How Your Lack of Self Love Affects Your Relationships
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Animelover
I am not sure when my lack of self love started. To me, my whole life feels like a complete failure. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing with myself because well I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I was bullied all throughout elementary and middle school, and it was only when people finally broke me down to the point where I just stopped expressing myself due to the constant hate I got from everyone. My mom (only parent) was always at work and we never bonded. I was always trying my hardest in school back when I was little just to please her. Till last year when I was called a failure by her. To this day our relationship is still rocky. All the friends I had left me and they were never there for me when I truly needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to. Behind my back they spread awful and false rumors about me and I never found put till it was too late.
Now, I'm about to graduate high school. I have no idea what I want to do. And truly from all of my experiences of any type of happiness I felt were taken away, I hate myself. It's gotten to a point where even though I want friends, I don't want to be a burden. Which people have told me I am before.
I've tried, journaling, doing the things I like to do, reading, talking to someone abt it, and nothing has worked. I'm still depressed, I still feel like absolute crap everyday. Sleep doesn't help.
I just. I just wish things were better for me. But ik they won't.
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I am not sure when my lack of self love started. To me, my whole life feels like a complete failure. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing with myself because well I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I was bullied all throughout elementary and middle school, and it was only when people finally broke me down to the point where I just stopped expressing myself due to the constant hate I got from everyone. My mom (only parent) was always at work and we never bonded. I was always trying my hardest in school back when I was little just to please her. Till last year when I was called a failure by her. To this day our relationship is still rocky. All the friends I had left me and they were never there for me when I truly needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to. Behind my back they spread awful and false rumors about me and I never found put till it was too late.
Now, I'm about to graduate high school. I have no idea what I want to do. And truly from all of my experiences of any type of happiness I felt were taken away, I hate myself. It's gotten to a point where even though I want friends, I don't want to be a burden. Which people have told me I am before.
I've tried, journaling, doing the things I like to do, reading, talking to someone abt it, and nothing has worked. I'm still depressed, I still feel like absolute crap everyday. Sleep doesn't help.
I just. I just wish things were better for me. But ik they won't.
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Ara
I need help with something!
So the advice of dont try to be something youre not is one that I struggle with, while on one hand I agree with it because I feel fake when Im not behaving my true self, and on the other I dont like to behave like myself because I dont have a great personality, Im very weird and dont have the same interests or think like most people and especially ones that I admire and want to be around. I notice that every time I go into a new environment I make a great first impression with people, but after a few weeks they slowly get that Im not a very interesting person so they lose interest, and it seems like they dont even want to acknowledge me, I know the issue is me because it happens every time.
So I dont have a problem with getting new people into my life, I have a problem with making them stay.
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I need help with something!
So the advice of dont try to be something youre not is one that I struggle with, while on one hand I agree with it because I feel fake when Im not behaving my true self, and on the other I dont like to behave like myself because I dont have a great personality, Im very weird and dont have the same interests or think like most people and especially ones that I admire and want to be around. I notice that every time I go into a new environment I make a great first impression with people, but after a few weeks they slowly get that Im not a very interesting person so they lose interest, and it seems like they dont even want to acknowledge me, I know the issue is me because it happens every time.
So I dont have a problem with getting new people into my life, I have a problem with making them stay.
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Bailey
i have a bit of a problem. I go to a school with dorms and me and my freind group which my crush is a part of went to a party with the school. We ended up sleeping against each other at the party and me and some of my friends where over at her house for the weekend and we started holding hands and we and i asked her to the gala and she said yes. but later when we went back to school we haven't hung out and really and only texted a bit and im not sure where we stand. Do you guys have any idea of what is going on. And i have a lot of signs of this video so i dont know if its just me being weird or if its because i don't have any backbone. My friends also teased her a bit about it because we were texting and she blushed a bit but im not sure. Sorry if my ask for advice doesn't really fit into the video
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i have a bit of a problem. I go to a school with dorms and me and my freind group which my crush is a part of went to a party with the school. We ended up sleeping against each other at the party and me and some of my friends where over at her house for the weekend and we started holding hands and we and i asked her to the gala and she said yes. but later when we went back to school we haven't hung out and really and only texted a bit and im not sure where we stand. Do you guys have any idea of what is going on. And i have a lot of signs of this video so i dont know if its just me being weird or if its because i don't have any backbone. My friends also teased her a bit about it because we were texting and she blushed a bit but im not sure. Sorry if my ask for advice doesn't really fit into the video
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no
Self love doesn't come naturally for me, i don't exactly know why. It may stem from being in a toxic friendship where i was always the problem, along with a fear of disappointing others. I'm not saying this to vent, but to help anyone dealing with this. Please, if you are always the issue when your gut tells you otherwise, have self reflected, and are only doing worse in the relationship, try to break away. I'm not the best advice giver but if you can find an escape, please try. Your future self will thank you. If this isn't helpful I'm open to constructive criticism, better advice for myself and others, and ways to improve self love after an experience like this. I only speak from personal experience, some people may have different experiences and better ways of handling it.
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Self love doesn't come naturally for me, i don't exactly know why. It may stem from being in a toxic friendship where i was always the problem, along with a fear of disappointing others. I'm not saying this to vent, but to help anyone dealing with this. Please, if you are always the issue when your gut tells you otherwise, have self reflected, and are only doing worse in the relationship, try to break away. I'm not the best advice giver but if you can find an escape, please try. Your future self will thank you. If this isn't helpful I'm open to constructive criticism, better advice for myself and others, and ways to improve self love after an experience like this. I only speak from personal experience, some people may have different experiences and better ways of handling it.
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StickminFabio
So uhhh. I feel like I can't talk a lot about this but is it normal that I feel like I do those things and don't feel that's important at all at the same time? Mostly because of school and procrastination I feel like I don't have free time in this period and if I want to talk about something like this with my closest friends. It just doesn't come out naturally and whenever someone asks me how are you doing? I don't have a response ready and just say idk. Please note that I love my friends and talking with them about anything doesn't come out naturally because I'm having a good time at least. But again, if I'm having a good time, why can't I talk with the people I trust with my heart about what makes me feel bad?
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So uhhh. I feel like I can't talk a lot about this but is it normal that I feel like I do those things and don't feel that's important at all at the same time? Mostly because of school and procrastination I feel like I don't have free time in this period and if I want to talk about something like this with my closest friends. It just doesn't come out naturally and whenever someone asks me how are you doing? I don't have a response ready and just say idk. Please note that I love my friends and talking with them about anything doesn't come out naturally because I'm having a good time at least. But again, if I'm having a good time, why can't I talk with the people I trust with my heart about what makes me feel bad?
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psych2go
I see these very often, especially number four. And the couples I see it with, one is open about it which is absolutely amazing but they do it so often until I wonder if the latter feels like they arent trusted enough which I know I would be hurt by.
It can cause a lot of problems too like guilt on both ends, Ive seen it.
Lack of self love does not only affect you but it affects the ones you love as well even when you dont mean to.
Dont be distant, reach out to professionals for help or at least find good habits if you cant. I wish the best for everyone with the struggles of lacking self love.
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I see these very often, especially number four. And the couples I see it with, one is open about it which is absolutely amazing but they do it so often until I wonder if the latter feels like they arent trusted enough which I know I would be hurt by.
It can cause a lot of problems too like guilt on both ends, Ive seen it.
Lack of self love does not only affect you but it affects the ones you love as well even when you dont mean to.
Dont be distant, reach out to professionals for help or at least find good habits if you cant. I wish the best for everyone with the struggles of lacking self love.
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JD
I have like. the complete opposite of all these things because I've spent my entire life surrounded by people who submitted to toxic or even abusive relationships due to lack of self worth. I'm usually overly cautious and don't expect anyone to be interested in me unless they have some sort of ulterior motive that doesn't align with my interests. The only constant worry that I have is that they'll try to physically abuse me or leave me if I reinforce my boundaries, and that usually ends up making me just automatically assume that any potential relationship I get into won't last very long.
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I have like. the complete opposite of all these things because I've spent my entire life surrounded by people who submitted to toxic or even abusive relationships due to lack of self worth. I'm usually overly cautious and don't expect anyone to be interested in me unless they have some sort of ulterior motive that doesn't align with my interests. The only constant worry that I have is that they'll try to physically abuse me or leave me if I reinforce my boundaries, and that usually ends up making me just automatically assume that any potential relationship I get into won't last very long.
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Maychi
This i think is one of the reasons i'm having a hard time adjusting to being in a relationship in the first place. My self love is judging myself and holding myself to a too high standard. which also shows that i hold my partner in that way even tho im trying not to. I also don't know how being in love should feel like anymore. i'm a changed person from once being burned by loving someone too much, to the obsessive kind, and none returned. So the fact i now have a partner that is healthy and loving, is so strange to me. I honestlty will try to find therapy to figure this out. :/
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This i think is one of the reasons i'm having a hard time adjusting to being in a relationship in the first place. My self love is judging myself and holding myself to a too high standard. which also shows that i hold my partner in that way even tho im trying not to. I also don't know how being in love should feel like anymore. i'm a changed person from once being burned by loving someone too much, to the obsessive kind, and none returned. So the fact i now have a partner that is healthy and loving, is so strange to me. I honestlty will try to find therapy to figure this out. :/
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Timinations900
As an ISFJ, I'm always loving myself. I don't judge as much as I used to years ago, and I've started to explore the outside world a bit more. But despite all that, I still feel lonely. I get that no one tends to hang out with me, and well, it's got me thinking the people I view may have different or negative reactions about me. It's ironic to think because I'm seen as this compassionate, outgoing and loving person, but my shyness takes control over me, and prevents me from making connections that can benefit me in having a girlfriend.
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As an ISFJ, I'm always loving myself. I don't judge as much as I used to years ago, and I've started to explore the outside world a bit more. But despite all that, I still feel lonely. I get that no one tends to hang out with me, and well, it's got me thinking the people I view may have different or negative reactions about me. It's ironic to think because I'm seen as this compassionate, outgoing and loving person, but my shyness takes control over me, and prevents me from making connections that can benefit me in having a girlfriend.
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Jayanthi
Hi psych2go
I have a request for you
Could you make a video regarding difference between psychiatrists and psychologists, like I always loved psychology, so I thought I could be a psychiatrist, buti relised that maybe psychiatry is more about pharmacotherapy which I am not interested in, I am more into psychotherapy, and other methods like TAT etc. You could also make a video on different careers in psychology, like forensic, organizational etc and details regarding what they do
I am sorry if I am asking for too much
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Hi psych2go
I have a request for you
Could you make a video regarding difference between psychiatrists and psychologists, like I always loved psychology, so I thought I could be a psychiatrist, buti relised that maybe psychiatry is more about pharmacotherapy which I am not interested in, I am more into psychotherapy, and other methods like TAT etc. You could also make a video on different careers in psychology, like forensic, organizational etc and details regarding what they do
I am sorry if I am asking for too much
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ShinkuOokami
The voices in my head won't allow me to love myself. Due to them being there in general, the way I look, and how I just screw up left and right, I don't just not love myself, but I hate myself. I hate the way I look, sound, think, overthink, etc. and wish I either never existed or was just someone else entirely that actually had a mind that didn't want to kill itself. Not that anyone actually cares anyway.
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The voices in my head won't allow me to love myself. Due to them being there in general, the way I look, and how I just screw up left and right, I don't just not love myself, but I hate myself. I hate the way I look, sound, think, overthink, etc. and wish I either never existed or was just someone else entirely that actually had a mind that didn't want to kill itself. Not that anyone actually cares anyway.
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kairal
she broke up with me a week ago, she's one of the most beautiful person ive ever met. she broke up and left me because i got way too pessimistic now and i struggle to change and im an overthinker. i still love her and I'm still trying to move on. im trying to gain back my past optimism. and focus on myself and maybe ill find someone. thanks for the video psych2go. been watching since 2 years ago
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she broke up with me a week ago, she's one of the most beautiful person ive ever met. she broke up and left me because i got way too pessimistic now and i struggle to change and im an overthinker. i still love her and I'm still trying to move on. im trying to gain back my past optimism. and focus on myself and maybe ill find someone. thanks for the video psych2go. been watching since 2 years ago
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Verena
I was bullied from my sister and in school since i can think and i still get so much hate. how should i love myself when everyone tells me I'm not worth. i thought my boyfriend would be my biggest fan and support me e. g compliments etc but even he shows me I'm not worth his time and effort
I hate myself so much i should just leave this planet so no one will be annoyed by my pure existence
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I was bullied from my sister and in school since i can think and i still get so much hate. how should i love myself when everyone tells me I'm not worth. i thought my boyfriend would be my biggest fan and support me e. g compliments etc but even he shows me I'm not worth his time and effort
I hate myself so much i should just leave this planet so no one will be annoyed by my pure existence
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o. o
This is one of the biggest reasons why Im not in a relationship right now. I talked to a guy for about a year but he tore my self confidence down. I also experienced some bullying in middle school (but I ended up being mean towards others later which I regret.
I just dont know how to love me. Ive tried writing things I like about myself in my notebook but its not working. What should I do?
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This is one of the biggest reasons why Im not in a relationship right now. I talked to a guy for about a year but he tore my self confidence down. I also experienced some bullying in middle school (but I ended up being mean towards others later which I regret.
I just dont know how to love me. Ive tried writing things I like about myself in my notebook but its not working. What should I do?
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Studio
Self-Love is something I still struggle with, even after having gone to therapy. I'm at the point where I at least tolerate my own existance and have worked on developing better coping mechanisms, but I'm still a LONG ways off from feeling comfortable pursuing a romantic relationship. (Doesn't help that there's some deeply entrenched toxicity in the dating culture where I live)
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Self-Love is something I still struggle with, even after having gone to therapy. I'm at the point where I at least tolerate my own existance and have worked on developing better coping mechanisms, but I'm still a LONG ways off from feeling comfortable pursuing a romantic relationship. (Doesn't help that there's some deeply entrenched toxicity in the dating culture where I live)
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Miss
Even if I try to love myself, theres always something or someone that will point out something bad that I have. Im not in a relationship with anyone, its worse than having a crush on someone who doesnt even notice it. Im afraid of being rejection and getting hurt believing that I dont deserve to have someone special. The only form of self love I do is skincare
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Even if I try to love myself, theres always something or someone that will point out something bad that I have. Im not in a relationship with anyone, its worse than having a crush on someone who doesnt even notice it. Im afraid of being rejection and getting hurt believing that I dont deserve to have someone special. The only form of self love I do is skincare
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Ethan
Disagree. Living to serve others is a much more fulfilling way to live. If you try and remove yourself from the picture completely, neither hating nor loving yourself, then you will find a little more freedom. You should only care for yourself just enough so that you can keep going with life and keep helping others.
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Disagree. Living to serve others is a much more fulfilling way to live. If you try and remove yourself from the picture completely, neither hating nor loving yourself, then you will find a little more freedom. You should only care for yourself just enough so that you can keep going with life and keep helping others.
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Ishita
Great video as always I have a request. Can you please make a video on How to take care of your parents.
My parents are getting older and their mental health is getting bad too. I want to help them but I don't know how to. It'll be a big help if you'll make a video about it. Thank you: )
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Great video as always I have a request. Can you please make a video on How to take care of your parents.
My parents are getting older and their mental health is getting bad too. I want to help them but I don't know how to. It'll be a big help if you'll make a video about it. Thank you: )
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DontDoItDan
This one hit me in the chest because I had 2 relationships I've been hating myself for because I didn't think I would get another chance in life. I'm only in my 20s. And the more I learn the more I realize I haven't gotten much of a chance to date in the first place.
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This one hit me in the chest because I had 2 relationships I've been hating myself for because I didn't think I would get another chance in life. I'm only in my 20s. And the more I learn the more I realize I haven't gotten much of a chance to date in the first place.
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Hanka
Hello psych2go. do you know anything about psychotests? i'd like to know how it looks like and what questions will be asked. i want to get to an art school in my town and there are these tests that i need to pass. i dont want to seem like a some psychopath or something
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Hello psych2go. do you know anything about psychotests? i'd like to know how it looks like and what questions will be asked. i want to get to an art school in my town and there are these tests that i need to pass. i dont want to seem like a some psychopath or something
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Jahn
My lack of self love manifested as clinginess. I didnt understand, that no external praise or achievement can fill in my hole. I had to lose a lot to understand, that I am worthy of my own love and respect. At last I feel truly happy and complete. I made it
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My lack of self love manifested as clinginess. I didnt understand, that no external praise or achievement can fill in my hole. I had to lose a lot to understand, that I am worthy of my own love and respect. At last I feel truly happy and complete. I made it
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AVENGER291
My mental health hasnt been the best, been diagnosed with several different conditions my main mentality has been Ill endure this no matter what Ive been starting to reach the point where I ask myself is this l my limit? Is this mindset normal?
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My mental health hasnt been the best, been diagnosed with several different conditions my main mentality has been Ill endure this no matter what Ive been starting to reach the point where I ask myself is this l my limit? Is this mindset normal?
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William
saying what I think is what's always got me into trouble in my workplace and society as a whole my whole life. various experts say to just be yourself and go after what you want. If I really did that I would have been sent to jail a long time ago.
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saying what I think is what's always got me into trouble in my workplace and society as a whole my whole life. various experts say to just be yourself and go after what you want. If I really did that I would have been sent to jail a long time ago.
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Canadian
I know what self love is but I donno if I'm giving it to myself, because I don't go I love myself I go I know what I am worth, so I will let myself be happy for myself and I dunno, I just been generally balanced overall, lmao
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I know what self love is but I donno if I'm giving it to myself, because I don't go I love myself I go I know what I am worth, so I will let myself be happy for myself and I dunno, I just been generally balanced overall, lmao
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Eric
100% me because I respect others space. I look at both sides of the coin on which is the best choice. Be honest and have the consequences hit or hide the reason hurting my wellbeing. It's worse when it comes to it being family.
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100% me because I respect others space. I look at both sides of the coin on which is the best choice. Be honest and have the consequences hit or hide the reason hurting my wellbeing. It's worse when it comes to it being family.
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