How To Deal With a Toxic Family
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
mifta
I've a toxic family too. & ig it hurts more when you used to love a person & found out she was a toxic person. Yep, that's my mom. I used to hate my dad since childhood. My bro's also toxic. But idk I just never used to think my mom as toxic. Then growing up I found out that my family is the whole package of toxicity & I was the only person who's not toxic like them. U guys can say maybe I'm toxic too cuz toxic people barely see their mistakes & blame others. Well, I used to blame myself for all the mistakes & after I became self-aware, after I learned more about mental health, peace, stress, etc I understood it's not my fault, it was them who were toxic towards me. Still, if we've any argument, I try to find who's wrong. As I told I used to love my mom, now that I know she's toxic, I still can't care less about her. I still love her. I still fear of my future without her. Now that my dad visits us 3 days a week, I'm free of his toxicity for at least 4 days a week though whenever he visits us, he argues with me, mom & my bro. But my mom, though I hate her behaviour, I still love her. & I came to know a thing which is, whenever I talk to my mom or any members of my family, I always find myself feeling anxious, drained, stressed. I'm 16 now. & I'll give my board exam next month. I was thinking to get a scholarship & go abroad. I'm introverted, I've social anxiety, I can't talk to people normally, I feel like stressed out or something when I talk to a stranger. So, can anyone suggest me if I should go abroad to study there+ also to get rid of this toxic family which I didn't tell my parents. Is this a good decision? I thought I'll wait till 18, but things are just getting worse. & also our countrys education system is pretty much bad. I'n only allowed to go abroad if I get a full scholarship btw. I also have a problem for why I'm confused about me going abroad which is- English isn't my native language, so I can't speak in proper English. I'm so confused if I should go abroad or not. Guyz, please help me.
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I've a toxic family too. & ig it hurts more when you used to love a person & found out she was a toxic person. Yep, that's my mom. I used to hate my dad since childhood. My bro's also toxic. But idk I just never used to think my mom as toxic. Then growing up I found out that my family is the whole package of toxicity & I was the only person who's not toxic like them. U guys can say maybe I'm toxic too cuz toxic people barely see their mistakes & blame others. Well, I used to blame myself for all the mistakes & after I became self-aware, after I learned more about mental health, peace, stress, etc I understood it's not my fault, it was them who were toxic towards me. Still, if we've any argument, I try to find who's wrong. As I told I used to love my mom, now that I know she's toxic, I still can't care less about her. I still love her. I still fear of my future without her. Now that my dad visits us 3 days a week, I'm free of his toxicity for at least 4 days a week though whenever he visits us, he argues with me, mom & my bro. But my mom, though I hate her behaviour, I still love her. & I came to know a thing which is, whenever I talk to my mom or any members of my family, I always find myself feeling anxious, drained, stressed. I'm 16 now. & I'll give my board exam next month. I was thinking to get a scholarship & go abroad. I'm introverted, I've social anxiety, I can't talk to people normally, I feel like stressed out or something when I talk to a stranger. So, can anyone suggest me if I should go abroad to study there+ also to get rid of this toxic family which I didn't tell my parents. Is this a good decision? I thought I'll wait till 18, but things are just getting worse. & also our countrys education system is pretty much bad. I'n only allowed to go abroad if I get a full scholarship btw. I also have a problem for why I'm confused about me going abroad which is- English isn't my native language, so I can't speak in proper English. I'm so confused if I should go abroad or not. Guyz, please help me.
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education
I don't have a toxic family myself, but I have a lot of friends with toxic family members. My friend, Clay, has a toxic family. His mother, his father, one of his sisters, and one of his uncles are toxic towards him. He does deal with it though. Recently, he moved in with his kind Aunt. My friend, Tiffany, has a toxic family. Her mother (sometimes, depending on her mood, one of her sisters, her uncle, and one of her cousins are toxic towards her. But she does deal with it by ignoring them most of the time and staying near her kind father and brothers instead. My friend, Gemma, has a toxic family. Her mother and father are toxic towards her. She does deal with it though, by moving in with her brother and grandmother. My friend, Sam, has a toxic family. His father and sister are toxic towards him, but he does deal with it by ignoring them and staying near his kind mother. My friend, Melanie, has a toxic father. But she does deal with it by her and her kind mother leaving him and moving into a new house. My friend, Wesley, has a toxic family. His mother, father, sister, one of his uncles, and one of his cousins are toxic towards them. He does deal with it by staying near his nice Aunt. My friend, Polly, has a toxic father (sometimes, depending on his mood, but she deals with it by staying away from him when he has a bad temper. My friend, Quentin, poor him, his whole entire family is toxic, his mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, and grandfather are all toxic to him. He can't even do anything yet and has to live with his toxic family. And that's all for now, just wanted to share this, I will give them these tips to help them deal with their toxic family: )
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I don't have a toxic family myself, but I have a lot of friends with toxic family members. My friend, Clay, has a toxic family. His mother, his father, one of his sisters, and one of his uncles are toxic towards him. He does deal with it though. Recently, he moved in with his kind Aunt. My friend, Tiffany, has a toxic family. Her mother (sometimes, depending on her mood, one of her sisters, her uncle, and one of her cousins are toxic towards her. But she does deal with it by ignoring them most of the time and staying near her kind father and brothers instead. My friend, Gemma, has a toxic family. Her mother and father are toxic towards her. She does deal with it though, by moving in with her brother and grandmother. My friend, Sam, has a toxic family. His father and sister are toxic towards him, but he does deal with it by ignoring them and staying near his kind mother. My friend, Melanie, has a toxic father. But she does deal with it by her and her kind mother leaving him and moving into a new house. My friend, Wesley, has a toxic family. His mother, father, sister, one of his uncles, and one of his cousins are toxic towards them. He does deal with it by staying near his nice Aunt. My friend, Polly, has a toxic father (sometimes, depending on his mood, but she deals with it by staying away from him when he has a bad temper. My friend, Quentin, poor him, his whole entire family is toxic, his mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, and grandfather are all toxic to him. He can't even do anything yet and has to live with his toxic family. And that's all for now, just wanted to share this, I will give them these tips to help them deal with their toxic family: )
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ѕ
I. I'm kinda start losing hope in living, that anxious and depressed feelings I don't think I can take it anymore I started harming myself to feel better but now it doesn't matter if I hurt myself, I'm scared of my future of my family members of myself that I might trun to someone like them but I rly wanna be a good person, I wanna die I I'm hard breathing science 3 days and I rly don't think I'm that strong to live anymore with them I just wanna disappear I wanna live alone so fckin' bad but I don't think I can live with them till that day, I rly wanna stop the time and take a break from being cursed at or waking up to their loud voices as they fight each other, I wake up in fear I live in fear I sleep wishing to not wake up I feel like there is something heavy on my heart telling me I can't that I can't handle this anymore, I hate myself even tho I know it's not my fault but can't help it but feel bad that I'm exist I don't even know y I'm writing this but idk I'll try hurting myself again maybe I'll feel better I'm starting to lose hope in life in my life
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I. I'm kinda start losing hope in living, that anxious and depressed feelings I don't think I can take it anymore I started harming myself to feel better but now it doesn't matter if I hurt myself, I'm scared of my future of my family members of myself that I might trun to someone like them but I rly wanna be a good person, I wanna die I I'm hard breathing science 3 days and I rly don't think I'm that strong to live anymore with them I just wanna disappear I wanna live alone so fckin' bad but I don't think I can live with them till that day, I rly wanna stop the time and take a break from being cursed at or waking up to their loud voices as they fight each other, I wake up in fear I live in fear I sleep wishing to not wake up I feel like there is something heavy on my heart telling me I can't that I can't handle this anymore, I hate myself even tho I know it's not my fault but can't help it but feel bad that I'm exist I don't even know y I'm writing this but idk I'll try hurting myself again maybe I'll feel better I'm starting to lose hope in life in my life
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Susan
I'm beginning to realize that just because someone is a parent it doesn't automatically mean they will love their children. In fact they can become your greatest enemies; dangerous and extremely manipulative. You have to view them as such, whether you have contact with them or not.
My family literally make me ill, mentally and physically. They know I have a serious mental health condition and take meds for it, but they do what they do anyway. If I complain I'm told I'm being selfish and that I should grow up.
I'm shocked at the hardness of some people. Even your own mother can be your greatest enemy. So you have to view them as such. They can never be trusted. No matter how much she tells you she loves you; they're mere words, but not borne out in reality.
In the end stopping contact may be the only solution. No matter what anyone else may think.
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I'm beginning to realize that just because someone is a parent it doesn't automatically mean they will love their children. In fact they can become your greatest enemies; dangerous and extremely manipulative. You have to view them as such, whether you have contact with them or not.
My family literally make me ill, mentally and physically. They know I have a serious mental health condition and take meds for it, but they do what they do anyway. If I complain I'm told I'm being selfish and that I should grow up.
I'm shocked at the hardness of some people. Even your own mother can be your greatest enemy. So you have to view them as such. They can never be trusted. No matter how much she tells you she loves you; they're mere words, but not borne out in reality.
In the end stopping contact may be the only solution. No matter what anyone else may think.
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Animetsy
Having a toxic father made me realise that I struggle to find boyfriend. n yes I have high expectations from him that he shouldn't have any qualities related to papa. bc ik myself that how much I've endured and was in depression during my teens ans late teens. Thanks to counselling I came to realise that my papa is narcissist. He care more about his relatives than me and my mother. his family are also narcissict. but one quality of papa was in my ex, showing overlove and indirectly degrading me if I didn't acted according to him. and later he was showing more signs and then I had enough and dumped him. bc I cannot tolerate such behaviour. I'm ready to be single for lifetime instead of being with people like papa.
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Having a toxic father made me realise that I struggle to find boyfriend. n yes I have high expectations from him that he shouldn't have any qualities related to papa. bc ik myself that how much I've endured and was in depression during my teens ans late teens. Thanks to counselling I came to realise that my papa is narcissist. He care more about his relatives than me and my mother. his family are also narcissict. but one quality of papa was in my ex, showing overlove and indirectly degrading me if I didn't acted according to him. and later he was showing more signs and then I had enough and dumped him. bc I cannot tolerate such behaviour. I'm ready to be single for lifetime instead of being with people like papa.
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f0kxi
I thought I hated my Dad, but his toxicity was just my perspective of him. Its only when I started experiencing situations where I was the older person, that I realized he wasn't the evil person I painted him to be. He was the scapegoat for everything I didnt like about life. I blamed him for everything, even things he had no control over. Now I thank him for being my dad. I don't agree with just block everyone. That's assuming we understand how life is supposed to play out. Maybe that negative thing is going to help you, but if you never see it if all you do is use negative segregative energy. I don't agree with going along with abuse, but it's easy to play victim, and devalue the things in your life.
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I thought I hated my Dad, but his toxicity was just my perspective of him. Its only when I started experiencing situations where I was the older person, that I realized he wasn't the evil person I painted him to be. He was the scapegoat for everything I didnt like about life. I blamed him for everything, even things he had no control over. Now I thank him for being my dad. I don't agree with just block everyone. That's assuming we understand how life is supposed to play out. Maybe that negative thing is going to help you, but if you never see it if all you do is use negative segregative energy. I don't agree with going along with abuse, but it's easy to play victim, and devalue the things in your life.
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Mahek
my father doesn't like me
my elder brother doesn't help me
my mum doesn't care
my sister leaves me alone when it gets hard
I don't know but I feel it's so toxic of them
and the freedom i want could only be accomplished if i study in this jail called home i get scholarship to a medical college
the subject i never wanted to learn
the thing that hurts the most is when they make fun of me being emotion and i literally have nobody to talk to. its just them i have in my life and they are being toxic
i swear to myself i would do my best i would give my everything and get what i want. the freedom and i will never return to this place
I SWEAR
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my father doesn't like me
my elder brother doesn't help me
my mum doesn't care
my sister leaves me alone when it gets hard
I don't know but I feel it's so toxic of them
and the freedom i want could only be accomplished if i study in this jail called home i get scholarship to a medical college
the subject i never wanted to learn
the thing that hurts the most is when they make fun of me being emotion and i literally have nobody to talk to. its just them i have in my life and they are being toxic
i swear to myself i would do my best i would give my everything and get what i want. the freedom and i will never return to this place
I SWEAR
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kinsemildrif
This is what I realized by having a toxic family 1. people will always say at the end you will always have family but really you just need yourself.
2. If you ever feel like your never gonna get out of those toxic enemies around you or dont know what to do with those opps, use them to get yourself up those people are making your life miserable, but I consider them by thinking they're doing that because they want you to get stronger. Its like using a scrap to create something ykyk 3. Once you are able to leave your household forget about them and act like you never had a parent or a family all this will be my plan in the future
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This is what I realized by having a toxic family 1. people will always say at the end you will always have family but really you just need yourself.
2. If you ever feel like your never gonna get out of those toxic enemies around you or dont know what to do with those opps, use them to get yourself up those people are making your life miserable, but I consider them by thinking they're doing that because they want you to get stronger. Its like using a scrap to create something ykyk 3. Once you are able to leave your household forget about them and act like you never had a parent or a family all this will be my plan in the future
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the
although helpful, what if your younger? I can't physically leave (I'm to young) and if I don't answer one of their questions, BAD BAD things will happen, and there are not locking rooms in my home so I can't distance myself from the situation. I also can't really tell anybody because in the past, when I've tried, people have listened to my parents instead of me and I was deemed the problematic one (my parent told them that I was just lying and that I was just a moody teen looking for an accuse) I'm not. me and my younger sister are physically, mentally, and emotionally abused.
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although helpful, what if your younger? I can't physically leave (I'm to young) and if I don't answer one of their questions, BAD BAD things will happen, and there are not locking rooms in my home so I can't distance myself from the situation. I also can't really tell anybody because in the past, when I've tried, people have listened to my parents instead of me and I was deemed the problematic one (my parent told them that I was just lying and that I was just a moody teen looking for an accuse) I'm not. me and my younger sister are physically, mentally, and emotionally abused.
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John
I know that dealing with toxic people is one thing no one wants to deal with but the one thing thats worse than dealing with toxic people in public is dealing toxic people in your family I know what this like because my family never wanted me and me feel worse with everything about my dad hates my mom criticizes me sister makes me feel worse about my achievements and my brother does anything to fight with me or make me feel bad and know all I do is work hard love myself and give myself motivation because its not like this situation is my permanent destination
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I know that dealing with toxic people is one thing no one wants to deal with but the one thing thats worse than dealing with toxic people in public is dealing toxic people in your family I know what this like because my family never wanted me and me feel worse with everything about my dad hates my mom criticizes me sister makes me feel worse about my achievements and my brother does anything to fight with me or make me feel bad and know all I do is work hard love myself and give myself motivation because its not like this situation is my permanent destination
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Dose
They are so freaking that if anyone dies due to anything at age without doing something the say they didn't do anything to there's parent son like them must go hell they just say do for your parent and many freaking thing give mentally pressure like we don't have enough money for this for that study hard studying is everything that's annoying why had I been born for them I wish it was for me myself I wanna enjoy my freaking life I don't need to wish but I wished I was never born or if born I wish in next life I wouldn't have this type of parents oh god.
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They are so freaking that if anyone dies due to anything at age without doing something the say they didn't do anything to there's parent son like them must go hell they just say do for your parent and many freaking thing give mentally pressure like we don't have enough money for this for that study hard studying is everything that's annoying why had I been born for them I wish it was for me myself I wanna enjoy my freaking life I don't need to wish but I wished I was never born or if born I wish in next life I wouldn't have this type of parents oh god.
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Primordial
My older sibling keeps making false accusations about me to every friend of mine he met, or like if he would see me talking to someone, he would be like Do you know. doesn't even wash his hand after taking a shit or yesterday at the mall, . was riding the grocery cart and fell down infront of everyone. When I didn't even go to the mall yesterday and I obviously did wash my hands. I literally can argue with him, and when I argued back like, how do you even know? He would say i literally saw your hands dry even tho he is gone at 8am to 6pm everyday.
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My older sibling keeps making false accusations about me to every friend of mine he met, or like if he would see me talking to someone, he would be like Do you know. doesn't even wash his hand after taking a shit or yesterday at the mall, . was riding the grocery cart and fell down infront of everyone. When I didn't even go to the mall yesterday and I obviously did wash my hands. I literally can argue with him, and when I argued back like, how do you even know? He would say i literally saw your hands dry even tho he is gone at 8am to 6pm everyday.
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Iram
Im 17 and stuck here I got no ones support since Im a middle child my parents dont pay attention to me they only care about my siblings Im constantly being compared to them and being degraded I was never taught anything like applying for a job or getting a permit I had to figure it all out myself and living with a selfish controlling sister that is constantly praised and constantly tells me I wont be anything I dont want to be here but I cant do anything about it Im 17 no job no income no diploma in a charter school I just want an out!
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Im 17 and stuck here I got no ones support since Im a middle child my parents dont pay attention to me they only care about my siblings Im constantly being compared to them and being degraded I was never taught anything like applying for a job or getting a permit I had to figure it all out myself and living with a selfish controlling sister that is constantly praised and constantly tells me I wont be anything I dont want to be here but I cant do anything about it Im 17 no job no income no diploma in a charter school I just want an out!
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star
I have been living with a abusive family for years. Tip number 3 ha sproven itself to be the most helpful to me. When the time comes, I can be a very argumentative person and when it comes to choosing your own battles, that is something that I have struggled with for years and with being on the front lines, its quite challenging. So for me to hear some more information about that I think will help me immennsly because as admiral ackbar put it its a trap if you are not careful and don't choose your battles wisely.
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I have been living with a abusive family for years. Tip number 3 ha sproven itself to be the most helpful to me. When the time comes, I can be a very argumentative person and when it comes to choosing your own battles, that is something that I have struggled with for years and with being on the front lines, its quite challenging. So for me to hear some more information about that I think will help me immennsly because as admiral ackbar put it its a trap if you are not careful and don't choose your battles wisely.
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John
I set very clear boundaries with my grandmother 2-3 times every week. Stay out of the space I rent out unless you get my consent or give me the legally required 24 hours notice. End of story. Literally just respect the rights I pay for. not that I should be paying rent when I'm here to make sure nothing happens to her. It's hard to escape this situation. She also destroyed one of my computers worth $1000+ and claimed it was my fault that she went out of her way to put a wet blanket on it.
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I set very clear boundaries with my grandmother 2-3 times every week. Stay out of the space I rent out unless you get my consent or give me the legally required 24 hours notice. End of story. Literally just respect the rights I pay for. not that I should be paying rent when I'm here to make sure nothing happens to her. It's hard to escape this situation. She also destroyed one of my computers worth $1000+ and claimed it was my fault that she went out of her way to put a wet blanket on it.
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The
After I was diagnosed with autism my mother asked what was wrong with me. I was only just starting to feel safe enough to stim because I thought she understood why I am the way I am. My father offered to drown me when I told him I was suicidal as a child. I told him because I thought he would get me help. Im finally beginning to understand how awful they were to me, and Im about to get out. And now, theyre acting nice. I think Id rather they be cruel. At least then I know what to expect
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After I was diagnosed with autism my mother asked what was wrong with me. I was only just starting to feel safe enough to stim because I thought she understood why I am the way I am. My father offered to drown me when I told him I was suicidal as a child. I told him because I thought he would get me help. Im finally beginning to understand how awful they were to me, and Im about to get out. And now, theyre acting nice. I think Id rather they be cruel. At least then I know what to expect
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zeny
I'm grateful to have a younger sister who accompanies my journey in life in this toxic and poor family, but I also feel sorry for her. Because at first I thought our life is like that because we are poor, but it's not. Even after I made enough money, it was still tough. Thank you sister for being born.
Sorry for not being able to help much, sorry for still not being able to change our family. Hopefully someday you will meet someone who can build a family that supports each other.
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I'm grateful to have a younger sister who accompanies my journey in life in this toxic and poor family, but I also feel sorry for her. Because at first I thought our life is like that because we are poor, but it's not. Even after I made enough money, it was still tough. Thank you sister for being born.
Sorry for not being able to help much, sorry for still not being able to change our family. Hopefully someday you will meet someone who can build a family that supports each other.
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Emily
Time after time my family proves to disappoint me with the zero effort they put in for my kids and me. They shame me constantly for wanting to live my life and gaslight me for expressing how hurt they make me feel. But, out of all of this I try to think about the positive. They have given me a horrible family experience and taught me what NOT to do as a parent. My goal is to raise my kids so that they dont feel they way I did with my own family.
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Time after time my family proves to disappoint me with the zero effort they put in for my kids and me. They shame me constantly for wanting to live my life and gaslight me for expressing how hurt they make me feel. But, out of all of this I try to think about the positive. They have given me a horrible family experience and taught me what NOT to do as a parent. My goal is to raise my kids so that they dont feel they way I did with my own family.
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Stupefy
My dad has always been there for me! My mom on the other hand is very toxic. She yells and verbally abuses me daily. She has beat me several times when I was younger. Now that I'm older, all she does is yell at me. I feel like she hates me and all I want to do is get away from her. My best friends mom is my mother figure, she guides me and helps me when I feel broken. I love my best friends family more than my own. Is that strange?
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My dad has always been there for me! My mom on the other hand is very toxic. She yells and verbally abuses me daily. She has beat me several times when I was younger. Now that I'm older, all she does is yell at me. I feel like she hates me and all I want to do is get away from her. My best friends mom is my mother figure, she guides me and helps me when I feel broken. I love my best friends family more than my own. Is that strange?
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Mariam
I'm so happy to see everyone commenting differently things. Today, I blocked all my family, mother, senior brother, and younger brother. After I did that, I thought the whole world was against me. I feel like dying or running away, but thank God my husband is beside me and telling me everything will be alright. That I'm not alone, he will always be there for me. I know it's hard, but it will be worth it. Thank you for this video
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I'm so happy to see everyone commenting differently things. Today, I blocked all my family, mother, senior brother, and younger brother. After I did that, I thought the whole world was against me. I feel like dying or running away, but thank God my husband is beside me and telling me everything will be alright. That I'm not alone, he will always be there for me. I know it's hard, but it will be worth it. Thank you for this video
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Patricia
My brother is very toxic and controlling, weve not spoke for about 2 years until the traumatic moment when my dad passed away few months ago, but I can see hes trying to get his control back of my life, basically trying to tell me what I should and shouldnt do with my life. Its so upsetting that your family members dont care about you, but we dont deserve that type of treatment We all deserve love, happiness and respect!
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My brother is very toxic and controlling, weve not spoke for about 2 years until the traumatic moment when my dad passed away few months ago, but I can see hes trying to get his control back of my life, basically trying to tell me what I should and shouldnt do with my life. Its so upsetting that your family members dont care about you, but we dont deserve that type of treatment We all deserve love, happiness and respect!
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Ashly
The fact that 143 k people are having bad family surrounding is a fact and this much people are hurting is also a fact its a situation where we can't proceed for our dreams where you're done trying to make them happy but you still want them to be happy, you hate that you love them so much, everytime you see a happy loving family you're breaking inside and rn now you're dead a bit inside FACTS!
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The fact that 143 k people are having bad family surrounding is a fact and this much people are hurting is also a fact its a situation where we can't proceed for our dreams where you're done trying to make them happy but you still want them to be happy, you hate that you love them so much, everytime you see a happy loving family you're breaking inside and rn now you're dead a bit inside FACTS!
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Jayden
I wanna ask something. I'm not sure anyone's gonna see my comment or reply to my comment, but it's still worth asking. Can these toxic family members do toxic things to me without acknowledging the fact that they're doing it? If anyone knows, please let me know if this is possible. I'm asking this because I'm thinking my mom's kinda gaslighting me.
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I wanna ask something. I'm not sure anyone's gonna see my comment or reply to my comment, but it's still worth asking. Can these toxic family members do toxic things to me without acknowledging the fact that they're doing it? If anyone knows, please let me know if this is possible. I'm asking this because I'm thinking my mom's kinda gaslighting me.
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hi
i hope this time next year im far far away from all my family members and im happy and in a better place where they cant hurt me or get to me anymore. i hope its the same for everyone in this comment section we all deserve the best kind of love there is, not some half assed malicious textbook type of love that our family gives us.
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i hope this time next year im far far away from all my family members and im happy and in a better place where they cant hurt me or get to me anymore. i hope its the same for everyone in this comment section we all deserve the best kind of love there is, not some half assed malicious textbook type of love that our family gives us.
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Sara
i went no contact but they keep stalking unto my house, theyve cut me off from my friends my whole life and now i only have them but they have done way to much inapropriate stuff i had to endure way to long into my late twenties. I dont know how deal with them anymore, and am in alot of pain
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i went no contact but they keep stalking unto my house, theyve cut me off from my friends my whole life and now i only have them but they have done way to much inapropriate stuff i had to endure way to long into my late twenties. I dont know how deal with them anymore, and am in alot of pain
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