6 Signs You're Shy, Not Socially Awkward
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Matt
I moved to the UK at age 7, I could hardly speak English. Because of this, I never spoke to anyone, not even teachers. Somehow the school accommodated me with this throughout. I had only 2 friends and only communicated non-verbally. Somehow that carried over to secondary school, only this time I had no friends, only my twin brother. Because of him, I never reached out to anyone else, never talked to anyone else, except on occasion teachers, in private. Never had to do any public speaking, presentations, nothing. (well, there were some classes where I didn't get to sit out, but I ended up skipping school entirely those days, to a point where I think the school staff considered it better if I'm not required to, as otherwise I'd just not attend.
It got a little better with A-Levels (ages 16-18, this time I wasn't insistent on keeping quiet. It just kind of happened. Still, only hanged around with my brother, nobody really bothered us, no one reached out.
I've now graduated university with an honours degree. Made no friends, made no in-person contact with students, professors, etc except where required. Anytime I'd need help or assistance with classes, I'd just get home and send an e-mail instead.
Because of that initial move to the UK, to this day I have never been to a gym, pub, club, or any place people go with friends. I never went out because I'd only talk with my brother who lived with me and we could just talk at home.
I'm not sure if I'm awkward, but whenever I get into social interactions (i. e. when I was learning to drive with an instructor, I wouldn't really talk all that much. I don't think I could keep a conversation going even if I was interested in the topic, though then again, I never really tried. Eye-contact is something I cannot do. I tried as much as I could at job interviews and such, via zoom, but if I'm saying anything meaningful, I lose eye-contact. My eyes look up mostly. When listening, I focus on the mouth of the speaker, worrying I might not catch what he/she said, so the mouth movements help with listening.
I don't know. Just a bit about me I guess.
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I moved to the UK at age 7, I could hardly speak English. Because of this, I never spoke to anyone, not even teachers. Somehow the school accommodated me with this throughout. I had only 2 friends and only communicated non-verbally. Somehow that carried over to secondary school, only this time I had no friends, only my twin brother. Because of him, I never reached out to anyone else, never talked to anyone else, except on occasion teachers, in private. Never had to do any public speaking, presentations, nothing. (well, there were some classes where I didn't get to sit out, but I ended up skipping school entirely those days, to a point where I think the school staff considered it better if I'm not required to, as otherwise I'd just not attend.
It got a little better with A-Levels (ages 16-18, this time I wasn't insistent on keeping quiet. It just kind of happened. Still, only hanged around with my brother, nobody really bothered us, no one reached out.
I've now graduated university with an honours degree. Made no friends, made no in-person contact with students, professors, etc except where required. Anytime I'd need help or assistance with classes, I'd just get home and send an e-mail instead.
Because of that initial move to the UK, to this day I have never been to a gym, pub, club, or any place people go with friends. I never went out because I'd only talk with my brother who lived with me and we could just talk at home.
I'm not sure if I'm awkward, but whenever I get into social interactions (i. e. when I was learning to drive with an instructor, I wouldn't really talk all that much. I don't think I could keep a conversation going even if I was interested in the topic, though then again, I never really tried. Eye-contact is something I cannot do. I tried as much as I could at job interviews and such, via zoom, but if I'm saying anything meaningful, I lose eye-contact. My eyes look up mostly. When listening, I focus on the mouth of the speaker, worrying I might not catch what he/she said, so the mouth movements help with listening.
I don't know. Just a bit about me I guess.
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Chamber
I'm definitely untrusting of people due to past experiences, and I'm always worried that someone who expresses interest in me is simply looking for a meal ticket. It's not a stretch to realize that in collapsing economy, more and more of these people will be coming out of the woodwork. A few people online keep insisting they're not trying to use or scam me; but I have a hard time believing them because I have yet to actually see them in person, which isn't unreasonable in my view.
It's when someone tells me online that they love me when we haven't even met yet, let alone spent time together, that the red flags go up. And when they ask me for money, OH BOY! That's when I'm certain they're trying to scam me. Yet a few of these people have stuck around, even after I've repeatedly refused their pleas for money. Obviously, I'm not an idiot; but I can't tell if I can trust them or not when they stay with me after doing something so obviously sketchy. I've been single for 19 years now and it's been a lonely and painful journey. But having people in your life comes with its own set of difficulties, too. Ultimately, I do miss the company and the companionship. On the flip side, I'm not severely stressed out all the time.
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I'm definitely untrusting of people due to past experiences, and I'm always worried that someone who expresses interest in me is simply looking for a meal ticket. It's not a stretch to realize that in collapsing economy, more and more of these people will be coming out of the woodwork. A few people online keep insisting they're not trying to use or scam me; but I have a hard time believing them because I have yet to actually see them in person, which isn't unreasonable in my view.
It's when someone tells me online that they love me when we haven't even met yet, let alone spent time together, that the red flags go up. And when they ask me for money, OH BOY! That's when I'm certain they're trying to scam me. Yet a few of these people have stuck around, even after I've repeatedly refused their pleas for money. Obviously, I'm not an idiot; but I can't tell if I can trust them or not when they stay with me after doing something so obviously sketchy. I've been single for 19 years now and it's been a lonely and painful journey. But having people in your life comes with its own set of difficulties, too. Ultimately, I do miss the company and the companionship. On the flip side, I'm not severely stressed out all the time.
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Nightwing
Could it be the socially awkward parts happen because we are not behaving in a way that is consistent with who we are? So if we are truly shy people, we tend to force interactions we cant handle because we didnt understand ourselves well enough to know that what our own self would enjoy and perform better at would be to hold back at first, socialise when confident, and be ok with ourselves not always being among friends? By reducing social awkwardness, I think people can accomplish much better life satisfaction.
I need some help on this though cuz in the past I have been socially awkward to go around socialising with people way too liberally without getting to know them enough. Now, they kinda come looking for me and my charming friendliness and I feel really bad when I cant be that way all the time or at least when they come over. What should I do?
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Could it be the socially awkward parts happen because we are not behaving in a way that is consistent with who we are? So if we are truly shy people, we tend to force interactions we cant handle because we didnt understand ourselves well enough to know that what our own self would enjoy and perform better at would be to hold back at first, socialise when confident, and be ok with ourselves not always being among friends? By reducing social awkwardness, I think people can accomplish much better life satisfaction.
I need some help on this though cuz in the past I have been socially awkward to go around socialising with people way too liberally without getting to know them enough. Now, they kinda come looking for me and my charming friendliness and I feel really bad when I cant be that way all the time or at least when they come over. What should I do?
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Mimiloriya
guess I'm a nice mix of both: >
I mean, I was never really 'normal', but what I would call social awkwardness just grew worse when I kept changing schools and my best friend suddenly told me she didnt want to be friends with me anymore because of my shortcomings (well, some big family problems probably had an impact too) so I started becoming shy or just generally anxious around everyone, especially people I am close with because I dont want them to think I'm weird (even at the houses of my best friends I just cant relax, almost every move I make is thought over multiple times and if I realize that I acted without thinking, I continue to overthink how I can resolve the situation and if anything has worsened through that action)
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guess I'm a nice mix of both: >
I mean, I was never really 'normal', but what I would call social awkwardness just grew worse when I kept changing schools and my best friend suddenly told me she didnt want to be friends with me anymore because of my shortcomings (well, some big family problems probably had an impact too) so I started becoming shy or just generally anxious around everyone, especially people I am close with because I dont want them to think I'm weird (even at the houses of my best friends I just cant relax, almost every move I make is thought over multiple times and if I realize that I acted without thinking, I continue to overthink how I can resolve the situation and if anything has worsened through that action)
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NightLocke_17
Im scared to talk to new people and often get written off as a loner. I only really ever talk to one person on social media on an almost daily basis, and I constantly feel better texting over talking out loud. It gives me time to think of what I want to type instead of shutting down socially. Being an only child doesnt help much and my parents dont often push me out of my comfort zone so that adds into some of my social anxiety. Making friends is easier said than done for me.
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Im scared to talk to new people and often get written off as a loner. I only really ever talk to one person on social media on an almost daily basis, and I constantly feel better texting over talking out loud. It gives me time to think of what I want to type instead of shutting down socially. Being an only child doesnt help much and my parents dont often push me out of my comfort zone so that adds into some of my social anxiety. Making friends is easier said than done for me.
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super
I got nothing from this video, I'm half socially awkward and half shy ig. Like when i talk to someone, literally anyone, i have almost every trait of being socially awkward, but im also afraid of approaching strangers if they don't approach me first. And i unintentionally seem really bored and uninterested in social situations because of my resting face and the fact that i zone out often and don't know how to express emotions properly without being really loud and hyper
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I got nothing from this video, I'm half socially awkward and half shy ig. Like when i talk to someone, literally anyone, i have almost every trait of being socially awkward, but im also afraid of approaching strangers if they don't approach me first. And i unintentionally seem really bored and uninterested in social situations because of my resting face and the fact that i zone out often and don't know how to express emotions properly without being really loud and hyper
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Young
I'm here on the other side of the river. I believe myself to be a very outgoing person, always interacting with everyone and having 0 embarrassment when speaking in public. However, I feel like some people perceives me as a weirdo sometimes, because I'm quite asocial. I enjoy having a lot of time for myself and I might go as far as rejecting plans to just go for a walk on my own. This makes me end up in my own world and as a result, I don't have that many friends.
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I'm here on the other side of the river. I believe myself to be a very outgoing person, always interacting with everyone and having 0 embarrassment when speaking in public. However, I feel like some people perceives me as a weirdo sometimes, because I'm quite asocial. I enjoy having a lot of time for myself and I might go as far as rejecting plans to just go for a walk on my own. This makes me end up in my own world and as a result, I don't have that many friends.
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VideoGameStar
I feel I lean more on the shy end of the spectrum, especially since I feel like people can already read my mind and feel everything I do is wrong, that even I avoid looking at someone unless I really badly want them to notice me out of fear of having a death sentence at my doorstep just for it.
Or maybe I'm just wanting some love and affection but I don't know how to escalate any interaction and nudge it in that direction: shrug: hell if I know.
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I feel I lean more on the shy end of the spectrum, especially since I feel like people can already read my mind and feel everything I do is wrong, that even I avoid looking at someone unless I really badly want them to notice me out of fear of having a death sentence at my doorstep just for it.
Or maybe I'm just wanting some love and affection but I don't know how to escalate any interaction and nudge it in that direction: shrug: hell if I know.
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AZ
I'm definitely much more awkward than shy, my shyness only shows a little under certain circumstances, but it's replaced soon by awkwardness, in part due to having autistic traits. I actually like to talk to people, especially when I'm teaching classes, but outside of that circumstance, I appear as weird by many. Well, being eccentric and embracing it may be a cause, too XD
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I'm definitely much more awkward than shy, my shyness only shows a little under certain circumstances, but it's replaced soon by awkwardness, in part due to having autistic traits. I actually like to talk to people, especially when I'm teaching classes, but outside of that circumstance, I appear as weird by many. Well, being eccentric and embracing it may be a cause, too XD
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Safiyyah
I feel like number 4 is the biggest reason I've changed into such a cautious person when it come to interacting with others. I remember when I was younger I was so open and unafraid of new places and people. It's hard to believe I used to be like that and lately I truly wish I could be that open, friendly and adventerous person again.
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I feel like number 4 is the biggest reason I've changed into such a cautious person when it come to interacting with others. I remember when I was younger I was so open and unafraid of new places and people. It's hard to believe I used to be like that and lately I truly wish I could be that open, friendly and adventerous person again.
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emily
I'm mostly shy but have social awkward tendencies and so that makes it difficult for me to make genuine connections with people. I'm working on it though! It's been really tough to unlearn by those behaviours that turn people off and I'm aware of them, but it can be stressful to be in social situations especially with strangers.
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I'm mostly shy but have social awkward tendencies and so that makes it difficult for me to make genuine connections with people. I'm working on it though! It's been really tough to unlearn by those behaviours that turn people off and I'm aware of them, but it can be stressful to be in social situations especially with strangers.
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Gary
I'm a little bit of both. The reason I'm shy around people is because I've had experiences meeting people, befriending them and then they disappear from my life. Having said that, I feel socially awkward when I do meet someone, I end up talking their ear off by talking way too much about myself and not asking anything about them.
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I'm a little bit of both. The reason I'm shy around people is because I've had experiences meeting people, befriending them and then they disappear from my life. Having said that, I feel socially awkward when I do meet someone, I end up talking their ear off by talking way too much about myself and not asking anything about them.
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Ygen_AMV
imma both even im more like social akward but I still shy because 10% inherited from my mother and 40% bcs of my past that always turned off when trying to become friends with others that makes me got bullied and lost confident with myself but as I grow up I try to live with it and change my shyness to social akward
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imma both even im more like social akward but I still shy because 10% inherited from my mother and 40% bcs of my past that always turned off when trying to become friends with others that makes me got bullied and lost confident with myself but as I grow up I try to live with it and change my shyness to social akward
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Bryan35
After this video Im definitely a shy person towards strangers because when I talk to people here im not so shy but when I do talk to people in person I can be shy sometimes especially when I talk to girls. But luckily Im gonna be meeting new people soon who are also on the Autism Spectrum just like me.
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After this video Im definitely a shy person towards strangers because when I talk to people here im not so shy but when I do talk to people in person I can be shy sometimes especially when I talk to girls. But luckily Im gonna be meeting new people soon who are also on the Autism Spectrum just like me.
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Risse
I just hope that with this, some people will understand that it's not being aloof or uninterested. I've been forced more than a dozen times to interact with strangers then get criticized if I don't engage in conversation. It's not that I don't want to, I just don't know how.
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I just hope that with this, some people will understand that it's not being aloof or uninterested. I've been forced more than a dozen times to interact with strangers then get criticized if I don't engage in conversation. It's not that I don't want to, I just don't know how.
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Aya
I'm akward not because I can't read social cues but because I'm inexpressive and am too conscious of my body lenguage and facial expressions which make my face look weird / ugly and I often get missinterpreted. It's also not that I'm autistic but my lack of social experience.
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I'm akward not because I can't read social cues but because I'm inexpressive and am too conscious of my body lenguage and facial expressions which make my face look weird / ugly and I often get missinterpreted. It's also not that I'm autistic but my lack of social experience.
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Lucia
I hate when being shy is seen as something bad. We hear everywhere confidence is attractive, but they never explain what is confidence in their opinion No it's not about being as loud as possible. If something makes me feel bad about myself, I'm immediately out
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I hate when being shy is seen as something bad. We hear everywhere confidence is attractive, but they never explain what is confidence in their opinion No it's not about being as loud as possible. If something makes me feel bad about myself, I'm immediately out
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Samfroggeh
I used to get talked into going to work parties, it led to me standing in a corner scanning the room for exits/details that are more interesting. It's awful but at the same time, it's too loud for me to talk and I'd rather be left alone xD
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I used to get talked into going to work parties, it led to me standing in a corner scanning the room for exits/details that are more interesting. It's awful but at the same time, it's too loud for me to talk and I'd rather be left alone xD
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Faolan
Number 5 confirms it for me, which is a relief.
I can be outright obnoxious around people I know well. The more comfortable I feel around a person, the more my genuinely sunny side shows.
Outside of 3 its all pretty true.
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Number 5 confirms it for me, which is a relief.
I can be outright obnoxious around people I know well. The more comfortable I feel around a person, the more my genuinely sunny side shows.
Outside of 3 its all pretty true.
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Jade
Used to think I was shy, but I feel more socially awkward only feel happy talking about books. .-.
I take so long to open up but then I get so much anxiety: -:
I feel like I say something wrong all the time it's pain.
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Used to think I was shy, but I feel more socially awkward only feel happy talking about books. .-.
I take so long to open up but then I get so much anxiety: -:
I feel like I say something wrong all the time it's pain.
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its
ok yeah im shy. i dont like being around people i dont know. i find myself cracking my knuckles or just messing with my shorts. i dont like meeting new people because i dont know what theyll think of me.
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ok yeah im shy. i dont like being around people i dont know. i find myself cracking my knuckles or just messing with my shorts. i dont like meeting new people because i dont know what theyll think of me.
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Nola
I can be a little shy sometimes when I first meet someone but that fades fast, lol, I am very outgoing, talkative and forward, I tell it like it is and I don' t beat around the bush, am a Leo
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I can be a little shy sometimes when I first meet someone but that fades fast, lol, I am very outgoing, talkative and forward, I tell it like it is and I don' t beat around the bush, am a Leo
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Nosaj
Im shy until I feel comfortable around people. Sometimes. all it take is an enegrydrink like the orange kick start, I guess because the vitamin c in it, and im able to just talk to anybody
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Im shy until I feel comfortable around people. Sometimes. all it take is an enegrydrink like the orange kick start, I guess because the vitamin c in it, and im able to just talk to anybody
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Lin
3: 54 all my classmates think thatI AM JUST SELECTIVE, HEAR ME OUT, CLASSMATES, I want to make friends with everyone but I have to judge them first, like their personality, and yeah
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3: 54 all my classmates think thatI AM JUST SELECTIVE, HEAR ME OUT, CLASSMATES, I want to make friends with everyone but I have to judge them first, like their personality, and yeah
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Sanika
this comment is not abt this vid but I have a doubt
there is this guy I crush on and we speak online and he speaks really openly so.
any chance he is into me?
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this comment is not abt this vid but I have a doubt
there is this guy I crush on and we speak online and he speaks really openly so.
any chance he is into me?
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