7 Signs Your Parents Are Toxic (But You Don't Realize It)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
K-POP_STAN_FOREVER
This is so true, parents need to understand this generation isnt theirs. Just because they were treated badly as a child they think its okay to treat their own the same. I might be younger than most of you but I understand all these feelings. Its just not okay, parents need their own Boundaries before telling the child to have any.
Some examples from personal experience -
Me: I cleaned the house for you? Arent you proud?
My mom: No, not really. You dont even do your chores? You need to finish doing this(chores)
Me: I got 100% on my test today!
My mom: Mkay, now go shower and do your chores, your room is a mess.
legit 5 pieces of clothes on the floor
Me: why are you making me do all the work? I have my chores (my sister) has hers! Im doing hers!
My mom: Stop complaining or Im going to turn off your Wi-Fi until school is back up!
Me: mom I finished vocals classes, and I had the strength to audition!
My mom: Really? Then sing infront of me! I want to see whats so important to you.
Me: but I dont want to
My mom: do it or no internet for the rest of the month!
My mom: Your always the reason that (something) happens! Clean this up, then Go to your room!
Me: but I didnt do anything! (My sister) is framing me for nothing!
Me: why cant (my sister) do this time? I always do everything!
My mom: you have no right to talk back to me! Go to your room and no more internet!
My mom is in pain: (me) go get me this!
Me: okay but what do you need?
My mom: GO GET ME IT NOW!
Me: crying in my room because my dad yelled at me (again, for NOTHING)
My mom: stop being such a crybaby, youre fine! Youre just being annoying at this point.
me sleeping at 7am
my mom breaks in (non literally) my room
My mom: Wake up you need to take care of the animals!
Me: But dad said (etc!
My mom: WAKE UP NOW!
Keep in mind that my mom can be harsh on me, I didnt include my dads times becuz they are like, just as bad and its hard to explain them.
I have 6 animals so yeah, thats mainly what this is about.
I might keep updated about some stuff.
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This is so true, parents need to understand this generation isnt theirs. Just because they were treated badly as a child they think its okay to treat their own the same. I might be younger than most of you but I understand all these feelings. Its just not okay, parents need their own Boundaries before telling the child to have any.
Some examples from personal experience -
Me: I cleaned the house for you? Arent you proud?
My mom: No, not really. You dont even do your chores? You need to finish doing this(chores)
Me: I got 100% on my test today!
My mom: Mkay, now go shower and do your chores, your room is a mess.
legit 5 pieces of clothes on the floor
Me: why are you making me do all the work? I have my chores (my sister) has hers! Im doing hers!
My mom: Stop complaining or Im going to turn off your Wi-Fi until school is back up!
Me: mom I finished vocals classes, and I had the strength to audition!
My mom: Really? Then sing infront of me! I want to see whats so important to you.
Me: but I dont want to
My mom: do it or no internet for the rest of the month!
My mom: Your always the reason that (something) happens! Clean this up, then Go to your room!
Me: but I didnt do anything! (My sister) is framing me for nothing!
Me: why cant (my sister) do this time? I always do everything!
My mom: you have no right to talk back to me! Go to your room and no more internet!
My mom is in pain: (me) go get me this!
Me: okay but what do you need?
My mom: GO GET ME IT NOW!
Me: crying in my room because my dad yelled at me (again, for NOTHING)
My mom: stop being such a crybaby, youre fine! Youre just being annoying at this point.
me sleeping at 7am
my mom breaks in (non literally) my room
My mom: Wake up you need to take care of the animals!
Me: But dad said (etc!
My mom: WAKE UP NOW!
Keep in mind that my mom can be harsh on me, I didnt include my dads times becuz they are like, just as bad and its hard to explain them.
I have 6 animals so yeah, thats mainly what this is about.
I might keep updated about some stuff.
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rory.
I experienced this behavior with my father. he would disregard my feelings in any matter, promise things he couldnt keep, project his insecurities on me, & was mentally draining. he was also a raging alcoholic. at the ripe age of 5 he decided he was fed up with me and cut all contact. this event & the many events I experienced with my mother & stepfather led to me being petrified of adults, (man or woman. I never felt truly secure & was scared to ask anybody for anything in fear they would yell at me, or berate me. when i confessed these feelings to my mother & stepfather, they got defensive and berated me for having those feelings against them saying I should be grateful. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night, praying to god for somebody to care enough to ask me whats wrong and console me. my angel arrived when I met my aunt elizabeth who helped me, & showed me a true parent figure. me, my mother, & stepfather have grown and are working things out but my childhood will never change or be better. as for my father, still no contact & frankly Id like to keep it that way. This is my story, it took me a long time to realize my parents mistakes as I was a child yearning for love. if you have this same fate, just know there is someone who cares about you. even if you dont know who they are.
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I experienced this behavior with my father. he would disregard my feelings in any matter, promise things he couldnt keep, project his insecurities on me, & was mentally draining. he was also a raging alcoholic. at the ripe age of 5 he decided he was fed up with me and cut all contact. this event & the many events I experienced with my mother & stepfather led to me being petrified of adults, (man or woman. I never felt truly secure & was scared to ask anybody for anything in fear they would yell at me, or berate me. when i confessed these feelings to my mother & stepfather, they got defensive and berated me for having those feelings against them saying I should be grateful. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night, praying to god for somebody to care enough to ask me whats wrong and console me. my angel arrived when I met my aunt elizabeth who helped me, & showed me a true parent figure. me, my mother, & stepfather have grown and are working things out but my childhood will never change or be better. as for my father, still no contact & frankly Id like to keep it that way. This is my story, it took me a long time to realize my parents mistakes as I was a child yearning for love. if you have this same fate, just know there is someone who cares about you. even if you dont know who they are.
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greenglitch345
I have always gotten the Im the parent here, I tell you what you can and can't do!
Especially when I try to help my little sister understand that she has to follow our parents rules. But they never seemed to care before. My eldest brother moved out, my second eldest brother was always in his room, and my parents were always at work. Leaving NINE year old me to take care of a FOUR year old little girl. Both of us desperate for our parents attention, even though my sister was always the one to get it.
I ended up being a mother figure for my sister, despite only being five years apart.
I am now twelve and my parents only now seem to want to be with me and care for me even though my want for love, affection, and attention never mattered then.
I also have a huge problem with people touching me out of the blue, I have told my mother I'm uncomfortable being touched MULTIPLE times, yet she still does it. Should I do something about it? I dont want to be on her bad side again.
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I have always gotten the Im the parent here, I tell you what you can and can't do!
Especially when I try to help my little sister understand that she has to follow our parents rules. But they never seemed to care before. My eldest brother moved out, my second eldest brother was always in his room, and my parents were always at work. Leaving NINE year old me to take care of a FOUR year old little girl. Both of us desperate for our parents attention, even though my sister was always the one to get it.
I ended up being a mother figure for my sister, despite only being five years apart.
I am now twelve and my parents only now seem to want to be with me and care for me even though my want for love, affection, and attention never mattered then.
I also have a huge problem with people touching me out of the blue, I have told my mother I'm uncomfortable being touched MULTIPLE times, yet she still does it. Should I do something about it? I dont want to be on her bad side again.
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Alexander
1: 58 my dad would have slaped me if i got that score (slaped 3 times) one time i did not study and got 78 next time i did study but the questions were over my level because me and a group of people would do diferent math that is not higher or lower than the others type of math and when i got there i had the wrong test (so did the whole group) and i got a 82 but my dad did not belive me but did not slap he just got very angry and made me study more and the third time that hapend is when i was in ela test but i hate ela and its not my normal language so i had to do grammar and i very suck at it sometimes but otnertimes i was good so then i got a 76 and got slaped for it and usualy i get slaped so much that i have no emotinal sadnes so when i almost start to cry near my family they just say grow up you are too old for crying although i am literly 12 years old
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1: 58 my dad would have slaped me if i got that score (slaped 3 times) one time i did not study and got 78 next time i did study but the questions were over my level because me and a group of people would do diferent math that is not higher or lower than the others type of math and when i got there i had the wrong test (so did the whole group) and i got a 82 but my dad did not belive me but did not slap he just got very angry and made me study more and the third time that hapend is when i was in ela test but i hate ela and its not my normal language so i had to do grammar and i very suck at it sometimes but otnertimes i was good so then i got a 76 and got slaped for it and usualy i get slaped so much that i have no emotinal sadnes so when i almost start to cry near my family they just say grow up you are too old for crying although i am literly 12 years old
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Wine
I always thought that all this was normal and that my family was very healthy I never seen it that way but what really hurts me most is them making fun off me body shaming me I like anime and they shame me for that I like drawing anime characters and they shame me for the too one time they banned from drawing anime and watching it and I said why and they cuz your in class b B and not A they say whats wrong with me cuz Im friends with someone and they hate her and they made me believe that she was lying about her mommy issues and her suicidal thoughts they said I was not normal cuz I like to dress emo they said that I was below everyone else for being the way I am I have had trouble with SH and I cant speak to them about it and all of this is happening right now and Im only 11
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I always thought that all this was normal and that my family was very healthy I never seen it that way but what really hurts me most is them making fun off me body shaming me I like anime and they shame me for that I like drawing anime characters and they shame me for the too one time they banned from drawing anime and watching it and I said why and they cuz your in class b B and not A they say whats wrong with me cuz Im friends with someone and they hate her and they made me believe that she was lying about her mommy issues and her suicidal thoughts they said I was not normal cuz I like to dress emo they said that I was below everyone else for being the way I am I have had trouble with SH and I cant speak to them about it and all of this is happening right now and Im only 11
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if0undchaos
my mother when i BARELY even did a damage on expensive items always use to threatened to send me to my father (my parents divorced and he have a wive that always abuse my little brother) and that hurt my feelings since he has anger issues or maybe polar thing? i always silently crying or even tries to not cry since i was 7-8 because my mom KNOWS he tried to threatened me to go off myself because i made a mess when i was 3 and she dont care about the past and still use that threat. idc if she gives me good stuff and treat me nicely but if she uses my dad again, im gonna lose it.
not to mention after she said that, she SAW me crying and constantly wiping them and she made an ANNOYED face. and continue the day like that never happened.
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my mother when i BARELY even did a damage on expensive items always use to threatened to send me to my father (my parents divorced and he have a wive that always abuse my little brother) and that hurt my feelings since he has anger issues or maybe polar thing? i always silently crying or even tries to not cry since i was 7-8 because my mom KNOWS he tried to threatened me to go off myself because i made a mess when i was 3 and she dont care about the past and still use that threat. idc if she gives me good stuff and treat me nicely but if she uses my dad again, im gonna lose it.
not to mention after she said that, she SAW me crying and constantly wiping them and she made an ANNOYED face. and continue the day like that never happened.
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Charlie
My dad consistently accuses me of being hard done by, and recently, when I was trying to help with resurfacing part of the yard for new grass seed, he belittled me when I accidentally messed up trying to do the raking.
Not once did my dad offer to help me; he just kept demeaning me and getting angry with my mistakes even though I truly did try my best at the job.
Luckily, my awesome little sister had my back the whole time, and guided me through the work.
Talk about a toxic old fart (my dad. My mom isnt really much better.
But I have never lived on my own before, and wouldnt know how to, even if Id 100% allow my sister to visit. but keep my totally toxic, wrung-out washcloth of a father at a good distance.
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My dad consistently accuses me of being hard done by, and recently, when I was trying to help with resurfacing part of the yard for new grass seed, he belittled me when I accidentally messed up trying to do the raking.
Not once did my dad offer to help me; he just kept demeaning me and getting angry with my mistakes even though I truly did try my best at the job.
Luckily, my awesome little sister had my back the whole time, and guided me through the work.
Talk about a toxic old fart (my dad. My mom isnt really much better.
But I have never lived on my own before, and wouldnt know how to, even if Id 100% allow my sister to visit. but keep my totally toxic, wrung-out washcloth of a father at a good distance.
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L0LA
When i was age 9, my mum was yelling at me and my father and threatening to leave and saying stuff like its not my fault your an accident and carry on and ill beat you up it was at that point when i snapped and screamed and screamed through my tears, and despite my mother threatening my father, he stuck up for her, so when i got married only my dad and family and friends were able to come to my wedding, me and my wife sent her a slice of cake but she didnt know i was getting married cos i blocked her 2 years before, so she was fuming that i married someone with the same gender as me and kept on telling me how are you gonna get a life your a disappointment but in my opinion shes let herself down
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When i was age 9, my mum was yelling at me and my father and threatening to leave and saying stuff like its not my fault your an accident and carry on and ill beat you up it was at that point when i snapped and screamed and screamed through my tears, and despite my mother threatening my father, he stuck up for her, so when i got married only my dad and family and friends were able to come to my wedding, me and my wife sent her a slice of cake but she didnt know i was getting married cos i blocked her 2 years before, so she was fuming that i married someone with the same gender as me and kept on telling me how are you gonna get a life your a disappointment but in my opinion shes let herself down
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GreenMonkeGT
When I was 7 my parents broke up and I stayed with my mom. I was scared I would never see my dad again. I began to gain so much anxiety I was worried about every single little thing and after the breakup my mom began to be toxic towards me and my little brother. And she basically ruined my life I became depressed, I got PTSD and now I mental health issues I havent told anyone this besides my friends and they didnt care it feels kinda good to type this and tell people this although I know Ill get some hate it feels good
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When I was 7 my parents broke up and I stayed with my mom. I was scared I would never see my dad again. I began to gain so much anxiety I was worried about every single little thing and after the breakup my mom began to be toxic towards me and my little brother. And she basically ruined my life I became depressed, I got PTSD and now I mental health issues I havent told anyone this besides my friends and they didnt care it feels kinda good to type this and tell people this although I know Ill get some hate it feels good
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Maytal
It hurts to realize this as an adult since most of it was my mother this whole time and why I feel so much pain believe I'm always the damage child was my mom this whole time and it hurts to know that.
I understand losing a partner in the family is painful but to use as an excuse to hurt your own daughters and had no standards is where it actually makes you resents them and hate them that affects your adulthood. I realized that as an adult and I'm not just seeing things it really affected my whole childhood and life.
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It hurts to realize this as an adult since most of it was my mother this whole time and why I feel so much pain believe I'm always the damage child was my mom this whole time and it hurts to know that.
I understand losing a partner in the family is painful but to use as an excuse to hurt your own daughters and had no standards is where it actually makes you resents them and hate them that affects your adulthood. I realized that as an adult and I'm not just seeing things it really affected my whole childhood and life.
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Speedy
Whenever I was arguing with my parents I'd cry. I felt like I wasn't even good enough for them! When they were upset, mostly my mother would just yell at me for no reason. My father would always say could've been better whenever I got an 8 or a 9 at school but when I get a 10 he would just say an empty 'congrats'. I was also used as a meat shield by my own mother. You made me realize that my parents are toxic to be honest, and I appreciate it. I thought it was all normal! Now I'm not sure if all this can lead to anxiety
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Whenever I was arguing with my parents I'd cry. I felt like I wasn't even good enough for them! When they were upset, mostly my mother would just yell at me for no reason. My father would always say could've been better whenever I got an 8 or a 9 at school but when I get a 10 he would just say an empty 'congrats'. I was also used as a meat shield by my own mother. You made me realize that my parents are toxic to be honest, and I appreciate it. I thought it was all normal! Now I'm not sure if all this can lead to anxiety
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(fake)
my mom always forgives for accidentally forcing their anger on me and im fine with that. and i care alot about her for really caring about me. my dad on the other hand. instead of forgiving he punches me in the face. when i try to hug him he pushes me and says dont touch me worthless idiot he wont give a crap about my school. he wont give me any food. its only my brother who does so. my mom and dad are in different houses. when im on my dad's house i just dont feel safe.
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my mom always forgives for accidentally forcing their anger on me and im fine with that. and i care alot about her for really caring about me. my dad on the other hand. instead of forgiving he punches me in the face. when i try to hug him he pushes me and says dont touch me worthless idiot he wont give a crap about my school. he wont give me any food. its only my brother who does so. my mom and dad are in different houses. when im on my dad's house i just dont feel safe.
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Brooklyn
The all take and no give one really hit me hard because two years ago when i was 10 going on 11 my nana died. Thats my moms mom so obviously my mom was heartbroken. Buttt for the last few years (im 13 now) she is always putting her stress and emotions on me. and i have always been like oh its fine because she lost her mom so i need to fill in for nana now. but honestly its tiring and like why am i the one that has to put all ur weight on my shoulders? Idk whaat to do.
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The all take and no give one really hit me hard because two years ago when i was 10 going on 11 my nana died. Thats my moms mom so obviously my mom was heartbroken. Buttt for the last few years (im 13 now) she is always putting her stress and emotions on me. and i have always been like oh its fine because she lost her mom so i need to fill in for nana now. but honestly its tiring and like why am i the one that has to put all ur weight on my shoulders? Idk whaat to do.
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R0B10X4MB3R
my mum isnt bad but my dad is, he said the reason your mother left me is because of you. which caused me problems and my year 5 teacher who yelled at me for not being able to see, not being able to make mistakes. and thats why i ended up lashing out at my mum and then shed be like i dont want to say i love you right now. which caused me to break down and i locked myself in my room for 2 days. she said sorry and then nothing else.
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my mum isnt bad but my dad is, he said the reason your mother left me is because of you. which caused me problems and my year 5 teacher who yelled at me for not being able to see, not being able to make mistakes. and thats why i ended up lashing out at my mum and then shed be like i dont want to say i love you right now. which caused me to break down and i locked myself in my room for 2 days. she said sorry and then nothing else.
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Spirit_Rider666
I never had ANY of these things with my parents, only that sometimes I have to comfort my mom when she is going trough something heavy, unlike me, she had a really bad childhood, she is the only one of her family household from her side who is still alive and she never actually had a childhood. Thats why im so surprised she could become such a great parent while her childhood was straightout crap.
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I never had ANY of these things with my parents, only that sometimes I have to comfort my mom when she is going trough something heavy, unlike me, she had a really bad childhood, she is the only one of her family household from her side who is still alive and she never actually had a childhood. Thats why im so surprised she could become such a great parent while her childhood was straightout crap.
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Nifflermini
Okay, I got all of this but all from different people. The only one who didnt do any of this is my dad. My dad has always been the one I feel most safe with because my mom always but pressure on me to be perfect, and make sure i put helping her first. I think shes starting to see where she went wrong, but sometimes i wonder If I can even be fixed anymore. Whenever I try to point out my
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Okay, I got all of this but all from different people. The only one who didnt do any of this is my dad. My dad has always been the one I feel most safe with because my mom always but pressure on me to be perfect, and make sure i put helping her first. I think shes starting to see where she went wrong, but sometimes i wonder If I can even be fixed anymore. Whenever I try to point out my
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Burr
It's hard when you know this is happening to you, but there really isn't anything you can do until you move out. It's taken me up until just about last year to finally figure it out. It's hard, and it takes a lot to heal. Especially when you know you'll probably never have a chance to rebuild that relationship that every human desires. But, you've got this.
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It's hard when you know this is happening to you, but there really isn't anything you can do until you move out. It's taken me up until just about last year to finally figure it out. It's hard, and it takes a lot to heal. Especially when you know you'll probably never have a chance to rebuild that relationship that every human desires. But, you've got this.
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Pie
I wish i could do something but im just 13 and she (she being my mom) tells me that if i do anything to disobey her (dad is absent) Ill be sent to the mental hospital, even tho she knows how much i cry because of that place. Sorry to bother but if anyone had a similar experience could you please give me advice
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I wish i could do something but im just 13 and she (she being my mom) tells me that if i do anything to disobey her (dad is absent) Ill be sent to the mental hospital, even tho she knows how much i cry because of that place. Sorry to bother but if anyone had a similar experience could you please give me advice
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BaileyBear2017
Yeah my mum barges into my room and yells at me, in front of my poor gerbil who has to hear it and if I say ANYTHING I get accused of answering back like girl I just dont want you shouting in my room and shut my damn door- ALSO IF I HAVE MY DOOR SHUT IM NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG-
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Yeah my mum barges into my room and yells at me, in front of my poor gerbil who has to hear it and if I say ANYTHING I get accused of answering back like girl I just dont want you shouting in my room and shut my damn door- ALSO IF I HAVE MY DOOR SHUT IM NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG-
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King
Just realized that yesterday, i told my mom that i am paranoid and she just said that i should just control my thoughts to which i replied thst i already do but that i sometimes can't control them and she got angry and said thst i am dumb and then refused to talk to me
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Just realized that yesterday, i told my mom that i am paranoid and she just said that i should just control my thoughts to which i replied thst i already do but that i sometimes can't control them and she got angry and said thst i am dumb and then refused to talk to me
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Lol
I mean my mom does almost all of these but she is a really great person, even it sometimes hurt me, I still know that she is right I really never tried hard enough, and im still working on myself so I can be the daughter my mother always wanted.
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I mean my mom does almost all of these but she is a really great person, even it sometimes hurt me, I still know that she is right I really never tried hard enough, and im still working on myself so I can be the daughter my mother always wanted.
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Monika
This just made me cry, because I relate to this, especially when they insult me to make me down.
I know they are trying to do better, it was because of the virus that made me more shy and introvert, and with them, anger and impatient
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This just made me cry, because I relate to this, especially when they insult me to make me down.
I know they are trying to do better, it was because of the virus that made me more shy and introvert, and with them, anger and impatient
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Nerd
You are born to basically take care of your parents but you aren't allowed to show any emotion or cry about what they do to you at all. You can't ever please them either so why try? You are gonna get into trouble and yelled at anyways.
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You are born to basically take care of your parents but you aren't allowed to show any emotion or cry about what they do to you at all. You can't ever please them either so why try? You are gonna get into trouble and yelled at anyways.
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Angel
One time when I was younger I got in trouble and my mom got so mad at me that she slammed the door into my teeth and the inside of my mouth was bleeding ALOT and my mom didn't care
Probably that's why I want to jump off a cliff
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One time when I was younger I got in trouble and my mom got so mad at me that she slammed the door into my teeth and the inside of my mouth was bleeding ALOT and my mom didn't care
Probably that's why I want to jump off a cliff
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NobodyKnows605
I can relate to the It's nothing compared to what I do all day. Of course, it happens all the time to me, but I still love my parents, I just wanted to see if there was anything I could find that was relatable and I did.
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I can relate to the It's nothing compared to what I do all day. Of course, it happens all the time to me, but I still love my parents, I just wanted to see if there was anything I could find that was relatable and I did.
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