7 Toxic Things Parents Do To Their Child
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Diane
Oh boy this is definitely true. Especially the controlling and downplaying achievements. Don't get me wrong most of us love our parents. However, when they do toxic things like in this video, the relationship suffers. I'm dealing with this right now. I recently started working in a new career, where I am happy. However, my parents keep trying to persuade me and pressure me into still working for them (they own their own business, which is fire sprinklers meaning inspection, testing, and maintenance of systems. Understand I worked for the family business for years, but I was absolutely miserable and I was very vocal about the fact, I didn't like the job. It's not that I don't appreciate it or wasn't grateful. It's the fact like I feel they don't think I'm going to be successful at my new job (I'm a sign language interpreter. I get it they are scared cause the start of getting work has been slow going but it's picking up now. My issue is they don't say to my brother hey you know you can still work for us right, like every week or few days. So between that and them also, not totally understanding I'm in chronic pain all the time. It's been rough. My mom thinks I should just suck it up and deal. She also, thinks I shouldn't be taking any medication. She literally said to me are you sure your doctors aren't giving you conflicting meds? Due to some of the side effects they had. I was like yes I'm sure and I wouldn't be taking the meds if they weren't necessary for me to function. But none of my parents actions surprise me anymore since I grew up with their suck it up and deal with it mentality. My mom literally didn't believe me the first time my knee dislocated many many years ago. So her comments toward my medical stuff now doesn't surprise me. Just like my dad and mom continuing to tell me I can still work for them doesn't surprise me either. Unfortunately we can't choose who our parents are.
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Oh boy this is definitely true. Especially the controlling and downplaying achievements. Don't get me wrong most of us love our parents. However, when they do toxic things like in this video, the relationship suffers. I'm dealing with this right now. I recently started working in a new career, where I am happy. However, my parents keep trying to persuade me and pressure me into still working for them (they own their own business, which is fire sprinklers meaning inspection, testing, and maintenance of systems. Understand I worked for the family business for years, but I was absolutely miserable and I was very vocal about the fact, I didn't like the job. It's not that I don't appreciate it or wasn't grateful. It's the fact like I feel they don't think I'm going to be successful at my new job (I'm a sign language interpreter. I get it they are scared cause the start of getting work has been slow going but it's picking up now. My issue is they don't say to my brother hey you know you can still work for us right, like every week or few days. So between that and them also, not totally understanding I'm in chronic pain all the time. It's been rough. My mom thinks I should just suck it up and deal. She also, thinks I shouldn't be taking any medication. She literally said to me are you sure your doctors aren't giving you conflicting meds? Due to some of the side effects they had. I was like yes I'm sure and I wouldn't be taking the meds if they weren't necessary for me to function. But none of my parents actions surprise me anymore since I grew up with their suck it up and deal with it mentality. My mom literally didn't believe me the first time my knee dislocated many many years ago. So her comments toward my medical stuff now doesn't surprise me. Just like my dad and mom continuing to tell me I can still work for them doesn't surprise me either. Unfortunately we can't choose who our parents are.
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Imahallucination
One day When I was very young like 5-6 I twisted my ankle at a playground and my mom came running to help me. As I saw her I hope a kind reassuring voice would come but no. Instead I herd myself being yielded and scolded with KIND words. ARE YOU OK? WHY DID YOU FALL! mom was mad at me for getting hurt and crying. Stop crying you know mommy loves you! you are embracing me right know. She whispered. Will a ice cream make you feel better? We can get one! I didnt want a ice cream, the idea made me feel sick. But the only thing I could say over my sharp gasps was no! Good mommy didnt want one anyway. And before I could pick myself up with her help I was startled by her sudden yell. WERE GOING HOME RIGHT NOW! Her whole mood went from slightly irritated to a pissed off mother as if I smashed something of hers onto the floor. She gripped onto my hand as I stumbled behind her walking home. All I could think is how different it would be if dad was the one to help me. He was the one to suggest me and mom to go to the park. But if he was there he would make sure Mom didnt yell at me right? Right!
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One day When I was very young like 5-6 I twisted my ankle at a playground and my mom came running to help me. As I saw her I hope a kind reassuring voice would come but no. Instead I herd myself being yielded and scolded with KIND words. ARE YOU OK? WHY DID YOU FALL! mom was mad at me for getting hurt and crying. Stop crying you know mommy loves you! you are embracing me right know. She whispered. Will a ice cream make you feel better? We can get one! I didnt want a ice cream, the idea made me feel sick. But the only thing I could say over my sharp gasps was no! Good mommy didnt want one anyway. And before I could pick myself up with her help I was startled by her sudden yell. WERE GOING HOME RIGHT NOW! Her whole mood went from slightly irritated to a pissed off mother as if I smashed something of hers onto the floor. She gripped onto my hand as I stumbled behind her walking home. All I could think is how different it would be if dad was the one to help me. He was the one to suggest me and mom to go to the park. But if he was there he would make sure Mom didnt yell at me right? Right!
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Andrea: 3
So I just watched toxic Mathers video and well I had both parents in my life but my dad dont bother much with anything to do related to raising children. My Mather was the main person whom always did all as such most of those points here basically describes how she was to me, I had siblings but usually most of this things was mainly towards me. When I started running away or stood up to her she ended up kicking me out of the house while my father did not listen to how I felt at all and even told me if you cant communicate with mom we cant be in contact. Interestingly enough despite me not being in the house her behaviour changed in some ways for better towards my siblings she still has some of those behaviours towards them. However they got more freedom then I ever did but then again she always favourites them most.
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So I just watched toxic Mathers video and well I had both parents in my life but my dad dont bother much with anything to do related to raising children. My Mather was the main person whom always did all as such most of those points here basically describes how she was to me, I had siblings but usually most of this things was mainly towards me. When I started running away or stood up to her she ended up kicking me out of the house while my father did not listen to how I felt at all and even told me if you cant communicate with mom we cant be in contact. Interestingly enough despite me not being in the house her behaviour changed in some ways for better towards my siblings she still has some of those behaviours towards them. However they got more freedom then I ever did but then again she always favourites them most.
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Diana
02: 10 just the opposite in my case. My mom always expects me to know more than she does, even with formal letters. She asks me how stuff works even tho I should be the one with the question. She has the right to be super emotionally but whenever I get angry she instantly tells me that I shouldnt be so respectful. And whenever Im trying to tell her that shes acting toxic, she instantly goes with the Of course now Im the bad guy here huh! and tells me that I hurt her feelings and she feel super depressed about all the stuff Im saying but then afterwards crying over her bad life.
Im basically the mom.
She knows that she did made mistakes but she dont want to acknowledge that this behavior actually effects me.
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02: 10 just the opposite in my case. My mom always expects me to know more than she does, even with formal letters. She asks me how stuff works even tho I should be the one with the question. She has the right to be super emotionally but whenever I get angry she instantly tells me that I shouldnt be so respectful. And whenever Im trying to tell her that shes acting toxic, she instantly goes with the Of course now Im the bad guy here huh! and tells me that I hurt her feelings and she feel super depressed about all the stuff Im saying but then afterwards crying over her bad life.
Im basically the mom.
She knows that she did made mistakes but she dont want to acknowledge that this behavior actually effects me.
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Psycho
This reminds me a lot about my dad.
He's not here for my family financially, physically nor, emotionally (his job keeps him away but he doesn't call us or pick up our calls, plus he uses the money on selfish things rather than letting us have some for rent, food, and stuff)
He would rather party and be with this other chick while still married to my mom than be with us.
He would also post pictures that I felt uncomfortable/didn't want him to post.
And I can't tell if he loves me or if I'm just there.
I'm sad to feel that I'm glad that I don't know my dad as well as I used too, to the point where I feel closer to his family (my uncles, aunts, cousins, second-cousins, and so forth) than him.
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This reminds me a lot about my dad.
He's not here for my family financially, physically nor, emotionally (his job keeps him away but he doesn't call us or pick up our calls, plus he uses the money on selfish things rather than letting us have some for rent, food, and stuff)
He would rather party and be with this other chick while still married to my mom than be with us.
He would also post pictures that I felt uncomfortable/didn't want him to post.
And I can't tell if he loves me or if I'm just there.
I'm sad to feel that I'm glad that I don't know my dad as well as I used too, to the point where I feel closer to his family (my uncles, aunts, cousins, second-cousins, and so forth) than him.
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Harley
my mom fits some of these traits and honestly it's hurting my mental health.
i want to hug everyone who's going through the same thing, it made me distrust almost all parents because almost everyone i know has or had to deal with an abusive parent. i was hoping parents were more loving like they were supposed to but i guess i was wrong.
i met only a few loving parents out of the terrible sea of terrible parents and i hope you all know that you're not alone, and i wish i can hug you and save you all from these terrible people you're forced to live with. all kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids. stay safe and have a nice day everyone.
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my mom fits some of these traits and honestly it's hurting my mental health.
i want to hug everyone who's going through the same thing, it made me distrust almost all parents because almost everyone i know has or had to deal with an abusive parent. i was hoping parents were more loving like they were supposed to but i guess i was wrong.
i met only a few loving parents out of the terrible sea of terrible parents and i hope you all know that you're not alone, and i wish i can hug you and save you all from these terrible people you're forced to live with. all kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids. stay safe and have a nice day everyone.
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TomboyPlayer93
Numbers 3, 4, and sometimes 5 are the reasons why I realized that my parents weren't good parents. They also displayed racism, and I blindly was imitating them. They're also ignorant to some things, making B. S. up without doing research, irresponsible, don't really care about my mental health, cause they repeat doing the same thing especially my mom and brother.
I just turned 30 last month and I no longer talk to them. I'm not falling into their trap again. I feel dumb for not being able to think for myself for all of these years.
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Numbers 3, 4, and sometimes 5 are the reasons why I realized that my parents weren't good parents. They also displayed racism, and I blindly was imitating them. They're also ignorant to some things, making B. S. up without doing research, irresponsible, don't really care about my mental health, cause they repeat doing the same thing especially my mom and brother.
I just turned 30 last month and I no longer talk to them. I'm not falling into their trap again. I feel dumb for not being able to think for myself for all of these years.
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Ava
I think my parents may be toxic like this in some ways. It's easier to see when I'm really upset, but it's really difficult for me to accept it or completely agree with the idea. I'd like professional help, but my folks freak if they see I'm looking for a job or apartment sometimes. I finally got that apartment but THEY are paying for it while I'm finishing college, they expect me to move home to help on the farm till I find a job in my home state. That's not what I want though. I don't feel safe at home or like I'm allowed to be myself or relax.
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I think my parents may be toxic like this in some ways. It's easier to see when I'm really upset, but it's really difficult for me to accept it or completely agree with the idea. I'd like professional help, but my folks freak if they see I'm looking for a job or apartment sometimes. I finally got that apartment but THEY are paying for it while I'm finishing college, they expect me to move home to help on the farm till I find a job in my home state. That's not what I want though. I don't feel safe at home or like I'm allowed to be myself or relax.
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Omen
It IS really VERY important to remember that people CANNOT be both loving AND toxic at the same time. Toxic people will control every aspect, & treat you like a child because they want to be the centre of your life, & don't want you to outshine them, unless you are the designated Golden Child.
And they know that they need to fake being loving at times, so as to throw you off-balance, & make it easier for them to manipulate into giving up your own hopes & dreams, as well as true friends, to cement their place as the centre of your world.
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It IS really VERY important to remember that people CANNOT be both loving AND toxic at the same time. Toxic people will control every aspect, & treat you like a child because they want to be the centre of your life, & don't want you to outshine them, unless you are the designated Golden Child.
And they know that they need to fake being loving at times, so as to throw you off-balance, & make it easier for them to manipulate into giving up your own hopes & dreams, as well as true friends, to cement their place as the centre of your world.
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psych2go
My parents definitely paid the bills and provided me with a safe home but they failed passed that. No emotional support or encouragement, Constantly insisting I can do better. I'm 36 now with 2 daughters of my own. I do everything exactly the opposite way my mother did and my kids amaze me everyday with how brave and confident they are. They are completely capable of thinking for themselves and making positive choices. All the things my mother deprived me of by forcing her will on me all my childhood.
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My parents definitely paid the bills and provided me with a safe home but they failed passed that. No emotional support or encouragement, Constantly insisting I can do better. I'm 36 now with 2 daughters of my own. I do everything exactly the opposite way my mother did and my kids amaze me everyday with how brave and confident they are. They are completely capable of thinking for themselves and making positive choices. All the things my mother deprived me of by forcing her will on me all my childhood.
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psych2go
could you please do a video on narsasistic abusion? like for example, if your parent is yelling at you and you start to cry, they tell you to stop crying or stop trying to make me feel bad by crying my dad has done stuff like this to me, and my mum, and my friend has a mum like that, and i want to explain narsasistic abusion to them, but i dont know exactly how. another idea is how acting aggressive around your child, but not nesasarily to the child can really damage the child. thanks!
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could you please do a video on narsasistic abusion? like for example, if your parent is yelling at you and you start to cry, they tell you to stop crying or stop trying to make me feel bad by crying my dad has done stuff like this to me, and my mum, and my friend has a mum like that, and i want to explain narsasistic abusion to them, but i dont know exactly how. another idea is how acting aggressive around your child, but not nesasarily to the child can really damage the child. thanks!
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Lori
Whoa! This video made me realize my parents were toxic. Not so much my mother but my father. And thats understandable because his parents were toxic. My father and my grandfather were like oil and water. But surprisingly my grandfather was the source of encouragement and love for me. I remember him telling me all the time how I had everything: smarts, looks and personality. I dont remember my father ever telling me he was proud of me.
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Whoa! This video made me realize my parents were toxic. Not so much my mother but my father. And thats understandable because his parents were toxic. My father and my grandfather were like oil and water. But surprisingly my grandfather was the source of encouragement and love for me. I remember him telling me all the time how I had everything: smarts, looks and personality. I dont remember my father ever telling me he was proud of me.
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Mariam
I'm 14 years old and everyone in my class has a phone except me. My mom always says I got my phone when I was 22 and she said that she will get me a phone when I'm 18. I always ask my mom and dad if I can go out with friends they always say no. When I get an A my mom says why did u not get A+. When I try to impress her she always compares me with friends like she did better or she is better.
Trust me I'm fine
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I'm 14 years old and everyone in my class has a phone except me. My mom always says I got my phone when I was 22 and she said that she will get me a phone when I'm 18. I always ask my mom and dad if I can go out with friends they always say no. When I get an A my mom says why did u not get A+. When I try to impress her she always compares me with friends like she did better or she is better.
Trust me I'm fine
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Kusum
I can relate all of these it's just that about the 3rd point I read social stories on an app that's how I came to knew that what's out side the home still my parents don't discuss any social issues with me but thanks to stories that I understand society and my mother and brother always tell me NOT to read stories but they don't know what the stories are about
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I can relate all of these it's just that about the 3rd point I read social stories on an app that's how I came to knew that what's out side the home still my parents don't discuss any social issues with me but thanks to stories that I understand society and my mother and brother always tell me NOT to read stories but they don't know what the stories are about
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Adria
Yeah, my mom would tell us to not cry while she yelled at us. Them, my dad joked about giving the class valedictorian food ouson so I would graduate first in the class instead of 3rd. Also, when my older sister got an eye brow piercing at age 20, my parents drove 3 hours to her university and told her professors to ask her to get rid of it.
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Yeah, my mom would tell us to not cry while she yelled at us. Them, my dad joked about giving the class valedictorian food ouson so I would graduate first in the class instead of 3rd. Also, when my older sister got an eye brow piercing at age 20, my parents drove 3 hours to her university and told her professors to ask her to get rid of it.
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SP
I completely agree with that my parents aren't emotionally available like they ignore my feelings and just focus on my achievements and if I fail one time like a long time ago they just bring it up and just bring all of my failures, I still feel like crap but I can only rely on my siblings for anything not my parents.
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I completely agree with that my parents aren't emotionally available like they ignore my feelings and just focus on my achievements and if I fail one time like a long time ago they just bring it up and just bring all of my failures, I still feel like crap but I can only rely on my siblings for anything not my parents.
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Your
I cannot count how many times my parents have told me to shut up and stop crying because i don't deserve to cry. and that's after they hit me multiple times with a shoe. They think i don't deserve to cry because they had a terrible childhood way worse than mine but that doesn't mean you bring it out on me.
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I cannot count how many times my parents have told me to shut up and stop crying because i don't deserve to cry. and that's after they hit me multiple times with a shoe. They think i don't deserve to cry because they had a terrible childhood way worse than mine but that doesn't mean you bring it out on me.
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education
It's kinda of sad to know that I relate to almost every single thing that has been said in the video. When are my parents gonna start treating me like a grown up, like I am not like that I can't wash my dishes or get myself something to eat, I am just tired of these stuff
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It's kinda of sad to know that I relate to almost every single thing that has been said in the video. When are my parents gonna start treating me like a grown up, like I am not like that I can't wash my dishes or get myself something to eat, I am just tired of these stuff
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education
Have they ever told you to stop crying?
6 yro me: cries
My mom: stop crying
6 yro me: hics
My mom: stop that
6 yro me: unable to stop
My mom: 3.
6 yro me: hiccing intensifies
My mom: 2. 1.
6 yro me: proceeds to get caned
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Have they ever told you to stop crying?
6 yro me: cries
My mom: stop crying
6 yro me: hics
My mom: stop that
6 yro me: unable to stop
My mom: 3.
6 yro me: hiccing intensifies
My mom: 2. 1.
6 yro me: proceeds to get caned
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education
My in-laws have 6 out of 7 of these traits. They don't respect me as head of my household. And no matter what she's accomplished or how much $$ we make, it's never good enough for them. My parents are the complete opposite. For that, I'm thankful.
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My in-laws have 6 out of 7 of these traits. They don't respect me as head of my household. And no matter what she's accomplished or how much $$ we make, it's never good enough for them. My parents are the complete opposite. For that, I'm thankful.
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Tina
Something that really sucked for me in my childhood was that my dad would compare me to kids who are like 13-14 and already done with college and have a good job and say why cant you do that as if its my fault for not being a super super smart person
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Something that really sucked for me in my childhood was that my dad would compare me to kids who are like 13-14 and already done with college and have a good job and say why cant you do that as if its my fault for not being a super super smart person
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Riso
Is this toxic parenting? When I was younger whenever I cried my parents would get mad at me and countdown to one and this after they counted down to one they said I shouldve stopped crying even though it was actually a big reason to cry about.
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Is this toxic parenting? When I was younger whenever I cried my parents would get mad at me and countdown to one and this after they counted down to one they said I shouldve stopped crying even though it was actually a big reason to cry about.
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EvilSin
Actually I watched this video not because of my parents or my childhood, but because I'm a mother of three lovely daughters, the youngest being 3 months old now Somehow I just wanted to make sure I'm not unintentionally toxic in any way x)
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Actually I watched this video not because of my parents or my childhood, but because I'm a mother of three lovely daughters, the youngest being 3 months old now Somehow I just wanted to make sure I'm not unintentionally toxic in any way x)
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Hinatsuru
One time I went home crying because of bullying from my classmates. Then my parents said stop crying, they didnt touch you or anything, so you shouldnt be cry and kept telling me that crying is weak, and I should not cry near anyone.
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One time I went home crying because of bullying from my classmates. Then my parents said stop crying, they didnt touch you or anything, so you shouldnt be cry and kept telling me that crying is weak, and I should not cry near anyone.
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Adrin
This is too relatable, I'm almost 18 and they treat me like if I were 10 or 11, always telling me what to do, giving me simple instructions and strict orders because they omit that I'm aware of what to do most of the time
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This is too relatable, I'm almost 18 and they treat me like if I were 10 or 11, always telling me what to do, giving me simple instructions and strict orders because they omit that I'm aware of what to do most of the time
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