What Does Relationship Abuse Look Like? (Abuse Series)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
The
This tells me that humans didn't evolve for abusive or manipulative relationships. if our species had these kinds of people throughout our history then we would be much better at picking up on abusive behaviors. Many hunter/gatherer societies-how humans used to live before agriculture-were fiercely egalitarian and this kind of abusive behavior wasn't tolerated (everyone was armed then too and you could get an arrow in you at any time of arrogant controlling behavior)
We never evolved the ability be weary of these behaviors because we've never had to deal with this in the whole history of our species up until around 10, 000 years ago-which is not that long of a time to evolve to the sudden change. We also evolved to have multiple people helping us so now that we're in these isolated nuclear families there's no outside tribal members to step in and protect us. We also never evolved to deal with these things individually either.
Those areas of our brains that make us feel suspicion and to use proper judgment shut down because we never needed it like we do now. Perhaps we may evolve to this new environment? I sure hope so.
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This tells me that humans didn't evolve for abusive or manipulative relationships. if our species had these kinds of people throughout our history then we would be much better at picking up on abusive behaviors. Many hunter/gatherer societies-how humans used to live before agriculture-were fiercely egalitarian and this kind of abusive behavior wasn't tolerated (everyone was armed then too and you could get an arrow in you at any time of arrogant controlling behavior)
We never evolved the ability be weary of these behaviors because we've never had to deal with this in the whole history of our species up until around 10, 000 years ago-which is not that long of a time to evolve to the sudden change. We also evolved to have multiple people helping us so now that we're in these isolated nuclear families there's no outside tribal members to step in and protect us. We also never evolved to deal with these things individually either.
Those areas of our brains that make us feel suspicion and to use proper judgment shut down because we never needed it like we do now. Perhaps we may evolve to this new environment? I sure hope so.
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MedievalWerewolf
I bring up this story not just to share, but to highlight the importance of knowing the difference between perceived abuse and actual abuse.
My wife was verbally and physically abused by her grandparents while growing up, also by multiple exes. This experience has made her very guarded, cynical, intolerant, and short fused. She feels slighted easily and has pushed away several of my friends to where it's no longer possible for me to have the same kind of rapport with them that I used to. Whenever I try to talk with her about this, it always ends up in screaming match, and she acuses me of trying to control her, saying I'm forcing her to re-invite toxic people back into our lives.
This has legit made me second guess myself and feel like I have been abusing her. In truth all I've been trying to do is help her lose the baggage, to better receive constructive feedback, and to not see toxicity where there is none. It's an easy trap to fall into, and change is tough.
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I bring up this story not just to share, but to highlight the importance of knowing the difference between perceived abuse and actual abuse.
My wife was verbally and physically abused by her grandparents while growing up, also by multiple exes. This experience has made her very guarded, cynical, intolerant, and short fused. She feels slighted easily and has pushed away several of my friends to where it's no longer possible for me to have the same kind of rapport with them that I used to. Whenever I try to talk with her about this, it always ends up in screaming match, and she acuses me of trying to control her, saying I'm forcing her to re-invite toxic people back into our lives.
This has legit made me second guess myself and feel like I have been abusing her. In truth all I've been trying to do is help her lose the baggage, to better receive constructive feedback, and to not see toxicity where there is none. It's an easy trap to fall into, and change is tough.
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UMBRA
Hello please can someone help me to answer whether I got myself into a toxic abusive relationship or not.
I am a 22 year old woman and my partner is 26 year old man. I was really inexperienced and vulnerable so I was really giving to him when he said he wants to sleep with me. I don't know anything at my first time, but at certain point I did say no to him, I even told him to stop when he wanted to force himself inside me but he didn't even listen. He keep on going on his way. When I told him it was hurting me and I scratched his hand out of reflexes of how hurt its was, he pin my hand down forcefully and even though I was struggling to fight, he keep on going. He told me several times what to do, forced me on positions i was really uncomfortable of, force me to kneel and give him head despite of how that was my first time. I can't even get a chance to say a proper no. What should i do? I'm not ready yet to tell anyone.
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Hello please can someone help me to answer whether I got myself into a toxic abusive relationship or not.
I am a 22 year old woman and my partner is 26 year old man. I was really inexperienced and vulnerable so I was really giving to him when he said he wants to sleep with me. I don't know anything at my first time, but at certain point I did say no to him, I even told him to stop when he wanted to force himself inside me but he didn't even listen. He keep on going on his way. When I told him it was hurting me and I scratched his hand out of reflexes of how hurt its was, he pin my hand down forcefully and even though I was struggling to fight, he keep on going. He told me several times what to do, forced me on positions i was really uncomfortable of, force me to kneel and give him head despite of how that was my first time. I can't even get a chance to say a proper no. What should i do? I'm not ready yet to tell anyone.
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ccrumpett
So. this is a question. My girlfriend she uh. argues with me etc I argue with her. I say things but then she says I always compare my life to hers etc, she once said that she wants to slam my head into a wall etc and said that I should cope with it. She said that she doesnt care if I cry etc. she was calling me things like ableist etc, and I agreed saying. Im just like my mother arent I? (Who abuses me mentally and emotionally etc) she said maybe you are. She also says that, my life isnt about me all the time etc. then. when I kept saying I love you, she said things like, ok k when I said why arent you saying it back? She said. Im not in the mood: ) worser things have happened. is that abusive or not? Everyones telling me to leave her but I love her its so difficult
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So. this is a question. My girlfriend she uh. argues with me etc I argue with her. I say things but then she says I always compare my life to hers etc, she once said that she wants to slam my head into a wall etc and said that I should cope with it. She said that she doesnt care if I cry etc. she was calling me things like ableist etc, and I agreed saying. Im just like my mother arent I? (Who abuses me mentally and emotionally etc) she said maybe you are. She also says that, my life isnt about me all the time etc. then. when I kept saying I love you, she said things like, ok k when I said why arent you saying it back? She said. Im not in the mood: ) worser things have happened. is that abusive or not? Everyones telling me to leave her but I love her its so difficult
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tuyiorla
My abuser is believed to be such a charming guy, I was publicly humiliated by a girl he cheated on me with. I was mad and finally having the guts to leave, but I was also blind with rage and I said so many awful things about him and her and he sent all the screenshots to her and she sent them out of context to my family even got my sisters and mother involved. I couldn't say anything to him because he immediately apologized and love bombed me. Since then I don't believe in love anymore, he did awful things to me. He's a dangerous person who has almost killed me before and everyone believes I'm the bad guy in the relationship. It's not fair, I want to cry all the time, it's just not fair.
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My abuser is believed to be such a charming guy, I was publicly humiliated by a girl he cheated on me with. I was mad and finally having the guts to leave, but I was also blind with rage and I said so many awful things about him and her and he sent all the screenshots to her and she sent them out of context to my family even got my sisters and mother involved. I couldn't say anything to him because he immediately apologized and love bombed me. Since then I don't believe in love anymore, he did awful things to me. He's a dangerous person who has almost killed me before and everyone believes I'm the bad guy in the relationship. It's not fair, I want to cry all the time, it's just not fair.
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My
If i even say one sentece in a 24 hours to my husbend he replied me Why you want to ruined my life with your dirty mouth, and continue with rough abuseive language for my 1 sentence. and he blame me for every thing and he realised me very tacticly behined his every failure there's only reasion is me. i have panic attack for this treats i shevear but when i got panic attack infront of him he replied me Stop doing your noncense Darama. He never felt any sorry for this ge never felt any of his fault of this. he Answered me What ever he just saied that every word i deserve it.
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If i even say one sentece in a 24 hours to my husbend he replied me Why you want to ruined my life with your dirty mouth, and continue with rough abuseive language for my 1 sentence. and he blame me for every thing and he realised me very tacticly behined his every failure there's only reasion is me. i have panic attack for this treats i shevear but when i got panic attack infront of him he replied me Stop doing your noncense Darama. He never felt any sorry for this ge never felt any of his fault of this. he Answered me What ever he just saied that every word i deserve it.
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afrodite
i'm 13 and in a abusive relationship. he rap3d me and always hits me but i can't leave him because if i do he'll k1ll hiself. he is slowly killing my mentality. i really tought that i could have trusted him but even if i said no many times he still rap3d me. he even asked can i put it in and i answered no but he told me to shush and did it anyway. i can't believe that i lost my verg1nity at only 13 years old, i'm disguisting
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i'm 13 and in a abusive relationship. he rap3d me and always hits me but i can't leave him because if i do he'll k1ll hiself. he is slowly killing my mentality. i really tought that i could have trusted him but even if i said no many times he still rap3d me. he even asked can i put it in and i answered no but he told me to shush and did it anyway. i can't believe that i lost my verg1nity at only 13 years old, i'm disguisting
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Shonii
Physically abused by spouse, he would cry, apologize and swear it would never happen again. but he would also explain that i had made him mad, I did not leave him until someone intervened and explained that what was going on was abuse and that it would get worse so I left. I had been physically abused by a parent as a child, so rather than being upset and outraged when he hit me, it felt rather normal to me.
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Physically abused by spouse, he would cry, apologize and swear it would never happen again. but he would also explain that i had made him mad, I did not leave him until someone intervened and explained that what was going on was abuse and that it would get worse so I left. I had been physically abused by a parent as a child, so rather than being upset and outraged when he hit me, it felt rather normal to me.
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psych2go
I asked for my belongings back and I had to fight to his pocket to get it, he restrained me to the bed (saying I have your best interest at heart) then proceeded to body slam me to the floor, and I proceeded to punch him in the face. This can't be normal right? Like what makes a man even begin to think its acceptable to put hands on me. I've never had this in any other relationship.
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I asked for my belongings back and I had to fight to his pocket to get it, he restrained me to the bed (saying I have your best interest at heart) then proceeded to body slam me to the floor, and I proceeded to punch him in the face. This can't be normal right? Like what makes a man even begin to think its acceptable to put hands on me. I've never had this in any other relationship.
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Maria
My ex boyfriend was narcissistic abusers and I didn't give a dam of him anymore mario ferrenti is dead to me. Dump him fast enough I didn't want him back at all. He doesn't love anyone the only thing he want is money and nothing else. I don't love him anymore and kick him out the door instead and I want to move on without toxic relationship. End relationship means it's over goodbye.
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My ex boyfriend was narcissistic abusers and I didn't give a dam of him anymore mario ferrenti is dead to me. Dump him fast enough I didn't want him back at all. He doesn't love anyone the only thing he want is money and nothing else. I don't love him anymore and kick him out the door instead and I want to move on without toxic relationship. End relationship means it's over goodbye.
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Acha
Im stuck in a abusive relationship with no way to get out, He abuses me physically in front of my daughter, and its only getting worse. I have to come with random stories to why I have bruises all over my body, But I still love him and we have a child together, I cant get away or want to (Im still in high school and living with him, theres literally no way out)
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Im stuck in a abusive relationship with no way to get out, He abuses me physically in front of my daughter, and its only getting worse. I have to come with random stories to why I have bruises all over my body, But I still love him and we have a child together, I cant get away or want to (Im still in high school and living with him, theres literally no way out)
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mookeystinks190
Horror story: Im loving it right now. Trying to get out but he has bankrupted me so I will be fixing a camper to live in with my son and seeking law help shortly. He has banished me to live in a glorified closet and allows cats to rest or pee on my bedding (when Im at work) just to humiliate me. Im documenting everything.
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Horror story: Im loving it right now. Trying to get out but he has bankrupted me so I will be fixing a camper to live in with my son and seeking law help shortly. He has banished me to live in a glorified closet and allows cats to rest or pee on my bedding (when Im at work) just to humiliate me. Im documenting everything.
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Rebecca
I think it's also important to note, this can happen at any age. I was in middle school when I was in an abusive relationship and there's elderly who are in abusive relationships. everyone thinks about abusive relationships as just middle aged adults, when it's really not.
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I think it's also important to note, this can happen at any age. I was in middle school when I was in an abusive relationship and there's elderly who are in abusive relationships. everyone thinks about abusive relationships as just middle aged adults, when it's really not.
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garbage
A Toxic relationship is like your partner hits you or forces you to do something your brain tells yourself that you should leave him(her) they'll threaten to kill themselfs and you deep inside will say that you don't want that so you run back and they gain control again
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A Toxic relationship is like your partner hits you or forces you to do something your brain tells yourself that you should leave him(her) they'll threaten to kill themselfs and you deep inside will say that you don't want that so you run back and they gain control again
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education
Yes - can you make a video on how abuse looks from an outside point of vew and how should we react accurately. Pls. I was in an abusive relationship where i have been punched in the stomach infront of 15 people at a bar and nobody did anything.
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Yes - can you make a video on how abuse looks from an outside point of vew and how should we react accurately. Pls. I was in an abusive relationship where i have been punched in the stomach infront of 15 people at a bar and nobody did anything.
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Maria
Don't believe the abusers lies, just walk away from abuser move on forward be happier with toxic immature boys.
Don't care about toxic ex boyfriend narcissistic abusers guys.
Report him to the police and
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Don't believe the abusers lies, just walk away from abuser move on forward be happier with toxic immature boys.
Don't care about toxic ex boyfriend narcissistic abusers guys.
Report him to the police and
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Kirsten
Ok so, i have a friend who i think may be in a toxic/abusive relationship, but i idk how to help them. Any advice? This will probably be lost in the comments, but I'm hoping for a response from anyone.
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Ok so, i have a friend who i think may be in a toxic/abusive relationship, but i idk how to help them. Any advice? This will probably be lost in the comments, but I'm hoping for a response from anyone.
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Kass
This made me cry. Im in a very toxic and abusive relationship. dont know what to do, i love him. And he helped me a lot since we met, i just dont know what to do. Weve been together for five years now.
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This made me cry. Im in a very toxic and abusive relationship. dont know what to do, i love him. And he helped me a lot since we met, i just dont know what to do. Weve been together for five years now.
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Kiowa
They never admit that they are treating you bad
When you defend yourself they say youre the abuser and they blame everything on you
And they make themselves look good in front of people
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They never admit that they are treating you bad
When you defend yourself they say youre the abuser and they blame everything on you
And they make themselves look good in front of people
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ItsJustMeAlec
If they threaten suicide, report them to a family member or authorities. You are not personally responsible for their actions or happiness
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If they threaten suicide, report them to a family member or authorities. You are not personally responsible for their actions or happiness
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Leilani
I lefted after she kept ragging on my hair she hit me 72 times for three hrs i lefted right then and there and I pressed charges.
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I lefted after she kept ragging on my hair she hit me 72 times for three hrs i lefted right then and there and I pressed charges.
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Sierra
Getting out of an abusive relationship is an important milestone we need to celebrate and recognize. I had a divorce party
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Getting out of an abusive relationship is an important milestone we need to celebrate and recognize. I had a divorce party
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Crab
Man in a scary why it just describe my dad, I mean my parents are divorced but he does the same things to my stepmother,
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Man in a scary why it just describe my dad, I mean my parents are divorced but he does the same things to my stepmother,
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Nikki
Apparent apparently for some reason a toxic relationship looks like a slimy person drooping on top of a normal person.
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Apparent apparently for some reason a toxic relationship looks like a slimy person drooping on top of a normal person.
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Pineapple
Im so exhausted. Why cant people just be good? Literally how are we getting with these monsters. i cant anymore.
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Im so exhausted. Why cant people just be good? Literally how are we getting with these monsters. i cant anymore.
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