5 Signs It's Gaslighting, Not a Disagreement
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Braeden
one interaction with my sister that I remember having is I was feeling insulted by something she said(can't remember what she said or what I felt like she was saying) so I explained this and she said that she never said the thing it felt like she said, which was true, but it still felt like she was heavily implying it, and then I said that and he got frustrated and apologized, but her tone felt like she was only doing it so I'd drop it. I also tend to avoid interacting with her and when I do she says that I shouldn't(or can't, can't remember exactly) avoid it just because of some disagreements(we have arguments almost if not every time we hang out. She also tends to act like she's my mom cuz she's older(not an older twin situation, she's 4 years older than me, this has gotten somewhat better as I've gotten older but it's still very annoying and she won't stop despite me and my actual mom telling her to. she also used to tickle me when I was younger even though I said I hated it and told her to stop while she was doing it because I was laughing as if it isn't an involuntary response. Sorry for the rant, I was just going to ask if this seemed like gaslighting cuz the vid did seem relatable even though it didn't quite match but it turned into a rant about my sister.
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one interaction with my sister that I remember having is I was feeling insulted by something she said(can't remember what she said or what I felt like she was saying) so I explained this and she said that she never said the thing it felt like she said, which was true, but it still felt like she was heavily implying it, and then I said that and he got frustrated and apologized, but her tone felt like she was only doing it so I'd drop it. I also tend to avoid interacting with her and when I do she says that I shouldn't(or can't, can't remember exactly) avoid it just because of some disagreements(we have arguments almost if not every time we hang out. She also tends to act like she's my mom cuz she's older(not an older twin situation, she's 4 years older than me, this has gotten somewhat better as I've gotten older but it's still very annoying and she won't stop despite me and my actual mom telling her to. she also used to tickle me when I was younger even though I said I hated it and told her to stop while she was doing it because I was laughing as if it isn't an involuntary response. Sorry for the rant, I was just going to ask if this seemed like gaslighting cuz the vid did seem relatable even though it didn't quite match but it turned into a rant about my sister.
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Captain
I want to add one that is kind of all of these:
The general whatever you are doing is lower quality than when i am doing it. Or what is effectively invalidating your achievements. Let me show an example:
Your father telling you oh your education is a bad education, you have no idea how good mine is. This does so many things with you. It makes you question your choice to study that education, it makes you question your perception of realiy regarding that education on its own. It makes you question whether you are capable of having the right knowledge and so many other things.
But remember - GASLIGHTERS ARE LYING. They are lying to improve their own perceived value and they do this by lowering yours. Whatever they can do to widen the gap between you and them.
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I want to add one that is kind of all of these:
The general whatever you are doing is lower quality than when i am doing it. Or what is effectively invalidating your achievements. Let me show an example:
Your father telling you oh your education is a bad education, you have no idea how good mine is. This does so many things with you. It makes you question your choice to study that education, it makes you question your perception of realiy regarding that education on its own. It makes you question whether you are capable of having the right knowledge and so many other things.
But remember - GASLIGHTERS ARE LYING. They are lying to improve their own perceived value and they do this by lowering yours. Whatever they can do to widen the gap between you and them.
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IceMaverick1986
So what happens if the person actually does have memory problems, behavior problems, and actually is diagnosed with these then causes you. to lose your sanity and gas light you because you're made to be the partner that remembers all the damn time and have stress on them 24/7? Is that YOU being the gaslighter? You're trying to make them see what's happening and they're causing you to go insane. Should you forgive them for the 200th time or tell them how to do something because it's not being done, forgottten, or not being taken care of? Not trying to make anyone feel small or anything. They forget too much, cause way too many behavior issues, so I should just put up with that? Or should I tell them to seek help if I want to keep the relationship?
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So what happens if the person actually does have memory problems, behavior problems, and actually is diagnosed with these then causes you. to lose your sanity and gas light you because you're made to be the partner that remembers all the damn time and have stress on them 24/7? Is that YOU being the gaslighter? You're trying to make them see what's happening and they're causing you to go insane. Should you forgive them for the 200th time or tell them how to do something because it's not being done, forgottten, or not being taken care of? Not trying to make anyone feel small or anything. They forget too much, cause way too many behavior issues, so I should just put up with that? Or should I tell them to seek help if I want to keep the relationship?
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Galactic
My parents gaslight me. They were very abusive. Ive tried to confront them about how they treated me and my siblings, and while there are some things that they own up to, there are just as many even worse things that they wont. Idk what to do, or how to approach this. Ive thought about family therapy, and so has my mom, but if Im being honest, Im afraid of both of my parents at this point. Every time I see them nowadays, I feel so drained, angry, and worthless. I just want us all to understand each other and live lovingly and peacefully. I can forgive how they treated me, I just want them to own up to it and have an honest conversation about it all.
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My parents gaslight me. They were very abusive. Ive tried to confront them about how they treated me and my siblings, and while there are some things that they own up to, there are just as many even worse things that they wont. Idk what to do, or how to approach this. Ive thought about family therapy, and so has my mom, but if Im being honest, Im afraid of both of my parents at this point. Every time I see them nowadays, I feel so drained, angry, and worthless. I just want us all to understand each other and live lovingly and peacefully. I can forgive how they treated me, I just want them to own up to it and have an honest conversation about it all.
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Christina
I can't trust you with any of my things. You don't get it I never said that. Those are just a few of the things I was told over and over. Anytime I try to share my feelings about hurtful things she has said and done, she says things like haha, you dont have a right to tell me how to communicate, after everything you did to me? Or other things that end up making me feel wrong for having feelings. She never apologizes or says anything that says she can see how she made me feel. She even accuses me of things I never did. Like provoking someone to flirt with me, giving them a reason to flirt.
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I can't trust you with any of my things. You don't get it I never said that. Those are just a few of the things I was told over and over. Anytime I try to share my feelings about hurtful things she has said and done, she says things like haha, you dont have a right to tell me how to communicate, after everything you did to me? Or other things that end up making me feel wrong for having feelings. She never apologizes or says anything that says she can see how she made me feel. She even accuses me of things I never did. Like provoking someone to flirt with me, giving them a reason to flirt.
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waste0Vspace
I tried to spend one day at home cos I needed time alone,
Spent almost the entire time literally 10 hours, being told off (too say the least)
Next day when I saw them I was sad and felt uncomfortable,
I was told I was weak and too emotional and sensitive, then told off for hurting the person with my actions, then had to confirm If I loved them
There's no way out of this issue.
They weaken you so much mentally that when U can run U don't and confused the rest of the time so you forget too
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I tried to spend one day at home cos I needed time alone,
Spent almost the entire time literally 10 hours, being told off (too say the least)
Next day when I saw them I was sad and felt uncomfortable,
I was told I was weak and too emotional and sensitive, then told off for hurting the person with my actions, then had to confirm If I loved them
There's no way out of this issue.
They weaken you so much mentally that when U can run U don't and confused the rest of the time so you forget too
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yueer
Having being gaslighted during workplace, ie leaders would ask questions like are you a primary student? in front of all hall of colleagues, and ironic/cynical responses as its amazing that you could make this so far. Their tricks constantly let you doubt yourself and your capabilities. I would encourage myself to accept whats adding value, but just ignore the negative by having the mind of this too shall pass. At the end of the day, your vulnerability is the capacity that you allow others to wound you
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Having being gaslighted during workplace, ie leaders would ask questions like are you a primary student? in front of all hall of colleagues, and ironic/cynical responses as its amazing that you could make this so far. Their tricks constantly let you doubt yourself and your capabilities. I would encourage myself to accept whats adding value, but just ignore the negative by having the mind of this too shall pass. At the end of the day, your vulnerability is the capacity that you allow others to wound you
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Silmary
My ex friend and I got into a really bad fight and she called me and said all these horrible things and even accused me of gaslighting and when I told her how it was making me feel she said Im being dramatic after this fight I stopped being her friend because she showed me who she truly is and realized she will never change it was one of the hardest thing I had to do because I loved her she meant so much to me but I cant sit there while she insults me and manipulated me
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My ex friend and I got into a really bad fight and she called me and said all these horrible things and even accused me of gaslighting and when I told her how it was making me feel she said Im being dramatic after this fight I stopped being her friend because she showed me who she truly is and realized she will never change it was one of the hardest thing I had to do because I loved her she meant so much to me but I cant sit there while she insults me and manipulated me
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Dustin
I have had a lot of people gaslight me in my life. Ive come to learn three things. 1) Know what youre talking about and dont make assumptions. 2) Remember what you and what the other person said so when they try to deny it you know they are the one who is wrong. Thats been very hard to do and I still slip up sometimes. 3) If it makes you feel bad, stop and examine why. If its something you did wrong then you can apologize. Never apologize when youve done nothing wrong.
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I have had a lot of people gaslight me in my life. Ive come to learn three things. 1) Know what youre talking about and dont make assumptions. 2) Remember what you and what the other person said so when they try to deny it you know they are the one who is wrong. Thats been very hard to do and I still slip up sometimes. 3) If it makes you feel bad, stop and examine why. If its something you did wrong then you can apologize. Never apologize when youve done nothing wrong.
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Darkshine
It took me a few years in therapy to realize that my mom and stepmom are both like this, but in different ways. One is emotionally distant and likes to point out where I failed like it was expected all along, the other not just berating me and blaming me for things I had no control over, but then telling stories about it later to people I don't know as if it was something funny. It's no wonder family events leave me with anxiety attacks.
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It took me a few years in therapy to realize that my mom and stepmom are both like this, but in different ways. One is emotionally distant and likes to point out where I failed like it was expected all along, the other not just berating me and blaming me for things I had no control over, but then telling stories about it later to people I don't know as if it was something funny. It's no wonder family events leave me with anxiety attacks.
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Tay
A lot has been happening over the past few months with having severe anxiety and I've taken it out on my partner. After watching this I admit that I have gaslighted him on so many occasions and only aware of it after watching this. I'm a strong person and often feel like I have to be strong all the time and have used words such as weak when I don't feel he has my back. I'm not proud of it at all. However it's something I'm going to work on.
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A lot has been happening over the past few months with having severe anxiety and I've taken it out on my partner. After watching this I admit that I have gaslighted him on so many occasions and only aware of it after watching this. I'm a strong person and often feel like I have to be strong all the time and have used words such as weak when I don't feel he has my back. I'm not proud of it at all. However it's something I'm going to work on.
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Delmy
This is so heartbreaking I wish I have never let that person into my life to hurt me in this way. I never deserved it. I gave it all. I was still trying being the people pleaser and putting all the blame on myself and apologizing for everything. And he enjoyed every minute of it because I know he likes to humiliate me. The only good thing out of it is my son. I love my son, but I do regret trusting the wrong man.
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This is so heartbreaking I wish I have never let that person into my life to hurt me in this way. I never deserved it. I gave it all. I was still trying being the people pleaser and putting all the blame on myself and apologizing for everything. And he enjoyed every minute of it because I know he likes to humiliate me. The only good thing out of it is my son. I love my son, but I do regret trusting the wrong man.
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Adnan
Mencuci otak object dan mengambil alih situasi kondisi dengan melakukan attack pshsyc emotion dri rasa kecemasan2 object. Untuk kepentingan ambigu pelaku. Belum ada cara kusus/metode untuk menghindari dan mengatasi masalah seperti ini. dalam dunia psikologi pun juga Masih Dalam pengembangan. karna cenderung yg rawan menjadi object sprti ini adalah Nolep2/Object yg sedang mengalami masalah2 dsb?
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Mencuci otak object dan mengambil alih situasi kondisi dengan melakukan attack pshsyc emotion dri rasa kecemasan2 object. Untuk kepentingan ambigu pelaku. Belum ada cara kusus/metode untuk menghindari dan mengatasi masalah seperti ini. dalam dunia psikologi pun juga Masih Dalam pengembangan. karna cenderung yg rawan menjadi object sprti ini adalah Nolep2/Object yg sedang mengalami masalah2 dsb?
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education
My gf abusive violent ex-husband let himself into her new house and yelled at her in front of her kids / (made her cry) looking to meet me. She wont tell him to stop and wont set boundaries. She is making me feel that Im being ridiculous and controlling. She called me a petulant child for telling her to please address this And set boundaries. I broke up with her today but Im struggling!
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My gf abusive violent ex-husband let himself into her new house and yelled at her in front of her kids / (made her cry) looking to meet me. She wont tell him to stop and wont set boundaries. She is making me feel that Im being ridiculous and controlling. She called me a petulant child for telling her to please address this And set boundaries. I broke up with her today but Im struggling!
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Kev
My ex once told me during an argument: I can't fully express myself and be considerate of your feelings at the same time. No one can, it's impossible. I thought my brain was going to explode, because I was sure that people do that on a daily basis. I was also sure that I was doing that our whole relationship. still boggles my mind on how she thought that was a logical statement.
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My ex once told me during an argument: I can't fully express myself and be considerate of your feelings at the same time. No one can, it's impossible. I thought my brain was going to explode, because I was sure that people do that on a daily basis. I was also sure that I was doing that our whole relationship. still boggles my mind on how she thought that was a logical statement.
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Targol
I think in some cultures, the person does not have a voice in decision makings. As a result, since they can not get what they want then they use a gaslighting technique. It is important to know what is the person up against, then come up with ways to deal with the problem. Unwillingness in this video was the key word for me to proceed with gaslights.
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I think in some cultures, the person does not have a voice in decision makings. As a result, since they can not get what they want then they use a gaslighting technique. It is important to know what is the person up against, then come up with ways to deal with the problem. Unwillingness in this video was the key word for me to proceed with gaslights.
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Eric
Gaslighter: Everything you say, think and do is wrong. All your problems are either imagined or fake or didn't happen. Even your feelings and how you explain your feelings to me is wrong. Here, let me show you how to say, think and do the right things, how to come back to reality, how to feel and how you should explain your feelings to me properly.
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Gaslighter: Everything you say, think and do is wrong. All your problems are either imagined or fake or didn't happen. Even your feelings and how you explain your feelings to me is wrong. Here, let me show you how to say, think and do the right things, how to come back to reality, how to feel and how you should explain your feelings to me properly.
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Justice,
Im wondering. what if there is a mental health issue? and the interaction makes you feel crazy, but yes you are in fact a little crazy. and what about selective memory? what if I don't actually remember the things she remembers from years ago. I don't want to gaslight by accident ya know? just trying to figure it out
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Im wondering. what if there is a mental health issue? and the interaction makes you feel crazy, but yes you are in fact a little crazy. and what about selective memory? what if I don't actually remember the things she remembers from years ago. I don't want to gaslight by accident ya know? just trying to figure it out
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Wendy
My last boyfriend was a textbook narcissist, and he gaslighted me all the time. After 5 years I finally can't to accept that he wasn't going to change, and to trust that if bad things were going to happen it would be too him, not me. Now, 5-1/2 years later, I'm grateful for the experience, and grateful that it's over.
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My last boyfriend was a textbook narcissist, and he gaslighted me all the time. After 5 years I finally can't to accept that he wasn't going to change, and to trust that if bad things were going to happen it would be too him, not me. Now, 5-1/2 years later, I'm grateful for the experience, and grateful that it's over.
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Patricia
Idk what to do. I've been married for 18 years. I've been going through this with my in laws and my s/o. I'm broken. But I have kids and I didn't get married to get divorced and I'm so far gone i just need to figure out how to cope with it now that I know I'm not crazy and there's a name for what's happening to me.
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Idk what to do. I've been married for 18 years. I've been going through this with my in laws and my s/o. I'm broken. But I have kids and I didn't get married to get divorced and I'm so far gone i just need to figure out how to cope with it now that I know I'm not crazy and there's a name for what's happening to me.
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Jesse
I cant believe I just on ironically heard someone say its your truth, so believe it. If you just expect people to mold to your truth, instead of the truth, what about their truth? Should you just mold to their truth and stick to that? What an insane, unbelievably toxic and detrimental advice.
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I cant believe I just on ironically heard someone say its your truth, so believe it. If you just expect people to mold to your truth, instead of the truth, what about their truth? Should you just mold to their truth and stick to that? What an insane, unbelievably toxic and detrimental advice.
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Lightning
How do you react when you know you are being gaslighted? Do you call them out for gaslighting or keep it a secret that you know? If you call them out for it, they will deny it because they don't want you to know that you are being gaslighted. So what should you do to stop it?
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How do you react when you know you are being gaslighted? Do you call them out for gaslighting or keep it a secret that you know? If you call them out for it, they will deny it because they don't want you to know that you are being gaslighted. So what should you do to stop it?
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Sara
I think my kid tries to gaslight me regularly. She's 6 and already a master of manipulation. And she does the love bomb method of trying to make up for her behavior, rather than apologizing with any real contrition or accountability. Her dad has some of those same traits, too.
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I think my kid tries to gaslight me regularly. She's 6 and already a master of manipulation. And she does the love bomb method of trying to make up for her behavior, rather than apologizing with any real contrition or accountability. Her dad has some of those same traits, too.
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He
When your partner starts gaslighting you. Live with your family for couple until you find yourself and ghost him. No need to explain him why youre doing this coz he will never understand. Just walk out and never look back. Thats how I overcame with gaslighting.
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When your partner starts gaslighting you. Live with your family for couple until you find yourself and ghost him. No need to explain him why youre doing this coz he will never understand. Just walk out and never look back. Thats how I overcame with gaslighting.
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Robert
Nobody wants to make content about how to distinguish good faith human misunderstandings from malicious gaslighting. I don't know about elsewhere, but around me, I hear the word gaslighting so often that its meaning gets lost.
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Nobody wants to make content about how to distinguish good faith human misunderstandings from malicious gaslighting. I don't know about elsewhere, but around me, I hear the word gaslighting so often that its meaning gets lost.
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