What We REALLY Need After Trauma And Abuse (How To Heal)
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Date: 2024-07-27
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Comments and reviews: 20
KidKit
For the longest time I didn't even consider what happened to me to be abuse (because I literally forgot it even happened) until I watched one of these videos a couple years ago. I think it was talking about physical abuse and how corporal punishment was physical abuse and it just jogged my memory of some really awful times that I forgot about. It honestly felt really good to hear it be called that because I hated it so much. My dad was the one who usually whipped me (with a belt) and he usually had two moods after. One was where he'd bend down to my level and say You know I love you right I'd never to anything to actually hurt you. Which pissed me off SO much I did NOT believe him as a kid. Or he'd tell me to Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about. Basically threatening to do it again. I still remember like hiding from him hoping he wouldn't find me and it was just so stressful like some murderer was in your house and you couldn't let them find you or something. I cried and wished so bad to have another family or that cps would take me away. My dad also used to give me birthday whippings too so every time my birthday came around he'd strike me as many times as my age. I did NOT wanna come out of my room the whole day unless he had to work that day. I genuinely wish the best for people that have gone through similar things. I hope you heal
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For the longest time I didn't even consider what happened to me to be abuse (because I literally forgot it even happened) until I watched one of these videos a couple years ago. I think it was talking about physical abuse and how corporal punishment was physical abuse and it just jogged my memory of some really awful times that I forgot about. It honestly felt really good to hear it be called that because I hated it so much. My dad was the one who usually whipped me (with a belt) and he usually had two moods after. One was where he'd bend down to my level and say You know I love you right I'd never to anything to actually hurt you. Which pissed me off SO much I did NOT believe him as a kid. Or he'd tell me to Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about. Basically threatening to do it again. I still remember like hiding from him hoping he wouldn't find me and it was just so stressful like some murderer was in your house and you couldn't let them find you or something. I cried and wished so bad to have another family or that cps would take me away. My dad also used to give me birthday whippings too so every time my birthday came around he'd strike me as many times as my age. I did NOT wanna come out of my room the whole day unless he had to work that day. I genuinely wish the best for people that have gone through similar things. I hope you heal
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siennaprice1351
For a long time, I’ve bottled up my emotions. Mainly crying. I have tried to veer away from crying, because if I did cry, I’d either get mocked, laughed at for being a sensitive baby, or be treated like I was an infant by my stepmom and dad. So now when I feel the urge to cry, it comes out in anger. Not raging tempers exactly, I just feel mad when I feel the urge to cry. I’ve also masked certain traits of my blindness. Like touching and exploring everything, because I was taught that sighted people don’t do this because it’s socially awkward for a person to be touching everything around them. I was also taught not to run into things, otherwise I’ll either be scolded or laughed at. I’m working on unmasking and being my true authentic self, and not shaming and being so damn hard on myself for being sensitive and emotional. Music is really helping me in so many ways. I also have a toolbox full of other coping skills that I really do my best to utilize every day, even when I’m happy. I’ve become a doer, I don’t use the word try. But the thing I really need to do is not be so damn hard and abusive to myself for feeling emotions and for touching everything or running into things. To love myself and be kind and nice to myself, not just when I’m happy and full of joy. But also when I’m dysregulated.
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For a long time, I’ve bottled up my emotions. Mainly crying. I have tried to veer away from crying, because if I did cry, I’d either get mocked, laughed at for being a sensitive baby, or be treated like I was an infant by my stepmom and dad. So now when I feel the urge to cry, it comes out in anger. Not raging tempers exactly, I just feel mad when I feel the urge to cry. I’ve also masked certain traits of my blindness. Like touching and exploring everything, because I was taught that sighted people don’t do this because it’s socially awkward for a person to be touching everything around them. I was also taught not to run into things, otherwise I’ll either be scolded or laughed at. I’m working on unmasking and being my true authentic self, and not shaming and being so damn hard on myself for being sensitive and emotional. Music is really helping me in so many ways. I also have a toolbox full of other coping skills that I really do my best to utilize every day, even when I’m happy. I’ve become a doer, I don’t use the word try. But the thing I really need to do is not be so damn hard and abusive to myself for feeling emotions and for touching everything or running into things. To love myself and be kind and nice to myself, not just when I’m happy and full of joy. But also when I’m dysregulated.
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entlenong5268
I don’t understand what to do anymore For the past six months I’ve been questioning whether I’ve been abused or have endured traumatic experiences without notice. Apparently my parents are abusive, specifically my mother I’ve always loved reading Horrid Henry books as well as the show when I was a kid because I always found comfort in the hilarious ways Henry would react to basic punishments or his parents treatment as I saw it as childish since his parents were just like mine and I had always thought it was normal. But to my knowledge it’s not I see many videos covering how abusive Henry’s parents are. It always confused me because my parents are just like them if not worse
Not only that but it’s to the point where all of my online friends are questioning why I haven’t called CPS based on the few experiences I’ve told them about. I don’t understand and I don’t know how to process all this new information. I’ve been watching many of your videos about trauma and abuse and everything stated was surprisingly accurate. Almost a little too realistic I don’t know how to accept that I’ve been SA’d and abused when just a few months ago I just chalked it up to a normal occurrence. How am I supposed to accept anything when I haven’t even fully acknowledged what I’ve gone through
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I don’t understand what to do anymore For the past six months I’ve been questioning whether I’ve been abused or have endured traumatic experiences without notice. Apparently my parents are abusive, specifically my mother I’ve always loved reading Horrid Henry books as well as the show when I was a kid because I always found comfort in the hilarious ways Henry would react to basic punishments or his parents treatment as I saw it as childish since his parents were just like mine and I had always thought it was normal. But to my knowledge it’s not I see many videos covering how abusive Henry’s parents are. It always confused me because my parents are just like them if not worse
Not only that but it’s to the point where all of my online friends are questioning why I haven’t called CPS based on the few experiences I’ve told them about. I don’t understand and I don’t know how to process all this new information. I’ve been watching many of your videos about trauma and abuse and everything stated was surprisingly accurate. Almost a little too realistic I don’t know how to accept that I’ve been SA’d and abused when just a few months ago I just chalked it up to a normal occurrence. How am I supposed to accept anything when I haven’t even fully acknowledged what I’ve gone through
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aubreysnyder338
Do what you can while you can. Because at some point there will not be time.
There are free services. there are low income services, people just blowing off therapy as expensive as Lazy.
At 26 years old I had brain tumors followed by three brain surgeries that failed. I was then diagnosed with the top two most painful chronic pain conditions known to the human race. #CRPS #atypicaltrigeminalneuralgia
Both are extremely painful, no cure, very little treatments. It is the equivalent of amputation of a finger without anesthesia every day for the last 5 years. Unfortunately my health issues are progressing. Regular therapist don't understand the debilitating aspect of the severity of the chronic pain I deal with. Unfortunately chronic pain therapists are very far and few between and if you're lucky enough to get into one they schedule 9 months out.
I'm now 31 years old, and in many ways my life ended 5 years ago.
DO WHAT YOU CAN WHILE YOU CAN BECAUSE YOU WON'T ALWAYS HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO.
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Do what you can while you can. Because at some point there will not be time.
There are free services. there are low income services, people just blowing off therapy as expensive as Lazy.
At 26 years old I had brain tumors followed by three brain surgeries that failed. I was then diagnosed with the top two most painful chronic pain conditions known to the human race. #CRPS #atypicaltrigeminalneuralgia
Both are extremely painful, no cure, very little treatments. It is the equivalent of amputation of a finger without anesthesia every day for the last 5 years. Unfortunately my health issues are progressing. Regular therapist don't understand the debilitating aspect of the severity of the chronic pain I deal with. Unfortunately chronic pain therapists are very far and few between and if you're lucky enough to get into one they schedule 9 months out.
I'm now 31 years old, and in many ways my life ended 5 years ago.
DO WHAT YOU CAN WHILE YOU CAN BECAUSE YOU WON'T ALWAYS HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO.
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user-gj8tx3hb4q
I was unfortunately physically and emotionally abused by my closest friend who connected me ending it all to each of our conversations despite me telling her I was suicidal. This all ended once she took it too far. She dug her nails into the front of my neck during our lunch. The school didn't do much about it other then informing her parents. It was truly horrible because afterwards she ignored me (something that completely destroyed me mentally)
It got so bad that once I ended up being called to the office and having my sissors taken away for being spotted with scratches on my arm. That fake friend ignores what Hell she put me though, claiming she 'moved on' and saying how rude I was. Basically she screen me up mentally and continues to do so by bullying me. I have a fear of telling others though since I already tried. It normally ended with my feelings getting dismissed and such.
I went through three theripasts already but I plan to ask for another.
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I was unfortunately physically and emotionally abused by my closest friend who connected me ending it all to each of our conversations despite me telling her I was suicidal. This all ended once she took it too far. She dug her nails into the front of my neck during our lunch. The school didn't do much about it other then informing her parents. It was truly horrible because afterwards she ignored me (something that completely destroyed me mentally)
It got so bad that once I ended up being called to the office and having my sissors taken away for being spotted with scratches on my arm. That fake friend ignores what Hell she put me though, claiming she 'moved on' and saying how rude I was. Basically she screen me up mentally and continues to do so by bullying me. I have a fear of telling others though since I already tried. It normally ended with my feelings getting dismissed and such.
I went through three theripasts already but I plan to ask for another.
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westlycoast3635
I don’t know if anyone’s even gonna see this but I’ve had some trauma and I think I’m ready to talk to a therapist or a professional but my mother doesn’t believe in that. She thinks it’s a bad look and doesn’t want to bother. My whole life I’ve kinda been afraid to ask her and now that I did she said no and even got mad, accusing me of claiming she didn’t protect me enough (which she didn’t but it kinda wasn’t her fault) and that she was enough, it wasn’t even a big deal (even after many attempts) and I can talk to her. Now I’m kinda scared to talk to people in general and even fear I won’t be able to open up to a therapist. Can I get some advice on how I can get help
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I don’t know if anyone’s even gonna see this but I’ve had some trauma and I think I’m ready to talk to a therapist or a professional but my mother doesn’t believe in that. She thinks it’s a bad look and doesn’t want to bother. My whole life I’ve kinda been afraid to ask her and now that I did she said no and even got mad, accusing me of claiming she didn’t protect me enough (which she didn’t but it kinda wasn’t her fault) and that she was enough, it wasn’t even a big deal (even after many attempts) and I can talk to her. Now I’m kinda scared to talk to people in general and even fear I won’t be able to open up to a therapist. Can I get some advice on how I can get help
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shonamoni569
My paternal cousins bullied me all the time and often left me out of the group. It hurt me to the core because all I ever wanted was to get some love and affection from them. I wanted to have somebody to talk to, to have some fun even if I don't have friends, to have a strong support system that always has your back. The anger that came with this bullying, I took it out on my classmates which made them hate me and as a result I never had any friends and I got abandonment issues as well. The bullying of my paternal cousins affected my education. I hated writing notes in class and never did my homework. This made both my teachers and my parents constantly angry on me. Well back to present I am a loner
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My paternal cousins bullied me all the time and often left me out of the group. It hurt me to the core because all I ever wanted was to get some love and affection from them. I wanted to have somebody to talk to, to have some fun even if I don't have friends, to have a strong support system that always has your back. The anger that came with this bullying, I took it out on my classmates which made them hate me and as a result I never had any friends and I got abandonment issues as well. The bullying of my paternal cousins affected my education. I hated writing notes in class and never did my homework. This made both my teachers and my parents constantly angry on me. Well back to present I am a loner
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theemoturtle7002
One thing that my therapist told me to do was to invest in expensive shower and bath care products. Of course I don't want to waste the money so it forces me to use said products when I am taking a shower, I made sure they were the stuff that I really liked, like body scrubs they are my favorite scents and I made sure that they were designed to make my skin nice and soft. All the sudden I fell in love with using bath products and it forced me to take care of myself. Again, I didn't want to waste the money. Now whenever I'm having a really rough day that is my go-to thing. Take a shower. Use that tree hut scrub that you just bought, and just enjoy the hot water going down your body. It helps.
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One thing that my therapist told me to do was to invest in expensive shower and bath care products. Of course I don't want to waste the money so it forces me to use said products when I am taking a shower, I made sure they were the stuff that I really liked, like body scrubs they are my favorite scents and I made sure that they were designed to make my skin nice and soft. All the sudden I fell in love with using bath products and it forced me to take care of myself. Again, I didn't want to waste the money. Now whenever I'm having a really rough day that is my go-to thing. Take a shower. Use that tree hut scrub that you just bought, and just enjoy the hot water going down your body. It helps.
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psych2go
After 28 years of diffuse trauma. two hard breakups, losing many Friends and losing three close family members to severe illneses and everything within three month. Hits you hard.
Sometimes everything around you has to fall apart. only for yourself so you have the chance to see what you are truly capable of.
After month of deep diving into every dark Corner that build up over the years. i lost what i was. but had the chance to see who i am. and i never loved myself more than right now.
No Matter what you are going through or whatever is holding you back. go with it. endure. and at a certain point everything will make sense.
All the best.
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After 28 years of diffuse trauma. two hard breakups, losing many Friends and losing three close family members to severe illneses and everything within three month. Hits you hard.
Sometimes everything around you has to fall apart. only for yourself so you have the chance to see what you are truly capable of.
After month of deep diving into every dark Corner that build up over the years. i lost what i was. but had the chance to see who i am. and i never loved myself more than right now.
No Matter what you are going through or whatever is holding you back. go with it. endure. and at a certain point everything will make sense.
All the best.
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juliabrnssr
This is a really different perspective. As someone who has dealt with episodes of PTSD since I was 6, I've been looking all over for ways to make those flashbacks go away. The main advice I've got is to give it time alone, It's quite shocking to hear that's not the way to do it. Therapy, as well as having people I can vent to has helped out a lot, it's even been several years since having an episode. The last point of forgiveness I find strange, as that was the first thing I did. Why would I hold a grudge against myself for something out of my control Then again I guess there is a little hate in myself for trusting people who have caused the trauma.
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This is a really different perspective. As someone who has dealt with episodes of PTSD since I was 6, I've been looking all over for ways to make those flashbacks go away. The main advice I've got is to give it time alone, It's quite shocking to hear that's not the way to do it. Therapy, as well as having people I can vent to has helped out a lot, it's even been several years since having an episode. The last point of forgiveness I find strange, as that was the first thing I did. Why would I hold a grudge against myself for something out of my control Then again I guess there is a little hate in myself for trusting people who have caused the trauma.
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youhub835
I'm was dealing with trauma
And recently cane across another one, i got cheated on, replaced, then i came to know i was being a snake to my friends from 1year, i was unknowingly sharing stuff to another friend group abouth them and they never tried to confess me instead they turned everyone against me when i questioned why they never pointed it out they were like even if we pointed it out it wouldn't have changed anything
Ik both the side has equal faults but i still can't accept the fact yhat they did that to me, i did brokw their trust but they knew it from very beginning and decided to left me out when i was in my lowest.
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I'm was dealing with trauma
And recently cane across another one, i got cheated on, replaced, then i came to know i was being a snake to my friends from 1year, i was unknowingly sharing stuff to another friend group abouth them and they never tried to confess me instead they turned everyone against me when i questioned why they never pointed it out they were like even if we pointed it out it wouldn't have changed anything
Ik both the side has equal faults but i still can't accept the fact yhat they did that to me, i did brokw their trust but they knew it from very beginning and decided to left me out when i was in my lowest.
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kishoresoma6534
Healing from trauma requires active effort and mindfulness. Trauma doesn't simply fade with time; it demands intentional steps toward recovery. Seek professional help, share your experiences with trusted friends or support groups, and engage in self-care daily. Remember, true healing comes from forgiving yourself and moving forward, not dwelling on the past. Embrace your journey with compassion and strive to rebuild a life centered around growth and well-being. You are not alone in this process; support is available and necessary for recovery. Take one step at a time, and honor your progress along the way.
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Healing from trauma requires active effort and mindfulness. Trauma doesn't simply fade with time; it demands intentional steps toward recovery. Seek professional help, share your experiences with trusted friends or support groups, and engage in self-care daily. Remember, true healing comes from forgiving yourself and moving forward, not dwelling on the past. Embrace your journey with compassion and strive to rebuild a life centered around growth and well-being. You are not alone in this process; support is available and necessary for recovery. Take one step at a time, and honor your progress along the way.
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rayasinstingray
It took me about a about two decade to even have the courage to talk about my SA to my friend. I didn't know what i wanted to hear from her but she didn't say anything, she was silent and mentioned that this is so messed up. I teared up because until then I was botteling the emotions stating it's fine nothing happened you did it on your own (I was 9 years) hearing someone say IT IS ACTUALLY MESSED UP. made me feel seen. and I'm planning on going to therapy. I'm going to become the person I wish there was with me when I needed. Also to all the people who are sharing their stories here, consensual hugs
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It took me about a about two decade to even have the courage to talk about my SA to my friend. I didn't know what i wanted to hear from her but she didn't say anything, she was silent and mentioned that this is so messed up. I teared up because until then I was botteling the emotions stating it's fine nothing happened you did it on your own (I was 9 years) hearing someone say IT IS ACTUALLY MESSED UP. made me feel seen. and I'm planning on going to therapy. I'm going to become the person I wish there was with me when I needed. Also to all the people who are sharing their stories here, consensual hugs
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cameronbaxter2529
Because I am under the age of 18, to access mental health services I need parental permission. .. The exact people I am trying to get away from.
Are there ways I can take the first step’ alone
Right now it’s the summer holidays for me, I’m stuck with my parents, without school being available for me to escape into.
I tried asking for help at school a while ago, I got given an hour session with a teacher of mine. We barely scratched the surface, I wasn’t comfortable at all and shared little information. In the end he told me to appreciate what my parents give me.
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Because I am under the age of 18, to access mental health services I need parental permission. .. The exact people I am trying to get away from.
Are there ways I can take the first step’ alone
Right now it’s the summer holidays for me, I’m stuck with my parents, without school being available for me to escape into.
I tried asking for help at school a while ago, I got given an hour session with a teacher of mine. We barely scratched the surface, I wasn’t comfortable at all and shared little information. In the end he told me to appreciate what my parents give me.
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psych2go
There has been a few Big-T Traumas that have put me in an unhealthy status with my body and mind in the past. The healing has been rather tough and/or arduous, and I have slipped a few times, but what makes a/the difference is picking myself up when I am down and learning, sometimes with the aid of a close one. It's important that I learn and get back up on my feet because the trauma that affected me the most is not going to be the only time it will happen. It's natural and is based on how we care for ourselves.
Life is always with learning and love.
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There has been a few Big-T Traumas that have put me in an unhealthy status with my body and mind in the past. The healing has been rather tough and/or arduous, and I have slipped a few times, but what makes a/the difference is picking myself up when I am down and learning, sometimes with the aid of a close one. It's important that I learn and get back up on my feet because the trauma that affected me the most is not going to be the only time it will happen. It's natural and is based on how we care for ourselves.
Life is always with learning and love.
reply
AC-ni4gt
The process for healing from trauma is a hard path but the biggest thing for me was finding the right help from the right people. I honestly was extremely willing to heal and move on. However: I had a huge road block in having a lot of things wrong that it made what I was experiencing look like severe road construction. By finding the right people and help, I was able to make my steps forward. I'll admit I have days where all I wanna do is to be lazy and do the bare minimum. And I learned it was ok to have those. Because that's what it is.
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The process for healing from trauma is a hard path but the biggest thing for me was finding the right help from the right people. I honestly was extremely willing to heal and move on. However: I had a huge road block in having a lot of things wrong that it made what I was experiencing look like severe road construction. By finding the right people and help, I was able to make my steps forward. I'll admit I have days where all I wanna do is to be lazy and do the bare minimum. And I learned it was ok to have those. Because that's what it is.
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ThoughtOfWant
Some people may believe that if they feel less unpleasant about a situation in the past, it would lead to a different more unpleasant situation in the present and future, so they cling to an unpleasant feeling about a situation in the past in an effort to avoid feeling worse in the present and future, leaving them stuck with an unpleasant feeling about a situation in the past. If people were aware of this trap, maybe it could help them avoid it.
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Some people may believe that if they feel less unpleasant about a situation in the past, it would lead to a different more unpleasant situation in the present and future, so they cling to an unpleasant feeling about a situation in the past in an effort to avoid feeling worse in the present and future, leaving them stuck with an unpleasant feeling about a situation in the past. If people were aware of this trap, maybe it could help them avoid it.
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Tsoulio333
I really want to tell you a big THANKS! I watch your videos a lot! And they are really helpful for healing. Of course I go and therapy but your videos give me BOOST and I watch your videos for understanding myself. I diagnosed with social anxiety and I understand a lot of my self with your videos. Thanks again and sorry if I do something round with my English my first language is Greek and with this dyslexia is really really hard to write
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I really want to tell you a big THANKS! I watch your videos a lot! And they are really helpful for healing. Of course I go and therapy but your videos give me BOOST and I watch your videos for understanding myself. I diagnosed with social anxiety and I understand a lot of my self with your videos. Thanks again and sorry if I do something round with my English my first language is Greek and with this dyslexia is really really hard to write
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Absolhunter251
I've had a lot of trauma and experiences I did want to end myself, I endure so much and I eventually didn't.
But, I'm healing
I had a coping mechanism like Sabrina in the story here. But, I'm glad I'm doing a lot better now. What im doing is helping myself feel amazing.
I relate to this video so much. Thank you for this.
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I've had a lot of trauma and experiences I did want to end myself, I endure so much and I eventually didn't.
But, I'm healing
I had a coping mechanism like Sabrina in the story here. But, I'm glad I'm doing a lot better now. What im doing is helping myself feel amazing.
I relate to this video so much. Thank you for this.
reply
user-dt7kx6yf8k
If there r any therapists out there, I need ur help. I'm 13 and my dad has an affair but I hv a younger sister and I'm too afraid that I'll break my family apart if I tell my mom about this. I don't want my sister to get affected. pls give me ur suggestions, guys. I'd really appreciate it
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If there r any therapists out there, I need ur help. I'm 13 and my dad has an affair but I hv a younger sister and I'm too afraid that I'll break my family apart if I tell my mom about this. I don't want my sister to get affected. pls give me ur suggestions, guys. I'd really appreciate it
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