7 Signs You're Emotionally Unavailable (Detached)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Arti
I have always known that there is a term for why I am like how I am but I could not pinpoint it exactly. You have summed it all in this video. Except for the point of having another mental issues, I can relate with all upto some extent. I especially relate to point 3, 4, 5 and 7 very much.
Though I don't think, having detachment issue is a bad thing.
I do not actively avoid relationships but I want them to be genuine that's why I have always walked away from everyone with whom it has felt artificial which is basically with everyone except for my parents and siblings.
I like isolating myself with good books or drama or web series and I do not feel anything missing without social interactions.
I avoid people or places which remind me of bad memories because it's efficient way to avoid anxiety and unnecessary stress.
I avoid others emotions when it becomes excessive otherwise I tolerate them with patience and attention upto a certain limit.
I find it hard to express myself which is the only negative thing, I feel about this issue. I am working on it though.
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I have always known that there is a term for why I am like how I am but I could not pinpoint it exactly. You have summed it all in this video. Except for the point of having another mental issues, I can relate with all upto some extent. I especially relate to point 3, 4, 5 and 7 very much.
Though I don't think, having detachment issue is a bad thing.
I do not actively avoid relationships but I want them to be genuine that's why I have always walked away from everyone with whom it has felt artificial which is basically with everyone except for my parents and siblings.
I like isolating myself with good books or drama or web series and I do not feel anything missing without social interactions.
I avoid people or places which remind me of bad memories because it's efficient way to avoid anxiety and unnecessary stress.
I avoid others emotions when it becomes excessive otherwise I tolerate them with patience and attention upto a certain limit.
I find it hard to express myself which is the only negative thing, I feel about this issue. I am working on it though.
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Daniel
I think I have been emotionally detached for years. It doesn't help that I am on the autism spectrum, so identifying emotions is already somewhat difficult. Sometimes, it seems like the only thing keeping me connected with friendship groups is a sense of routine.
It's difficult because I know there's more to life that I could be experiencing but I feel incapable of doing so. It is also having a huge impact on other aspects of my life. I enjoyed creative writing, I took a module for Advanced Creative Writing for my English degree and when it comes time to put my knowledge and learning to practice, I just can't.
I know it's pointless to just lay down and rot, I strongly advocate against laying down to rot when I catch anyone else doing so, but what else is there to say? I'm a hypocrite.
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I think I have been emotionally detached for years. It doesn't help that I am on the autism spectrum, so identifying emotions is already somewhat difficult. Sometimes, it seems like the only thing keeping me connected with friendship groups is a sense of routine.
It's difficult because I know there's more to life that I could be experiencing but I feel incapable of doing so. It is also having a huge impact on other aspects of my life. I enjoyed creative writing, I took a module for Advanced Creative Writing for my English degree and when it comes time to put my knowledge and learning to practice, I just can't.
I know it's pointless to just lay down and rot, I strongly advocate against laying down to rot when I catch anyone else doing so, but what else is there to say? I'm a hypocrite.
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Robin
I feel emotionally detached to every single one of the relationships I have around me. I think it stems from how I grew up; in my family we don't talk about our emotions at all, we just toss it aside. I feel like I didn't even grow up with attachments towards my parents either. I don't get that safe feeling that you're supposed to get when you're around your family. Growing up, I met a girl and we later dated for around 3 years. However, when it didn't work out, that's when I noticed I just closed my entire self from the world. Now it's really hard for me to navigate through life because I feel completely and utterly alone. There is nowhere for me to turn to, my family is one of my triggers and I have driven away all the friends and family that I have. I don't know what to do.
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I feel emotionally detached to every single one of the relationships I have around me. I think it stems from how I grew up; in my family we don't talk about our emotions at all, we just toss it aside. I feel like I didn't even grow up with attachments towards my parents either. I don't get that safe feeling that you're supposed to get when you're around your family. Growing up, I met a girl and we later dated for around 3 years. However, when it didn't work out, that's when I noticed I just closed my entire self from the world. Now it's really hard for me to navigate through life because I feel completely and utterly alone. There is nowhere for me to turn to, my family is one of my triggers and I have driven away all the friends and family that I have. I don't know what to do.
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gui
That's basically my childhood, as a child, i wasn't in touch with my emotions, since i cried and cried a lot of times but it didn't help things get better, so i would lose contact with my feelings because they are useless, most of the time, when i cried, people said STOP CRYING and etc. And thats where i learned that, not everyone will help you if you cry for help, on the good side, i'm not easily affected by others offenses and i show a passive behaviour, but on the bad side, my feelings become so powerful that i have an emotional outburst
I'm only gonna say one thing, if my son cries, i will try to help him overcome the sadness, not just say stop crying, it's useless to cry like his father was told and later on became an emotionless ghost
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That's basically my childhood, as a child, i wasn't in touch with my emotions, since i cried and cried a lot of times but it didn't help things get better, so i would lose contact with my feelings because they are useless, most of the time, when i cried, people said STOP CRYING and etc. And thats where i learned that, not everyone will help you if you cry for help, on the good side, i'm not easily affected by others offenses and i show a passive behaviour, but on the bad side, my feelings become so powerful that i have an emotional outburst
I'm only gonna say one thing, if my son cries, i will try to help him overcome the sadness, not just say stop crying, it's useless to cry like his father was told and later on became an emotionless ghost
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ellina
This video helped me realize a lot of things. All of the signs that were discussed are things I am experiencing without knowing what they are called. I am really sure what causes me to be emotionally detached is that growing up, I pretty don't much talk about how I feel because i am used to being compared or even I'll try explaining my side, in the end I will be the one to blame, that i would get shouted out, or even worse getting beat up. That's why I am used to keeping it all to myself. Well then, to everyone who's not feeling okay today, last week, or last month, I hope you all won't give up on life; there will always be a way to change and get better. I hope i will get better also.
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This video helped me realize a lot of things. All of the signs that were discussed are things I am experiencing without knowing what they are called. I am really sure what causes me to be emotionally detached is that growing up, I pretty don't much talk about how I feel because i am used to being compared or even I'll try explaining my side, in the end I will be the one to blame, that i would get shouted out, or even worse getting beat up. That's why I am used to keeping it all to myself. Well then, to everyone who's not feeling okay today, last week, or last month, I hope you all won't give up on life; there will always be a way to change and get better. I hope i will get better also.
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Psychedelic
I absolutely relate to all of it. In my case, I felt more comfortable to turn out this way. See, I used to be a clingy one that wants the attention and approval of someone else for my actions, now I feel that pressure have been liften and I feel more free by myself, but numb at other people to the point that when someone cried or die in one of our relatives, I can't feel a thing. These past year I've been enjoying tv shows and movies, it's strange that I felt more alive than ever watching and I can feel more empathy in it than I would in reality, though it doesn't bother me this video helps me understand myself better. Now I accepted myself and still living like the usual.
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I absolutely relate to all of it. In my case, I felt more comfortable to turn out this way. See, I used to be a clingy one that wants the attention and approval of someone else for my actions, now I feel that pressure have been liften and I feel more free by myself, but numb at other people to the point that when someone cried or die in one of our relatives, I can't feel a thing. These past year I've been enjoying tv shows and movies, it's strange that I felt more alive than ever watching and I can feel more empathy in it than I would in reality, though it doesn't bother me this video helps me understand myself better. Now I accepted myself and still living like the usual.
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melonvsknife
I think my whole family is emotionally detatched because of my mother's anger issues. I must have been this way for my whole life that i didn't understand this was bad.
No long term friendships, allowing all to fade. People just take and only want to be friends with you if you're interesting. I have my interests but have no time to be cool in it.
I have my fiance and his family, that is enough, but i've wondered working retail, why people seem so offput by my presence.
I guess im dead inside and they can sense that. Idc, it seems silly to me that they would be so picky. Sorry i don't prey on interesting people to seem bigger than myself.
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I think my whole family is emotionally detatched because of my mother's anger issues. I must have been this way for my whole life that i didn't understand this was bad.
No long term friendships, allowing all to fade. People just take and only want to be friends with you if you're interesting. I have my interests but have no time to be cool in it.
I have my fiance and his family, that is enough, but i've wondered working retail, why people seem so offput by my presence.
I guess im dead inside and they can sense that. Idc, it seems silly to me that they would be so picky. Sorry i don't prey on interesting people to seem bigger than myself.
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education
I want to feel emotionally attached. I really do but its out of my hands. Im pretty sure my emotional detachment is something ive built over the years because I loved myself too much to watch me get hurt so I avoid the issue before it occurs and I try to play it in my head that people change and their feelings change and no one last for me forever. Yet im 27 year old single, dont feel anything for anyone, dont even try to remember the details of my past relationship I think im escaping it deep down. I forget beautiful details in my life! I feel so numb and detached from people it hurts
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I want to feel emotionally attached. I really do but its out of my hands. Im pretty sure my emotional detachment is something ive built over the years because I loved myself too much to watch me get hurt so I avoid the issue before it occurs and I try to play it in my head that people change and their feelings change and no one last for me forever. Yet im 27 year old single, dont feel anything for anyone, dont even try to remember the details of my past relationship I think im escaping it deep down. I forget beautiful details in my life! I feel so numb and detached from people it hurts
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Shubh
I suffer from emotional detachment and I can barely enjoy emotions or attachment or empathize with anyone. I avoid all kind emotional situations, it feels numb from inside when you are somehow always zoned out and can barely relate to anyone. Idk how I developed it but its gone to that point where I chose to work alone far away from people (human settlements), I can barely connect to my parents, friends, family and other things. Its a real thing which comes with a lot of intrusive and suicidal thoughts, nothing makes me happy anymore. I cant even cry cause I cant feel the pain
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I suffer from emotional detachment and I can barely enjoy emotions or attachment or empathize with anyone. I avoid all kind emotional situations, it feels numb from inside when you are somehow always zoned out and can barely relate to anyone. Idk how I developed it but its gone to that point where I chose to work alone far away from people (human settlements), I can barely connect to my parents, friends, family and other things. Its a real thing which comes with a lot of intrusive and suicidal thoughts, nothing makes me happy anymore. I cant even cry cause I cant feel the pain
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Sachairi
I have been dealing with emotional detachment or dissociation since I was 5, I have CPTSD and it is really hard to hear my mother say, Why don't you ever leave your room! It's hard to go through and it makes me feel anxious and more unhappy when I let others down. I Isolate from others because I cannot emotionally connect with them whatsoever, and I don't want them to feel bad about me. Isolating for me is a personal need and if I don't have it, the only emotions I can feel is anger/sadness/frustration because people expect me to react when I feel nothing.
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I have been dealing with emotional detachment or dissociation since I was 5, I have CPTSD and it is really hard to hear my mother say, Why don't you ever leave your room! It's hard to go through and it makes me feel anxious and more unhappy when I let others down. I Isolate from others because I cannot emotionally connect with them whatsoever, and I don't want them to feel bad about me. Isolating for me is a personal need and if I don't have it, the only emotions I can feel is anger/sadness/frustration because people expect me to react when I feel nothing.
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Shanz
Like sometimes i think okay maybe Im not emotionally detached but then I realize I am just mirroring emotions and then feel bad cause I feel very disingenuous. I feel like only one friend I can truly feel myself around. But I try and say yes to social situations with other cause I value those friendships and dont want to lose them but I constantly feel like my emotions are performative and I feel guilty and sad that i cant just be normal and experience happiness. Like I feel like I only really feel like happen when consuming like movies and dancing. Idk
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Like sometimes i think okay maybe Im not emotionally detached but then I realize I am just mirroring emotions and then feel bad cause I feel very disingenuous. I feel like only one friend I can truly feel myself around. But I try and say yes to social situations with other cause I value those friendships and dont want to lose them but I constantly feel like my emotions are performative and I feel guilty and sad that i cant just be normal and experience happiness. Like I feel like I only really feel like happen when consuming like movies and dancing. Idk
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Lorelius
I feel numb, I cut contact with everyone expect my parents, Im feeling chased all the time, and Im so paranoid because of pain and suffering from gang violence and trauma and Ive smoked so much weed that I dont even know how to socialise anymore. And I feel like how much I try there will always be that hole in my heart and that voice in my head that keeps me away from living a normal life. And every time Im falling asleep the only dream that comes is me getting killed in different scenarios.
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I feel numb, I cut contact with everyone expect my parents, Im feeling chased all the time, and Im so paranoid because of pain and suffering from gang violence and trauma and Ive smoked so much weed that I dont even know how to socialise anymore. And I feel like how much I try there will always be that hole in my heart and that voice in my head that keeps me away from living a normal life. And every time Im falling asleep the only dream that comes is me getting killed in different scenarios.
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Shimmershine
Since being diagnosed with chronic health condition my whole family has distanced from me. My attemps at calling or sending hello to them are ignored. I'm told through therapy it appears i come from a line of narcissistic family system. I'm was the scapegoat but now blacksheep. Now i can understand. This drove me to educate myself on this matter. It still hurts me and angers me especially at christmas time but you can't force bad people to be good! Can anyone relate?
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Since being diagnosed with chronic health condition my whole family has distanced from me. My attemps at calling or sending hello to them are ignored. I'm told through therapy it appears i come from a line of narcissistic family system. I'm was the scapegoat but now blacksheep. Now i can understand. This drove me to educate myself on this matter. It still hurts me and angers me especially at christmas time but you can't force bad people to be good! Can anyone relate?
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Simply
i relate to all of these. I was in a 9 month relationship that was very toxic and he wouldnt let me speak to anyone but him, I was basically shut out from the world. After we broke up ive always had these feelings especially in relationships. I could like someone and when things get serious I back out, go numb and isolate myself. I dont know if i should talk to my therapist but I always tell myself it isnt as serious as it could be but maybe i really do need help.
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i relate to all of these. I was in a 9 month relationship that was very toxic and he wouldnt let me speak to anyone but him, I was basically shut out from the world. After we broke up ive always had these feelings especially in relationships. I could like someone and when things get serious I back out, go numb and isolate myself. I dont know if i should talk to my therapist but I always tell myself it isnt as serious as it could be but maybe i really do need help.
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Ghillie_Dhu_
What if you only really feel negative emotions eg anger and when you dont theres nothing, i used to get called robot a lot when i was younger and i helped to make it a lot worse, now a few of my friends are struggling with mental health as well as my girlfriend, someone i love, and i want to help but itll seem like im forcing myself into their lives and i may seem too pushy and i cant even express my own emotions, i dont know what to do.
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What if you only really feel negative emotions eg anger and when you dont theres nothing, i used to get called robot a lot when i was younger and i helped to make it a lot worse, now a few of my friends are struggling with mental health as well as my girlfriend, someone i love, and i want to help but itll seem like im forcing myself into their lives and i may seem too pushy and i cant even express my own emotions, i dont know what to do.
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education
I think i became emotionaly detached cuz of my childhood: When i wase in school I wanted to talk to people at school howerver they semed to not care at all, rather they talked about their own things.
I tried to talk to someone else but they to didnt care at all. So I just told myself what is the point of shering stuff and putting yourself up out ther? no one cares in the end, they will just forget it after a couple of days anyway.
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I think i became emotionaly detached cuz of my childhood: When i wase in school I wanted to talk to people at school howerver they semed to not care at all, rather they talked about their own things.
I tried to talk to someone else but they to didnt care at all. So I just told myself what is the point of shering stuff and putting yourself up out ther? no one cares in the end, they will just forget it after a couple of days anyway.
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Sanata
All these signs talk to me. And the worst as an INFJ, I can feel deeply other people's emotions and yet cannot connect emotionally. I have met wonderful people and really good men but never have been connect to anyone then commit. Recently, I have been asking myself what is wrong with me, why I can't just connect with someone and I found out about emotional numbness. Thanks for your video.
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All these signs talk to me. And the worst as an INFJ, I can feel deeply other people's emotions and yet cannot connect emotionally. I have met wonderful people and really good men but never have been connect to anyone then commit. Recently, I have been asking myself what is wrong with me, why I can't just connect with someone and I found out about emotional numbness. Thanks for your video.
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miss_torres9
I used to be super naive and giving. I was so eager to give my heart & friendship out. All of my 20s were filled w/ disappointment, rejection, pain and trauma. I had to shut my emotions off to survive because I went into a very dark place due to it.
Now Ive realized Ive gone the completely opposite and have become emotionally detached.
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I used to be super naive and giving. I was so eager to give my heart & friendship out. All of my 20s were filled w/ disappointment, rejection, pain and trauma. I had to shut my emotions off to survive because I went into a very dark place due to it.
Now Ive realized Ive gone the completely opposite and have become emotionally detached.
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Tommy
Few days back my long term relationship ended. I'm not feeling anything it just I'm not happy and sad as the same time. It's so difficult to explain. Ik I'm not able to cry even though I want to. Idk what's happening with me I'm feeling lazy and burnt out all the time I'm sleeping too much and over eating. zoned out aswell.
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Few days back my long term relationship ended. I'm not feeling anything it just I'm not happy and sad as the same time. It's so difficult to explain. Ik I'm not able to cry even though I want to. Idk what's happening with me I'm feeling lazy and burnt out all the time I'm sleeping too much and over eating. zoned out aswell.
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Rai
Now i realized what i'm feeling thanks for this information, i'm so detached for almost 2yrs now my best friends are now strangers to me, i can't even give advice my younger brother, my wife decided to leave me today with my son and i ddn't even feel a thing. Please help me i don't know what else to do with my life
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Now i realized what i'm feeling thanks for this information, i'm so detached for almost 2yrs now my best friends are now strangers to me, i can't even give advice my younger brother, my wife decided to leave me today with my son and i ddn't even feel a thing. Please help me i don't know what else to do with my life
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NISHANT
Yes all the things, but after Time passed it becomes worsen and now I don't even know what to do all day, all things I am doing is out of pressure and routine and find it really really hard to tell others about it because I think they will not understand and blame me and try to suppress me.
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Yes all the things, but after Time passed it becomes worsen and now I don't even know what to do all day, all things I am doing is out of pressure and routine and find it really really hard to tell others about it because I think they will not understand and blame me and try to suppress me.
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Ba8604
So I've found myself in a relationship with someone who exhibits this attributes, but my question is. if my gf knows she deals with mild depression and also experiences numbness. that would make her emotionally unavailable. Why would she originally be open to being in a relationship then?
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So I've found myself in a relationship with someone who exhibits this attributes, but my question is. if my gf knows she deals with mild depression and also experiences numbness. that would make her emotionally unavailable. Why would she originally be open to being in a relationship then?
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PeachesBunny
I broke off my relationships with a lot of friends because I don't want them to get hurt in the process of, me, constantly taking breaks and not being able to understand their emotions since I'm aware. I don't think it's severe but I'll definitely go see a therapist soon
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I broke off my relationships with a lot of friends because I don't want them to get hurt in the process of, me, constantly taking breaks and not being able to understand their emotions since I'm aware. I don't think it's severe but I'll definitely go see a therapist soon
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psych2go
Has anyone else stopped feeling romantic attraction because of this I know I'm not aro romantic because I felt it before but after all this started happening it's like I can't feel a single thing anymore and it sucks
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Has anyone else stopped feeling romantic attraction because of this I know I'm not aro romantic because I felt it before but after all this started happening it's like I can't feel a single thing anymore and it sucks
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Goddess
Ive just very recently understood that I was emotionally detaching from everybody but I really do enjoy that. I dont feel like I want to change, I dont know it sounds very messed up but Ive never felt safer.
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Ive just very recently understood that I was emotionally detaching from everybody but I really do enjoy that. I dont feel like I want to change, I dont know it sounds very messed up but Ive never felt safer.
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