Obsessing on Unavailable People Is an Escape from Your Own Life
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Date: 2024-08-17
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Comments and reviews: 20
hanifayyash2336
This is me. I got called from the title and watched till the end. You called the exact state I'm currently going thru right now. There is this girl from the same class of my college. I confessed to her because i think i know she likes me back (and of course i liked her too. But for some reason she said she can't accept me. I keep thinking for weeks and months on why would she be holding her feelings for me. You called the exact same scenario I've been going thru. I am also have a rough childhood and trauma here n there. My college life wasn't easy too. So maybe you're right. Maybe i unconciously looked for an escape from reality and oversimping this friend of mine. Honestly I always have this feeling where maybe I overamplified my feeling for her but I keep on chasing her because idk what to do with this feeling. When you called out to mu problem throgh this video, i feel relieved. Like someone who is very wise giving me an advice on this chronic problem. This video could be the core knowledge i need to finally make my resolve and stop chasing her for good. Maybe when the correct time comes, God bring us together, or if not, it's fine. Thank tou Psych2Go, you just saved my future by talking to me through this video. If you read this, could you heart my comment so that i know, hehe. I wanted to let you know how much this video speak for my heart.
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This is me. I got called from the title and watched till the end. You called the exact state I'm currently going thru right now. There is this girl from the same class of my college. I confessed to her because i think i know she likes me back (and of course i liked her too. But for some reason she said she can't accept me. I keep thinking for weeks and months on why would she be holding her feelings for me. You called the exact same scenario I've been going thru. I am also have a rough childhood and trauma here n there. My college life wasn't easy too. So maybe you're right. Maybe i unconciously looked for an escape from reality and oversimping this friend of mine. Honestly I always have this feeling where maybe I overamplified my feeling for her but I keep on chasing her because idk what to do with this feeling. When you called out to mu problem throgh this video, i feel relieved. Like someone who is very wise giving me an advice on this chronic problem. This video could be the core knowledge i need to finally make my resolve and stop chasing her for good. Maybe when the correct time comes, God bring us together, or if not, it's fine. Thank tou Psych2Go, you just saved my future by talking to me through this video. If you read this, could you heart my comment so that i know, hehe. I wanted to let you know how much this video speak for my heart.
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claireknight11928
A few years ago a friend of mine declared their love to me even though they knew I was emotionally unavailable due to a recent break-up and, after that, our relationship only got worse and worse. They were unable to accept rejection and took it personally, as if they weren't good enough or deserving of love at all. I loved them dearly and it broke my heart to see how my love for them, even though not romantic love, was invisible to their eyes: they could only focus on the romantic rejection. I know this happened because of their insecurities and past traumas, but I feel like this was a perfect case of falling in love with the idea of someone and livin that relationship only in one's own head. Sure, feelings can be hurt and everyone needs their time, but they were unable to see all the beauty our friendship had and how much I loved them regardless. Maybe I was the only one feeling this way. I felt like they were in love with the idea of me and ended up not caring about our real relationship. That's not real love in my book
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A few years ago a friend of mine declared their love to me even though they knew I was emotionally unavailable due to a recent break-up and, after that, our relationship only got worse and worse. They were unable to accept rejection and took it personally, as if they weren't good enough or deserving of love at all. I loved them dearly and it broke my heart to see how my love for them, even though not romantic love, was invisible to their eyes: they could only focus on the romantic rejection. I know this happened because of their insecurities and past traumas, but I feel like this was a perfect case of falling in love with the idea of someone and livin that relationship only in one's own head. Sure, feelings can be hurt and everyone needs their time, but they were unable to see all the beauty our friendship had and how much I loved them regardless. Maybe I was the only one feeling this way. I felt like they were in love with the idea of me and ended up not caring about our real relationship. That's not real love in my book
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RegularInvader
I honestly don't know if this would have applied to me if I did not maturely respond to my now former crush rejecting me at the end. Being rejected taught me that I had no complications the whole time I was single and there's no need for me to move on with someone else.
When it comes to celebrities, I never truly was obsessed with them but rather hopeful of being able to meet them with fun surprises. As of now, I managed to meet 3 creators of nostalgic favorites while sharing each of them with character hoodies I hand-stitched for fun that fit my little yorkie. The hoodies resemble fictional characters they associate with. The opportunity of surprising them with the hoodies was the best part.
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I honestly don't know if this would have applied to me if I did not maturely respond to my now former crush rejecting me at the end. Being rejected taught me that I had no complications the whole time I was single and there's no need for me to move on with someone else.
When it comes to celebrities, I never truly was obsessed with them but rather hopeful of being able to meet them with fun surprises. As of now, I managed to meet 3 creators of nostalgic favorites while sharing each of them with character hoodies I hand-stitched for fun that fit my little yorkie. The hoodies resemble fictional characters they associate with. The opportunity of surprising them with the hoodies was the best part.
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nunahovy
Holy shit, this, I feel extremely called out.
I have been searching for an answer towards what my feelings for this guy are, for like, years. I was friends with him, I enjoyed spending time with him, I'll be honest. Then we just stopped talking, I genuinely forgot why, my memory is all blurry thanks to trauma, and I have been beating myself because of it, as I just deeply miss talking to him.
The thing is, this video makes too much sense.
He is not a celebrity. But he posed an aspect of understanding, that I wasn't weird at all, and that someone could understand me. And, I just.
Should I just interact with people more Yeah, I totally should, understanding won't come outta nothing lmao
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Holy shit, this, I feel extremely called out.
I have been searching for an answer towards what my feelings for this guy are, for like, years. I was friends with him, I enjoyed spending time with him, I'll be honest. Then we just stopped talking, I genuinely forgot why, my memory is all blurry thanks to trauma, and I have been beating myself because of it, as I just deeply miss talking to him.
The thing is, this video makes too much sense.
He is not a celebrity. But he posed an aspect of understanding, that I wasn't weird at all, and that someone could understand me. And, I just.
Should I just interact with people more Yeah, I totally should, understanding won't come outta nothing lmao
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MariaClara-sn3ft
To everyone who is struggling with limerence, don't give up. I spent three painful years being limerent, but I eventually managed to get out of this and enter a real, fullfilling relationship. The first step that changed everything for me is to be AWARE. Know what limerence is and acknowledge that you struggle with it. The second step is to TAKE ACTION. Get out of this hell loop, break contact. It's going to hurt a lot as if you're actually sick and you'll feel your heart breaking. But it will eventually pass. Become the main character of your own life instead of giving this role to someone else. Be brave, I got through this and you can (and will) too.
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To everyone who is struggling with limerence, don't give up. I spent three painful years being limerent, but I eventually managed to get out of this and enter a real, fullfilling relationship. The first step that changed everything for me is to be AWARE. Know what limerence is and acknowledge that you struggle with it. The second step is to TAKE ACTION. Get out of this hell loop, break contact. It's going to hurt a lot as if you're actually sick and you'll feel your heart breaking. But it will eventually pass. Become the main character of your own life instead of giving this role to someone else. Be brave, I got through this and you can (and will) too.
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ryanricks318
Wot meh is supposed to manipulate bend n dominate reality to whom's freewill n furs whom's convenience so much so furs alls the betters nice stories they weaves o themselves twas such fun whiles spimes lasted whrrrs we sways to yond escapades o lore ood entertainment o ideas o theys yet to b determined so to b continued aways wits dat awkward doon baddy guy stuck oot off onto the fiendzone ootfields hopes crowds enjoys tall tale done told them tysm sharing knowledge n powertrips o ood dynamics upon which to alter realities warped sensation session spoil sport much honestly tysm cuteness so dat hows theys wanna plays itty so loverly nya sojourneys
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Wot meh is supposed to manipulate bend n dominate reality to whom's freewill n furs whom's convenience so much so furs alls the betters nice stories they weaves o themselves twas such fun whiles spimes lasted whrrrs we sways to yond escapades o lore ood entertainment o ideas o theys yet to b determined so to b continued aways wits dat awkward doon baddy guy stuck oot off onto the fiendzone ootfields hopes crowds enjoys tall tale done told them tysm sharing knowledge n powertrips o ood dynamics upon which to alter realities warped sensation session spoil sport much honestly tysm cuteness so dat hows theys wanna plays itty so loverly nya sojourneys
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EyequeenCasskulla
I thought this was normal tho You see it all the time in the media. Also, even tho I have fictional characters and celebrities I love, I am aware that it’ll never happen, we know it’s an escape, cuz it’s a coping mechanism for being lonely. We just want someone who will appreciate us like we appreciate others, but it’s pretty rare to find people like that. So we feel lucky for friends and/or family in our lives that happen to be that way, and it feels like a miracle to ever find that perfect lover that matches our personality and needs. Best of luck, everyone.
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I thought this was normal tho You see it all the time in the media. Also, even tho I have fictional characters and celebrities I love, I am aware that it’ll never happen, we know it’s an escape, cuz it’s a coping mechanism for being lonely. We just want someone who will appreciate us like we appreciate others, but it’s pretty rare to find people like that. So we feel lucky for friends and/or family in our lives that happen to be that way, and it feels like a miracle to ever find that perfect lover that matches our personality and needs. Best of luck, everyone.
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BUGHUNTER6
Escape isn't inherently unhealthy. Sure, if you've practically given up on finding something real and you've isolated yourself completely, that may be very unhealthy. But what about people who ARE trying their best to find real love and are unsuccessful For people like me, fantasising can offer a really great escape from the unfairness of life, the loneliness of today, the awful state of dating, and it can provide a lot of happy feelings that I simply cannot get through the normal route. I felt way more miserable not indulging in fantasy every now and then, than I do now
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Escape isn't inherently unhealthy. Sure, if you've practically given up on finding something real and you've isolated yourself completely, that may be very unhealthy. But what about people who ARE trying their best to find real love and are unsuccessful For people like me, fantasising can offer a really great escape from the unfairness of life, the loneliness of today, the awful state of dating, and it can provide a lot of happy feelings that I simply cannot get through the normal route. I felt way more miserable not indulging in fantasy every now and then, than I do now
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sandeepadhara9806
This video really called me out, there is this person which I am thinking regularly but there were(are) loopholes like I don't know anything about them personally but still can't stop thinking about them romantically. I knew something was not right(though hard to identify because never been in a romantic relationship before) but couldn't point out what's the problem, it was hampering my real professional relationship I had with that person. This video really addressed my problem and some reasons which can be behind it. Thankyou
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This video really called me out, there is this person which I am thinking regularly but there were(are) loopholes like I don't know anything about them personally but still can't stop thinking about them romantically. I knew something was not right(though hard to identify because never been in a romantic relationship before) but couldn't point out what's the problem, it was hampering my real professional relationship I had with that person. This video really addressed my problem and some reasons which can be behind it. Thankyou
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MegaFalls
I'm lucky enough that the person to whom I got attached that way is actively trying to extricate me from this situation, but it's an overwhelmingly tough place to be in. to any of you that may be going through this, you're not alone in this, though it will feel that way. limerence feels like a forever thing and you might convince yourself of that too, but it doesn't last forever. you are all worthy of finding someone that reciprocates your feelings, and I wish you success in your journey there.
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I'm lucky enough that the person to whom I got attached that way is actively trying to extricate me from this situation, but it's an overwhelmingly tough place to be in. to any of you that may be going through this, you're not alone in this, though it will feel that way. limerence feels like a forever thing and you might convince yourself of that too, but it doesn't last forever. you are all worthy of finding someone that reciprocates your feelings, and I wish you success in your journey there.
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psych2go
Been friends with this girl for almost a year. and this video best describes it. I know she doesnt have any returning feelings for me but I still keep chasing her via friendship. It doesnt help that shes the only person i genuinely connected with all summer.
I can't hold on to those feelings, but I can't lose her either. My feelings will come to light eventually. but I hope she doesnt find out while I'm still struggling.
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Been friends with this girl for almost a year. and this video best describes it. I know she doesnt have any returning feelings for me but I still keep chasing her via friendship. It doesnt help that shes the only person i genuinely connected with all summer.
I can't hold on to those feelings, but I can't lose her either. My feelings will come to light eventually. but I hope she doesnt find out while I'm still struggling.
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cameronf3343
This happened once with me with a long-distance internet friend or whatever to call them. 2020’s depression was a different kinda hell. After almost a decade of watching catfish on MTV I didn’t even think it was possible for me to fall head over heels for somebody thousands of miles away. Never happened. Didn’t understand it. But I guess lockdowns make it anything miserable is possible.
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This happened once with me with a long-distance internet friend or whatever to call them. 2020’s depression was a different kinda hell. After almost a decade of watching catfish on MTV I didn’t even think it was possible for me to fall head over heels for somebody thousands of miles away. Never happened. Didn’t understand it. But I guess lockdowns make it anything miserable is possible.
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eighteen_06
Thank you so much for posting this video. I wanted to request it from a long time ago but I didn't recognise my emotions well enough and was shy to even address it. This will help me a lot since I've always felt I don't fit into this world due to my extreme expectations, be it love or anything. I want to change it and I hope this video gives me an insight to my betterment
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Thank you so much for posting this video. I wanted to request it from a long time ago but I didn't recognise my emotions well enough and was shy to even address it. This will help me a lot since I've always felt I don't fit into this world due to my extreme expectations, be it love or anything. I want to change it and I hope this video gives me an insight to my betterment
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JadeFitzgerald-x4k
im on the aro/ace spec, and i feel bad when people say they like me because i would not be able to return those feelings, even if i wanted to.
i also grew up with a narcissistic/generally not a great mom, and i SO relate to that feeling of wanting to be loved and taken care of and all of that. though i feel ashamed for wanting those things
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im on the aro/ace spec, and i feel bad when people say they like me because i would not be able to return those feelings, even if i wanted to.
i also grew up with a narcissistic/generally not a great mom, and i SO relate to that feeling of wanting to be loved and taken care of and all of that. though i feel ashamed for wanting those things
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LukasWeeke
Yes it is an escape, actually my favorite one. A little difference: I seem to be unavailable myself and so am attracted to other unavailable people. Efficient, isn't it A friend of mine is struggling with cPTSD and seems to be attracted to me. What does that say about me Also I would prefer not to have hardwritten subtitles, I find them disturbing.
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Yes it is an escape, actually my favorite one. A little difference: I seem to be unavailable myself and so am attracted to other unavailable people. Efficient, isn't it A friend of mine is struggling with cPTSD and seems to be attracted to me. What does that say about me Also I would prefer not to have hardwritten subtitles, I find them disturbing.
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MegaManNeo
I'd say the second half describes my entire love life quite well.
Not very promising to me, being in my early 30's already and struggling brutally for those reasons mentioned as well as _some_ from your bullying subject videos in the past but yea. it is what it is.
At least this short video felt extremely insightful to me again: )
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I'd say the second half describes my entire love life quite well.
Not very promising to me, being in my early 30's already and struggling brutally for those reasons mentioned as well as _some_ from your bullying subject videos in the past but yea. it is what it is.
At least this short video felt extremely insightful to me again: )
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RandomThings-je9mv
Have none good to know though just listen to music no one has gotten to know me personally probably am unattractive it's good in my sense since I'm used to being alone even if part me desire something I discard it have never depended on anyone emotionally guess I'm too logically now, I've grown to see emotions are a weakness
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Have none good to know though just listen to music no one has gotten to know me personally probably am unattractive it's good in my sense since I'm used to being alone even if part me desire something I discard it have never depended on anyone emotionally guess I'm too logically now, I've grown to see emotions are a weakness
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BrandonEM09
Cool, just another way of pointing out how useless and unlovable I am. Thanks guys. Yes, just have relationships with people who are available to you like the ones where you don't share almost any of the same values or have any of the same interests, and have basically nothing in common. Great. So helpful.
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Cool, just another way of pointing out how useless and unlovable I am. Thanks guys. Yes, just have relationships with people who are available to you like the ones where you don't share almost any of the same values or have any of the same interests, and have basically nothing in common. Great. So helpful.
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psych2go
How about this for a comment:
Such a powerful insight! It’s so easy to get caught up in the allure of someone who’s unavailable instead of facing our own challenges. This video really highlights the importance of self-reflection and focusing on our own lives. Thanks for sharing this perspective!
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How about this for a comment:
Such a powerful insight! It’s so easy to get caught up in the allure of someone who’s unavailable instead of facing our own challenges. This video really highlights the importance of self-reflection and focusing on our own lives. Thanks for sharing this perspective!
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psych2go
I'll admit: there have been times when I only love the idea of the person rather than internally and I get obsessed with those who are just unavailable. But don't worry, I spent half my life trying to get to know someone regardless, be more patient and do my very best not to seem desperate.
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I'll admit: there have been times when I only love the idea of the person rather than internally and I get obsessed with those who are just unavailable. But don't worry, I spent half my life trying to get to know someone regardless, be more patient and do my very best not to seem desperate.
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