5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 24
Janet
I survived an abusive childhood. I had years of sobriety followed by years of drinking followed by years of sobriety. I am damaged from my childhood, never learning what a normal life is. My mom got us away from the abusive ass that is dad in sperm only. Over 9 years ago she went to the world famous hospital for surgery. Someone in the hospital fed her, she aspirated, and was found unresponsive. They killed her. They wouldn't admit to that of course. The woman that saved us was killed by them. I do not and will not forgive them for their negligence. There is no peace for me.
People said she's in a better place or it was god's will. God is cruel, having someone give her food, having her choke to death, so she could go to heaven? I became an Atheist. There is no end to my grief. I will never hear her voice again and that thought is devastating to me. My family is no longer a family. Her death has destroyed that. She was the rock. The coolest mom. Great listener. Very analytical. Very assertive. I never wished for a different mom. I respected her and she gave that back to me. She was the sanity in my life when all was insane. I have met no one like her. Certainly not my mother in law, she used guilt and played games, she was a horrible person. April 5 was the 9th anniversary. I am lost without her.
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I survived an abusive childhood. I had years of sobriety followed by years of drinking followed by years of sobriety. I am damaged from my childhood, never learning what a normal life is. My mom got us away from the abusive ass that is dad in sperm only. Over 9 years ago she went to the world famous hospital for surgery. Someone in the hospital fed her, she aspirated, and was found unresponsive. They killed her. They wouldn't admit to that of course. The woman that saved us was killed by them. I do not and will not forgive them for their negligence. There is no peace for me.
People said she's in a better place or it was god's will. God is cruel, having someone give her food, having her choke to death, so she could go to heaven? I became an Atheist. There is no end to my grief. I will never hear her voice again and that thought is devastating to me. My family is no longer a family. Her death has destroyed that. She was the rock. The coolest mom. Great listener. Very analytical. Very assertive. I never wished for a different mom. I respected her and she gave that back to me. She was the sanity in my life when all was insane. I have met no one like her. Certainly not my mother in law, she used guilt and played games, she was a horrible person. April 5 was the 9th anniversary. I am lost without her.
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namjoons
my ex best friend got taken by cancer today. ill never forget them. even though they werent part of my life anymore, they were still more a friend ive had in my entire life, someone i never felt that type of closeness with. we shared the same experiences and were so relatable and had the same interests, thats the main reason we clicked. i remember meeting them in year 8 in science and they introduced me to bts right there and then. when i got home, i was instantly hooked, we shared memes and an interest which bought us closer together as friends. it was like a warm hug, to be understood and share ideas with someone who actually cares. im ashamed of not trying to stay in contact more and letting my emotions get the most of me and the immaturity. i realise that this comes with every relationship, feeling as if you couldve done better. anyway, im still in shock but i just wanted to rant because they are always in my mind. i love you
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my ex best friend got taken by cancer today. ill never forget them. even though they werent part of my life anymore, they were still more a friend ive had in my entire life, someone i never felt that type of closeness with. we shared the same experiences and were so relatable and had the same interests, thats the main reason we clicked. i remember meeting them in year 8 in science and they introduced me to bts right there and then. when i got home, i was instantly hooked, we shared memes and an interest which bought us closer together as friends. it was like a warm hug, to be understood and share ideas with someone who actually cares. im ashamed of not trying to stay in contact more and letting my emotions get the most of me and the immaturity. i realise that this comes with every relationship, feeling as if you couldve done better. anyway, im still in shock but i just wanted to rant because they are always in my mind. i love you
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Tom
I was 50 years old when I lost both my parents within 6 months. They both went suddenly and after the second parent died we, the remaining four children, quickly sold the house. It took me several years to realize that I had not grieved the loss of the house we all grew up in. I did not think a thing was worth grieving, especially when two humans were gone, but years later I realized and admitted to myself that the house was, in reality, another death, a broken and lost relationship. I tried to cover this loss with my mind/intellect but my heart would not follow the logic. At about seven years after selling the house I intentionally took and take time to grieve the loss. Still working through it but it feels necessary. I take time to let myself feel/face the sadness and while it has resurrected the grief of loosing my parents, it also brings a feeling of rest.
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I was 50 years old when I lost both my parents within 6 months. They both went suddenly and after the second parent died we, the remaining four children, quickly sold the house. It took me several years to realize that I had not grieved the loss of the house we all grew up in. I did not think a thing was worth grieving, especially when two humans were gone, but years later I realized and admitted to myself that the house was, in reality, another death, a broken and lost relationship. I tried to cover this loss with my mind/intellect but my heart would not follow the logic. At about seven years after selling the house I intentionally took and take time to grieve the loss. Still working through it but it feels necessary. I take time to let myself feel/face the sadness and while it has resurrected the grief of loosing my parents, it also brings a feeling of rest.
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Anka
For some reason, I have always skipped to the acceptance stage in grieving times. I mean, my aunt's husband passed away due to cancer this morning. And, I just accepted it. You might think that I don't care, but I really do! It's just that I look things differently and it affects my every day life, and that includes grieving too. I'm actually still really sad about it and I don't really want to do anything anymore. But I know death is an important part of life that should NOT be denied. All of us will eventually die someday. But that doesn't mean we are gone. Our memories still live in our loved ones. And, I don't know about you, but I think it's just our body that dies, and our soul still lives.
A body is temporary, but soul and memories are forever.
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For some reason, I have always skipped to the acceptance stage in grieving times. I mean, my aunt's husband passed away due to cancer this morning. And, I just accepted it. You might think that I don't care, but I really do! It's just that I look things differently and it affects my every day life, and that includes grieving too. I'm actually still really sad about it and I don't really want to do anything anymore. But I know death is an important part of life that should NOT be denied. All of us will eventually die someday. But that doesn't mean we are gone. Our memories still live in our loved ones. And, I don't know about you, but I think it's just our body that dies, and our soul still lives.
A body is temporary, but soul and memories are forever.
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psych2go
These comments make me feel like I shouldntve laughed about my own grief.
Someone I looked up to a lot died and like usual I think my brain auto bottled it up without me realizing, either that or it hadnt sunk in yet and both happens a lot so who knows.
One night at the end of the week I went to the bathroom to do my business and you know how your mind goes blank when you use the bathroom?
Im a busy person so that was the first time that week I had a blank mind moment and then everything came rushing into my mind at once. I had a breakdown on the toilet.
Im a goofy person but this time the goofy moment found me. :)
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These comments make me feel like I shouldntve laughed about my own grief.
Someone I looked up to a lot died and like usual I think my brain auto bottled it up without me realizing, either that or it hadnt sunk in yet and both happens a lot so who knows.
One night at the end of the week I went to the bathroom to do my business and you know how your mind goes blank when you use the bathroom?
Im a busy person so that was the first time that week I had a blank mind moment and then everything came rushing into my mind at once. I had a breakdown on the toilet.
Im a goofy person but this time the goofy moment found me. :)
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ry491
Two years ago yesterday I lost my beautiful wife Janet. We eere together 56 years. She was my whole world. The one person who stood by me and never once let me down. I grieve 24/7 just as much as day one. I cannot face never seeing her and holding her again. I feel my life has already ended. The pain I feel is beyond bearing. I send my love and understanding to all here who are suffering loss.
My darling Janet, wait fir me and when my time comes, take my hand as you did in life and kead me to eternity together again never to be parted. I love you x
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Two years ago yesterday I lost my beautiful wife Janet. We eere together 56 years. She was my whole world. The one person who stood by me and never once let me down. I grieve 24/7 just as much as day one. I cannot face never seeing her and holding her again. I feel my life has already ended. The pain I feel is beyond bearing. I send my love and understanding to all here who are suffering loss.
My darling Janet, wait fir me and when my time comes, take my hand as you did in life and kead me to eternity together again never to be parted. I love you x
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Maria
My mom died just 2 days ago, I never felt so much pain, everything reminds me of her, but I'm still afraid of forgetting her, remembering her is like trying to remember a movie you watched as kid, and that's all I have of her, I can't believe I'll never see her again, or make her laugh, or tell her about my day, it feels like she's in a trip and she's coming back in a few days, but she's never coming back, I'm going to live the rest of my life without her, I just want her to hug me and tell me things are going to be okay.
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My mom died just 2 days ago, I never felt so much pain, everything reminds me of her, but I'm still afraid of forgetting her, remembering her is like trying to remember a movie you watched as kid, and that's all I have of her, I can't believe I'll never see her again, or make her laugh, or tell her about my day, it feels like she's in a trip and she's coming back in a few days, but she's never coming back, I'm going to live the rest of my life without her, I just want her to hug me and tell me things are going to be okay.
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Yvonne
I totally agree with what you've said! And I didn't realize until earlier this year that grief can happen because of an important loss not necessarily because someone passed away! I had to figure that out for myself because of how I was feeling a month ago suddenly and then I noticed that same feeling comes in waves. it comes and goes away for weeks at a time then revisits when something triggers my grief of loss and big changes that has happened in my life espec after retirement! Thank you!
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I totally agree with what you've said! And I didn't realize until earlier this year that grief can happen because of an important loss not necessarily because someone passed away! I had to figure that out for myself because of how I was feeling a month ago suddenly and then I noticed that same feeling comes in waves. it comes and goes away for weeks at a time then revisits when something triggers my grief of loss and big changes that has happened in my life espec after retirement! Thank you!
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education
My dog I had for 9 years passed away today, we were having house renovations and she escaped and decided to chase something across the road. And while She was doing that doing so a person was speeding and sadly hit her. When she was found she had no open wounds and I am so grateful she passed so quickly it was almost instantaneous. I feel so horrible I did not stop her and I wish it could have been avoided. I love you fluffy I'm so sorry
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My dog I had for 9 years passed away today, we were having house renovations and she escaped and decided to chase something across the road. And while She was doing that doing so a person was speeding and sadly hit her. When she was found she had no open wounds and I am so grateful she passed so quickly it was almost instantaneous. I feel so horrible I did not stop her and I wish it could have been avoided. I love you fluffy I'm so sorry
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Gammy
There are different types of grief. My youngest child moved from our house, 22 hrs away. More with stops. My brain changed in grief from her leaving and parenting stopping at the same time. I reconnected with friends. Told them how I need their help. I forgave relationships that had caused hurt. My other kids were constantly in contact with me. I healed in record time. A week. I am better for the suffering than before
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There are different types of grief. My youngest child moved from our house, 22 hrs away. More with stops. My brain changed in grief from her leaving and parenting stopping at the same time. I reconnected with friends. Told them how I need their help. I forgave relationships that had caused hurt. My other kids were constantly in contact with me. I healed in record time. A week. I am better for the suffering than before
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Mels
Its been 2 years and i still cry for my dad. i feel guilty for only getting my life together now and trying to succeed and be happy after my parenfs are gone i feel guilt that they dont see my wins now. I cant take care of them financially now or do fun holidays etc. This guilt is actually blocking me from fully having things work for me like finding a good paying job, its as though my guilt is blocking success
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Its been 2 years and i still cry for my dad. i feel guilty for only getting my life together now and trying to succeed and be happy after my parenfs are gone i feel guilt that they dont see my wins now. I cant take care of them financially now or do fun holidays etc. This guilt is actually blocking me from fully having things work for me like finding a good paying job, its as though my guilt is blocking success
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Rayla
I lost my great grandma back in may. Im still grieving about the loss. I try hiding my pain and sadness behind a smile. And the day of her funeral a friend of mine decided to tell me how he wanted to die and no one would miss him which hurt. I no longer talk to him. I hope everyone who is grieving tho to be careful and dont do what Ive been doing and hurting yourself. Its a bad habit thats hard to get out of.
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I lost my great grandma back in may. Im still grieving about the loss. I try hiding my pain and sadness behind a smile. And the day of her funeral a friend of mine decided to tell me how he wanted to die and no one would miss him which hurt. I no longer talk to him. I hope everyone who is grieving tho to be careful and dont do what Ive been doing and hurting yourself. Its a bad habit thats hard to get out of.
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Jennie
I just lost my best friend & I haven't been the same since. Her & I were friends for 38 years we were almost like sister's. Then shortly after she died I wound up having a Cancer recurrence. I had breast Cancer & I had two mastectomies. And this has been a difficult recovery. I believe my health physically was effected when my best friend died. Because I didn't have breast Cancer before she had died.
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I just lost my best friend & I haven't been the same since. Her & I were friends for 38 years we were almost like sister's. Then shortly after she died I wound up having a Cancer recurrence. I had breast Cancer & I had two mastectomies. And this has been a difficult recovery. I believe my health physically was effected when my best friend died. Because I didn't have breast Cancer before she had died.
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Joe
One of my friends was murdered a year ago and I never healed right from it and now my grandma is in hospice with terminal lung cancer and I cant stop thinking about the afterlife and why were hear. I did bargain with the lord and I promised myself if cancer ever took form as a being I would make it my life to murder it in a horrible way. I know it sounds rough but cancer always takes the best people.
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One of my friends was murdered a year ago and I never healed right from it and now my grandma is in hospice with terminal lung cancer and I cant stop thinking about the afterlife and why were hear. I did bargain with the lord and I promised myself if cancer ever took form as a being I would make it my life to murder it in a horrible way. I know it sounds rough but cancer always takes the best people.
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What. The. H0nk
My sister took her life almost 2 months ago and I really dont know how to act. Everyone and everything feels weird but this gives me a sense of security. That Im not alone and people feel exactly the way I feel. Maybe not in the same situations but we still hurt the same or similar. I feel like Im doing it wrong or Im missing something and I hope I can feel like not all is gone again
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My sister took her life almost 2 months ago and I really dont know how to act. Everyone and everything feels weird but this gives me a sense of security. That Im not alone and people feel exactly the way I feel. Maybe not in the same situations but we still hurt the same or similar. I feel like Im doing it wrong or Im missing something and I hope I can feel like not all is gone again
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Amy
Im so sad right now. I lost my cat just a few days ago and I am heartbroken. He died so young- he was just 8 and a half years old. He had two growths in his abdomen- one on his stomach and one on his lung. His lungs filled with fluid and he could hardly breathe. We had him euthanized and I feel so guilty that I didnt notice sooner.
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Im so sad right now. I lost my cat just a few days ago and I am heartbroken. He died so young- he was just 8 and a half years old. He had two growths in his abdomen- one on his stomach and one on his lung. His lungs filled with fluid and he could hardly breathe. We had him euthanized and I feel so guilty that I didnt notice sooner.
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Banana
I am in theater in the summer, and my best friend there turns 18 next month which is the age limit in the program i am in. I am a a few years younger than her, so i will be alone for the next 4 summers, and shes moving away to NYC to continue in theater and I will most likely never see her again. 2 days ago was closing night.
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I am in theater in the summer, and my best friend there turns 18 next month which is the age limit in the program i am in. I am a a few years younger than her, so i will be alone for the next 4 summers, and shes moving away to NYC to continue in theater and I will most likely never see her again. 2 days ago was closing night.
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Sharon
What an awesome video! Ive lost many people and have learned how to grieve as Ive grown older. Youre right, some things we grieve forever, and we shouldnt be afraid to do so. Its healthy to be in touch with those emotions. Again thanks for this videoits very informative and important.
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What an awesome video! Ive lost many people and have learned how to grieve as Ive grown older. Youre right, some things we grieve forever, and we shouldnt be afraid to do so. Its healthy to be in touch with those emotions. Again thanks for this videoits very informative and important.
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Cat
Today i lost my little brother (my cat) he was 20 years old. He had a great life and wasnt just a cat he was family not only has part of my family died but also part of my childhood, i had him since i was 6 and he was the only thing left from my childhood. R. I. P little brother.
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Today i lost my little brother (my cat) he was 20 years old. He had a great life and wasnt just a cat he was family not only has part of my family died but also part of my childhood, i had him since i was 6 and he was the only thing left from my childhood. R. I. P little brother.
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Id
My parents died within 5 Yrs of each other. My cat died within that 5 yrs too. After my mom died I finally adopted another cat. Nothing and no one can replace a lost loved one or a beloved pet. All creatures of God are unique. I love my new cat.
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My parents died within 5 Yrs of each other. My cat died within that 5 yrs too. After my mom died I finally adopted another cat. Nothing and no one can replace a lost loved one or a beloved pet. All creatures of God are unique. I love my new cat.
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rydndrtyllama
You gotta get over it or you gotta push it aside push through it or you had six months shouldnt you be over it by now? Or theyre no longer hurting anymore. Or theyre in a better place. So many cliches that hurt worse than the death.
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You gotta get over it or you gotta push it aside push through it or you had six months shouldnt you be over it by now? Or theyre no longer hurting anymore. Or theyre in a better place. So many cliches that hurt worse than the death.
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VSprout
I lost my papa to cancer recently. He was like a father to me and everything feels so empty without him and I don't think it's hit my gran yet, the funeral is soon and I don't know how we will ever learn to live without him
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I lost my papa to cancer recently. He was like a father to me and everything feels so empty without him and I don't think it's hit my gran yet, the funeral is soon and I don't know how we will ever learn to live without him
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Arlene
After two months passed since my Mother died, I have finally been having dreams with her at home. I cherish these strange dreams. It feels as if we were actually together for a little while. I hope the dreams keep coming.
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After two months passed since my Mother died, I have finally been having dreams with her at home. I cherish these strange dreams. It feels as if we were actually together for a little while. I hope the dreams keep coming.
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Tule
good video.
PLUS you may have to work to survive and nobody at all is supportive and understanding. As a matter of fact sometimes even more bad things pile on like homelessness or other losses and traumas.
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good video.
PLUS you may have to work to survive and nobody at all is supportive and understanding. As a matter of fact sometimes even more bad things pile on like homelessness or other losses and traumas.
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