5 Signs You Have Fear of Abandonment or Separation Anxiety
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Paulina
I've had diagnosed severe separation anxiety for most of my life. School was terrible for me. I felt so unsafe without my parents, so vulnerable, so anxious and depressed, and I didn't know why since I was in Kinder when it basically started. I missed them more every second that passed. I'm not even completely sure of how it even developed, so that's a really big part that I'm missing to try to fix that. I'm missing the root of the problem. I cried everyday at school, and all my teachers tried everything they could. I could tell they even got a bit tired of it. (I don't blame them) I was basically known as the crying girl. I remember one of them gave me a journal to write out my feelings during class, then I would give it to them to let them read it and write their comments on the side. It was our way of communicating. That still didn't work. My parents didn't understand what was going on with me. How could they? I didn't even know. They would get frustrated at times too. It came to the point where I stopped eating and lost a ton of weight. I stopped doing the things I loved. I stopped smiling, laughing, going out, and talking. I completely forgot what it felt like to be happy. All I wanted to do was sleep. Not be conscious. My body was always super tense, my neck filled with knots that were painful and my mom would try to massage them. I was empty. I was numb. My mom eventually found a therapist for me, and to this day, I still see one. A different one, of course. After elementary, I started homeschool, and learned that way for the rest of my school life. Yeah, my anxiety has improved, but I still struggle a lot. I still can't travel without them. Not even for two days. I can't handle sleepovers, since I'll feel unsafe. Heck, sometimes I still face a bit of anxiety even when it comes to going out with my friends for most of the day. (I always end up having a great time tho, and now I'm aware that it's all in my head) So yeah, I'm still struggling with it.
Sorry ik that was like super long lol, but I guess I just wanted to share my story. Maybe it could help someone else see that they really aren't alone. Never stop fighting! I know at times life may seem really really hopeless, but just remember that everything that causes you emotional pain is temporary!
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I've had diagnosed severe separation anxiety for most of my life. School was terrible for me. I felt so unsafe without my parents, so vulnerable, so anxious and depressed, and I didn't know why since I was in Kinder when it basically started. I missed them more every second that passed. I'm not even completely sure of how it even developed, so that's a really big part that I'm missing to try to fix that. I'm missing the root of the problem. I cried everyday at school, and all my teachers tried everything they could. I could tell they even got a bit tired of it. (I don't blame them) I was basically known as the crying girl. I remember one of them gave me a journal to write out my feelings during class, then I would give it to them to let them read it and write their comments on the side. It was our way of communicating. That still didn't work. My parents didn't understand what was going on with me. How could they? I didn't even know. They would get frustrated at times too. It came to the point where I stopped eating and lost a ton of weight. I stopped doing the things I loved. I stopped smiling, laughing, going out, and talking. I completely forgot what it felt like to be happy. All I wanted to do was sleep. Not be conscious. My body was always super tense, my neck filled with knots that were painful and my mom would try to massage them. I was empty. I was numb. My mom eventually found a therapist for me, and to this day, I still see one. A different one, of course. After elementary, I started homeschool, and learned that way for the rest of my school life. Yeah, my anxiety has improved, but I still struggle a lot. I still can't travel without them. Not even for two days. I can't handle sleepovers, since I'll feel unsafe. Heck, sometimes I still face a bit of anxiety even when it comes to going out with my friends for most of the day. (I always end up having a great time tho, and now I'm aware that it's all in my head) So yeah, I'm still struggling with it.
Sorry ik that was like super long lol, but I guess I just wanted to share my story. Maybe it could help someone else see that they really aren't alone. Never stop fighting! I know at times life may seem really really hopeless, but just remember that everything that causes you emotional pain is temporary!
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Ebin
I've always suffered from separation anxiety, and it has been one of the worst stresses I ever feel, sometimes too often for my own good. I would get pains in my chest when I started missing my room, or missing my family and girlfriend especially that I end up ironically holing myself alone once again, only feeding into a nasty cycle of isolation. My girlfriend as of right now lives far away from me, so we sometimes would go on vacation to see each other. Every single time I had ti leave, I would bawl my eyes out once I was alone, not even 5 minutes later, wanting to rub back ti her arms. Even when I was in high school, I vividly remember crying in my classes where I would work alone because I just missed my mom and dad that much. Of course, it doesn't stop there, I also am an extremely vivid dreamer, yet I'm constantly having nightmares of loss or separation. It's the scariest thing in the world for me.
Despite this, I still want to go out into the world on my own, and be able to live my life. Everything has been hard got me, I love my family too much to leave, but I HAVE to leave home so I can start my life, and fulfill my dreams. My girlfriend has been an amazing support system for helping me deal with separation anxiety and homesickness. Without her, I doubt I'd get away as unscathed as I am now.
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I've always suffered from separation anxiety, and it has been one of the worst stresses I ever feel, sometimes too often for my own good. I would get pains in my chest when I started missing my room, or missing my family and girlfriend especially that I end up ironically holing myself alone once again, only feeding into a nasty cycle of isolation. My girlfriend as of right now lives far away from me, so we sometimes would go on vacation to see each other. Every single time I had ti leave, I would bawl my eyes out once I was alone, not even 5 minutes later, wanting to rub back ti her arms. Even when I was in high school, I vividly remember crying in my classes where I would work alone because I just missed my mom and dad that much. Of course, it doesn't stop there, I also am an extremely vivid dreamer, yet I'm constantly having nightmares of loss or separation. It's the scariest thing in the world for me.
Despite this, I still want to go out into the world on my own, and be able to live my life. Everything has been hard got me, I love my family too much to leave, but I HAVE to leave home so I can start my life, and fulfill my dreams. My girlfriend has been an amazing support system for helping me deal with separation anxiety and homesickness. Without her, I doubt I'd get away as unscathed as I am now.
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klee
I really related to the first one. I imagine senarios when my friend would stop being friends with me because it happened to me so many times before. Im scared of being alone because im scared of what people will think about me. What if they think im a nerd, or im weird, or i have no friends and then i just spiral down the hole of overthinking everything. I dont speak up for myself because im scared if i do then they will cut me off and i wont have anyone. When i was having a arguement with one of my friends, i was very like idk the word. I was crying and drawing words on myself like i hope. is not mad at me i was stressed out, i would just lay in my bed and do nothing, my room got VERY messy i just went down this deep pit. i depend on my friends for my happiness. If they are not around i feel empty and lonely. And for the second one, when my mom leaves for trips i worry a LOT or even when she leaves the house. Im constantly calling her, asking her where shes at what shes doing. i get HORRIBLE stomach aches whenever my mom leaves or when im having an arguemnt with my friends. im not sure if its seperation anxiety, or if its just overthinking. help me out?
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I really related to the first one. I imagine senarios when my friend would stop being friends with me because it happened to me so many times before. Im scared of being alone because im scared of what people will think about me. What if they think im a nerd, or im weird, or i have no friends and then i just spiral down the hole of overthinking everything. I dont speak up for myself because im scared if i do then they will cut me off and i wont have anyone. When i was having a arguement with one of my friends, i was very like idk the word. I was crying and drawing words on myself like i hope. is not mad at me i was stressed out, i would just lay in my bed and do nothing, my room got VERY messy i just went down this deep pit. i depend on my friends for my happiness. If they are not around i feel empty and lonely. And for the second one, when my mom leaves for trips i worry a LOT or even when she leaves the house. Im constantly calling her, asking her where shes at what shes doing. i get HORRIBLE stomach aches whenever my mom leaves or when im having an arguemnt with my friends. im not sure if its seperation anxiety, or if its just overthinking. help me out?
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iiANTIXSOCIAL
I have Separation Anxiety and relate to pretty much all of these signs, but I don't know what caused it in the first place. I haven't been abandoned or lost someone as far as I know. I guess it stems from me being born pre-mature. My parents were always with me and catered to me in my life, so much so being even a few minutes to hours without them strikes my anxiety. I'm starting to have Separation Anxiety with my long distance/online boyfriend. I always get anxious when he doesn't answer me or even talks to me 24/7 and I worry something happened to him. (I also worry something will happen to my parents if I'm not with them as well) I've had bad thoughts and nightmares at times of everyone I love suddenly dying right away and me being alone, unable to live life properly. I have Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, and GAD as well, which makes things worse. I turned 18 just a few days ago and I can't handle the thought of my parents dying eventually, even though it's inevitable.
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I have Separation Anxiety and relate to pretty much all of these signs, but I don't know what caused it in the first place. I haven't been abandoned or lost someone as far as I know. I guess it stems from me being born pre-mature. My parents were always with me and catered to me in my life, so much so being even a few minutes to hours without them strikes my anxiety. I'm starting to have Separation Anxiety with my long distance/online boyfriend. I always get anxious when he doesn't answer me or even talks to me 24/7 and I worry something happened to him. (I also worry something will happen to my parents if I'm not with them as well) I've had bad thoughts and nightmares at times of everyone I love suddenly dying right away and me being alone, unable to live life properly. I have Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, and GAD as well, which makes things worse. I turned 18 just a few days ago and I can't handle the thought of my parents dying eventually, even though it's inevitable.
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Harmony
I'm pretty sure I have separation anxiety. Whenever I'm somewhere where I would usually see my friends but after a few minutes of being there and I didn't see either of them, that's when I start to get slightly more panicky and decide to look around for them. If I don't find them, I ask a few people I know but don't really hang out with that often if they've seen them or know where they are. If I get a They're not here today I reply with an Oh, ok and hang out with the person I asked while trying not to be awkward, or I sit in a corner where not many people can see me, turn on some music, and silently cry because I don't really have anyone else to hang out with. And I've also had a dream before where one of my friends wasn't really hanging out with me anymore and was being mean to me even though she is a really nice person. This is why I sometimes still carry around stuffed animals
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I'm pretty sure I have separation anxiety. Whenever I'm somewhere where I would usually see my friends but after a few minutes of being there and I didn't see either of them, that's when I start to get slightly more panicky and decide to look around for them. If I don't find them, I ask a few people I know but don't really hang out with that often if they've seen them or know where they are. If I get a They're not here today I reply with an Oh, ok and hang out with the person I asked while trying not to be awkward, or I sit in a corner where not many people can see me, turn on some music, and silently cry because I don't really have anyone else to hang out with. And I've also had a dream before where one of my friends wasn't really hanging out with me anymore and was being mean to me even though she is a really nice person. This is why I sometimes still carry around stuffed animals
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Gene
Thank You all at Psych2go. Separation anxiety coupled with the often time's laundry list of other distortion's can often hide the anxiety. I try not to be hesitant on this point, in as much the personal experience in my life could be described as insult of obliteration because of earlier injuries and diminishment's from neglect and lack of other amenities that promote a solid psychological background. The relevance as what promote's reaction's contrary to only being separated. We collectively misrepresent our own inclusion's toward our own complicity in and with our emotion's. The term complicity give's a rather ominous twist to this because we tent to include positive emotion's, with the negative, to include our own positive emotion's toward those in our regard are loved one's. With no compensation of positive feedback we tent to feel at a loss for even our own positive emotion. s.
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Thank You all at Psych2go. Separation anxiety coupled with the often time's laundry list of other distortion's can often hide the anxiety. I try not to be hesitant on this point, in as much the personal experience in my life could be described as insult of obliteration because of earlier injuries and diminishment's from neglect and lack of other amenities that promote a solid psychological background. The relevance as what promote's reaction's contrary to only being separated. We collectively misrepresent our own inclusion's toward our own complicity in and with our emotion's. The term complicity give's a rather ominous twist to this because we tent to include positive emotion's, with the negative, to include our own positive emotion's toward those in our regard are loved one's. With no compensation of positive feedback we tent to feel at a loss for even our own positive emotion. s.
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Thunder
Im not sure that i have this, but I was very very upset when my boyfriend was in the hospital after his car accident. I didnt want to be at work or at my parents house. Just wanted to be by his side and only felt better when I visited him. Heck. The day of the accident, he hadnt messaged me for several hours which was abnormal for him. He even called work and begged my front end manager (hes out in fuel) to tell me that he was ok. I told him that I honestly thought hed ghosted me and found someone better. He told me hes not that type of person. I firmly believe its because were soulmates that we felt this way. He didnt bother to call his ex or his buddy. He wanted to get a hold of me. Told me a lot about him. We also understand that we both have our own lives, doesnt mean we dont want the other one back home already when the other is working
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Im not sure that i have this, but I was very very upset when my boyfriend was in the hospital after his car accident. I didnt want to be at work or at my parents house. Just wanted to be by his side and only felt better when I visited him. Heck. The day of the accident, he hadnt messaged me for several hours which was abnormal for him. He even called work and begged my front end manager (hes out in fuel) to tell me that he was ok. I told him that I honestly thought hed ghosted me and found someone better. He told me hes not that type of person. I firmly believe its because were soulmates that we felt this way. He didnt bother to call his ex or his buddy. He wanted to get a hold of me. Told me a lot about him. We also understand that we both have our own lives, doesnt mean we dont want the other one back home already when the other is working
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Levi
I am the biggest fool the world has ever known. I pursue happiness, and yet I achieve nothing. I used to be fun loving, and almost nothing could stop me from being happy. Now, almost nothing can stop me from being sad. My grandparents told me how I was so attractive and handsome, only until I got into middle school did so realize they were dead wrong. I am hideous, I am awful. I am the embodiment and cause of my demise that is irreversible. I havent the slightest idea of what couldve changed me, and Ill most likely never know. I still tell myself: why cant you just be strong and handsome like your grandfather? Because he was everything I am not. He was athletic and full of life. I am weak and dead inside.
Not even my mother could love this face.
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I am the biggest fool the world has ever known. I pursue happiness, and yet I achieve nothing. I used to be fun loving, and almost nothing could stop me from being happy. Now, almost nothing can stop me from being sad. My grandparents told me how I was so attractive and handsome, only until I got into middle school did so realize they were dead wrong. I am hideous, I am awful. I am the embodiment and cause of my demise that is irreversible. I havent the slightest idea of what couldve changed me, and Ill most likely never know. I still tell myself: why cant you just be strong and handsome like your grandfather? Because he was everything I am not. He was athletic and full of life. I am weak and dead inside.
Not even my mother could love this face.
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VeganEmpress
I have separation anxiety, and it didn't happen until I moved states at 16 years old. I would cry and panic whenever my mom left the house, I'd beg her not to go, and even chase her car down the drive way as she left. I felt unloved and alone, she took me from my friends when we moved states and now she was leaving to go hang out with her friend, and abandoning me. I am almost 29 now, and it's not so bad now with her, but I do worry when she is not back home and it's night and she didn't tell me she had to go out, or when she would be back. When my boyfriend threatens to leave me I break down and cry and panic, even though I also wish he would leave because he is so mean to me. It's a horrible feeling.
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I have separation anxiety, and it didn't happen until I moved states at 16 years old. I would cry and panic whenever my mom left the house, I'd beg her not to go, and even chase her car down the drive way as she left. I felt unloved and alone, she took me from my friends when we moved states and now she was leaving to go hang out with her friend, and abandoning me. I am almost 29 now, and it's not so bad now with her, but I do worry when she is not back home and it's night and she didn't tell me she had to go out, or when she would be back. When my boyfriend threatens to leave me I break down and cry and panic, even though I also wish he would leave because he is so mean to me. It's a horrible feeling.
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KimDogeza
i dont fear being alone when i'm at home (sometimes, I get enough sleep, I enjoy being home alone, in fact i enjoy loneliness when i'm at home even without communicating with someone real life or online, but when i'm somewhere else or at another place other than my home, i find someone that im close enough with to cling to through the whole trip, I try to not get separated from them so i wont be afraid to mess up or get lost or end up not knowing what to do, i fear being alone when i'm at another place other than my house. does it count as separation anxiety or something else?
dont mind my grammar haha, English isn't my first language.
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i dont fear being alone when i'm at home (sometimes, I get enough sleep, I enjoy being home alone, in fact i enjoy loneliness when i'm at home even without communicating with someone real life or online, but when i'm somewhere else or at another place other than my home, i find someone that im close enough with to cling to through the whole trip, I try to not get separated from them so i wont be afraid to mess up or get lost or end up not knowing what to do, i fear being alone when i'm at another place other than my house. does it count as separation anxiety or something else?
dont mind my grammar haha, English isn't my first language.
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education
I never knew what was wrong with me. Now I know though but sadly it's gotten worse. More nightmares, a very messy room and having 0 motivation, more feeling dizzy and nauseous, all bcz my boyfriend said he needed some space for himself. He said it can be too oppressive if I call him at night, but I just can't live without him. I am often home alone and he is the only one I can tell things to. I don't know what to do or how to behave. I do so much for him but maybe it's really to much for him to take, idk what i did wrong. I'm scared he'll leave me (Since he told me, I cried every day. Can someone help me?
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I never knew what was wrong with me. Now I know though but sadly it's gotten worse. More nightmares, a very messy room and having 0 motivation, more feeling dizzy and nauseous, all bcz my boyfriend said he needed some space for himself. He said it can be too oppressive if I call him at night, but I just can't live without him. I am often home alone and he is the only one I can tell things to. I don't know what to do or how to behave. I do so much for him but maybe it's really to much for him to take, idk what i did wrong. I'm scared he'll leave me (Since he told me, I cried every day. Can someone help me?
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S0aRDraw1ng_Pleb
I do infact suffer by both. It is the reason I can't live a life with friends or others without acting different, I'm more sweet and 'happy' around them, I never try to make anyone close to me mad. It hurts to do it only because everytime I ever had accidentally infuriated someone they barraged me with insults then left me forever. I can't even talk normally without acting extra sweet, and I lose every argument, even if it's small, on purpose. I wish I could have second chances, I wish I didn't loose everyone around me.
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I do infact suffer by both. It is the reason I can't live a life with friends or others without acting different, I'm more sweet and 'happy' around them, I never try to make anyone close to me mad. It hurts to do it only because everytime I ever had accidentally infuriated someone they barraged me with insults then left me forever. I can't even talk normally without acting extra sweet, and I lose every argument, even if it's small, on purpose. I wish I could have second chances, I wish I didn't loose everyone around me.
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Bro.
I thought I was just needy- my parents are divorced though and my best friend moved away without me expecting it so this may be right- whenever my friends or family dont respond to my texts I start to think something bad happened to them and get worried, and when Im by myself I feel sad most the time and just have to distract myself. When I am by myself, I'm always texting my friends or on the phone with someone. Thank you very much for this, I'll have to look more into it
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I thought I was just needy- my parents are divorced though and my best friend moved away without me expecting it so this may be right- whenever my friends or family dont respond to my texts I start to think something bad happened to them and get worried, and when Im by myself I feel sad most the time and just have to distract myself. When I am by myself, I'm always texting my friends or on the phone with someone. Thank you very much for this, I'll have to look more into it
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Leah
Im a teenager, and many people have said I prob have separation anxiety and now I can confirm that yes. I do, my parents divorced almost 10 years ago and after that my mom would be gone most days I think thats what triggered my anxiety, but its weird cuz I only have separation anxiety towards my mom, and sometimes at night I just randomly start crying because I miss her even though she is in the room next to me
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Im a teenager, and many people have said I prob have separation anxiety and now I can confirm that yes. I do, my parents divorced almost 10 years ago and after that my mom would be gone most days I think thats what triggered my anxiety, but its weird cuz I only have separation anxiety towards my mom, and sometimes at night I just randomly start crying because I miss her even though she is in the room next to me
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Joseph
Wow this sounds all too much like me. I get so easily worried about pushing friends away, or what to do when I'm by myself. I just try to keep in mind that a true friend sees the big picture and chooses to stay with you because they love and care about you for who you really are, and on the other note, that we all are confused about life to some degree and have every right to be. It helps lighten the burden.
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Wow this sounds all too much like me. I get so easily worried about pushing friends away, or what to do when I'm by myself. I just try to keep in mind that a true friend sees the big picture and chooses to stay with you because they love and care about you for who you really are, and on the other note, that we all are confused about life to some degree and have every right to be. It helps lighten the burden.
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Lpsflowerlover
I am pretty sure I have separation anxiety
Im worried my friends are gonna ditch me
Or that someone I love
Is gonna quit loving me
This mostly started
Because in elementary school
People used to bully me and ditch me
And I once found out a lot of people think Im annoying
Im in high school now
But the same thing still happens I still have separation anxiety
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I am pretty sure I have separation anxiety
Im worried my friends are gonna ditch me
Or that someone I love
Is gonna quit loving me
This mostly started
Because in elementary school
People used to bully me and ditch me
And I once found out a lot of people think Im annoying
Im in high school now
But the same thing still happens I still have separation anxiety
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Cold
I can relate to having nightmares related to separation (they last so long and are so real TT) being scared of not knowing what happens when i sleep (i only experienced this problem when i was small)
Tho i don't think i have separation anxiety sometimes nightmares still occur but its soooo much lesser than when i was small.
(i think i was small that is why)
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I can relate to having nightmares related to separation (they last so long and are so real TT) being scared of not knowing what happens when i sleep (i only experienced this problem when i was small)
Tho i don't think i have separation anxiety sometimes nightmares still occur but its soooo much lesser than when i was small.
(i think i was small that is why)
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Amy
Pretty sure some of these symptoms have affected me in my 20's. and every now and then, they still show up. I'm not sure if they'll go away completely considering the circumstances I was put under as a baby, being placed from an orphanage in China to being raised in a completely different country, but for the most part at least, I'd say I'm able to manage them.
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Pretty sure some of these symptoms have affected me in my 20's. and every now and then, they still show up. I'm not sure if they'll go away completely considering the circumstances I was put under as a baby, being placed from an orphanage in China to being raised in a completely different country, but for the most part at least, I'd say I'm able to manage them.
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Maggie
Id like to know If you can develop separation anxiety to your pets? I live alone and have no family, my entire family broke completely 2 years ago or even more but it always was a mess. Now I live with my dog and he is dying I Cry everyday cause I am scared to lose him and have no one in my life, he has become my whole family.
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Id like to know If you can develop separation anxiety to your pets? I live alone and have no family, my entire family broke completely 2 years ago or even more but it always was a mess. Now I live with my dog and he is dying I Cry everyday cause I am scared to lose him and have no one in my life, he has become my whole family.
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The
For rather understandable reasons, going through adoption often results in trauma, unhealthy attachment styles, and separation anxiety. I recall some 1980's statistic where adopted adults made up less than 2% of the US population, but over half the inpatient psychiatric population.
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For rather understandable reasons, going through adoption often results in trauma, unhealthy attachment styles, and separation anxiety. I recall some 1980's statistic where adopted adults made up less than 2% of the US population, but over half the inpatient psychiatric population.
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Xhykins
i've actually had this from start to finish. i'm already on thin ice with my close friends because of mistakes i made. my family don't seem to care for me as much as they say, i still get extremely paranoid after being alone and away from them after a long period of time
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i've actually had this from start to finish. i'm already on thin ice with my close friends because of mistakes i made. my family don't seem to care for me as much as they say, i still get extremely paranoid after being alone and away from them after a long period of time
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Richard
As you get older, like around your 21st birthday or so, it gets a lot harder to deal with other people's first-world problems. But you know they're all gonna be tormented in a bottomless pit of their own ubiquitous anguish. And that makes it okay.
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As you get older, like around your 21st birthday or so, it gets a lot harder to deal with other people's first-world problems. But you know they're all gonna be tormented in a bottomless pit of their own ubiquitous anguish. And that makes it okay.
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The
Your videos make me feel so much better every time! I just need to reflect my emotions, come to your videos and educate myself on my psyche. The last sentence made me cry so much because I needed to hear this so bad! Help is infact on the way.
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Your videos make me feel so much better every time! I just need to reflect my emotions, come to your videos and educate myself on my psyche. The last sentence made me cry so much because I needed to hear this so bad! Help is infact on the way.
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Aya
Can you guys do a video on PMDD? i feel like it would be very educational to those who suffer from it since it gets mistaken for other disorders and not a lot of people know or talk about it enough. thank you
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Can you guys do a video on PMDD? i feel like it would be very educational to those who suffer from it since it gets mistaken for other disorders and not a lot of people know or talk about it enough. thank you
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Riches
I think I have separation anxiety, when I'm around them I say what I feel but when I'm not I overthink when I talk to friends I make it awkward and I end up lonely I don't know if it's separation anxiety
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I think I have separation anxiety, when I'm around them I say what I feel but when I'm not I overthink when I talk to friends I make it awkward and I end up lonely I don't know if it's separation anxiety
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