When an Anxious Attachment Dates an Avoidant
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Date: 2024-06-17
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Comments and reviews: 20
juliogil9452
I’m in a relationship with an anxious attachment person while being an avoidant. And that line of if you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about was extremely prevalent in my childhood. To the point that now after going to the military and stepping back and being away for so long coming back to my family, my siblings seem to have the same issues. And my mom created us to be avoidant the way that she was created to be avoidant. And add in the communication issues then we have people not knowing what’s going on and people who do know because they ask about things (like my dad and my sister) then we have people who have issues and then half of the family knows about it and half of the others don’t. It’s basically a bad cycle of communication issues and avoidance. What helped me notice it even more is my partner. I would always call them clingy and it wasn’t until I watched videos from Psych2go that I learned about the different attachment styles it helped me understand that whenever someone grows up in an unhealthy environment or goes through something traumatic, they somehow showcase it in their actions and how they perceive themselves and the world around them. It’s fascinating to know so much about behaviors and underlying patterns in actions and thoughts. It also helps to better understand how to help others.
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I’m in a relationship with an anxious attachment person while being an avoidant. And that line of if you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about was extremely prevalent in my childhood. To the point that now after going to the military and stepping back and being away for so long coming back to my family, my siblings seem to have the same issues. And my mom created us to be avoidant the way that she was created to be avoidant. And add in the communication issues then we have people not knowing what’s going on and people who do know because they ask about things (like my dad and my sister) then we have people who have issues and then half of the family knows about it and half of the others don’t. It’s basically a bad cycle of communication issues and avoidance. What helped me notice it even more is my partner. I would always call them clingy and it wasn’t until I watched videos from Psych2go that I learned about the different attachment styles it helped me understand that whenever someone grows up in an unhealthy environment or goes through something traumatic, they somehow showcase it in their actions and how they perceive themselves and the world around them. It’s fascinating to know so much about behaviors and underlying patterns in actions and thoughts. It also helps to better understand how to help others.
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TNothingFree
Ah describes me and my ex.
Honestly I'm glad I got out of it, it was painful as hell.
I was anxious now I'm far more secure in my attachment, I was constantly trying to get if she loves me.
Every time she got cold, very cold, I thought to myself This is over.
We were off and on, which I could enable her emotions only by strong emotions, I think that's why we had to break up like 3 times during the relationship.
Anyway not fun, both people need to understand their behaviour is wrong and let themselves be comfortable with who they are.
Understanding this hot and cold behaviour and trusting one another enough to let the fire continue.
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Ah describes me and my ex.
Honestly I'm glad I got out of it, it was painful as hell.
I was anxious now I'm far more secure in my attachment, I was constantly trying to get if she loves me.
Every time she got cold, very cold, I thought to myself This is over.
We were off and on, which I could enable her emotions only by strong emotions, I think that's why we had to break up like 3 times during the relationship.
Anyway not fun, both people need to understand their behaviour is wrong and let themselves be comfortable with who they are.
Understanding this hot and cold behaviour and trusting one another enough to let the fire continue.
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nukeclear6512
Disorganized is our type of one
During exams i got so stressed i said so many words to her
She is a soft girl who fell for me hard and was extremely sensitive to whatever i said
Out of stress and my already existent trust issues made me so many things and now she believes she is all the things i said to her at those times
She left but she still cares for me and isn’t sure if she’ll come back
I want her tk the absolute beauty in her and how beautiful she is but idk how to remove the things that hurt her so much and is in her head
I wanna marry her and take her as my wife no matter what so i ask you people for help on what should i do
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Disorganized is our type of one
During exams i got so stressed i said so many words to her
She is a soft girl who fell for me hard and was extremely sensitive to whatever i said
Out of stress and my already existent trust issues made me so many things and now she believes she is all the things i said to her at those times
She left but she still cares for me and isn’t sure if she’ll come back
I want her tk the absolute beauty in her and how beautiful she is but idk how to remove the things that hurt her so much and is in her head
I wanna marry her and take her as my wife no matter what so i ask you people for help on what should i do
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Succubus_CatBoy
This was both of my past relationships. I have ASPD and autism, so it wasn’t my upbringing that gave me an avoidant attachment style, I just kind of naturally have it. Unfortunately, both of my exes (particularly my first one) had anxious attachment styles. However, we could communicate well. generally. My FIRST one had good communication.
The first one ended because I was exhausted trying to reassure him, the second one ended because he wanted me to read his mind.
Regardless, I’m aromantic anyway, so if I ever get into a relationship with someone it’ll probably be another avoidant aromantic who I just have a good relationship with.
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This was both of my past relationships. I have ASPD and autism, so it wasn’t my upbringing that gave me an avoidant attachment style, I just kind of naturally have it. Unfortunately, both of my exes (particularly my first one) had anxious attachment styles. However, we could communicate well. generally. My FIRST one had good communication.
The first one ended because I was exhausted trying to reassure him, the second one ended because he wanted me to read his mind.
Regardless, I’m aromantic anyway, so if I ever get into a relationship with someone it’ll probably be another avoidant aromantic who I just have a good relationship with.
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ArtairMcKinley
This video is being uploaded in crazy timing because just yesterday an ex of mine with avoidant attachment style texted me. I’m not anxious, I’m secure, but she’s apologising for ghosting me again and everything else that happened in between. As a former avoidant myself it allows me to have compassion and understanding for her and others alike but I’m not rekindling anything with her because she triggers anxious-like tendencies whenever we converse. I love her just not enough to sabotage my recovery and disrespect my boundaries.
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This video is being uploaded in crazy timing because just yesterday an ex of mine with avoidant attachment style texted me. I’m not anxious, I’m secure, but she’s apologising for ghosting me again and everything else that happened in between. As a former avoidant myself it allows me to have compassion and understanding for her and others alike but I’m not rekindling anything with her because she triggers anxious-like tendencies whenever we converse. I love her just not enough to sabotage my recovery and disrespect my boundaries.
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EthanSunder
Hey, Psych2go.
After watching this I am now curious if it is possible to be a collection of different set attachments. Do you think it may be possible When I was in my relationship with my ex I had constantly had every struggle that you had mentioned in the video along with some more, but whenever I recommended a therapist it was always shut down by either their family or mine because in a healthy relationship, there shouldn't need to be someone on the outside holding it together.
Thanks in advance!
Signed,
Ethan S.
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Hey, Psych2go.
After watching this I am now curious if it is possible to be a collection of different set attachments. Do you think it may be possible When I was in my relationship with my ex I had constantly had every struggle that you had mentioned in the video along with some more, but whenever I recommended a therapist it was always shut down by either their family or mine because in a healthy relationship, there shouldn't need to be someone on the outside holding it together.
Thanks in advance!
Signed,
Ethan S.
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potatoslayer7002
My dads side raised their kids like that I’ll give u something to cry about while the other my moms side were over protective I live between my grandparents houses and they are both very Dysfunctional my dad side if I have any struggles or any needs they’re ignored and frowned upon while my mom side is over bearing and intrusive so I’m back-and-forth a lot between really hot and really cold
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My dads side raised their kids like that I’ll give u something to cry about while the other my moms side were over protective I live between my grandparents houses and they are both very Dysfunctional my dad side if I have any struggles or any needs they’re ignored and frowned upon while my mom side is over bearing and intrusive so I’m back-and-forth a lot between really hot and really cold
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keip4568
A lot of people are like this.
Sadly many like to assume their views are absolute and right.
A lot of people avoid any form of conflict. Created way to unhealthy and unhappy boundaries.
Many parents when their kids grow they use this avoidance style so in a way their feelings invalid.
It is sad for those parents who show any form of emotional connection.
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A lot of people are like this.
Sadly many like to assume their views are absolute and right.
A lot of people avoid any form of conflict. Created way to unhealthy and unhappy boundaries.
Many parents when their kids grow they use this avoidance style so in a way their feelings invalid.
It is sad for those parents who show any form of emotional connection.
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Sasukeluvzme13
Such a short instance of education has awakened a sense of understanding of my relationship and even all relationships. It’s not about how toxic we can be. It’s about if we’re willing to talk about what hurts us and also look into ourselves when we’re told the same (at least in this dynamic)
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Such a short instance of education has awakened a sense of understanding of my relationship and even all relationships. It’s not about how toxic we can be. It’s about if we’re willing to talk about what hurts us and also look into ourselves when we’re told the same (at least in this dynamic)
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sandraisaweeb
I am a anxious attachment and I am still healing from my attachment but it's just sad seeing others getting into this dance.
Looking back at my relationship with the dismissive avoidant. I wished I never dated him nor got back with him from the beginning. I should have just left him on read.
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I am a anxious attachment and I am still healing from my attachment but it's just sad seeing others getting into this dance.
Looking back at my relationship with the dismissive avoidant. I wished I never dated him nor got back with him from the beginning. I should have just left him on read.
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aurorateemo3708
when i am finally in a happy healthy relationship i realized that i am the problem, i always avoid physical touch with my boyfriend, expect from him a lot that am so codependant at him i almost failed my college year, i lost myself and it hurts me because it's not his fault.
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when i am finally in a happy healthy relationship i realized that i am the problem, i always avoid physical touch with my boyfriend, expect from him a lot that am so codependant at him i almost failed my college year, i lost myself and it hurts me because it's not his fault.
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_TheIlluminator_
Sounds like a perfect match, where one person constantly worrying about the relationship while the other person is constantly avoiding it. But regardless of what type of relationship it is, misunderstandings and emotional struggles are inevitable in an indifferent universe.
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Sounds like a perfect match, where one person constantly worrying about the relationship while the other person is constantly avoiding it. But regardless of what type of relationship it is, misunderstandings and emotional struggles are inevitable in an indifferent universe.
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chisaten
Saying avoidant attachment is based on childhood experiences is overgeneralised. I am avoidant, but that is because of being repeatedly raped for almost a year by my first boyfriend. My parents homeschooled me and were always there for me in good ways, and are still here now.
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Saying avoidant attachment is based on childhood experiences is overgeneralised. I am avoidant, but that is because of being repeatedly raped for almost a year by my first boyfriend. My parents homeschooled me and were always there for me in good ways, and are still here now.
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Lmao_moood
Wait- but what if I'm both Like, idk I'm all for avoiding serious emotional commitments but I'm also easily upset and clingy In a physical sense, i hug and cling to my friends but when feelings and deep talks come up i just back away, am i avoidant or anxious
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Wait- but what if I'm both Like, idk I'm all for avoiding serious emotional commitments but I'm also easily upset and clingy In a physical sense, i hug and cling to my friends but when feelings and deep talks come up i just back away, am i avoidant or anxious
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TheChainTV
Right now My Sister and her husband is in this terms its scary, scolding there kid for crying to much and not connecting and communicating well. I just hope 1 day I want to a family not detached to each other.
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Right now My Sister and her husband is in this terms its scary, scolding there kid for crying to much and not connecting and communicating well. I just hope 1 day I want to a family not detached to each other.
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Cheza001
Struggling right now with that. The big Problem is even when you talk about it the other one wont really understand. If the anxious part is bigger i am afraid there is no future
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Struggling right now with that. The big Problem is even when you talk about it the other one wont really understand. If the anxious part is bigger i am afraid there is no future
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pallaveesingh6748
I am in an anxious avoidant relationship with myself. What do I do about that Do you have any suggestions. I am not being sarcastic, just looking for help.
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I am in an anxious avoidant relationship with myself. What do I do about that Do you have any suggestions. I am not being sarcastic, just looking for help.
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psych2go
Everyone deserve love if they have a brain with receptors. If someone doesn't the best choice is reciprocating unless it's a psychological disability.
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Everyone deserve love if they have a brain with receptors. If someone doesn't the best choice is reciprocating unless it's a psychological disability.
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helenrodriguez8884
Just as I was reading articles related to the attachment styles, this video was uploaded. Please make a video with another combo please
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Just as I was reading articles related to the attachment styles, this video was uploaded. Please make a video with another combo please
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davidwitt9375
can’t have that if one has never hand or been in a relationship
but best of luck to you all that have and are having to opportunity
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can’t have that if one has never hand or been in a relationship
but best of luck to you all that have and are having to opportunity
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