6 Signs Your Partner Might Be Struggling With Bpd
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Date: 2023-11-16
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Comments and reviews: 20
AlexPostScript
I don't really devalue my partner, usually with my quiet/discouraged BPD it's all 'i'm somehow not good enough, what did i do? how can i fix this? ' it's a self-devaluation, a coping mechanism, I devalue myself first so i have more control over the situation, it's 100% not a good thing to do, but growing up with a narcissistic parent, actually, multiple of them, and one that also most likely has BPD too, you learn to take the blame, the scapegoat mindset is real, but there's a difference between selflessness and self-sacrifice, being horrible to yourself for even a percieved slight and feeling worthless and completely unlovable and that you'll die alone because you upset a loved one or they just don't love you back like they used to? that's how bad it can get inside my head. I've had enough therapy to curb a lot of it, but not all of it. Got diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago, and even though mine isn't as angry and impulsive, it's still a horrible experience at times and it feels like the world is caving in around you, the helplessness is so awful, I KNOW it's self-sabotage, that's why I want to get help and manage my condition better, not just for me, but for those I love who don't like seeing me like this.
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I don't really devalue my partner, usually with my quiet/discouraged BPD it's all 'i'm somehow not good enough, what did i do? how can i fix this? ' it's a self-devaluation, a coping mechanism, I devalue myself first so i have more control over the situation, it's 100% not a good thing to do, but growing up with a narcissistic parent, actually, multiple of them, and one that also most likely has BPD too, you learn to take the blame, the scapegoat mindset is real, but there's a difference between selflessness and self-sacrifice, being horrible to yourself for even a percieved slight and feeling worthless and completely unlovable and that you'll die alone because you upset a loved one or they just don't love you back like they used to? that's how bad it can get inside my head. I've had enough therapy to curb a lot of it, but not all of it. Got diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago, and even though mine isn't as angry and impulsive, it's still a horrible experience at times and it feels like the world is caving in around you, the helplessness is so awful, I KNOW it's self-sabotage, that's why I want to get help and manage my condition better, not just for me, but for those I love who don't like seeing me like this.
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Liam
thanks for putting this video together; it's a bit of a relief knowing that other people have gone through some of the same phases themselves, or experienced similar things with their partners as well. before I get to my story, I know there's a lot of stigma and misinformation surrounding people who suffer from BPD, and I wanna make it clear that not everyone with the diagnosis is like the person I'm about to bring up.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with somebody who had BPD a few years ago. the first month or so felt like a dream I didn't wanna wake up from; I mean, it wasn't perfect, but it was the first time I'd ever felt like I was truly being loved romantically, and she assured me that the feeling was mutual. the next 2 months were complete and utter HELL. I dunno if I got split but she'd disappear and wouldn't say a word to me for days about 2 weeks after I brought up something she did around Christmas that made me uncomfortable. then, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and I was just hoping, praying that things would go back to the way they were and that she was gonna be alright. turned out the 2 months she left me high and dry, she was busy sleeping with other people
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thanks for putting this video together; it's a bit of a relief knowing that other people have gone through some of the same phases themselves, or experienced similar things with their partners as well. before I get to my story, I know there's a lot of stigma and misinformation surrounding people who suffer from BPD, and I wanna make it clear that not everyone with the diagnosis is like the person I'm about to bring up.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with somebody who had BPD a few years ago. the first month or so felt like a dream I didn't wanna wake up from; I mean, it wasn't perfect, but it was the first time I'd ever felt like I was truly being loved romantically, and she assured me that the feeling was mutual. the next 2 months were complete and utter HELL. I dunno if I got split but she'd disappear and wouldn't say a word to me for days about 2 weeks after I brought up something she did around Christmas that made me uncomfortable. then, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and I was just hoping, praying that things would go back to the way they were and that she was gonna be alright. turned out the 2 months she left me high and dry, she was busy sleeping with other people
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rubymetal
this video is incredibly validating, thank you for making it. i m healing from a breakup with someone with bpd and it s taken a long time to really cement it into my head that their devaluing me and splitting on me wasn t indicative that i deserved it, but rather that they didn t get help earlier in life for their illness and that s not on me. i truly believe that they will eventually heal and be able to have healthier relationships than they did with me, just as i have become healthier and learned more about protecting my boundaries since then.
i m curious if someone with bpd who knows they have the disorder is always aware of what s going on? i asked them once after the constant shift between loving me and saying i m a great partner so suddenly shunning me, criticizing me and saying i don t do enough, i asked them if i was becoming their fp and they said no. i don t have the disorder and i can t read their mind but the idolization, the splitting, the refusal to let me go after i said i couldn t take it anymore and needed to end things for my safety. i have a hard time believing as someone who doesn t have bpd that what was happening wasn t an fp
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this video is incredibly validating, thank you for making it. i m healing from a breakup with someone with bpd and it s taken a long time to really cement it into my head that their devaluing me and splitting on me wasn t indicative that i deserved it, but rather that they didn t get help earlier in life for their illness and that s not on me. i truly believe that they will eventually heal and be able to have healthier relationships than they did with me, just as i have become healthier and learned more about protecting my boundaries since then.
i m curious if someone with bpd who knows they have the disorder is always aware of what s going on? i asked them once after the constant shift between loving me and saying i m a great partner so suddenly shunning me, criticizing me and saying i don t do enough, i asked them if i was becoming their fp and they said no. i don t have the disorder and i can t read their mind but the idolization, the splitting, the refusal to let me go after i said i couldn t take it anymore and needed to end things for my safety. i have a hard time believing as someone who doesn t have bpd that what was happening wasn t an fp
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Battlefield
I'm not diagnosed, but I heavily suspect that I could have BPD as I have all but one of its symptoms. I am diagnosed with autism and ocd, and can't imagine if I were to get a BPD diagnosis on top of that. I seem to have an indirect, but deep fear of abandonment, I have a hard time regulating my emotions and get quite irritable often times too easily, I would idealize/devaluate when communicating with my crush back in highschool, etc. Being autistic and ocd, I have the need for order and consistency with routines. When any of that is disrupted, that's when I get the most irritated and have a difficult time getting back down to earth, metaphorically speaking. I believe that my actions possibly stemming from a case of BPD is what contributed to me ruining the connection with my crush and setting myself back for so many years in terms of finding my sense of self and personal identity.
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I'm not diagnosed, but I heavily suspect that I could have BPD as I have all but one of its symptoms. I am diagnosed with autism and ocd, and can't imagine if I were to get a BPD diagnosis on top of that. I seem to have an indirect, but deep fear of abandonment, I have a hard time regulating my emotions and get quite irritable often times too easily, I would idealize/devaluate when communicating with my crush back in highschool, etc. Being autistic and ocd, I have the need for order and consistency with routines. When any of that is disrupted, that's when I get the most irritated and have a difficult time getting back down to earth, metaphorically speaking. I believe that my actions possibly stemming from a case of BPD is what contributed to me ruining the connection with my crush and setting myself back for so many years in terms of finding my sense of self and personal identity.
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Walking
Watching this video reminded me of how my last relationship went, and how I was like towards my ex. Everything mentioned is exactly what happened in my last relationship, and it's just as I suspected after I broke up with my ex and looked back on how it all started and went, my behavior and thoughts while we were dating.
I can't say that I really do have BPD, even if the signs are there based on my observation and research about BPD. I am, however, willing to seek professional help and (if ever I get the diagnosis) get proper treatment.
I'm actually happy to see y'all tackle on about dating people with BPD. Even though this video is purely for educational purposes and isn't exactly reliable, this helps quite a lot for folks with BPD. Thank you.
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Watching this video reminded me of how my last relationship went, and how I was like towards my ex. Everything mentioned is exactly what happened in my last relationship, and it's just as I suspected after I broke up with my ex and looked back on how it all started and went, my behavior and thoughts while we were dating.
I can't say that I really do have BPD, even if the signs are there based on my observation and research about BPD. I am, however, willing to seek professional help and (if ever I get the diagnosis) get proper treatment.
I'm actually happy to see y'all tackle on about dating people with BPD. Even though this video is purely for educational purposes and isn't exactly reliable, this helps quite a lot for folks with BPD. Thank you.
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Mariana
I relate to these statements a lot, a frightening lot. (Though not in dating, I haven't dated anyone yet, but these apply to closer friendships)
I've always understood it as being sensitive for myself, but I fit the descriptions shown a lot.
What should I do? Like, realistically. I've been in therapy for a year and a half due to trauma and still go because of low self esteem and dealings with people I can't manage.
I'm afraid to ask my therapist about it. She'll think I'm ridiculous if I mention I got the info from the internet and there's not another way of telling her that could substitute and hold the same weight in reason as just telling the truth
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I relate to these statements a lot, a frightening lot. (Though not in dating, I haven't dated anyone yet, but these apply to closer friendships)
I've always understood it as being sensitive for myself, but I fit the descriptions shown a lot.
What should I do? Like, realistically. I've been in therapy for a year and a half due to trauma and still go because of low self esteem and dealings with people I can't manage.
I'm afraid to ask my therapist about it. She'll think I'm ridiculous if I mention I got the info from the internet and there's not another way of telling her that could substitute and hold the same weight in reason as just telling the truth
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Ivan
I have noticed some things that are similar to BDP or as undetached in my ex boyfriend. I once told him after we started an argument: something that bugs me is that your feelings towards me don't seem constant. One day you say you love me and the next day you act as if you met me yesterday. He also has a tendency of putting someone else's efforts and work as less than what he does. We ended breaking up but still talk to each other. Not sure if both of us going to therapy could have saved the relationship but is something that I now noticed while watching this video.
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I have noticed some things that are similar to BDP or as undetached in my ex boyfriend. I once told him after we started an argument: something that bugs me is that your feelings towards me don't seem constant. One day you say you love me and the next day you act as if you met me yesterday. He also has a tendency of putting someone else's efforts and work as less than what he does. We ended breaking up but still talk to each other. Not sure if both of us going to therapy could have saved the relationship but is something that I now noticed while watching this video.
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PhoenixfromCanada
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 & 2 in 2008. Then, in 2016, I was diagnosed with BPD, Social and General anxiety. I have taken treatment such Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy with great success. However, I have found a repeat trigger that causes my BPD to rear its head is my mother. I've discovered that if I don't include her, my BPD is not triggered, and I don't have to ride that Ferris wheel roller coaster through the dark maze of emotions.
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I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 & 2 in 2008. Then, in 2016, I was diagnosed with BPD, Social and General anxiety. I have taken treatment such Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy with great success. However, I have found a repeat trigger that causes my BPD to rear its head is my mother. I've discovered that if I don't include her, my BPD is not triggered, and I don't have to ride that Ferris wheel roller coaster through the dark maze of emotions.
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king
Not dated them but I have a few friends with it. They usually tell Me that it's fun, before it isn't and that's with regards to any relationship with them. It seems all fun and games until you finally understand the gravity of what a relationship built on unhealthy attachments entail. But it's not all doom and gloom, this with BPD are great people from my own experience and they have lead lives that are great for them and their partners. Love to all my friends with BPD in the comments too!
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Not dated them but I have a few friends with it. They usually tell Me that it's fun, before it isn't and that's with regards to any relationship with them. It seems all fun and games until you finally understand the gravity of what a relationship built on unhealthy attachments entail. But it's not all doom and gloom, this with BPD are great people from my own experience and they have lead lives that are great for them and their partners. Love to all my friends with BPD in the comments too!
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The
Thank you, I wish everyone who got to know me saw this video. I have togo back to therapy after 15 years. Indeed, it is chronic and long-term. I thought I was ok but as new triggers arise, I just realized I was beating myself up inside and suppressing the emotions of the thinks that I can t seem to accept. I have become the queen of splitting and yes people do stay away from me b/c once I feel disrespected i over react in a way that could ve been less aggressive if I thought about it.
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Thank you, I wish everyone who got to know me saw this video. I have togo back to therapy after 15 years. Indeed, it is chronic and long-term. I thought I was ok but as new triggers arise, I just realized I was beating myself up inside and suppressing the emotions of the thinks that I can t seem to accept. I have become the queen of splitting and yes people do stay away from me b/c once I feel disrespected i over react in a way that could ve been less aggressive if I thought about it.
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kevin
Dated a girl with BPD one time, I thought I could help her get better but it was all for naught in the end. long story short, she only had one friend and that friend got really jealous that I was in the picture so she slashed my tire and tried to frame me for a bunch of illegal activities. No matter how much proof of innocence I showed my Ex, she just couldn't believe me, so I eventually dropped her. Man that situation was such a headache but I'm glad it's over now.
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Dated a girl with BPD one time, I thought I could help her get better but it was all for naught in the end. long story short, she only had one friend and that friend got really jealous that I was in the picture so she slashed my tire and tried to frame me for a bunch of illegal activities. No matter how much proof of innocence I showed my Ex, she just couldn't believe me, so I eventually dropped her. Man that situation was such a headache but I'm glad it's over now.
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D. Robert
This was helpful, but also evocative of trauma as my SA abusing hypnotherapist/stalker had BPD (and other issues.
Could you maybe think about topics relating to the iatrogenic disorders, please?
And also the results of mental health professionals who se&ually exploit clients to their detriment? My life was obliterated by it and I am still living with the damage nearly 40 years later. I think that is a bigger issue than many are aware.
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This was helpful, but also evocative of trauma as my SA abusing hypnotherapist/stalker had BPD (and other issues.
Could you maybe think about topics relating to the iatrogenic disorders, please?
And also the results of mental health professionals who se&ually exploit clients to their detriment? My life was obliterated by it and I am still living with the damage nearly 40 years later. I think that is a bigger issue than many are aware.
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Lady
DSM 5 should seriously review this misogynistic label. BPD is more likely how C-PTSD presents itself within neurodivergent people (75% are women) who have either ASD or ADHD, or both. However, a good 20% of those diagnosed with BPD also have NPD, which means they are the ones likely to hurt people around while denying their toxic behavior. This is why the BPD label can be harmful to the people already struggling with traumas
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DSM 5 should seriously review this misogynistic label. BPD is more likely how C-PTSD presents itself within neurodivergent people (75% are women) who have either ASD or ADHD, or both. However, a good 20% of those diagnosed with BPD also have NPD, which means they are the ones likely to hurt people around while denying their toxic behavior. This is why the BPD label can be harmful to the people already struggling with traumas
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GalaxyFigure
I suspect I have bpd and seeing alot of comments talking about people who had dealt with it in the relationship and ending it because of it, made me sad. I get why but I realize it might be impossible for me to keep a relationship with bpd. If anyone knows any way to help tone it down enough to be tolerable in a relationship, please lmmk!
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I suspect I have bpd and seeing alot of comments talking about people who had dealt with it in the relationship and ending it because of it, made me sad. I get why but I realize it might be impossible for me to keep a relationship with bpd. If anyone knows any way to help tone it down enough to be tolerable in a relationship, please lmmk!
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sewgeek
An ex has this she d text me 19-20 messages In a day demeaning me. Then the next day say how awesome I was after a while she dumped me thankfully she even moved out the country haven t seen her since (I even blocked her and she had other accounts so I changed my numbers) not something I wanna deal with ever again
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An ex has this she d text me 19-20 messages In a day demeaning me. Then the next day say how awesome I was after a while she dumped me thankfully she even moved out the country haven t seen her since (I even blocked her and she had other accounts so I changed my numbers) not something I wanna deal with ever again
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Le
knew someone with bpd and this is dead on how she was. I wasn't perfect and tried my best but. the splits, the sudden changes. I really tried but nothing was ever enough for her and in the end she's gone. Just hope that she is well and getting the help needed for herself even though things ended badly between us
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knew someone with bpd and this is dead on how she was. I wasn't perfect and tried my best but. the splits, the sudden changes. I really tried but nothing was ever enough for her and in the end she's gone. Just hope that she is well and getting the help needed for herself even though things ended badly between us
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Emily
Finally a great video on BPD and explaining how we truly feel. I see things that make me cry because it's so hurtful and mean to a disorder I have no control over. This video made me cry because I finally found a video I feel truly heard. I love your videos you're truly amazing.
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Finally a great video on BPD and explaining how we truly feel. I see things that make me cry because it's so hurtful and mean to a disorder I have no control over. This video made me cry because I finally found a video I feel truly heard. I love your videos you're truly amazing.
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Deadly
Timestamps
1. What is BPD 0: 28
2. Let's talk about abandonment 1: 24
3. They seem hot and cold 2: 19
4. Their moods shift quickly 3: 48
5. They have a history of rocky relationships 4: 52
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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Timestamps
1. What is BPD 0: 28
2. Let's talk about abandonment 1: 24
3. They seem hot and cold 2: 19
4. Their moods shift quickly 3: 48
5. They have a history of rocky relationships 4: 52
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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jen
I used to be in a talking stage with this girl who has a bpd, and I m telling y all it is not for the weak. I was fighting for my life (figurative speech) and for our relationship but it was really hard, but I did tried my best and I did love her.
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I used to be in a talking stage with this girl who has a bpd, and I m telling y all it is not for the weak. I was fighting for my life (figurative speech) and for our relationship but it was really hard, but I did tried my best and I did love her.
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Galvana
0: 00 - Intro
0: 28 - What is BPD?
0: 58 - Overview
No. 1: 1: 28 - Fear of Abandonment
No. 2: 2: 20 - They seem Hot n Cold
No. 3: 3: 48 - Their Moods Shift Quickly
No. 4: 4: 43 - They Have a History of Rocky Relationships
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0: 00 - Intro
0: 28 - What is BPD?
0: 58 - Overview
No. 1: 1: 28 - Fear of Abandonment
No. 2: 2: 20 - They seem Hot n Cold
No. 3: 3: 48 - Their Moods Shift Quickly
No. 4: 4: 43 - They Have a History of Rocky Relationships
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