when they were feeling overwhelmed! im still so proud of them, and hope those kiddos are well
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Hello
I did bottle up my emotions before and maybe still do (but not as much as before) I stopped bottle up my emotions when I began to go deep into some dark thoughts about myself, I couldn't handle my own brain, my own thoughts and I slowly started to talk about my feelings with others, and it helped me (sorry for the grammar, it's probably terrible cause english isen't my first language)
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I did bottle up my emotions before and maybe still do (but not as much as before) I stopped bottle up my emotions when I began to go deep into some dark thoughts about myself, I couldn't handle my own brain, my own thoughts and I slowly started to talk about my feelings with others, and it helped me (sorry for the grammar, it's probably terrible cause english isen't my first language)
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AriStarAllies
a problem is that parents think young kids deserve what ever they want, but as they grow up there just like oh they'll somehow know you dont get all you want! and thats. not ok. just cuse your young dosent mean you should get whatever you want. also thats not a hevily cover lessson in mainstream childrens shows.
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a problem is that parents think young kids deserve what ever they want, but as they grow up there just like oh they'll somehow know you dont get all you want! and thats. not ok. just cuse your young dosent mean you should get whatever you want. also thats not a hevily cover lessson in mainstream childrens shows.
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Aest
Im glad ive already unlearned them through time
So now it just ticks me off when someone is down bc of these or if they tell me so
Im not comepletely mature but im mature enough to learn and understand these atleast more thanthe people i know my age or higher
Im actually proud of myself for once
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Im glad ive already unlearned them through time
So now it just ticks me off when someone is down bc of these or if they tell me so
Im not comepletely mature but im mature enough to learn and understand these atleast more thanthe people i know my age or higher
Im actually proud of myself for once
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Kai
Yeah I wasn't allowed to cry when I was younger, so now my parents are confused when I don't tell them I'm sad and i don't cry Infront of them, every time I'm s out to I just start to not be able to breath and start coughing and run away before I can cry Infront of them: P great parenting
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Yeah I wasn't allowed to cry when I was younger, so now my parents are confused when I don't tell them I'm sad and i don't cry Infront of them, every time I'm s out to I just start to not be able to breath and start coughing and run away before I can cry Infront of them: P great parenting
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Mary
1: 49 I relate to this one I act like a different person to fit in my laugh my smile my clothes my hobbys. I even act like different person in front of my parents they dont who I am for real what I am capable I dont even know who am and why I was born what I have to do for life
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1: 49 I relate to this one I act like a different person to fit in my laugh my smile my clothes my hobbys. I even act like different person in front of my parents they dont who I am for real what I am capable I dont even know who am and why I was born what I have to do for life
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aliza
I was having a little argument with my mom and she said you do the opposite of everyone else. So i told her yeah maybe im unique and she told me i was getting too proud of myself and she hated people who talk good about themselves. I dont even know what to say about it lol.
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I was having a little argument with my mom and she said you do the opposite of everyone else. So i told her yeah maybe im unique and she told me i was getting too proud of myself and she hated people who talk good about themselves. I dont even know what to say about it lol.
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LinkinLog
can we also talk about how kids are taught from a young age that selfish is a bad word and makes you bad?
Some selfishness is good, youre taking care of yourself. But its still good to be selfless.
Having a good balance of Selfish and Selfless is key.
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can we also talk about how kids are taught from a young age that selfish is a bad word and makes you bad?
Some selfishness is good, youre taking care of yourself. But its still good to be selfless.
Having a good balance of Selfish and Selfless is key.
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Ali
Another one that I heard a lot growing up- that I'm sure many people have experienced- is, children are meant to be seen, not heard. This can severely damage a child's social skills and in worst cases, lead to social anxiety in adolescence and even into adulthood
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Another one that I heard a lot growing up- that I'm sure many people have experienced- is, children are meant to be seen, not heard. This can severely damage a child's social skills and in worst cases, lead to social anxiety in adolescence and even into adulthood
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BanzaiIzzie
My mom and stepdad say really bad things about my dad, and I dont know why, like when I had wrote a poem about my Cool Dad Tee had said why not write about how ur mom is, and Im like I just want to say how cool my dad is. cant I do that?
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My mom and stepdad say really bad things about my dad, and I dont know why, like when I had wrote a poem about my Cool Dad Tee had said why not write about how ur mom is, and Im like I just want to say how cool my dad is. cant I do that?
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Nummy
My parents are understanding but my grandma I live with her and I go to therapy just because shes trying to make me sociable cause Im shy
Like you cant make someone sociable its normal to be shy
And shes like Its not normal
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My parents are understanding but my grandma I live with her and I go to therapy just because shes trying to make me sociable cause Im shy
Like you cant make someone sociable its normal to be shy
And shes like Its not normal
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ashleey
I was raised as only draw innocent things. and that means I cannot draw a murderer killing someone, or even a person swearing but the word is censored yet my parents still ask why I don't draw instead of using my phone: /
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I was raised as only draw innocent things. and that means I cannot draw a murderer killing someone, or even a person swearing but the word is censored yet my parents still ask why I don't draw instead of using my phone: /
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Amy
I think the last lesson is one of the few we should keep from our childhoods. While judging too much is a bad thing, sometimes it can save your life and helps you stay away from certain people.
Maybe judge in moderation?
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I think the last lesson is one of the few we should keep from our childhoods. While judging too much is a bad thing, sometimes it can save your life and helps you stay away from certain people.
Maybe judge in moderation?
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