6 Signs You're Not Crazy, It's Your Upbringing
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Fractim
Even if Im a year late, thank you for making this video, all the videos you have made, and all the videos you people continue to make.
Ive been struggling a lot lately, and I think my parents are at the root of the problems. I cant really do anything without them having to know about it. if I want privacy, Im forced to lie and put myself in danger of them taking away communication with others online, forms of entertainment, and now as Ive found out the hard way, art, which is the best tool Ive ever had for expression. My only tool really.
Most of my childhood memories seem kinda blurry, but I remember general things, and some bad events. Some of those memories have become twisted and wrong; just not right. Ill try to convey some events from my childhood.
Up until I was somewhere between seven and nine my parents spanked me. I dont remember what constituted spanking, but I remember having small meltdowns in public, and my mom taking me to the car and just smacking the hell out of me. I remember having a strange overwhelming fear of public bathrooms for some reason. I dont know, kids are weird. To help me over this fear, my parents would take me to public bathrooms, put me in a stall, and not let me leave until I flushed the toilet. If I didnt flush the toilet, I think I was grabbed and forced closer to it until I was pressed up against it, and my hand was forced onto the lever and made to flush. I was not allowed to cover my ears, if I did, we had to flush it again. I remember screaming, crying, lots of spanking. I dont remember how long I was intermittently taken to bathrooms like this, but it was anywhere between a few months and a year. The only reason I was able to get over this fear was because I learned how to force myself to hear less without covering my ears. I dont know how it works, just that it feels like squeezing and blocks out a good amount of noise. I can still do it today.
Some rapid fire more blurry memories: I remember saying something to my mom, I dont remember what, and then I remember my dad screaming at me, probably drunk, YOU DONT TALK TO MY WIFE THAT WAY! : I remember my dad saying something along the lines of kids not really being people until they are an adult, I dont remember the context for it though. I think theres more of these blurry ones, but I cant remember them right now.
One of the twisted wrong memories I have involves being spanked. I dont think this memory is real, and instead was a fear or dream that my brain somehow recorded as a memory. I was in a room. I dont recognize the room now, but I think it was in one of our old houses. My dad opened the door and marched towards me. Something in his expression just told me to run, so I tried to, but he picked me up by my legs, held my upside down, and spanked me.
Another wrong memory I have, this one kinda feels like parts of it are true, but its very weird and distorted: I was playing with a friend, when I did something bad. I dont remember what it was. My mom got a wooden spoon and spanked me and my friend. (something to note, my mom has babysat for kids since she was a teenager. I am absolutely and entirely positive that she would never spank someone elses kid) somehow, when she hit us, it like she was hitting both of us at the same time. When we thought she was done, we looked at each other and giggled, its the only time I remember laughing in the face of punishment. I saw my moms face change, she tried again, but nothing really changed. With someone by my side, I was able to more easily bear it. This friend who was taking the punishment with me, I dont remember a single thing about him. Not his face, when I think of it I just get a blurry blank face, not his hair, maybe not his gender. when I say he, thats just the first thing that comes to mind when I think of him, and not his name. As far as I know, hes not even real. On the bright side, thats the last time I remember being spanked. Im sure there were a few other times, but my parents decided to change tactics not long after.
Theres more that I can remember more clearly more recently, but this hecking essay of a message has gone on long enough, so Ill end it here. If somebody asks, Ill provide more info, but I dont expect anyone to read this far.
reply
Even if Im a year late, thank you for making this video, all the videos you have made, and all the videos you people continue to make.
Ive been struggling a lot lately, and I think my parents are at the root of the problems. I cant really do anything without them having to know about it. if I want privacy, Im forced to lie and put myself in danger of them taking away communication with others online, forms of entertainment, and now as Ive found out the hard way, art, which is the best tool Ive ever had for expression. My only tool really.
Most of my childhood memories seem kinda blurry, but I remember general things, and some bad events. Some of those memories have become twisted and wrong; just not right. Ill try to convey some events from my childhood.
Up until I was somewhere between seven and nine my parents spanked me. I dont remember what constituted spanking, but I remember having small meltdowns in public, and my mom taking me to the car and just smacking the hell out of me. I remember having a strange overwhelming fear of public bathrooms for some reason. I dont know, kids are weird. To help me over this fear, my parents would take me to public bathrooms, put me in a stall, and not let me leave until I flushed the toilet. If I didnt flush the toilet, I think I was grabbed and forced closer to it until I was pressed up against it, and my hand was forced onto the lever and made to flush. I was not allowed to cover my ears, if I did, we had to flush it again. I remember screaming, crying, lots of spanking. I dont remember how long I was intermittently taken to bathrooms like this, but it was anywhere between a few months and a year. The only reason I was able to get over this fear was because I learned how to force myself to hear less without covering my ears. I dont know how it works, just that it feels like squeezing and blocks out a good amount of noise. I can still do it today.
Some rapid fire more blurry memories: I remember saying something to my mom, I dont remember what, and then I remember my dad screaming at me, probably drunk, YOU DONT TALK TO MY WIFE THAT WAY! : I remember my dad saying something along the lines of kids not really being people until they are an adult, I dont remember the context for it though. I think theres more of these blurry ones, but I cant remember them right now.
One of the twisted wrong memories I have involves being spanked. I dont think this memory is real, and instead was a fear or dream that my brain somehow recorded as a memory. I was in a room. I dont recognize the room now, but I think it was in one of our old houses. My dad opened the door and marched towards me. Something in his expression just told me to run, so I tried to, but he picked me up by my legs, held my upside down, and spanked me.
Another wrong memory I have, this one kinda feels like parts of it are true, but its very weird and distorted: I was playing with a friend, when I did something bad. I dont remember what it was. My mom got a wooden spoon and spanked me and my friend. (something to note, my mom has babysat for kids since she was a teenager. I am absolutely and entirely positive that she would never spank someone elses kid) somehow, when she hit us, it like she was hitting both of us at the same time. When we thought she was done, we looked at each other and giggled, its the only time I remember laughing in the face of punishment. I saw my moms face change, she tried again, but nothing really changed. With someone by my side, I was able to more easily bear it. This friend who was taking the punishment with me, I dont remember a single thing about him. Not his face, when I think of it I just get a blurry blank face, not his hair, maybe not his gender. when I say he, thats just the first thing that comes to mind when I think of him, and not his name. As far as I know, hes not even real. On the bright side, thats the last time I remember being spanked. Im sure there were a few other times, but my parents decided to change tactics not long after.
Theres more that I can remember more clearly more recently, but this hecking essay of a message has gone on long enough, so Ill end it here. If somebody asks, Ill provide more info, but I dont expect anyone to read this far.
reply
segarrajams
My parents gave unconditional love, My mom doesnt guilt trip me, I guilt trip myself. Truth is, I am not like my family, the only boy of 6 children and my father passed when I was 14. I had to learn to be a man on my own and my mother and sisters have no idea about what its like to be a male in society, they dont realize that society requires more of men in order to have a productive and successful life. Women have no shortage of potential partners to choose from and men have to become worthy of the woman he wants or settle for an unattractive or unintelligent female and then a man has to be cautious that his attractive female isnt looking for a sugar daddy. My family has no entrepreneurship inclinations and they think its a bad thing to struggle (as in struggling for your dream) I get no emotional support or encouragement to pursue my passions. I just keep getting weighed down by suggestions of getting a job. They dont care what I want and they think that its a waste of time to learn creative media skills as if its impossible to succeed in the field since they dont know people that do it. They dont care what I do as long as it is not extraordinary. They think that the only way to make a lot of money is to go to school and get a masters in something like a doctor or lawyer. I can feel their energy holding me back from climbing in my endeavors and if it werent enough now I have strangers who want me to fail as well.
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My parents gave unconditional love, My mom doesnt guilt trip me, I guilt trip myself. Truth is, I am not like my family, the only boy of 6 children and my father passed when I was 14. I had to learn to be a man on my own and my mother and sisters have no idea about what its like to be a male in society, they dont realize that society requires more of men in order to have a productive and successful life. Women have no shortage of potential partners to choose from and men have to become worthy of the woman he wants or settle for an unattractive or unintelligent female and then a man has to be cautious that his attractive female isnt looking for a sugar daddy. My family has no entrepreneurship inclinations and they think its a bad thing to struggle (as in struggling for your dream) I get no emotional support or encouragement to pursue my passions. I just keep getting weighed down by suggestions of getting a job. They dont care what I want and they think that its a waste of time to learn creative media skills as if its impossible to succeed in the field since they dont know people that do it. They dont care what I do as long as it is not extraordinary. They think that the only way to make a lot of money is to go to school and get a masters in something like a doctor or lawyer. I can feel their energy holding me back from climbing in my endeavors and if it werent enough now I have strangers who want me to fail as well.
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Zenith_Blade
I was always compared to my sister, her friends, and my brother when it came to sports. I never listened to them because I didnt like the way they were treating me. I had a speech problem. I stuttered sometimes and when I did get a word out, it turned into an outburst. Not intentional at all. I was mostly frustrated with myself and how often I was compared to my peers. All I wanted to be treated equally; no mind games, no downplaying my problems regardless of how minuscule they are, no comparisons, no guilt trips. but of course I was asking for too much because the most embarrassing part about it was forming an external family. I have friends who are like brothers to me, and adults who are like parents. The one father figure I have is still in my life and he did way better than my dad ever did when it came to engagement, positive reinforcement and such. My grandparents did that so Im lucky that I had them to balance out the bad parenting. Unfortunately it just wasnt enough for me because I couldnt accept and let go of how I was treated.
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I was always compared to my sister, her friends, and my brother when it came to sports. I never listened to them because I didnt like the way they were treating me. I had a speech problem. I stuttered sometimes and when I did get a word out, it turned into an outburst. Not intentional at all. I was mostly frustrated with myself and how often I was compared to my peers. All I wanted to be treated equally; no mind games, no downplaying my problems regardless of how minuscule they are, no comparisons, no guilt trips. but of course I was asking for too much because the most embarrassing part about it was forming an external family. I have friends who are like brothers to me, and adults who are like parents. The one father figure I have is still in my life and he did way better than my dad ever did when it came to engagement, positive reinforcement and such. My grandparents did that so Im lucky that I had them to balance out the bad parenting. Unfortunately it just wasnt enough for me because I couldnt accept and let go of how I was treated.
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JoJoPoetic
I relate to everything mentioned, but I dont have self esteem issues. The scariest part is watching my parent watching videos or doing research that are made to help (like this one for ex: ) but use them in opposite to tear their kid (s) down. (Damn if u do, damn if ya dont) not everybody has parents like mine and Im happy about that. I had already been betrayed before the time I could interact yet I had my vision and my ears. I was betrayed by my parents and gathered pretty quickly that they are not for me. The mental, physical and emotional abuse the narc abuse theyve tried everything to tear me down. All because I was born and was innocent. I had people lie on me & about me & put their insecurities off on me. I internalized it as, well thats how they feel/want me to feel about myself and I never will. Im able to easily spot out people who mean me no well yet I still feel broken how can I break the cycle of attracting the same people? It shows up everywhere.
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I relate to everything mentioned, but I dont have self esteem issues. The scariest part is watching my parent watching videos or doing research that are made to help (like this one for ex: ) but use them in opposite to tear their kid (s) down. (Damn if u do, damn if ya dont) not everybody has parents like mine and Im happy about that. I had already been betrayed before the time I could interact yet I had my vision and my ears. I was betrayed by my parents and gathered pretty quickly that they are not for me. The mental, physical and emotional abuse the narc abuse theyve tried everything to tear me down. All because I was born and was innocent. I had people lie on me & about me & put their insecurities off on me. I internalized it as, well thats how they feel/want me to feel about myself and I never will. Im able to easily spot out people who mean me no well yet I still feel broken how can I break the cycle of attracting the same people? It shows up everywhere.
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the
Seeing how old this is I doubt many people will see this, but a lot of this struck pretty close to home. I was and still am kinda scared of my parents. I remember this one time I got screamed at by my mom because I flipped passed the page I was supposed to be on in my textbook. My dad has been randomly aggressive and nearly violent because he didn't like the tone of someones voice.
I always felt like a screw-up that no one loved and even though I have many friends and family that say they would do anything for me. I find myself not believing them and isolating myself.
You shouldn't have to fight for your parents love and you shouldn't have to feel afraid of your parents
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Seeing how old this is I doubt many people will see this, but a lot of this struck pretty close to home. I was and still am kinda scared of my parents. I remember this one time I got screamed at by my mom because I flipped passed the page I was supposed to be on in my textbook. My dad has been randomly aggressive and nearly violent because he didn't like the tone of someones voice.
I always felt like a screw-up that no one loved and even though I have many friends and family that say they would do anything for me. I find myself not believing them and isolating myself.
You shouldn't have to fight for your parents love and you shouldn't have to feel afraid of your parents
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Boi
My parents provide conditional love
When I succeed in something they tell me I did a good job
When I do something bad they yell and hurt me verbally
When I try and to impress my parents they laugh at me
When I try to tell them that their doing something wrong they tell my Im ignorant and I dont know how the world is
My parents arent aware of my possible mental disorders because they dont listen
My parents are christen and expect me to be christen just like them
They wont try support my interest and when I ask them why they say
Youll thank me later.
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My parents provide conditional love
When I succeed in something they tell me I did a good job
When I do something bad they yell and hurt me verbally
When I try and to impress my parents they laugh at me
When I try to tell them that their doing something wrong they tell my Im ignorant and I dont know how the world is
My parents arent aware of my possible mental disorders because they dont listen
My parents are christen and expect me to be christen just like them
They wont try support my interest and when I ask them why they say
Youll thank me later.
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Psych2Go
We all grow and experience different life experiences. Sometimes, we experience things that we don't understand why it happened to us. Do you have any stories you want to share about your upbringing that may affected you as a person to this day?
Disclaimer: This video isn't made to blame anyone, but to help us understand why we are the way we are. If you're struggling, please seek professionals help in your local area or talk to a trusted friend/family member.
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We all grow and experience different life experiences. Sometimes, we experience things that we don't understand why it happened to us. Do you have any stories you want to share about your upbringing that may affected you as a person to this day?
Disclaimer: This video isn't made to blame anyone, but to help us understand why we are the way we are. If you're struggling, please seek professionals help in your local area or talk to a trusted friend/family member.
reply
education
I feel like im actually going insane
like im feeling extreme fatigue, Memory loss, Anxiety, Hallucinations, Delusions and whenever someone's asking some kinda ques to me or tryna make a convo i donno how to respond to their words n i just stare at their face
my health is just getting worse and worse, Im probably going insane
and i also feel some numb shit in my br41n like it aint working anymore smh
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I feel like im actually going insane
like im feeling extreme fatigue, Memory loss, Anxiety, Hallucinations, Delusions and whenever someone's asking some kinda ques to me or tryna make a convo i donno how to respond to their words n i just stare at their face
my health is just getting worse and worse, Im probably going insane
and i also feel some numb shit in my br41n like it aint working anymore smh
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education
My mom use to be like that once for several years til now after that she apologized to me for what she did. My dad NEVER apologize to me or my sister just wants play victims in his age and stuff, he was an abuser towards me, my mom, my sister and the rest. This is why I don't deserve to have a fking dad like him, he's nothing but FRAUD. I can't stand him these days.
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My mom use to be like that once for several years til now after that she apologized to me for what she did. My dad NEVER apologize to me or my sister just wants play victims in his age and stuff, he was an abuser towards me, my mom, my sister and the rest. This is why I don't deserve to have a fking dad like him, he's nothing but FRAUD. I can't stand him these days.
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PinkiePie
I'm 20 and I'm suffering mentally from my over controlling parents. I don't care if they're protecting me they have no excuse to act horribly towards me because they never apologize to anything they do that's wrong instead they put the blame on me when they're the wrong ones. Once I leave from them, I will never Ever come back to them
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I'm 20 and I'm suffering mentally from my over controlling parents. I don't care if they're protecting me they have no excuse to act horribly towards me because they never apologize to anything they do that's wrong instead they put the blame on me when they're the wrong ones. Once I leave from them, I will never Ever come back to them
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Lady
The story of my life. I had to earn my mother's love, I had an elder brother to compete with, and later I was invested with big responsibilities. For example: going out with friends: You are SO sensible, so please take care of the others, don'y let them do something wrong! I became a kind of guardian. No surprise other girls hated me!
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The story of my life. I had to earn my mother's love, I had an elder brother to compete with, and later I was invested with big responsibilities. For example: going out with friends: You are SO sensible, so please take care of the others, don'y let them do something wrong! I became a kind of guardian. No surprise other girls hated me!
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Angie
No ones perfect in this world and many parents make mistakes while raising kids. But if they tried their hardest to do what they felt right then you shouldn't EVER turn your back on them! Family is family is family! No one else on earth will be there for you when you really like a parent that loves you and tried to do their best!
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No ones perfect in this world and many parents make mistakes while raising kids. But if they tried their hardest to do what they felt right then you shouldn't EVER turn your back on them! Family is family is family! No one else on earth will be there for you when you really like a parent that loves you and tried to do their best!
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Alex
My mom just told me everything. She would always complain about life and work to me and make me worry about more grown up problems. My dad just made me feel bad about myself. I told him how I did on a mile run once, he first asked me what everyone else got, then told me I was slow and could get it down if I just practiced.
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My mom just told me everything. She would always complain about life and work to me and make me worry about more grown up problems. My dad just made me feel bad about myself. I told him how I did on a mile run once, he first asked me what everyone else got, then told me I was slow and could get it down if I just practiced.
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Btsarmyyyy
Does anybody feels like theyre going crazy.
And get scared of them selves!
Like small negative things people say can irritate your trauma alot
But good and positive words donot have such a big impact on you it just feels like nobody truely understands you.
I just wanna know if this would ever heal
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Does anybody feels like theyre going crazy.
And get scared of them selves!
Like small negative things people say can irritate your trauma alot
But good and positive words donot have such a big impact on you it just feels like nobody truely understands you.
I just wanna know if this would ever heal
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Bees
Why does everyone make living life look so easy? Why does everyone around me do it so well? Why does it seem like I'm held back by a ball and chain? Why is everyone strutting forwards while I'm stuck behind pulling on this ball and chain, moving forwards so slowly?
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Why does everyone make living life look so easy? Why does everyone around me do it so well? Why does it seem like I'm held back by a ball and chain? Why is everyone strutting forwards while I'm stuck behind pulling on this ball and chain, moving forwards so slowly?
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Drawing
I was adopted by my great aunt and lied too my whole child life about who my mother n family was. My aunt did all of this and my real mother and family members are no different. Now I don't talk to anyone at all and it's hard to make a connection with anybody.
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I was adopted by my great aunt and lied too my whole child life about who my mother n family was. My aunt did all of this and my real mother and family members are no different. Now I don't talk to anyone at all and it's hard to make a connection with anybody.
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Sourabh
so what, we all have different stories, but that shouldn't affect us in our social/public life, because if it does, that everyone has its reason, their trauma, nowadays it has become like a trend to tell, that sorry for my behaviour, its just because of my past!
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so what, we all have different stories, but that shouldn't affect us in our social/public life, because if it does, that everyone has its reason, their trauma, nowadays it has become like a trend to tell, that sorry for my behaviour, its just because of my past!
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Cat_broken
I can relate to some things on this video I guess I was guilt-triped as a child I just don't remember it and I know exactly who was my older sister she's toxic an abusive and manipulative so that makes sense judging on my older sister I have so much trauma
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I can relate to some things on this video I guess I was guilt-triped as a child I just don't remember it and I know exactly who was my older sister she's toxic an abusive and manipulative so that makes sense judging on my older sister I have so much trauma
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Jamie
I know I'm not crazy. But, I have issues with trusting others. I do let others take advantage of me. I have pretty good parents. The only thing was Dad left us when I was still a baby. The others was pretty well grown. I think it effected me the most.
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I know I'm not crazy. But, I have issues with trusting others. I do let others take advantage of me. I have pretty good parents. The only thing was Dad left us when I was still a baby. The others was pretty well grown. I think it effected me the most.
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that
Dear phyc2go
What my mom does when I dont want to go to out with my family or when I want to stay home, she makes everyone stay home saying well. I guess no one is going then.
What is this phyc2go? I know its not good tho
Thanks from America
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Dear phyc2go
What my mom does when I dont want to go to out with my family or when I want to stay home, she makes everyone stay home saying well. I guess no one is going then.
What is this phyc2go? I know its not good tho
Thanks from America
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Cassie
umm I don't think I can relate to these that much but I feel like I'm going crazy cus idk I forget things super easily like right after I think of something that I have to do and I go there and I forget easily of what I have to do other thIngs too
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umm I don't think I can relate to these that much but I feel like I'm going crazy cus idk I forget things super easily like right after I think of something that I have to do and I go there and I forget easily of what I have to do other thIngs too
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King
I wish I wouldve realized this when I was very young, I had no idea of narcissists or gaslighting or of popular false beliefs. Now that I know all this I actually hear what they are saying and is very destructive, no wonder my life fell apart.
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I wish I wouldve realized this when I was very young, I had no idea of narcissists or gaslighting or of popular false beliefs. Now that I know all this I actually hear what they are saying and is very destructive, no wonder my life fell apart.
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Vio
Did 4 connect to you?
Me: flash backs yeah. sadly but not my parents. my grandma. she always compares me and my siblings to my dad and tita. we had to stay with grandma for 1 year and a half. :) im happy to know im not crazy
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Did 4 connect to you?
Me: flash backs yeah. sadly but not my parents. my grandma. she always compares me and my siblings to my dad and tita. we had to stay with grandma for 1 year and a half. :) im happy to know im not crazy
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Rob
I come from a narcissistic family system and it feels like it has set me back in life, but I think knowing is half the battle. I experienced all of these things in the video, and feel quite validated. Thanks Psych2Go
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I come from a narcissistic family system and it feels like it has set me back in life, but I think knowing is half the battle. I experienced all of these things in the video, and feel quite validated. Thanks Psych2Go
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education
Trying to help my sister. her children are experiencing the toxic parenting our dad used to share with us. I can't let it continue. It is hurting her children the way I saw our dad hurt her.
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Trying to help my sister. her children are experiencing the toxic parenting our dad used to share with us. I can't let it continue. It is hurting her children the way I saw our dad hurt her.
reply
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